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1
00:00:04,734 --> 00:00:07,767
( theme music playing )
2
00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:23,834
Zena's here to fill
the candy machine.
3
00:01:23,868 --> 00:01:25,501
Hi, gang!
4
00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:27,000
I got it, man!
I'm in!
5
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,133
( shouting )
6
00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,567
I got here
for the first time.
7
00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:32,000
Can you believe this?
8
00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,801
A bunch of adults
fighting over a candy bar.
9
00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:37,234
Hold that thought, Bobby,
she's brought malted balls.
10
00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,400
Oh, yeah?
11
00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:39,801
Bobby, seniority,
seniority...
12
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:41,367
No, wait,
I'm second.
13
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,300
Hey, Zena,
how you doing?
14
00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:44,467
Terrific,
thanks.
15
00:01:44,501 --> 00:01:45,734
Hey, Tony--
16
00:01:45,767 --> 00:01:47,801
here's that organic shampoo
I was telling you about.
17
00:01:47,834 --> 00:01:49,968
Oh, thanks, Zena.
What do I owe you?
18
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,767
First one is free.
Then after I get you hooked...
19
00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:54,467
You know, Zena,
my kids just love
20
00:01:54,501 --> 00:01:56,133
those puppets
you made for them.
21
00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:57,167
Thanks again, really.
22
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,400
Oh, that's okay.
Bobby, you know, I went to see
23
00:01:59,434 --> 00:02:01,667
that O'Neill revival
you were telling me about.
24
00:02:01,701 --> 00:02:03,100
Oh, yeah?
What did you think?
25
00:02:03,133 --> 00:02:04,567
I thought that the only thing
that could
26
00:02:04,601 --> 00:02:05,834
have made it better
was you in it.
27
00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:08,667
Oh, you noticed that,
too, huh?
28
00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,300
Out of the way,
out of the way!
29
00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:12,501
No!
Hey! No!
30
00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:15,434
Out of the way or
I'll call you last for a cab.
31
00:02:15,467 --> 00:02:17,567
Oh!
Oh!
32
00:02:23,267 --> 00:02:26,067
It's so easy.
33
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:32,000
Whoo!
34
00:02:32,033 --> 00:02:35,534
The first Baby Ruth.
35
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,400
M-m-m-mm!
36
00:02:45,801 --> 00:02:49,534
Why does the first one
always taste the best?
37
00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:51,133
How should we know?
38
00:02:51,167 --> 00:02:53,534
You always eat
the first one.
39
00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,000
Oh, silly me.
40
00:02:56,033 --> 00:03:01,334
You may now resume
fighting over the stale ones.
41
00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:04,133
Well, it's something.
42
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,400
Oh, hey, Zena?
43
00:03:05,434 --> 00:03:08,133
Have you got change
for a dollar because...?
44
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:10,167
Zena? Hey!
45
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,300
Oh, sorry.
46
00:03:11,334 --> 00:03:13,701
Boy, he's really
something, isn't he?
47
00:03:13,734 --> 00:03:15,067
Louie?
48
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,834
Hoo! There's an exterminator
who wants him to pose
49
00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:20,834
for the side of his truck.
50
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,467
He must take a lot of
ribbing from you drivers.
51
00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:25,400
Yeah, none of it's
good-natured.
52
00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:27,033
Now, I guess
that's natural
53
00:03:27,067 --> 00:03:28,200
making fun of the boss.
54
00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:31,901
Bet you don't even
notice how cute he is.
55
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:32,901
Louie?
56
00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:34,000
Yeah.
57
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:35,434
Louie?!
58
00:03:35,467 --> 00:03:36,868
Yeah!
59
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,901
I don't know,
maybe it's me.
60
00:03:39,934 --> 00:03:42,834
Maybe I just get turned on
by powerful men.
61
00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:45,200
Louie!?
62
00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:49,367
Yeah. You know, all these weeks
watching him up there
63
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,067
keeping this huge
operation humming.
64
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,501
Boy, if I wasn't
so shy, I'd...
