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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:45,309 --> 00:00:46,862 You were incredible. 2 00:00:47,518 --> 00:00:49,727 My heart is still racing. 3 00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,937 I felt it too. 4 00:00:53,041 --> 00:00:54,974 All thanks to your brute strength, Dash, 5 00:00:55,077 --> 00:00:58,218 and your knowledge of ancient Aramaic mathematics. 6 00:00:58,322 --> 00:01:01,221 Please. This has nothing to do with my two doctorates 7 00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:03,396 and my master's in Gender Studies 8 00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:07,262 and everything to do with you, Dr. Lovemore. 9 00:01:07,711 --> 00:01:09,609 The truth is, 10 00:01:09,713 --> 00:01:12,094 I never thought I would find the Lost City of D. 11 00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:15,132 I would choose your words carefully. 12 00:01:15,235 --> 00:01:16,996 They will be your last. 13 00:01:17,099 --> 00:01:20,862 You led me right to King Kalaman's tomb 14 00:01:20,965 --> 00:01:24,555 and his queen's legendary Crown of Fire. 15 00:01:24,659 --> 00:01:27,558 And now I will be very rich, 16 00:01:27,662 --> 00:01:30,354 and you will be very dead. 17 00:01:31,286 --> 00:01:34,669 Hold up. Are these... Are these your snakes? 18 00:01:34,772 --> 00:01:36,394 No, they were just here. 19 00:01:36,498 --> 00:01:38,949 There were just hundreds of snakes in this temple 20 00:01:39,052 --> 00:01:40,916 just waiting for us to show up? 21 00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,125 - Who feeds them? You feed them? - No, what do they eat? 22 00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:45,438 Why is that one not biting that guy? Why is that happening? 23 00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:47,504 Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something? 24 00:01:47,528 --> 00:01:48,406 Yeah, well... 25 00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:50,788 I mean, the snake-to-temple ratio alone... 26 00:01:50,892 --> 00:01:53,342 This is ridiculous. Delete. 27 00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,518 I... I think my character can still work. 28 00:01:56,622 --> 00:01:58,347 Delete. 29 00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,626 Loretta, you still have a story to write. 30 00:02:01,316 --> 00:02:02,628 Delete. 31 00:02:05,009 --> 00:02:06,873 Hey, it's me, Beth. 32 00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:09,393 I don't want to pull the whole "I'm your publisher" card, but I am. 33 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,844 And I'm really looking forward to seeing this last chapter. 34 00:02:11,947 --> 00:02:13,984 But no pressure. No, there actually is pressure. 35 00:02:14,087 --> 00:02:18,264 The exact amount of pressure that motivates you but doesn't paralyze you. 36 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,748 You got this. 37 00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:22,268 Thank you. 38 00:02:22,371 --> 00:02:24,408 Me again. 39 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,375 Okay, so everything is set for the book tour, 40 00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,309 but, uh, the only thing we need is a book to tour with. 41 00:02:29,413 --> 00:02:31,553 I can't help but get the feeling that you're not finishing 42 00:02:31,657 --> 00:02:34,107 because you don't want to leave your house. 43 00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:39,388 Listen, I know these last five years have been hard after John's passing, 44 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,875 and it feels easier to live in your bathtub, 45 00:02:42,978 --> 00:02:45,636 drinking Chardonnay on ice. 46 00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:48,535 But, girl, there is a great big world waiting for you 47 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,642 and a book tour that I can't cancel, so just make it happen, all right? 48 00:02:51,746 --> 00:02:52,988 Love you, bye! 49 00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:13,526 We have to keep going. 50 00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:17,047 Let's see what's on the other side of that door. 51 00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,256 But what if there isn't anything? 52 00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:22,086 There's only one way to find out. 53 00:03:22,984 --> 00:03:24,917 Then Lovemore realized 54 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,298 the treasure she wanted was lost forever 55 00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:29,784 and her adventures were coming to an end. 56 00:03:29,887 --> 00:03:31,026 That doesn't feel right. 57 00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:32,925 Yeah, but that's it. 58 00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:34,478 That's the end. 59 00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:45,075 Well, John, 60 00:03:45,661 --> 00:03:46,766 here I go. 61 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,148 Dulcius ex asperis. 62 00:03:55,671 --> 00:03:58,433 - Okay, honey, it's showtime. - Are you sure about this? 63 00:03:58,536 --> 00:04:02,126 Because I have a wedgie in the back and in the front in this thing. 64 00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:04,473 I feel like a nerdy figure skater. 65 00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,269 - Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it. - No, it's not. It's not. 66 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:09,306 - How do I move in this? - Don't touch it. 67 00:04:09,409 --> 00:04:11,618 - I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out. - Stop it. Will you stop? 68 00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,897 Get it out now 'cause you can't do that onstage. 69 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,692 And we're done. And we're done. Okay, good. 70 00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:18,694 Do I need to be wearing a glitter onesie? 71 00:04:18,798 --> 00:04:20,248 You only have to wear this for two hours. 72 00:04:20,351 --> 00:04:22,319 Do not mess this up, do you hear me? This is on loan. 73 00:04:22,422 --> 00:04:24,424 Everyone's wearing sequins right now. 74 00:04:25,943 --> 00:04:28,014 - Why is she taking my photo? - This is Allison. 75 00:04:28,118 --> 00:04:30,430 She is our new social media manager. 76 00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:33,364 And she's gonna be helping us target that younger demographic. 77 00:04:33,468 --> 00:04:35,953 Meaning women in their 30s who wish they were in their 20s. 78 00:04:36,057 --> 00:04:37,575 Hey, what's up? 79 00:04:37,679 --> 00:04:41,027 Um, I took over your socials, so this morning you tweeted, 80 00:04:41,131 --> 00:04:46,308 "Where are my ladies at? Meet me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m. 81 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,862 #ShawnMendes. 82 00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:50,830 #GaggingToMeetYouAll." 83 00:04:50,934 --> 00:04:53,488 Okay, we are having fun. Let's go. 84 00:04:53,591 --> 00:04:56,560 We need to remind people that you are still alive. 85 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,079 People know I'm alive. 86 00:04:58,182 --> 00:05:00,150 And to remind them why this used to be 87 00:05:00,253 --> 00:05:02,324 - the best selling franchise. - In Romance. 88 00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,051 Yes, which is the top revenue-generating literary category. 89 00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:08,020 Revenue-generating isn't how I would describe our presales right now. 90 00:05:08,123 --> 00:05:10,263 Just think of this as a way that uses word of mouth. 91 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:11,989 Oh, you want word of mouth? Here we go. How's this? 92 00:05:12,093 --> 00:05:14,889 "The only thing more lost than the city is the author herself." 93 00:05:14,992 --> 00:05:16,752 "Loveless." "Passionless." 94 00:05:16,856 --> 00:05:20,756 Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh, "This is fake history at its worst." 95 00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:23,035 A book tour could change everything, okay? 96 00:05:23,138 --> 00:05:25,451 We have to remind the fans why they love you so much. 97 00:05:25,554 --> 00:05:29,144 Real history. I merely season it with a smidge more nudity. 