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1
00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:03,980
?
2
00:00:05,125 --> 00:00:06,225
[bell dings]
3
00:00:06,445 --> 00:00:07,546
Morning.
4
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,414
Morning, girls. Have a seat.
5
00:00:09,515 --> 00:00:10,917
Hope you and my baby are ready
6
00:00:11,017 --> 00:00:13,386
for some world-famous
Vernon Brown flapjacks.
7
00:00:13,485 --> 00:00:16,088
Oh, you really, really shouldn't have.
8
00:00:16,189 --> 00:00:17,923
Oh no, it was my pleasure.
9
00:00:18,022 --> 00:00:20,091
Key to good flapjacks: a pinch of love
10
00:00:20,192 --> 00:00:22,427
and excessive butter. [laughs]
11
00:00:22,527 --> 00:00:25,030
Wow, you've exceeded my low expectations.
12
00:00:25,131 --> 00:00:27,600
Oh, you're not the first
person to say that to me.
13
00:00:27,700 --> 00:00:30,236
Oh, no, no, don't you even
think about it. I got it.
14
00:00:30,335 --> 00:00:33,306
I can pour orange juice.
I'm pregnant, not crippled.
15
00:00:33,405 --> 00:00:36,508
I'm man of the house now, and
that comes with certain duties.
16
00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:38,943
You just set back and relax.
17
00:00:39,044 --> 00:00:41,481
Charlotte, by the way, it's trash day.
18
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:43,615
And it looks like the
yard could use a mow.
19
00:00:43,716 --> 00:00:45,118
Right. Yeah, I'll get right on that
20
00:00:45,217 --> 00:00:47,386
right after I finish polishing
your Father of the Year trophy.
21
00:00:47,691 --> 00:00:48,820
You do that.
22
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:51,190
Vernon, I'm happy that
you're excited that this baby
23
00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:53,040
is potentially yours.
24
00:00:53,326 --> 00:00:55,084
But remember, the jury's still out.
25
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:57,229
Well, I don't see any
other potential daddies
26
00:00:57,254 --> 00:00:58,710
walking through the walk.
27
00:00:58,735 --> 00:01:00,100
[door opens]
28
00:01:00,199 --> 00:01:01,524
[dog barking]
29
00:01:01,537 --> 00:01:05,269
?
30
00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:26,821
Uh!
31
00:01:27,852 --> 00:01:30,655
You would not believe the
couple months I've had.
32
00:01:30,754 --> 00:01:32,991
?
33
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:35,192
? Still the King ?
34
00:01:35,216 --> 00:01:37,620
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:39,797 --> 00:01:40,707
[sighs]
36
00:01:40,732 --> 00:01:43,636
So there I was lost, stranded.
37
00:01:45,099 --> 00:01:46,211
Hello?
38
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:47,619
Suffering from amnesia.
39
00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:49,940
Who am I?
40
00:01:50,041 --> 00:01:53,377
But luckily my superior survival
instincts kicked in immediately.
41
00:01:53,478 --> 00:01:55,947
Help! Help!
42
00:01:56,163 --> 00:01:57,781
Help!
43
00:01:57,882 --> 00:01:59,551
So I set out to build shelter.
44
00:01:59,651 --> 00:02:02,308
Build something to rest my weary bones.
45
00:02:04,195 --> 00:02:06,941
I was starving, desperate for food.
46
00:02:07,391 --> 00:02:08,437
Really?
47
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,754
To be honest, it looks like
you gained a few pounds.
48
00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,431
Well, little known fact about Ronnie,
49
00:02:13,531 --> 00:02:14,998
he's a master huntsmen.
50
00:02:15,098 --> 00:02:17,014
[crash]
51
00:02:18,569 --> 00:02:20,837
RONNIE: I waste nothing of my prey.
52
00:02:21,739 --> 00:02:23,608
The breast of a blue
jay behind the sternum,
53
00:02:23,708 --> 00:02:26,377
you can just scoop out... eat.
54
00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:28,179
Why didn't you just swim to shore?
55
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:29,756
I mean, the lake isn't that big.
56
00:02:29,897 --> 00:02:30,831
Amnesia, babe.
57
00:02:30,931 --> 00:02:32,067
Forgot I could swim.
58
00:02:32,113 --> 00:02:35,462
Anyway, seconds turn into minutes.
59
00:02:35,903 --> 00:02:37,928
Minutes into hours.
60
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:40,338
Hours into weeks.
61
00:02:40,709 --> 00:02:42,756
Weeks into months.
62
00:02:43,177 --> 00:02:44,779
- Months...
- For God's sake, Ronnie,
63
00:02:44,879 --> 00:02:46,984
just get to the part where
you got off the island.
64
00:02:47,383 --> 00:02:48,484
RONNIE: Fine.
65
00:02:48,509 --> 00:02:50,062
Old Ronnie didn't think
he was gonna make it.
66
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:51,320
He was down and out.
67
00:02:51,886 --> 00:02:53,744
Having nothing to hold onto.
68
00:02:54,340 --> 00:02:55,608
And that's when it happened.
