All language subtitles for United States of Tara s01e01 Pilot.eng
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1
00:00:16,702 --> 00:00:18,760
This is Tara, obviously.
2
00:00:19,763 --> 00:00:21,843
It's Thursday, the 12th.
3
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:24,457
Looks like I've got about...
4
00:00:24,582 --> 00:00:26,338
four minutes, or so...
5
00:00:26,463 --> 00:00:29,846
So I just want to explain where I'm at
right now, while I'm still lucid.
6
00:00:30,786 --> 00:00:31,811
See,
7
00:00:32,330 --> 00:00:34,582
I'm under a lot of pressure lately.
8
00:00:35,170 --> 00:00:37,763
I've been hired
by the mayor's wife to do this...
9
00:00:37,888 --> 00:00:41,082
17th century rococo nursery
for her unborn son.
10
00:00:42,093 --> 00:00:44,525
She wants a gold diaper genie
11
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:48,089
and a giant wall fresco
depicting herself as a pregnant saint.
12
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,424
This is what I do!
13
00:00:50,832 --> 00:00:51,869
I...
14
00:00:53,302 --> 00:00:57,253
I create opulent environments
for women who have much money.
15
00:00:58,464 --> 00:01:00,365
And I'm good at it, too.
16
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,412
I rule.
I've...
17
00:01:03,316 --> 00:01:07,305
I've no problem keepin'track of
a million things for my clients, but...
18
00:01:08,107 --> 00:01:12,076
unfortunately, I can't seem to
micro-manage my daughter's vagina.
19
00:01:18,503 --> 00:01:19,713
See this?
20
00:01:21,923 --> 00:01:24,578
It's a prescription
for morning-after pills.
21
00:01:24,703 --> 00:01:26,023
As in...
22
00:01:26,148 --> 00:01:29,974
The morning after a skanky,
sweaty, teen sex.
23
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,456
I found this in Kate's bagpack,
last night.
24
00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,551
A part of me wants to play hip mom
25
00:01:37,676 --> 00:01:39,795
and just applaude my daughter
for being responsible.
26
00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:43,895
And the other part of me just
wants to saw her up. I mean...
27
00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:47,752
Kate's always been
a very affectionate kid, very huggy,
28
00:01:47,877 --> 00:01:50,397
got a lot of Valentines
in grade school...
29
00:01:50,864 --> 00:01:53,506
Maybe I should have seen this comin'.
I just...
30
00:01:59,024 --> 00:02:01,258
I can't deal with this right now.
31
00:02:02,712 --> 00:02:03,829
I'm sorry.
32
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,962
Transcript:
browncoat, lafeelicita, pouhiou, valpi
33
00:02:19,087 --> 00:02:20,921
Synchro:
grischka, salomon
34
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,312
Seriessub.com
35
00:02:29,828 --> 00:02:31,212
Is anybody home?
36
00:02:32,547 --> 00:02:33,647
Marshall?
37
00:02:35,429 --> 00:02:37,230
Stunning cleaning lady?
38
00:02:38,416 --> 00:02:39,417
Mommy?
39
00:02:43,124 --> 00:02:44,545
Hi, sex robot.
40
00:02:45,695 --> 00:02:47,227
I miss you too.
41
00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:51,378
Shit, I gotta go.
42
00:02:52,083 --> 00:02:53,207
I just do.
43
00:03:04,687 --> 00:03:05,947
Mom briefs.
44
00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:12,967
T., who let you out!
45
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:15,474
Dude, I've been digging around
in your closet for an hour
46
00:03:15,599 --> 00:03:18,828
- and I can't fucking get to naughty ya.
- Nice well tail.
47
00:03:18,953 --> 00:03:22,126
- You wish you had all this
- So, what's the deal, T.?
48
00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:23,984
Why are you here, instead of mom?
49
00:03:24,109 --> 00:03:26,807
Your mom is in a bad place mentally.
Yeah.
50
00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:28,549
- Is it my fault?
- Kinda.
51
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,902
Remember those kill pills I had
to get at the free clinic?
52
00:03:31,027 --> 00:03:32,878
Your mom found the evidence
and she's tweaked.