65
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,467
Uh, you'd what?
66
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:58,601
Oh, Elaine...
67
00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:00,868
would you introduce me to him?
68
00:04:00,901 --> 00:04:02,267
Louie?
69
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:06,234
Oh, Zena, um,
that's not a good idea.
70
00:04:06,267 --> 00:04:07,267
Why not?
71
00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:09,067
It's a bad idea.
72
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:11,934
Oh, I see what
you're trying to say.
73
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,033
Yeah.
74
00:04:13,067 --> 00:04:14,868
You want him for yourself.
75
00:04:14,901 --> 00:04:16,767
( screams )
76
00:04:16,801 --> 00:04:18,200
Hey, what happened?
77
00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:20,767
Zena says I want
Louie for myself.
78
00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:21,868
( screams )
79
00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:23,033
What are you
talking about?
80
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:24,434
Then I take it
you don't.
81
00:04:24,467 --> 00:04:25,534
No!
Then there's no problem.
82
00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:26,734
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
83
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,968
What's the problem
there isn't one of?
84
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,734
Zena wants to meet Louie.
85
00:04:30,767 --> 00:04:32,534
I could never
do it on my own.
86
00:04:32,567 --> 00:04:34,434
I need somebody
to introduce me.
87
00:04:35,834 --> 00:04:37,501
I'm trying to save her
from herself, but...
88
00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:39,267
I mean, I got nothing
to worry about, right?
89
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:41,767
I mean, who in this
garage is going to introduce her to Louie?
90
00:04:41,801 --> 00:04:45,801
Elaine, damn it, she's an adult.
You don't lead people's lives.
91
00:04:45,834 --> 00:04:49,133
Hey, Zena,
I'll introduce you to Louie.
92
00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:51,767
What would you like me to say?
93
00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,133
Say you think
we'd like each other.
94
00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:55,334
Okay.
95
00:04:57,501 --> 00:04:59,067
You're going
to say that?
96
00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,634
That's what she wants me
to say, and that's what I'm going to say.
97
00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,100
Come on, Zena.
98
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,734
Stay close by me.
99
00:05:04,767 --> 00:05:07,667
He's not in a cage
for nothing.
100
00:05:07,701 --> 00:05:10,834
All right,
listen up here, everybody!
101
00:05:10,868 --> 00:05:12,334
New rule here,
102
00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:13,467
new rule.
103
00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:17,801
Yes, we do take out
cabs with bald tires.
104
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:19,033
We do.
105
00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:23,567
Hey, uh, Louie... Louie?
106
00:05:23,601 --> 00:05:24,667
What?
107
00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:26,534
Louie, I'd like you
to meet Zena Sherman.
108
00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,501
Zena, Louie DePalma.
109
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,434
Zena wanted to meet you.
110
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,434
Oh, yeah?
111
00:05:32,467 --> 00:05:33,701
Yeah.
112
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:37,834
I think maybe
you'll, uh... like each other.
113
00:05:40,234 --> 00:05:42,000
Oh.
114
00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:53,901
How do you do?
115
00:05:53,934 --> 00:05:55,234
Hi.
116
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:57,033
All right, if you'll
excuse me now,
117
00:05:57,067 --> 00:05:58,334
I'll leave
you two alone.
118
00:05:58,367 --> 00:06:00,567
I have to get some
bald tires on the road.
119
00:06:02,701 --> 00:06:05,033
I like your goodies.
120
00:06:08,567 --> 00:06:11,667
How long you been
in this sweets field?
121
00:06:11,701 --> 00:06:13,200
Almost a year now.
122
00:06:14,534 --> 00:06:17,334
You do it very well.
123
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,834
Um... my cousin is getting
married tomorrow night.
124
00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:30,400
Would you like to go
to the wedding?
125
00:06:30,434 --> 00:06:31,868
It's a free dinner.
126
00:06:31,901 --> 00:06:33,267
Thank you.
127
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,534
I'd really like to.
128
00:06:35,567 --> 00:06:37,000
Swell.
