Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,906 --> 00:00:04,575
Son. Why have you been
eating my Fruity Puffs?
2
00:00:05,438 --> 00:00:07,188
What Fruity Puffs?
3
00:00:07,213 --> 00:00:09,845
Mom doesn't let you have
those sugar cereals anymore.
4
00:00:09,870 --> 00:00:11,353
"Let me have"?
5
00:00:11,451 --> 00:00:13,824
Nobody lets me have anything.
6
00:00:13,849 --> 00:00:15,571
I'm not scared of your mama.
7
00:00:15,595 --> 00:00:17,133
Okay. Well, I didn't
see any Fruity Puffs
8
00:00:17,158 --> 00:00:19,870
- in that cabinet.
- I know, 'cause I hid 'em here.
9
00:00:22,287 --> 00:00:25,148
Okay, I see. S-So Mom's going
out of town for the weekend,
10
00:00:25,173 --> 00:00:27,386
you just gonna do whatever
you want to, huh?
11
00:00:27,411 --> 00:00:28,930
You know, son, you don't understand
12
00:00:28,955 --> 00:00:30,806
what it's like to be
the man of the house.
13
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:32,156
You're always worried
14
00:00:32,181 --> 00:00:33,195
about other people's needs.
15
00:00:33,220 --> 00:00:35,080
It's never really about you.
16
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,130
But with your mother going
to Vegas overnight,
17
00:00:38,155 --> 00:00:42,724
the rest of this weekend
is about me and only me.
18
00:00:42,749 --> 00:00:44,996
Well, excuse me, Pop,
19
00:00:45,021 --> 00:00:47,657
- but I will still be here.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:47,865 --> 00:00:49,781
But I don't care about your needs.
21
00:00:50,445 --> 00:00:52,810
- Calvin!
- Mm.
22
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,695
Yeah, babe.
23
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,220
Hey, baby. Can you do me a favor
24
00:00:56,245 --> 00:00:58,297
- and take these to the car?
- Damn, Tina.
25
00:00:58,322 --> 00:00:59,571
You're only going away for one night.
26
00:00:59,596 --> 00:01:00,961
Why do you need three bags?
27
00:01:01,765 --> 00:01:03,362
Well, this one is for my clothes,
28
00:01:03,387 --> 00:01:05,031
this one is for hair and makeup,
29
00:01:05,056 --> 00:01:06,288
and this one is empty.
30
00:01:06,313 --> 00:01:08,254
Mama's going shopping.
31
00:01:09,711 --> 00:01:12,700
And what else do you and Gemma
have planned for Vegas?
32
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:15,778
Baby, how about you don't
ask me about my plans,
33
00:01:15,803 --> 00:01:18,220
and I won't ask you about
that box of Fruity Puffs
34
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,367
that you got hiding
behind my cookbooks.
35
00:01:22,399 --> 00:01:24,177
- Have a great trip.
- Okay.
36
00:01:25,159 --> 00:01:26,739
I'm so excited!
37
00:01:26,764 --> 00:01:28,756
Tina and I are gonna have so much fun.
38
00:01:28,781 --> 00:01:30,861
I know, your first girls' trip.
39
00:01:30,976 --> 00:01:32,390
Man, I wish I could go.
40
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,489
Okay, but then it wouldn't be
41
00:01:34,514 --> 00:01:36,701
much of a girls' trip,
would it, sweetie?
42
00:01:36,726 --> 00:01:40,139
I know, but I really feel like
I could add to the experience.
43
00:01:40,164 --> 00:01:41,706
Like you two are Thelma and Louise
44
00:01:41,731 --> 00:01:43,334
and I'm Brad Pitt.
45
00:01:44,812 --> 00:01:46,224
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
46
00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:47,448
So, what do you say, Gemma?
47
00:01:47,473 --> 00:01:49,267
You ready to have some fun?
48
00:01:49,292 --> 00:01:50,968
- You know it, girl!
- Yeah!
49
00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,367
What do you say, Calvin?
50
00:01:52,392 --> 00:01:54,328
You ready to have some fun, too?
51
00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,687
I got to load the bags, Dave.
52
00:02:00,130 --> 00:02:01,604
This one feels empty.
53
00:02:01,629 --> 00:02:03,445
Maybe I should climb in and stow away.