53
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,254
How she found out?
54
00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:37,685
She went all CSI in that pubic bag
that you call a bagpack.
55
00:03:39,106 --> 00:03:41,849
Mom violated the monkey.
That bitch.
56
00:03:41,974 --> 00:03:43,308
Total bitch!
57
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:45,642
Are those my new skinny jeans?
58
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,809
Don't they make my ass look fine?
59
00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:49,311
Fine for forty.
60
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,491
You know how much
it blows being fifteen,
61
00:03:51,616 --> 00:03:53,635
and stuck in this ancient body?
Look,
62
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:55,175
I have a muffin top.
63
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,401
It must suck.
64
00:03:56,772 --> 00:03:57,782
You suck.
65
00:03:58,652 --> 00:04:00,223
Your clothes suck.
66
00:04:01,191 --> 00:04:03,116
Let's go downtown.
Buy a bunch of new stuff.
67
00:04:03,715 --> 00:04:04,910
We don't have any money.
68
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,563
Well, I raided Tara's wallet,
we're fully laminated, baby.
69
00:04:08,688 --> 00:04:12,677
T.! This is why I love you the best
out of all the alters!
70
00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:14,215
Drugs, not hugs.
71
00:04:19,213 --> 00:04:20,936
I love that gloss on you.
72
00:04:21,061 --> 00:04:22,673
Makes you look porno.
73
00:04:22,798 --> 00:04:23,804
Really?
74
00:04:25,948 --> 00:04:27,066
Bring with.
75
00:04:29,593 --> 00:04:32,488
You have to drive,
'cause I smoked two fatty.
76
00:04:32,613 --> 00:04:34,400
Hey Marshall.
77
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:35,888
What's up, rocker?
78
00:04:36,013 --> 00:04:37,969
- Mom!
- No.
79
00:04:38,094 --> 00:04:41,119
Mom keeps her ass crack in.
Check, it's T.
80
00:04:41,244 --> 00:04:42,598
I can see that now.
81
00:04:42,723 --> 00:04:45,808
Jellow pudding isn't for the children.
82
00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:51,617
Bitch, the vanilla ones are mine!
83
00:04:51,742 --> 00:04:53,533
Hey Marshall!
You wanna go downtown?
84
00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:56,062
We gonna buy cheap hot clothes
that makes look insecure.
85
00:04:56,187 --> 00:04:59,598
I have to write a paper
on George Cukor and french other films.
86
00:04:59,723 --> 00:05:01,406
Pudding is good...
87
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:02,992
ding.
88
00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:08,206
T., could we please go before
Dad gets home and ruins our lives.
89
00:05:08,331 --> 00:05:09,432
Too late, girls.
90
00:05:10,909 --> 00:05:13,235
Here comes the maxi-fat now!
91
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,147
With a bucket of fried dough.
92
00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:16,982
T. You're back.
93
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,858
- Fuckin'A.
- "Fuckin'A."
94
00:05:19,026 --> 00:05:21,196
That's more respect
than I've gotten all day.
95
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,436
That subcontract was a real shit-head.
96
00:05:23,561 --> 00:05:26,035
Oops I'm a vegetarian now, Max.
I don't eat meat.
97
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:29,160
Besides, the hormones in that clock-cock
can make you get a third nipple.
98
00:05:29,674 --> 00:05:31,375
- Really?
- It's true you guys
99
00:05:31,500 --> 00:05:33,665
I've got a MySpace blowin'about it.
100
00:05:36,518 --> 00:05:37,591
Dah!
101
00:05:37,716 --> 00:05:38,765
Double D.
102
00:05:40,531 --> 00:05:42,434
You can have my coleslaw, T.
103
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:43,802
Hey, don't cover her.
104
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,003
If she's gonna eat with us,
she's gotta cooperate.
105
00:05:46,128 --> 00:05:47,554
Remember, we talked about this.
106
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,847
Pussy.
107
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:50,778
Shocking.
108
00:05:51,692 --> 00:05:54,352
So Dad, I got the lead
in the recital tomorrow.
109
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,911
What happened to Darcy?
110
00:05:56,036 --> 00:05:58,169
All she ate was bananas and gums
for like 2 months.
