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1
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[rock music]
2
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Tear it down
3
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[laughter]
4
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Hey, Caroline.
5
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Truth or dare?
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- Truth.
- [all oohing]
7
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Have you ever given road head?
8
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I'm not playing anymore.
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Totally a yes.
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[laughter]
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My turn.
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- Mary Louise, truth or dare?
- Dare.
13
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I dare you
14
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to stick this bottle up your butt.
15
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[laughter]
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- Breathe deep!
- Start with the skinny side!
17
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- Oh, right?
- Oh. Uh-uh.
18
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I hate when you guys do this.
19
00:00:48,795 --> 00:00:50,512
You're acting like a middle school clique.
20
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- Oh, my God.
- You're right.
21
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That is so awesome.
22
00:00:54,134 --> 00:00:57,052
[laughter]
23
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[indistinct chatter]
24
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Kim Rigsby and Claire Strauss.
25
00:01:05,914 --> 00:01:07,112
John Glenn High School.
26
00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,230
Oh, Caroline Watson?
27
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It's been years since someone's
called me by my maiden name.
28
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We're just a couple old married ladies now.
29
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Wow. Congratulations.
30
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So, what about you?
31
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Did Jacob ever put a ring on it?
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Oh, no.
33
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- We actually broke up.
- Yeah, I heard that.
34
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- Then why did you ask?
- So, what have you been up to?
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I'm just single and teaching.
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How brave.
37
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It is so great to see you moving on.
38
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Jacob clearly has.
39
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Oh, no. He would've told me
if he was dating someone.
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I'm gonna need a ride to the hospital.
41
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42
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Seriously, I'm fine.
43
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[muffled wincing]
44
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Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
45
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You and your little group
pressured her into putting
46
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:09,707
a bottle up her butt.
47
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My little group?
48
00:02:11,511 --> 00:02:13,671
You were there, and you didn't
do anything to stop her.
49
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Yeah, but I wasn't a part of it.
50
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Oh.
51
00:02:16,716 --> 00:02:18,967
Is Ethical Ethel
not part of the group anymore?
52
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I'm your friend, but I can't
condone cliquey behavior.
53
00:02:22,055 --> 00:02:24,022
Mary Louise, do you hear something?
54
00:02:24,107 --> 00:02:27,025
It sounds like someone's
talking, but I don't see anyone.
55
00:02:27,110 --> 00:02:29,060
- Are you serious?
- Yeah, Cecelia is talking.
56
00:02:29,146 --> 00:02:31,729
- Cecelia is here?
- Oh, where?
57
00:02:31,815 --> 00:02:33,865
I only see people that are in my "group."
58
00:02:33,950 --> 00:02:36,234
You know what, this is
just like in middle school
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00:02:36,319 --> 00:02:38,786
when I wouldn't help
egg Cindy Hirsch's house
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00:02:38,905 --> 00:02:41,789
because it was mean, and I was vegan.
61
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:44,325
[gasps] The notebook is floating!
62
00:02:44,411 --> 00:02:46,911
[laughter]
63
00:02:46,997 --> 00:02:48,963
64
00:02:49,082 --> 00:02:53,082
Siri, are rectal
foreign objects a frequent cause
65
00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:56,387
of emergency room visits? [Tablet chimes]
66
00:02:56,473 --> 00:02:58,806
- Yes.
- Both: Hey.
67
00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:00,808
Turns out Mary Louise isn't alone.
68
00:03:00,927 --> 00:03:02,810
Dude, since when do you have an iPad?
69
00:03:02,929 --> 00:03:04,145
I thought you said they were just
70
00:03:04,264 --> 00:03:05,897
for step dads who were trying to relate.
71
00:03:05,982 --> 00:03:08,233
Yeah, but I got really into Pinterest.
72
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:11,853
You should see my Victorian funeral boards.
73
00:03:11,938 --> 00:03:14,489
- How much did this thing cost?
- Nada.
74
00:03:14,608 --> 00:03:16,941
I lifted it from the lost and found.
75
00:03:17,077 --> 00:03:18,943
As far as I'm concerned,
after three months,
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00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:20,195
it's up for grabs.
77
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,780
It sounds easier than shoplifting,
78
00:03:22,916 --> 00:03:25,533
not that I know anything about shoplifting.
