Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:04,091
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:06,267
We sort of have another
reason for asking you here.
3
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,096
We want to have a baby,
4
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,054
but we can't do it on our own.
5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,055
Okay, whoa, whoa.
6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,274
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
7
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,102
Yeah, this has been
such a nice evening.
8
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:18,061
Let's all just stop before
anyone says any more things.
9
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,517
Leonard, would you be
the father of our baby?
10
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,673
You said a thing.
11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:26,461
Thank you, guys, again
for agreeing to do this.
12
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,724
Yeah, it means so much to us.
13
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:30,421
We're happy we can help.
14
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,076
Yeah, and we don't find it
weird at all.
15
00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:34,773
It's a little weird for us, too.
16
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,949
I mean, instead of our baby
looking like Zack,
17
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,343
it's gonna look like Leonard.
18
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,564
Or Penny if it's a girl.
19
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,176
No, no, it's not gonna look...
20
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,266
Sure.
21
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,529
But I promise,
22
00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:54,184
we're gonna be
really good parents.-
23
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,664
We know you will.
24
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,318
So, what is the next step? Yeah.
25
00:00:57,361 --> 00:00:59,755
Well, Leonard, we were hoping
you'd go in on Monday.
26
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:00,799
Okay.
27
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,236
And they say,
for the best results,
28
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,952
between now and then,
you shouldn't have sex.
29
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,413
Sorry, bro,
30
00:01:05,456 --> 00:01:07,806
I know it seems impossible
to go for five days without,
31
00:01:07,850 --> 00:01:10,244
but I believe in you.
32
00:01:10,287 --> 00:01:13,464
Five days?
My record is 24 years.
33
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,207
I think that also means
no flying solo.
34
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:21,733
Then my record is 14 years.
35
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:24,040
And, well, we're really
hoping for a son.
36
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,347
So just, like, keep that in mind
when you're in there.
37
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:30,394
Yeah, just think, "Little
boys, little boys."
38
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:35,530
Still just totally not weird.
39
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,184
Hello.
40
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:39,205
Hey, Sheldon. We're kind of
in the middle of something.
41
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,449
I won't be a moment.
I just need to grab a book
42
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:43,015
off a high shelf, which I can do
43
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,496
because I am both
tall and smart.
44
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:49,152
Sheldon, come home!
45
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,763
They don't want
to have your baby!
46
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,306
I don't know
what you're talking about.
47
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:55,463
Dear, I think
I got something in my eye.
48
00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:57,943
My piercing, blue eye.
49
00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,469
Sheldon! Fine.
50
00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:05,473
I've also never had a cavity
and I don't have asthma...
51
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:36,504
So, this week
would have been my wedding
52
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:39,811
if Anu and I hadn't decided
to slow things down.
53
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:42,727
Yeah, I would have
forgotten, except for those
54
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:45,687
nonrefundable airline tickets
to India I bought.
55
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:46,862
I'm sorry.
56
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:50,692
No, no. What's $3,000
between friends?
57
00:02:50,735 --> 00:02:52,215
Yeah, I probably would've just
58
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,826
thrown it away on health care
for my children.
59
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:58,308
If you still want to go,
you can go to India
60
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:01,224
and help my dad eat
all the nonrefundable sushi.
61
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,357
Indian sushi?
62
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,360
I need a change of underwear
just thinking about that.
63
00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,624
I really think
we made the right decision.
64
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,756
Agreed, although I did have
65
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,542
a pretty awesome bachelor party
planned for this weekend.
66
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:15,543
Really? What was it?
67
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:16,892
Well, I used my NASA connections
68
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:19,024
to get us four seats
on that plane
69
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:21,375
that lets you experience
weightlessness.
70
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:24,465
The Vomit Comet.
That is so cool.
71
00:03:24,508 --> 00:03:26,728
I've always wanted
to experience weightlessness.
