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[rock music]
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00:00:01,359 --> 00:00:05,781
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
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Caroline, you look like
a country music star.
5
00:00:13,465 --> 00:00:14,964
How'd you get those curls?
6
00:00:15,050 --> 00:00:17,016
I slept sitting up with
Coke cans in my hair,
7
00:00:17,135 --> 00:00:20,637
but it was worth it. These
pictures last forever.
8
00:00:20,722 --> 00:00:22,105
Pictures?
9
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:25,108
Oh, my God. How could you
forget about Picture Day?
10
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:28,778
I gave myself a colonic and full
body exfoliation just to prepare.
11
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:30,113
What are you slathering yourself with?
12
00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,148
Self tanner. It takes a while to set,
13
00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,566
but by this afternoon, I will be
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00:00:33,652 --> 00:00:35,118
intriguingly ethnically ambiguous.
15
00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:37,286
Dudes, my pic is gonna look jacked.
16
00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:39,656
I haven't had my eyebrows done
in three weeks.
17
00:00:39,741 --> 00:00:40,957
You look naturally beautiful.
18
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,575
You look like a '70s vagina with eyes,
19
00:00:42,661 --> 00:00:43,960
but don't worry.
20
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,578
I have an emergency waxing kit in my desk.
21
00:00:45,664 --> 00:00:46,746
I can totally fix them.
22
00:00:46,831 --> 00:00:48,164
Thanks.
23
00:00:48,299 --> 00:00:51,501
Morning, ladies, you all look really nice.
24
00:00:51,636 --> 00:00:53,169
Feldman.
25
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,054
I just wanted to stop by to tell you
26
00:00:55,173 --> 00:00:57,807
that we've hired a new
photographer this year,
27
00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:01,678
Don LaRondasack. No more Geoff with a G.
28
00:01:01,763 --> 00:01:03,012
Oh, but I liked Geoff with a G.
29
00:01:03,098 --> 00:01:04,397
He always put me at ease.
30
00:01:04,516 --> 00:01:06,315
I get really self-conscious
having my picture taken.
31
00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:08,518
Well, I'm sure this LaRondasack fellow
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00:01:08,653 --> 00:01:10,019
will be just fine.
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00:01:10,155 --> 00:01:13,356
He's got a firm hand-shake,
looks like he works out,
34
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,775
nice smile.
35
00:01:17,362 --> 00:01:20,997
Anyway, it's time to announce
whose class gets the honor
36
00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:24,033
of having their photo taken
with our mascot, Millard.
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00:01:24,169 --> 00:01:26,703
He's not a mascot. He's an "ig-whuana,"
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and he shouldn't be
paraded around like a trophy
39
00:01:28,373 --> 00:01:31,007
by the winning class each
year. It makes me sick.
40
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:33,209
Well, I love it, and I really need a win.
41
00:01:33,344 --> 00:01:36,429
This could turn my year around.
42
00:01:36,548 --> 00:01:40,183
There's only so much Chardonnay
and cough syrup can do.
43
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:44,854
The winner of the school spirit prize is...
44
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,222
Ms. Watson's class!
45
00:01:46,307 --> 00:01:47,023
Oh!
46
00:01:47,108 --> 00:01:48,808
[gasps] Oh, my God!
47
00:01:48,893 --> 00:01:50,276
Oh, my God! Oh, my...
48
00:01:50,395 --> 00:01:51,894
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.
49
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,279
Thank you, thank you so much.
50
00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:54,897
Oh, my God, this is
gonna change everything!
51
00:01:54,983 --> 00:01:56,949
Easy, tiger. It's just a dumb iguana.
52
00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:59,402
Nobody likes a sore loser,
Deb, especially a winner,
53
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,071
and I am the winner! I am the winner!
54
00:02:02,207 --> 00:02:05,958
I am the winner! I did it! Yeah!
55
00:02:06,077 --> 00:02:09,128
In your face! In your face! In your face!
56
00:02:09,247 --> 00:02:11,080
Oh, cool. I didn't think
that you were gonna do me.
57
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:16,252
Yes! Oh, how you like
me now? Oh, yeah! Yeah!
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00:02:20,258 --> 00:02:22,175
God, that stuff is making this whole room
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00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:24,343
smell like a sloppy sorority girl.
