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1
00:00:02,267 --> 00:00:05,267
( theme music playing )
2
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,367
( singing in native language )
3
00:01:11,899 --> 00:01:13,367
Everybody sing.
4
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,467
Hey, Bobby...
5
00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:16,700
Hey. How come
you look so happy?
6
00:01:16,733 --> 00:01:19,000
You know, this really strange
thing happened to me last night.
7
00:01:19,034 --> 00:01:20,900
I called you up
to see if you wanted
8
00:01:20,934 --> 00:01:22,634
to go out for a
beer or something
9
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:23,967
and you weren't home.
Right.
10
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,967
I talked to this girl
on your answering service...
11
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,267
Named Angela.
12
00:01:28,301 --> 00:01:29,534
Oh, she's terrific.
13
00:01:29,568 --> 00:01:30,934
My favorite operator.
14
00:01:30,967 --> 00:01:32,900
You know, I call
for my messages,
15
00:01:32,934 --> 00:01:34,267
and all the rest of them
16
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:36,201
they just say,
"Still nothing."
17
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:38,367
You know, an actor
doesn't like to hear that
18
00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:40,334
but Angela--
nobody called me--
19
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,800
she gives me
other people's messages.
20
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:45,634
Yeah, yeah, she really seemed
nice on the phone, you know?
21
00:01:45,668 --> 00:01:47,167
Oh, unbelievably nice.
22
00:01:47,201 --> 00:01:48,434
LOUIE:
Hey, Rieger?
23
00:01:48,467 --> 00:01:51,267
Sometimes she gives me
Gene Shalit's messages.
24
00:01:51,301 --> 00:01:52,267
Really?
25
00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:53,334
Yeah. Gene and me
26
00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:55,367
we use the same service,
you know.
27
00:01:55,401 --> 00:01:56,800
A lot of stars call him.
28
00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:58,634
You know who
called him yesterday?
29
00:01:58,668 --> 00:01:59,167
Who?
30
00:01:59,201 --> 00:02:02,034
Erma Bombeck.
31
00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:05,601
Hey, you ever been out
with Angela, Bobby?
32
00:02:05,634 --> 00:02:08,501
Angela?
From your answering service?
33
00:02:08,534 --> 00:02:09,800
Oh, she's a peach.
34
00:02:09,833 --> 00:02:12,733
One night she and I discussed
my boxing career.
35
00:02:12,767 --> 00:02:14,067
You know, we never even met
36
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,167
and still we must have talked
for around five minutes.
37
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:21,668
That's longer than
most of your fights last.
38
00:02:21,700 --> 00:02:23,601
Yeah.
39
00:02:23,634 --> 00:02:26,733
We talked
for a while too.
40
00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:28,367
Over an hour.
41
00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:29,934
Wow, an hour?
Hold it.
42
00:02:29,967 --> 00:02:31,967
You tied up my line
for an hour?
43
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,267
Alex, I could be
getting acting jobs
44
00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:35,401
during that time.
45
00:02:35,434 --> 00:02:36,934
I sort of forgot about the time.
46
00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:38,967
I mean she was
so terrific on the phone.
47
00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,334
Hey, how come you never thought
about asking her out?
48
00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:44,334
Well, I almost
asked her out once
49
00:02:44,367 --> 00:02:46,733
but I decided against it,
it wasn't worth the risk.
50
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:48,034
What risk?
51
00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:50,000
She might turn out to be a dog.
52
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,034
Oh.
53
00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:52,034
Geez.
54
00:02:52,067 --> 00:02:54,900
Did you just geez at me, Elaine?
55
00:02:54,934 --> 00:02:56,867
I can't believe you.
I mean you wouldn't go out
56
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,568
with a woman
if she wasn't good looking?
57
00:02:58,601 --> 00:03:00,067
Sure, I would.
58
00:03:00,100 --> 00:03:02,267
If I was real drunk
or something.
59
00:03:02,301 --> 00:03:05,401
Hey come on, Elaine.
60
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:07,568
Looks matter
to women too.
61
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:11,100
How popular are short,
pudgy, ugly men?
62
00:03:11,134 --> 00:03:12,900
Yeah. How popular, Louie?
63
00:03:12,934 --> 00:03:14,568
You know, Bobby
64
00:03:14,601 --> 00:03:17,267
I hope someone slams a door
on your nose
65
00:03:17,301 --> 00:03:20,800
and you sneeze
and your head explodes.