72
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:28,730
The closest I ever came
was that time
73
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,298
I accidentally set my scale
to kilograms.
74
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:36,128
I know, it would've
been fun, but, hey,
75
00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:39,871
the next time you decide to
marry a woman you barely know.
76
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:41,264
We could still go.
77
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,397
You know, make it
a guys' weekend.
78
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,747
Yeah. All right, let's do it.
79
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:48,489
Great. It'll be like
the good old days.
80
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:51,970
You mean when we were all sad,
desperate and horribly alone?
81
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,800
I remember it more fondly.
82
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,241
Leonard, if you had
food on your face,
83
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,392
would you want me to tell you?
84
00:04:02,416 --> 00:04:05,549
Where? Did I get it?
85
00:04:05,593 --> 00:04:07,986
No, not now; It was last week.
86
00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:10,748
I didn't know
whether or not to tell you,
87
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,600
but everyone was staring.
88
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:15,298
For the record,
it was right there.
89
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,953
And it was Nutella.
90
00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:18,997
Thanks.
91
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,999
You looked like
a hazelnut Hitler.
92
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,916
Hey, who wants to hear
some exciting news?
93
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,309
What's up?
94
00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:29,573
This weekend, I got us
four seats on the Vomit Comet.
95
00:04:29,617 --> 00:04:32,446
You lost me at "vomit,"
you lost me again at "comet,"
96
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:35,275
and to be honest, I was
on the fence at "us."
97
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,634
Yeah, I can't go either.
Penny's dad is visiting
98
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:40,715
from Nebraska, and I haven't
seen him for a while.
99
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,804
That's nice you guys get along.
100
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:45,502
I forget, Howard, does your
father-in-law still hate you?
101
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,114
He doesn't hate me.
102
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,681
He's just disappointed
103
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:53,293
that I'm not
any other man on the planet.
104
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:58,123
That's how I feel about
Ben Affleck as Batman.
105
00:04:59,342 --> 00:05:00,343
Well, these two are out.
106
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:01,692
There goes our guys' weekend.
107
00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,999
Okay, so let's make it
a couples' weekend.
108
00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:05,482
I'll bring Anu,
you bring Bernadette.
109
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:06,760
I'm not sure
Bernie would like it.
110
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:08,743
Maybe I'll invite
Stuart or Bert.
111
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,222
Go with Bert!
112
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,921
He's huge. It'd be fun to
watch him float around.
113
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,750
Like that time the
Underdog balloon
114
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,318
got away at the Macy's Parade.
115
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,844
Hey. What are those?
116
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,236
Vitamins.
117
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,370
Zack wants me to take them
to increase my virility.
118
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:29,807
Zack used the word "virility"?
119
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595
He may have said "wiener power."
120
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,338
Okay, that's my dad.
121
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,644
Now, remember, do not bring up
any baby stuff, all right?
122
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,820
Not me not wanting one,
not you having one with Zack.
123
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,537
Got it. And if he brings it up,
change the subject
124
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:46,171
to literally anything else. I got it.
125
00:05:46,215 --> 00:05:49,392
But not the Cornhuskers.
Do not discuss the Cornhuskers.
126
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:52,308
Is that a sports team?
127
00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,918
Never mind, you're good.
128
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,400
Daddy! Hi.Hey, Slugger.
129
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,054
Aw.
130
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:01,796
Hey, Wyatt. Leonard.
131
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,754
Hey, that's a hell
of a handshake.
132
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:06,583
Well, you know,
I've been taking vitamins.
133
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:09,281
Dad, come on in, sit down.
134
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,414
Can I get you something
to drink? Maybe a beer?
135
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,242
Sure, if you're having one.Okay.
136
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:15,287
And why wouldn't you,
since you're not pregnant?
137
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:19,422
Um...
138
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:22,033
Leonard wants to have a baby
with my ex-boyfriend Zack.
139
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:30,433
How 'bout those Cornhuskers?