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00:02:24,429 --> 00:02:26,763
Thank you, but I can't wax you right now.
61
00:02:26,898 --> 00:02:28,481
I'm in the middle of my own crisis.
62
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,517
I'm still not the right shade.
I'm supposed to be Camel Taupe.
63
00:02:31,603 --> 00:02:34,520
No, camel toe isn't a color, it's a shape.
64
00:02:34,606 --> 00:02:36,439
Camel Taupe, with a "P"!
65
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:37,440
Oh.
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00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,775
[sighs] I'm getting carpal tunnel
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00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:40,159
trying to deal with this streaky mess.
68
00:02:40,278 --> 00:02:42,245
Oh, here, I'll help.
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00:02:42,330 --> 00:02:45,615
I'll do it everywhere
so it all looks the same.
70
00:02:45,700 --> 00:02:46,949
Just make sure it looks good.
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00:02:47,035 --> 00:02:49,001
Oh, don't worry, I got this.
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00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:50,920
I had to paint a rec center one summer
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00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,122
for community service.
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00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:56,209
There she goes.
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00:02:56,294 --> 00:02:57,960
Okay, Cinderella, do me a favor.
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00:02:58,046 --> 00:02:59,462
I want you to look at the birdie.
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00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:00,513
Where's the birdie?
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00:03:00,632 --> 00:03:02,548
That's not a birdie, that's my hand!
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00:03:02,634 --> 00:03:03,800
- What? Come on.
- [laughs]
80
00:03:03,935 --> 00:03:05,935
Great job. Next!
81
00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:08,638
Hi.
82
00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:10,473
Hi. I just want to warn you
83
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,975
I get a little nervous when
I have my picture taken.
84
00:03:13,061 --> 00:03:14,777
Oh. Well, there's no need to worry.
85
00:03:14,863 --> 00:03:17,730
Old Don's gonna make sure that
you're very well taken care of.
86
00:03:17,816 --> 00:03:19,649
All you gotta do is sit back and relax.
87
00:03:19,805 --> 00:03:21,701
- Okay.
- All right. Now, normally,
88
00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:22,819
at this point, I would say, "Cheese,"
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00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:23,870
but you're not a mouse.
90
00:03:23,988 --> 00:03:25,955
- [laughs]
- There it is.
91
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:28,658
Oh. What are you worried about?
92
00:03:28,793 --> 00:03:30,743
You have a very captivating smile.
93
00:03:30,829 --> 00:03:32,161
It's very nice.
94
00:03:32,247 --> 00:03:33,996
You know what? Let's take another one,
95
00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:37,250
all right? All right, this time, um...
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00:03:37,335 --> 00:03:39,001
just shake your jaw loose.
Kind of give me a little...
97
00:03:39,087 --> 00:03:40,386
- [both blubbering]
- There you go,
98
00:03:40,505 --> 00:03:41,754
and while you're doing
that, then just kind of...
99
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,673
Do that, push out your lips. Just...
100
00:03:43,758 --> 00:03:45,675
Yeah, just like... like
you're tasting something sour,
101
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,677
you know? Yeah, there you go.
102
00:03:47,762 --> 00:03:49,979
Very nice, very nice. Um...
103
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,347
I don't know, arch your back maybe, just...
104
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,599
Yeah, I want you sitting
up straight and tall,
105
00:03:53,685 --> 00:03:55,318
very confident, very... strong.
106
00:03:55,403 --> 00:03:57,019
There you go, arch that back.
107
00:03:57,155 --> 00:03:58,521
Nice, now give me a little twist.
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00:03:58,656 --> 00:04:00,022
Maybe lower the shoulder a
little bit. Yeah, that's it.
109
00:04:00,158 --> 00:04:01,190
Don't... don't lose the lips.
110
00:04:01,326 --> 00:04:03,075
Something sour. Mmm, what's going on?
111
00:04:03,194 --> 00:04:05,494
I don't know, yeah, you nasty little slut.
112
00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:06,696
Okay. [Laughs]
113
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,164
Great. Well done, very nice.
114
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,949
We're done here. Next.
115
00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:14,203
You look like a baseball
player. Am I right? Huh?