129
00:06:37,033 --> 00:06:41,968
Uh, oh, and it is a wedding,
so dress up a little, okay?
130
00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:56,100
What are you
looking at me for?
131
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,033
She wanted me
to introduce her,
132
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,334
so I introduced her.
133
00:06:59,367 --> 00:07:00,834
So, what's the big deal?
134
00:07:00,868 --> 00:07:02,033
It's just one date.
135
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,534
What's the worst thing
that can happen?
136
00:07:04,567 --> 00:07:05,934
She could have his baby.
137
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,033
( screams )
138
00:07:13,234 --> 00:07:14,934
Ooh!
139
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:16,701
Sorry I'm late...
140
00:07:16,734 --> 00:07:18,267
( chortles )
141
00:07:20,234 --> 00:07:23,534
but Zena and I had
another one of those nights.
142
00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,767
I didn't even have
time to change.
143
00:07:26,801 --> 00:07:28,734
You'll have to
excuse my attire.
144
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:30,767
She ripped the shirt
off my back.
145
00:07:32,434 --> 00:07:34,901
But I guess when
you're burning
146
00:07:34,934 --> 00:07:36,767
the candle
at both ends
147
00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:41,567
for five weeks straight, you're
going to have to pay the price.
148
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:43,000
Give me three
cards, all right?
149
00:07:43,033 --> 00:07:45,667
He's driving me crazy.
150
00:07:45,701 --> 00:07:48,934
There's only one consolation
in this whole sordid affair.
151
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:49,767
Yeah, what's that?
152
00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:51,734
I didn't introduce them.
153
00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:55,634
All right, now remember
our agreement:
154
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:57,467
Nobody asks him nothing.
155
00:07:57,501 --> 00:07:58,901
ALEX:
Right.
156
00:07:58,934 --> 00:08:00,901
I don't know
how much longer
157
00:08:00,934 --> 00:08:02,367
I can keep this up.
158
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,634
I'm only human, I mean.
159
00:08:04,667 --> 00:08:06,300
( chortles )
160
00:08:06,334 --> 00:08:09,601
How much pleasure
can one man endure?
161
00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:16,000
Isn't anybody
the least bit curious
162
00:08:16,033 --> 00:08:19,334
as to why I didn't have
time to change this morning
163
00:08:19,367 --> 00:08:20,934
or yesterday,
164
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:24,133
or the day before,
ad infinitum?
165
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:26,167
What do you got,
what do you got?
166
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:27,367
I got nothing.
167
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,000
Alex, I thought at least
you would be interested
168
00:08:31,033 --> 00:08:32,868
in the intimate details.
169
00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:35,434
After all, you are
kind of responsible.
170
00:08:35,467 --> 00:08:36,567
( chortles )
171
00:08:36,601 --> 00:08:38,934
I don't want you
to do that anymore.
172
00:08:38,968 --> 00:08:39,934
Do what?
173
00:08:39,968 --> 00:08:42,133
( mimics chortling )
174
00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:43,367
I don't do that.
175
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:46,000
Yes, you do, you do it
almost continuously.
176
00:08:46,033 --> 00:08:47,334
I don't!
177
00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:49,901
Yes, you do. You do it
every time you mention Zena.
178
00:08:49,934 --> 00:08:51,000
( chortles )
179
00:08:51,033 --> 00:08:52,934
You just did it.
180
00:08:52,968 --> 00:08:54,167
I did? Really?
181
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,701
I don't even know
182
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:56,868
I'm doing it.
183
00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:58,567
I'll tell you what:
184
00:08:58,601 --> 00:09:00,701
The next time I do it,
hold up your hand.
185
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,167
Look, I don't have to
hold up my hand.
186
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,501
You do it every time
you mention her name!
187
00:09:04,534 --> 00:09:06,067
You're crazy!
188
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,467
Zena.
189
00:09:08,634 --> 00:09:11,100
( chortles )
190
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,300
I don't even realize
I'm doing it.
191
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:15,567
But I'll tell you
one thing, Rieger,
192
00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:18,767
you'd be hee-hee-heeing,
too, if you were having
193
00:09:18,801 --> 00:09:20,901
experiences with
a woman like...