66
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:26,301
If you had such a good
conversation with her, Alex
67
00:03:26,334 --> 00:03:28,434
why don't you ask her out?
68
00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,934
Well, I'm thinking about it.
69
00:03:30,967 --> 00:03:33,934
Yeah, well, I got to call
for my messages.
70
00:03:33,967 --> 00:03:36,201
Hey, if Angela
should happen to answer
71
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:37,401
should I...
72
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:38,401
No.
73
00:03:38,434 --> 00:03:40,967
All right, whatever,
but you better move fast.
74
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:41,934
Why?
75
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:44,267
So you can tell me
what she's like.
76
00:03:44,301 --> 00:03:45,634
Hi.
77
00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:48,067
Any for Wheeler, 131?
78
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,867
Anything for Shalit?
79
00:03:52,134 --> 00:03:56,267
Hey, Angela, how'd you like
talking to my friend, Alex?
80
00:03:56,301 --> 00:03:57,634
Oh, yeah.
81
00:03:57,668 --> 00:03:59,601
He's even better
than he sounds.
82
00:03:59,634 --> 00:04:01,534
Sure. I'll describe
him to you.
83
00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:04,367
Before Bobby gets cute,
I, uh...
84
00:04:04,401 --> 00:04:06,167
Oh, this is Alex.
85
00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:08,100
Oh, yeah?
86
00:04:10,034 --> 00:04:12,201
Yeah, I remember your voice, too
87
00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:14,267
even though I knew it was you.
88
00:04:14,301 --> 00:04:16,934
I mean, even if I didn't know
it was you
89
00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:20,201
and I heard your voice,
I would know it was you.
90
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:21,967
You want to go out with me?
91
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:22,967
Smooth, Alex.
92
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,601
Would you get out of here?
93
00:04:24,634 --> 00:04:25,601
Oh, boy.
94
00:04:25,634 --> 00:04:26,668
What,
"Oh, boy?"
95
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:27,900
What you got
there, Latka?
96
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,867
( speaking native language )
97
00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:33,900
Okay, okay, Latka.
98
00:04:33,934 --> 00:04:35,134
Shh! Slow down, okay?
99
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:36,134
Slow down.
100
00:04:36,167 --> 00:04:37,401
Okay.
101
00:04:37,434 --> 00:04:40,967
( speaking native languageslowly )
102
00:04:48,534 --> 00:04:50,100
You found it
on the back seat.
103
00:04:50,134 --> 00:04:51,967
Yeah.
104
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,201
2,000 bucks.
105
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,334
2,000 smackers.
106
00:04:56,367 --> 00:04:59,700
Not smackers. Bucks.
107
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:04,134
Latka, you found the 2,000 bucks
108
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:05,668
I've been looking for.
109
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:07,501
Hey, you never lost
2,000 bucks.
110
00:05:07,534 --> 00:05:08,867
I didn't say I lost it.
111
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,568
I just said I was
looking for it.
112
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,334
I've been looking
for 2,000 bucks all my life.
113
00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:15,900
Hands off, Louie.
114
00:05:15,934 --> 00:05:17,401
MAN:
Hey, Louie...
115
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:18,900
it's your mother calling.
116
00:05:18,934 --> 00:05:21,668
She says somebody's trying
to break into her apartment.
117
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:24,067
Tell her I'll
get back to her.
118
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,900
That's your mother.
119
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,967
All right.
I'll talk to her now.
120
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,501
Don't do nothing with that money
while I'm gone.
121
00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:34,334
Listen, somebody has
to bring this up.
122
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,534
The hack rules say
that this money
123
00:05:36,568 --> 00:05:39,167
must be returned to
the police precinct.
124
00:05:39,201 --> 00:05:40,167
No police.
125
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,401
Oh, it's okay,
if we turn it in
126
00:05:41,434 --> 00:05:43,668
and nobody claims it
within 90 days
127
00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:45,334
then it's returned
to us, free and clear.
128
00:05:45,367 --> 00:05:48,700
No police, no police,
no nothing.
129
00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:50,167
Just money.
130
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:55,167
You know, it's probably
dirty money, right?
131
00:05:55,201 --> 00:05:56,833
I mean what kind
of decent person
132
00:05:56,867 --> 00:05:59,668
walks around with 2,000 bucks
in cash, right?
133
00:05:59,700 --> 00:06:01,334
A priest who collected it
134
00:06:01,367 --> 00:06:03,833
for underprivileged
crippled children.
135
00:06:03,867 --> 00:06:07,234
Or a nun on her way to send it
to starving natives.