116
00:04:19,844 --> 00:04:20,960
Blake?
117
00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:23,963
Can I talk to you for a minute?
118
00:04:29,888 --> 00:04:31,554
Where did you get that shirt?
119
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,356
My mom sent it to me from Myrtle Beach.
120
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,475
Oh. So your mom and
dad are still separated?
121
00:04:36,561 --> 00:04:37,610
Yeah.
122
00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:38,811
Your poor father.
123
00:04:38,897 --> 00:04:40,780
He's such a nice, caring, perfect man.
124
00:04:40,899 --> 00:04:43,566
It must be lonely for him...
125
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:44,901
and for you.
126
00:04:45,036 --> 00:04:46,068
Is that what you wanted to talk about?
127
00:04:46,204 --> 00:04:48,237
No. I'm just concerned
128
00:04:48,323 --> 00:04:50,289
that only the first word on your shirt
129
00:04:50,408 --> 00:04:53,793
will show in the photo,
you know what I mean?
130
00:04:53,912 --> 00:04:56,162
No.
131
00:04:56,247 --> 00:04:57,580
I'll just call your dad and have him
132
00:04:57,605 --> 00:04:58,915
bring you another shirt.
133
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,249
- I'll call...
- I'll call him.
134
00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:02,084
- I'll call him...
- I'll call him.
135
00:05:06,257 --> 00:05:09,008
Now I know for some of us, it's been
136
00:05:09,093 --> 00:05:13,813
an emotionally exhausting year
fraught with disappointment,
137
00:05:13,932 --> 00:05:16,098
and we thought that getting
our class picture taken
138
00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,267
with Millard would finally get the pendulum
139
00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:20,519
swinging in the other direction,
140
00:05:20,605 --> 00:05:24,657
but sometimes you win
and sometimes you lose,
141
00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:28,861
and unfortunately, today,
I have some sad news...
142
00:05:28,947 --> 00:05:32,081
For the other classes... because we won!
143
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,450
[all cheering]
144
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,751
Oh! oh!
145
00:05:35,837 --> 00:05:38,170
We love you, Ms. Watson!
146
00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:40,957
It's the best day of my life!
147
00:05:41,092 --> 00:05:42,291
Millard!
148
00:05:42,377 --> 00:05:46,462
All: Millard! Millard! Millard! Millard!
149
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,297
Millard! Millard!
150
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,933
[trailing off] Millard. Millard.
151
00:05:51,019 --> 00:05:53,602
He's not doing anything.
152
00:05:53,705 --> 00:05:55,471
Well, I think he's asleep.
153
00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:57,773
Maybe you could wake him up, Rodney?
154
00:06:05,867 --> 00:06:08,150
Maybe tap a little harder?
155
00:06:10,288 --> 00:06:12,455
Millard's dead!
156
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:13,956
[all screaming]
157
00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:17,460
Oh. Oh. Okay.
158
00:06:22,951 --> 00:06:25,652
I know for some of us,
we thought that this was
159
00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:28,538
going to pull us out of
an emotional nose dive,
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00:06:28,657 --> 00:06:32,709
but Millard has passed away.
161
00:06:32,828 --> 00:06:35,113
Has anyone ever had a pet die before?
162
00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:36,884
David?
163
00:06:36,969 --> 00:06:38,585
Pets don't die. My mom said
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00:06:38,671 --> 00:06:40,721
all of my hermit crabs went to the farm.
165
00:06:40,896 --> 00:06:43,597
There's no farm, dummy. They're dead.
166
00:06:43,682 --> 00:06:46,350
Rodney, that's enough.
167
00:06:46,435 --> 00:06:49,987
David, I think it's really
nice that your mom told you
168
00:06:50,072 --> 00:06:53,073
there's a farm. It's a wonderful thought.
169
00:06:53,192 --> 00:06:55,859
So there's no farm?
170
00:06:55,995 --> 00:06:57,027
I didn't say that.
171
00:06:57,163 --> 00:06:58,779
What are you gonna tell me next,
172
00:06:58,864 --> 00:07:01,365
there's no Santa Claus?
173
00:07:05,871 --> 00:07:07,871
Why are you taking so long to answer?