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00:03:25,619 --> 00:03:27,452
I just figured their Lululemon mommies
80
00:03:27,537 --> 00:03:29,120
will buy them new ones.
81
00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:31,873
I did almost all my Christmas
shopping in the lost and found.
82
00:03:31,958 --> 00:03:33,675
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
83
00:03:33,793 --> 00:03:35,793
Anything you can dream of is in there,
84
00:03:35,879 --> 00:03:38,046
and about 300 retainers.
85
00:03:38,131 --> 00:03:41,182
- Hey, have you seen any Heelys?
- What are Heelys?
86
00:03:41,301 --> 00:03:43,518
You know, the shoes
with the wheels in them.
87
00:03:43,637 --> 00:03:44,969
You can walk normally,
88
00:03:45,055 --> 00:03:49,055
then all of a sudden,
you start rolling forever.
89
00:03:49,559 --> 00:03:53,061
I know we're all excited
to learn about clouds today,
90
00:03:53,146 --> 00:03:57,115
but last night, I started to get nostalgic,
91
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,701
and I just thought... yes, Carl?
92
00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:03,819
What does... n-n-n-n-nostalgic mean?
93
00:04:04,491 --> 00:04:05,907
It means a bittersweet longing
94
00:04:05,992 --> 00:04:08,243
for people or things from the past.
95
00:04:08,328 --> 00:04:11,663
Anyway, I ran into some old friends,
96
00:04:11,748 --> 00:04:14,249
and when I got home, I went online
97
00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:17,354
and looked up my
ex-boyfriend Jacob's profile.
98
00:04:17,472 --> 00:04:19,837
But, Ms. Watson, you promised
you wouldn't do that anymore.
99
00:04:19,973 --> 00:04:21,839
- Yeah.
- I know I said that, Beth,
100
00:04:21,925 --> 00:04:24,509
but I'm an adult, and I needed to do this.
101
00:04:24,644 --> 00:04:25,827
Okay.
102
00:04:27,013 --> 00:04:29,847
So, who wants to play a game?
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00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:31,516
[overlapping chatter]
104
00:04:31,651 --> 00:04:33,484
Great.
105
00:04:36,156 --> 00:04:40,156
This game is called
"Friends or More Than Friends."
106
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I'm gonna show you the photos
107
00:04:42,362 --> 00:04:46,362
that Jacob posted online
of him and this girl,
108
00:04:46,449 --> 00:04:49,617
and I want you to tell me
if they look like friends
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00:04:49,703 --> 00:04:52,470
or more than friends, okay?
110
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Friends or more than friends?
111
00:04:58,545 --> 00:05:00,428
All: Friends!
112
00:05:00,547 --> 00:05:03,181
Great.
113
00:05:03,266 --> 00:05:06,351
Friends or more than friends?
114
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:09,937
All: Friends.
115
00:05:10,056 --> 00:05:13,191
Friends or more than friends?
116
00:05:16,313 --> 00:05:19,230
It's okay. You can be honest.
117
00:05:22,068 --> 00:05:24,869
- Yes?
- More than friends?
118
00:05:24,954 --> 00:05:26,654
David, go to the principal's office!
119
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:28,873
- But...
- Now!
120
00:05:31,711 --> 00:05:33,461
[door opens and closes]
121
00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:36,748
Okay.
122
00:05:36,883 --> 00:05:40,585
Friends or more than friends?
123
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,388
All: Friends.
124
00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:44,473
Thank you.
125
00:05:44,507 --> 00:05:45,923
126
00:05:48,978 --> 00:05:50,895
You shouldn't squint so much.
127
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:52,430
You'll start looking like Keith Richards.
128
00:05:52,515 --> 00:05:53,815
Yeah, Keith Richards.
129
00:05:53,933 --> 00:05:55,400
Well, I wouldn't have
to squint if you'd just
130
00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,402
scoot over so I could sit in the shade.
131
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,270
Oh, we'd be perfectly willing
to scoot over,
132
00:05:59,406 --> 00:06:01,072
but then people might think
you're in the clique.
133
00:06:01,157 --> 00:06:02,440
Yeah, the clique.
134
00:06:02,575 --> 00:06:04,492
I will never be in your clique.
