All language subtitles for United States of Tara s01e02 math.eng

Transcript:
browncoat, lafeelicita, pouhiou, valpi

Synchro:
grischka, salomon

I just really resent picking up
after them.

I mean, not the kids...

the alters...

The messes they make can be

astounding.

And having multiple personalities
is like...

hosting a keger in your brain.

Only you're passed out cold while
everyone else is just trashing with joy.

This family meeting
is called to order.

I like to call them summits,

it sounds more global,
or more Swiss.

OK, so... Friday afternoon
I believe T. was in here, right?

That was definitely T. time.

In which case we need
to talk about some

mysterious charges
on my credit card.

What?

Or I could look up the statement
and see what T. and her "friend"

spent my money on.

OK so I got some skank shirts
at that dead mall in Greenview

but I didn't take off the tags,
so I'll return them, OK?

And I got a knockoff
chinese Gucci "icepack"...

And some cigarettes...
which I did not smoke because

T. gets menthols and I think
it does make your lungs bleed.

And I also think they're racist.

I need my own money.

OK, so then I came back
and then I was Buck...

- and I kicked some ass.
- Oh, yeah,

well technically,
Buck kicked some ass.

- Great.
- I helped.

High Five.

OK, that's really good
we can discuss this as a family.

Doesn't have to be weird.

It's weird.

So I can't believe
you guys went bowling without me.

We really went there cause

Buck has a thing for that hillbilly
waitress at the snack bar.

He won her a stuffed Taz
at the Arcade game.

Then she licked his face.

Look, we knew when you were off the meds
the whole gang would resurface.

Multiple personality reunion tour.

They're like Genesis, man.
We always knew that

stage would come back.

Anyway I can't, we can't,
begin to understand why you need them,

- unless we let them show themselves.
- You're right.

Look at your poor eye,

it's just not all purple anymore,
it's kind of...

a funky 70s yellow now.

- That hurt!
- Sorry.

You're laughing.

- What's this?
- Pandora's Box.

G. W. Pabst, 1929.
It's a masterpiece.

I could screen it
in the living room this weekend.

Sounds great.
We could subject the whole family.

Louise Brooks
is about to be murdered.

Her sexual indiscretions
will not go unpunished.

Honey?

Is there anything you wanna tell me?

Did he call?

Who called me?

- He didn't?
- Who?

Can I be upfront with you?

I've been having some differences
of opinion with my English teacher.

Alright, so can anyone
tell me the significance

of Ethan's walking stick
in this chapter?

Madison.

I think that Ethan
needs something to lean on.

That's one way to look at it, yeah.

Actually, it's patently erotic.

The walking stick represents
Ethan's erection.

It's inappropriate, Marshall.

Excuse me, Mr Gershenoff,

I'm not an expert or anything but,

I think I know my literary boners.

Do you want me to talk to him?
I'll be more than happy to.

No, I can handle it.

The last you need is
to worry about my stupid school stuff.

Fuck me!

God dammit!

Piece of shit!

- Nice
- Fuck!

Mum, this boot has come from Hell.

It just came from the town of Hell
to make my life miserable.

Thank you.

Hey, so I was thinking about
how you took care of stuff,

and that prescription
when I wasn't around,

and that I'm really proud of you.

About what? Like why
I didn't use a condom or something?

Actually I think I know why people
don't always use condoms.

Sex can be bizarre
when you first start doing it, I mean...

naked people, weird body parts.
It's awkward as hell.

And no one knows how to act.

I just want you to know
I've been there and we can talk.

OK. Thanks.

It's just there's a lot of
misinformation floating around...

you know like
for instance anal sex is sex.

See? I just said anal sex,
I'm pretty cool.

What?

It's nothing, Mum.

It's just some times you make me feel
like I'm living in some sort of

lifetime lady tampon movie.

What's a lifetime lady tampon movie?

Forget it Max, conversation's over.

Dad, I hate it
when she just swoops in here

and acts like we can
just talk about anything.

She's your mother and she cares.
So you gotta love her.

You have to, maybe.

You married her.

And you chose that.

But for me,
it's just drama and weirdness.

Bye.

One day, she'll grow up
and be a person, I promise.

She'll grow up, she'll have kids
of her own and be your adult daughter,

and not this evil,
fucking Bratz doll.

I was hoping that...

There's not a kid
in the world that wants

to talk with their mother about sex.
She's fine.

From your lips.

And tomorrow, I'm gonna talk
with Marshy's teacher,

We're getting that straightened out.

What? I thought
he didn't want us to...

Mum...

you see... the thing is,

Mr Gershenoff is kind of a bear,

and... people are still talking...

We just thought a man to man thing
might be the way to play this guy.

- But... if you...
- If you wanna go...

No, you guys are absolutely right.

It's exactly the right way
to play it.

Why you care if Marshall doesn't want
you to talk to his teachers?

It's like they don't even
want me around when I'm me.

Please, it's all you.

Plus... He wet the bed.