174
00:07:10,676 --> 00:07:11,925
Poor Millard.
175
00:07:12,044 --> 00:07:14,044
I know. I tried to talk to my students
176
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:16,213
about death, but then I ruined Christmas.
177
00:07:16,298 --> 00:07:19,049
Just order them a pizza. This just in,
178
00:07:19,135 --> 00:07:21,051
kids love pizza. [Scoffs]
179
00:07:21,187 --> 00:07:22,886
You could tell them about heaven,
180
00:07:23,037 --> 00:07:26,538
but apparently, that's
"illegal" in schools.
181
00:07:26,624 --> 00:07:29,925
All I can say is, we
better watch our backs.
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00:07:30,010 --> 00:07:31,043
Millard's number one.
183
00:07:31,128 --> 00:07:32,427
What are you talking about?
184
00:07:32,513 --> 00:07:33,345
Rule of threes.
185
00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:35,097
Death always comes in threes.
186
00:07:35,182 --> 00:07:36,465
- No, that's a myth.
- Maybe you should celebrate.
187
00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,517
Millard's life by having a ceremony.
188
00:07:38,636 --> 00:07:39,768
That's a really good idea.
189
00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:41,019
Hey, did the photographer say
190
00:07:41,138 --> 00:07:42,888
anything inappropriate to any of you?
191
00:07:42,973 --> 00:07:44,356
I haven't had my picture taken yet.
192
00:07:44,475 --> 00:07:47,226
I still gotta deal with
these mustaches over my eyes.
193
00:07:47,311 --> 00:07:49,303
He was really nice to
me. Is something wrong?
194
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,725
Yeah, you know what? There is.
195
00:07:51,811 --> 00:07:53,733
I will not be treated like a piece of meat.
196
00:07:57,371 --> 00:07:58,370
[door closing]
197
00:07:58,415 --> 00:08:02,083
So where'd we land on the pizza?
198
00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:04,586
Don? Do you have a minute?
199
00:08:04,721 --> 00:08:08,840
Well, I'm here all day,
so I've got 1,440 of them,
200
00:08:08,925 --> 00:08:11,142
to be exact. [Laughs]
201
00:08:11,261 --> 00:08:12,727
That's how many minutes are in a day.
202
00:08:12,812 --> 00:08:15,313
- Yeah, I got that.
- Okay.
203
00:08:15,432 --> 00:08:17,982
I just want you to know...
204
00:08:18,101 --> 00:08:19,934
I was not amused by what you said to me.
205
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,270
Ugh. The mouse joke, huh?
206
00:08:22,405 --> 00:08:23,438
I know, I'm sorry.
207
00:08:23,573 --> 00:08:24,739
No.
208
00:08:24,824 --> 00:08:28,109
You called me a... nasty little slut.
209
00:08:28,245 --> 00:08:29,911
I did?
210
00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:31,112
I do not recall that.
211
00:08:31,248 --> 00:08:34,082
I feel that you saw I was nervous
212
00:08:34,167 --> 00:08:35,617
and preyed on my insecurity.
213
00:08:35,702 --> 00:08:39,921
Well, wow, I... definitely
didn't mean to upset you,
214
00:08:40,006 --> 00:08:43,041
and I sure didn't want
to cause any offense.
215
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:46,186
I have a sister, so I really respect women.
216
00:08:46,264 --> 00:08:47,296
Okay.
217
00:08:47,382 --> 00:08:49,347
Let me make it up to you, okay?
218
00:08:49,466 --> 00:08:51,266
Let me just take another picture of you.
219
00:08:51,351 --> 00:08:53,968
It'll be fine, it'll be...
I want you to be comfortable.
220
00:08:54,104 --> 00:08:56,638
I want this to be a good experience.
221
00:08:56,773 --> 00:08:58,856
- Okay.
- Okay, there you go.
222
00:08:58,975 --> 00:09:00,308
If you don't mind, say, "Cheese."
223
00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:02,277
Unless you're lactose intolerant!
224
00:09:03,313 --> 00:09:04,479
All right.
225
00:09:04,564 --> 00:09:06,814
Oh, great. We're all set.
226
00:09:07,951 --> 00:09:10,902
Hit the bricks, you dirty little hooker.