135
00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:06,277
Cliques encourage exclusivity,
136
00:06:06,413 --> 00:06:08,112
and I want to promote acceptance.
137
00:06:08,248 --> 00:06:10,365
Well, how about accepting
that your deodorant crystal
138
00:06:10,450 --> 00:06:12,333
can't stand up to 80 degrees in alpaca?
139
00:06:12,452 --> 00:06:14,285
- Yeah, alpaca.
- Okay, you need to stop that.
140
00:06:14,371 --> 00:06:17,171
- Yeah, stop that.
- Seriously?
141
00:06:17,290 --> 00:06:18,539
Oh.
142
00:06:18,625 --> 00:06:21,709
I feel like a sweat lodge
tragedy waiting to happen.
143
00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:23,961
We have plenty of beverages
to cool you down on this side.
144
00:06:24,047 --> 00:06:26,381
In fact, I'm thirsty.
145
00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:28,099
Bottle up your butt, up your butt,
146
00:06:28,184 --> 00:06:31,269
up your butt, up your butt, up your butt.
147
00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:35,890
[sighs] All right.
148
00:06:35,975 --> 00:06:38,059
I can't take it anymore. I'm in.
149
00:06:38,144 --> 00:06:42,144
- Yay!
- I'm so proud of you.
150
00:06:42,282 --> 00:06:44,148
[laughs]
151
00:06:44,234 --> 00:06:46,868
See, isn't it so fun over here?
152
00:06:46,986 --> 00:06:48,820
I'm so happy.
153
00:06:48,955 --> 00:06:50,035
I haven't been this excited
154
00:06:50,123 --> 00:06:51,483
since I convinced David Weinberger
155
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:54,325
to accept Jesus Christ
as his Lord and Savior.
156
00:06:54,461 --> 00:06:55,827
157
00:06:55,912 --> 00:06:59,912
[sobbing]
158
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:05,167
Ms. Watson, I wanted to
introduce you to Ginny Groves.
159
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:10,892
She'll be our substitute
speech therapist for the week.
160
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:12,677
- Hi.
- It's nice to meet you.
161
00:07:12,762 --> 00:07:15,513
- Oh, wow.
- You're here.
162
00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:18,182
You're the l-l-l-l-lady from the p-p-p-p...
163
00:07:18,268 --> 00:07:22,019
Carl, that's enough!
164
00:07:22,155 --> 00:07:24,238
Well, it's great to have you here, Jenny.
165
00:07:24,357 --> 00:07:26,524
- Oh, it's Ginny.
- G-I-N-N-Y.
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00:07:26,659 --> 00:07:27,942
Oh.
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00:07:28,027 --> 00:07:29,777
I would've pronounced that "Giney."
168
00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:32,960
Well, I will be back a little
later to take Carl from you.
169
00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:34,446
Haven't you already taken enough?
170
00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:36,728
- What?
- What?
171
00:07:37,306 --> 00:07:38,986
What?
172
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,841
Ms. Watson, perhaps
you can show Ginny around,
173
00:07:43,927 --> 00:07:45,793
answer any questions Ginny has?
174
00:07:45,879 --> 00:07:47,211
Of course.
175
00:07:47,347 --> 00:07:49,514
And I might even have
some questions for her.
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00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:53,599
[laughs]
177
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:57,174
- Looking forward to it, Giney.
- Ginny.
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00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:58,431
Uh-huh.
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00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:00,725
Okay.
180
00:08:05,281 --> 00:08:07,114
She looks prettier in person.
181
00:08:07,233 --> 00:08:08,733
I want you to go
to the corner and think about
182
00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:11,369
what you just said, okay?
183
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,640
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
184
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,754
Tear it down
185
00:08:19,239 --> 00:08:20,672
That's the famous Jacob.
186
00:08:20,774 --> 00:08:22,207
I can't believe I have to spend the day
187
00:08:22,292 --> 00:08:24,793
with my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend.
188
00:08:24,911 --> 00:08:26,636
Yeah, she sucks.
189
00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,497
What do you think, Cecelia?
190
00:08:29,583 --> 00:08:31,648
You're in the group, aren't you?
191
00:08:37,174 --> 00:08:38,575
Yeah, she's a tramp.
192
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,176
Aww, thank you.
193
00:08:41,261 --> 00:08:43,228
I taught him to do all that stuff.