111
00:05:58,294 --> 00:06:00,668
So they sent her to St Marks,
they put a tube in her stomach.
112
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,907
- That's hilarious.
- I know.
113
00:06:05,962 --> 00:06:07,573
It's very sad, actually.
114
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,040
Cougar crossin'!
115
00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:12,704
Hey, aunt Charmaine.
116
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,636
Charmaine, what we forget?
117
00:06:15,228 --> 00:06:18,350
Tara and I were supposed to go
a Pampered Chef party tonight in Shawny.
118
00:06:18,475 --> 00:06:21,531
But something tells me
that my sister isn't home tonight.
119
00:06:21,656 --> 00:06:23,040
My god! You're so smart!
120
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:25,421
I can't believe you never finished
massage school.
121
00:06:25,546 --> 00:06:28,052
Who is this? I can't remember
what this one is called.
122
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,369
That's T., like the letter,
not the hot beverage.
123
00:06:30,494 --> 00:06:32,756
You only met me like a million times
old letter T.
124
00:06:32,881 --> 00:06:36,188
OK! You know what? I obviously walked
in the middle of a family crisis, so...
125
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,531
I will just... check in later.
126
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,858
That's not a crisis.
We like it when T. comes around.
127
00:06:44,042 --> 00:06:46,304
Max, can I talk to you for a minute?
128
00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:47,482
In private.
129
00:06:52,611 --> 00:06:55,778
You better go!
Give it to her, Maxi.
130
00:07:02,165 --> 00:07:04,672
I hate her.
Fuckin'cow.
131
00:07:09,284 --> 00:07:10,428
Jesus!
132
00:07:12,260 --> 00:07:14,979
Don't worry about it.
I'll get Marshall to go with you.
133
00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,810
I think he needs a new 88 carrier.
134
00:07:17,978 --> 00:07:20,355
Max, it's not about that,
it's about her.
135
00:07:21,173 --> 00:07:24,359
I mean, it's really hard for me
to see my sister like that.
136
00:07:24,484 --> 00:07:26,443
I never thought
she would still be this way.
137
00:07:26,568 --> 00:07:29,836
- She's really not doing that bad.
- Why can't she just stop?
138
00:07:30,822 --> 00:07:32,992
I mean, it's not even
a real disease, Max.
139
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,600
It's real, Charmy.
140
00:07:34,725 --> 00:07:37,528
You grew up with her.
You know better than anybody.
141
00:07:37,653 --> 00:07:40,833
Look, nobody's trying to imply that you
don't have a right to be angry, you do.
142
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,823
We're all angry at the crazy.
143
00:07:43,725 --> 00:07:44,736
But...
144
00:07:45,602 --> 00:07:47,493
I've been living
with this for 17 years.
145
00:07:48,526 --> 00:07:49,812
Married to it.
146
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:52,428
You just take it to
Pampered Chef parties.
147
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,344
I know.
148
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:57,307
You're right.
149
00:08:00,172 --> 00:08:02,666
I'm sorry
you have to live this way, honey.
150
00:08:03,234 --> 00:08:05,420
You really deserve so much better.
151
00:08:09,555 --> 00:08:11,148
No, I don't.
Really.
152
00:08:25,941 --> 00:08:27,004
Nice boner.
153
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,466
I don't have one.
154
00:08:31,252 --> 00:08:32,252
Sure.
155
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:37,398
You wanna paint my toenails?
Gonna have a "Lolita" moment.
156
00:08:38,475 --> 00:08:40,957
- You read the book?
- I saw the movie.
157
00:08:41,082 --> 00:08:44,990
Marshall thought I'd like it. I liked
the first part, then it was like...
158
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,779
How long are you staying
with us this time, T.?
159
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:51,057
Are you trying
to get rid of me already?
160
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,728
God I hardly ever get
to come out anymore.
161
00:08:55,126 --> 00:08:57,118
You come out as much
as the other alters.
162
00:08:57,286 --> 00:08:59,234
That's not true!
163
00:08:59,359 --> 00:09:01,490
Alice gets way more air time.
164
00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:04,384
You like her better caus' she bakes.
