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1
00:00:15,900 --> 00:00:20,780
We come into this world alone,
and we leave this world alone.
2
00:00:20,940 --> 00:00:28,020
Inbetween, if we're lucky,
we find someone we connect with.
3
00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:39,940
Hey!
No drink in the cemetery!
4
00:00:40,100 --> 00:00:43,540
But if you want to: just go ahead.
5
00:00:44,220 --> 00:00:47,350
Dear friends,
welcome to Los Angeles.
6
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:51,340
The La La Land
where dreams can come true.
7
00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:55,550
And actually, mine did,
at least for a while.
8
00:00:56,460 --> 00:01:01,180
Nowadays I live
in the darker areas of the city.
9
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:04,940
Its not as pretty
and a lot less sunny.
10
00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:14,140
So how did a Swede like me
end up in Los Angeles
11
00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:18,300
barely making a living
as a private investigator?
12
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:22,100
That's a story for another day.
13
00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:25,580
All you need to know for now,
is that I was broke.
14
00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,080
You have - one -
new message.
15
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:32,220
Ingmar, it's me, Bill. You owe
me $6 000, motherfucker!
16
00:01:32,290 --> 00:01:36,820
With interest, that's $8000!
Pay up! Or Die!
17
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:43,140
So there I was, in a situation where
if I didn't get some money and get it fast
18
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:47,440
I would lose the business I
had spent ten years building.
19
00:01:49,530 --> 00:01:53,190
But sometimes Lady Luck
smiles down on you.
20
00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:08,750
No, shit!
You'll never catch me, Ingmar!
21
00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:12,690
Of course, I will, Leo.
You need to eat less. And work out more.
22
00:02:12,740 --> 00:02:15,360
What, you call me fat?
-No, just calling you slow!
23
00:02:15,390 --> 00:02:18,900
You're an dick!
-Leo, I'm coming to get ya.
24
00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:22,020
Oh, Leo!
25
00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,470
Leo!
26
00:02:25,150 --> 00:02:29,960
Wait ...come back here!
- Wait... Wait, timeout!
27
00:02:30,010 --> 00:02:32,590
Timeout? You making it too easy, Leo.
28
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:38,710
I think I'm having a heart attack.
- "Im havin a heart attack". You're such a drama queen.
29
00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:42,420
I'm serious! I'm having a..aargh
-Oh ye ye yeah
30
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:47,380
I'm not buying it, Leo. Come on. Stand up.
31
00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:51,370
We don't have time for this.
Leo!!!
32
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,040
Leo...?
33
00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:01,970
Shit!
Live!! Live!! Live!! Live!!
34
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,690
I need the money! Leo!
35
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:08,160
Well, that didn't turn out so well, did it?
36
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:12,760
With the bounty dead,
I was basically dead.
37
00:03:56,900 --> 00:04:00,460
-What are you doing?
-Ingmar.. you smell strange,
38
00:04:00,620 --> 00:04:04,660
-I do? Yeah! The smell of Manhood
-No.
39
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:08,590
You smell like failure.
And desperation.
40
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:15,460
Speaking of ... Didn't you tell me that you
had a friend that was gonna sell a bodypart for cash?
41
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:20,340
Yeah, he make a lot of cash.
But then he died after operation.
42
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:25,070
Terrible, painfull death.
Money pay for funeral though.
43
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:27,960
-Why you ask? -No reason *inaudible*
44
00:04:29,010 --> 00:04:32,440
A client come for you, he in your office.
I let him in. - *inaudible*
45
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,670
I am so sorry that I kept you waiting.
46
00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:43,800
You're the dick?
-Yeah, I'm the dick.
47
00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:50,360
Well, I'm a dj, and my laptop, the one with all the music
on that I've been recording the last year, has been stolen.
48
00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,660
-Do You have any idea who might have ..?
-Axel.
49
00:04:55,110 --> 00:05:00,390
-Axel? - He's actually a Swede, like you.
-I'm not a Swede, I'm an ex-Swede.
50
00:05:00,530 --> 00:05:04,130
Whatever. But he's also a dj.