227
00:09:10,987 --> 00:09:12,120
[gasps]
228
00:09:12,205 --> 00:09:13,538
Okey dokey, Smokey, who's next?
229
00:09:13,657 --> 00:09:16,491
Get in here! Wow, look at you.
230
00:09:16,626 --> 00:09:18,710
[bagpipes playing]
231
00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,712
[grunts]
232
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,164
Oh, Danny boy
233
00:09:23,250 --> 00:09:28,169
The pipes, the pipes are calling
234
00:09:28,305 --> 00:09:31,639
Did you guys know that
art can happen anywhere?
235
00:09:31,725 --> 00:09:33,424
Yeah, it can.
236
00:09:33,510 --> 00:09:37,512
That's why we have things
like flash mobs and graffiti.
237
00:09:37,647 --> 00:09:40,406
Can anyone else give me
some other examples of art?
238
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:41,685
Good, yeah. Lucas?
239
00:09:41,804 --> 00:09:43,508
Well, artists like Jackson Pollock
240
00:09:43,593 --> 00:09:45,987
and Wassily Kandinksy demonstrated
241
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:47,689
that we do not need to
accurately represent...
242
00:09:47,824 --> 00:09:49,524
If anyone has an extra video game,
243
00:09:49,659 --> 00:09:52,410
it sounds like Lucas could really use one.
244
00:09:52,529 --> 00:09:55,029
All right, guys, now we're going to see
245
00:09:55,115 --> 00:09:56,948
art happen right in front of us.
246
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,416
Crazy, right?
247
00:09:58,535 --> 00:10:01,536
Ms. Snap is going to wax my eyebrows.
248
00:10:01,621 --> 00:10:03,838
Just so you know, I don't
normally look like this.
249
00:10:03,923 --> 00:10:06,291
When my tan sets, I will look like J-Lo.
250
00:10:06,376 --> 00:10:07,908
This is gonna be really fun.
251
00:10:07,933 --> 00:10:11,546
It's like arts and crafts, but on my face.
252
00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:13,931
Wow, that was impressive.
253
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:15,266
When I have something personal to do,
254
00:10:15,385 --> 00:10:17,185
I just tell my kids to
zip it and silent-read.
255
00:10:17,270 --> 00:10:19,971
Oh, yeah, I can turn
anything into a lesson.
256
00:10:20,056 --> 00:10:21,806
Tomorrow I'm teaching math by having them
257
00:10:21,891 --> 00:10:23,891
add up my tax receipts.
258
00:10:23,977 --> 00:10:26,728
[whispering] Here we go.
259
00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:30,448
Okay, one, two, three!
260
00:10:30,567 --> 00:10:33,534
Oh!
261
00:10:39,199 --> 00:10:42,784
Art.
262
00:10:45,372 --> 00:10:46,838
Since when do you do makeup?
263
00:10:46,957 --> 00:10:50,959
I have to fix my eyebrows.
Snap gave my face a Brazilian.
264
00:10:51,044 --> 00:10:52,878
[sighs]
265
00:10:52,963 --> 00:10:55,680
What's wrong? Did someone
put compost in the recycling?
266
00:10:55,799 --> 00:10:57,766
No. This morning, the
photographer called me
267
00:10:57,851 --> 00:10:59,134
a "nasty little slut."
268
00:10:59,269 --> 00:11:00,802
Wait, what?
269
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:02,554
Yeah, and when I went to go
talk to him about it later,
270
00:11:02,639 --> 00:11:04,773
he called me a "dirty little hooker."
271
00:11:04,858 --> 00:11:06,641
I know. I was shocked too.
272
00:11:06,727 --> 00:11:09,311
Oh, hell no! If he
thinks he's gonna get away
273
00:11:09,446 --> 00:11:13,114
with that Cosby crap, he's
got another think coming.
274
00:11:14,401 --> 00:11:16,234
You don't think she's
gonna hurt him, do you?
275
00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:17,702
Probably.
276
00:11:17,821 --> 00:11:20,655
She nut-punched Mr. Werner
for taking her parking space.
277
00:11:20,741 --> 00:11:21,873
Although in her defense, she did have
278
00:11:21,992 --> 00:11:23,625
a ten-day period that month.