69
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,946
Bright light shooting through the sky.
70
00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:02,009
A flaming beacon came soaring
above like a phoenix guiding me.
71
00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:04,832
It led me to the edge of the island.
72
00:03:05,783 --> 00:03:08,796
To the edge of my sanity.
73
00:03:11,119 --> 00:03:12,387
Anyway, when I got there,
74
00:03:12,487 --> 00:03:14,266
everything just kinda came rushing back.
75
00:03:15,994 --> 00:03:19,496
?
76
00:03:25,156 --> 00:03:26,186
[bell rings]
77
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,496
Ronnie's back!
78
00:03:28,938 --> 00:03:31,773
I'm back, baby!
79
00:03:31,873 --> 00:03:33,642
?
80
00:03:34,785 --> 00:03:35,885
I can't believe it.
81
00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:38,382
In a way, you fulfilled my dying wishes.
82
00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:39,710
It brought me back to life.
83
00:03:40,059 --> 00:03:41,193
Not to nitpick or anything,
84
00:03:41,218 --> 00:03:43,221
but you're supposed to
set that stuff on fire.
85
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,588
Too bad I missed.
86
00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:47,035
So... what's new with you, babe?
87
00:03:47,491 --> 00:03:48,942
[dogs barking]
88
00:03:50,462 --> 00:03:52,597
So, you guys have a lot to catch up on.
89
00:03:52,622 --> 00:03:54,131
I'd love to stay, but
I'm late for school.
90
00:03:54,232 --> 00:03:55,799
Really glad you're okay, Ronnie.
91
00:03:55,824 --> 00:03:58,694
Uh, I'm gonna go in the
kitchen and make some coffee
92
00:03:58,719 --> 00:04:01,205
and maybe a coffeecake to go with it.
93
00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:06,920
What was all that about?
94
00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:08,191
I have no idea.
95
00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:09,898
Let me go check on her.
96
00:04:09,923 --> 00:04:12,760
?
97
00:04:20,767 --> 00:04:21,835
Walt...
98
00:04:21,937 --> 00:04:23,738
anyone playing in here
is going to be too drunk
99
00:04:23,837 --> 00:04:26,739
to notice if it's off
by a millimeter or two.
100
00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:29,124
Respectfully, I would notice.
101
00:04:29,823 --> 00:04:31,711
You might as well not
even have a pool table.
102
00:04:32,132 --> 00:04:33,448
Suit yourself.
103
00:04:33,876 --> 00:04:35,911
I'll buy you a beer when you're done.
104
00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:36,972
Sweet.
105
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,650
[laughs] Science class is over.
106
00:04:47,728 --> 00:04:49,397
Somebody get rid of all these toys.
107
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,225
Where's Kenny? Kenny, what are you doing?
108
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,226
I thought you were holding
this pool table for us.
109
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,284
No, I was.
110
00:04:54,284 --> 00:04:57,054
He must have come in when
I went out for lattes.
111
00:04:57,129 --> 00:04:58,239
Damn it, Kenny.
112
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,252
Secure the pool table
means secure the pool table.
113
00:05:00,298 --> 00:05:01,885
It doesn't mean getting lattes.
114
00:05:01,910 --> 00:05:03,443
But you're the one who told me...
115
00:05:03,468 --> 00:05:05,538
Kenny, no... I hate
you so much right now.
116
00:05:05,637 --> 00:05:08,258
Guys, please, like five
more minutes, I'll be done.
117
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:10,276
- Five more minutes.
- Kenny, sugar packet.
118
00:05:12,238 --> 00:05:13,265
Lift it.
119
00:05:15,336 --> 00:05:16,514
Lower it.
120
00:05:17,291 --> 00:05:18,359
[machine beeps]
121
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,595
Well I'll be damned.
122
00:05:19,681 --> 00:05:20,752
That's right.
123
00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:23,212
I don't need fancy
mirrors and lasers, Walt.
124
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,638
I got the eyes of a golden eagle.
125
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:30,320
[high-pitched squealing]
126
00:05:33,503 --> 00:05:34,598
Now beat it.
127
00:05:34,699 --> 00:05:36,847
It's a free country... allegedly.
128
00:05:37,101 --> 00:05:38,420
I can do what I want.
129
00:05:38,870 --> 00:05:40,338
I happen to have an
appointment right now,
130
00:05:40,363 --> 00:05:41,547
which is just purely coincidence.
131
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:42,973
Mm-hmm. Yeah, we got it.
132
00:05:43,074 --> 00:05:44,042
Kenny, rack 'em.
133
00:05:44,141 --> 00:05:46,177
- What about my equipment?
- No worry,
134
00:05:46,278 --> 00:05:47,839
we'll make sure Kaitlynn
gets it behind the bar.
135
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,609
To be clear, I'm leaving
of my own volition.
136
00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:51,411
Uh-huh, get to your fake
appointment. We know.
137
00:05:51,510 --> 00:05:53,613
- It's not a fake appointment.
- Oh yeah? Who's it with?
138
00:05:53,714 --> 00:05:55,348
- Some doctors.
- Doctors? A bunch of doctors?