What do you mean?

He peed the bed,
like Baby Goo Goo Ga Ga?

Or wet the bed? Big boy!

He urinated in the bed, Charmaine.

He used to do it all the time
when he was a kid,

he hasn't done it since
he was like 11.

Kate... I don't know
who she is becoming?

Maybe the kids
are responding to trauma.

What trauma?

You know, your schizophrenia...

situation.

OK, let me explain, again.

Schizophrenia is when you hear voices,
like the radio people.

I don't have that.
I don't hear voices.

- Right, you do the whole character.
- I wanna get something for Kate.

You should get her one of those.

Which she could wear
while having unprotected sex.

- To spice things up a bit.
- Yeah.

- You know what you need?
- Better not be vitamins.

These are not just vitamins.

This is a product
I happen to believe in.

Otherwise i wouldn't be
a level 2 sales wrap.

This is Vita-Self mood
booster remix.

It's a little drink you do
once in the morning,

twice in the evening
with like a... salt water flush.

Sounds great.

I just rather not...

flush. Sorry.

Buy some and help me out a little.

I beg your call in.

Hey, let's go to Macaw island
this week end.

You serious?

Come on, man, the Beach Boys are
playing without any actual Beach Boys.

If i want to witness a sad decline,
I'll just take a look on my own life.

Thank you.

It's been too long since we did any

intense manly stuff, you know?

All we do now is shovel dirt,

nurse trees and shit.

We're landscapers, asshole.

Yeah, we scape the land,
but I mean we can't let that define us.

We used to work the land at our 20s
but man, we did it drunk!

Go to Macaw island,
and spent some money,

get some of this old
"buy you a breezer" drinks.

Maybe.
That sounds good, actually.

You gonna do any work here or what?

I'm mesmerized by your ass.

Boring.
These would look alright on you.

- Hey, Tara.
- Hey.

So you... you're out and about, uh?
How are you?

Good... yeah, good.
How are you guys?

I've been thinking about you.

Oh my God, I completly forgot,

I was gonna make
a cake for the bake sale.

For the cleft palate kids in Brazil.

Not that.
I didn't even really count on it.

I mean, you just have
so much on your plate

with that brouhaha
with Katie's boyfriend.

It's not her boyfriend.

They hook up, whatever.

That Benjamin
is an abusive little shit

who disrespect young ladies
while wearing eyeliner. We gotta go.

Good to see you, Tara.

Get some rest, Tara.

Tara, you just stand there
and take it!

I know, I can't...

- I'm not feeling...
- OK, OK!

Tara?

What a marvellous shade!

Oh, fuck!

Don't let Gershenoff intimidate you.

I mean, the man is a B.A.
from a state school.

- I guess.
- Besides, like, what can he do?

Like, run crying
to principal Frankel

just cuz you pointed out
some sex in a novel?

I can't stand
these conservative bedwetters.

What's wrong?

Nothing. I appreciate
your concern, Petula.

Well, you know how much I care.

I gotta hit
that parent-teacher conference,

so keep an eye on the things
while I'm gone, okay?

Hey, what if one of these guys
ask me a question, man.

I don't speak Spanish.

What if the...
What if the owners come home?

Or what if I start doing a bunch of
extra work that isn't in your bid?

You're gonna do
a bunch of extra work?

Hey, you know what?
I'm looking out for you, okay?

I think it's unfair
you gotta do all the work.

Can't Tara do some of it?

Later!

God, you're so co-dependent!

It's called love, bro!

"Called love" yeah, okay!
It's not bad.

It's who we are, Maxwell.

Thanks Jesus, too, man.
I'm always late, usually stoned...

Hello Laurie, Beth. I'm Alice.

Right... Alice.

I brought my cake.

- For the brazillian kids.
- Wow. That is...

elaborate.

I'm sure you'll figure out
where to put it.

You could move whatever... that is.

So long.

Is that...?

I'm sorry if Marshall feels that way.
It's certainly not personal on my hand.

There's a curriculum I have to follow.
We're not in Vermont.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I understand that you...

have an odd
family situation, Mr Gregson.

But in my classroom,
that makes Marshall

neither more interesting,
nor more superior.

Although he seems to think it does.

We're just gonna have
to agree to disagree

because to me, that sounds
pretty fucking personal.

Room for one more?

- I'm okay. I got this covered.
- Well, will be by the minute.

I came by to drop off
some treats for the bakesale.

I figured while I was here
I'd pop in and meet my boy's teacher.

Mr. Gershenoff,
it is such a pleasure.

Thank you.

We're so very worried
about our Marshall.

Should we be concerned?

Well, Marshall's a unique challenge.

What about your challenges?

I'm sorry?

Mr. Gershenoff, I feel so formal.
May I call you by your first name?

What is your first name?

Oral.

Mr. Gershenoff,

we all know
what this is really about.

Being different.

And you, out of anyone,
must understand.

Poor little Oral Gershenoff,
sitting in the back of the class,

with his funny hair
and his funny name.