194
00:08:43,313 --> 00:08:44,562
When he refused to read "The Notebook,"
195
00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:46,097
I played the movie while he slept
196
00:08:46,183 --> 00:08:48,099
so he would subliminally absorb it.
197
00:08:48,185 --> 00:08:49,567
Why did you guys break up again?
198
00:08:49,653 --> 00:08:51,569
I suggested we get a puppy, you know,
199
00:08:51,655 --> 00:08:54,105
to warm him up to the idea of a baby.
200
00:08:54,191 --> 00:08:55,704
But he was so commitment-phobic
201
00:08:55,776 --> 00:08:58,777
that when I brought it up,
he broke up with me over a dog.
202
00:08:58,862 --> 00:09:01,529
- Bastard.
- We were really in love.
203
00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:05,615
I thought we were gonna get married.
204
00:09:06,253 --> 00:09:08,420
Oh, my God!
205
00:09:08,505 --> 00:09:10,121
That hussy is kissing my ex-boyfriend
206
00:09:10,207 --> 00:09:12,173
in front of my school!
207
00:09:12,292 --> 00:09:13,292
Don't worry, girl.
208
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:14,626
- We got your back.
- Yeah.
209
00:09:14,761 --> 00:09:17,128
That bitch better sleep with one eye open,
210
00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:19,013
or I'm gonna stab her in the neck!
211
00:09:19,132 --> 00:09:23,132
212
00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:24,602
This is the teachers' lounge.
213
00:09:24,688 --> 00:09:26,971
Coffee, doughnuts, you get it. Moving on.
214
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,973
Ooh, I love your bracelet.
215
00:09:29,109 --> 00:09:32,060
- Thanks.
- I made it.
216
00:09:32,145 --> 00:09:33,978
A fellow crafter?
217
00:09:34,064 --> 00:09:36,898
- Do you tumble your own stones?
- Uh, yeah.
218
00:09:36,983 --> 00:09:39,367
It's not homemade unless
you tumble your own stones.
219
00:09:39,486 --> 00:09:42,070
- That's what I always say.
- You know what?
220
00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:43,488
I have always wanted to take that class
221
00:09:43,573 --> 00:09:45,573
at the adult learning annex,
but they always fill up.
222
00:09:45,659 --> 00:09:47,992
- Ugh, tell me about it.
- Yes, and when a spot
223
00:09:48,128 --> 00:09:49,488
did open up, it was on a Wednesday
224
00:09:49,546 --> 00:09:51,162
when I have synchronized swimming class.
225
00:09:51,248 --> 00:09:52,330
Oh, my God.
226
00:09:52,415 --> 00:09:53,998
I also do water ballet.
227
00:09:54,084 --> 00:09:55,667
- Okay.
- Hold on.
228
00:09:55,802 --> 00:09:56,918
On the count of three,
229
00:09:57,003 --> 00:09:58,970
say your favorite
synchronized swimming position.
230
00:09:59,055 --> 00:10:00,805
One, two, three.
231
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:04,259
Both: Dolphin arch!
232
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:05,844
Everyone always says, "Flamingo position."
233
00:10:05,929 --> 00:10:07,011
I know, but it is...
234
00:10:07,097 --> 00:10:08,813
both: A total waste of time!
235
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:11,182
[both laugh]
236
00:10:11,318 --> 00:10:13,184
- Wow!
- We have so much in common.
237
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:15,520
You would not believe how many
people don't share my interests!
238
00:10:15,655 --> 00:10:17,522
- I know!
- We should totally hang out.
239
00:10:17,657 --> 00:10:18,523
- Yes!
- You should come
240
00:10:18,658 --> 00:10:19,524
to a wine tasting with me
241
00:10:19,659 --> 00:10:22,527
and my boyfriend sometime!
242
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:25,475
No, I can't.
243
00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:26,977
I'm busy.
244
00:10:27,954 --> 00:10:29,055
Moving on.
245
00:10:30,420 --> 00:10:32,620
Feldman?
246
00:10:32,706 --> 00:10:35,039
Are you trying out
a Harajuku girl lifestyle?
247
00:10:35,125 --> 00:10:36,374
Sorry, dude.
248
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,343
Gotta turn down these sweet jams.
249
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:39,844
Is all this stuff from the lost and found?