98 00:05:29,248 --> 00:05:31,457 History had a ton of nudity. 99 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,391 Deep exploration. 100 00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:36,980 Steamy wondering. 101 00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:42,123 Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen Taha's priceless Crown of Fire? 102 00:05:42,226 --> 00:05:44,021 Join them on their search. 103 00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,058 So, listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. 104 00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:47,404 There's so many people. 105 00:05:47,507 --> 00:05:49,647 I know how much you hate doing these things, 106 00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:52,478 so I've invited Alan to do the Q and A with you today. 107 00:05:52,581 --> 00:05:54,583 - What? - And the rest of the book tour. 108 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,655 Beth, I expressly asked not to do any more events with Dash... Alan, Alan! 109 00:05:57,759 --> 00:06:00,589 - He's gonna humiliate me. - He's not gonna humiliate you. 110 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,730 Thank you. You're very good at your job. Thank you so much. Thank you. 111 00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,042 Let me help you with that. 112 00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:07,044 He is... He's a body wash commercial. 113 00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:09,012 He's always glistening all over the place. 114 00:06:09,115 --> 00:06:12,015 There hasn't been an event where his shirt didn't come flying off. 115 00:06:12,118 --> 00:06:13,637 - You wish. - Well, he's already here, 116 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,881 so put on your big-girl panties and let's get out there. 117 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:19,160 Remember, no grumpy face, big words or boring academic talk. 118 00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:22,542 Yes! Yes! 119 00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,579 Come on, RTP! 120 00:06:24,682 --> 00:06:26,167 Ha-ha! 121 00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:28,514 Yes, my Lovemore-heads! 122 00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:32,069 I am so excited to introduce to you 123 00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:36,004 the award-winning author, Loretta Sage! 124 00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:38,662 - Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready. - Are you kidding me? 125 00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,491 Listen, I've got your back. You got this. 126 00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,114 Go give the people what they want. 127 00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,081 - It's not me they want. - Get out there now! 128 00:06:46,635 --> 00:06:50,467 Hi. How are you? Nice to see you. Thank you. 129 00:06:55,817 --> 00:06:57,543 Yep. Mount it. 130 00:06:59,994 --> 00:07:02,893 Mount it. Mount it. Okay. 131 00:07:02,997 --> 00:07:04,688 Find your center. 132 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,347 And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 133 00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,211 The sexiest... 134 00:07:10,314 --> 00:07:14,318 ...most influential hero of a generation. 135 00:07:14,422 --> 00:07:15,630 That's a bit strong. 136 00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:18,357 His 20th cover of an Angela Lovemore novel. 137 00:07:18,944 --> 00:07:21,084 Dash McMahon! 138 00:07:26,537 --> 00:07:29,057 Oh, my God! Dash! 139 00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:54,082 - Take a bow. - I already did mine. I did mine. 140 00:07:54,186 --> 00:07:57,154 Okay, come on. One more. I got you. 141 00:08:12,169 --> 00:08:13,826 Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my God. 142 00:08:13,929 --> 00:08:17,761 I'm loving this chemistry between you two, and I got to say, 143 00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,005 I love this book. 144 00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,178 - Oh, thank you, Ray. - Thank... 145 00:08:21,282 --> 00:08:22,628 Spoiler alert. 146 00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:24,009 A really bold choice 147 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,045 to not have them go into the tomb at the end. 148 00:08:26,149 --> 00:08:27,771 Talk about what went into this one. 149 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:31,326 I mean, this one's such a special book for me personally. 150 00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:34,260 I... I don't know how to say how much it means to me 151 00:08:34,364 --> 00:08:36,469 that Loretta, word writer extraordinaire, 152 00:08:36,573 --> 00:08:39,610 has, you know, named the book after me. 153 00:08:39,714 --> 00:08:41,543 The Lost City of Dash. 154 00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:42,751 The Lost City of D. 155 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,099 Um, but that's not what the D stands for. 156 00:08:45,202 --> 00:08:47,791 - It's D for "dick," right? - No dick, no. 157 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,001 It's based on the name of an ancient tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica. 158 00:08:51,105 --> 00:08:55,661 And, um, it was too difficult for the European colonizers to pronounce, 159 00:08:55,764 --> 00:08:59,044 - so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it. - No one cares about this. 160 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,873 That's so interesting. Okay. 161 00:09:00,976 --> 00:09:03,289 How about we take some questions from the audience? 162 00:09:03,393 --> 00:09:05,188 Yes. 163 00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:09,433 Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment? 164 00:09:09,537 --> 00:09:14,059 What I would really like to know is what is Loretta's favorite romantic moment? 165 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,095 Ooh, spicy. 166 00:09:16,199 --> 00:09:18,132 Oh, uh... 167 00:09:18,235 --> 00:09:20,927 Well, being a sapiosexual... 168 00:09:21,031 --> 00:09:23,240 Oh, is that when they do the snakes around the... 169 00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:27,417 No. That's someone who finds, uh, intellect 170 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,421 or intelligence, uh, very sexy, you know. 171 00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:32,629 Same. 172 00:09:33,112 --> 00:09:34,355 Really? 173 00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:36,874 Dash! Rip off your shirt! 174 00:09:36,978 --> 00:09:40,706 No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today. We're here for Loretta's book. 175 00:09:40,809 --> 00:09:42,673 Do we have questions for Loretta? 176 00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:47,954 Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady? What would you like to ask me? 177 00:09:48,058 --> 00:09:50,095 Can you rip off Dash's shirt? 178 00:09:51,648 --> 00:09:54,478 No, no. We're not gonna do this again. Sorry. 179 00:09:54,582 --> 00:09:57,102 Rip it off! Rip it off! 180 00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,518 Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off! 181 00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:03,349 Of course. Of course, yes. Can do. 182 00:10:04,316 --> 00:10:05,593 Is this happening? 183 00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:07,422 - You don't have to do this. - Oh, we have to. 184 00:10:07,526 --> 00:10:09,597 We have to give the people what they want. Yes, yes. 185 00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,427 We have to give the people what they want, yes. 186 00:10:12,531 --> 00:10:15,775 Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy. 187 00:10:15,879 --> 00:10:20,539 Because The Lost City of D is Dash's final adventure. 188 00:10:20,642 --> 00:10:22,713 If there even is a next book, 189 00:10:22,817 --> 00:10:25,923 it will open with Lovemore receiving the tragic news 190 00:10:26,027 --> 00:10:28,374 of his untimely death. 191 00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:29,858 What? 192 00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,412 Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.Ow. Hold on. 193 00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:32,585 I know. Don't pull it. 194 00:10:32,689 --> 00:10:34,208 It's okay. Just be real still. 