165
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:07,556
I'm pretty sure I like you the best.
166
00:09:20,797 --> 00:09:21,797
What?
167
00:09:22,513 --> 00:09:24,205
I know you love me.
168
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:27,067
Doesn't feel right, sorry.
169
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,321
Why? This is your wife's body.
170
00:09:29,518 --> 00:09:32,673
Just cause I'm not her
doesn't mean we can't hook up.
171
00:09:34,614 --> 00:09:37,527
We know from experience
Tara wouldn't like that.
172
00:09:37,993 --> 00:09:39,464
Sure she would.
173
00:09:40,129 --> 00:09:41,988
Physically, she needs it.
174
00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:44,620
You know, just the other day,
175
00:09:44,745 --> 00:09:48,068
she bought a shade of blush
called orgasm.
176
00:09:56,745 --> 00:09:59,405
OK, no offense,
you gotta go to the shed now.
177
00:10:00,403 --> 00:10:02,746
Not trying to hear that!
178
00:10:04,535 --> 00:10:05,623
Let's go.
179
00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:14,445
I hate you for not fucking me.
180
00:10:16,576 --> 00:10:18,504
Wear a coat, it's chilly.
181
00:10:20,748 --> 00:10:22,185
Where are you going?
182
00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:24,788
Madison's house.
We have a civics project due tomorrow.
183
00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:26,373
It's 9:00.
Are you kidding me?
184
00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:28,126
Are you being my strict daddy now?
185
00:10:28,251 --> 00:10:30,372
You're gonna take me
to one of these purity bals?
186
00:10:30,497 --> 00:10:32,435
One hour. No negociating.
187
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:36,511
- Where did T. go?
- She went out to the shed.
188
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,803
Oh, shed fit.
You know she's not gonna come back.
189
00:10:39,971 --> 00:10:41,703
She shouldn't been out
in the first place.
190
00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:45,166
I know what mom found in your purse,
so I'm not real thrilled with you.
191
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:48,063
I'm sorry. I guess I should have let
that fertilized egg
192
00:10:48,188 --> 00:10:49,834
implant itself in my uterus.
193
00:10:49,959 --> 00:10:50,959
OK. Enough.
194
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:52,858
Do you hear yourself sometimes?
195
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:55,029
Shut it.
196
00:10:55,553 --> 00:10:56,676
All right?
197
00:10:57,562 --> 00:11:00,282
You know that bad surprises
are a trigger for her.
198
00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,910
Everything is a trigger lately.
Why can't mom just be...
199
00:11:03,035 --> 00:11:05,057
maniac-depressive
like all the other moms?
200
00:11:05,182 --> 00:11:07,313
You can't expect me
to be the perfect child all the time
201
00:11:07,438 --> 00:11:10,042
cause mom acts like a bunch of different
people when she's stressed out.
202
00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:11,794
She's not acting, Katie.
203
00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:16,512
- Aunt Charmaine says she is.
- Aunt Charmaine is a hose beast.
204
00:11:16,825 --> 00:11:19,221
I just saw T. going out to the shed.
205
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,887
- Is she gonna have a shed fit?
- I don't know.
206
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:24,646
Well, I don't want
the neighbors to know either.
207
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:27,645
So brace yourselves
with Thelonius Monk.
208
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,426
Why do you do that?
209
00:11:30,178 --> 00:11:33,100
So they can't hear her. Or judge her.
210
00:12:07,095 --> 00:12:08,245
Welcome back.
211
00:12:26,575 --> 00:12:27,625
You're late.
212
00:12:39,414 --> 00:12:41,540
You're looking very quiet tonight,
213
00:12:41,665 --> 00:12:42,715
Katie-chan.
214
00:12:44,455 --> 00:12:46,263
That means "cute", right?
215
00:12:49,385 --> 00:12:50,385
So...
216
00:12:51,245 --> 00:12:52,894
Why didn't you
text me back, earlier?
217
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,925
It was kinda freaky at my house.
218
00:12:58,655 --> 00:13:02,548
You know I told you that my mom has like
multiple personalities and shit?
219
00:13:03,245 --> 00:13:04,895
When she transitioned...
