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1
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,640
Oh, you folks are going to have to move.
2
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:09,530
This is our table.
3
00:00:09,530 --> 00:00:10,490
How's that?
4
00:00:10,490 --> 00:00:12,450
We put the ketchups there.
5
00:00:12,450 --> 00:00:15,090
You think you can hold
a table with condiments?
6
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,400
That is just adorable.
7
00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,310
Um, we have our children here.
8
00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:24,420
Well, I guess the whole
family learned a lesson.
9
00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:29,320
All right, let's go
order, babe. What do you want?
10
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,720
- The usual.
- All right.
11
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,050
Oh, god.
12
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:35,260
What?
13
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,290
That's lucas bender over there.
14
00:00:37,290 --> 00:00:40,120
He's the vice_ principal
of a snooty private school.
15
00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:44,110
He lured away our drama teacher
with the promise of a fog machine.
16
00:00:44,810 --> 00:00:46,650
I hate that pretentious little...
17
00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:48,570
- hey!
- Hey!
18
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:49,930
Big guy!
19
00:00:50,980 --> 00:00:53,200
What are you doing
here, public_ school guy? Huh?
20
00:00:53,610 --> 00:00:55,860
Shouldn't you be figuring out
a way to tell the kids there
21
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:57,570
isn't going to be any more music class?
22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:03,670
Oh, anyway... who is this beauty?
23
00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:06,370
Hi. I'm steph, jeff's wife.
24
00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:08,510
Are you guys doing a bit?
25
00:01:08,510 --> 00:01:12,200
Because one of these things
is not like the other.
26
00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:14,480
What are you saying?
27
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,080
I think he's saying i'm
better_ looking than you.
28
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,370
I know what he's saying. I get it.
29
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,470
Lucas bender, vice_principal
30
00:01:21,470 --> 00:01:26,030
circle of learning and scholastic
study for youth,A. K. A.,Classy.
31
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,280
Ok. Good talk.
32
00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:32,210
Hey, by the way,I'm starting
a faculty basketball league,
33
00:01:32,210 --> 00:01:35,880
and I was hoping you and your pear_ shaped
colleagues at churchill wanted to play.
34
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,410
I mean, of course, if the $25 sign_
up fee isn't too steep for you.
35
00:01:40,460 --> 00:01:42,510
I have a discretionary fund.
36
00:01:43,110 --> 00:01:44,920
I can move some things around.
37
00:01:45,810 --> 00:01:49,090
That's great. Then I'll pencil you in
to play us first game of the season.
38
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,410
Ok? We provide refs and water and special
lockers for your bonnets and sun dresses. Oh!
39
00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,550
See? That's funny because I'm
saying you play like girls.
40
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,520
Well, I think we'll be all right.
Why don't you look behind you?
41
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,990
Say hello to eddie stark, the tallest
history teacher in the contiguous 48 states.
42
00:02:07,670 --> 00:02:12,200
Guilty as charged. It's all there on
the recorded but unaired segment on npr.
43
00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:15,850
So, you work at churchill, huh?
44
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:18,200
So I don't know what your
situation is over there,...
45
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,140
but I would love to take
you to dinner so we can talk.
46
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:25,150
Ok. I'm a little behind here.
Why is this guy hitting on me?
47
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,800
He's the guy whose ass you and jeff are
going to kick in the faculty basketball game.
48
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,860
Oh, eddie is great at basketball.
49
00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:36,580
His nickname was drano because he could
drain it from anywhere on the floor.
50
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,600
Go on. Tell them.
51
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,670
Well, I just took what god gave
me, mixed it in with a little hard work,
52
00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:43,210
and the results are pretty spectacular.
53
00:02:43,210 --> 00:02:44,570
Ha ha.
54
00:02:44,570 --> 00:02:48,100
And, uh... who is
this little snack cake?
55
00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:54,180
I'm joy.
56
00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,160
Pull yourself together, huh?
57
00:02:58,570 --> 00:03:02,280
- =Www. Ydy. Com/bbs=-
proudly presents
58
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:10,880
sync:YTET-cflily
- =www. Ydy. Com/bbs=-
59
00:03:11,370 --> 00:03:16,950
TIL DAETH
Season 02 Episode 03
60
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:24,400
"Till death" is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.
61
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:30,500
Gentlemen, our opponents this
week call themselves classy.
62
00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,970
Here's what they really are.