195 00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:35,726 - No. That's pulling it. - You're pulling it. 196 00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:38,419 You're gonna rip my wig off. No, you can't... 197 00:10:42,837 --> 00:10:43,803 Oh, my! 198 00:10:43,907 --> 00:10:45,322 - Oh, my God. - Is he okay? 199 00:10:45,426 --> 00:10:47,048 God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 200 00:10:47,152 --> 00:10:49,809 - I'm so sorry. - You're a bad person. 201 00:10:49,913 --> 00:10:54,159 Stick around for the costume contest at 6:00 p.m. 202 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,265 "If there is another book"? 203 00:10:57,369 --> 00:11:02,270 I'm investing everything we've got into this tour, okay? 204 00:11:02,374 --> 00:11:05,825 I just don't think I have another Dash and Lovemore adventure in me. 205 00:11:05,929 --> 00:11:07,310 How does Dash die? 206 00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:09,553 - Was it the snakes? - No. 207 00:11:09,657 --> 00:11:12,004 Okay, so I have something that I have to take care of. 208 00:11:12,107 --> 00:11:14,558 You guys have an interview in the next suite in ten minutes. 209 00:11:14,662 --> 00:11:17,078 So can you please do me a favor and be grown-ups 210 00:11:17,182 --> 00:11:18,700 and get yourselves there on your own? 211 00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,012 Okay. Thank you so much. 212 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,877 Does he die from a staph infection? 213 00:11:24,844 --> 00:11:26,915 It is a staph infection. I knew it. 214 00:11:28,089 --> 00:11:29,470 I-I... All right. 215 00:11:29,573 --> 00:11:32,645 Look, I get it if you need a break or something, 216 00:11:32,749 --> 00:11:34,751 - but you can't just kill me, okay? - Okay. 217 00:11:34,854 --> 00:11:39,238 I hate that I have to ask this, but you do know you're not Dash, right? 218 00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:41,516 Dash is a character I made up. 219 00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:42,862 Dash? 220 00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:46,935 Thanks. 221 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,247 Thank you. 222 00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:53,010 - Loretta, it's this way. - No, I think it's this way. 223 00:11:53,114 --> 00:11:55,461 Can't you see that Dash means so much to people? 224 00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:57,429 - Means so much to you. - Not to me. 225 00:11:57,532 --> 00:11:59,189 Well, yeah, to me, but to other people too. 226 00:11:59,293 --> 00:12:02,261 - What about Beth? - You know what? Beth is gonna be fine. 227 00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:06,196 She's gonna find plenty fresh, young writers full of great ideas. 228 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,302 You can transition gracefully 229 00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,752 into the shirt-on phase of your modeling career, 230 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,202 and I can be left alone. 231 00:12:12,306 --> 00:12:14,031 Everybody is happy. 232 00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:15,930 No, it's this way. 233 00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,863 Beth says you don't even leave the house anymore. 234 00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:20,003 I don't feel like that's very happy. 235 00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:23,006 You should be going out in the world, filling yourself up on new experiences. 236 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:25,353 I'm already filled up. I'm full. I'm fully satiated. 237 00:12:25,457 --> 00:12:28,805 Why would you want to be stuck at home alone when you could see the world? 238 00:12:28,908 --> 00:12:30,427 You could be visiting ancient Greece. 239 00:12:30,531 --> 00:12:33,430 Okay. How could I visit ancient Greece? 240 00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,570 I get it. Because you're afraid of flying. 241 00:12:35,674 --> 00:12:39,091 No. Because ancient Greece is in the past. 242 00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:40,748 Just like Dash. 243 00:12:40,851 --> 00:12:44,061 Okay. You want to know who else is stuck in the past? You are. 244 00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:46,926 You're so afraid of life hurting you again that you've stopped living. 245 00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:49,343 You're like a human mummy. 246 00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,863 I didn't, um... 247 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,314 Oh. 248 00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,558 Mummies are human. 249 00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:08,810 Stupid... Oh, crap. 250 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,848 I'm so sorry. I-I will clean this up. 251 00:13:11,951 --> 00:13:14,437 I am not a litterer, I-I assure you that. 252 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:18,026 Do you, um... Do you think you could, uh, call a car for me, please? 253 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,649 Thank you. Thank you. 254 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,584 Bring the car around. 255 00:13:23,687 --> 00:13:25,137 God, is that someone's retainer? 256 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,588 I've never said the right thing one time around her. 257 00:13:27,691 --> 00:13:29,624 I get nervous because she opens her mouth, 258 00:13:29,728 --> 00:13:34,180 and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness comes out, and I just never say... 259 00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:35,596 You know she's trying to kill me? 260 00:13:35,699 --> 00:13:37,874 I just need those tomatoes. 261 00:13:37,977 --> 00:13:40,325 You're right. No, you're right. 262 00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:41,912 I should apologize. Thank you, man. 263 00:13:42,016 --> 00:13:44,259 - I appreciate that very, very much. - You're welcome. 264 00:13:54,408 --> 00:13:56,686 Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah. 265 00:14:01,898 --> 00:14:03,002 Uh... 266 00:14:04,314 --> 00:14:05,522 Hiya. 267 00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:07,110 Uh, I did not order an UberPool. 268 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,182 Someone wants to meet you. We'll have you right back. 269 00:14:10,285 --> 00:14:11,459 Um... 270 00:14:14,945 --> 00:14:16,222 Loretta! 271 00:14:16,326 --> 00:14:17,845 Loretta! Loretta? 272 00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:22,608 Uh, Loretta? 273 00:14:22,712 --> 00:14:25,300 - Did you say "Loretta"? - Yeah. 274 00:14:25,404 --> 00:14:26,612 - Follow that SUV, man. - No. 275 00:14:26,716 --> 00:14:28,476 - Come on, please! - No, no, no. 276 00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,652 I'm not helping any more handsome strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm. 277 00:14:31,755 --> 00:14:35,069 What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"? 278 00:14:35,172 --> 00:14:36,588 Am I sold already? 279 00:14:36,691 --> 00:14:39,694 Am I... Am I sold to him? 280 00:14:39,798 --> 00:14:43,457 - Ow. Stop. - Oh, no. Did this feel creepy? 281 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,183 I said don't make it creepy, guys. 282 00:14:46,287 --> 00:14:48,116 I'm so sorry about the setting. 283 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,809 I just flew in. I was in a real panic to meet you. 284 00:14:50,912 --> 00:14:52,983 I didn't have time to dress the place up much. 285 00:14:53,087 --> 00:14:55,883 I read you love cheese, so I just got them all. 286 00:14:55,986 --> 00:15:00,059 Are you the one who's been emailing me for photos of my feet? 287 00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,027 No. Um... 288 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,445 And I promise what I'm about to show you is gonna make you very happy. 289 00:15:07,204 --> 00:15:08,413 But first, a little bit 290 00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:11,726 about the mysterious rogue you see before you. 291 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:14,108 Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax. 292 00:15:14,211 --> 00:15:17,145 - Abigail? - It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly. 293 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:20,942 Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax of the media-mogul Fairfaxes? 