140
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:38,354
Hey, would you mind if Raj
and I went away this weekend?
141
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,010
Well, it is important for you
two to keep the spark alive.
142
00:06:42,053 --> 00:06:45,274
No, just the bachelor party
I had planned.
143
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,928
I thought we'd do it anyway.
144
00:06:46,971 --> 00:06:48,408
So a guys' weekend?
145
00:06:48,451 --> 00:06:50,473
Kinda. I mean, Sheldon
and Leonard couldn't make it,
146
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,803
so Raj invited Anu
and I asked Stuart.
147
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:57,112
Wait, you invited Stuart
before me?
148
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,766
Actually, I invited Bert
before Stuart,
149
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,464
but I don't know why
I just told you that.
150
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,118
Why didn't you invite me?
151
00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,773
Because I know you.
152
00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:09,254
You don't want to float
weightless in an airplane.
153
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:10,473
What are you talking about?
154
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:12,083
I love doing crazy
stuff like that.
155
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:15,870
Bernie, you got sick from
the teacup ride at Disneyland.
156
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,611
Lots of people do.
157
00:07:17,654 --> 00:07:20,222
We were still in line.
158
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,876
So you don't want me to go?
159
00:07:21,919 --> 00:07:24,661
No, I want you to go
if you're gonna have fun.
160
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:27,142
I don't want you to go
if you're gonna be miserable
161
00:07:27,185 --> 00:07:29,187
and ruin it for everyone.
162
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:31,886
Which is a long way of saying
163
00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:33,540
I want you to go!
164
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,849
I think this is
going pretty good?
165
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:44,681
Maybe for you.
You threw me under the bus.
166
00:07:44,725 --> 00:07:46,640
I'm sorry. I panicked.
He was judging me.
167
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,424
Well, yeah, now he's judging me.
168
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,817
I know. It worked.
169
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,604
You two might want to talk
louder or quieter.
170
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:57,346
In high school, he could
hear me open a can of beer
171
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:58,695
in my closet under a blanket.
172
00:08:02,307 --> 00:08:05,485
So let me get this
straight, Leonard.
173
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,008
She doesn't want
to have your baby,
174
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:10,011
but her dumbbell
ex-boyfriend does.
175
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:13,362
Well, I... no, I wouldn't
say it like that.
176
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:14,711
How would you say it?
177
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,585
Same words, just less angry.
178
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,936
Well, I don't know
about Los Angeles,
179
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:24,982
but in Nebraska,
that's kind of strange.
180
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:28,464
It's strange here, too,
and we have a bakery for dogs.
181
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,379
And you're okay with this?
182
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:31,859
I support my husband. Thank you.
183
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:33,140
But, you know,
if you think differently,
184
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,402
you should feel free to say so.
185
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:37,865
You know, just like, ""
Make a scene.
186
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:41,564
Okay, look, they can't
have kids of their own,
187
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:42,913
and they like that I'm smart,
188
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,567
and they want that
for their child.
189
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,437
No, I get it.
190
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:46,308
You do?
191
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:47,527
Sure.
192
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,746
Back on the farm,
we had a prize stallion.
193
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:53,968
We didn't let that just go to
waste; We put him out to stud.
194
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:58,538
No, no, this is... this is
a little different than that...
195
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:01,410
No, no, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
196
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,847
You were comparing me
to a prize stud. Go on.
197
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,552
You have fun with
198
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,901
your new best buddy?
199
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,642
Hey, it's your fault
your dad likes me.
200
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:17,644
You dated idiots
your whole life.
201
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:20,342
Well, he was right
about one thing.
202
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,563
I am married to a stud.
203
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:25,608
Really?
204
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,349
Yeah, I felt so bad
about selling you out,
205
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,612
I thought I would
maybe make it up to you.
206
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,270
Wait, wait. I can't.
207
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,663
I mean, I want to,
208
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,621
but I'm not supposed to
for the next three days.
209
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:41,581
That's right. I forgot.