279
00:11:23,710 --> 00:11:26,828
[humming]
280
00:11:31,385 --> 00:11:32,667
Ms. Bennigan?
281
00:11:32,753 --> 00:11:34,219
[whispering] Hot Dad.
282
00:11:34,338 --> 00:11:35,553
- What?
- Hmm?
283
00:11:35,672 --> 00:11:37,889
Nothing. Hey, you.
284
00:11:38,008 --> 00:11:40,175
I got your voice-mail, I
came down as soon as I could.
285
00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:41,309
Thank you so much.
286
00:11:44,147 --> 00:11:46,314
Did you bring a new shirt for Blake?
287
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:47,849
Shirt? In your message,
288
00:11:47,935 --> 00:11:49,017
you just said to come down
to the school and hung up.
289
00:11:49,102 --> 00:11:50,518
It sounded like an emergency.
290
00:11:50,604 --> 00:11:53,104
Oh, um, it is.
291
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:57,108
You see, what Blake's
shirt says is inappropriate.
292
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,076
What does it say?
293
00:11:58,195 --> 00:11:59,694
Well... [chuckles]
294
00:11:59,830 --> 00:12:01,029
You know what shirt he was wearing.
295
00:12:01,164 --> 00:12:03,365
I don't. I'm sorry,
296
00:12:03,450 --> 00:12:06,084
still trying to get used to
this whole single dad thing.
297
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,619
[laughs nervously]
298
00:12:07,704 --> 00:12:09,371
Are you all right?
You're turning really red.
299
00:12:09,456 --> 00:12:11,840
Dick!
300
00:12:11,925 --> 00:12:14,793
His shirt says "Dick. Mack's.
301
00:12:14,878 --> 00:12:19,381
Dick Mack's Crab Shack." [laughs]
302
00:12:19,466 --> 00:12:21,516
And today is picture day.
303
00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:23,385
Oh, God. I didn't even realize.
304
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,357
When are the photos?
305
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:25,520
They're in line at the cafeteria
306
00:12:25,605 --> 00:12:26,521
to take them right now.
307
00:12:26,606 --> 00:12:28,023
[sighs] Well,
308
00:12:28,108 --> 00:12:30,058
there's no way I can get
back to the house in time.
309
00:12:30,143 --> 00:12:31,810
And we can't have him wearing that shirt.
310
00:12:31,895 --> 00:12:34,529
No. We can't.
311
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:36,731
You know what?
312
00:12:36,867 --> 00:12:38,900
It's gonna be a little big on him, but...
313
00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:41,820
[groans]
314
00:12:41,905 --> 00:12:43,238
He can wear this.
315
00:12:46,493 --> 00:12:49,377
[laughs]
316
00:12:49,463 --> 00:12:50,328
You all right?
317
00:12:50,414 --> 00:12:51,663
[laughs]
318
00:12:51,748 --> 00:12:53,748
I'm fine. [Laughs]
319
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:56,584
I'll be back right... [laughs]
320
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,086
I'll be back ri...
321
00:12:58,221 --> 00:13:00,922
I'ma be right back. [Laughs] Okay.
322
00:13:06,763 --> 00:13:09,931
Today has been a hard day.
323
00:13:10,067 --> 00:13:13,318
But you know, Millard isn't gone forever.
324
00:13:13,437 --> 00:13:15,653
Even though he's not here physically,
325
00:13:15,772 --> 00:13:18,940
his spirit is actually everywhere.
326
00:13:19,076 --> 00:13:20,442
Now, why don't we lay him to rest
327
00:13:20,577 --> 00:13:23,745
so he can finally be free?
328
00:13:37,794 --> 00:13:41,212
Oh, my God! It's the old Millard!
329
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,681
Okay, let's just calm down, everyone.
330
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,968
[all screaming]
331
00:13:55,682 --> 00:13:57,582
Hey! You just ruined
332
00:13:57,717 --> 00:13:59,417
the most important day of the year for me.
333
00:13:59,502 --> 00:14:01,085
It is picture day, and I look
334
00:14:01,221 --> 00:14:03,286
like a Florida Panhandle meth addict!
335
00:14:04,557 --> 00:14:07,475
What are you surprised
about? Of course I am mad.