63
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:36,500
ASSY
64
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,780
"Assy" doesn't make you guys laugh?
65
00:03:44,770 --> 00:03:46,810
What are you, dead inside?
66
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:50,840
Hey, what's up, superstars! Huh? Ooh.
67
00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:56,440
All right, should we practice or cut right
to the incredibly uncomfortable group shower?
68
00:03:57,740 --> 00:04:00,010
All right. My franchise is here.
69
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:03,620
Now,I'm going to make our game
strategy real easy to remember_ _
70
00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:08,240
get the ball to tall. Ok?
71
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:10,250
All right.
72
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,350
Lay_ up lines. Let's do it!
73
00:04:14,260 --> 00:04:16,990
All right. I have a little
warm_ up thing i do on my own.
74
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:20,960
It's a strict stretching regimen
that I learned from a doctor once_ _
75
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,000
dr. J.
76
00:04:23,700 --> 00:04:25,250
You do what you got to do, big man.
77
00:04:25,250 --> 00:04:28,050
All right! Let's get
this party started!
78
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,580
Son of a_ _ aah!
79
00:04:30,580 --> 00:04:32,750
Aah!
80
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:36,210
- Easy.
- Ok. We're almost there.
81
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,640
10 more steps.
82
00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,990
Jeff, are you doing
anything over there at all?
83
00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:42,360
I'm trying, but everything
i grab has hair on it.
84
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,650
Oh!
85
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,470
No, easy, easy.
86
00:04:45,470 --> 00:04:48,090
It's the hammy again. She's
screaming at me. Cut it off!
87
00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:50,130
Just cut it off!
88
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:53,120
All right.
89
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,370
This is ok. It's just a game.
90
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:59,660
Eddie, the important thing is that
you rest and take time to heal.
91
00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,830
We'll be fine without you.
92
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:06,200
Heal, damn it! Heal! Take
the pain! Put it in me!
93
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,740
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't
even touch me that way.
94
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:18,270
Feel better, eddie.
95
00:05:18,270 --> 00:05:20,870
Sorry jeff touched your junk.
96
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:52,480
Oh, my leg! Why would I use my bad leg?
97
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,240
That was a stupid call!
98
00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:58,820
Help. Help.
99
00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:00,870
Eddie, what's going on?
100
00:06:03,410 --> 00:06:04,580
I faked my injury.
101
00:06:04,580 --> 00:06:06,460
Yeah, I got that.
102
00:06:06,940 --> 00:06:08,520
Why?
103
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,500
I can't tell you.
104
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,370
It's too embarrassing.
105
00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:16,850
Come on, eddie. Lower the walls.
106
00:06:16,850 --> 00:06:20,490
It's me... steph.
107
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,410
I barely know you. The other
day, I called you sabrina.
108
00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:27,380
You have to tell me.
109
00:06:28,770 --> 00:06:30,720
All right.
110
00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:34,570
I... I've never said
this out loud before.
111
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:40,340
I'm bad at basketball.
Don't look at me. Look away.
112
00:06:42,410 --> 00:06:46,170
How could you be bad at
basketball? You're so tall.
113
00:06:46,170 --> 00:06:51,100
Yeah. See, there it is. And that's what
I've been dealing with my whole life.
114
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:55,170
Because just assume because I'm 6' 8" that
I would be great at ball. Ok? Well,I'm not.
115
00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:57,890
Do you know what it's like living
under that kind of pressure?
116
00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:02,480
People constantly calling you "big
man" when you feel so small inside?
117
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:10,790
Eddie, with all due respect, I think you're
blowing this way out of proportion.
118
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:13,390
I don't think anybody else
really cares that much.
119
00:07:13,390 --> 00:07:18,280
Oh? Do you know that that is the only
reason why joy and i got together?
120
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:19,140
What?
121
00:07:19,140 --> 00:07:25,540
Our first date was awful_ _
bad food, stilted conversation.
122
00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:28,830
At one point, I sneezed, and
a small fart came out.
123
00:07:33,790 --> 00:07:35,820
Anyway, I thought i would
never see her again.
124
00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:39,210
And then she saw my high school
yearbook, and she started going through it,
125
00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:41,720
and she saw the picture of
me on the basketball team,
126
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,960
and I start making up these crazy stories, that
I took the school to 2 state finals.
127
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:50,110
And the truth is, the
coach never played me.