194
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,801
Go away.
195
00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:27,067
I got to tell somebody.
196
00:09:32,367 --> 00:09:35,734
I don't even let
people I like touch my hair.
197
00:09:42,534 --> 00:09:47,934
Whisper in my ear and
you'll be whispering for life.
198
00:10:11,534 --> 00:10:13,100
Nah!
199
00:10:14,167 --> 00:10:16,734
Hey, Louie, they
want you upstairs.
200
00:10:16,767 --> 00:10:18,067
Okeydoke.
201
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:21,067
Listen, Zena is going
to be in any minute now.
202
00:10:21,100 --> 00:10:23,534
Tell her that I'm
going to pick her up
203
00:10:23,567 --> 00:10:25,067
tonight at 8:00 sharp.
204
00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:29,367
We're going to go out to dinner.
205
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:33,000
At least, we're going to
try to go out to dinner.
206
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,367
That's what I say every night.
207
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,634
* Macho, macho man
208
00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:42,667
* I've got to be a macho man
209
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:44,667
* I'm a macho man...
210
00:10:46,067 --> 00:10:48,901
I'll tell you, I just
can't understand Zena.
211
00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:50,634
You know what my theory is?
212
00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:53,868
My theory is that,
since she's not a stupid person
213
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:57,701
she must see some quality in
Louie that we've always missed.
214
00:10:57,734 --> 00:11:00,167
Yeah, my theory is
that Louie must have
215
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:03,367
some redeeming virtue
that we've always overlooked.
216
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,701
My theory is, Zena is nuts.
217
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:09,267
That makes more sense.
218
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,501
Hi, everybody!
219
00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:12,667
Hey, Zena, how
you doing? Oh, hi, Zena.
220
00:11:12,701 --> 00:11:16,167
Hey, Alex, could
I talk to you for a minute, alone?
221
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,300
Yeah, sure.
222
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:19,267
Hey, would you guys...?
223
00:11:21,601 --> 00:11:22,968
Okay, shoot.
224
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,300
I know I'm imposing, but
I hoped you wouldn't mind.
225
00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:29,167
I mean, you did bring
Louie and me together.
226
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:33,234
I have a feeling when I die,
they'll put that on my stone.
227
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:34,367
Yeah?
228
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,234
Uh, it's kind of personal.
229
00:11:38,267 --> 00:11:40,267
It embarrasses me
to talk about it.
230
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,667
Well...
231
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:45,200
All right, we've been seeing
each other for five weeks,
232
00:11:45,234 --> 00:11:47,734
and, uh, being
normal, healthy adults
233
00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:51,133
it's natural we'd have
some physical involvement.
234
00:11:51,167 --> 00:11:52,834
Yeah.
235
00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:54,334
So why haven't we?
236
00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:58,901
I mean, you know Louie.
237
00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:00,267
What is it?
238
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,300
Why won't
he touch me?
239
00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:10,100
You mean he hasn't touched you?
240
00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:12,434
I can't even get him
to hold my hand.
241
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:17,667
( stifled laughter )
242
00:12:19,734 --> 00:12:22,634
Gee, Zena, that's too bad.
243
00:12:22,667 --> 00:12:25,601
( stifled hystericallaughter )
244
00:12:41,267 --> 00:12:42,467
Good evening,
everybody.
245
00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:43,634
( chuckles )
246
00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:46,634
Sorry I can't join you,
but I got a hot date tonight.
247
00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:48,501
( imitates sizzling )
248
00:12:48,534 --> 00:12:50,801
Well, maybe I'll stick
around for just one.
249
00:12:50,834 --> 00:12:52,133
Tommy?
250
00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,200
Yeah-- beer?
251
00:12:53,234 --> 00:12:54,968
Yeah, beer.
252
00:12:58,267 --> 00:12:59,501
Thanks.
You're welcome.