210
00:09:41,624 --> 00:09:44,061
All right, well, guess
I'll just read a little
211
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,107
and then... I don't
know... go to sleep.
212
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,375
Really? That's what
you're sleeping in?
213
00:09:53,418 --> 00:09:54,594
You want me to take it off?
214
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:56,204
No.
215
00:09:56,247 --> 00:09:57,640
All right.
216
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,990
Well, then pipe down
and let me read my comic book.
217
00:10:01,078 --> 00:10:03,385
Penny, I-I know
what you're doing.
218
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,255
Just please stop.
219
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,475
Ooh, listen to this.
220
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:07,694
"Bam.
221
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:08,869
"Pow.
222
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:11,088
Take that, Batman."
223
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,919
Thanks again for
doing this, guys.
224
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:18,052
Of course. So excited.
225
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:19,793
I'm glad you came.
226
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:22,032
Howard made it sound like
this wasn't your kind of thing.
227
00:10:22,056 --> 00:10:23,710
He did say that, but here I am.
228
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:25,712
So what does he know?
229
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,801
I'm sorry. I just...
230
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,803
didn't think you'd enjoy
plummeting to the Earth
231
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:31,152
at 400 miles an hour.
232
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,893
I love going fast,
233
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,242
unlike Grandma here,
234
00:10:34,285 --> 00:10:35,896
poking along
at 70 miles an hour.
235
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,288
Am I right?
236
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,727
I've always wanted to do this.
237
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,685
I'm an adrenaline junkie.
238
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,121
Roller coasters, snowboarding,
239
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:47,429
dating men
who bathe with their dogs.
240
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,345
It was during a drought.
241
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,087
I'm a thrill-seeker, too.
242
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,176
I've had to pull back
since I became a mom,
243
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:57,744
but I'll still jump on the back
of a grocery cart
244
00:10:57,787 --> 00:11:00,834
and just roll
through the meat section.
245
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:03,097
And I'm married to her,
246
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:05,795
which is quite the ride.
247
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,055
Amy?
248
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,930
There's something out here.
249
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,758
Just trap it under a cup,
250
00:12:38,801 --> 00:12:41,108
and I'll be there in a minute.
251
00:12:41,151 --> 00:12:44,633
I'll try, but it's Leonard.
252
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,156
What?
253
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,813
Well, what is he doing here?
254
00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:52,399
I told you, if we left
pizza on the counter,
255
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,469
we'd attract something.
256
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,950
Hey, guys.
257
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,473
Sorry. I used my key.
258
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,301
I just needed a place to crash.
259
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:01,824
Is everything okay?
260
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,173
Yeah, I...
261
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,132
had to get out of the apartment.
262
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:08,309
My wife kept trying
to have sex with me.
263
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,528
Been there.
264
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,450
Why are you trying
to avoid having sex?
265
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,211
Well, we just did it
three weeks ago. I was talking
266
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,845
to Leonard!
267
00:13:25,282 --> 00:13:26,893
Well, I-I have to go
to the clinic
268
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,459
for Zack and Marissa on Monday,
269
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:31,245
and I'm supposed
to save myself until then.
270
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:35,902
Sounds like maybe Penny's not
totally on board with that plan.
271
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,078
Well, she said she was.
272
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:42,082
But she also said I looked dope.
273
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:47,130
Honestly, I don't even
think I looked fly.
274
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,673
So you're willing
to go through with this,
275
00:13:48,697 --> 00:13:50,786
even though
she clearly has reservations?
276
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,005
If she has a problem,
277
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,224
she should say something.
278
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,225
She tried to seduce you.
279
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:56,226
If that's not a cry for help,
280
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,967
I don't know what is.
281
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:01,884
Penny doesn't want to have kids.
282
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,494
I respect that.
283
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:06,976
But this is my chance to
leave a part of me behind.
284
00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,545
Okay, but this isn't
gonna make you a dad.