294 00:15:21,874 --> 00:15:25,084 Didn't you just take over your company or... 295 00:15:25,188 --> 00:15:29,123 No, that was my brother, actually. That was Leslie. We're all very proud. 296 00:15:29,226 --> 00:15:32,333 Ah. Yes, I should say so, at such a young age to... 297 00:15:32,437 --> 00:15:34,369 Some might even say too young. 298 00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:37,200 But that world never really interested me. 299 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,892 My passions, as you may know, 300 00:15:39,996 --> 00:15:43,102 lie in the hidden things in the world, 301 00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:45,829 things which defy possession. 302 00:15:45,933 --> 00:15:48,970 Um, some might call me a collector. 303 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:52,767 But there is one obsession in particular 304 00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:54,976 that has held me captive. 305 00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:57,634 The Crown of Fire 306 00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,119 and its cascading red diamonds. 307 00:16:00,223 --> 00:16:03,882 Is this a... Is this a hidden-camera thing? 308 00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:07,575 So imagine my surprise when, in your new book, 309 00:16:07,679 --> 00:16:10,958 amidst the pages of coital reverie, 310 00:16:11,061 --> 00:16:11,890 was something... 311 00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:14,064 - Oh, God... - quite magnificent. 312 00:16:15,928 --> 00:16:18,483 I get it. I get it. I so get it right now. 313 00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:19,898 Oh, my gosh. 314 00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,176 I literally thought you guys kidnapped me. 315 00:16:22,279 --> 00:16:24,765 I mean, this is marketing, right? Beth set this up? 316 00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:27,768 This was so good, you guys. This was amazing. 317 00:16:27,871 --> 00:16:31,116 You, with your gun and your mustache 318 00:16:31,219 --> 00:16:34,188 and your, "You'd better get in there" and you know... 319 00:16:35,396 --> 00:16:36,915 Oh, my God. 320 00:16:37,018 --> 00:16:40,781 You, with the G.I. Joe tone-on-tone outfit. 321 00:16:40,884 --> 00:16:45,889 Your fictional archaeologist was making real translations of a dead language. 322 00:16:45,993 --> 00:16:48,892 - Mm-hmm. - Something nobody else has been able to do. 323 00:16:48,996 --> 00:16:51,412 Well, nobody else had ever tried. 324 00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:53,345 Is that right? Am I saying the right thing? 325 00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:55,105 Except you, right? 326 00:16:55,209 --> 00:16:57,176 Except me! 327 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,006 Yes. See, it turns out 328 00:16:59,109 --> 00:17:02,423 Loretta Sage was once a young college girl doing her dissertation 329 00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:05,391 on the dead language of the D with her future husband, 330 00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:08,602 dreaming of finding Kalaman's tomb and the Crown of Fire. 331 00:17:08,705 --> 00:17:11,812 I was sorry to read you gave up your search after he died. 332 00:17:11,915 --> 00:17:13,538 But what that means is, 333 00:17:14,815 --> 00:17:16,713 you're all I have left. 334 00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:19,992 All-All you have left for... what? 335 00:17:20,096 --> 00:17:21,131 Hmm. 336 00:17:22,926 --> 00:17:24,169 Oh. 337 00:17:24,272 --> 00:17:25,653 Here we go. 338 00:17:39,771 --> 00:17:41,496 What is this? 339 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,293 I believe it is describing the exact location of Kalaman's tomb, 340 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,849 in which Taha and her priceless headdress are buried. 341 00:17:48,952 --> 00:17:51,092 Well, if this were authentic, 342 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:56,546 you would still have to uncover an entire city 343 00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:59,687 that nobody has been able to find. 344 00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,447 I found it. 345 00:18:01,551 --> 00:18:04,692 On a tiny, forgotten island in the Atlantic called Isla Hundida. 346 00:18:04,796 --> 00:18:08,351 What I have not been able to find is Kalaman's final resting place. 347 00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:12,735 This piece of parchment is the only clue we found among the ruins. 348 00:18:12,838 --> 00:18:15,979 I need someone who can decipher these symbols. 349 00:18:16,601 --> 00:18:18,154 I need you. 350 00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:20,743 - Well... - Miss Sage, 351 00:18:20,846 --> 00:18:24,229 surely this isn't how you want your story to end. 352 00:18:24,332 --> 00:18:26,921 We both had our dreams crushed by bad luck, 353 00:18:27,025 --> 00:18:29,268 or in my case, an arse-kissing little brother, 354 00:18:29,372 --> 00:18:32,478 but this is our chance to show them all. 355 00:18:32,582 --> 00:18:34,170 Come with me... to the island. 356 00:18:34,273 --> 00:18:39,416 Translate these symbols and help me find the Crown of Fire. 357 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,143 You can name your price. 358 00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:47,597 I must respectfully decline. 359 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,672 Well... 360 00:18:55,294 --> 00:18:57,262 I can't say I'm not disappointed. 361 00:18:58,159 --> 00:19:00,645 But I understand how you feel. 362 00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:05,753 Will you at least let us give you a ride? 363 00:19:05,857 --> 00:19:10,137 Oh, no, thank you. I'll call for my own car, and I'll just... 364 00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:35,472 I don't feel like you're listening to me. This is urgent, and we... 365 00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:38,510 Okay, so the police are saying that they put out an APB... 366 00:19:38,613 --> 00:19:40,270 - APB... - on an SUV, 367 00:19:40,374 --> 00:19:42,617 - and there's this 24-hour rule... - Why is there a rule? 368 00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:45,137 - ...and they won't do anything until... - What about the FBI or the CIA? 369 00:19:45,241 --> 00:19:47,208 - They said to call the police. - I'm sure Loretta's fine. 370 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,901 When I was in college, my friend Nicki went missing. 371 00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:51,626 Everyone was, like, freaking out. 372 00:19:51,730 --> 00:19:54,077 But then she was just in her car. 373 00:19:54,181 --> 00:19:57,356 She was dead, but we found her. She wasn't gone. 374 00:19:57,460 --> 00:20:01,809 Um, what about... Maybe we could get a PI 375 00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:04,432 or, like, you know, private security or... 376 00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,434 What about an extraction team, like the movie? 377 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,023 Yes! But who does that? The ex-military, right? 378 00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:11,716 Oh, yeah. I think I actually have somebody that could help us. 379 00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:14,788 - Oh. - I did this meditation retreat, 380 00:20:14,891 --> 00:20:16,962 and there was this trainer guy there. 381 00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,584 You should see this guy meditate. 382 00:20:18,688 --> 00:20:20,103 But he's ex-Navy SEAL. 383 00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:24,004 He... He's a special ops trainer. What was his name? 384 00:20:24,694 --> 00:20:25,833 Yeah. Jack Trainer. 385 00:20:25,937 --> 00:20:27,559 So he's a trainer named Jack Trainer? 386 00:20:27,662 --> 00:20:29,837 That's how I have everybody in my phone. See, "Janice Mom." 387 00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:31,390 "Larry Doorknob." "Stacy Butt Stuff." 388 00:20:31,494 --> 00:20:34,186 Look, this is what this guy does. He finds people. 