51
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:11,110
Used to be kinda a big deal
but then he couldn't handle the success.
52
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:15,760
He went crazy.
53
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:29,340
He wasn't able to make any good music since then, so he
stole my laptop to get some fresh material, fucking loser
54
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:34,260
But before I dive into your case, I need to make sure
that you can pay me for my services.
55
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,990
-How much?
-Uh.. uhm ...
56
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:42,770
- *muttering in Swedish* Well... ten grand??.
-Are you serious??
57
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:45,740
-Eih.. eight then?
-Deal.
58
00:05:45,830 --> 00:05:50,890
Alright. But you think you can get my computer back?
I'm sorry no I don't think so..
59
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,020
..I know so.
60
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:09,060
I hope you're all feeling the love..
I know I am!
61
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:15,420
Listen - I have an idea. Lets stop dreaming about the cars..
62
00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:18,500
-and start dreaming about the stars!
63
00:06:31,060 --> 00:06:35,600
Thanks to a lead from Theodore
Axel was easy to find.
64
00:06:36,490 --> 00:06:39,910
It was surprised that he was playing
at a car lot.
65
00:06:40,260 --> 00:06:45,230
But, who am I to talk.
Everybody has to do what they have to do to make a buck.
66
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:52,540
What the fuck do you think you're doing? -I'm just, opening people's hearts.
67
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:58,140
I don't want people opening their motherfucking hearts,
I want people opening their motherfucking checkbooks.
68
00:06:59,110 --> 00:07:02,880
Americans still actually write checks.
I find that so interesting.
69
00:07:02,980 --> 00:07:05,630
Shut the fuck up, and play some real music!
70
00:07:05,700 --> 00:07:09,780
No, no, no, keep it going. I'm lovin the music, man.
I really lovin it
71
00:07:09,830 --> 00:07:12,800
-No, I'm ready to buy some cars.
-Ah.. thanks!
72
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,700
I'm just an honest bastard, you know.
73
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:21,080
What?
You speak Swedish? I speak Swedish.
74
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:26,320
-Not now. Well, now I do.
-That I heard.
75
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,900
(Boss) - Hey! Come back here!
-Nice to meet someone from Sweden.
76
00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:33,500
Fuck you!
-Thank you.
77
00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:37,670
I walked around everywhere, like crazy.
Hotels, airports ...
78
00:07:37,810 --> 00:07:40,410
A girl: "Can we have sex? Yes, no, or?"
79
00:07:40,450 --> 00:07:44,570
I'm DJ, so it's crazy.
Can I give you a hug?
80
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,840
Lets get some drinks down us. It is midsummer.
81
00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,870
It is January..
-It feels like midsummer!
82
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,030
Ok.
83
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:10,310
Do you play all the instruments by yourself?
84
00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:13,830
Yeah. No, I do everything on the computer.
-Wow, impressive. -Uh-huh
85
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,880
You know, back in the good old days you had to play instruments.
86
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:22,240
It gotta be a pretty big computer.
-No, its just a laptop. -Yeah?
87
00:08:22,340 --> 00:08:25,330
-Where do you keep a computer like that?
-I keep it.. I keep it.. at my hotel.
88
00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:28,510
Listen, forget about me
I wanna hear about you.
89
00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,020
So, what, what.. do you live here?
-Yeah, yeah.
90
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:35,310
And, what do you do? Don't, wait, wait, let me guess.
91
00:08:35,990 --> 00:08:37,810
You are...
92
00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:40,270
... retired.
93
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,200
But before you retired, where.. what did you do?
94
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,470
Okay guys, one more aqua velvet for the boy ...
95
00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:49,760
... and another bourbon for the stuntman.
96
00:08:50,510 --> 00:08:54,240
-Stuntman? -Oh yeah kiddo, you're sitting with a true legend.
97
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:56,220
No way! Get outa here. So, you're a stuntman?
98
00:08:56,450 --> 00:09:03,700
You fight and you drive cars and jump off roofs..
like aah-hhee-haah? Arrrarrahaah?
99
00:09:04,930 --> 00:09:10,420
Oh my god, oh I wish I too could do something like
that, you know. Something physical.