336
00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:09,644
Look at what you did to me!
337
00:14:09,763 --> 00:14:11,763
I was gonna be the
hottest teacher this year
338
00:14:11,848 --> 00:14:13,982
because Theresa Larson looks like a fat pig
339
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,651
now that she's pregnant.
340
00:14:16,770 --> 00:14:17,735
Don't act surprised.
341
00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:20,438
Everyone is thinking
it. I am just saying it.
342
00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:23,608
And now I look like my ass[BLEEP]
343
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:26,110
Before I bleached it! [Sobs]
344
00:14:26,196 --> 00:14:28,496
Does it surprise you that I'm crying?
345
00:14:28,615 --> 00:14:31,443
'Cause I am the most sensitive
person in this school.
346
00:14:32,232 --> 00:14:36,537
How dare you be surprised
that I have feelings?
347
00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:38,289
Screw you!
348
00:14:42,178 --> 00:14:45,380
I'm sorry. You should be surprised.
349
00:14:45,465 --> 00:14:47,811
My behavior is unacceptable.
350
00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:52,937
You're the best.
351
00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:55,139
You have pizza breath.
352
00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,817
[sniffs deeply]
353
00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:06,818
Oh, Ms. Bennigan.
354
00:15:06,903 --> 00:15:08,453
Yes, that's me.
355
00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:10,356
Oh. You all right?
356
00:15:10,395 --> 00:15:15,576
Oh, I-I was just... making
sure the shirt was still clean.
357
00:15:15,662 --> 00:15:16,828
[laughs] Let me just check
358
00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:18,046
a couple more things here.
359
00:15:18,164 --> 00:15:21,793
Check, check, check, check,
check, check, chicken.
360
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:24,385
Is it okay?
361
00:15:24,504 --> 00:15:26,421
It's perfect.
362
00:15:31,177 --> 00:15:33,678
Can I... let me just...
363
00:15:35,181 --> 00:15:36,681
Oh.
364
00:15:36,766 --> 00:15:37,982
Yeah.
365
00:15:38,068 --> 00:15:39,233
There you go.
366
00:15:39,352 --> 00:15:40,768
Just gonna go put it back on.
367
00:15:40,854 --> 00:15:41,769
Okay.
368
00:15:41,855 --> 00:15:43,521
All right.
369
00:15:46,359 --> 00:15:47,825
Well, howdy, partner.
370
00:15:47,911 --> 00:15:50,194
I'm the fastest photographer in the west.
371
00:15:50,330 --> 00:15:52,280
Just pull up a seat and saddle up.
372
00:15:52,365 --> 00:15:54,699
Oh, so I can ride you? Huh?
373
00:15:54,784 --> 00:15:58,503
You'd like that, wouldn't
you, you perverted freak?
374
00:15:58,588 --> 00:16:02,206
I know all about you, and
I bet you'd just love it
375
00:16:02,342 --> 00:16:05,042
if I posed like a nasty little slut
376
00:16:05,178 --> 00:16:06,575
and gobbled your balls!
377
00:16:06,661 --> 00:16:07,762
Excuse me?
378
00:16:07,881 --> 00:16:10,131
Oh, I know pigs like you.
379
00:16:10,216 --> 00:16:12,717
You love a good ball gobble. Huh?
380
00:16:12,802 --> 00:16:14,886
Oh, like this? Huh?
Little gobble like this?
381
00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:17,638
[babbling] Huh? Huh?
382
00:16:17,724 --> 00:16:19,056
[babbling]
383
00:16:19,192 --> 00:16:20,691
Huh? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
384
00:16:20,777 --> 00:16:22,226
Yeah, you like that? What about this, huh?
385
00:16:22,362 --> 00:16:24,112
Huh? What about this, huh?
386
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:25,696
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, oh.
387
00:16:25,782 --> 00:16:27,899
Oh, ah, ah. [Groaning]
388
00:16:27,984 --> 00:16:29,200
Huh? Huh? Oh,
389
00:16:29,285 --> 00:16:31,369
are you getting your rocks
off on this, you freak?
390
00:16:31,454 --> 00:16:34,572
[groaning]
391
00:16:34,707 --> 00:16:37,875
Now! Let me tell you what's gonna happen.