253
00:12:59,534 --> 00:13:02,334
Zena doesn't expect me
for another half hour,
254
00:13:02,367 --> 00:13:04,300
and I like to be
a little late
255
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:06,701
so she's really
chomping at the bit.
256
00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:07,801
( chortles )
257
00:13:07,834 --> 00:13:08,834
Uh, Louie...
258
00:13:08,868 --> 00:13:11,133
I know. I did it
on purpose.
259
00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:13,467
Boy, oh boy,
I finally found
260
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,067
a girl who can
keep up with me.
261
00:13:16,100 --> 00:13:17,734
Ugh! Jeez!
262
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,801
She's jealous!
263
00:13:20,834 --> 00:13:23,167
( chuckles )
264
00:13:25,501 --> 00:13:28,434
Louie, Zena and I had
a long talk today
265
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:30,400
about things
that happened
266
00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:33,200
and about things
that didn't happen.
267
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:35,567
You did?
268
00:13:36,701 --> 00:13:37,767
Uh, excuse us.
269
00:13:37,801 --> 00:13:39,534
Alex has this problem.
270
00:13:39,567 --> 00:13:42,167
It'll be okay.
Don't worry, relax. You...
271
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,300
She's lying.
272
00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:44,667
Yeah? Why would she lie?
273
00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:46,400
I don't know-- she just is.
274
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,133
Alex, it's me against her.
275
00:13:48,167 --> 00:13:51,167
How do you know
I'm lying?
276
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,467
Oh, yeah.
277
00:13:54,133 --> 00:13:55,467
All right, Louie, it's over.
278
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,801
No more talk about Zena,
you understand?
279
00:13:57,834 --> 00:14:00,067
Alex, Alex, I don't
want you to leave with the wrong idea.
280
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,334
Let me explain.
Now look, Louie,
281
00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,067
I heard enough out
of you today, all right?
282
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:04,067
Alex!
283
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,467
I got to open up
to someone.
284
00:14:05,501 --> 00:14:08,467
You're the only one
I almost can stomach.
285
00:14:08,501 --> 00:14:09,901
Aah, come on.
286
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:14,634
Alex, if you won't do it
out of compassion--
287
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:16,467
out of pure humanity--
288
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,033
would you do it for money?
289
00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:22,334
You want to pay me
to listen?
290
00:14:22,367 --> 00:14:23,868
I want you to do for me
291
00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:26,267
what you do for Bobby
and Tony and the other guys.
292
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:30,701
Well, I am a little
short this week.
293
00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:31,701
Well, all right...
294
00:14:31,734 --> 00:14:33,367
Great! How much you want?
295
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,334
Well, that depends on
what you have to say.
296
00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,267
Sit down.
297
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,300
All right.
298
00:14:39,334 --> 00:14:40,868
All right, here it is.
299
00:14:40,901 --> 00:14:42,067
Here's the truth.
300
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,167
It's her fault.
301
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,067
20 bucks.
302
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:47,834
20 dollars? Are you crazy?
For "her fault"?!
303
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:48,934
20 bucks.
304
00:14:48,968 --> 00:14:50,567
( groans )
305
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,334
You see, it's
because she's...
306
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:04,267
I mean,
how do I put this?
307
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:08,567
Alex... she's my first.
308
00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:11,033
Oh, come on, Louie,
she's not your first.
309
00:15:11,067 --> 00:15:13,968
Everybody knows that
when you were driving a cab
310
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,167
and tourists wanted to find
out where the women were,
311
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,400
you didn't tell them,
you took them.
312
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:22,601
And whenever possible,
you joined them.
313
00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:25,300
Hold on, I don't want
you to get the wrong idea.
314
00:15:25,334 --> 00:15:27,634
I've had my share of women,
and then some,
315
00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:29,434
and I've always
left them happy.
316
00:15:29,467 --> 00:15:31,367
I can't tell you
how many told me,
317
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,501
"Louie, this is crazy,
I should pay you!"
318
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,167
That'll be another ten.
319
00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:39,601
That's fair.
320
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:49,801
Look, you see, my thing
with Zena is different.