250
00:10:39,930 --> 00:10:42,964
- Yeah.
- But clothes can be problematic.
251
00:10:43,049 --> 00:10:44,299
I fit into this vest,
252
00:10:44,384 --> 00:10:46,935
but I had to cut myself
out of a pair of jeans.
253
00:10:47,053 --> 00:10:48,636
You're too obvious.
254
00:10:48,722 --> 00:10:51,272
You're supposed to keep your eye
on an item for a while,
255
00:10:51,391 --> 00:10:52,524
and then steal it.
256
00:10:52,609 --> 00:10:54,726
Chill out, McGruff the Crime Dog.
257
00:10:54,811 --> 00:10:57,529
I rock this stuff
like I was born wearing it.
258
00:10:57,614 --> 00:10:59,280
Hey, my sunglasses!
259
00:10:59,399 --> 00:11:01,482
I've been looking for those!
260
00:11:01,568 --> 00:11:03,651
Well, apparently, you missed my face
261
00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:06,037
because that's where I've been
holding them for you.
262
00:11:06,122 --> 00:11:08,540
- You stole them.
- I'm telling Principal Pearson.
263
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:11,659
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
264
00:11:11,745 --> 00:11:14,045
Here you go.
265
00:11:19,085 --> 00:11:22,253
And here's an iPad to keep quiet.
266
00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:27,425
- What?
- One kid noticed.
267
00:11:27,510 --> 00:11:30,929
- Hey, that's my vest!
- I'm telling!
268
00:11:31,064 --> 00:11:34,432
Principal Pearson! Principal Pearson!
269
00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,434
Then Tucky surprised me the other day
270
00:11:36,519 --> 00:11:38,686
with a hot air balloon ride.
271
00:11:38,772 --> 00:11:39,938
"Tucky"?
272
00:11:40,073 --> 00:11:42,273
Oh, I started calling Jacob
that after he surprised me
273
00:11:42,359 --> 00:11:44,242
with a trip to Nantucket. Tucky!
274
00:11:44,327 --> 00:11:45,827
Have you ever been there?
275
00:11:45,946 --> 00:11:46,694
Yeah.
276
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:48,446
It's my favorite island.
277
00:11:48,531 --> 00:11:51,199
Oh, he's the best.
278
00:11:51,284 --> 00:11:54,085
Wow. Sounds like he doesn't have any flaws
279
00:11:54,170 --> 00:11:56,588
like not putting back
your decorative pillows
280
00:11:56,673 --> 00:11:58,172
after he makes the bed or forgetting
281
00:11:58,291 --> 00:12:00,675
to use your rose-petal room mist
after using the bathroom.
282
00:12:00,794 --> 00:12:02,927
Oh, he used to do stuff
like that all the time,
283
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,263
but not anymore.
284
00:12:05,348 --> 00:12:07,657
He said he wanted to change for me.
285
00:12:09,135 --> 00:12:10,518
- Amazing.
- Although,
286
00:12:10,637 --> 00:12:12,891
there is one thing about him
that drives me nuts.
287
00:12:12,975 --> 00:12:15,974
- Great.
- I mean, what is it?
288
00:12:16,059 --> 00:12:17,308
He's too involved.
289
00:12:17,394 --> 00:12:19,978
Sometimes I'm like,
"Okay, just because I'm reading
290
00:12:20,063 --> 00:12:22,264
all of Nicholas Sparks' books
doesn't mean you have to."
291
00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:24,616
[laughs] Right?
292
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:26,596
Right.
293
00:12:28,154 --> 00:12:29,821
[grunts]
294
00:12:29,956 --> 00:12:33,157
This potholder is taking forever.
295
00:12:33,243 --> 00:12:36,911
Oh, I just finished mine.
296
00:12:36,997 --> 00:12:38,663
The T is for "Tucky."
297
00:12:43,586 --> 00:12:46,054
You know what you and Tucky should do?
298
00:12:46,172 --> 00:12:47,505
What?
299
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:51,058
You should adopt a dog.
300
00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:52,628
Aww.
301
00:12:53,003 --> 00:12:55,313
[laughter]
302
00:12:55,398 --> 00:12:56,597
This will teach her to date
303
00:12:56,683 --> 00:12:58,316
one of our friends' ex-boyfriends!