389 00:20:34,290 --> 00:20:36,568 If there's anybody that can help us, it's him. 390 00:20:43,506 --> 00:20:46,026 - Jack Trainer. - Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer. 391 00:20:46,129 --> 00:20:50,030 Hi, uh, this is Alan from "Touching Your Inner Self." 392 00:20:51,514 --> 00:20:53,343 The meditation retreat? 393 00:20:55,069 --> 00:20:58,141 Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped, 394 00:20:58,245 --> 00:20:59,694 and no one's helping us. 395 00:20:59,798 --> 00:21:01,282 How long she been missing? 396 00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:02,628 Maybe two hours now. 397 00:21:02,732 --> 00:21:04,044 Who is that? 398 00:21:04,147 --> 00:21:08,186 Um, this is B... This is Beth. I'm Beth. 399 00:21:08,289 --> 00:21:10,705 And Allison is on too, sir. 400 00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:13,018 Did she have any Wi-Fi-enabled devices? 401 00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:16,021 - She's got her phone, right? - No, I have her phone. 402 00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:18,748 Oh! She has a smartwatch. It ripped my wig off. 403 00:21:18,852 --> 00:21:21,786 What was that scenario? Never mind. Open the phone. 404 00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,442 - Go to the smartwatch app. - All right. 405 00:21:23,546 --> 00:21:25,859 Then hit "Find My Smartwatch." 406 00:21:25,962 --> 00:21:28,896 Oh, my... That is so good. That's why we called. 407 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,450 "Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy." 408 00:21:31,554 --> 00:21:35,247 - Is that Oprah or Deepak? - Laozi fromTao-te Ching. 409 00:21:35,351 --> 00:21:36,559 Oh, my God. 410 00:21:36,662 --> 00:21:38,354 It's in the Atlantic. 411 00:21:38,457 --> 00:21:40,805 - She's on a plane? - How can you tell that? 412 00:21:40,908 --> 00:21:43,083 'Cause she can't swim that fast. 413 00:21:43,186 --> 00:21:44,636 Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario. 414 00:21:44,739 --> 00:21:47,363 My guess is blood sport, Hunger Games type situation. 415 00:21:47,466 --> 00:21:50,297 Possibly some coke-fueled dark web scavenger hunt. 416 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,437 Real clown shit. We'll have to move fast. 417 00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:55,474 - How do we pay you? - Cryptocurrency. Cash App. 418 00:21:55,578 --> 00:21:59,064 I'll have her back within 48 hours or your next rescue is free. 419 00:21:59,168 --> 00:22:00,652 How many people need a next rescue? 420 00:22:00,755 --> 00:22:02,274 More than you'd think. 421 00:22:02,378 --> 00:22:04,207 - I'm gonna need that phone. - I'll bring it to you. 422 00:22:04,311 --> 00:22:07,072 Let me know where she lands. I'll meet you there, Alan. 423 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,123 Hello. 424 00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:28,853 Where am I? 425 00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,958 Um, you're on my plane. 426 00:22:31,062 --> 00:22:32,270 It's nice, isn't it? Hmm? 427 00:22:32,373 --> 00:22:34,203 The seats are made of mama llama leather. 428 00:22:34,306 --> 00:22:37,413 Well, I'm getting off your plane. 429 00:22:37,516 --> 00:22:38,897 Unchain me! 430 00:22:39,001 --> 00:22:40,554 That's your seat belt. 431 00:22:41,141 --> 00:22:43,005 Did you chloroform me? 432 00:22:43,108 --> 00:22:45,317 People actually do that? 433 00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:50,357 Well, you know, it's a classic for a reason. 434 00:22:51,047 --> 00:22:52,290 My body feels drunk. 435 00:22:52,393 --> 00:22:54,292 It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry. 436 00:22:54,395 --> 00:22:56,811 I just couldn't wait around for you to change your mind. 437 00:22:56,915 --> 00:22:59,366 - Stop playing jelly. - Time is not on our side. 438 00:22:59,469 --> 00:23:02,196 You see, the volcano we're excavating around 439 00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:04,267 has developed a bad case of indigestion. 440 00:23:04,371 --> 00:23:06,235 I'm rather worried that when it blows, 441 00:23:06,338 --> 00:23:08,409 everything that's left of the Lost City will be destroyed. 442 00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:10,411 Oh, my God. My legs don't work. 443 00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:15,934 So, this is our last chance to find both the tomb and the crown. 444 00:23:16,038 --> 00:23:18,074 Oh, God. Oh! 445 00:23:18,178 --> 00:23:20,456 Don't worry. That's just our final descent. 446 00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:26,565 But it is the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life. 447 00:24:35,186 --> 00:24:37,257 Welcome to the Lost City. 448 00:24:46,887 --> 00:24:48,302 How did you find it? 449 00:24:48,406 --> 00:24:50,546 So, the city was built on a lava dome. 450 00:24:50,649 --> 00:24:53,342 As the volcano became active, the dome filled with lava, 451 00:24:53,445 --> 00:24:56,069 and sunken things rose to the surface. 452 00:24:56,172 --> 00:24:58,071 The D exposed itself. 453 00:24:58,174 --> 00:25:01,212 - The entire city? - No, no. Just the tip. 454 00:25:01,315 --> 00:25:04,525 As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins, I flew over and bought the place. 455 00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:07,908 - The site? - No. The island. The southern half. 456 00:25:08,012 --> 00:25:10,359 I got a good deal 'cause this is where the lava flows. 457 00:25:10,462 --> 00:25:12,706 We've been excavating for a year now. 458 00:25:13,776 --> 00:25:16,330 One doesn't kidnap a romance novelist on day one. 459 00:25:16,434 --> 00:25:18,470 Ah, yes, as the saying goes. 460 00:25:18,574 --> 00:25:21,577 Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, Rafi? 461 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,856 He says we're disrespecting his heritage. 462 00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:28,204 But not a lot of other job options on the island, are there, Rafi? 463 00:25:28,308 --> 00:25:30,379 Beggars can't be choosers. 464 00:25:40,216 --> 00:25:42,046 No more charcuterie, I take it. 465 00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:44,255 Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster. 466 00:25:44,358 --> 00:25:46,188 Whatever you need, just shout. 467 00:25:47,706 --> 00:25:52,573 Uh, leave one hand free. She has some translating to do. 468 00:25:53,781 --> 00:25:55,024 And then what? 469 00:25:55,128 --> 00:25:57,647 Loretta, I really wish you would try and see 470 00:25:57,751 --> 00:25:59,891 what an exciting opportunity this is for us. 471 00:25:59,994 --> 00:26:03,895 I believe this text describes the exact location of the tomb. 472 00:26:03,998 --> 00:26:06,518 It's a logographic system. 473 00:26:07,278 --> 00:26:09,866 Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics. 474 00:26:09,970 --> 00:26:13,767 Now, if you have other documents that possibly I can compare... 475 00:26:13,870 --> 00:26:15,148 Yeah, no luck there. 476 00:26:15,251 --> 00:26:18,047 We found some scratching at a nearby waterfall, 477 00:26:18,151 --> 00:26:19,048 but it was useless. 478 00:26:19,152 --> 00:26:20,705 Just pictures of women. 479 00:26:20,808 --> 00:26:25,399 Look, I, too, wish your dear old dead archaeologist husband 480 00:26:25,503 --> 00:26:28,230 was here to help, but he's not, so, 481 00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:31,440 time to shine, Loretta, sex-book writer. 482 00:26:32,855 --> 00:26:34,581 They will come for me. 483 00:26:35,168 --> 00:26:36,893 Who, exactly? 484 00:26:36,997 --> 00:26:38,723 Your... Your many cats? 485 00:26:38,826 --> 00:26:40,621 Oh, I don't have cats. 486 00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:43,037 Somehow even more sad. 487 00:26:43,141 --> 00:26:46,110 I have a hamster, asshole! 488 00:26:46,213 --> 00:26:47,870 You have a hamster's asshole? 489 00:26:47,973 --> 00:26:51,736 No, there was a... there was a comma between... Forget it. 490 00:26:51,839 --> 00:26:55,257 I bet your brother never had to kidnap anyone! 491 00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,585 Good to see you, man. 492 00:27:47,688 --> 00:27:49,311 - Phone. - Right. 493 00:28:01,185 --> 00:28:02,427 What? 494 00:28:02,531 --> 00:28:05,119 Yeah, I was thinking that I could, you know, 495 00:28:05,223 --> 00:28:06,811 maybe just sort of come with you. 496 00:28:06,914 --> 00:28:08,675 - Why? - To help. 497 00:28:08,778 --> 00:28:12,920 I know CPR. I know some light karate. CrossFit certified. 