54
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:06,188
Hey, that's a good idea.
'Cause you know what they say:
55
00:02:06,305 --> 00:02:08,904
what goes to Vegas stays in Vegas.
56
00:02:13,070 --> 00:02:18,398
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
57
00:02:33,694 --> 00:02:36,587
♪ Hey, girl... ♪
58
00:02:36,930 --> 00:02:39,741
Aw, that takes me back to
my player days right there.
59
00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:42,679
Tina lucky she locked me down.
60
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,791
♪ Hey, boy... ♪
61
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,683
It's good to be the king.
62
00:02:47,381 --> 00:02:49,258
I thought all kings wore robes.
63
00:02:49,283 --> 00:02:50,953
Well, they do.
64
00:02:50,978 --> 00:02:53,858
But I needed to let the
royal jewels breathe.
65
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,365
Hey, man.
66
00:02:56,464 --> 00:02:58,588
So, this is how you're
fulfilling your needs
67
00:02:58,613 --> 00:02:59,449
for the weekend, huh?
68
00:02:59,484 --> 00:03:02,301
Sitting in your underwear,
listening to oldies,
69
00:03:02,326 --> 00:03:04,055
and giving yourself diabetes?
70
00:03:04,326 --> 00:03:06,283
It's pretty cool, right?
71
00:03:06,598 --> 00:03:08,372
You know what would
be pretty cool, Pop,
72
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:10,780
is if you ordered the
pay-per-view fight for tonight.
73
00:03:10,805 --> 00:03:13,443
Posley versus Camargo.
Supposed to be a good one.
74
00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:16,345
But then I would be fulfilling
your needs as well as mine.
75
00:03:16,876 --> 00:03:18,381
Aw, what the hell.
76
00:03:18,406 --> 00:03:19,711
I'm a benevolent king.
77
00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:22,414
Okay, well, I'll let Marty know.
78
00:03:22,439 --> 00:03:24,118
Good. We'll make it a guys' night.
79
00:03:24,143 --> 00:03:25,392
All right. Well, I'll invite Dave.
80
00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,149
Now, hold on a second, now.
81
00:03:27,699 --> 00:03:29,212
What? How come?
82
00:03:29,345 --> 00:03:31,759
'Cause Dave is not the kind of guy
83
00:03:31,784 --> 00:03:34,134
you invite over for guys' night.
84
00:03:34,337 --> 00:03:35,756
I mean, now,
85
00:03:35,781 --> 00:03:38,092
we were having a men's
brunch with a wine tasting?
86
00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:40,232
All right, look, Pop, I know
87
00:03:40,257 --> 00:03:42,306
Dave is not your typical kind of dude,
88
00:03:42,331 --> 00:03:44,365
but if you ask me, Dave is a man.
89
00:03:44,681 --> 00:03:45,963
I know.
90
00:03:45,988 --> 00:03:47,626
That's why I don't ask you.
91
00:03:48,091 --> 00:03:49,352
Look, come on, Pop.
92
00:03:49,377 --> 00:03:52,492
He is a good husband and father
who takes care of his family.
93
00:03:52,517 --> 00:03:54,868
And he is not embarrassed
to be himself.
94
00:03:54,893 --> 00:03:56,603
There is no shame in Dave's game.
95
00:03:56,941 --> 00:03:58,193
I know.
96
00:03:58,218 --> 00:04:00,813
Which is weird, because
there really should be.
97
00:04:01,169 --> 00:04:03,845
But that's what I'm saying, man.
Dave knows who he is,
98
00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:06,044
and he owns it no matter
what anyone thinks.
99
00:04:06,069 --> 00:04:08,242
Isn't that what makes
a man real to you?
100
00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:11,090
Fine. Go ahead. Invite him.
101
00:04:11,615 --> 00:04:13,542
Probably doesn't even like boxing.
102
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:15,629
"Calvin, it's so barbaric.
103
00:04:15,654 --> 00:04:17,520
"Why can't they just
settle their differences
104
00:04:17,545 --> 00:04:19,605
with a rousing game of Parcheesi?"
105
00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:25,455
Dave says, "Hell yes," and
he is bringing snacks.
106
00:04:25,659 --> 00:04:27,075
Okay. Yeah.
107
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,101
Well, maybe it won't be so bad.