304
00:12:58,401 --> 00:12:59,767
[laughter]
305
00:12:59,853 --> 00:13:00,935
You spelled the name wrong.
306
00:13:01,021 --> 00:13:02,353
It's Ginny with a G.
307
00:13:02,489 --> 00:13:04,188
- I know.
- I'm being mean.
308
00:13:04,324 --> 00:13:06,691
[laughter]
309
00:13:06,776 --> 00:13:09,360
I just took a dump in her desk.
310
00:13:09,446 --> 00:13:11,362
Oh, my God.
311
00:13:11,448 --> 00:13:12,780
It's not even her desk.
312
00:13:12,866 --> 00:13:15,199
- She's a sub.
- This clique rules!
313
00:13:15,285 --> 00:13:17,535
I don't know why I didn't
do this in middle school.
314
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:19,003
[gasps] Oh, my God!
315
00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:20,838
Have you guys seen the movie "Carrie"?
316
00:13:20,924 --> 00:13:24,709
I have pig's blood in my trunk
from my last protest.
317
00:13:24,844 --> 00:13:26,177
I'll be right back!
318
00:13:26,262 --> 00:13:28,796
319
00:13:31,485 --> 00:13:32,734
Tear it down
320
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,152
[rock music]
321
00:13:34,238 --> 00:13:35,871
Tear it down
322
00:13:35,956 --> 00:13:37,956
[sobbing] Oh, there you are.
323
00:13:38,075 --> 00:13:39,475
I've been looking all over for you.
324
00:13:39,543 --> 00:13:41,076
What's wrong?
325
00:13:41,161 --> 00:13:43,745
Did you get shut out
of the herbal soap making class?
326
00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:47,749
- No.
- Jacob and I broke up.
327
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,135
I just feel sick.
328
00:13:50,254 --> 00:13:53,088
[sobbing]
329
00:13:53,223 --> 00:13:54,556
What happened?
330
00:13:54,641 --> 00:13:57,058
Last night, we got home
from a couple's cooking class.
331
00:13:57,144 --> 00:13:58,927
- You guys go to cooking class?
- Yeah.
332
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:02,597
And everything was going fine
until I decided to bring up
333
00:14:02,683 --> 00:14:04,099
getting a dog like you suggested.
334
00:14:04,184 --> 00:14:07,102
- Uh-huh?
- And he totally freaked out,
335
00:14:07,237 --> 00:14:08,853
and he said that that was exactly
336
00:14:08,939 --> 00:14:10,989
what happened with his ex.
337
00:14:11,108 --> 00:14:13,024
[sobbing]
338
00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:15,694
Did he say anything else about her?
339
00:14:15,779 --> 00:14:18,613
- What?
- No.
340
00:14:18,699 --> 00:14:21,449
And then, before I knew it, he was just...
341
00:14:21,535 --> 00:14:23,785
he said it was over!
342
00:14:23,870 --> 00:14:25,787
And then, this morning, I get here,
343
00:14:25,923 --> 00:14:28,540
and some students had vandalized my office.
344
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:31,092
- That's terrible.
- Someone actually defecated
345
00:14:31,178 --> 00:14:33,128
- in my desk drawer.
- Oh, my God.
346
00:14:33,213 --> 00:14:35,013
And I'm pretty sure they were vegan
347
00:14:35,132 --> 00:14:38,466
'cause the smell was awful.
348
00:14:38,552 --> 00:14:40,518
Oh, my God.
349
00:14:40,637 --> 00:14:43,972
And I just... ugh!
350
00:14:44,057 --> 00:14:47,892
I've never had my heart broken
like this before.
351
00:14:47,978 --> 00:14:50,228
I thought he was the one.
352
00:14:50,314 --> 00:14:52,981
I know.
353
00:14:53,116 --> 00:14:55,817
It's the worst feeling.
354
00:14:58,205 --> 00:15:00,872
I've got to go disinfect my desk.
355
00:15:00,991 --> 00:15:03,074
But maybe we can talk later?
356
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,626
Sure.
357
00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:07,829
Okay.
358
00:15:07,965 --> 00:15:10,749
You're an angel.
359
00:15:13,670 --> 00:15:16,504
I'm a monster.
360
00:15:16,590 --> 00:15:19,007
- Crap!