136
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,267
Or a hooker.
137
00:06:11,634 --> 00:06:14,201
Hey, Alex, listen,
we got a little problem.
138
00:06:14,234 --> 00:06:16,601
Latka just found
this bunch of money...
139
00:06:16,634 --> 00:06:18,934
( speaking native language )
140
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:25,201
Oh, it gets better
every time he tells it.
141
00:06:25,234 --> 00:06:27,800
Anyway, we're trying
to decide what to do.
142
00:06:27,833 --> 00:06:29,700
Yeah? Good.
I got to leave. I got a date.
143
00:06:29,733 --> 00:06:30,700
With Angela?
144
00:06:30,733 --> 00:06:31,700
Uh-huh.
145
00:06:31,733 --> 00:06:33,000
Hey, way to go.
146
00:06:33,034 --> 00:06:35,900
I never worked so hard
for a date in my life.
147
00:06:35,934 --> 00:06:37,234
Hey, where you
taking her?
148
00:06:37,267 --> 00:06:39,401
Well, I thought I'd take her
to dinner, uh, Mario's.
149
00:06:39,434 --> 00:06:41,568
It's a nice place,
but stay away
150
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,234
from the clams oreganata
with eggplant.
151
00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:46,167
It killed my sister-in-law.
152
00:06:47,234 --> 00:06:49,767
Have a good time, Alex.
153
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,467
Doesn't get any better.
154
00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:20,934
Hi. I'm Alex.
155
00:07:20,967 --> 00:07:22,267
You blew it.
You could have said
156
00:07:22,301 --> 00:07:23,934
you were looking
for another apartment.
157
00:07:23,967 --> 00:07:26,201
No. I was looking
for this one, 3-D.
158
00:07:26,234 --> 00:07:28,668
It fell off
when I knocked on... door.
159
00:07:28,700 --> 00:07:30,034
Well, my admirers
160
00:07:30,067 --> 00:07:33,568
will just have to wander
the halls looking for me.
161
00:07:33,601 --> 00:07:36,467
I hate to disappoint you,
but I'm Angela.
162
00:07:36,501 --> 00:07:39,634
Oh. Here's your "D."
163
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:40,934
You want to come in?
164
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:44,000
Huh? Yeah. Sure.
165
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,833
You got guts.
166
00:07:53,733 --> 00:07:55,034
It's very nice.
167
00:07:55,067 --> 00:07:56,668
You're doing very well.
168
00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:57,733
Huh?
169
00:07:57,767 --> 00:07:59,234
The smile, I mean.
170
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:03,000
Most guys drop it
ten seconds after they see me.
171
00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:05,067
You can stop now.
172
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,401
You've got the record.
173
00:08:06,434 --> 00:08:08,668
Say...
174
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:11,967
so, Angela...
175
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,967
This is really
very nice.
176
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,900
Do you want to use
the phone?
177
00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:16,900
What for?
178
00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:18,234
To call your mother.
179
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,634
Maybe you'll be lucky
and she'll be sick
180
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,034
and you'll have to run over
and see her.
181
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,867
( laughs )
182
00:08:25,900 --> 00:08:28,867
That's some sense of humor
you got there, Angela.
183
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,134
Well, listen,
our dinner reservations
184
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:32,634
aren't for about an hour
185
00:08:32,668 --> 00:08:34,767
so you want to get something
first somewhere else--
186
00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:35,733
a drink or something?
187
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:37,067
You must know
188
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,733
a really dark bar
where no one will see us.
189
00:08:39,767 --> 00:08:42,767
We don't have to go anywhere
if you don't want to.
190
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:44,334
We can have a drink here.
191
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:47,434
Sure, why take any chance
on anyone seeing you with me.
192
00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:48,668
What would you like to drink?
193
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:51,201
What do you got?
194
00:08:51,234 --> 00:08:53,067
Malteds.
195
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:57,267
Listen, we can get something
at the restaurant.
196
00:08:57,301 --> 00:08:59,234
Hope you like Italian.
197
00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:00,234
Doesn't matter.
198
00:09:00,267 --> 00:09:02,167
As you can see, I eat anything.
199
00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:05,568
If you want, I could fix you
something here.
200
00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:07,534
You don't want to go out?
201
00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:08,668
I don't care.
202
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:11,067
I was just trying
to make it easy on you.
203
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:13,401
Get your coat.
204
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:15,201
What are you trying to prove?
205
00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:16,733
That you're a great guy?