108
00:04:30,169 --> 00:04:32,368
He wants to know what you
like on your veggie plate.
109
00:04:34,672 --> 00:04:38,658
Okay, we have a gondola ride
at the Venetian at 6:00,
110
00:04:38,683 --> 00:04:41,974
the dancing fountains at the
Bellagio at 7:30, and...
111
00:04:41,999 --> 00:04:43,766
Drumroll, please...
112
00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:45,913
Donny and Marie tickets at 9:00!
113
00:04:47,736 --> 00:04:49,095
Vegas, baby!
114
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:50,658
♪ Girls' trip. ♪
115
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:53,175
Gemma, the only girl
who's trippin' is you.
116
00:04:54,329 --> 00:04:55,862
Yeah, we only came here
117
00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:57,667
because you said that you
needed to blow off some steam.
118
00:04:57,692 --> 00:04:59,874
We're not doing any
of that corny stuff.
119
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:02,088
But I made a whole itinerary. Look.
120
00:05:02,113 --> 00:05:04,005
It's got little boxes we can check off.
121
00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:06,216
Aw. Well, that's nice.
122
00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:08,330
But my itinerary says that it's time
123
00:05:08,355 --> 00:05:10,127
to throw out your itinerary.
124
00:05:10,152 --> 00:05:11,313
What?
125
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,946
Check.
126
00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:15,994
I just thought the
more structure we had,
127
00:05:16,019 --> 00:05:17,872
the more we could pack into our night.
128
00:05:17,989 --> 00:05:21,344
When I rage, I try to rage efficiently.
129
00:05:22,343 --> 00:05:25,177
Gemma, a girls' night in Vegas
is like floating down a river.
130
00:05:25,202 --> 00:05:27,090
You know? You got to go with the flow
131
00:05:27,115 --> 00:05:29,287
and see where it takes you.
132
00:05:29,581 --> 00:05:31,914
And why is your plan better than mine?
133
00:05:31,939 --> 00:05:33,496
Because it's Vegas, girl.
134
00:05:33,521 --> 00:05:34,695
Always bet on black.
135
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:38,267
Hey. Check it out, ladies.
136
00:05:38,292 --> 00:05:39,682
The hottest show in town.
137
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:42,978
See your wildest fantasies
onstage tonight.
138
00:05:45,746 --> 00:05:47,401
Magic Mike Live?
139
00:05:47,426 --> 00:05:49,489
What? Let me see that.
140
00:05:50,202 --> 00:05:52,043
It's just a bunch of male strippers.
141
00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:53,984
Exactly. You see?
142
00:05:54,273 --> 00:05:57,171
We go with the flow, and plans
will fall right in our laps.
143
00:05:57,196 --> 00:05:59,403
And tonight some men will, too.
144
00:06:01,904 --> 00:06:04,201
Thanks again for inviting me.
Grover's at a sleepover.
145
00:06:04,226 --> 00:06:06,092
Otherwise I wouldn't
have been able to come.
146
00:06:06,225 --> 00:06:07,474
How convenient.
147
00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:10,574
You gonna get in on some
of this jicama, Calvin?
148
00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:13,529
It's in season.
149
00:06:14,023 --> 00:06:15,618
Well, fortunately,
150
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:17,225
so is pizza.
151
00:06:18,524 --> 00:06:20,992
Man, this is great. Nothing
like a bunch of guys
152
00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:23,752
getting together to watch a big fight.
153
00:06:23,777 --> 00:06:25,293
Whoa.
154
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,099
I almost just double dipped.
155
00:06:27,124 --> 00:06:28,835
So...
156
00:06:30,583 --> 00:06:33,178
So, uh, Dave, who do you
think's gonna win the fight?
157
00:06:33,203 --> 00:06:35,460
Well, I don't know much
about these two fighters.
158
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:39,564
But Camargo is undefeated
against southpaws,
159
00:06:39,589 --> 00:06:41,534
and nobody cuts the ring
off better than he does.
160
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,884
And then, Posley
161
00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:46,701
does have a three-inch reach advantage
162
00:06:46,726 --> 00:06:48,220
and a pretty solid chin.
163
00:06:53,318 --> 00:06:56,486
But I'm rooting for Posley
'cause I like his purple shorts.
