Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:05,840
Are we rolling?
Yeah, in your own time.
2
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,079
Is that it, just that one word?
3
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,999
Yeah.
OK.
4
00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:16,000
Yes.
5
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:18,799
Uh, hey, Steven that was really good.
6
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,559
Um... feeling is here that you could
be a bit more positive.
7
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:23,959
More positive?
8
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,839
Yeah, you know, really go for it.
9
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,119
You want me to go for it?
Yeah.
10
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:31,959
All right.
11
00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,919
Yes!
12
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:37,679
Very, very good. Um...
13
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,559
Let's try it without the script.
It might just loosen you up a little bit.
14
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,799
What is it, one word?
You don't really need it, do you?
15
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,399
I probably don't need the scripts,
it's just a word.
16
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,400
Yep. OK, let's do it again.
17
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,319
Yes!
18
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,320
Is that it?
Yes. Right.
19
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,999
Hi, Steven?
Yes.
20
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,199
This is Clem Fandango.
Yes?
21
00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,399
Can you hear me?
Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango.
22
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:06,719
Honestly, this is going so great
23
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,399
but I just think there was a little
loss of energy on that last take.
24
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:10,480
Maybe try one more.
25
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,159
OK, ready to go?
Yep. What? Yes!
26
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,719
OK.
27
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:20,720
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
28
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,359
Y-e-e-s!
29
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,360
Y-e-e-e-s! Y-e-e-e-s! Y-e-e-e-s!
30
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,639
Ye-e-e-aah-e-e-s!
31
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,159
Oh, fuck!
32
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,039
Jesus.
33
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,999
Steven?
What?!
34
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,756
How would you feel
about doing a "no"?
35
00:01:47,189 --> 00:02:10,827
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
36
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:19,279
Come on, you idiot.
I'm trying to concentrate, Ellen.
37
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,479
It's only fucking crazy golf.
Now take the shot and move on.
38
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:24,639
It's not crazy golf, it's mini golf.
39
00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,999
What's the fucking difference?
40
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,199
One's crazy and one's mini -
41
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,399
it's obvious
what the fucking difference is.
42
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,679
I'm taking my shot now.
43
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,759
You can't do that, Ellen,
it's my shot.
44
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:33,879
Why is it your shot?
45
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:36,319
Because my ball is
nearer to the hole!
46
00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:40,279
It's not the fucking US Masters,
and I'm going to take my shot.
47
00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,879
You can't do that.
48
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,879
Don't tell me what to do.
49
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,879
Excuse me? Excuse me?
50
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,319
How long are you going to be
on this hole?
51
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,679
Mind your own fucking business.
Yeah.
52
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:54,279
We are actually on this hole,
so piss off and wait your turn.
53
00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:55,599
Now give me the club.
54
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,959
Do not take this club, Ellen.
55
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,079
Do not tell me what to do.
56
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,759
Agh!
57
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,959
I really hate it...
when you tell me what to do!
58
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,399
Agh!
59
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,159
I really... hate it...
60
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:09,919
when you... tell me...
61
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:12,960
what... to do!
Agh, oh!
62
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,479
I really miss her.
63
00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,159
Who's that, Toast?
64
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,839
Ellen, my ex-wife.
65
00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:31,439
I really miss her.
66
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,639
I thought you said
your marriage was volatile.
67
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,919
It was but we had so much in common.
68
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,999
Straight talker,
never suffered fools gladly.
69
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,159
She had a terrific sense of humour.
70
00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,719
I've just got this from her
solicitor.
71
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,439
She wants a divorce
and a hell of a lot of cash.
72
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:49,639
Oh, dear.
Are you flush at the moment?
73
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,359
Well, luckily, I've been hired
by a very rich Arab gentleman
74
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,199
to star in a film he's making.
75
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,199
Oh. He's promised me a tidy sum.
We start tomorrow.
76
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,439
Ah, sounds like something that
Omar Sharif might be in.
77
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,079
I once played some surprisingly
competitive bridge with Omar.
78
00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,799
We had a rubber in his private
Jacuzzi.
79
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,519
So, what's the film about?
I don't know,
80
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,879
I haven't been sent a script.
81
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,880
Huge budget.
It could be a big break for me.
82
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,480
OK, I'm going to ask you if you
recognise any of these photographs.
83
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,239
We think the murderer may be
one of these men.
84
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,679
Is this him?
85
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:30,680
Is this him?
Is this him?
86
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,759
Is this him?
87
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,199
Yes, just as I thought.
88
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,039
And when he attacked you,
89
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,639
did he make an unsavoury
racial comment?