206
00:09:16,767 --> 00:09:19,201
Okay. You're a great guy.
A real prince.
207
00:09:19,234 --> 00:09:22,134
Um... here.
208
00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:24,234
Here's your coat.
209
00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:26,601
You don't know
when to quit, do you?
210
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:28,767
Hey, I asked you out for dinner,
we're going out for dinner.
211
00:09:31,568 --> 00:09:32,767
It will be fun.
212
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,900
You'll see.
213
00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:36,601
Fat chance.
214
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:44,534
Do you like clams oreganata
with eggplant?
215
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,967
I never met anybody
216
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,534
who liked anchovies.
217
00:10:03,568 --> 00:10:06,000
Rich people probably like them.
218
00:10:06,034 --> 00:10:07,900
Rich people
like anything
219
00:10:07,934 --> 00:10:11,634
that's small that tastes weird.
220
00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,501
Why don't you drop
the act now, huh?
221
00:10:15,534 --> 00:10:16,601
What? What act?
222
00:10:16,634 --> 00:10:18,668
Pretending that you're not
having a lousy time.
223
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,367
Hey, come on, Angela,
would you?
224
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:24,100
What do you still got
your coat on for?
225
00:10:24,134 --> 00:10:26,267
The management requested it.
226
00:10:26,301 --> 00:10:28,800
Don't you care
for your salad?
227
00:10:28,833 --> 00:10:31,267
I wouldn't know if I
cared for it or not.
228
00:10:31,301 --> 00:10:32,267
I didn't eat it.
229
00:10:32,301 --> 00:10:33,601
Hey, what's with you?
230
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,767
What's the matter? Aren't you
having a good time anymore?
231
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,568
I once went out with a girl
232
00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:39,833
who pulled a knife on me,
robbed me
233
00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:43,434
and threw me out of her car
on the New Jersey turnpike.
234
00:10:43,467 --> 00:10:46,601
I have to think about that now
as a medium date.
235
00:10:46,634 --> 00:10:49,334
So you want to take me home now?
236
00:10:49,367 --> 00:10:51,067
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
237
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:55,201
There he is.
238
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:56,700
Let's go out this way.
239
00:10:59,634 --> 00:11:01,301
Hey, Alex,
I'm really sorry.
240
00:11:01,334 --> 00:11:02,568
I tried to stop them
241
00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:04,767
from coming down
and bothering you.
242
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:06,000
Angela Matusa
243
00:11:06,034 --> 00:11:09,301
this is Tony Banta,
John Burns, Latka Gravas
244
00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:12,134
and Bobby Wheeler,
who I guess you sort of know.
245
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,334
Nice to finally meet you,
Angela.
246
00:11:14,367 --> 00:11:16,334
Am I what you pictured,
Bobby?
247
00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:19,501
Yeah, more or less.
248
00:11:19,534 --> 00:11:22,434
More.
249
00:11:22,467 --> 00:11:24,067
What are you guys doing here?
250
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,067
ANGELA:
If you'll excuse me.
251
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,301
I have to use the ladies' room.
252
00:11:29,967 --> 00:11:31,100
Hey, Alex...
253
00:11:31,134 --> 00:11:32,434
So how's your big date?
254
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,833
All right, stop that.
255
00:11:33,867 --> 00:11:34,867
( laughter )
256
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:36,000
That's not funny.
257
00:11:36,034 --> 00:11:37,267
Hey.
258
00:11:37,301 --> 00:11:39,900
( speaking native language )
259
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,867
I think Latka likes her.
260
00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:43,967
Do you like her, Latka?
261
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,668
Maybe Alex will give you
her number.
262
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,601
You could call her up
for tomorrow night.
263
00:11:47,634 --> 00:11:49,634
Oh, no.
Thank you very much.
264
00:11:51,201 --> 00:11:52,434
All right, what
do you clowns want?
265
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,301
Yeah. Why don't you
sit down?
266
00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:01,267
Well, you know the money
that Latka found?
267
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:03,367
We're still trying
to decide what to do with it.
268
00:12:03,401 --> 00:12:05,034
We wanted you
to hold onto it
269
00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:07,301
until we figure out
what to do with it, all right?
270
00:12:07,334 --> 00:12:08,634
Yeah, because otherwise
271
00:12:08,668 --> 00:12:11,700
we're going to have
to spend the night as a group
272
00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:13,534
'cause nobody trusts nobody.
273
00:12:13,568 --> 00:12:14,668
Except you.