498 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:14,543 Okay, okay, listen, listen! 499 00:28:15,406 --> 00:28:17,097 I just... It's my fault. 500 00:28:17,201 --> 00:28:19,306 Not the kidnapping and stuff, 501 00:28:19,410 --> 00:28:22,482 but, like, I said some really mean stuff to her, and I regret it, 502 00:28:22,585 --> 00:28:24,208 and I just need to take it back. 503 00:28:24,311 --> 00:28:25,692 I called her a human mummy. 504 00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:28,453 Mummies are human. 505 00:28:29,109 --> 00:28:31,525 I'm aware of that now, yes. 506 00:28:31,629 --> 00:28:34,666 That is true. 507 00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:35,771 Please. 508 00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:39,740 All right, Alan, I can't be responsible for you. 509 00:28:40,707 --> 00:28:41,708 Okay. Yeah. 510 00:28:41,811 --> 00:28:44,780 - I need you to stay in the car. - Yeah. 511 00:28:44,883 --> 00:28:46,989 - In the car. - In the car. 512 00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:49,543 - The whole time. - The whole time? 513 00:28:49,647 --> 00:28:50,889 Whole time. 514 00:28:50,993 --> 00:28:52,236 Mm-hmm. 515 00:28:53,996 --> 00:28:55,273 Yes! 516 00:29:02,211 --> 00:29:03,557 This is me. 517 00:29:04,455 --> 00:29:06,733 Really? Is this what the SEAL teams use? 518 00:29:06,836 --> 00:29:09,494 "Only a fool chooses a horse by its color." 519 00:29:09,598 --> 00:29:12,394 Right, right. The Tao-te Ching? 520 00:29:12,497 --> 00:29:15,638 No, it was on the sign back there at the rental place. 521 00:29:24,164 --> 00:29:25,372 Thank you. 522 00:29:58,198 --> 00:29:59,648 What? What? 523 00:30:01,891 --> 00:30:03,893 I was hoping to invite you to breakfast, 524 00:30:03,997 --> 00:30:06,655 but it looks like you still have work to do. 525 00:30:07,621 --> 00:30:09,382 Uh, wait, wait, wait. 526 00:30:09,485 --> 00:30:11,004 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 527 00:30:11,107 --> 00:30:13,109 I believe this says 528 00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:15,215 "rest" or "resting." 529 00:30:15,319 --> 00:30:18,218 So it would be, "Kalaman and his treasure..." 530 00:30:18,322 --> 00:30:22,809 And then there are some missing pieces, and then "rest," "resting," 531 00:30:22,912 --> 00:30:26,330 and something about "tears," so... 532 00:30:28,124 --> 00:30:29,125 Resting where? 533 00:30:29,229 --> 00:30:30,437 Hmm? Oh! 534 00:30:30,541 --> 00:30:33,302 Didn't say. It doesn't say. 535 00:30:34,648 --> 00:30:37,651 Miss Sage, I need you to do better. 536 00:30:37,755 --> 00:30:41,206 Then next time maybe don't kidnap a romance novelist, hmm? 537 00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:43,519 My God, this shouldn't be this hard! 538 00:30:43,623 --> 00:30:45,556 It is not some pauper's grave we're looking for. 539 00:30:45,659 --> 00:30:47,937 It is a monument to a great man! 540 00:30:48,041 --> 00:30:49,974 King Kalaman was ambitious, he was powerful, 541 00:30:50,077 --> 00:30:52,528 he was the first man to build a city in the Atlantic. 542 00:30:52,632 --> 00:30:55,289 The eyes of his subjects would have turned to him. 543 00:30:55,393 --> 00:30:58,638 He would have had a pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower 544 00:30:58,741 --> 00:31:00,709 to hold his Crown of Fire. 545 00:31:00,812 --> 00:31:03,712 All I need to know is where it is. 546 00:31:03,815 --> 00:31:07,060 I don't know if you recall, but you only said translate it. 547 00:31:07,163 --> 00:31:09,303 I-I translated it. 548 00:31:10,097 --> 00:31:11,685 Translate it again. 549 00:31:17,311 --> 00:31:20,349 One day, we're gonna laugh about this. 550 00:31:20,453 --> 00:31:22,593 Such an adventure we're having. 551 00:31:25,699 --> 00:31:30,048 I should go with you, just for backup and awesomeness. 552 00:31:31,015 --> 00:31:32,672 This is pretty awesome. 553 00:31:32,775 --> 00:31:35,433 You got nature, the radio. 554 00:31:36,572 --> 00:31:40,196 Yeah, you're right, but it's very, very important to me 555 00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:42,164 that she knows that I came to rescue her. 556 00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:43,959 Why? Do you like this woman? 557 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,169 No, I just brought snacks and stuff. 558 00:31:47,272 --> 00:31:49,447 And she gets a little grumpy when she's hungry. 559 00:31:49,551 --> 00:31:52,968 Blood pressure drops. And I get that because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy. 560 00:31:53,071 --> 00:31:55,867 Do you keto, by the way? You look like you keto. 561 00:31:55,971 --> 00:31:57,662 - No. - No. Yeah. 562 00:31:57,766 --> 00:31:59,492 You don't need it. 563 00:31:59,595 --> 00:32:01,079 What is it? 564 00:32:01,183 --> 00:32:04,773 I just want her to think of me as more than a cover model. 565 00:32:04,876 --> 00:32:09,122 But, Alan, you are so much more. You're my lookout. 566 00:32:09,225 --> 00:32:12,574 Okay, can I at least do the part where I put her in the car 567 00:32:12,677 --> 00:32:16,405 and I just go, "Shh. You're safe now"? 568 00:32:17,475 --> 00:32:19,477 Sure, champ. She'll love that. 569 00:32:19,581 --> 00:32:21,445 Oh, you're just going? Going to start? 570 00:32:21,548 --> 00:32:23,964 You're starting the mission now? Okay. 571 00:32:48,161 --> 00:32:50,370 Oh! 572 00:32:59,413 --> 00:33:00,898 Go to sleep. 573 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:30,859 - Alan. - What? 574 00:33:30,962 --> 00:33:32,723 This is a breach of trust, Alan. 575 00:33:32,826 --> 00:33:34,379 I can help. Let me help. 576 00:33:37,762 --> 00:33:40,420 Stay close. Stay alive. 577 00:33:45,287 --> 00:33:46,530 Hey. 578 00:33:51,465 --> 00:33:52,984 Go to sleep. 579 00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:59,473 I got his head. What do I do with his head? I'm just gonna set him down. 580 00:34:05,618 --> 00:34:06,826 No. 581 00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:08,586 Hey, hey, no! 582 00:34:08,690 --> 00:34:09,898 No, no, no! 583 00:34:17,457 --> 00:34:19,286 Ooh, yeah! Ooh. 584 00:34:19,390 --> 00:34:20,356 Ow. 585 00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:22,013 Teamwork, yeah! 586 00:34:22,117 --> 00:34:25,396 Great effort, Alan, but that man was already unconscious. 587 00:34:25,499 --> 00:34:27,191 I was already wound up. 588 00:34:28,123 --> 00:34:30,884 Just don't do it when I'm... 589 00:34:33,956 --> 00:34:35,233 Hi. 590 00:34:37,477 --> 00:34:39,203 Oh! 591 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,102 On your seven! 592 00:34:47,038 --> 00:34:48,108 Oh! 593 00:34:52,906 --> 00:34:54,839 Trainer, he's not asleep! 594 00:34:54,943 --> 00:34:57,117 Stay... Stay down. Stay down. 595 00:34:59,775 --> 00:35:02,295 - You're doing great. - Thanks. 596 00:35:02,398 --> 00:35:03,917 Where you going? 597 00:35:12,063 --> 00:35:13,547 Loretta Sage? 598 00:35:14,031 --> 00:35:14,825 Yes. 599 00:35:14,928 --> 00:35:16,792 I'm getting you out of here. 600 00:35:17,828 --> 00:35:20,865 - Why are you so handsome? - My dad was a weatherman. 601 00:35:23,074 --> 00:35:23,903 A-Alan? 602 00:35:24,006 --> 00:35:26,043 - Yeah. - What are you doing here? 603 00:35:26,146 --> 00:35:28,942 - Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you. - That's not... 604 00:35:29,046 --> 00:35:31,289 - I think he meant "regardless." - Yes. 605 00:35:32,705 --> 00:35:36,674 Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there, Trainer? I think she's fine there. 606 00:35:36,778 --> 00:35:39,953 No, no, leave it. Don't take their stuff. They'll come after us. 607 00:35:42,611 --> 00:35:44,164 Alan, why do you keep doing that? 608 00:35:44,268 --> 00:35:46,235 Why do you keep doing that? I had that one. 609 00:35:46,339 --> 00:35:48,859 It's just getting mean now. It's unnecessary. 610 00:35:48,962 --> 00:35:50,723 I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in. 611 00:35:50,826 --> 00:35:53,118 Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair? 612 00:35:53,142 --> 00:35:53,898 No time. 613 00:35:54,002 --> 00:35:56,418 No time? There's been so much chitchat. 614 00:35:56,521 --> 00:35:57,833 We should definitely go. 615 00:35:57,937 --> 00:35:59,559 Let's go! Let's go! 616 00:36:25,412 --> 00:36:26,551 Why are things exploding? 617 00:36:34,214 --> 00:36:35,250 I got... 618 00:36:36,907 --> 00:36:38,115 Okay. 619 00:36:39,012 --> 00:36:40,289 Shh... 620 00:36:40,393 --> 00:36:42,291 Shh. You're safe now. 621 00:36:42,395 --> 00:36:43,534 You're... 622 00:36:43,637 --> 00:36:45,778 How... How are you so calm? 623 00:36:45,881 --> 00:36:48,366 - That was my... That was my line. - Here. 624 00:36:50,506 --> 00:36:52,405 - What? - Is that Reiki? 