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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,112 --> 00:00:01,046 [rock music] 2 00:00:01,359 --> 00:00:05,781 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 3 00:00:07,336 --> 00:00:10,579 4 00:00:10,712 --> 00:00:13,379 Caroline, you look like a country music star. 5 00:00:13,465 --> 00:00:14,964 How'd you get those curls? 6 00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,016 I slept sitting up with Coke cans in my hair, 7 00:00:17,135 --> 00:00:20,637 but it was worth it. These pictures last forever. 8 00:00:20,722 --> 00:00:22,105 Pictures? 9 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:25,108 Oh, my God. How could you forget about Picture Day? 10 00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:28,778 I gave myself a colonic and full body exfoliation just to prepare. 11 00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,113 What are you slathering yourself with? 12 00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,148 Self tanner. It takes a while to set, 13 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,566 but by this afternoon, I will be 14 00:00:33,652 --> 00:00:35,118 intriguingly ethnically ambiguous. 15 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,286 Dudes, my pic is gonna look jacked. 16 00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:39,656 I haven't had my eyebrows done in three weeks. 17 00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:40,957 You look naturally beautiful. 18 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,575 You look like a '70s vagina with eyes, 19 00:00:42,661 --> 00:00:43,960 but don't worry. 20 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,578 I have an emergency waxing kit in my desk. 21 00:00:45,664 --> 00:00:46,746 I can totally fix them. 22 00:00:46,831 --> 00:00:48,164 Thanks. 23 00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:51,501 Morning, ladies, you all look really nice. 24 00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:53,169 Feldman. 25 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,054 I just wanted to stop by to tell you 26 00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:57,807 that we've hired a new photographer this year, 27 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:01,678 Don LaRondasack. No more Geoff with a G. 28 00:01:01,763 --> 00:01:03,012 Oh, but I liked Geoff with a G. 29 00:01:03,098 --> 00:01:04,397 He always put me at ease. 30 00:01:04,516 --> 00:01:06,315 I get really self-conscious having my picture taken. 31 00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:08,518 Well, I'm sure this LaRondasack fellow 32 00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:10,019 will be just fine. 33 00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:13,356 He's got a firm hand-shake, looks like he works out, 34 00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,775 nice smile. 35 00:01:17,362 --> 00:01:20,997 Anyway, it's time to announce whose class gets the honor 36 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:24,033 of having their photo taken with our mascot, Millard. 37 00:01:24,169 --> 00:01:26,703 He's not a mascot. He's an "ig-whuana," 38 00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:28,287 and he shouldn't be paraded around like a trophy 39 00:01:28,373 --> 00:01:31,007 by the winning class each year. It makes me sick. 40 00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,209 Well, I love it, and I really need a win. 41 00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:36,429 This could turn my year around. 42 00:01:36,548 --> 00:01:40,183 There's only so much Chardonnay and cough syrup can do. 43 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:44,854 The winner of the school spirit prize is... 44 00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,222 Ms. Watson's class! 45 00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,023 Oh! 46 00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,808 [gasps] Oh, my God! 47 00:01:48,893 --> 00:01:50,276 Oh, my God! Oh, my... 48 00:01:50,395 --> 00:01:51,894 Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you. 49 00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,279 Thank you, thank you so much. 50 00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:54,897 Oh, my God, this is gonna change everything! 51 00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:56,949 Easy, tiger. It's just a dumb iguana. 52 00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:59,402 Nobody likes a sore loser, Deb, especially a winner, 53 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,071 and I am the winner! I am the winner! 54 00:02:02,207 --> 00:02:05,958 I am the winner! I did it! Yeah! 55 00:02:06,077 --> 00:02:09,128 In your face! In your face! In your face! 56 00:02:09,247 --> 00:02:11,080 Oh, cool. I didn't think that you were gonna do me. 57 00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:16,252 Yes! Oh, how you like me now? Oh, yeah! Yeah! 58 00:02:20,258 --> 00:02:22,175 God, that stuff is making this whole room 59 00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:24,343 smell like a sloppy sorority girl. 60 00:02:24,429 --> 00:02:26,763 Thank you, but I can't wax you right now. 61 00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,481 I'm in the middle of my own crisis. 