321
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:53,234
I mean, it's the first time
I ever had a girl
322
00:15:53,267 --> 00:15:57,000
who calls me to find out
if I got home all right.
323
00:15:58,033 --> 00:16:00,000
The first one
324
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:03,033
to just take a walk with me.
325
00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:08,167
The first one to surprise me
with little gifts.
326
00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:14,300
She's the first girl
that ever did this to me.
327
00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:16,501
Don't do that.
328
00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:17,968
I had to show you.
329
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,200
You haven't got enough money
in your pocket for that one.
330
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:28,400
Alex, what I'm
trying to tell you
331
00:16:28,434 --> 00:16:31,100
is that Zena
is the first girl
332
00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:34,200
I've ever been
out with... who...
333
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,701
...the first girl I've
ever been out with twice.
334
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:47,467
Oh, Zena's not your first girl,
she's your first nice girl.
335
00:16:47,501 --> 00:16:50,334
Yeah! And I can't handle it!
336
00:16:51,534 --> 00:16:53,100
I mean, I was brought up
337
00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:55,400
believing that
there was nice girls
338
00:16:55,434 --> 00:16:57,167
and girls you had fun with
339
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,534
and there was
no mixing of the two.
340
00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:03,367
I like Zena...
341
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,234
I really do.
342
00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:08,734
But I can't even
bring myself to kiss her.
343
00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:11,534
Well, there's only
one thing you can do, Louie:
344
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:13,801
Break up with
this lovely, warm person
345
00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:16,200
who obviously feels
a great deal for you
346
00:17:16,234 --> 00:17:18,067
and spend the rest
of your life
347
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,200
floating through
meaningless affairs
348
00:17:20,234 --> 00:17:22,801
with cheap strangers
who you'll have to pay
349
00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:26,567
to satisfy your disgusting
physical lust.
350
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:31,133
Great advice.
351
00:17:37,133 --> 00:17:38,834
( knocking at door )
352
00:17:42,033 --> 00:17:43,534
Coming!
353
00:17:45,701 --> 00:17:47,667
Hi, I'm
almost ready.
354
00:17:47,701 --> 00:17:49,501
I got you some flowers.
355
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:50,734
Thanks.
356
00:17:50,767 --> 00:17:51,968
I threw them away.
357
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,100
Why?
358
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,334
Because that's
the kind of guy I am.
359
00:17:55,367 --> 00:17:57,100
We're not
going out tonight.
360
00:17:57,133 --> 00:17:58,267
Why not?
361
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,100
Because that's the kind
of night this is.
362
00:18:00,133 --> 00:18:01,434
I think you better sit down.
363
00:18:01,467 --> 00:18:02,567
You look tired, Louie.
364
00:18:02,601 --> 00:18:04,267
Want me to rub your feet?
365
00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:05,300
No.
366
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,567
Your shoulders?
No.
367
00:18:06,601 --> 00:18:09,200
That little vein
in your head?
368
00:18:09,234 --> 00:18:10,601
No rubbing.
369
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:13,434
I... I got
something to say.
370
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:14,467
Sounds serious.
371
00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:15,501
What is it?
372
00:18:16,701 --> 00:18:19,601
Zena, I'm going to be
straight with you.
373
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,200
We're splitting up.
Good-bye.
374
00:18:26,234 --> 00:18:27,601
Why?
375
00:18:27,634 --> 00:18:31,701
You really want to drag
this out, don't you?
376
00:18:31,734 --> 00:18:33,767
I just want to know why.
377
00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:36,200
Why!
378
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:40,400
There's someone else.
379
00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:43,434
Oh, I see.
380
00:18:44,434 --> 00:18:45,701
Who?
381
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:48,501
( mutters ):
Who?
382
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,501
Donna Summer.
383
00:18:57,033 --> 00:18:58,868
We had a little spat
before I met you.
384
00:18:58,901 --> 00:19:01,334
I couldn't take the pressure
of the racial thing.
385
00:19:01,367 --> 00:19:04,434
And besides, she's
always shaking it in front of other guys.
386
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,167
It got to me.