164
00:07:00,522 --> 00:07:02,960
Hey, guys. Big fight night.
165
00:07:02,985 --> 00:07:05,284
Oh, I see the jicama's in season.
166
00:07:05,309 --> 00:07:07,382
Yeah.
167
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:11,477
Whoa. Wh-What's wrong with the TV?
168
00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:13,115
Why's it all pixelated like that?
169
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,992
I don't know. I paid for the fight.
170
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,310
Well, maybe something's
blocking the satellite dish.
171
00:07:17,335 --> 00:07:19,899
Well, Marty, do something.
You work on satellites.
172
00:07:19,924 --> 00:07:21,904
Yeah, in space.
173
00:07:23,637 --> 00:07:26,339
Then it should be easier down here.
174
00:07:26,962 --> 00:07:28,578
Okay.
175
00:07:28,603 --> 00:07:30,462
Let's just go outside and take a look.
176
00:07:32,672 --> 00:07:34,722
I told you we shouldn't
have invited Dave.
177
00:07:34,747 --> 00:07:36,231
Oh, he had nothing to do with this.
178
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,474
I didn't say he did.
179
00:07:40,717 --> 00:07:42,500
Oh, there's the problem.
180
00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,675
The branch from Dave's tree
is blocking the signal.
181
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,664
I knew this was Dave's fault.
182
00:07:47,152 --> 00:07:49,170
How is this my fault?
183
00:07:49,195 --> 00:07:51,393
Because you don't trim
your trees enough.
184
00:07:51,418 --> 00:07:54,523
Old raggedy-ass branches
just waving around
185
00:07:54,548 --> 00:07:57,310
like one of those things in
front of a used car lot.
186
00:07:58,833 --> 00:08:01,082
You know, it's a California oak.
187
00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:03,492
I can't trim it. They're
protected by law.
188
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,618
Oh. That must be why
189
00:08:05,643 --> 00:08:07,630
the cop cars cruise by
here three times a day.
190
00:08:08,419 --> 00:08:10,402
Yes, hi. It's Dave Johnson.
191
00:08:10,427 --> 00:08:11,584
Local homeowner.
192
00:08:11,609 --> 00:08:13,143
Yeah, we have a bit of a tree conun...
193
00:08:16,585 --> 00:08:18,026
Marty, get the ladder.
194
00:08:18,051 --> 00:08:19,775
Whoa, whoa, Pop, Pop,
you are not climbing
195
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,044
on some old, rickety
roof with a chain saw.
196
00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:23,189
I'll be fine.
197
00:08:23,214 --> 00:08:24,377
How do you know that?
198
00:08:24,402 --> 00:08:26,067
'Cause you're gonna do it.
199
00:08:26,677 --> 00:08:30,024
No, I'm not. You heard Dave.
Trimming an oak is illegal.
200
00:08:30,049 --> 00:08:31,523
I done stayed out of jail this long.
201
00:08:31,548 --> 00:08:33,416
I'm not going in for assaulting a tree.
202
00:08:34,086 --> 00:08:36,741
Hmm. Okay. Then Marty will do it.
203
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,483
Oh, Dad, uh...
204
00:08:39,759 --> 00:08:42,689
you know I would do anything to
prove to you that I am a man,
205
00:08:42,714 --> 00:08:46,178
but I'm scared of heights, and I
just ate a lot of jicama, so...
206
00:08:47,886 --> 00:08:50,196
Fine. Since none of you will do it,
207
00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:51,503
I guess I will.
208
00:08:51,528 --> 00:08:52,827
No, you won't.
209
00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:56,037
Give me the chain saw.
210
00:08:56,790 --> 00:09:00,210
Really? Mr. I Like His Purple Shorts?
211
00:09:00,693 --> 00:09:03,373
Yeah, that's right. Look, it's my tree.
212
00:09:03,398 --> 00:09:05,441
My property. My responsibility.
213
00:09:06,093 --> 00:09:08,018
Okay. Go ahead.
214
00:09:08,043 --> 00:09:10,562
Wait, wait. Dave, are you sure
you know how to use that thing?
215
00:09:10,587 --> 00:09:11,774
- Oh, relax.
- Whoa, man!
216
00:09:13,992 --> 00:09:16,482
I got this. Now, before I go up there,
217
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:19,351
I'm gonna need two things:
hold the ladder and...