62 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,517 I'm still not the right shade. I'm supposed to be Camel Taupe. 63 00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:34,520 No, camel toe isn't a color, it's a shape. 64 00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:36,439 Camel Taupe, with a "P"! 65 00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,440 Oh. 66 00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,775 [sighs] I'm getting carpal tunnel 67 00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:40,159 trying to deal with this streaky mess. 68 00:02:40,278 --> 00:02:42,245 Oh, here, I'll help. 69 00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,615 I'll do it everywhere so it all looks the same. 70 00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:46,949 Just make sure it looks good. 71 00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:49,001 Oh, don't worry, I got this. 72 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,920 I had to paint a rec center one summer 73 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,122 for community service. 74 00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:56,209 There she goes. 75 00:02:56,294 --> 00:02:57,960 Okay, Cinderella, do me a favor. 76 00:02:58,046 --> 00:02:59,462 I want you to look at the birdie. 77 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,513 Where's the birdie? 78 00:03:00,632 --> 00:03:02,548 That's not a birdie, that's my hand! 79 00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:03,800 - What? Come on. - [laughs] 80 00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:05,935 Great job. Next! 81 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:08,638 Hi. 82 00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,473 Hi. I just want to warn you 83 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,975 I get a little nervous when I have my picture taken. 84 00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:14,777 Oh. Well, there's no need to worry. 85 00:03:14,863 --> 00:03:17,730 Old Don's gonna make sure that you're very well taken care of. 86 00:03:17,816 --> 00:03:19,649 All you gotta do is sit back and relax. 87 00:03:19,805 --> 00:03:21,701 - Okay. - All right. Now, normally, 88 00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:22,819 at this point, I would say, "Cheese," 89 00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:23,870 but you're not a mouse. 90 00:03:23,988 --> 00:03:25,955 - [laughs] - There it is. 91 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,658 Oh. What are you worried about? 92 00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,743 You have a very captivating smile. 93 00:03:30,829 --> 00:03:32,161 It's very nice. 94 00:03:32,247 --> 00:03:33,996 You know what? Let's take another one, 95 00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:37,250 all right? All right, this time, um... 96 00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:39,001 just shake your jaw loose. Kind of give me a little... 97 00:03:39,087 --> 00:03:40,386 - [both blubbering] - There you go, 98 00:03:40,505 --> 00:03:41,754 and while you're doing that, then just kind of... 99 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,673 Do that, push out your lips. Just... 100 00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:45,675 Yeah, just like... like you're tasting something sour, 101 00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,677 you know? Yeah, there you go. 102 00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:49,979 Very nice, very nice. Um... 103 00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,347 I don't know, arch your back maybe, just... 104 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,599 Yeah, I want you sitting up straight and tall, 105 00:03:53,685 --> 00:03:55,318 very confident, very... strong. 106 00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,019 There you go, arch that back. 107 00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,521 Nice, now give me a little twist. 108 00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,022 Maybe lower the shoulder a little bit. Yeah, that's it. 109 00:04:00,158 --> 00:04:01,190 Don't... don't lose the lips. 110 00:04:01,326 --> 00:04:03,075 Something sour. Mmm, what's going on? 111 00:04:03,194 --> 00:04:05,494 I don't know, yeah, you nasty little slut. 112 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:06,696 Okay. [Laughs] 113 00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,164 Great. Well done, very nice. 114 00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,949 We're done here. Next. 115 00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:14,203 You look like a baseball player. Am I right? Huh? 116 00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:20,960 Blake? 117 00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:23,963 Can I talk to you for a minute? 