285
00:14:10,588 --> 00:14:12,982
It's gonna be
their baby, not yours.
286
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,723
Although, someday,
287
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:16,725
if that kid wants
to know why he's short,
288
00:14:16,768 --> 00:14:19,206
nearsighted, and asthmatic...
289
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:22,687
he may hunt you down.
290
00:14:25,647 --> 00:14:29,607
Are you guys ready for the most
intense experience of your life?
291
00:14:29,651 --> 00:14:31,218
Yes.Definitely.
292
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:32,543
Not to brag, but
I'm an astronaut,
293
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,351
so I've been weightless before.
294
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,440
Can be pretty scary.
295
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,443
Please, I'm, like, 90 pounds.
296
00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:43,447
I'm weightless every time
I hold more than three balloons.
297
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:46,102
Okay, I just need you guys
to sign these waivers,
298
00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,582
and then you can go get changed.
299
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,410
There are a lot of pages here.
300
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:52,195
Is this a waiver or a screenplay
you've been working on?
301
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:55,068
I'm sure it's just boilerplate.
302
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:57,853
Absolutely. It's to protect us
in case of injury.
303
00:14:57,897 --> 00:15:00,595
It says, "Or death."
304
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,947
Which is awesome.
305
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,168
Done. Where are the
changing rooms?
306
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,605
Dressing rooms are in the back.
307
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,650
No peeking.
308
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,611
Here you go.
309
00:15:16,654 --> 00:15:18,918
Okay. Should we go get changed?
310
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,920
Yeah. Hang on a second.
311
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,312
What?
312
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,097
Just...
I have two babies at home.
313
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,533
What am I doing?
314
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,187
If you don't want to do this,
315
00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,579
then why'd you come?
316
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,122
To prove to Howard
that he doesn't know me as well
317
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:32,453
as he thinks he does.
318
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,281
Looks like he does.
319
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:37,632
Unless I do it
and then he doesn't.
320
00:15:37,675 --> 00:15:40,852
Why not just be honest?
321
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,506
You're right.
322
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,508
I should be honest.
323
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:48,773
You owe me $3,000 for those
plane tickets to India!
324
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,998
Hey.
325
00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,522
That was a long run.
326
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,437
Yeah. Well, I was in the zone.
327
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:02,178
You know, and then in a diner
328
00:16:02,222 --> 00:16:07,009
and then in a massage chair
at the mall where I fell asleep.
329
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,272
Are you avoiding me?
330
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,448
Well, I took a nap
next to Hot Dog on a Stick.
331
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:12,972
What do you think?
332
00:16:14,712 --> 00:16:18,020
I think you're mad at me
and Leonard,
333
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:21,284
but maybe... you're really mad
at yourself.
334
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,417
Why would I be mad at myself?
335
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:27,029
'Cause you regret
this "no baby" plan of yours.
336
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,180
You know, it's
pretty crappy of you
337
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,466
to make me feel bad about this.
338
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,425
I'm not trying
to make you feel bad.
339
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:34,863
But... do you?
340
00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,039
Yes.
341
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,867
I feel like I'm
letting everybody down.
342
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:40,260
Hate disappointing Leonard,
343
00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:42,479
but I really hate
disappointing you.
344
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,873
Slugger, you could
never disappoint me.
345
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:50,792
Okay, your high school years
were a little rough.
346
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,621
And I'm sorry about that.
347
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,024
There was you
sneaking out at night
348
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,972
and your boyfriends
sneaking out in the morning.
349
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,843
I said sorry.
350
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:00,889
That time you got drunk
and stole a horse.
351
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,412
Yeah.
352
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:03,892
I was there. I remember.
353
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,720
Parts of it.
354
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,114
But besides all that,
355
00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:11,073
being your dad is the best thing
ever happened to me.
356
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,902
What about Randall and Lisa?
357
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:17,384
They're okay.