274
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,234
Everybody trusts you.
275
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:18,267
Okay.
276
00:12:19,267 --> 00:12:20,800
Want to give us
277
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:22,301
a receipt?
278
00:12:23,267 --> 00:12:25,201
Oh, here comes Angela.
279
00:12:28,134 --> 00:12:29,568
Now be polite, huh?
280
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:30,934
Control yourself.
281
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,167
Oh, hi.
282
00:12:32,201 --> 00:12:33,568
Good to see you back.
283
00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:35,134
Everything go all right
284
00:12:35,167 --> 00:12:36,434
in the ladies' room?
285
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:37,967
We should be going now.
286
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,601
Nice meeting you,
Angela.
287
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:40,601
See you.
288
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:41,967
Yeah, so long.
289
00:12:44,067 --> 00:12:45,267
Bet your friends
290
00:12:45,301 --> 00:12:47,334
got quite a kick
out of me, huh?
291
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,634
What do you mean?
292
00:12:48,668 --> 00:12:50,967
I heard them all break up
when I left.
293
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,234
They weren't laughing at you.
294
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:53,000
No?
295
00:12:53,034 --> 00:12:53,900
No.
296
00:12:55,201 --> 00:12:57,401
One of the guys told a joke.
297
00:12:57,434 --> 00:13:00,067
Why are you afraid to tell me
they were laughing at me? I can take it.
298
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,201
Because they weren't.
Now can we drop this?
299
00:13:02,234 --> 00:13:04,634
All I know is, I heard a big
laugh when I left the table.
300
00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,000
I told you what it was.
301
00:13:06,034 --> 00:13:07,534
What do you want from me?
302
00:13:07,568 --> 00:13:08,833
I want you to stop lying to me.
303
00:13:08,867 --> 00:13:11,867
You've been lying to me
all night, and I'm sick of it.
304
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:14,867
Okay.
305
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,934
They were laughing at you, okay?
306
00:13:19,601 --> 00:13:21,134
You could have held out.
307
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,334
I was almost ready
to believe you.
308
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:24,267
Look, you don't have
309
00:13:24,301 --> 00:13:26,100
to bother
seeing me home.
310
00:13:26,134 --> 00:13:27,201
No, I'll take you.
311
00:13:27,234 --> 00:13:29,334
No, really. I'm one of
the few women in New York
312
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:30,867
who's safe
on the streets.
313
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:33,267
Come on, you came with me,
you're leaving with me.
314
00:13:33,301 --> 00:13:35,267
Listen, let's not spoil
a lovely evening
315
00:13:35,301 --> 00:13:36,334
by arguing, okay?
316
00:13:36,367 --> 00:13:37,467
And hey, don't worry.
You did your duty.
317
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:39,467
You proved
you were a nice guy.
318
00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:41,434
I'm taking you.
319
00:13:41,467 --> 00:13:42,867
Get your paws off me.
320
00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:45,733
They give you a little dinner,
they think they own you.
321
00:13:59,267 --> 00:14:01,568
Latka! Will you cut it out?!
322
00:14:01,601 --> 00:14:04,967
You're not going to find
any more money.
323
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,201
Besides, these cabs
got to go out soon
324
00:14:08,234 --> 00:14:11,700
but they can't go out
with no back seats
325
00:14:11,733 --> 00:14:14,767
'cause where
will our passengers sit?
326
00:14:15,534 --> 00:14:17,067
You want them to squat
327
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:18,833
on the floor like ducks?
328
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:20,767
Okay.
329
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,800
Put the damn seats back
330
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,501
you dumb foreigner.
331
00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:25,634
Come on!
332
00:14:25,668 --> 00:14:26,900
Foreigner?
333
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:28,034
Yeah.
334
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,067
Did you said foreigner?
335
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:29,900
Yeah.
336
00:14:29,934 --> 00:14:31,934
For you.
337
00:14:33,934 --> 00:14:36,201
What's that mean?
338
00:14:36,234 --> 00:14:37,568
Means this.
339
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:43,501
You better smile
when you do that, buddy.
340
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,800
Oh, yeah?
341
00:14:47,134 --> 00:14:50,100
Okay, pal, mull this one over.
342
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,167
Oh, all right.
343
00:14:53,201 --> 00:14:54,767
I accept your apology.
344
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,234
But we still don't know
who was driving
345
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,100
when the money was left in it.
346
00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:09,267
Hi, Alex.
347
00:15:09,301 --> 00:15:11,867
Hey, Alex,
did you score?