118 00:04:29,888 --> 00:04:31,554 Where did you get that shirt? 119 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,356 My mom sent it to me from Myrtle Beach. 120 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,475 Oh. So your mom and dad are still separated? 121 00:04:36,561 --> 00:04:37,610 Yeah. 122 00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:38,811 Your poor father. 123 00:04:38,897 --> 00:04:40,780 He's such a nice, caring, perfect man. 124 00:04:40,899 --> 00:04:43,566 It must be lonely for him... 125 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:44,901 and for you. 126 00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,068 Is that what you wanted to talk about? 127 00:04:46,204 --> 00:04:48,237 No. I'm just concerned 128 00:04:48,323 --> 00:04:50,289 that only the first word on your shirt 129 00:04:50,408 --> 00:04:53,793 will show in the photo, you know what I mean? 130 00:04:53,912 --> 00:04:56,162 No. 131 00:04:56,247 --> 00:04:57,580 I'll just call your dad and have him 132 00:04:57,605 --> 00:04:58,915 bring you another shirt. 133 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,249 - I'll call... - I'll call him. 134 00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:02,084 - I'll call him... - I'll call him. 135 00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:09,008 Now I know for some of us, it's been 136 00:05:09,093 --> 00:05:13,813 an emotionally exhausting year fraught with disappointment, 137 00:05:13,932 --> 00:05:16,098 and we thought that getting our class picture taken 138 00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,267 with Millard would finally get the pendulum 139 00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:20,519 swinging in the other direction, 140 00:05:20,605 --> 00:05:24,657 but sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, 141 00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:28,861 and unfortunately, today, I have some sad news... 142 00:05:28,947 --> 00:05:32,081 For the other classes... because we won! 143 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,450 [all cheering] 144 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,751 Oh! oh! 145 00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:38,170 We love you, Ms. Watson! 146 00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:40,957 It's the best day of my life! 147 00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:42,291 Millard! 148 00:05:42,377 --> 00:05:46,462 All: Millard! Millard! Millard! Millard! 149 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,297 Millard! Millard! 150 00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,933 [trailing off] Millard. Millard. 151 00:05:51,019 --> 00:05:53,602 He's not doing anything. 152 00:05:53,705 --> 00:05:55,471 Well, I think he's asleep. 153 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,773 Maybe you could wake him up, Rodney? 154 00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:08,150 Maybe tap a little harder? 155 00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:12,455 Millard's dead! 156 00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,956 [all screaming] 157 00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:17,460 Oh. Oh. Okay. 158 00:06:22,951 --> 00:06:25,652 I know for some of us, we thought that this was 159 00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:28,538 going to pull us out of an emotional nose dive, 160 00:06:28,657 --> 00:06:32,709 but Millard has passed away. 161 00:06:32,828 --> 00:06:35,113 Has anyone ever had a pet die before? 162 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:36,884 David? 163 00:06:36,969 --> 00:06:38,585 Pets don't die. My mom said 164 00:06:38,671 --> 00:06:40,721 all of my hermit crabs went to the farm. 165 00:06:40,896 --> 00:06:43,597 There's no farm, dummy. They're dead. 166 00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:46,350 Rodney, that's enough. 167 00:06:46,435 --> 00:06:49,987 David, I think it's really nice that your mom told you 168 00:06:50,072 --> 00:06:53,073 there's a farm. It's a wonderful thought. 169 00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:55,859 So there's no farm? 170 00:06:55,995 --> 00:06:57,027 I didn't say that. 171 00:06:57,163 --> 00:06:58,779 What are you gonna tell me next, 172 00:06:58,864 --> 00:07:01,365 there's no Santa Claus? 173 00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:07,871 Why are you taking so long to answer? 174 00:07:10,676 --> 00:07:11,925 Poor Millard. 175 00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:14,044 I know. I tried to talk to my students 176 00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:16,213 about death, but then I ruined Christmas. 177 00:07:16,298 --> 00:07:19,049 Just order them a pizza. This just in, 178 00:07:19,135 --> 00:07:21,051 kids love pizza. [Scoffs] 179 00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:22,886 You could tell them about heaven, 180 00:07:23,037 --> 00:07:26,538 but apparently, that's "illegal" in schools. 181 00:07:26,624 --> 00:07:29,925 All I can say is, we better watch our backs. 182 00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,043 Millard's number one. 183 00:07:31,128 --> 00:07:32,427 What are you talking about? 