625 00:36:52,508 --> 00:36:54,959 - Are you healing me? - I think so. 626 00:36:55,063 --> 00:36:58,273 - Ah. - As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..." 627 00:36:58,376 --> 00:37:01,276 - "...the whole universe surrenders." - Hey, yeah, I know some... 628 00:37:01,379 --> 00:37:04,175 I know some, um, quotes that could be good for this moment. 629 00:37:04,279 --> 00:37:06,005 In omnia paratus. 630 00:37:06,902 --> 00:37:08,766 "Ready for anything." 631 00:37:08,870 --> 00:37:11,527 Maybe we shouldn't be just staring lovingly into each other's eyes 632 00:37:11,631 --> 00:37:15,083 like you're gonna fall in love like I'm not here. 633 00:37:15,635 --> 00:37:16,601 Who are you? 634 00:37:16,705 --> 00:37:19,432 Just a guy trying to do his job. 635 00:37:19,535 --> 00:37:22,331 And right now, that job is to get this lovely lady... 636 00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,678 Oh! Oh. 637 00:37:24,782 --> 00:37:26,680 Oh, God. Okay. 638 00:37:27,854 --> 00:37:30,063 No. What is happening? 639 00:37:33,515 --> 00:37:35,482 Okay. What do we do? 640 00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:37,691 We need to do... I can't see. 641 00:37:37,795 --> 00:37:39,210 I don't like it! 642 00:37:39,314 --> 00:37:40,798 Here. Here! 643 00:37:40,902 --> 00:37:43,352 - Why would you throw a gun? - Seriously? 644 00:37:44,733 --> 00:37:47,563 - Get me out of the chair. - I can't. We don't have time. 645 00:37:51,119 --> 00:37:53,190 Gotta squeeze! You got to do a Kegel or something! 646 00:37:53,293 --> 00:37:55,675 - Kegel it! - What do you think a Kegel is? 647 00:37:55,779 --> 00:37:58,160 I'm not in it, not in! Still not in! 648 00:37:58,264 --> 00:38:00,645 - You got to go in more. - Stop. Stop. Stop it! 649 00:38:00,749 --> 00:38:02,751 Oh, oh, oh! 650 00:38:02,855 --> 00:38:06,375 Oh, God. Get in the car, get in the car! Start the car! Start the car! 651 00:38:06,479 --> 00:38:07,756 - Go, go. - Move your leg. 652 00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:10,172 - Which one? - Both of them! Move them! 653 00:38:13,935 --> 00:38:15,902 - Forward, forward! - Okay. Okay. 654 00:38:16,006 --> 00:38:20,320 - I'm going! I'm going! Okay! - Drive! 655 00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:25,084 Shh. You're safe now. Shh. 656 00:38:26,740 --> 00:38:28,121 Ow. 657 00:38:28,225 --> 00:38:30,365 - Shh. You're safe now. - No, I'm not. Not safe. 658 00:38:30,468 --> 00:38:32,229 Oh, no, am I bleeding? 659 00:38:32,332 --> 00:38:35,335 - I don't think that's yours. - Oh, no, that's a lot of blood. 660 00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:38,476 Cheese and rice! 661 00:38:38,580 --> 00:38:40,064 - Are those his brains? - What? 662 00:38:40,168 --> 00:38:42,135 I think his brains are on my face! 663 00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,863 Definitely his brains are in my mouth. I can taste his thoughts! 664 00:38:45,967 --> 00:38:47,175 Focus on the road. 665 00:38:47,278 --> 00:38:49,418 He just liked training people. Trainer. 666 00:38:49,522 --> 00:38:52,387 - What are you talking about? - He loved me. 667 00:38:52,490 --> 00:38:55,079 Can you just scooch the car over to the left? 668 00:38:55,183 --> 00:38:58,911 - Get it off. Get it off. - Oh, God. 669 00:38:59,014 --> 00:39:00,291 Watch out! 670 00:39:04,502 --> 00:39:07,402 Oh! Oh! Oh! 671 00:39:09,645 --> 00:39:11,406 Oh, did you see... 672 00:39:14,374 --> 00:39:15,410 No. 673 00:39:20,829 --> 00:39:22,141 Oh. 674 00:39:23,590 --> 00:39:25,903 Oh, no. Oh, no. 675 00:39:26,455 --> 00:39:27,940 Oh, no. 676 00:39:36,362 --> 00:39:37,915 Oh, no. 677 00:39:38,605 --> 00:39:40,400 Alan? 678 00:39:40,504 --> 00:39:44,094 Oh, holy Christmas. Are you okay? Are you okay? 679 00:39:44,197 --> 00:39:46,268 Do you think you could get me out of here? 680 00:39:46,372 --> 00:39:47,925 Yeah. Okay. 681 00:39:48,029 --> 00:39:50,928 - You just flew out of the car. - I did. I did, indeed. 682 00:39:51,032 --> 00:39:52,481 Okay. I got you. I got you. 683 00:39:52,585 --> 00:39:55,036 Can you get me out of the chair? Get me out of the chair. 684 00:39:55,139 --> 00:39:56,969 You're right. You're right. You're right. 685 00:39:58,315 --> 00:40:00,144 - Is that... Is that a nail filer? - Yeah. 686 00:40:00,248 --> 00:40:01,732 - Can you just rip it? - It's working. 687 00:40:01,835 --> 00:40:03,630 And maybe next time I toss a gun at you, 688 00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:05,632 you can catch it instead of ducking. 689 00:40:05,736 --> 00:40:08,946 How about the next time you toss a gun at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"? 690 00:40:09,050 --> 00:40:10,914 Then maybe do that before you throw it? 691 00:40:11,017 --> 00:40:13,123 Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch." 692 00:40:13,226 --> 00:40:14,745 No, "here" is not a cinnamon for "catch." 693 00:40:14,848 --> 00:40:16,920 In a colloquial kind of way, yes, it is. 694 00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:19,129 You say, "Here," I toss you a sweatshirt. 695 00:40:19,232 --> 00:40:21,234 You say, "Here," I toss you a pen. 696 00:40:21,338 --> 00:40:24,410 How 'bout just, "Hey! Catch! Gun!" 697 00:40:24,513 --> 00:40:27,516 Anything that you want to throw, I'll catch it because you said, "Catch." 698 00:40:27,620 --> 00:40:29,380 And I'll catch it because you said it. 699 00:40:29,484 --> 00:40:31,900 That is also an option, and then we would have a gun with us. 700 00:40:32,004 --> 00:40:33,108 That's a thing. 701 00:40:33,212 --> 00:40:35,490 - Be careful. - Okay, we need to call... 702 00:40:35,593 --> 00:40:37,250 Be careful. 703 00:40:37,354 --> 00:40:39,873 We need to call for help, get to the airport and get out of here. 704 00:40:39,977 --> 00:40:41,979 And I am driving.Okay. 705 00:40:44,188 --> 00:40:47,053 Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh! 706 00:40:56,787 --> 00:40:59,169 Okay, call for... call for help. 707 00:40:59,272 --> 00:41:01,067 Where's your phone? 708 00:41:04,450 --> 00:41:05,485 Okay. 709 00:41:09,110 --> 00:41:11,940 - Tell me you caught them. - I tagged the blond one. 710 00:41:13,597 --> 00:41:16,427 Oh, Loretta. 711 00:41:16,531 --> 00:41:18,602 What are you thinking? 712 00:41:18,705 --> 00:41:21,812 You might've killed one of them, but his partner's still with her. 713 00:41:21,915 --> 00:41:25,574 And he is clearly skilled, highly trained 714 00:41:26,575 --> 00:41:28,232 and very dangerous. 715 00:41:38,035 --> 00:41:42,108 So, Miss Sage said she was gonna leave the event, 716 00:41:42,212 --> 00:41:46,871 then got in a car and left the event? 717 00:41:46,975 --> 00:41:49,667 - Did you try calling her? - She doesn't have her phone. 718 00:41:49,771 --> 00:41:51,186 - Stolen phone. - Didn't say that. 719 00:41:51,290 --> 00:41:53,050 Where's my magnifier? 720 00:41:53,154 --> 00:41:55,156 Listen, can you please help with Nana? 721 00:41:55,259 --> 00:41:57,641 I don't want her hearing about Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her. 722 00:41:57,744 --> 00:42:00,816 - What about Loretta? - Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip. 723 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,197 Good. Yeah. 724 00:42:02,301 --> 00:42:04,751 That girl needed to get out of the house. 725 00:42:04,855 --> 00:42:09,032 So, this is the thing. Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it. 726 00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:13,588 I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer. 727 00:42:13,691 --> 00:42:15,969 And that is how we found her wearable. 728 00:42:16,073 --> 00:42:17,764 - And who's Alan? - Dash. 729 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:20,698 - What's that? - He's the hero in all of her books. 730 00:42:20,802 --> 00:42:23,839 - Nana. Hey, slut. - Mm-mmm. 731 00:42:23,943 --> 00:42:26,877 Let's go in the other room and talk about whichever war you lived through. 732 00:42:26,980 --> 00:42:30,122 Okay. Come on, it'll be fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun. 733 00:42:30,225 --> 00:42:32,158 Listen, Loretta Sage is missing. 734 00:42:32,262 --> 00:42:34,471 When I looked at her smartwatch, it said that she had flown 735 00:42:34,574 --> 00:42:36,231 to some island I've never even heard about. 736 00:42:36,335 --> 00:42:38,061 That means y'all need to do something about this. 737 00:42:38,164 --> 00:42:40,546 And if you can't, I will, and that won't look good for you. 738 00:42:40,649 --> 00:42:43,376 Pretty sure that's outside our jurisdiction. 