139
00:05:55,448 --> 00:05:57,144
- Yeah, my tooth hurts.
- Uh-huh.
140
00:05:57,195 --> 00:05:58,930
You probably need a
dentist, you "maroon."
141
00:05:59,178 --> 00:06:00,248
[bell dings]
142
00:06:00,273 --> 00:06:02,508
I can't believe we
actually skipped school.
143
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,902
I feel so free and dangerous.
144
00:06:06,326 --> 00:06:07,719
Like "Orange is the New Black."
145
00:06:07,819 --> 00:06:09,555
Okay, okay, okay, but I
can't skip fifth anymore.
146
00:06:09,592 --> 00:06:10,864
Mr. Wallace is getting suspicious.
147
00:06:10,889 --> 00:06:12,291
We'll have to be back for math.
148
00:06:12,391 --> 00:06:14,427
I mean, if I skip anymore, I'm
literally gonna get suspended.
149
00:06:14,526 --> 00:06:15,493
And my mom's gonna kill me.
150
00:06:15,593 --> 00:06:17,425
- Okay.
- [crash]
151
00:06:18,598 --> 00:06:19,892
Oh, so sorry. I'll... I'll...
152
00:06:23,435 --> 00:06:24,764
Oh my God.
153
00:06:25,237 --> 00:06:28,240
?
154
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:29,707
Ooh, T.Rex.
155
00:06:30,069 --> 00:06:31,177
A Glam Rock fan?
156
00:06:31,276 --> 00:06:33,592
I mean, how can you say no to a man
157
00:06:33,592 --> 00:06:35,027
in thigh highs and face paint?
158
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:38,132
Hey, did you know the actual
T.Rex couldn't play the guitar?
159
00:06:38,968 --> 00:06:40,006
Tiny arms.
160
00:06:40,031 --> 00:06:41,366
[laughs]
161
00:06:41,466 --> 00:06:43,569
You know, I bet they were pretty
killer at the ukulele though.
162
00:06:43,918 --> 00:06:44,952
Good one.
163
00:06:45,140 --> 00:06:47,039
Oh, hello, Yoko.
164
00:06:47,891 --> 00:06:49,642
Wow, how've you been?
165
00:06:49,997 --> 00:06:51,565
If you're asking if I've recovered
166
00:06:51,665 --> 00:06:53,667
from you breaking up my
band by dumping our drummer,
167
00:06:53,768 --> 00:06:54,994
the answer is no.
168
00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:56,504
You know they didn't break up?
169
00:06:56,605 --> 00:06:58,473
I'm pretty sure they're touring
the West Coast right now.
170
00:06:58,573 --> 00:06:59,674
What?
171
00:06:59,773 --> 00:07:00,774
No, they're not.
172
00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:02,275
Asher said we broke up.
173
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:04,510
I don't mean he lied me.
And why would he lie...
174
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,500
Oh God.
175
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:10,451
Oh Christ.
176
00:07:10,550 --> 00:07:11,611
I'm out of the band.
177
00:07:12,020 --> 00:07:13,448
I'm sorry, I thought they told you.
178
00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:15,628
I have to make a phone call.
179
00:07:17,191 --> 00:07:18,191
Yoko.
180
00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:21,029
Mm, must have been a rough breakup.
181
00:07:21,129 --> 00:07:22,438
I can be Yoko, too.
182
00:07:22,997 --> 00:07:24,744
I was dating the lead singer.
183
00:07:25,999 --> 00:07:27,520
Charlotte, who's our friend?
184
00:07:28,602 --> 00:07:32,105
Oh, um... you know, that's
actually a good question.
185
00:07:32,206 --> 00:07:33,575
I don't think I got your name.
186
00:07:33,674 --> 00:07:34,775
Lloy Danderson.
187
00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:36,010
Hi, Lloyd.
188
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:39,013
Uh no, It's actually Lloy Danderson.
189
00:07:39,114 --> 00:07:40,381
Lloyd Anderson.
190
00:07:40,482 --> 00:07:41,715
- Lloy...
- Danderson.
191
00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:42,830
Exactly.
192
00:07:42,909 --> 00:07:44,554
I feel like we're saying the same thing.
193
00:07:45,285 --> 00:07:46,186
We're not.
194
00:07:46,287 --> 00:07:47,197
Wow.
195
00:07:47,588 --> 00:07:49,804
You think that's confusing,
my sister's name is Ann.
196
00:07:50,624 --> 00:07:51,687
[laughs]
197
00:07:52,292 --> 00:07:54,828
Hey, if you would like to
continue this conversation
198
00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:58,198
of music and dinosaurs,
um, what do you say
199
00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:00,724
we hit the bar down the
street and get a couple drinks?
200
00:08:01,234 --> 00:08:03,003
- Yeah.
- Oh, we're actually 16...
201
00:08:03,028 --> 00:08:05,513
Sixteen minutes late to, uh,
202
00:08:05,538 --> 00:08:07,691
college stuff and class.
203
00:08:07,842 --> 00:08:11,444
And, um, you know, another time maybe?