220
00:13:05,155 --> 00:13:06,155
like...
221
00:13:06,570 --> 00:13:07,720
one of her...
222
00:13:07,845 --> 00:13:10,912
alters, like one of the personalities,
is our age.
223
00:13:11,605 --> 00:13:14,458
So your mom actually goes around
actin' like she's a teenager?
224
00:13:15,385 --> 00:13:16,385
No,
225
00:13:16,855 --> 00:13:18,800
she don't actually
go around because...
226
00:13:18,925 --> 00:13:20,775
Actually, she's pretty lazy.
227
00:13:21,045 --> 00:13:22,045
But...
228
00:13:23,505 --> 00:13:24,955
she's not always T.
229
00:13:25,825 --> 00:13:27,475
Sometimes she's others.
230
00:13:29,174 --> 00:13:30,724
That is so messed up!
231
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:37,975
Well, your mom has implants.
232
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,800
What does that have to do
with anything?
233
00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:45,175
- Because they're slutty!
- Babe, she got them for her!
234
00:13:46,235 --> 00:13:49,085
Anyway. I am just happy
that my mom's off meds.
235
00:13:49,695 --> 00:13:53,665
- {\You know, }It {\really }made her so that she couldn't {\really feel}...
- You know what? Whatever! Just...
236
00:13:54,105 --> 00:13:55,832
Don't ignore
another text from me again.
237
00:13:56,405 --> 00:13:57,405
Okay?
238
00:13:59,234 --> 00:14:01,129
Texting is how I show my love.
239
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:06,875
I won't.
240
00:14:08,455 --> 00:14:09,455
Arigatô.
241
00:14:21,935 --> 00:14:23,285
Hey, Marshmallow.
242
00:14:25,745 --> 00:14:26,745
Hey, mum.
243
00:14:28,985 --> 00:14:31,235
Listen. I'm sorry about... tonight.
244
00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:32,953
It's pretty wacky, huh?
245
00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:35,565
It was no big woop.
246
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,260
How was she?
247
00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:38,435
T., I mean.
248
00:14:39,845 --> 00:14:42,980
She wasn't that bad. I mean,
she was only here for a couple of hours.
249
00:14:43,105 --> 00:14:45,048
Do you know she's a vegetarian now?
250
00:14:48,725 --> 00:14:49,725
Am I high?
251
00:14:52,055 --> 00:14:53,348
Maybe a little. Yeah.
252
00:14:56,165 --> 00:14:57,215
Listen, I...
253
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:02,670
I wanna thank you for being
such a strong, supportive kid.
254
00:15:02,795 --> 00:15:04,140
I'm really lucky.
255
00:15:04,265 --> 00:15:06,015
We're lucky, Mum. I mean,
256
00:15:06,195 --> 00:15:08,029
because of you,
we get to be interesting.
257
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:10,740
You like being interesting?
258
00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:11,865
I love it.
259
00:15:17,855 --> 00:15:19,705
I think I have the munchies.
260
00:15:20,110 --> 00:15:22,360
You want anything from the kitchen?
261
00:15:22,485 --> 00:15:24,535
No, thanks.
I have chai, so...
262
00:15:27,555 --> 00:15:28,905
Nite nite, Marsh.
263
00:15:32,903 --> 00:15:33,847
Hey, babe.
264
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,845
The History Channel.
265
00:15:39,015 --> 00:15:40,015
Fun.
266
00:15:40,235 --> 00:15:42,885
Yeah, a hostage crisis
who never gets home.
267
00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:49,708
- Did you talk to Kate?
- She's fine.
268
00:15:51,885 --> 00:15:52,935
That's good.
269
00:15:58,295 --> 00:16:00,582
Hang on.
I'm still getting used to my legs.
270
00:16:01,385 --> 00:16:02,435
It's just...
271
00:16:03,865 --> 00:16:05,461
T. was a little feist tonight.
272
00:16:07,505 --> 00:16:09,555
Now you're all hot and bothered.
273
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,761
You didn't do anything, did you?
274
00:16:14,555 --> 00:16:16,347
Does it look like I did anything?