Daydreaming about...

sports he'd never play

and girls he'd never touch.

You know, pandering
to the football captains

and prom queens of today
won't take away the pain of yesterday.

They can't appreciate you now
anymore than they did back then.

And taking it out on the weird kid

won't help that weird kid in there.

It's time to start loving, Oral.

I never meant
to single Marshall out.

I've assigned some extra credit,

so, if he completes it,
he can keep his average up.

Such a pleasure to meet you, Oral.

Have a wonderful day.

Oh my God, you saved my life.

- Oh, people.
- It was amazing.

Oh, no you did, Alice.

It was a "Tour de Force".

The French language is so expressive.
Don't you think, Kate?

- Can I have wine with my menu?
- No.

When someone asks you a question,

it's custumary to lift your gaze
to meet theirs and responding kind.

When is mom coming back?

Tara is not equiped to manage
this family, at the moment.

Now we've all come to a consensus
and I think you need me right now.

Enough with your gadget. You can
communicate with your boyfriend later.

- Just one glass?
- No.

Oh, for goodness.

Alice, I don't have a boyfriend anymore.
Because my mom turned into a man,

came to school and give a slap to him
while everyone I ever met watched.

Well he had bad genes.

Your children would have been
ugly and stupid.

- Where are you going?
- Just need some air.

Feast is here.

Chicken, please.
Thank you.

Back in a moment, sweetheart.

What is it?

Just having a weird day.

Well, snap youself out of it,
we're here to have a nice dinner.

I don't want to have a nice dinner.

Kate, I know you aren't fond of me,

But I'm concerned about
your development as a young woman.

You're promiscuous.
You aren't guarding your flower.

What do you want, Alice?

I want to let you know that
even though I deeply disapprove

of the way you carry yourself,
your mother loves you very much.

She wants you to know
she didn't mean

to overreact about those pills
you brought home.

She just doesn't want you being...

intimate,

at your age.

Because she had you at nineteen,
and it was quite a hardship.

I'm not a hardship.

I'm awesome.

You're a graceless ingrate.

You mean a slut?

A girl who likes boys?

Who lets boys know she likes them?

A girl who orgasms?

Who moans, and moans,
and screams in ecstasy?

A girl who sucks,

and fucks?

A girl with absolutely no
backdoor shyness?

That's it.

I'm going to wash your mouth out
with soap.

- You've got to be kidding me.
- Try me.

What I was saying about...

Are you insane?

- What the fuck?
- Dad!

You okay?

This is fucking bullshit!

God, I want out.

How?

Are you hiring?

Always.

I'd like to fill up an application.

Why do you wanna work here?

I love to serve people.

I found a coffee stir
if you need a little walking stick.

Cool, thanks.

Would you like me to tuck you in?

I'm fourteen, Alice.

I think I can handle it.

I know you tee teed in your bed.

You know, lack of control
is nothing to be ashamed of.

Lots of debonair men throughout history
have had their peccadilloes.

For instance, Cary Grant
liked to wear women's underwear.

I don't know what happened,
I haven't had an accident in years.

It's weird.

It's not your fault, sweetie.

You know, someday,

if everything goes
the way I'm hoping,

I'll be here all the time.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Knocking.

Don't come in.

Come on, give me two minutes,
three minutes tops.

- Is that wax?
- Ninety seconds.

I'm sorry about Alice.

Washing your mouth out with soap,
I mean, that's crazy.

It's kind of funny, though.
Right?

It's about as funny as
an irregular mole.

Marsh told me about what happened.

It's unfair.
I'm sorry, honey.

What's that?

Remember those photos
we used to keep in a shoe box?

Alice organized them all
earlier today

and made a remainder photo album.

Alice made this?

Oh my god!

Hello, I just crapped my pants.

Look at mum.

Yeah, she's beautiful.

Okay, time's up.

You want me to hang on
to that for you?

No, I think I'll just kinda...

hang on to it for a second.

I made you a marvelous lunch
for tomorrow.

It's in the icebox.

Where are the kids now?

Kate's on the computer,

probably looking at
that hot topic pornography.

I don't know why you allow it,
it's hardly my place to say.

And Marshall is working on
his Winter of Discontent project.

That was one of my favorite books
at Radcliffe.

You didn't go to Radcliffe.

What are you doing?

I was just going to press
these old dungarees.

Don't put creases in my jeans.

Why did you feel the need
to sanitize my kid's mouth anyway?

She was using some
very unbecoming language.

She's always been outspoken,
that's why we love her, so...

Maybe from now on,
let me deal out the punishment, okay?

I was just trying to help.

Yeah, I know you are.

Come on.

Don't you want to make a baby?

Neither does Tara. She's got an IUD.

Those things are known to fail,
you know?

They're an unnatural device.

Satan's Tree.

- So that's that, then?
- That's that, then.

You're abandoning me.

Something tells me
you can take care of yourself.

What?

Nothing.

Just looking for someone.

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