100
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:14,160
That small Swedish guy reminded my last girlfriend.
101
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:17,906
She talked too much
and couldn't handle liquor.
102
00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:21,740
Its ok.. I feel disconnected from the real world.
103
00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:25,520
You know, like a ghost in a machine.
104
00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:33,040
Help! I'm a ghost in a machine!
105
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,280
Help!
106
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:53,480
Hey - do you know what I think? I think that
something has brought us together.
107
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,940
Like, I.. I think you're here to save me
from the digital world into your physical world.
108
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,920
-You're gonna make me stuntman.
-No! I'm not gonna make you stuntman.
109
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,600
Ah - c'mon, c'mon.. hit me.. hit me like a stuntman.
No, I'm not gonna hit you.
110
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,440
What? You, you think I can't handle pain?
Well I can, I can.
111
00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,460
Great ... get in.
112
00:10:18,060 --> 00:10:21,700
-Are you okay?
- Yeah, never felt better.
113
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,260
You know what?
This is so good for me.
114
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:29,390
Like, you are honest.. And you're..
you're straightforward.
115
00:10:29,770 --> 00:10:33,780
But you're tough, like a dad.
116
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,370
You see, I never knew my father.
117
00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:41,640
-Do, do you wanna be my dad?
-No I dont want to be your dad.
118
00:10:42,114 --> 00:10:44,057
Okay, music.
119
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:49,080
Soooo, what do you wanna hear?
-Uhm, you pick.. Know what..
120
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:52,970
hold this. I just need to...
121
00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:03,500
How's it going in there?
122
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,300
No!!
123
00:12:00,457 --> 00:12:04,742
Ah-haha! Can't believe you got it!
Thanks man. Hey -
124
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,750
-I owe you. -Yeah, like eight thousand dollars.
125
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:12,470
-Yeah, about that.. I'm a little short.
-Whoa-o, we had a deal.
126
00:12:12,740 --> 00:12:16,980
Oh, I can give you a thousand dollars.
-We said eight thousand dollars.
127
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:22,140
-Yeah well a thousand is better than nothing ha.
-Give me that!
128
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,030
-Okay
-You can have this back when you have the money.
129
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,790
"Swedish Dick."
130
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:40,400
-Give me money.
-Alright, okay, I'll give you the money, alright..
131
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:03,630
Hey! Come back here, you motherfucker!
132
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,960
Shit!
-Where's my computer ?!
133
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,560
Where's my computer
134
00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:12,533
Where...
135
00:13:12,586 --> 00:13:13,470
is...
136
00:13:13,848 --> 00:13:15,635
my computer?!
137
00:13:20,228 --> 00:13:22,342
All my music was on it!
138
00:13:25,628 --> 00:13:28,942
Ou.. wai..wai..wait a minute ... The computer.. is yours?
139
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,053
I want it back!
140
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:33,733
Easier said than done. Shit!
141
00:13:36,613 --> 00:13:41,480
What? -I don't have it.
-Oh you're lying!
142
00:13:41,502 --> 00:13:44,275
Its like when you said you were a stuntman.
You're a private detective.
143
00:13:44,302 --> 00:13:48,115
-How the hell did you find that out?
-Have you ever heard of GPS?
144
00:13:51,771 --> 00:13:54,085
-You got a tracking device on your computer? -Yes.
145
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:57,657
Help me up. Get up to my office so you can
get your computer back.
146
00:14:00,771 --> 00:14:03,200
-Did you do that on purpose? -Yes I did.
147
00:14:07,942 --> 00:14:12,828
Fuck! He must have turned off the GPS.
- It's clear he did it.
148
00:14:13,028 --> 00:14:16,257
-Who is he? -He calls himself Theodore.
149
00:14:16,742 --> 00:14:21,457
-What does he look like? -Like all snotty kids looks like.
150
00:14:21,733 --> 00:14:23,866
But wait... Sun!
151
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:27,200
Sun! Sun!
152
00:14:28,885 --> 00:14:32,000
Can you describe the guy that was here with me the other day?
153
00:14:34,171 --> 00:14:35,800
He white.