275
00:16:18,145 --> 00:16:21,095
Your lips taste like
that porno stuff she wears.
276
00:16:21,475 --> 00:16:23,190
Honey, we made out a little bit.
277
00:16:23,315 --> 00:16:24,465
Don't get mad.
278
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,860
I can't help it. What {\the fuck }am I
supposed to do? She looks just like you.
279
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:32,135
Not exactly, right?
I mean she dresses like a whore.
280
00:16:33,305 --> 00:16:35,855
Like a whore, sweety.
The kids come hose.
281
00:16:38,913 --> 00:16:40,363
I could be a whore.
282
00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:44,180
I could be a very plausible whore.
283
00:16:44,305 --> 00:16:45,555
No, you don't...
284
00:16:46,985 --> 00:16:49,130
you don't have to whore it up
just for me.
285
00:16:50,615 --> 00:16:51,615
Yes, I do.
286
00:16:52,535 --> 00:16:53,785
I definitely do.
287
00:17:09,625 --> 00:17:11,490
Somebody forgot their pants.
288
00:17:11,615 --> 00:17:14,365
I prefer to think of it
as remembering my ass
289
00:17:22,965 --> 00:17:24,615
You look fucking cheap.
290
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:25,895
Thanks, Max.
291
00:17:50,185 --> 00:17:51,435
Honey, it's me...
292
00:17:51,835 --> 00:17:52,835
Tara.
293
00:17:53,575 --> 00:17:55,724
Look, I'm just dropping off
Kate's costume.
294
00:17:55,849 --> 00:17:57,450
That was made for that...
295
00:17:57,575 --> 00:18:00,510
anorexia girl. So I had
to led out the seams. Anyway...
296
00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:04,260
I'm gonna be home around 6.
And then we'll all head over to the...
297
00:18:04,385 --> 00:18:05,935
the recital together.
298
00:18:13,365 --> 00:18:14,365
Kate!
299
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:17,232
I did not raise you to let boys
who wear a pig tails push you around.
300
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,950
- These are samourai knots!
- Mum,
301
00:18:19,075 --> 00:18:21,472
we're having a dialog about
our relationship, Okay? We're fine.
302
00:18:21,597 --> 00:18:25,559
We? Honey, this powerpuff boy
does not worth a collective pronoun.
303
00:18:25,727 --> 00:18:27,446
We are managing
our conflict right now{\, please}.
304
00:18:27,571 --> 00:18:29,647
Is that the bitch character
or something, Kate?
305
00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:31,274
- Make her turn it off.
- Ben...
306
00:18:32,965 --> 00:18:34,652
Everyone's staring at me.
307
00:18:40,905 --> 00:18:42,368
Everyone's always staring at me.
308
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,865
Hey, bitch.
Are you still baffled?
309
00:20:19,425 --> 00:20:22,375
Hey, mum.
I'm making muffins of triumph for Kate.
310
00:20:59,365 --> 00:21:01,898
Mufins of triumph, attaboy!
311
00:21:03,165 --> 00:21:04,385
Where's mum?
312
00:21:06,930 --> 00:21:08,180
Well, I'm not...
313
00:21:08,305 --> 00:21:10,307
I'm not sure if mum's here...
I mean,
314
00:21:10,555 --> 00:21:13,281
mom's here,
but I don't know if mum's...
315
00:21:13,785 --> 00:21:14,785
here...
316
00:21:15,594 --> 00:21:16,396
T.'s back?
317
00:21:18,095 --> 00:21:19,245
No, I think...
318
00:21:20,265 --> 00:21:21,265
maybe...
319
00:21:21,895 --> 00:21:22,895
Buck...
320
00:21:26,355 --> 00:21:27,950
Right again, peach fest.
321
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:31,165
Buck!
322
00:21:31,325 --> 00:21:32,325
Nice!
323
00:21:33,965 --> 00:21:35,707
Hey, don't smoke in here, okay, man?
324
00:21:36,135 --> 00:21:37,985
I always smoke when I party.
325
00:21:38,345 --> 00:21:39,995
Well this isn't a party.
326
00:21:41,055 --> 00:21:42,055
Says you.