128
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,510
And shortly after that....
129
00:07:53,930 --> 00:07:56,050
we did the nasty.
130
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,830
You and the coach?
131
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:10,280
No. Me and joy.
132
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:13,240
Eddie, how could you lie
like that to your own wife?
133
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,310
I didn't know that she
would end up being the one.
134
00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:19,480
I mean, at that point, she was just
a cute french major with big cans.
135
00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:22,730
- Eddie!
- What? I'm a guy.
136
00:08:22,730 --> 00:08:26,130
A week before, I told some girl that
I was training to be an astronaut.
137
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,310
If I married her,I'd be sitting
in a space suit right now.
138
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,860
Eddie, you have to tell joy.
139
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,720
She loves you. She'll
accept you for who you are.
140
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,680
No,I... I couldn'T.
141
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,750
You're faking injuries, lying
to the people you love.
142
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:45,320
How long are you going to
run away from the truth?
143
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,460
I'm so tired.
144
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,670
No more secrets, big man.
145
00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,290
I'm about to set you free.
146
00:09:10,610 --> 00:09:11,550
Hey.
147
00:09:11,550 --> 00:09:13,570
Hey. You're in your gym clothes.
148
00:09:13,570 --> 00:09:19,030
Yeah. I was going to stop by on the way home
from work and do some cardio, but then I didn'T.
149
00:09:20,430 --> 00:09:22,460
What you looking at, your old yearbook?
150
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:24,000
Yeah.
151
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,330
Oh. Look at you.
152
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:29,050
"The legend of drano.
153
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,560
"You were a man among boys.
154
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:35,690
Seriously, look at this guy. He
looks like he's 10 years old.
155
00:09:35,690 --> 00:09:38,730
Not in the locker room, he didn'T.
156
00:09:49,060 --> 00:09:50,980
You know, uh...
157
00:09:50,980 --> 00:09:54,830
it's funny how someone's appearance
makes you assume something
158
00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:57,530
about them that really isn't true.
159
00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:02,050
Look, I didn't go to the
gym, ok? Get off my back.
160
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:06,960
No. Honey...
161
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,550
sit. Sit down for me.
162
00:10:08,550 --> 00:10:14,910
I... I need to talk to you
about the game on saturday.
163
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:18,850
Oh, I forgot to tell you. I
invited the girls from the office.
164
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,580
You did?
165
00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,120
Yeah. I guess I'm
just... I'm so excited.
166
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,620
This is the first time i'm ever
going to see you actually play.
167
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:30,330
That can't be.
168
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,830
Yes. Yeah, it's true.
169
00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:37,210
There was the one time that you were
going to play in the family picnic,
170
00:10:37,210 --> 00:10:40,110
and you accidentally threw
the ball into the lake.
171
00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:41,720
- You remember that?
- Uh_ huh. Yep.
172
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,320
And then... and the other time was
we were walking through the park,
173
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,590
and those guys asked you to
play in the pickup game, remember?
174
00:10:48,590 --> 00:10:50,360
And you had a seizure.
175
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,170
Yeah.
176
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,650
That was A... it was a
scary time. It was a scary_ _
177
00:10:59,650 --> 00:11:02,150
listen,I, um...
178
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,120
I need to tell you something.
179
00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,560
My god. You are cute in those shorts.
180
00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:10,330
I am?
181
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,230
Yeah.
182
00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:15,720
I mean, look at that young, taut body.
183
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:19,040
I got to tell you, if
I knew you back then,
184
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:23,030
I would have taken you under the
bleachers, and I would have rocked your world.
185
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:24,890
Well, well.
186
00:11:24,890 --> 00:11:31,960
I would have rocked your world
because I was so good at basketball.
187
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,170
All right. Well, you know
what? You go to hell!
188
00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:42,010
Who was that?
189
00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:44,020
The school librarian.
190
00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:47,420
She's 6' 2", but she
won't play in the games.
191
00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:51,140
Something about her
grandkids and blah, blah, blah.
192
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:55,640
Oh, um,steph... a quick question.
193
00:11:55,940 --> 00:12:02,300
Hypothetically, if I were to lose a bet
to a vice_principal from another school
194
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,740
and you had to, say, dance in a bikini
195
00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:08,540
while he hosed you down
on the roof of his condo...
196
00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:13,270
is that something we
could... bounce back from?
197
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:18,590
I'm gonna make a phone call.