358
00:17:17,427 --> 00:17:19,603
I just don't want you
to miss out.
359
00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:21,605
I know.
360
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:23,955
But if this is
really what you want...
361
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,740
Or don't want...
362
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,350
I'm on your side.
363
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,396
Thanks.
364
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:32,921
Hey.
365
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,096
Hey.
366
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:36,272
Wyatt, we need to talk.
367
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:37,969
Sure. What's up?
368
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:41,060
I want you to back off.
369
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:44,454
You know? I-If Penny and I don't
have kids, that's between us.
370
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,456
So you need to stay out of it.
371
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,241
Leonard, it's okay.
We talked. We're good.
372
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:57,293
Okay, you could've
stopped me sooner.
373
00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,078
Could've let you go longer.
374
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,733
You did great, Leonard.
Very forceful.
375
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:04,387
Yeah?
376
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:08,087
I-I-I felt like my voice
was a little shaky there.
377
00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,916
Um...
378
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,528
Hey, I decided to not go through
379
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,096
with this Zack
and Marissa thing.
380
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,314
Really?
381
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,142
But you were
so excited about it. I know.
382
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:21,839
But, um...
383
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:24,146
I think I was just
fooling myself.
384
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:28,237
I-I would be heartbroken
if I had a kid out there
385
00:18:28,281 --> 00:18:30,326
and I wasn't his dad.
386
00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,198
I know you would.
387
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:34,025
Yeah.
388
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:38,334
So, that thing
you wanted to do last night,
389
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:41,250
I'm available.
390
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,557
I got real good hearing there,
stud.
391
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,953
All right, everyone's suited up.
392
00:18:48,997 --> 00:18:50,694
Let's head out to the tarmac!
393
00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:52,609
Actually, one second.
394
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:55,482
Howie, I don't think
I should do this.
395
00:18:55,525 --> 00:18:56,831
Really?
396
00:18:56,874 --> 00:19:00,226
Well, I did not see that coming.
397
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:03,185
Just... We have kids,
398
00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,753
and it's not smart to
put us both in danger.
399
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:06,754
That's a good point.
400
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,277
When I was little, my parents
401
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:09,409
never flew together.
402
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,777
We thought it was
because they loved us,
403
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:13,543
but it turns out
they hated each other.
404
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,415
See?
405
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,417
I just think I shouldn't go.
406
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:19,177
Actually, this is much safer
than driving a car.
407
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:21,072
Stay out of it, flyboy!
408
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,293
You're right.
409
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,295
But I've done this before.
410
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,515
And since you really,
really want to go,
411
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:29,733
I'll stay here.
412
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,345
Great.
413
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:35,217
Unless you don't want to because
I was right and I do know you.
414
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,915
Well, if you really know me,
then you know how far I'll go
415
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,221
to prove a point. Apparently,
416
00:19:39,265 --> 00:19:40,981
34,000 feet that way,
then straight back down,
417
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:42,200
up and down, over and over again
418
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,748
until you throw up food
you didn't even eat.
419
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,752
They are definitely
your weirdest friends.
420
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,276
If only that were true.
421
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:57,979
I hate this so much!
422
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,590
Why am I doing this?!
423
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,028
To prove a stupid point
to your husband!
424
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,030
Right. Worth it.
425
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,344
Hey, Zack.
426
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:19,000
Um, look, I-I know this
is gonna be disappointing,
427
00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:22,569
but, um, I-I can't do this.
428
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:24,092
No, no, no, no.
429
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:27,530
I-I, I know how. I just can't.
430
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,577
But, hey, look,
431
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:31,882
i-if you like,
432
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:34,407
I-I know someone
who might be interested.
433
00:20:34,450 --> 00:20:37,410
No! Absolutely not!
434
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,327
I'm sorry,
my wife says I'm not allowed.
435
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,330
Captioning sponsored by
CBS, WARNER BROS. TELEVISION.
436
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:47,376
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
31226
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