327
00:21:43,755 --> 00:21:47,055
Looks like femoral here
has been baking up a storm.
328
00:21:52,785 --> 00:21:54,135
Tastes homo made.
329
00:21:56,525 --> 00:21:57,575
Homo made...
330
00:21:57,895 --> 00:21:59,944
Hey, those are for
Katie's dance recital
331
00:22:00,069 --> 00:22:02,317
and she'd love to see you there.
You're coming, right?
332
00:22:03,875 --> 00:22:07,461
No can't do. As much as I wanna see
what Katie's friends look like in tats,
333
00:22:07,586 --> 00:22:08,740
I'm gonna go shooting.
334
00:22:09,135 --> 00:22:10,135
What? No!
335
00:22:10,275 --> 00:22:12,470
Buck. You're not going to
gun range without us.
336
00:22:12,595 --> 00:22:13,870
That's our {\guy }thing, us three.
337
00:22:17,275 --> 00:22:19,425
Sorry. Already cleaned Persephone.
338
00:22:19,725 --> 00:22:21,295
Oh you cleansed your gun already!
339
00:22:21,814 --> 00:22:23,463
Hey, my regards to Katie.
340
00:22:24,785 --> 00:22:25,785
Fine.
341
00:22:31,775 --> 00:22:33,515
- Who are you calling?
- Dr Ocean.
342
00:22:34,115 --> 00:22:36,727
Maybe she can talk to you
about being a little less selfish.
343
00:22:36,895 --> 00:22:40,545
But Dr Ocean's actually in
the self emulation center in Tampa.
344
00:22:43,164 --> 00:22:43,930
Sorry.
345
00:22:44,055 --> 00:22:46,820
Smartass teenagers.
Got themselves up.
346
00:22:46,988 --> 00:22:48,100
Buck, listen,
347
00:22:48,225 --> 00:22:49,475
Katie loves you.
348
00:22:49,745 --> 00:22:52,325
She'll be thrilled to see you
in the audience. Please.
349
00:22:52,634 --> 00:22:55,110
Dad, don't appeal
to his emotions, just...
350
00:22:55,235 --> 00:22:56,788
Let him go to murder practice.
351
00:22:57,135 --> 00:22:59,499
You don't want me to go,
do you, Marcia?
352
00:23:02,835 --> 00:23:06,226
I just think that you shouldn't have
to do anything that you don't wanna do,
353
00:23:06,351 --> 00:23:07,424
since you're such...
354
00:23:07,795 --> 00:23:09,245
a maverick and all.
355
00:23:15,145 --> 00:23:16,495
Maybe I wanna go.
356
00:23:17,075 --> 00:23:18,075
For Katie.
357
00:23:18,365 --> 00:23:20,020
Okay, that settles it.
358
00:23:20,455 --> 00:23:22,843
Wrap up those MOTs, alright?
We're late.
359
00:23:23,005 --> 00:23:24,615
Let's go.
Thanks Buck.
360
00:23:28,255 --> 00:23:31,505
- This is just unsanitary.
- Oh wrap it up, Doris Day.
361
00:23:35,924 --> 00:23:37,600
- Where's Buck?
- What?
362
00:23:37,725 --> 00:23:38,875
Where's Buck?
363
00:23:40,065 --> 00:23:42,415
- He went to the men's room.
- What?
364
00:23:42,584 --> 00:23:44,220
I told you to watch him!
365
00:23:44,345 --> 00:23:46,695
I did watch him.
I watched him leave.
366
00:23:55,245 --> 00:23:58,395
Again, please take your seats,
ladies and gentlemen.
367
00:24:46,315 --> 00:24:47,865
You're enjoying this.
368
00:24:48,125 --> 00:24:49,375
Shut up, faggy.
369
00:24:49,975 --> 00:24:51,525
Maybe you're one too.
370
00:25:25,435 --> 00:25:26,896
Did you see my Grand Jeté?
371
00:25:27,335 --> 00:25:28,815
- Unbelievable!
- It was huge!
372
00:25:29,015 --> 00:25:31,401
And I've never done a {\quite }pirouette
in front of real people before.
373
00:25:31,569 --> 00:25:32,630
Just you, guys.