198
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:24,180
I tried. I tried, but I can't tell her.
199
00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,200
What?
200
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,020
Yeah. I've got to play in
the game now on saturday.
201
00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:30,730
And to make matters worse, she's
bringing the hens from her office.
202
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,490
They already know about my occasional
deficiencies as a morning lover and now this.
203
00:12:37,770 --> 00:12:41,500
What if you were dancing in a one_
piece and it was not in his condo? Huh?
204
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:43,530
Oh, eddie. Are you ok?
205
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,900
I am great. I am back in the game.
206
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,290
Bet's back on!
207
00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:50,190
Get ready to lose your moped, douche.
208
00:12:50,710 --> 00:12:54,630
I'm screwed. I'm a fraud.
I am milli and/or vanilli.
209
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,830
Which one was the tall one?
210
00:12:57,830 --> 00:12:59,940
I don't know. I wasn't alive then.
211
00:13:05,170 --> 00:13:08,010
Ok, I know you're in a tough
spot, but I thincan help.
212
00:13:08,010 --> 00:13:11,930
I played basketball in high school
until I gave it up to smoke cigarettes.
213
00:13:12,540 --> 00:13:15,680
All I need to do is teach you one move.
214
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:18,000
Really? You think you can do that?
215
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,630
I know I can.
216
00:13:19,630 --> 00:13:21,220
Ok. Here we go.
217
00:13:21,220 --> 00:13:22,390
Ok.
218
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,410
I really appreciate this.
219
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:29,590
All right. Shake it off.
220
00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:30,770
Yep.
221
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:32,880
Ooh!
222
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,950
Ok. All right. One more time.
Do it again. Do it again.
223
00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:37,610
This is the one? All right.
224
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,490
Ok. Oh, god.
225
00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:46,490
This is ridiculous.
You're, like, this far away.
226
00:13:46,490 --> 00:13:49,870
It just doesn't feel normal. But you
know what? Maybe I'm right_ handed.
227
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,670
You've been using your right hand.
228
00:13:51,670 --> 00:13:53,090
Maybe I'm left_ handed.
229
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:54,310
You don't know which hand you are?
230
00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:56,870
Oh, my god! Maybe i'm not handed!
231
00:13:57,540 --> 00:14:00,780
Joy's going to find me out. Jeff
is making bets based on my talent.
232
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,780
Everything is piling up on me!
233
00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:05,290
And the game is tomorrow!
What am I going to do?
234
00:14:07,110 --> 00:14:09,080
You're pretty boned, dude.
235
00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:37,980
Get in the basket, you
round orange son of a bitch.
236
00:14:38,490 --> 00:14:40,070
- Eddie.
- Hey.
237
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,030
What the hell is going on?
It's the middle of the night.
238
00:14:44,030 --> 00:14:47,710
Yeah, well, I told myself around 10:00
that I would just keep shooting
239
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:49,680
until I made a thousand shots.
240
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,920
That was hours ago.
How many have you made?
241
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,950
Sixish.
242
00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:58,920
All right. Well, will you keep it down?
I'm looking at a really rough morning.
243
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,820
My midnight snack took a weird
turn from a bowl of cap'n crunch
244
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,760
to a bottle of chardonnay.
245
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,670
Good night.
246
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,630
Joy.
247
00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:14,010
I'm not a good basketball player.
248
00:15:14,460 --> 00:15:18,170
Well, you're a little rusty. It's a
faculty game. Come on. You'll be fine.
249
00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:22,500
No, no,no, you don't understand. I've
never been a good basketball player.
250
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:26,170
What about the yearbook
picture? They called you drano.
251
00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:29,000
Well, they didn't call me that
because I could shoot, ok?
252
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,940
One time before a game, I threw
up into the water fountain,
253
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:35,640
and it took them 3 bottles of
drano to clean that thing out.
254
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,690
That's disgusting.
255
00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:41,390
What the hell is going on here?
256
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:44,360
Why wod you lie to me
after all these years?
257
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,880
Because I had to.
258
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,250
What are you talking about?
259
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,800
All right. Do you
remember our first date?
260
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:53,870
The only reason you didn't walk out on me that night
is because you saw icture on the basketball team.
261
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:57,210
That's not true. I liked
other stuff about you.
262
00:15:57,210 --> 00:16:00,040
Yeah? Well, what other stuff?
263
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:03,320
Stuff.