90
00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:43,559
Yes, no surprises there.
91
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:45,439
He's got form on that one.
92
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,759
All right, Mr Ho Chi, you can go.
93
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,439
Stop acting!
94
00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,959
Very good. You get him, Toast, eh?
95
00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,199
You nail the bloody fucker!
96
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,919
I just do whatever it says
in the script, Mr Fasili.
97
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:02,439
Prince Philip, I hate him.
98
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:06,440
It's pretty clear from this
you're not a fan.
99
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,479
It's very good shooting today, Toast.
100
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,639
You know, I've never directed
a film thing before
101
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,039
but I think I'm pretty darn good
at it, yes? Right.
102
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,039
We'll win Oscars, I think,
or BAFTA Awards.
103
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:20,079
I'll show this Prince Philip
character.
104
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,279
I hate him.
105
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,079
I hate him. Hate him, hate him,
hate him.
106
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,440
I hate him, hate him, hate him,
hate him!
107
00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,360
Do you think I could get a sandwich?
108
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,599
It's fucking terrible.
109
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:44,119
He's never directed before,
never written a script
110
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,959
and he hasn't got a chance in hell
111
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,479
of getting this film shown
in any decent cinema in the world.
112
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,999
It's obviously a vanity project.
113
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,759
It's good money, though, Toast.
The man's a billionaire.
114
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,719
That's like a really wealthy
millionaire.
115
00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,479
And besides, you don't really want
anyone to see the film, do you?
116
00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,279
Of course I don't.
Well, then.
117
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:05,280
Yeah, but I bloody well should be
starring in films people want to see, made by proper directors.
118
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:10,200
Something like...
The King's Speech.
119
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:21,240
I'm not saying you're not good enough
to bag an Academy Award, Toast, I just...
120
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,840
I just... don't think it's ever
possible you'll win one.
121
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:33,239
Because of what I said to
Minnie Driver? Yes.
122
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,159
Cos I told Minnie Driver
she had a big face.
123
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,119
Cos you told Minnie Driver
she has a big face, yes.
124
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,679
She's in Hollywood now.
125
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,199
She has lots of contacts.
She won't forget something like that.
126
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,679
And then the Fassbender debacle.
127
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,360
Oh, everyone knows Fassbender's...
128
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,199
Really, Toast.
129
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,799
Spreading a vile rumour.
130
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:54,279
I saw the photo of a chalet.
131
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,839
He's a major player.
132
00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,200
He could crush you like that.
133
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,839
Now, you're getting paid
a lot for this film.
134
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,559
It means you may not have to do the
television advert for the laxative.
135
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,799
There's no way I'm doing
a laxative ad.
136
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,759
You remember what happened to
Derek Sibling.
137
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,759
No, I don't, actually.
Whatever did happen to Derek Sibling?
138
00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,159
He was very good.
139
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,399
He was,
brightest in his year at RADA.
140
00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,919
Trod out one of the best Henry V's
this fella's ever seen.
141
00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:22,079
All going well for him,
then he bursts onto the television
142
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,479
clutching his guts for a laxative
ad. Then...
143
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,919
good night, sweetheart.
144
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,999
Takes a very brave actor
to promote a laxative.
145
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,279
Money's great.
146
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:35,159
Martin from the agency
would still like to meet you.
147
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,559
Well, you're obviously not keen
but meet him anyway. It'll be very casual.
148
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,519
He's suggested you go bowling
together.
149
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,799
Bowling?
Yes, bowling.
150
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,279
You've got a big, black ball
and you throw it at the skittles.
151
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,280
Skittles?
Yeah, skittles.
152
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,039
They get knocked over and the
mechanical machine puts them back
153
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,839
and then you have another go
at hitting them.
154
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,279
I think you're wrong there, Jane.
I don't think so.
155
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,119
I think you're confusing it
with another game.
156
00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:03,120
I really think you should do this,
Toast. It's just an informal meeting with bowling. No obligation.
157
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:07,640
All right!
158
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,479
What?!
159
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,119
You can't stop for petrol during
a fare, you prat.
160
00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,159
I'm sorry, mate,
I meant to get it earlier.
161
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,839
For fuck's sake.
162
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,840
Hang on, he's not lighting
a cigarette... Right.
163
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,399
You can't smoke around petrol!
164
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,959
The place'll go up
like Worzel Gummidge.
165
00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,959
Oi, you're in that play, ain't ya?
166
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,359
Oh, God! Jesus!
167
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,119
I went to see that play
with a mate of mine.