204
00:08:11,545 --> 00:08:12,545
Definitely, yeah.
205
00:08:12,646 --> 00:08:14,448
Um, hey, can I get your number?
206
00:08:14,549 --> 00:08:15,627
Excuse me, Charlotte.
207
00:08:16,351 --> 00:08:18,774
Do you know how long they're out on tour?
208
00:08:19,086 --> 00:08:21,396
I loaned them my van, so...
209
00:08:22,554 --> 00:08:23,637
okay.
210
00:08:23,662 --> 00:08:25,126
Just one more thing.
211
00:08:25,226 --> 00:08:26,695
?
212
00:08:26,795 --> 00:08:30,431
[razor buzzing]
213
00:08:35,203 --> 00:08:37,372
Come on, babe, hell's
bells, you gotta tell him.
214
00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:38,904
I know, I know.
215
00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:40,936
I'm just not sure how to do it.
216
00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:43,445
It's like ripping on a Band-Aid
217
00:08:43,545 --> 00:08:44,746
or pissing in public.
218
00:08:44,846 --> 00:08:47,482
The faster you do it, the
better it goes every time.
219
00:08:47,582 --> 00:08:48,750
Yeah, you're right.
220
00:08:48,849 --> 00:08:49,835
Okay.
221
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:52,781
Just remember, I'm right behind you.
222
00:08:52,953 --> 00:08:54,046
Thank you, Vernon.
223
00:08:56,591 --> 00:08:58,059
That's a lot of hair.
224
00:08:58,159 --> 00:08:59,761
What's left looks nice though.
225
00:08:59,861 --> 00:09:01,563
I've been dreaming about two things.
226
00:09:01,663 --> 00:09:03,098
Getting a greasy hamburger,
227
00:09:03,198 --> 00:09:04,999
getting my kickass pompadour back.
228
00:09:05,098 --> 00:09:06,232
I can make you a hamburger.
229
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:07,602
That's a really good idea.
230
00:09:07,702 --> 00:09:09,035
No, hold on.
231
00:09:09,136 --> 00:09:11,505
We all just ate an entire coffeecake.
232
00:09:11,606 --> 00:09:14,409
There's no way anybody
could still be hungry.
233
00:09:14,508 --> 00:09:16,509
Besides, I think there's
something you should
234
00:09:16,609 --> 00:09:18,359
get off your chest.
235
00:09:18,779 --> 00:09:20,047
Something you wanna tell me?
236
00:09:20,481 --> 00:09:22,350
?
237
00:09:22,449 --> 00:09:24,385
I can't think of anything offhand.
238
00:09:24,751 --> 00:09:28,147
Um... maybe something that concerns
239
00:09:28,172 --> 00:09:30,015
a certain someone
240
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:32,557
who will go unnamed until
241
00:09:32,784 --> 00:09:34,623
we think of a name for it.
242
00:09:34,996 --> 00:09:36,765
It's not an it, it's a baby.
243
00:09:36,865 --> 00:09:38,347
Who's having a baby?
244
00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:40,868
I am, Ronnie.
245
00:09:40,968 --> 00:09:42,796
- I'm pregnant.
- [razor shuts off]
246
00:09:43,872 --> 00:09:45,307
I'm gonna be a dad?
247
00:09:45,774 --> 00:09:47,508
I'm gonna be the best dad ever.
248
00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:49,405
Or maybe stepdad.
249
00:09:49,430 --> 00:09:50,977
Yeah, it's pretty crazy, huh?
250
00:09:51,078 --> 00:09:52,512
You must have been so scared
251
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,461
when I was out there in the wilderness.
252
00:09:54,470 --> 00:09:56,724
You'd have to raise the baby alone.
253
00:09:56,749 --> 00:09:58,150
Well, maybe not alone.
254
00:09:58,250 --> 00:09:59,752
- Vernon?
- What?
255
00:09:59,777 --> 00:10:01,160
Is something wrong with my baby?
256
00:10:04,023 --> 00:10:05,272
The baby might be Vernon's.
257
00:10:05,308 --> 00:10:07,464
?
258
00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:10,948
DEBBIE: Ronnie, come on.
259
00:10:11,014 --> 00:10:12,316
VERNON: How long is this gonna last?
260
00:10:12,341 --> 00:10:13,800
DEBBIE: You're certainly not helping.
261
00:10:14,006 --> 00:10:15,674
He's laying on the damn remote.
262
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,075
Ronnie, come on, alright.
263
00:10:17,175 --> 00:10:18,175
Just say something.
264
00:10:18,203 --> 00:10:19,676
I know this is hard, just...
265
00:10:19,701 --> 00:10:20,891
Okay.
266
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,013
I've had the entire commercial break
267
00:10:23,113 --> 00:10:24,282
to think about it.
268
00:10:24,382 --> 00:10:26,172
[dog barking]
269
00:10:26,570 --> 00:10:28,128
And I'm cool with what happened.
270
00:10:28,519 --> 00:10:30,688
I know you thought I was dead,
271
00:10:30,787 --> 00:10:33,116
and he preyed on your vulnerable state.