348
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,534
Shut up.
349
00:15:13,568 --> 00:15:15,767
I guess not.
350
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,767
Geez.
351
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,867
I heard about your date.
352
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:21,967
Oh, yeah?
353
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,134
Yeah.
354
00:15:23,167 --> 00:15:24,501
I wonder how come?
355
00:15:24,534 --> 00:15:29,367
You get some real kooks
on blind dates, boy.
356
00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:30,934
Like this one.
357
00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:34,668
I show up--
looking good, per usual--
358
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:38,201
and this girl
comes to the door.
359
00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,334
Beautiful.
360
00:15:39,367 --> 00:15:41,134
Not your type.
361
00:15:41,167 --> 00:15:43,367
Right,
'cause to be honest
362
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:47,334
I prefer my women "H and H"--
homely and hot.
363
00:15:47,367 --> 00:15:48,733
I misjudged you, Louie.
364
00:15:48,767 --> 00:15:50,601
You're really a poet, you know?
365
00:15:50,634 --> 00:15:51,733
You bet.
366
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:53,900
Can I have
my receipt, please?
367
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:57,568
Anyway, all of a sudden,
she says, "I feel sick."
368
00:15:57,601 --> 00:16:00,900
Tells me she thinks
she was exposed to cholera
369
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:02,201
earlier that day.
370
00:16:02,234 --> 00:16:04,767
So, what did you do?
371
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,601
I tried to take
her blouse off.
372
00:16:06,634 --> 00:16:08,534
It's not my fault
she feels sick
373
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,201
so why shouldn't one of us
have a good time, right?
374
00:16:11,234 --> 00:16:13,934
You know, every time
I talk to you, Louie
375
00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,668
I feel grateful
that I haven't eaten yet.
376
00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,234
Heard about your date.
377
00:16:18,267 --> 00:16:21,568
Oh, yeah, what was it,
broadcast over the PA?
378
00:16:21,601 --> 00:16:22,967
Yeah.
379
00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:28,067
Hey, Elaine,
can I talk to you
380
00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,134
for a minute?
381
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:30,401
Yeah, sure.
382
00:16:30,434 --> 00:16:31,934
I don't want any advice.
383
00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,267
I just want to talk.
384
00:16:33,301 --> 00:16:34,501
Go ahead.
385
00:16:34,534 --> 00:16:37,733
I can't stop thinking
about that girl.
386
00:16:37,767 --> 00:16:39,967
You know,
you're a terrific guy.
387
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,334
That's not what
I want to hear.
388
00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,434
It just goes to show you
how terrific you are.
389
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,067
All night long,
she kept accusing me
390
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,401
of going through
the motions--
391
00:16:46,434 --> 00:16:48,733
that I wouldn't call
her again because of her looks
392
00:16:48,767 --> 00:16:50,934
and I kept telling
her she was wrong.
393
00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:52,234
Terrific.
394
00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:53,534
But she wasn't wrong.
395
00:16:53,568 --> 00:16:54,668
Oh, Alex, you too?
396
00:16:54,733 --> 00:16:56,833
No. Listen,
what I can't figure out
397
00:16:56,867 --> 00:16:59,234
is that hour I had
with her on the phone
398
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:02,467
was one of the greatest
conversations I've ever had.
399
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:04,334
A witty, bright,
sensitive girl
400
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:06,367
who came to the door
disappeared.
401
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:07,700
What happened to her?
402
00:17:07,733 --> 00:17:10,634
Maybe Angela ate her.
403
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,467
It wasn't just her looks.
404
00:17:18,501 --> 00:17:21,000
She was also
the bitterest, surliest
405
00:17:21,034 --> 00:17:23,367
most depressing person
I ever met.
406
00:17:23,401 --> 00:17:27,067
So, how come I feel
like I have to go see her again?
407
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,134
I don't know.
408
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:29,733
You got an answer for that?
409
00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:30,800
Yeah, I feel like
410
00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,767
I'm walking away
from a car wreck
411
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,601
with a person trapped inside.
412
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,401
That's true.
413
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:39,367
I'm going to go see her.
414
00:17:39,401 --> 00:17:40,467
Oh, before I forget
415
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:42,568
you can give us
that money back now.
416
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:44,301
Even though we're
nowhere near
417
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:45,967
figuring out
how to split it.
418
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,201
Hey, listen, Latka found it.
419
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:48,467
Why don't you give
it all to him?
420
00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:50,733
That's one we
didn't think of.