184 00:07:32,513 --> 00:07:33,345 Rule of threes. 185 00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:35,097 Death always comes in threes. 186 00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:36,465 - No, that's a myth. - Maybe you should celebrate. 187 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,517 Millard's life by having a ceremony. 188 00:07:38,636 --> 00:07:39,768 That's a really good idea. 189 00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:41,019 Hey, did the photographer say 190 00:07:41,138 --> 00:07:42,888 anything inappropriate to any of you? 191 00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:44,356 I haven't had my picture taken yet. 192 00:07:44,475 --> 00:07:47,226 I still gotta deal with these mustaches over my eyes. 193 00:07:47,311 --> 00:07:49,303 He was really nice to me. Is something wrong? 194 00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,725 Yeah, you know what? There is. 195 00:07:51,811 --> 00:07:53,733 I will not be treated like a piece of meat. 196 00:07:57,371 --> 00:07:58,370 [door closing] 197 00:07:58,415 --> 00:08:02,083 So where'd we land on the pizza? 198 00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:04,586 Don? Do you have a minute? 199 00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:08,840 Well, I'm here all day, so I've got 1,440 of them, 200 00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:11,142 to be exact. [Laughs] 201 00:08:11,261 --> 00:08:12,727 That's how many minutes are in a day. 202 00:08:12,812 --> 00:08:15,313 - Yeah, I got that. - Okay. 203 00:08:15,432 --> 00:08:17,982 I just want you to know... 204 00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:19,934 I was not amused by what you said to me. 205 00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,270 Ugh. The mouse joke, huh? 206 00:08:22,405 --> 00:08:23,438 I know, I'm sorry. 207 00:08:23,573 --> 00:08:24,739 No. 208 00:08:24,824 --> 00:08:28,109 You called me a... nasty little slut. 209 00:08:28,245 --> 00:08:29,911 I did? 210 00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:31,112 I do not recall that. 211 00:08:31,248 --> 00:08:34,082 I feel that you saw I was nervous 212 00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,617 and preyed on my insecurity. 213 00:08:35,702 --> 00:08:39,921 Well, wow, I... definitely didn't mean to upset you, 214 00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:43,041 and I sure didn't want to cause any offense. 215 00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:46,186 I have a sister, so I really respect women. 216 00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:47,296 Okay. 217 00:08:47,382 --> 00:08:49,347 Let me make it up to you, okay? 218 00:08:49,466 --> 00:08:51,266 Let me just take another picture of you. 219 00:08:51,351 --> 00:08:53,968 It'll be fine, it'll be... I want you to be comfortable. 220 00:08:54,104 --> 00:08:56,638 I want this to be a good experience. 221 00:08:56,773 --> 00:08:58,856 - Okay. - Okay, there you go. 222 00:08:58,975 --> 00:09:00,308 If you don't mind, say, "Cheese." 223 00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:02,277 Unless you're lactose intolerant! 224 00:09:03,313 --> 00:09:04,479 All right. 225 00:09:04,564 --> 00:09:06,814 Oh, great. We're all set. 226 00:09:07,951 --> 00:09:10,902 Hit the bricks, you dirty little hooker. 227 00:09:10,987 --> 00:09:12,120 [gasps] 228 00:09:12,205 --> 00:09:13,538 Okey dokey, Smokey, who's next? 229 00:09:13,657 --> 00:09:16,491 Get in here! Wow, look at you. 230 00:09:16,626 --> 00:09:18,710 [bagpipes playing] 231 00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,712 [grunts] 232 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,164 Oh, Danny boy 233 00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:28,169 The pipes, the pipes are calling 234 00:09:28,305 --> 00:09:31,639 Did you guys know that art can happen anywhere? 235 00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:33,424 Yeah, it can. 236 00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:37,512 That's why we have things like flash mobs and graffiti. 237 00:09:37,647 --> 00:09:40,406 Can anyone else give me some other examples of art? 238 00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:41,685 Good, yeah. Lucas? 239 00:09:41,804 --> 00:09:43,508 Well, artists like Jackson Pollock 240 00:09:43,593 --> 00:09:45,987 and Wassily Kandinksy demonstrated 241 00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:47,689 that we do not need to accurately represent... 242 00:09:47,824 --> 00:09:49,524 If anyone has an extra video game, 243 00:09:49,659 --> 00:09:52,410 it sounds like Lucas could really use one. 244 00:09:52,529 --> 00:09:55,029 All right, guys, now we're going to see 245 00:09:55,115 --> 00:09:56,948 art happen right in front of us. 246 00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,416 Crazy, right? 247 00:09:58,535 --> 00:10:01,536 Ms. Snap is going to wax my eyebrows. 