272
00:10:34,472 --> 00:10:37,875
Um... actually, it happened
before you went missing.
273
00:10:37,974 --> 00:10:39,351
What? Don't tell me
274
00:10:39,376 --> 00:10:42,111
you defiled our common
law bed with this seductor.
275
00:10:42,158 --> 00:10:45,267
I would never defile your common law bed.
276
00:10:45,763 --> 00:10:47,885
It all happened on a really cool boat.
277
00:10:47,985 --> 00:10:49,619
Oh my God!
278
00:10:49,718 --> 00:10:50,787
Why?
279
00:10:50,887 --> 00:10:51,821
A really cool boat.
280
00:10:51,921 --> 00:10:53,823
- DEBBIE: Vernon.
- A fast, cool boat.
281
00:10:53,924 --> 00:10:56,608
I gotta know the details.
Tell me everything.
282
00:10:57,227 --> 00:11:00,096
Well, just think "Debbie Does Dallas"
283
00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:01,597
meets "Jaws" meets...
284
00:11:01,698 --> 00:11:03,766
Ronnie, listen, alright,
we were just... we were
285
00:11:03,866 --> 00:11:06,203
- really really drunk, okay...
- No! No!
286
00:11:06,303 --> 00:11:08,168
The details about the boat!
287
00:11:08,371 --> 00:11:10,048
Was it inboard motor, outboard motor?
288
00:11:10,073 --> 00:11:12,999
- Twenty footer, twenty-four...
- What does it even matter?
289
00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,559
'Cause you're a bad girlfriend.
290
00:11:14,659 --> 00:11:16,006
Well, you're a butthole.
291
00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:19,531
You see, you care more
about your boats and karates
292
00:11:19,556 --> 00:11:21,847
than you do about being there for me.
293
00:11:22,869 --> 00:11:24,570
Well, I'm here now for the baby!
294
00:11:24,669 --> 00:11:25,703
Oh great.
295
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,930
But I'm moving... into the basement.
296
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:28,890
Perfect.
297
00:11:28,961 --> 00:11:30,795
Uh-oh, problem.
298
00:11:31,013 --> 00:11:33,149
Technically, you said I
could live in the basement.
299
00:11:33,210 --> 00:11:34,244
What?
300
00:11:34,269 --> 00:11:35,556
You two are so disgusting,
301
00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:37,448
I can't even look at you right now.
302
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:39,009
Alright, you know what?
I'm calling my doctor
303
00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:40,778
and seeing if she can get me into today
304
00:11:40,803 --> 00:11:42,372
and do a paternity test or something.
305
00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,240
Listen up, muchacho.
306
00:11:44,341 --> 00:11:47,177
Time for you to make like
one of my shirts and takeoff.
307
00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:49,980
As long as I may be the
potential father of this child,
308
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:53,720
I'm sticking around like brown on rice.
309
00:11:54,016 --> 00:11:56,385
I guess we're just gonna
have to agree to disagree.
310
00:11:56,787 --> 00:12:00,749
'Cause I want you to
know that I agree with me.
311
00:12:01,191 --> 00:12:02,760
And I'm staying in the basement.
312
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:05,962
I say whoever the doctor
says the real father is
313
00:12:06,062 --> 00:12:07,364
gets to stay.
314
00:12:07,392 --> 00:12:10,323
And whoever the fake
father is... aka you...
315
00:12:10,348 --> 00:12:11,576
has to move out.
316
00:12:11,601 --> 00:12:14,670
In the meantime, I'm
gonna be in my basement.
317
00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:17,473
?
318
00:12:17,573 --> 00:12:18,804
Am I going the right way?
319
00:12:19,176 --> 00:12:20,678
Keep going. It's far.
320
00:12:21,211 --> 00:12:22,512
[loud crash]
321
00:12:22,537 --> 00:12:24,320
That dumb son of a bitch.
322
00:12:25,314 --> 00:12:26,315
WALT: Hey, Dale.
323
00:12:26,415 --> 00:12:27,616
This looks good.
324
00:12:27,716 --> 00:12:29,119
Place looks great, man.
325
00:12:29,218 --> 00:12:30,853
Thank you, thank you.
326
00:12:30,878 --> 00:12:32,973
WALT: Had another run-n
with Reggie and them today.
327
00:12:33,356 --> 00:12:34,415
Bunch of bull...
328
00:12:34,890 --> 00:12:36,793
I don't know what to do.
They keep harassing me.
329
00:12:36,893 --> 00:12:39,599
It's like I can't go
anywhere, and they show up.
330
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:42,693
When confronted by an opponent,
331
00:12:43,365 --> 00:12:45,067
one must conquer them with love.
332
00:12:45,567 --> 00:12:47,402
Yeah, it sounds great but
does it actually work though?
333
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,168
Are you calling Gandhi a liar?
334
00:12:49,233 --> 00:12:51,273
No, I'm just saying
like I'm not sure that
335
00:12:51,372 --> 00:12:53,240
Reggie and them are
gonna respond to love.
336
00:12:53,341 --> 00:12:54,909
And I'm not sure I wanna
activate that emotion
337
00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:56,510
when I'm around them in the first place.