218
00:09:19,899 --> 00:09:21,856
watch out for Five-O.
219
00:09:30,997 --> 00:09:32,474
I don't know about this.
220
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:34,348
You don't know about what?
221
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:36,114
Hot men?
222
00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:40,016
It's just, this isn't my kind of thing.
223
00:09:40,041 --> 00:09:41,418
I know Donny and Marie
224
00:09:41,443 --> 00:09:44,317
are a solid five out
of five stars on Yelp.
225
00:09:44,688 --> 00:09:48,991
Yeah, but that guy has a
solid six out of six abs.
226
00:09:49,016 --> 00:09:51,665
Tina! That is somebody's son.
227
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:54,110
Mm-hmm. And somebody raised him right!
228
00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,987
Okay. Okay.
229
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,610
But what would Calvin think
if he knew you were here
230
00:09:58,635 --> 00:10:01,089
surrounded by all these
hot, shirtless guys?
231
00:10:01,114 --> 00:10:03,027
He doesn't care. In our house,
232
00:10:03,052 --> 00:10:05,091
it doesn't matter where
you get your appetite,
233
00:10:05,116 --> 00:10:07,282
as long as you come home to eat.
234
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:13,022
Okay, I'm up.
235
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:15,880
Looking good, Dave!
236
00:10:15,989 --> 00:10:17,571
He is gonna die.
237
00:10:19,025 --> 00:10:22,091
Come on, man, get to it! Fight
starts in five minutes.
238
00:10:22,116 --> 00:10:24,033
Okay, here we go.
239
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:27,783
Whoa.
240
00:10:29,248 --> 00:10:31,453
It really shakes in your hands!
241
00:10:33,013 --> 00:10:36,054
Maybe I should call 911 now so
they're already on their way.
242
00:10:38,235 --> 00:10:39,633
I can't reach it.
243
00:10:39,658 --> 00:10:41,124
All right, then-then just
come back down, man.
244
00:10:41,149 --> 00:10:42,378
Don't risk it.
245
00:10:42,403 --> 00:10:44,667
Or get up on your tippy-toes!
246
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,913
I'm so close!
247
00:10:52,414 --> 00:10:53,939
Whoa!
248
00:10:53,964 --> 00:10:55,651
Be careful, David!
249
00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,642
Yeah, seriously, man!
That's a new chain saw!
250
00:10:58,486 --> 00:11:00,361
Almost got it.
251
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,562
Oh!
252
00:11:03,138 --> 00:11:04,589
Yes!
253
00:11:04,614 --> 00:11:06,592
- Oh!
- All right!
254
00:11:06,617 --> 00:11:08,584
I told you I could do it!
255
00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:10,461
Hey, y-you know what? You
sure did, man. Now, please,
256
00:11:10,486 --> 00:11:11,717
just come on down, all right?
257
00:11:11,742 --> 00:11:13,578
Okay, okay. But seriously,
258
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:15,788
you should've seen the
look on your faces
259
00:11:15,813 --> 00:11:17,724
when you thought I was gonna...
Whoa! Whoa!
260
00:11:17,749 --> 00:11:20,193
Oh, Daddy, no! Ooh!
261
00:11:20,219 --> 00:11:22,377
Oh, Pop! Pop!
262
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,557
Oh, Pop.
263
00:11:34,366 --> 00:11:36,310
Oh, my God, Calvin. If you
didn't break my fall,
264
00:11:36,335 --> 00:11:38,001
I could be dead right now.
265
00:11:39,613 --> 00:11:42,330
I know. That's what I
keep thinking, too.
266
00:11:43,487 --> 00:11:45,473
Are you sure you don't want
to go to the hospital?
267
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:46,863
Oh, no, I'm fine. Thank you, though.
268
00:11:49,255 --> 00:11:50,975
You... oh, you-you mean Calvin.
269
00:11:51,894 --> 00:11:54,426
No, I'm-I'm all right; it's just
my back's out a little bit.
270
00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:55,660
Help-help me sit down.
271
00:11:55,723 --> 00:11:57,795
- All right. Easy.
- Okay, you know, the craziest part
272
00:11:57,820 --> 00:11:59,796
was how Dave bounced
off of you and landed
273
00:11:59,821 --> 00:12:00,929
right back on top of you.