248 00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:03,838 Just so you know, I don't normally look like this. 249 00:10:03,923 --> 00:10:06,291 When my tan sets, I will look like J-Lo. 250 00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:07,908 This is gonna be really fun. 251 00:10:07,933 --> 00:10:11,546 It's like arts and crafts, but on my face. 252 00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:13,931 Wow, that was impressive. 253 00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,266 When I have something personal to do, 254 00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:17,185 I just tell my kids to zip it and silent-read. 255 00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:19,971 Oh, yeah, I can turn anything into a lesson. 256 00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:21,806 Tomorrow I'm teaching math by having them 257 00:10:21,891 --> 00:10:23,891 add up my tax receipts. 258 00:10:23,977 --> 00:10:26,728 [whispering] Here we go. 259 00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:30,448 Okay, one, two, three! 260 00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,534 Oh! 261 00:10:39,199 --> 00:10:42,784 Art. 262 00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:46,838 Since when do you do makeup? 263 00:10:46,957 --> 00:10:50,959 I have to fix my eyebrows. Snap gave my face a Brazilian. 264 00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:52,878 [sighs] 265 00:10:52,963 --> 00:10:55,680 What's wrong? Did someone put compost in the recycling? 266 00:10:55,799 --> 00:10:57,766 No. This morning, the photographer called me 267 00:10:57,851 --> 00:10:59,134 a "nasty little slut." 268 00:10:59,269 --> 00:11:00,802 Wait, what? 269 00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:02,554 Yeah, and when I went to go talk to him about it later, 270 00:11:02,639 --> 00:11:04,773 he called me a "dirty little hooker." 271 00:11:04,858 --> 00:11:06,641 I know. I was shocked too. 272 00:11:06,727 --> 00:11:09,311 Oh, hell no! If he thinks he's gonna get away 273 00:11:09,446 --> 00:11:13,114 with that Cosby crap, he's got another think coming. 274 00:11:14,401 --> 00:11:16,234 You don't think she's gonna hurt him, do you? 275 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,702 Probably. 276 00:11:17,821 --> 00:11:20,655 She nut-punched Mr. Werner for taking her parking space. 277 00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:21,873 Although in her defense, she did have 278 00:11:21,992 --> 00:11:23,625 a ten-day period that month. 279 00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:26,828 [humming] 280 00:11:31,385 --> 00:11:32,667 Ms. Bennigan? 281 00:11:32,753 --> 00:11:34,219 [whispering] Hot Dad. 282 00:11:34,338 --> 00:11:35,553 - What? - Hmm? 283 00:11:35,672 --> 00:11:37,889 Nothing. Hey, you. 284 00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:40,175 I got your voice-mail, I came down as soon as I could. 285 00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:41,309 Thank you so much. 286 00:11:44,147 --> 00:11:46,314 Did you bring a new shirt for Blake? 287 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,849 Shirt? In your message, 288 00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:49,017 you just said to come down to the school and hung up. 289 00:11:49,102 --> 00:11:50,518 It sounded like an emergency. 290 00:11:50,604 --> 00:11:53,104 Oh, um, it is. 291 00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:57,108 You see, what Blake's shirt says is inappropriate. 292 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,076 What does it say? 293 00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,694 Well... [chuckles] 294 00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,029 You know what shirt he was wearing. 295 00:12:01,164 --> 00:12:03,365 I don't. I'm sorry, 296 00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:06,084 still trying to get used to this whole single dad thing. 297 00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,619 [laughs nervously] 298 00:12:07,704 --> 00:12:09,371 Are you all right? You're turning really red. 299 00:12:09,456 --> 00:12:11,840 Dick! 300 00:12:11,925 --> 00:12:14,793 His shirt says "Dick. Mack's. 301 00:12:14,878 --> 00:12:19,381 Dick Mack's Crab Shack." [laughs] 302 00:12:19,466 --> 00:12:21,516 And today is picture day. 303 00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:23,385 Oh, God. I didn't even realize. 304 00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,357 When are the photos? 305 00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,520 They're in line at the cafeteria 306 00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:26,521 to take them right now. 307 00:12:26,606 --> 00:12:28,023 [sighs] Well, 308 00:12:28,108 --> 00:12:30,058 there's no way I can get back to the house in time. 309 00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:31,810 And we can't have him wearing that shirt. 310 00:12:31,895 --> 00:12:34,529 No. We can't. 311 00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:36,731 You know what? 312 00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:38,900 It's gonna be a little big on him, but... 313 00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:41,820 [groans] 314 00:12:41,905 --> 00:12:43,238 He can wear this. 315 00:12:46,493 --> 00:12:49,377 [laughs] 316 00:12:49,463 --> 00:12:50,328 You all right? 