264
00:16:04,980 --> 00:16:07,280
Shut up. I married you, didn't I?
265
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:12,850
Yeah, you married big, tall
eddie, the basketball superstar.
266
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:17,660
Hey, well, it was my lie that got us here
today. So you can't be mad at me about that.
267
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,340
I'm not.
268
00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:22,410
Men have told bigger lies than
that to get a ticket on this ride.
269
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:26,890
What I am pissed about is that
you feel that after 20 years,
270
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:31,410
you need to keep secrets from
me, especially about basketball.
271
00:16:31,410 --> 00:16:33,450
I mean, what did you think
that I was going to say?
272
00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:37,030
"My 45_ year_ old husband
can't dunk. I want a divorce!
273
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,650
"I once missed an exit on the
expressway, and you almost beheaded me.
274
00:16:42,650 --> 00:16:44,630
You run hot and cold.
275
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:50,450
Eddie, if I were going to make a list
of reasons why i would leave you,
276
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:56,400
your lack of basketball skills would
run a distant third to your wardrobe
277
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,870
and the way you...
278
00:17:00,490 --> 00:17:02,530
In the shower.
279
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:06,860
I have a deviated septum.
280
00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:11,590
I'm sorry, but I guess everything just has
been building up in my head for so long.
281
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,270
You know, I never told
anyone this, but...
282
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:21,070
when allison was born, I was so
relieved that she was a girl
283
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:24,460
because i couldn't imagine how
I was going to relate to a boy
284
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:26,940
without being able to
play all those sports.
285
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,200
I... I was so scared.
286
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:34,290
Baby, you're a giant...
287
00:17:34,710 --> 00:17:38,800
awkward, oddly beautiful man,
288
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:41,790
and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
289
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,640
So you really don't care
that I can't play basketball?
290
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,740
I SO REAL DON`T CARE
291
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:56,810
I FEEL SO LIGHT SO FREE
292
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,650
I'm tall, and I can't play ball.
293
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:04,770
I'm tall, and i can't play ball!
294
00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:06,530
Shut up!
295
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:08,700
Sorry.
296
00:18:09,190 --> 00:18:13,270
Hey. And the good news
is you can stop lying.
297
00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:17,620
You don't ever, ever have to play
basketball again in your life.
298
00:18:17,620 --> 00:18:21,580
Oh, no,joy. I'm going
to play one more time.
299
00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:25,800
And the world will know my secret.
300
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,040
Yay, eddie!
301
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,170
Eddie stark. I really suck.
302
00:18:40,970 --> 00:18:43,820
Don't let the height fool you.
I'm the worst player out here.
303
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:45,660
You're going down.
304
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:47,050
You know it, mister.
305
00:18:47,050 --> 00:18:48,670
Believe it or not,
306
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,000
I'm walking on air
307
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:55,480
I never thought i coulfeel so free
308
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:59,560
flying away on a wing and a prayer
309
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,690
who could it be?
310
00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:07,590
Believe it or not, it's just me wow.
311
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,890
He's worse than I imagined.
312
00:19:25,890 --> 00:19:28,510
The sad thing is
he's actually improved.
313
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,110
I'll be right back.
314
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,560
Excuse me.
315
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,150
Believe it or not,
316
00:19:38,150 --> 00:19:40,350
I'm walking on air
317
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:44,940
I never thought i could feel so free
318
00:19:44,940 --> 00:19:49,230
flying away on a wing and a prayer
319
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:52,740
who could it be?
320
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,470
Believe it or not, it's just me
321
00:19:55,470 --> 00:19:57,780
Fire alarm! The game's over!
322
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:05,180
Where's everybody going? I
was just getting warmed up.
323
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:06,700
Come on!
324
00:20:13,770 --> 00:20:14,920
Hey, thanks for coming tonight.
325
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,660
I wouldn't have missed it.
326
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:18,720
You're the one who pulled
that fire alarm, aren't you?
327
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,560
Yes.
328
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:23,640
I think it's great that you showed
the world who you really are,
329
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:27,570
but at a certain point, the
world had had enough.
330
00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:37,330
Ha! I made it! It went in!
331
00:20:37,330 --> 00:20:39,380
It went in! It went in!
332
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:41,330
Sure it did, babe.
333
00:20:41,860 --> 00:20:44,720
It went in. It went in!
334
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,720
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335
00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:51,320
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