421
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:52,467
What are you talking about?
422
00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:55,733
He doesn't know what to do
with that kind of money.
423
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,634
Yeah, he'll probably
just blow it
424
00:17:57,668 --> 00:17:59,301
on rent or food
or something.
425
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,434
How can you give it to him?
426
00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:04,467
You want to pop the veins
in my head?
427
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,601
Here, Latka,
take your money.
428
00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:11,367
Okay, you guys.
429
00:18:13,700 --> 00:18:15,634
( speakingnative language )
430
00:18:17,434 --> 00:18:20,334
Thank you very much.
431
00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:25,100
Hey, no, no.
432
00:18:25,134 --> 00:18:26,434
Latka, Latka, please.
433
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:27,568
Please, not now.
434
00:18:57,401 --> 00:18:59,367
Let's make it seven out of 13.
435
00:19:05,034 --> 00:19:06,967
What are you doing
this time
436
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000
praying
nobody will be home?
437
00:19:09,034 --> 00:19:12,700
Huh? No. Listen, I just
dropped by because I, I...
438
00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:13,900
Come in if you want.
439
00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:16,067
Okay.
440
00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:20,334
I guess I should have called
first, but, uh...
441
00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:22,501
Hey, is this
our second date?
442
00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:23,501
I don't know.
443
00:19:23,534 --> 00:19:25,401
Let's say it is.
I've never had one.
444
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:27,700
Okay, it's our second date.
445
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:30,700
Good, so far it looks like
I haven't been missing anything.
446
00:19:30,733 --> 00:19:33,134
Hey, Angela? Will you just let
me get out what I have to say?
447
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:34,401
Because I don't want to end up
448
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,800
with us doing that stupid stuff
that we did last night.
449
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:38,034
You mean falling in love?
450
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,668
Would you like to hear
what I have to say or not?
451
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:40,700
Can I get a drink first?
452
00:19:40,733 --> 00:19:42,601
I have a feeling
I'm going to need a drink.
453
00:19:42,634 --> 00:19:43,934
Yeah, go ahead.
454
00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:45,534
You want anything?
No, thanks.
455
00:19:45,568 --> 00:19:48,100
So, what's on your mind?
456
00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:51,267
Well, I, uh...
457
00:19:51,301 --> 00:19:52,733
I don't really know.
458
00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:54,733
I, uh...
459
00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:58,367
I guess I would sort of like
to get to know you better.
460
00:19:58,401 --> 00:19:59,367
Why?
461
00:19:59,401 --> 00:20:00,568
Why not?
462
00:20:00,601 --> 00:20:03,234
Well, you might not know
to look at me
463
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:07,267
but I'm not exactly beautiful,
or, uh, even good-looking.
464
00:20:07,301 --> 00:20:08,733
I'm not quite plain.
465
00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:12,000
Now, feel free to jump in
and stop me anytime.
466
00:20:12,034 --> 00:20:13,134
Hey, come on.
467
00:20:13,167 --> 00:20:15,167
I'm no Robert Redford,
you know.
468
00:20:15,201 --> 00:20:17,700
I wouldn't mind looking like you
if I was a man.
469
00:20:17,733 --> 00:20:19,401
Would you want
to look like me?
470
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:21,100
Wouldn't be so bad.
471
00:20:21,134 --> 00:20:24,334
I'd, you know,
kind of fix up my hair
472
00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:28,568
and, uh... I'd do that
sort of stuff with makeup
473
00:20:28,601 --> 00:20:32,900
and, uh, I'd go to a gym,
and I'd work on myself.
474
00:20:32,934 --> 00:20:34,568
I mean,
that's what I would do.
475
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:37,201
Not that I'm saying
that you should do anything.
476
00:20:37,234 --> 00:20:40,034
It's just what I would do.
477
00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:43,267
Okay, let's say I did
all the hairdo and makeup
478
00:20:43,301 --> 00:20:45,733
and everything and dropped
ten or 70 pounds.
479
00:20:45,767 --> 00:20:47,568
Do you think I'd be attractive?
480
00:20:49,334 --> 00:20:51,000
Do you think I'd be attractive?
481
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,167
Yeah, sure, why not?
482
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,833
In a romantic sort of way?
483
00:20:55,867 --> 00:20:58,000
You don't have
to answer.
484
00:20:58,034 --> 00:20:59,900
You could just nod.
485
00:20:59,934 --> 00:21:01,833
Hey, look, I'm not, uh...