274
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,737
Like, the science of that
275
00:12:02,762 --> 00:12:04,337
is-is...
276
00:12:05,584 --> 00:12:07,601
Maybe that's for another time.
277
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,956
All I know is this damn
TV better be working.
278
00:12:12,286 --> 00:12:13,452
- Pop, Pop.
- Get the remote, Marty.
279
00:12:13,477 --> 00:12:15,081
Yeah, I got it, I got it.
280
00:12:15,106 --> 00:12:16,692
Hey, it's working.
281
00:12:16,717 --> 00:12:18,700
Oh, man, this is killing me.
282
00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:21,811
Gosh, Calvin, you know, I can't help
283
00:12:21,836 --> 00:12:23,868
but feel somewhat
responsible for all this.
284
00:12:26,533 --> 00:12:28,663
You know what? Let me run
next door and get you
285
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:31,208
some of Gemma's prescription
muscle relaxants.
286
00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:32,949
Why does Gemma have muscle relaxants?
287
00:12:32,974 --> 00:12:34,441
Oh, well, the doctor
just gave them to her
288
00:12:34,466 --> 00:12:36,158
for when her menstrual
cramps get real bad.
289
00:12:36,183 --> 00:12:37,957
Oh.
290
00:12:39,502 --> 00:12:43,035
I'm not taking your wife's
period pills, Dave.
291
00:12:43,838 --> 00:12:45,907
No, no, no, Calvin, they're
not her period pills.
292
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,221
They're just the pills she takes
when she's on her period.
293
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,927
Whoa, whoa, Pop.
294
00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:53,601
You just can't sit here like this, man.
295
00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:54,867
Yeah, man, you look miserable.
296
00:12:54,892 --> 00:12:56,107
Yeah, you know what? They're right.
297
00:12:56,132 --> 00:12:57,882
Luckily, Calvin,
298
00:12:58,130 --> 00:13:00,136
I have another solution.
299
00:13:00,161 --> 00:13:02,458
I give an amazing massage.
300
00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:05,583
Get the pills. Get the
damn pills, Dave!
301
00:13:07,444 --> 00:13:10,647
Yeah! Work it, baby.
302
00:13:10,672 --> 00:13:12,728
Hump that floor!
303
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,036
I think I'm starting to get it.
304
00:13:16,349 --> 00:13:19,355
All of these men are
here for our pleasure,
305
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:20,857
asking what we want.
306
00:13:21,146 --> 00:13:23,741
No one ever asks women what they want.
307
00:13:23,766 --> 00:13:26,649
Look at him twirling that
T-shirt over his head
308
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:28,245
like a sexy helicopter.
309
00:13:29,751 --> 00:13:31,241
It's almost as if
310
00:13:31,266 --> 00:13:34,621
Magic Mike is the ultimate
expression of feminism.
311
00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:38,382
Oh! Oh-oh-oh! Black Hawk down!
312
00:13:39,939 --> 00:13:41,804
- I'm going... oh, oh, oh, oh!
- Wait.
313
00:13:41,829 --> 00:13:42,906
Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?
314
00:13:42,931 --> 00:13:44,693
Come on! We're going to the stage.
315
00:13:44,718 --> 00:13:46,361
What-what? Wait, wait, wait!
Tina! Tina!
316
00:13:46,386 --> 00:13:49,270
I don't think I'm ready
for this much feminism.
317
00:13:51,358 --> 00:13:53,325
What's about to happen?
318
00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:56,714
Magic, Gemma. Magic.
319
00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:01,570
Wow, round five and
Posley's still in it.
320
00:14:01,595 --> 00:14:02,209
Well, yeah,
321
00:14:02,234 --> 00:14:03,261
but look how much he's bleeding.
322
00:14:03,286 --> 00:14:05,258
Ah, get him, Camargo!
323
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,952
Hey, Pop, those pills
making you feel any better?
324
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,257
Actually...
325
00:14:12,629 --> 00:14:14,407
quite a bit.
326
00:14:15,493 --> 00:14:19,745
But why do these guys keep
hitting each other like that?
327
00:14:20,913 --> 00:14:23,711
With all of the violence in the world,
328
00:14:23,736 --> 00:14:25,572
don't you think it's a better way
329
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:27,213
they can solve their problems?