154
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,700
-Like you. Who you? - Who, me?
155
00:14:39,833 --> 00:14:43,133
-You make fun my English? - No, no, sorry.
156
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:52,600
-You speak Korean? -Well, just a little
bit. Picked it up when I was doing some DJing there.
157
00:14:52,666 --> 00:14:57,260
-In South or North? -Only South Korea. North
Korea kinda freaks me out.
158
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:01,157
I from North Korea.
159
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:05,342
Sun.. can you please describe the guy?
160
00:15:06,942 --> 00:15:12,714
I remember. He had a neck tattoo ... on neck.
161
00:15:13,257 --> 00:15:14,460
A neck tattoo?
162
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,714
-Is that him? -That's him.
163
00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:28,100
I know who he is.. I know where we can find him.
164
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:32,200
Shit! I'm so stupid! I was DJ at this club ...
165
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:38,830
Axel explained how he had been making some good money
DJing at a nightclub in The Valley.
166
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:44,033
And that's where he had met Theodore
who was the bartender at the club.
167
00:15:44,166 --> 00:15:52,700
So he said he loved my music and asked if I
had written something new.
168
00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:57,342
I was.. ah.. how can I be so stupid? I know.. it's my ego.
169
00:15:58,942 --> 00:16:01,314
Ingmar, look at me. Ingmar, look at me!
170
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,828
I'm a whore. I'm an emotional whore.
171
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,485
-Here it is. That's his car.
172
00:16:09,628 --> 00:16:10,800
-Oh, shit. -What?
173
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:15,971
I knw the guy who owns this place... you
don't wanna mess with him.
174
00:16:17,742 --> 00:16:21,150
Here it is... as promised... the DJ's laptop.
175
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:26,628
-He got songs in there.. songs that havent
been released? Yeah, some really good shit.
176
00:16:27,263 --> 00:16:29,263
I'll be the fucking judge of that.
177
00:16:36,114 --> 00:16:37,342
Here it is.
178
00:16:39,171 --> 00:16:41,857
You know the place? -Yes -Right
179
00:16:43,142 --> 00:16:46,400
-Is it real? -A Hairdryer. Want it?
-No
180
00:16:47,085 --> 00:16:48,714
Open it, then.
181
00:17:03,085 --> 00:17:06,942
-You stay here. -Shall I not come?
-Yip
182
00:17:09,170 --> 00:17:11,057
Great. You got the money?
183
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,171
-Oh.. is that ...? -Blood.
184
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:19,057
Yeah, don't worry about it. It's only human.
185
00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:22,685
Showtime!
186
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:28,428
Afternoon, ladies.
187
00:17:28,971 --> 00:17:32,428
No! Hold it! Drop the gun. Toss it on the ground.
188
00:17:33,890 --> 00:17:36,542
Who the fuck are you and what the hell you doing in my club?
189
00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:41,157
I am a private dick, and this punk hired
me to steal that computer.
190
00:17:41,473 --> 00:17:45,578
-I hired you to steal the computer and you
outsource it to another? -Yeah, I had shit to do.
191
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:50,028
Fucking millenials. -You know what,
I'm gonna take that computer.
192
00:17:50,666 --> 00:17:53,263
And I'll be on my way.
193
00:17:56,571 --> 00:17:58,310
I thought that we had an agreement.
194
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:06,000
Aright, this is gonna work out in one of two ways.
I'm either gonna have him shoot you and take the computer -
195
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:10,571
-or you gonna give me the computer, and then
I'm gonna have him shoot you. Huh. Your choice.
196
00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:12,971
Fuck you dick. Shoot the guy.
197
00:18:13,714 --> 00:18:16,457
One last request before you kill me?
198
00:18:17,542 --> 00:18:21,371
I would like you to send me off like an astronaut.
199
00:18:22,542 --> 00:18:25,885
What the fuck? -Ten!.. Nine! ...
200
00:18:27,228 --> 00:18:31,885
... Eight ... seven ... six ...
201
00:18:32,971 --> 00:18:37,714
... Five ... four ... three ...
202
00:18:38,628 --> 00:18:40,085
...two...