- Did I miss her?
361
00:15:20,894 --> 00:15:22,644
No running!
362
00:15:22,729 --> 00:15:26,481
Dude, I'm sorry I derailed
your lost and found gravy train.
363
00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:28,850
- It's okay.
- I knew it was too good to last.
364
00:15:28,935 --> 00:15:30,435
You put all your stuff back?
365
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,570
- Yeah.
- My husband's gonna be pissed
366
00:15:32,689 --> 00:15:34,356
when he realizes half our Xbox games
367
00:15:34,491 --> 00:15:36,775
and our stash of ADD meds are gone.
368
00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:38,743
- Hmm.
- Did you return everything?
369
00:15:38,862 --> 00:15:40,612
- Yeah.
- Really?
370
00:15:40,697 --> 00:15:42,364
- Mm-hmm.
- Feldman.
371
00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:43,832
Smell you later.
372
00:15:43,917 --> 00:15:47,035
[uplifting music]
373
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:50,088
374
00:15:50,207 --> 00:15:52,173
You bounce back surprisingly quickly
375
00:15:52,259 --> 00:15:53,875
after putting a bottle up your butt.
376
00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,543
You know, the human body's pretty amazing,
377
00:15:55,629 --> 00:15:56,878
the way it heals itself.
378
00:15:56,963 --> 00:15:58,129
Oh, my God, you guys!
379
00:15:58,215 --> 00:15:59,631
Guess what! Hey!
380
00:15:59,716 --> 00:16:01,549
What did I tell you, you bald freak?
381
00:16:01,635 --> 00:16:03,134
You don't sit at our table!
382
00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:05,353
Get the hell out of here!
383
00:16:07,724 --> 00:16:09,808
[laughs]
384
00:16:09,893 --> 00:16:12,560
- What is wrong with you?
- That is Mr. Spinnoli.
385
00:16:12,646 --> 00:16:14,562
He teaches special ed.
386
00:16:14,648 --> 00:16:15,910
- So?
- Okay.
387
00:16:15,995 --> 00:16:16,995
I can't take it anymore.
388
00:16:17,067 --> 00:16:18,650
- I am dissolving this clique.
- What?
389
00:16:18,702 --> 00:16:19,734
You are out of control.
390
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:21,786
This morning's desk incident?
391
00:16:21,905 --> 00:16:23,121
Who can poop on cue?
392
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,123
I doubled up on my mung beans.
393
00:16:25,242 --> 00:16:26,875
This clique used to be fun,
394
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,327
- but now it's kind of scary.
- Yeah.
395
00:16:29,413 --> 00:16:31,746
I dated a Latin King once,
and it was not this bad.
396
00:16:31,882 --> 00:16:33,381
- So we're done?
- Yeah.
397
00:16:33,467 --> 00:16:34,467
We are done.
398
00:16:35,419 --> 00:16:36,419
Good.
399
00:16:36,887 --> 00:16:38,336
I'm glad I made my point.
400
00:16:38,422 --> 00:16:39,656
What point?
401
00:16:43,093 --> 00:16:45,310
I decided the best way to show you
402
00:16:45,429 --> 00:16:47,645
how awful cliques were
was to infiltrate yours
403
00:16:47,764 --> 00:16:50,014
and mimic your behavior...
404
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,767
to affect social change.
405
00:16:52,903 --> 00:16:56,187
- Right.
- You took a dump for change.
406
00:16:58,358 --> 00:16:59,824
I just can't believe it's over.
407
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:01,276
Don't beat yourself up.
408
00:17:01,361 --> 00:17:03,778
It's perfectly reasonable to want a dog.
409
00:17:03,864 --> 00:17:05,613
You're absolutely right, Caroline.
410
00:17:05,749 --> 00:17:07,699
You know what? I am so glad we met.
411
00:17:07,784 --> 00:17:10,535
You... you have been such a great friend.
412
00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:17,790
- Actually, that's not true.
- Listen...
413
00:17:18,261 --> 00:17:20,295
- Excuse me.
- Where's the teachers' lounge?
414
00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:23,631
Oh, thank you. Thank you.
415
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:25,850
- Oh, my pen!
- What?
416
00:17:25,969 --> 00:17:28,803
Ginny.