330
00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:31,393
Um, like what?
331
00:14:31,418 --> 00:14:33,350
Like a dance-off.
332
00:14:34,114 --> 00:14:36,532
Or a staring contest?
333
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:47,448
Yeah, let... let-let
me see those pills.
334
00:14:47,473 --> 00:14:48,971
Just...
335
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:54,192
"The side effects may include
dizziness, drowsiness,
336
00:14:54,217 --> 00:14:56,279
and emotional sensitivity."
337
00:14:57,652 --> 00:15:01,574
What the world needs is love.
338
00:15:02,897 --> 00:15:05,717
Okay, look... I-I only gave him two.
339
00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,833
Oh, wait. I just gave him two.
340
00:15:10,768 --> 00:15:12,996
Can I give him two more?
341
00:15:14,553 --> 00:15:17,734
Malcolm. Malcolm, where are you, boy?
342
00:15:17,759 --> 00:15:19,000
Yeah... hey, hey, hey, hey, Pop.
343
00:15:19,025 --> 00:15:20,665
I'm sitting right next to you, man.
344
00:15:20,690 --> 00:15:23,646
- Oh. There you are.
- Yeah.
345
00:15:23,671 --> 00:15:25,167
Come here, son.
346
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:26,504
O-Okay.
347
00:15:27,564 --> 00:15:29,249
- Malcolm.
- Yeah?
348
00:15:29,283 --> 00:15:31,316
You're my firstborn son.
349
00:15:31,341 --> 00:15:32,441
Yeah.
350
00:15:32,898 --> 00:15:35,502
- And I love you, boy.
- Uh-huh.
351
00:15:36,272 --> 00:15:38,473
- Hey, uh, thanks, Pop.
- Yeah.
352
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:40,987
Marty?
353
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:43,949
Yes, Dad?
354
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,171
I was just seeing if
you were still here.
355
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:52,040
O-Okay. Okay.
356
00:15:52,065 --> 00:15:54,860
Okay, guys, I-I'm starting
to get a little worried.
357
00:15:54,885 --> 00:15:57,474
Calvin, you've ingested
some pretty serious drugs,
358
00:15:57,499 --> 00:16:00,000
and you're experiencing side effects.
359
00:16:02,649 --> 00:16:05,209
Is there anything you need?
360
00:16:07,771 --> 00:16:09,678
Well, you know what?
361
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,983
Now that you mention it, there is.
362
00:16:14,469 --> 00:16:16,467
Ok-Okay, what is it?
363
00:16:17,478 --> 00:16:21,111
Does that offer for a
back rub still stand?
364
00:16:31,385 --> 00:16:35,809
You guys heard him! He asked.
365
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,904
- Oh! Oh.
- Yeah.
366
00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:49,845
Hi, I'm Gemma.
367
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,620
I really appreciate
your progressiveness
368
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,156
and your willingness
to objectify yourself
369
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,883
for my pleasure.
370
00:16:56,472 --> 00:16:58,680
Gemma, shut up and make some noise!
371
00:17:00,078 --> 00:17:02,617
Now, where are you comfortable
with me putting my hands?
372
00:17:02,642 --> 00:17:04,471
That works.
373
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,532
Come on, Gemma, get out of your head.
374
00:17:07,557 --> 00:17:09,335
This is our girls' trip.
375
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:12,192
You're right. Like Thelma and Louise.
376
00:17:12,217 --> 00:17:13,336
- Yes. There you go.
- Yeah.
377
00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:15,286
Now, come on, Thelma. Do you trust me?
378
00:17:15,311 --> 00:17:16,772
I do, Louise.
379
00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,576
Do you trust in the magic of Vegas?
380
00:17:18,601 --> 00:17:19,552
Yes.
381
00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:20,961
And of our girls' trips?
382
00:17:20,986 --> 00:17:23,194
Ooh... okay.
383
00:17:23,713 --> 00:17:25,777
Then, come on, girl,
let's ride this thing
384
00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:27,638
over the cliff together!
385
00:17:28,109 --> 00:17:30,517
You sit down. I can do this.
386
00:17:30,542 --> 00:17:32,427
See, I used to do this back in the day.
387
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,548
Hey, hey.