168
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:37,039
You ought to be a-fucking-shamed
of yourself.
169
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,959
Oi, get back there.
170
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,519
There's no need for the theatre
in this country to descend to that level.
171
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,279
Are you finished?
No, get back.
172
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:48,280
Sex, nudity, bad language -
disgusting!
173
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:52,400
Next time,
I'll put a fucking match to you.
174
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,199
I'll burn your bollocks off!
175
00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:05,200
Good night, sweet prince.
176
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,679
This is awful,
having all your boxes here. When are you going to move them?
177
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:28,879
Well, I'll take some today
but I'll have to hire a van.
178
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,199
Why do you have your name
on all of them? I don't know. They might get lost or something.
179
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:36,159
Well, Ricky is moving in next week so
he won't want all your stuff there.
180
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,559
Yeah, well, Ricky is a cunt.
I beg your pardon?
181
00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:41,159
I said, I think I may have my hat on
back to front.
182
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,079
You don't like Ricky, do you?
183
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,359
Oh, come on, Ellen! He's a builder,
and you're 45th in line for the throne.
184
00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,039
You are such a snob.
185
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,599
I'm a snob and he's a yob.
186
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,279
And you are a knob.
187
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,679
Ricky cares about me. And he's fit.
188
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,999
What?!
He's fit.
189
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,719
What, do you mean he has
a high level of physical fitness?
190
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,679
No, I mean he's good-looking.
191
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,079
Why are you wearing that uniform?
192
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:06,759
It's a costume.
I had to change my clothes. Someone poured petrol on me earlier.
193
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,239
It's cos of that ghastly play
you're in, isn't it?
194
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,999
Well, you should be grateful
I'm working cos you're fleecing me with that divorce settlement.
195
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,039
I'm only getting what I'm due.
196
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,479
Ricky, darling!
197
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,959
Mmmm...
198
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,199
Give us those beers.
I'll put that in the fridge.
199
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,639
Come here, you gorgeous thing.
200
00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,640
Mmm!
201
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:33,200
Ooh!
202
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,959
Oh!
203
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:45,960
Yeah, all right!
204
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,039
Ah, Steven. I'm Martin Aynuss.
205
00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,079
All right.
206
00:10:53,080 --> 00:10:57,080
Hope you don't mind but I also brought
along my assistant, Sheryl Whelk. OK.
207
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,279
You're dressed very smartly.
Have you just stepped ashore?
208
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,719
It's a costume.
Someone poured petrol on me earlier.
209
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,759
All right. Would you like to start?
210
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,760
Yeah, let's not toss for it
or any of that bullshit.
211
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,479
I've not played in a while -
somebody must have changed the rules.
212
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,359
What are those things at the end?
213
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,439
They're skittles.
214
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,319
Why are there skittles?
215
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,239
And shouldn't I be stood on grass?
216
00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:40,240
I think what may have happened here is
you've confused tenpin bowling with bowls.
217
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,519
OK. It's just a bigger ball,
that's all.
218
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:47,520
If you want to roll this one towards the skittles
down the end of the lane, give that a go.
219
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,880
I presume it's underarm?
220
00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:08,440
More like that?
221
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,359
Oof!
222
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:28,457
Shit.
223
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,879
24, take 4.
224
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,399
Start acting.
225
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:44,039
There's something very
dodgy going on here.
226
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:45,839
Which is your real name?
227
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,759
Prince Philip or the Duke of
Edinburgh?
228
00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:51,959
I say, this is rather
unsatisfactory.
229
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,679
For most people one name is
enough, but not for you.
230
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,399
How dare you!
231
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,599
Look, Duke, we all know you're the
murderer.
232
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,600
Your life of privilege and being carried
around by servants won't save you now.
233
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,640
Casual racism is one thing,
but this time you've bitten off more than you can chew.
234
00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,079
Are you finished with my
husband?
235
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:18,080
Get her out of here.
236
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,800
Uptight, uncomfortable,
self-conscious.
237
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,879
They say you're the perfect man to
front their Lax-A-Daisy campaign.
238
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,679
I'm not doing it.
Such a shame.
239
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:34,680
You play constipation so beautifully.
They really want you.
240
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,439
Who else did they ask?
Portillo?
241
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,559
Portillo, yes.
Obvious choice.
242
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,959
He turned them down, he's off doing
his train journeys.
243
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,199
You're not going to trap me
into this, Jane.
244
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,879
I'm not going to advertise
laxatives.
245
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,039
Remember Derek Sibling?
246
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,999
Yes, Derek Sibling!