392
00:16:37,961 --> 00:16:41,245
You are gonna take my picture
and you are not gonna say
393
00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:45,833
one inappropriate thing to me
or any other teacher ever again.
394
00:16:45,919 --> 00:16:48,920
You got that, you
weasel-dicked meat-jerker?
395
00:16:51,174 --> 00:16:53,424
Yeah. Yeah, I got it.
396
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:54,842
I have a sister.
397
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,230
Okay, uh...
398
00:16:59,315 --> 00:17:02,016
please... please smile.
399
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,653
Okay, lovely.
400
00:17:05,772 --> 00:17:09,357
I know today we've all experienced things
401
00:17:09,442 --> 00:17:13,778
that are... difficult to understand,
402
00:17:13,863 --> 00:17:15,947
and I spoke with Principal Pearson
403
00:17:16,082 --> 00:17:18,699
and he arranged for the
district's grief counselor,
404
00:17:18,785 --> 00:17:22,336
Mrs. Moore, to come and
talk to us about death
405
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:25,208
and some of the feelings we are having.
406
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:27,364
Mrs. Moore?
407
00:17:36,302 --> 00:17:38,469
[groans]
408
00:17:38,555 --> 00:17:39,804
Mrs. Moore?
409
00:17:41,558 --> 00:17:42,473
Mrs. Moore?
410
00:17:42,699 --> 00:17:45,700
Is this a demonstration?
411
00:17:45,785 --> 00:17:48,736
Uh... uh, Don't worry, it's all right.
412
00:17:48,821 --> 00:17:51,405
I'm sure she's just taking a nap.
413
00:17:51,491 --> 00:17:52,790
That's what you said about Millard!
414
00:17:52,909 --> 00:17:54,875
Look, everything's going to be fine.
415
00:17:58,247 --> 00:17:59,914
Mrs. Moore?
416
00:18:01,334 --> 00:18:04,418
Rule of threes. Number two.
417
00:18:04,504 --> 00:18:06,182
She's dead!
418
00:18:06,315 --> 00:18:09,090
[all screaming]
419
00:18:14,979 --> 00:18:16,041
[indistinct radio chatter]
420
00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:20,190
Um, hello, Mrs. Cregan? This is Ms. Watson.
421
00:18:20,276 --> 00:18:22,393
I was just calling all the
parents to let them know
422
00:18:22,478 --> 00:18:25,813
that the children witnessed
a couple of deaths today.
423
00:18:28,517 --> 00:18:29,984
Ms. Cannon?
424
00:18:30,102 --> 00:18:32,152
Can I talk to you for a minute, please?
425
00:18:32,271 --> 00:18:34,688
Ms. Cannon, please, can I
just talk to you for a minute?
426
00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:37,107
What?
427
00:18:37,193 --> 00:18:39,660
I just want to apologize
for the way I acted today.
428
00:18:39,779 --> 00:18:42,446
It was totally inappropriate.
429
00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:44,865
I don't even know where
that first comment came from.
430
00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:47,117
It just... And then when you confronted me,
431
00:18:47,253 --> 00:18:49,453
I was... well, I was ashamed.
432
00:18:49,588 --> 00:18:51,955
I don't know if I told
you this or not, but...
433
00:18:52,091 --> 00:18:54,008
[sighs] I have a sister,
434
00:18:54,126 --> 00:18:57,544
and I really respect women.
435
00:18:57,630 --> 00:18:59,346
Probably doesn't mean anything to you now,
436
00:18:59,465 --> 00:19:04,301
but I'm truly, truly sorry.
437
00:19:08,941 --> 00:19:10,774
Thank you for your apology.
438
00:19:10,860 --> 00:19:12,142
No problem.
439
00:19:12,278 --> 00:19:14,395
I really appreciate it.
440
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,814
I bet you do, you grubby little skank!
441
00:19:16,949 --> 00:19:18,315
[laughs] [gasps]
442
00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:19,316
Ah!
443
00:19:19,402 --> 00:19:21,652
- [van horn honking]
- [screams]
444
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:25,155
Three.
445
00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:31,300
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www.addic7ed.com
446
00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:35,900
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