388
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:49,240
And to think, after this, we can
still go to Donny and Marie!
389
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:53,670
Okay, Calvin, how we doing?
390
00:17:53,695 --> 00:17:55,549
I don't know what your hands
391
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,441
are doing back there,
Dave, but don't stop.
392
00:18:01,285 --> 00:18:03,794
Do you think Pop's gonna
remember any of this?
393
00:18:03,819 --> 00:18:05,482
No, I don't.
394
00:18:06,674 --> 00:18:09,428
Which is why I've been recording.
395
00:18:12,119 --> 00:18:13,264
Okay.
396
00:18:13,289 --> 00:18:15,296
I think we got all the knots out.
397
00:18:16,066 --> 00:18:17,899
Oh, man, fight's over.
398
00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:19,223
Yeah, but I think we can all agree
399
00:18:19,248 --> 00:18:21,566
that this was the main event.
400
00:18:24,742 --> 00:18:26,643
How you doing, Calvin?
You feeling okay?
401
00:18:26,668 --> 00:18:28,809
Oh, so much better.
402
00:18:29,766 --> 00:18:31,290
You know what?
403
00:18:31,315 --> 00:18:34,231
Dave, I... have to admit,
404
00:18:34,256 --> 00:18:37,676
when Malcolm first suggested
inviting you tonight,
405
00:18:37,912 --> 00:18:40,610
I was like "Boo.
406
00:18:41,479 --> 00:18:43,582
Bad idea."
407
00:18:44,027 --> 00:18:48,032
But now I'm more like, "Yay!
408
00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:50,575
Dave's here."
409
00:18:52,274 --> 00:18:54,738
Well, I-I'm glad you came around.
410
00:18:54,763 --> 00:18:58,823
Now, don't tell you I said this.
411
00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:03,213
I don't give you enough credit.
412
00:19:03,731 --> 00:19:06,768
I mean, you're not as
soft as I thought.
413
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:09,756
Sure, yeah, you smile too much
414
00:19:09,781 --> 00:19:13,198
and you go to Disneyland by yourself...
415
00:19:16,748 --> 00:19:21,912
but you, you got up on
that roof with a chain saw
416
00:19:22,278 --> 00:19:25,287
and you did something
dangerous and stupid.
417
00:19:26,735 --> 00:19:30,614
And to me, that's a man.
418
00:19:33,624 --> 00:19:35,645
I appreciate that, Calvin.
419
00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:37,790
Okeydokey.
420
00:19:37,962 --> 00:19:40,359
My eyes are gonna go to sleep now.
421
00:19:47,204 --> 00:19:49,014
Sweet dreams, buddy.
422
00:19:51,955 --> 00:19:53,825
Oh, and I'm gonna need copies of that
423
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:56,279
texted and e-mailed to me immediately!
424
00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:03,206
Hey, Dave.
425
00:20:03,231 --> 00:20:05,218
Oh, hey, Calvin. How's the back?
426
00:20:05,243 --> 00:20:08,202
Eh, a little sore, but better.
427
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,507
Man, those pills were strong.
428
00:20:10,839 --> 00:20:12,811
I don't even remember the fight.
429
00:20:13,264 --> 00:20:15,894
Oh, well, uh...
430
00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:18,087
you enjoyed it.
431
00:20:22,078 --> 00:20:23,682
Oh, hey, honey. How was your trip?
432
00:20:23,707 --> 00:20:25,312
I'll tell you all about it inside.
433
00:20:25,337 --> 00:20:26,173
Well, you don't wantto grab your bag...
434
00:20:26,198 --> 00:20:26,704
Nope.
435
00:20:26,729 --> 00:20:28,428
Mama came home hungry.
436
00:20:34,745 --> 00:20:37,764
Oh, no. No, no, no.
Tina, I know that look,
437
00:20:37,789 --> 00:20:39,834
but, baby, I hurt my back, okay?
438
00:20:39,859 --> 00:20:42,745
Oh, you poor baby.
439
00:20:42,770 --> 00:20:45,268
It's a good thing I
only need your front.
440
00:20:47,184 --> 00:20:48,962
All right, all right.
441
00:20:48,987 --> 00:20:51,390
But first, let me take my period pills.
442
00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:52,724
All right.
31515
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