Now, he was very good.
247
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,759
Brightest in his year at RADA.
248
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,759
Trod out one of the best Henry V's
this fella's ever seen.
249
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,439
All going well for him
250
00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,839
and he bursts onto the TV clutching
his guts advertising laxatives.
251
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,840
Then...
252
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,759
good night, sweetheart.
253
00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,519
All right, I'll let them know.
254
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,959
Anyway, I don't need the money.
255
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:12,879
I've got that film thing.
Last day tomorrow.
256
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,559
Can't wait to lodge that big fat
cheque
257
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,479
in Barclays at Fitzroy
Square, oh, yeah!
258
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,679
Aah, ya...!
259
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,559
Toast?
260
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:28,560
Toast?
261
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,399
I think it's safe to say, Mr Fasili,
262
00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:44,159
that justice is being done here
today.
263
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,439
Yes, Inspector Cavendish.
264
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,639
He has paid the full price for
murder.
265
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,079
I'm not surprised...
266
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:53,959
Also for standing in the way
of my British citizenship.
267
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,839
The fiend is surely getting
what he so richly deserves.
268
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,039
Look at him!
269
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:02,439
Die in a cowardly fashion,
like a dog!
270
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,119
I'm not surprised to see him
271
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:07,919
begging for his life in such a
pathetic, unmannerly manner.
272
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,639
The Royal Family has no place in
modern British society.
273
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,559
I spit on them.
274
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:15,039
I admire you for saying so,
Mr Fasili.
275
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:19,040
They are a bunch of
no-good, cheap bastards.
276
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,800
Bravo!
277
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,480
Bravo!
278
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:44,120
This whole scene is
beneath me
279
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,760
I'll rise above what's not
good enough
280
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:57,400
Remove myself and politely
281
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,759
Decline
282
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,760
It strains upon my heart
283
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:11,680
This whole life is beneath me
284
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:18,120
I'll rise above what's not
good enough
285
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:24,840
Remove myself and politely
286
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,039
Decline
287
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:34,040
It strains upon my heart.
288
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:11,799
I'm glad that we compromised
on the word "bastards".
289
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,079
"Cocksuckers" didn't seem right, not
for the entire Royal Family.
290
00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,079
I mean, Princess Michael of
Kent...
291
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,639
Well...
292
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:22,640
It's a pity you missed the Benedict
Cumberbatch scenes. He was... sublime.
293
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,759
Who?
294
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,319
I do so love champagne,
don't you?
295
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,439
Yes, er, Mr Fasili,
I wonder if I could ask you -
296
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,959
when will I receive payment?
297
00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:32,079
Now.
298
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,639
You have the cheque?
299
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,039
Yes.
Ah, could I...?
300
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:40,040
I just need to sign it.
Do you have a pen?
301
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:41,959
No.
302
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,519
You are in rather a hurry.
303
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:47,520
I'm in the middle of an acrimonious divorce
settlement. I completely understand.
304
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:51,479
I have a pen in my office,
I shall sign it immediately.
305
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:52,559
After all,
306
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,560
you are the man who brought
Prince Philip to justice.
307
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,680
I shall be back in a minute. Help
yourself to more champagne, Toast.
308
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,119
Oh, God.
309
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,759
Out of my way, come on!
310
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,879
Mr Fasili, where are you?
311
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,199
Did you sign the cheque?
312
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,519
You there! Did you see him sign the
cheque before he fell overboard?
313
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,399
Did you see him sign the
cheque?
314
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:33,400
Oh, God. Damn you to hell!
315
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,559
It mentions the film.
316
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:39,559
It says it may now never get
released.
317
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:41,119
Oh, I don't mind that so much.
318
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,759
It's not being paid the 60,000.
It's not being paid the 60,000.
319
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:45,879
Jane's going to look into it,
but she's not hopeful.
320
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,199
It seems he owes millions.
321
00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,119
It's funny how these things always
surface after someone dies.
322
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,639
Someone who won't be surfacing is
Fasili. He weighed a tonne.
323
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,640
Sank like a stone. Apparently, he had
an extra-large life buoy in case he fell overboard.
324
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,759
He managed to squeeze
into that but still sank,
325
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,199
dragged the life buoy down with him.
Really? I'd have thought that impossible.
326
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,679
But there again, he was
fucking huge. Mm.
327
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,119
The thing is, Ellen's been pestering
me for that divorce settlement money.
328
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,879
Ah, tough times, Toast,
329
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,880
but I'm sure you have absolutely
nothing to be worried about.