387
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,234
I told her, "I don't
want you moaning on records anymore."
388
00:19:09,267 --> 00:19:11,167
This morning she
gave me a call, we...
389
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:14,667
Stop it, Louie.
Just don't make up stories.
390
00:19:14,701 --> 00:19:17,868
I think I deserve
better than that.
391
00:19:33,167 --> 00:19:34,667
I know what it is.
392
00:19:36,734 --> 00:19:38,701
You think I'm
too good for you.
393
00:19:38,734 --> 00:19:41,667
Nah, you crazy?
394
00:19:41,701 --> 00:19:44,567
It's just that
you're too good, period.
395
00:19:46,467 --> 00:19:51,534
I'm used to
another kind of woman.
396
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:53,267
You're so nice.
397
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:58,501
I can't ever
even think of...
398
00:19:58,534 --> 00:20:02,601
relating to you
in a nonverbal manner.
399
00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:08,634
Oh, I see.
400
00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:16,367
Louie, you know,
when people like each other a lot
401
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,400
they should be able
to work things out.
402
00:20:19,434 --> 00:20:21,767
I'm willing to try.
403
00:20:23,334 --> 00:20:25,234
I'm nuts about
you, Louie.
404
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,501
Well, you-you're hocking me
all the time, right?
405
00:20:30,534 --> 00:20:32,667
I mean, let me
ask you a question.
406
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,667
Why are you nuts about me?
407
00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,400
To tell you the truth,
408
00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:41,400
I've been asking
myself that question.
409
00:20:41,434 --> 00:20:44,701
My friends have
been asking me that question, my parents.
410
00:20:44,734 --> 00:20:47,334
The doorman's
been asking me that question.
411
00:20:47,367 --> 00:20:51,267
I don't know
what to tell them.
412
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,000
But I know
what to tell you.
413
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,767
You touch me.
414
00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,701
Holy crap!
415
00:21:10,267 --> 00:21:12,767
You know,
all those nights
416
00:21:12,801 --> 00:21:15,834
when you left me
at my doorstep
417
00:21:15,868 --> 00:21:18,767
I'd go into my
bedroom and cry.
418
00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,968
Take me to the place you cry.
419
00:21:49,868 --> 00:21:50,901
What's going on?
420
00:21:50,934 --> 00:21:52,667
I can't go in there, Zena!
421
00:21:52,701 --> 00:21:55,033
Oh, open it!
422
00:21:55,067 --> 00:21:57,501
No... I'm sorry.
423
00:21:57,534 --> 00:22:00,133
( banging on door )
424
00:22:00,167 --> 00:22:02,801
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
but this is really the end.
425
00:22:02,834 --> 00:22:04,200
Okay, Louie!
426
00:22:05,667 --> 00:22:07,000
All right.
427
00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:16,067
Louie, would
you just do me one last favor?
428
00:22:16,100 --> 00:22:17,534
What's that?
429
00:22:18,567 --> 00:22:21,334
How about
a good-bye kiss?
430
00:22:28,767 --> 00:22:31,100
Women!
431
00:22:31,133 --> 00:22:34,000
It would mean
a lot to me.
432
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:38,868
"It would mean a lot to me..."
433
00:22:43,901 --> 00:22:45,901
All right!
434
00:23:07,667 --> 00:23:10,000
Well, so long...
435
00:23:24,634 --> 00:23:26,667
( moans )
436
00:23:28,634 --> 00:23:31,834
You can go now, Louie.
437
00:23:31,868 --> 00:23:34,334
That's easy
for you to say.
438
00:23:34,367 --> 00:23:36,167
( chuckles )
439
00:23:43,467 --> 00:23:44,601
Louie?
440
00:23:46,067 --> 00:23:47,234
Yeah?
441
00:23:47,267 --> 00:23:49,267
( chortles )
442
00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,701
( theme music playing )
443
00:24:28,434 --> 00:24:30,000
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
444
00:24:30,033 --> 00:24:31,367
( grunts )
445
00:24:31,417 --> 00:24:35,967
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