203
00:18:40,885 --> 00:18:42,257
...one...
204
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:44,657
...zero!
205
00:18:50,114 --> 00:18:54,514
Hey! If you shoot me, I'm gonna shoot your boss.
206
00:18:55,342 --> 00:18:57,885
What?
207
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:02,228
I say I'm gonna shoot you if you shoot me.
-I can't hear you man. What?
208
00:19:03,150 --> 00:19:08,971
Axel! Axel! He hears nothing! Turn down the music!
209
00:19:11,428 --> 00:19:15,171
Yeah. I'm gonna shoot you if he shoots me.
210
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,200
Yeah, I understand.
211
00:19:27,885 --> 00:19:32,457
You gonna gives us that computer, then and
we're gonna walk outa here. You understand?
212
00:19:37,714 --> 00:19:40,285
-That your music? -Yeah.
213
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,428
-Its good. -Oh! Thanks.
214
00:19:44,371 --> 00:19:47,150
-Always nice to meet a fan. I'm not your fucking fan.
215
00:19:47,714 --> 00:19:49,200
But my son is.
216
00:19:52,085 --> 00:19:55,028
He wants to be a disc jockey, but he's fucking talentless.
217
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:59,260
So I thought if I stoled your music and
release it under his name -
218
00:19:59,914 --> 00:20:02,210
-he might be a success in the music business.
219
00:20:02,714 --> 00:20:05,828
Otherwise, he's gonna go into the drug business like me ...
220
00:20:07,485 --> 00:20:09,360
... and I don't want that life for him.
221
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:19,257
That's just the nicest, strangest, nicest,
weirdest thing I've ever heard.
222
00:20:28,085 --> 00:20:29,171
Give this to your son.
223
00:20:32,714 --> 00:20:37,150
-Thank you. - What the hell are you doing?
Have you gone crazy?
224
00:20:37,314 --> 00:20:41,260
I do not know. Maybe. But I think it's a good crazy.
225
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,971
Something powerful tells me that its time for change.
226
00:20:47,285 --> 00:20:50,857
It's time for change. Give him the money.
227
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,171
No way! This is my money.
228
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,257
Fucking millenial.
229
00:21:02,742 --> 00:21:05,542
Well, welcome to Los Angeles, boy.
230
00:21:20,885 --> 00:21:24,000
What are you gonna do now that you sold all your music?
231
00:21:24,885 --> 00:21:28,657
-Well, I was thinking I'd come and work for you.
-Excuse me?
232
00:21:28,833 --> 00:21:32,842
Well, you have to admit: we're a good team.
-You're extremely annoying.
233
00:21:32,930 --> 00:21:36,314
Well, so are you. I still wanna work with you.
234
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,085
I can't even afford to pay myself.
235
00:21:41,171 --> 00:21:45,030
So how can I hire you? -No! You're not gonna
hire me. I'm gonna hire you.
236
00:21:47,428 --> 00:21:49,360
Yeah, alright.. Partners.
237
00:21:50,457 --> 00:21:53,428
Never. I always work alone. That's
a principle of mine.
238
00:22:03,657 --> 00:22:04,771
I'll give you half.
239
00:22:05,710 --> 00:22:08,600
I work alone,
it is a matter of principle.
240
00:22:09,885 --> 00:22:13,170
You get half. See you Monday.
241
00:22:20,314 --> 00:22:26,630
Well folks, that's the story of how
I managed to pay off my debt-
242
00:22:27,057 --> 00:22:30,628
-and how the Swedish Dick
became the Swedish Dicks.
243
00:22:36,914 --> 00:22:38,114
I feel dick.
244
00:22:40,057 --> 00:22:44,210
If you're still wondering how I
went from being an award-winning stuntman-
245
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:49,028
-to a small-time private investigator
who drinks beer in the cemetery ...
246
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:56,100
... and who will eventually find
himself tied up in a chair-
247
00:22:56,421 --> 00:23:01,157
-in an abandoned building with
an assassin ready to kill me -
248
00:23:01,473 --> 00:23:05,263
-well, that's a story for another day.
249
00:23:05,313 --> 00:23:09,863
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