338
00:12:56,611 --> 00:12:58,552
Well, I'm sure you'll
figure something out.
339
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,248
Ooh. Are those dumplings?
340
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:02,814
Yeah.
341
00:13:03,220 --> 00:13:05,420
- Come on, hit me, come on.
- Dale.
342
00:13:05,814 --> 00:13:07,117
DALE: Come on, right here, right here.
343
00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:08,485
You know this makes me uncomfortable.
344
00:13:08,584 --> 00:13:09,615
Just one.
345
00:13:10,386 --> 00:13:11,549
[sighs]
346
00:13:12,888 --> 00:13:14,923
That's what I'm talking
about. Here. Right here.
347
00:13:15,024 --> 00:13:18,361
?
348
00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:19,561
- NURSE: Hi there.
- Hi.
349
00:13:19,661 --> 00:13:20,762
What's the reason for today's visit?
350
00:13:20,862 --> 00:13:22,397
- Um, I...
- Yes, Ma'am,
351
00:13:22,497 --> 00:13:23,799
I have this massive pain in my ass,
352
00:13:23,900 --> 00:13:25,468
and I'd love to have him removed.
353
00:13:25,569 --> 00:13:27,404
[laughs] I'm staying in that ass.
354
00:13:27,503 --> 00:13:28,576
Eew.
355
00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:32,408
[whispers] Actually, I'm
here about a paternity test.
356
00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:33,816
Sorry, what was that?
357
00:13:34,812 --> 00:13:36,580
[whispers] I'm here to
take a paternity test.
358
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,182
I'm sorry, miss, I still can't hear you.
359
00:13:38,207 --> 00:13:40,852
She wants to know which
one of us knocked her up.
360
00:13:42,418 --> 00:13:43,653
Lucky you.
361
00:13:43,754 --> 00:13:45,056
Take a seat and fill this out.
362
00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:50,107
Wow, that's definitely my boy.
363
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,744
That's a leg, Mr. Brown.
364
00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:55,411
Based on the measurements
of the ultrasound,
365
00:13:55,436 --> 00:13:58,177
the child is between 14 and 16 weeks.
366
00:13:58,206 --> 00:14:00,208
The genitals are not fully formed yet.
367
00:14:00,309 --> 00:14:01,877
Maybe it's yours after all.
368
00:14:01,976 --> 00:14:05,146
Is there no way we can
just narrow that window down
369
00:14:05,171 --> 00:14:06,405
a little bit?
370
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:08,683
Geriatric pregnancy is too
risky for a paternity test.
371
00:14:08,783 --> 00:14:10,852
Can you use a nicer term?
372
00:14:10,952 --> 00:14:14,222
You're far more likely to
have a low-weight birth,
373
00:14:14,322 --> 00:14:15,823
even chromosome abnormalities.
374
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:18,359
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you
mean like superpowers?
375
00:14:18,735 --> 00:14:20,036
Like my kid's gonna be a mutant?
376
00:14:20,135 --> 00:14:21,504
Like the cool comic book kind?
377
00:14:21,605 --> 00:14:24,007
You'd be amazed at how
often I get that question.
378
00:14:24,106 --> 00:14:25,808
If this baby has chromosome problems,
379
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,177
it's definitely yours.
380
00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:28,945
Perhaps you two could
take a fertility test.
381
00:14:29,046 --> 00:14:30,815
- I like that.
- It only takes a few minutes.
382
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,981
There's no way anybody's taking my blood.
383
00:14:33,041 --> 00:14:35,266
It's not a blood test, sir.
384
00:14:36,148 --> 00:14:37,690
[indistinct whispering]
385
00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:41,226
Wait, but how do they collect the...
386
00:14:41,326 --> 00:14:43,498
[indistinct whispering]
387
00:14:44,129 --> 00:14:46,164
Aaah.
388
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,741
Alright, I can get into that.
389
00:14:51,570 --> 00:14:53,405
If you two will follow me, please.
390
00:14:53,504 --> 00:14:55,807
?
391
00:14:55,908 --> 00:14:57,877
No cheating, Haus. I'm watching you.
392
00:14:57,976 --> 00:15:00,011
That's a really weird
thing to say to somebody
393
00:15:00,111 --> 00:15:02,213
under these circumstances.
You know that, right?
394
00:15:02,313 --> 00:15:05,149
?
395
00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:08,386
Uh, nurse, have you got any visual aids,
396
00:15:08,486 --> 00:15:09,911
if you know what I mean?
397
00:15:10,389 --> 00:15:12,486
We have adult magazines, yes.
398
00:15:12,857 --> 00:15:14,292
You mean like "The New Yorker"?
399
00:15:14,393 --> 00:15:15,894
Uh, excuse me, nurse,
400
00:15:15,995 --> 00:15:19,697
but my "carpet" tunnel
syndrome has flared up.
401
00:15:19,797 --> 00:15:21,767
I was kinda wondering
if you might give me
402
00:15:21,866 --> 00:15:22,833
a little hand in there?
403
00:15:22,935 --> 00:15:25,641
- Sure.