486
00:21:01,867 --> 00:21:05,700
I haven't been romantically
involved in eight years
487
00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:09,267
and I'm not about to break
my streak right now.
488
00:21:09,301 --> 00:21:11,467
Hey, look, but we, uh...
we did have fun
489
00:21:11,501 --> 00:21:14,000
talking on the phone
the other day, didn't we?
490
00:21:14,034 --> 00:21:15,833
I mean, that
was sort of special.
491
00:21:15,867 --> 00:21:18,167
Hey, look, I swear
I'm not that comfortable
492
00:21:18,201 --> 00:21:19,434
with that many people.
493
00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:23,100
I just think that we
could get to be friends.
494
00:21:23,134 --> 00:21:25,234
I can't believe you came
all the way back here
495
00:21:25,267 --> 00:21:26,833
just because
you forgot to give me
496
00:21:26,867 --> 00:21:28,301
the "let's be friends" speech.
497
00:21:28,334 --> 00:21:29,800
Hey, can we drop that?
498
00:21:29,833 --> 00:21:33,934
I just think I'd like to get
to know you better, that's all.
499
00:21:33,967 --> 00:21:35,434
You want me to open up?
500
00:21:35,467 --> 00:21:38,000
Would that
make you happy?
501
00:21:38,034 --> 00:21:39,900
Make you feel like
502
00:21:39,934 --> 00:21:43,467
you did your good deed
for the day?
503
00:21:43,501 --> 00:21:44,867
Okay. Okay.
504
00:21:44,900 --> 00:21:46,467
But then you better plan on
sticking around.
505
00:21:46,501 --> 00:21:48,000
Because I'm not standing here
alone
506
00:21:48,034 --> 00:21:50,668
with my insides on the floor,
while you walk out
507
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,000
feeling you did
the poor fat girl some big favor
508
00:21:53,034 --> 00:21:55,634
by helping her get in touch
with her feelings.
509
00:21:58,201 --> 00:21:59,833
You want to be a hero?
510
00:21:59,867 --> 00:22:01,301
Then be prepared
to stick around
511
00:22:01,334 --> 00:22:02,800
for the rest of the war, okay?
512
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,867
Maybe I will.
513
00:22:05,900 --> 00:22:07,367
But can we start slower--
514
00:22:07,401 --> 00:22:08,934
like where we went
to high school
515
00:22:08,967 --> 00:22:11,467
and then we'll work up
to your insides on the floor?
516
00:22:17,234 --> 00:22:22,301
Hey, Angela, I think we had
a normal moment there.
517
00:22:22,334 --> 00:22:23,634
Huh?
518
00:22:26,034 --> 00:22:27,767
Well, listen, uh,
you don't mind
519
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,134
if I get a little clear
520
00:22:29,167 --> 00:22:31,334
on what we're trying
to establish here.
521
00:22:31,367 --> 00:22:33,334
It wouldn't make you nuts,
would it?
522
00:22:33,367 --> 00:22:35,067
No, it would not
make me nuts.
523
00:22:39,401 --> 00:22:40,601
So, uh...
524
00:22:40,634 --> 00:22:43,067
so, what it is, is, is...
525
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:47,034
I could call you
whenever I feel like it?
526
00:22:47,067 --> 00:22:50,434
If I need advice,
I could call you?
527
00:22:50,467 --> 00:22:52,833
Yeah.
528
00:22:54,334 --> 00:22:58,067
Uh... if you need advice,
you could call me?
529
00:22:58,100 --> 00:22:59,900
Yup.
530
00:22:59,934 --> 00:23:03,534
If we have something
interesting happening
531
00:23:03,568 --> 00:23:05,767
we could call each other?
532
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,134
Yeah.
533
00:23:08,167 --> 00:23:10,867
We could call
just to shoot the breeze?
534
00:23:12,100 --> 00:23:13,201
Yeah.
535
00:23:14,568 --> 00:23:15,568
Yup.
536
00:23:15,601 --> 00:23:20,000
Or, uh...
537
00:23:20,034 --> 00:23:23,467
if I just need a hug?
538
00:23:37,134 --> 00:23:41,201
Uh, you know how long
it's been since I cried?
539
00:23:41,234 --> 00:23:43,100
No.
540
00:23:43,134 --> 00:23:44,967
A half an hour.
541
00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:59,367
( theme music playing )
542
00:24:23,467 --> 00:24:25,234
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
543
00:24:25,267 --> 00:24:26,367
( grunts )
544
00:24:26,417 --> 00:24:30,967
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