330
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,439
You better sort that cash out
as soon as possible.
331
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:23,119
Who are you again? Cos I don't
recognise you from my wife's legal team!
332
00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,359
Never mind who we are,
you'd better pay up!
333
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:27,439
You're not connected to
Ricky, are you?
334
00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:28,639
No.
335
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,199
It's just that I saw you
jump out of his van.
336
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,679
No.
337
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:36,680
We don't know anyone called
Ricky.
338
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:38,799
Hang on?
339
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,999
You're in that play, ain't ya?
What?
340
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,639
Remember that play we went
to with Dave?
341
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,759
Young Simon here, first time he's
ever been to the theatre
342
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,599
and sees that load of rubbish! You may
have put him off the theatre for life!
343
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:51,799
Pinter, Stoppard, David Hare!
344
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,639
He's never going to give 'em a
chance.
345
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,799
Well, there's been extensive
rewrites.
346
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,919
By Ben Elton.
347
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,679
I should give you a bloody good
hiding just for that play alone,
348
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,679
but if you don't sort that
wonga out,
349
00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:04,199
Ben Elton will be rewriting
your bloody obituary!
350
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,879
So you better get that money,
right?
351
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,959
Doesn't matter how, just get
that money!
352
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,759
Ye-e-es.
353
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,359
Put constipation behind you.
354
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:18,360
New formula Lax-A-Daisy restores
your body's regularity
355
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:24,440
so that you can work and relax every
day without anxiety.
356
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,720
Lax-A-Daisy doesn't cause
excess gas or dizziness.
357
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,760
It just lets you step back
into the natural rhythm of life.
358
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,399
Yes, very good, Steven.
Bravo.
359
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,239
I wasn't sure about
the wig at first, but it works.
360
00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,439
May I introduce you to Howard Bugowitz,
chairman of Lax-A-Daisy in New York.
361
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:55,679
My God, that was terrific!
362
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,680
Everyone at Cartwright and
Aynuss is very pleased.
363
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,839
We'd like to sign you up for a long-term
contract to be the face of Lax-A-Daisy
364
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,479
for the next five years.
365
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,359
Well, that's tremendous news.
366
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:08,799
Maybe we could even make it
ten years.
367
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:11,039
We can talk figures on
Monday, Jane. Perfect.
368
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,519
I'm sure Martin will make us
a very generous offer, Toast.
369
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,479
I don't want to talk about this
now. I've got to rush off and do my play.
370
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,119
Whoa! No, no, no. Come upstairs!
We're going to have a bit of a party.
371
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:24,039
No. Last party I went to,
someone drowned.
372
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,279
Come on, we can share the
taxi. Yes.
373
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,079
Talk Monday.
374
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:33,080
Great casting, Marty. That guy
really has a bung up his ass.
375
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,799
Anyone could have played
that role.
376
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,639
No, no, no, you were perfect.
377
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,319
It's a bloody long way from
The King's Speech.
378
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,119
Pull over here, please.
379
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:47,399
Yeah. I don't have any cash,
Toast.
380
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,400
Oh, for Pete's sake, Jane!
381
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,359
There's an extra 20 to take
her home.
382
00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,759
Oh, dear, I think he's died.
383
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:01,799
Does anybody know anything
about him?
384
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,879
Let me through.
385
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:07,279
Yes, I know him, though I haven't
seen him in some time.
386
00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:10,639
It's the actor Derek Sibling.
387
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:13,639
The brightest in his year at
RADA.
388
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,599
Trod out one of the best Henry V's
this fella's ever seen.
389
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:20,600
All going well for him, then he bursts
onto the television clutching his guts
390
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,159
in a laxative ad.
391
00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,279
Then...
392
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,280
good night, sweetheart.
393
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,079
Sorry I'm late, Charlotte. There was
an incident outside.
394
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,279
A tramp dead on the pavement. I knew
him, actually, Derek Sibling.
395
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,519
Derek Sibling the actor?
Yes.
396
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,319
Wasn't he supposed to be
very good?
397
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,719
Very good?
398
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,919
Brightest in his year at RADA.
Trod out one of the best...
399
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:51,079
I won't bore you with the
detail.
400
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,399
Promising career cut short
by one fatal decision.
401
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,199
Oh? A strangely fitting grand
finale, you might say.
402
00:22:57,200 --> 00:22:58,999
What do you mean, Mr Toast?
403
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,160
He shat himself.
404
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:05,589
That man is shit!
405
00:23:05,614 --> 00:23:32,948
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
406
00:23:32,998 --> 00:23:37,548
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31693
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