- Hey, Nurse Beasley!
404
00:15:26,004 --> 00:15:28,344
Mr. Brown could use a hand in room four.
405
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:29,974
[glove snaps]
406
00:15:30,076 --> 00:15:32,444
Actually, I just
remembered, I got two hands.
407
00:15:32,543 --> 00:15:34,547
So, um, I'm ambidextrous.
408
00:15:34,647 --> 00:15:35,881
I should be fine.
409
00:15:35,980 --> 00:15:38,016
Uh, I appreciate it though, thank you.
410
00:15:38,116 --> 00:15:39,333
These guys.
411
00:15:40,332 --> 00:15:42,001
[knocking at door] Coming in.
412
00:15:43,522 --> 00:15:44,790
Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
413
00:15:44,889 --> 00:15:46,720
I'm sorry, I didn't know you started.
414
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,742
All done.
415
00:15:53,164 --> 00:15:55,061
I'll be taking that still though.
416
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,740
Mm.
417
00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:02,173
I didn't think that was
gonna go in, but then it did.
418
00:16:02,273 --> 00:16:04,764
How can somebody so
dumb be so good at pool?
419
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:05,981
I don't know.
420
00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:08,533
Maybe I'm one of them idiot geniuses.
421
00:16:09,115 --> 00:16:10,581
You're so stupid you don't even realize
422
00:16:10,682 --> 00:16:11,884
you're making fun of yourself.
423
00:16:11,984 --> 00:16:13,941
Oh, maybe that's the genius part.
424
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,621
Boys.
425
00:16:16,837 --> 00:16:18,841
Little peace offering.
426
00:16:24,028 --> 00:16:25,697
Thought I told you to get lost.
427
00:16:25,797 --> 00:16:27,899
Looks like you know
exactly where you are.
428
00:16:30,036 --> 00:16:32,372
Look, I know we've had our
differences in the past,
429
00:16:32,471 --> 00:16:35,374
but I thought maybe we could
all try to live together
430
00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:37,109
cohesively like tribal people.
431
00:16:37,210 --> 00:16:38,443
Hey, Kenny, check the log book.
432
00:16:38,544 --> 00:16:40,980
When's the last time we
lived cohesively with someone?
433
00:16:41,079 --> 00:16:43,115
Well, I don't think that's
the kind of stats that we...
434
00:16:43,214 --> 00:16:45,267
Damn it, Kenny, I was
being rhetorical. Dang!
435
00:16:45,718 --> 00:16:47,152
Let's take this outside!
436
00:16:47,251 --> 00:16:48,412
Let's go!
437
00:16:49,153 --> 00:16:50,485
Hey, yo, guys!
438
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:53,593
You can't take alcohol
outside the premises.
439
00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:55,185
Come on.
440
00:16:56,961 --> 00:16:58,663
Come on, chuggy chuggy.
441
00:16:58,763 --> 00:17:02,834
BOTH: [gulping]
442
00:17:06,311 --> 00:17:08,375
[burps] Sorry.
443
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,624
Okay. Okay.
444
00:17:12,044 --> 00:17:13,989
Good luck with your society.
445
00:17:14,712 --> 00:17:16,115
Find a woman.
446
00:17:18,035 --> 00:17:19,903
?
447
00:17:19,949 --> 00:17:22,818
Look, guys, I don't
wanna resort to violence.
448
00:17:22,843 --> 00:17:25,412
Oh, look out, boys, he's
gonna resort to violence.
449
00:17:25,954 --> 00:17:28,691
Kenny, just leave the
mockery to me, okay?
450
00:17:28,790 --> 00:17:30,992
Besides, your comebacks are childish.
451
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,262
It lacks subtlety.
452
00:17:32,362 --> 00:17:33,546
[clears throat]
453
00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:36,974
Alright, butt face, time
to teach you a lesson.
454
00:17:39,435 --> 00:17:40,770
[growls]
455
00:17:45,074 --> 00:17:46,155
Hey, guys...
456
00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:47,797
mine leaving my buddy alone?
457
00:17:47,924 --> 00:17:49,106
What's this, Walt?
458
00:17:49,577 --> 00:17:51,314
You can't fight your own fights?
459
00:17:51,414 --> 00:17:52,914
You need to be saved by this freak show?
460
00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:55,821
No, really, leave my buddy alone.
461
00:17:56,586 --> 00:17:59,902
Why don't you take a hike, fake...
462
00:18:02,032 --> 00:18:04,601
It's nice. Is that a wool blend?
463
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,023
That's cute.
464
00:18:06,649 --> 00:18:07,910
[crush]
465
00:18:09,097 --> 00:18:11,134
?
466
00:18:11,159 --> 00:18:12,127
Kenny!
467
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,762
Leave him! He's already dead!
468
00:18:13,787 --> 00:18:15,589
He resorted to violence!
469
00:18:15,614 --> 00:18:16,710
Guys!
470
00:18:16,735 --> 00:18:18,406
That was incredible!
471
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,866
KENNY: It's in my eyes!
472
00:18:19,891 --> 00:18:21,764
Grab me a glass of water!