417
00:17:28,939 --> 00:17:29,939
I need to talk to you.
418
00:17:29,973 --> 00:17:31,639
Jacob, what are you doing here?
419
00:17:31,775 --> 00:17:33,358
I freaked out yesterday.
420
00:17:33,477 --> 00:17:34,609
I-I blew it.
421
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:35,977
Did you get me a puppy?
422
00:17:36,062 --> 00:17:40,062
No, I got us a puppy.
423
00:17:41,735 --> 00:17:45,069
And that's not all. Here.
424
00:17:45,155 --> 00:17:48,957
I've never met another woman like you.
425
00:17:49,042 --> 00:17:50,992
No one has ever measured up to you.
426
00:17:51,128 --> 00:17:53,461
No one ever will.
427
00:17:53,547 --> 00:17:57,547
Virginia Anne Groves... will you marry me?
428
00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:00,718
Tucky!
429
00:18:00,837 --> 00:18:03,888
Yes! Yes!
430
00:18:04,007 --> 00:18:05,673
Are you kidding me?
431
00:18:05,759 --> 00:18:08,843
Did you seriously just propose
at my school?
432
00:18:08,929 --> 00:18:11,513
I did everything for you.
433
00:18:11,598 --> 00:18:14,732
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
434
00:18:14,851 --> 00:18:15,900
Eat [bleep]!
435
00:18:16,019 --> 00:18:17,819
You, sir, can eat [bleep]!
436
00:18:17,904 --> 00:18:18,937
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
437
00:18:19,022 --> 00:18:20,188
Eat all of the [bleep]!
438
00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:21,189
Just eat it!
439
00:18:21,274 --> 00:18:22,524
You're a [bleep] eater!
440
00:18:22,609 --> 00:18:24,025
Eat [bleep]! Eat [bleep]!
441
00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:26,528
Eat it! Eat [bleep]!
442
00:18:31,251 --> 00:18:32,867
Ginny...
443
00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:37,003
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
444
00:18:37,374 --> 00:18:41,374
This is a really great dog.
445
00:18:42,212 --> 00:18:44,512
Jacob, you can eat [bleep].
446
00:18:44,598 --> 00:18:46,514
Yeah.
447
00:18:50,053 --> 00:18:52,220
[rock music]
448
00:18:54,852 --> 00:18:57,402
Tear it down
449
00:18:57,521 --> 00:19:00,071
- Rough day, sister.
- How you holding up?
450
00:19:00,190 --> 00:19:01,273
I'm fine.
451
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:03,191
I think I handled it really well.
452
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:04,493
Besides, she needs to get married
453
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,862
so she can change her last name.
454
00:19:06,997 --> 00:19:08,697
Virginia Ann Groves?
455
00:19:08,832 --> 00:19:10,198
Her monogram is VAG.
456
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:12,083
[women giggling]
457
00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:15,420
[indistinct chatter]
458
00:19:15,539 --> 00:19:17,899
I'll be right back.
459
00:19:19,376 --> 00:19:21,042
- Hello.
- Caroline.
460
00:19:21,178 --> 00:19:23,094
- We'd hoped we'd see you here.
- Oh, why?
461
00:19:23,213 --> 00:19:26,097
So you could rub it in my face
that I'm still single?
462
00:19:26,216 --> 00:19:27,516
Well, guess what.
463
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,134
Jacob got engaged to another woman today,
464
00:19:29,219 --> 00:19:30,719
and I actually helped.
465
00:19:30,804 --> 00:19:33,305
And I realized I don't need to get married.
466
00:19:33,390 --> 00:19:34,773
I don't need a man.
467
00:19:34,892 --> 00:19:36,389
I don't need anyone.
468
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:39,438
I can sit at home all day
watching international...
469
00:19:39,494 --> 00:19:41,352
Is that what I want to do?
470
00:19:41,415 --> 00:19:42,844
I'm a survivor.
471
00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:44,531
I listen to Beyonc?.
472
00:19:44,579 --> 00:19:47,406
So... bow down bitches!
473
00:19:48,336 --> 00:19:50,336
We were going to give you
my brother's number.
474
00:19:50,422 --> 00:19:52,422
He is a surgeon.
475
00:19:52,547 --> 00:19:54,547
And I now glad to take it.
476
00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:59,147
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