317 00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:51,663 [laughs] 318 00:12:51,748 --> 00:12:53,748 I'm fine. [Laughs] 319 00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:56,584 I'll be back right... [laughs] 320 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,086 I'll be back ri... 321 00:12:58,221 --> 00:13:00,922 I'ma be right back. [Laughs] Okay. 322 00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:09,931 Today has been a hard day. 323 00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,318 But you know, Millard isn't gone forever. 324 00:13:13,437 --> 00:13:15,653 Even though he's not here physically, 325 00:13:15,772 --> 00:13:18,940 his spirit is actually everywhere. 326 00:13:19,076 --> 00:13:20,442 Now, why don't we lay him to rest 327 00:13:20,577 --> 00:13:23,745 so he can finally be free? 328 00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:41,212 Oh, my God! It's the old Millard! 329 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,681 Okay, let's just calm down, everyone. 330 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,968 [all screaming] 331 00:13:55,682 --> 00:13:57,582 Hey! You just ruined 332 00:13:57,717 --> 00:13:59,417 the most important day of the year for me. 333 00:13:59,502 --> 00:14:01,085 It is picture day, and I look 334 00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,286 like a Florida Panhandle meth addict! 335 00:14:04,557 --> 00:14:07,475 What are you surprised about? Of course I am mad. 336 00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:09,644 Look at what you did to me! 337 00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:11,763 I was gonna be the hottest teacher this year 338 00:14:11,848 --> 00:14:13,982 because Theresa Larson looks like a fat pig 339 00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,651 now that she's pregnant. 340 00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:17,735 Don't act surprised. 341 00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:20,438 Everyone is thinking it. I am just saying it. 342 00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:23,608 And now I look like my ass[BLEEP] 343 00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:26,110 Before I bleached it! [Sobs] 344 00:14:26,196 --> 00:14:28,496 Does it surprise you that I'm crying? 345 00:14:28,615 --> 00:14:31,443 'Cause I am the most sensitive person in this school. 346 00:14:32,232 --> 00:14:36,537 How dare you be surprised that I have feelings? 347 00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:38,289 Screw you! 348 00:14:42,178 --> 00:14:45,380 I'm sorry. You should be surprised. 349 00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:47,811 My behavior is unacceptable. 350 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,937 You're the best. 351 00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:55,139 You have pizza breath. 352 00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,817 [sniffs deeply] 353 00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:06,818 Oh, Ms. Bennigan. 354 00:15:06,903 --> 00:15:08,453 Yes, that's me. 355 00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:10,356 Oh. You all right? 356 00:15:10,395 --> 00:15:15,576 Oh, I-I was just... making sure the shirt was still clean. 357 00:15:15,662 --> 00:15:16,828 [laughs] Let me just check 358 00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:18,046 a couple more things here. 359 00:15:18,164 --> 00:15:21,793 Check, check, check, check, check, check, chicken. 360 00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:24,385 Is it okay? 361 00:15:24,504 --> 00:15:26,421 It's perfect. 362 00:15:31,177 --> 00:15:33,678 Can I... let me just... 363 00:15:35,181 --> 00:15:36,681 Oh. 364 00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:37,982 Yeah. 365 00:15:38,068 --> 00:15:39,233 There you go. 366 00:15:39,352 --> 00:15:40,768 Just gonna go put it back on. 367 00:15:40,854 --> 00:15:41,769 Okay. 368 00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:43,521 All right. 369 00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:47,825 Well, howdy, partner. 370 00:15:47,911 --> 00:15:50,194 I'm the fastest photographer in the west. 371 00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,280 Just pull up a seat and saddle up. 372 00:15:52,365 --> 00:15:54,699 Oh, so I can ride you? Huh? 373 00:15:54,784 --> 00:15:58,503 You'd like that, wouldn't you, you perverted freak? 374 00:15:58,588 --> 00:16:02,206 I know all about you, and I bet you'd just love it 375 00:16:02,342 --> 00:16:05,042 if I posed like a nasty little slut 376 00:16:05,178 --> 00:16:06,575 and gobbled your balls! 377 00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:07,762 Excuse me? 378 00:16:07,881 --> 00:16:10,131 Oh, I know pigs like you. 379 00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:12,717 You love a good ball gobble. Huh? 380 00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:14,886 Oh, like this? Huh? Little gobble like this? 381 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:17,638 [babbling] Huh? Huh? 382 00:16:17,724 --> 00:16:19,056 [babbling] 383 00:16:19,192 --> 00:16:20,691 Huh? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. 384 00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,226 Yeah, you like that? What about this, huh? 385 00:16:22,362 --> 00:16:24,112 Huh? What about this, huh? 386 00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:25,696 Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, oh. 387 00:16:25,782 --> 00:16:27,899 Oh, ah, ah. [Groaning] 388 00:16:27,984 --> 00:16:29,200 Huh? Huh? Oh, 389 00:16:29,285 --> 00:16:31,369 are you getting your rocks off on this, you freak? 390 00:16:31,454 --> 00:16:34,572 [groaning] 391 00:16:34,707 --> 00:16:37,875 Now! Let me tell you what's gonna happen. 392 00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:41,245 You are gonna take my picture and you are not gonna say 393 00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:45,833 one inappropriate thing to me or any other teacher ever again. 394 00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:48,920 You got that, you weasel-dicked meat-jerker? 395 00:16:51,174 --> 00:16:53,424 Yeah. Yeah, I got it. 396 00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:54,842 I have a sister. 397 00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,230 Okay, uh... 398 00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:02,016 please... please smile. 399 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,653 Okay, lovely. 400 00:17:05,772 --> 00:17:09,357 I know today we've all experienced things 401 00:17:09,442 --> 00:17:13,778 that are... difficult to understand, 402 00:17:13,863 --> 00:17:15,947 and I spoke with Principal Pearson 403 00:17:16,082 --> 00:17:18,699 and he arranged for the district's grief counselor, 404 00:17:18,785 --> 00:17:22,336 Mrs. Moore, to come and talk to us about death 405 00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:25,208 and some of the feelings we are having. 406 00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,364 Mrs. Moore? 407 00:17:36,302 --> 00:17:38,469 [groans] 408 00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:39,804 Mrs. Moore? 409 00:17:41,558 --> 00:17:42,473 Mrs. Moore? 410 00:17:42,699 --> 00:17:45,700 Is this a demonstration? 411 00:17:45,785 --> 00:17:48,736 Uh... uh, Don't worry, it's all right. 412 00:17:48,821 --> 00:17:51,405 I'm sure she's just taking a nap. 413 00:17:51,491 --> 00:17:52,790 That's what you said about Millard! 414 00:17:52,909 --> 00:17:54,875 Look, everything's going to be fine. 415 00:17:58,247 --> 00:17:59,914 Mrs. Moore? 416 00:18:01,334 --> 00:18:04,418 Rule of threes. Number two. 417 00:18:04,504 --> 00:18:06,182 She's dead! 418 00:18:06,315 --> 00:18:09,090 [all screaming] 419 00:18:14,979 --> 00:18:16,041 [indistinct radio chatter] 420 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:20,190 Um, hello, Mrs. Cregan? This is Ms. Watson. 421 00:18:20,276 --> 00:18:22,393 I was just calling all the parents to let them know 422 00:18:22,478 --> 00:18:25,813 that the children witnessed a couple of deaths today. 423 00:18:28,517 --> 00:18:29,984 Ms. Cannon? 424 00:18:30,102 --> 00:18:32,152 Can I talk to you for a minute, please? 425 00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:34,688 Ms. Cannon, please, can I just talk to you for a minute? 426 00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:37,107 What? 427 00:18:37,193 --> 00:18:39,660 I just want to apologize for the way I acted today. 428 00:18:39,779 --> 00:18:42,446 It was totally inappropriate. 429 00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,865 I don't even know where that first comment came from. 430 00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:47,117 It just... And then when you confronted me, 431 00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:49,453 I was... well, I was ashamed. 432 00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:51,955 I don't know if I told you this or not, but... 433 00:18:52,091 --> 00:18:54,008 [sighs] I have a sister, 434 00:18:54,126 --> 00:18:57,544 and I really respect women. 435 00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,346 Probably doesn't mean anything to you now, 436 00:18:59,465 --> 00:19:04,301 but I'm truly, truly sorry. 437 00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,774 Thank you for your apology. 438 00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,142 No problem. 439 00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:14,395 I really appreciate it. 440 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,814 I bet you do, you grubby little skank! 441 00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:18,315 [laughs] [gasps] 442 00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:19,316 Ah! 443 00:19:19,402 --> 00:19:21,652 - [van horn honking] - [screams] 444 00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,155 Three. 445 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:31,300 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 446 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:35,900 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31658

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