473
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,479
Yeah, I got a fertility
test a couple of years ago.
474
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,120
The doctor looked me
right in the eye and said,
475
00:18:26,145 --> 00:18:28,114
"Mitch, you're barren."
476
00:18:28,409 --> 00:18:30,307
Cynthia on the hand has experienced
477
00:18:30,352 --> 00:18:32,494
Immaculate Conception like three times.
478
00:18:33,056 --> 00:18:36,092
Looking back on it now, I
think she was cheating on me.
479
00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:37,618
Nah. So, Doily,
480
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:39,378
sounds like she's still pining for you.
481
00:18:40,061 --> 00:18:41,329
Does sound like that, doesn't it?
482
00:18:41,430 --> 00:18:42,499
Oh, so sad.
483
00:18:42,524 --> 00:18:43,665
- Showtime!
- Hey!
484
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,083
How did it shake out, boys?
485
00:18:46,469 --> 00:18:47,667
You got the results?
486
00:18:47,692 --> 00:18:48,894
Yes, I do.
487
00:18:49,704 --> 00:18:51,323
Let's just remember the deal.
488
00:18:51,348 --> 00:18:53,581
Loser has to move out
of the basement, pal.
489
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:55,018
Oh, I remember.
490
00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:56,599
Ladies first.
491
00:18:58,911 --> 00:18:59,912
Ha!
492
00:18:59,953 --> 00:19:02,350
My sperm are swimming like Michael Phelps
493
00:19:02,451 --> 00:19:04,720
going for his 19th
gold medal down in Rio.
494
00:19:04,819 --> 00:19:06,188
- Whoo, whoo.
- [laughs]
495
00:19:07,490 --> 00:19:08,531
Ronnie?
496
00:19:08,825 --> 00:19:10,351
Who wants to get pregnant?
497
00:19:10,558 --> 00:19:11,930
Uh, nobody.
498
00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:13,424
I call top bunk.
499
00:19:13,449 --> 00:19:15,151
There's no way you're getting top bunk.
500
00:19:15,228 --> 00:19:17,531
Ronnie, Vernon, sit down!
501
00:19:21,401 --> 00:19:23,704
Okay, look, one of you is
the father of this baby.
502
00:19:23,804 --> 00:19:26,897
But apparently we're not
gonna know who anytime soon.
503
00:19:27,339 --> 00:19:30,241
So I'm okay with both of
you living at my house.
504
00:19:30,509 --> 00:19:33,646
But not if you're gonna just
continue to taunt each other
505
00:19:33,747 --> 00:19:36,249
like... like those stupid
fake wrestlers you love.
506
00:19:36,348 --> 00:19:38,150
- That's not fake.
- I thought it was real.
507
00:19:38,175 --> 00:19:40,377
Whatever, this isn't a contest, alright?
508
00:19:40,553 --> 00:19:42,355
And the fighting isn't
good for me or the baby.
509
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:44,123
So either get along or get out.
510
00:19:44,223 --> 00:19:45,602
It's up to y'all.
511
00:19:47,259 --> 00:19:48,847
Eee-ee-eee.
512
00:19:52,798 --> 00:19:54,601
?
513
00:19:54,701 --> 00:19:56,464
We need to pull it together
514
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:59,443
for Deb, the baby.
515
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:02,861
I call truce.
516
00:20:03,942 --> 00:20:05,744
- It doesn't mean I like you.
- Ditto.
517
00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:07,474
- Good.
- Great.
518
00:20:07,779 --> 00:20:09,615
I never washed my hands at the clinic.
519
00:20:12,618 --> 00:20:14,227
[groans] Thanks, Mom.
520
00:20:17,656 --> 00:20:19,492
Well, it looks like
things are gonna be weird
521
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:20,842
for a few more months.
522
00:20:20,842 --> 00:20:23,812
I kinda like the chaos. I'm proud of you.
523
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,812
Hey, kids. Do you mind if join you?
524
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,385
Ronnie and I have discussed it,
525
00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:29,160
and we've decided to bury the hatchet.
526
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:31,518
Thank you.
527
00:20:32,005 --> 00:20:33,120
For now, hombre.
528
00:20:33,780 --> 00:20:35,189
Bury the hatchet in your ass.
529
00:20:35,289 --> 00:20:37,759
Hey, is it too late to call
dips on being the godfather?
530
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:39,453
I'm not sure that's dips-able.
531
00:20:39,554 --> 00:20:40,882
I'd like to make a toast.
532
00:20:41,222 --> 00:20:42,423
To Debbie...
533
00:20:43,057 --> 00:20:45,326
A strong woman, good mother,
534
00:20:45,426 --> 00:20:47,695
and the glue that holds
this family together.
535
00:20:47,796 --> 00:20:48,830
To family!
536
00:20:48,855 --> 00:20:49,932
To family!
537
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,863
To my family!
538
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,102
Amigo.
539
00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,750
Uh, son of a...
540
00:20:56,564 --> 00:20:58,065
Not on the homework.
541
00:20:58,573 --> 00:20:59,575
My bad.
542
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:04,175
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