374
00:25:32,755 --> 00:25:34,279
- Hey Kate, great job!
- Thanks!
375
00:25:37,283 --> 00:25:38,633
Hey, Mrs Gregson.
376
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:43,162
These muffins of triumph
have never been more well deserved.
377
00:25:43,330 --> 00:25:45,957
It's Paula Deen's recipe,
to eat slightly.
378
00:25:46,125 --> 00:25:47,275
Thanks Marsh.
379
00:25:48,955 --> 00:25:50,405
Dad, where's Buck?
380
00:25:51,172 --> 00:25:52,380
You ever talk to Katie again,
381
00:25:52,549 --> 00:25:54,709
I'll rip up your balls
and shove it down your ass.
382
00:25:54,834 --> 00:25:56,939
Mrs Gregson, stop,
I can't hit you back!
383
00:25:57,064 --> 00:26:00,179
What's this Mrs Gregson bullshit.
I am Buck and I will fuck you sideways.
384
00:26:00,347 --> 00:26:01,697
Wait, you're who?
385
00:26:02,695 --> 00:26:03,695
Come on!
386
00:26:05,685 --> 00:26:06,893
What's going on here?
387
00:26:07,018 --> 00:26:09,391
Not only did this little wanna-be Jack
pop Katie's cherry
388
00:26:09,516 --> 00:26:13,366
- He wrapped her up today!
- What? Is that true? Did he touch you?
389
00:26:13,845 --> 00:26:14,845
Did he?
390
00:26:18,145 --> 00:26:19,145
Marshall!
391
00:26:20,201 --> 00:26:21,251
Fuck him up!
392
00:26:21,974 --> 00:26:23,710
You don't touch my sister!
393
00:26:23,835 --> 00:26:25,685
- Fuck you!
- Fuck him up!
394
00:26:27,255 --> 00:26:28,505
Go, Marshall go!
395
00:26:36,235 --> 00:26:37,295
Geez!
396
00:26:38,835 --> 00:26:39,835
Rusty.
397
00:26:44,054 --> 00:26:45,600
Prepare to be schooled.
398
00:26:46,495 --> 00:26:48,019
That school got a short bus?
399
00:26:57,735 --> 00:26:59,363
So thanks for coming to my recital.
400
00:27:00,365 --> 00:27:01,866
Next time I want Mum.
401
00:27:02,325 --> 00:27:03,675
No offense, Buck.
402
00:27:03,825 --> 00:27:05,404
None taken, blonde head.
403
00:27:05,864 --> 00:27:07,663
I hate that PBS shit anyhow.
404
00:27:13,245 --> 00:27:15,195
Thanks for defending my honor.
405
00:27:15,745 --> 00:27:18,295
Benjamin is such a waste
of hair product.
406
00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:20,470
I can't believe he hit you.
407
00:27:20,595 --> 00:27:21,460
Why?
408
00:27:21,585 --> 00:27:22,835
I'm able-bodied.
409
00:27:23,639 --> 00:27:25,271
Besides, you should thank Marcia.
410
00:27:25,396 --> 00:27:28,646
He got right in there
and kicked like a Pussycat Doll.
411
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,630
That's right, Katie...
412
00:27:31,755 --> 00:27:33,977
We got your back, all of us guys.
413
00:27:34,824 --> 00:27:37,489
Listen, keep it in your pants
from now on here.
414
00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:41,613
You don't wanna go making no babies
till you're sixteen and can support it.
415
00:27:50,175 --> 00:27:51,225
Hey, Marcia,
416
00:27:51,655 --> 00:27:52,805
get over here.
417
00:27:53,725 --> 00:27:55,795
I'll show you how to make
this ball your bitch.
418
00:28:02,761 --> 00:28:04,583
This is the biggest ball
you ever gonna hold.
419
00:28:04,708 --> 00:28:07,838
You gotta move up, swing it back,
and #### straight at us.
420
00:28:09,805 --> 00:28:12,944
It's weird how Buck's a lefty
and none of the others are.
421
00:28:14,775 --> 00:28:16,725
Yeah, that is one weird thing.
422
00:28:16,775 --> 00:28:21,325
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