739 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,517 - You'd have to call the Feds. - Okay. 740 00:42:46,621 --> 00:42:49,002 And if you do go to the Feds, put in a good word for me. 741 00:42:49,106 --> 00:42:51,488 - For me. - For us. 742 00:42:57,114 --> 00:42:58,633 Oh, oh. 743 00:43:05,674 --> 00:43:07,918 What are you gonna do, put the car back together? 744 00:43:08,021 --> 00:43:10,231 Well... we could... 745 00:43:26,143 --> 00:43:28,835 - Where did you say the phone was? - Passenger glove. 746 00:43:28,939 --> 00:43:30,699 - What? - Passenger glove compartment. 747 00:43:30,803 --> 00:43:32,045 Goodness. 748 00:43:33,150 --> 00:43:34,669 Oh, my God. 749 00:43:34,772 --> 00:43:37,016 Oh, my God. No phone, no car. We're so gonna die out... 750 00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:38,845 - Here. - What is this? 751 00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,606 Boots for the jungle. 752 00:43:41,469 --> 00:43:43,298 It's not exactly hiking boots, but... 753 00:43:43,402 --> 00:43:46,059 I figured your feet would be killing you after wearing heels for this long. 754 00:43:46,163 --> 00:43:48,510 It was the best we could do. They're Allison's. Sorry. 755 00:43:49,304 --> 00:43:51,375 Oh. Okay, well, thank you. 756 00:43:51,479 --> 00:43:53,274 Here, oh, I got you cheese. 757 00:43:53,377 --> 00:43:55,172 - Oh, my God. - You got to stay hydrated. 758 00:43:55,276 --> 00:43:57,243 - Thank you so much. - They didn't have glass bottles, 759 00:43:57,347 --> 00:43:59,349 so we'll definitely hold onto it and recycle. 760 00:44:01,937 --> 00:44:06,632 Okay, so what we need to do is find a phone, we need to call the authorities, 761 00:44:06,735 --> 00:44:09,635 and we need to wait here until somebody comes and rescues us. 762 00:44:09,738 --> 00:44:13,259 Uh... This... This is the rescue. 763 00:44:13,363 --> 00:44:14,640 No one else is coming. 764 00:44:14,743 --> 00:44:16,711 - I'm sorry? - I'm the rescue. 765 00:44:16,814 --> 00:44:19,748 It was originally just gonna be me, then I was like, Trainer should come. 766 00:44:19,852 --> 00:44:21,578 Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace. 767 00:44:21,681 --> 00:44:25,927 So, our best bet is to get to the airport. See this road right here? 768 00:44:26,030 --> 00:44:28,723 From this area, just take a shortcut through the jungle to the road. 769 00:44:28,826 --> 00:44:30,725 Did you just say "shortcut through the jungle"? 770 00:44:30,828 --> 00:44:32,347 - Yeah. - Okay, do you see us? 771 00:44:32,451 --> 00:44:34,970 - Uh-huh. - You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay? 772 00:44:35,074 --> 00:44:36,489 I'm Loretta, and you are Alan. 773 00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:38,905 - And jungles eat people like us, okay? - Eat people. 774 00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:42,323 And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit. It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put. 775 00:44:42,426 --> 00:44:44,359 We're not just gonna stand around here, okay? 776 00:44:44,463 --> 00:44:45,843 We're gonna go through the jungle, 777 00:44:45,947 --> 00:44:48,052 we're gonna go to the airport and find a phone, 778 00:44:48,156 --> 00:44:50,251 so you can have your cake and get what you want. 779 00:44:50,275 --> 00:44:51,159 "And eat it too"? 780 00:44:51,263 --> 00:44:53,713 If that's what you want to do with your cake, fine. Let's go. 781 00:44:53,817 --> 00:44:55,750 - That's the only thing you do with cake. - Not mine. 782 00:44:55,853 --> 00:44:58,304 I don't know what your people do, but my people eat it. 783 00:44:58,408 --> 00:45:00,617 You could give it to someone as a gift. 784 00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,929 Those people are still going to eat the cake. 785 00:45:03,033 --> 00:45:04,586 Everybody eats cake. 786 00:45:04,690 --> 00:45:06,519 What about the kind people jump out of? 787 00:45:06,623 --> 00:45:09,557 - They don't eat it, when they're in it. - Oh, my God. 788 00:45:35,859 --> 00:45:37,447 What did they kidnap you for anyhow? 789 00:45:37,550 --> 00:45:39,414 Is it some weird sex stuff like Taken? 790 00:45:39,518 --> 00:45:41,071 Oh, my God, thank you. 791 00:45:41,174 --> 00:45:43,901 I thought so too, but the guy's one of the Fairfaxes. 792 00:45:44,005 --> 00:45:45,834 - Beverly? - No, the older one. 793 00:45:45,938 --> 00:45:49,390 The really odd one that had the vlog on finding Montezuma's treasure. 794 00:45:49,493 --> 00:45:51,909 The dude that was on the news for trying to raise the Titanic? 795 00:45:52,013 --> 00:45:53,808 Yes, he's looking for the Crown of Fire. 796 00:45:53,911 --> 00:45:57,881 Wait a minute. Like the actual Crown of Fire? Like the one... 797 00:45:57,984 --> 00:46:01,333 - So those ruins were... - They were the Lost City of D, yes. 798 00:46:01,436 --> 00:46:03,749 - What? Are you kidding me right now? - Shh. 799 00:46:03,852 --> 00:46:05,302 This is like your book. 800 00:46:05,406 --> 00:46:08,236 So we're basically on a Lovemore and Dash adventure right now? 801 00:46:08,340 --> 00:46:10,342 What is that? 802 00:46:10,445 --> 00:46:12,930 What if Fairfax actually finds the crown? 803 00:46:13,034 --> 00:46:14,415 He won't. He won't. 804 00:46:16,589 --> 00:46:17,694 - Where do we go? - Uh... 805 00:46:17,797 --> 00:46:19,765 Oh, oh, oh. 806 00:46:22,837 --> 00:46:24,977 Okay, uh, we need to get in the water. 807 00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,186 - W-What? - We need to go by river. 808 00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:29,119 No, no, I don't really do water. 809 00:46:29,222 --> 00:46:31,570 What do you mean, "do water"? I'm not asking you to procreate with it. 810 00:46:31,673 --> 00:46:34,124 Uh, my body and water don't really go together. 811 00:46:34,227 --> 00:46:36,575 How do you feel about dying? Oh, God. 812 00:46:36,678 --> 00:46:38,542 Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You're okay. You're okay. 813 00:46:38,646 --> 00:46:41,476 - I got you. Fine. - I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much. 814 00:46:41,580 --> 00:46:43,651 - Where are you going? - I'm crossing. 815 00:46:43,754 --> 00:46:45,722 No, we have to stay in the water. 816 00:46:45,825 --> 00:46:48,276 I researched aquatic counter-tracking for my book, A Year in the Bush. 817 00:46:48,380 --> 00:46:50,382 They'll lose our tracks in the water. 818 00:46:50,485 --> 00:46:53,281 Why is it warm here? Wait, are you peeing? 819 00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:55,387 Just go around it. 820 00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:25,693 Okay, I think... 821 00:47:25,796 --> 00:47:27,695 I think we lost them, right? 822 00:47:27,798 --> 00:47:30,801 Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah. 823 00:47:30,905 --> 00:47:32,562 Okay, uh... 824 00:47:32,665 --> 00:47:35,081 - Don't panic. - What do you mean, don't panic? 825 00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:36,393 - Just don't panic. - No. 826 00:47:36,497 --> 00:47:38,257 Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now. 827 00:47:38,361 --> 00:47:40,224 You have something on your back. 828 00:47:41,743 --> 00:47:42,537 No! 829 00:47:42,641 --> 00:47:44,125 - Stop screaming. - What is that? 830 00:47:44,228 --> 00:47:45,471 - What is that? - Stop screaming. 831 00:47:45,575 --> 00:47:47,024 - Do you have any on you? - No. No. 832 00:47:47,128 --> 00:47:48,578 Why don't you have any on you? 833 00:47:48,681 --> 00:47:50,476 Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off. I don't know. 834 00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:52,098 - Get 'em off. - Oh, my God. 835 00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:54,722 Okay. No, I can't touch those blood-gorged mucous sacks. 836 00:47:54,825 --> 00:47:56,275 - Can you fling it? - Right now. 837 00:47:56,379 --> 00:47:57,759 - Get it. - Just pick it and fling it. 838 00:47:57,863 --> 00:47:59,761 - Just pick it and fling it. - You pick it and fling it! 839 00:47:59,865 --> 00:48:01,936 - Can you spin it off? - Please, get it off. 840 00:48:02,039 --> 00:48:04,076 I don't like touching it. I'm feeling faint. 841 00:48:04,179 --> 00:48:07,286 - They're sucking my soul out. - Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop. 842 00:48:08,943 --> 00:48:11,186 Don't make that sound. 843 00:48:14,776 --> 00:48:16,260 How many of them are there? 844 00:48:16,364 --> 00:48:17,883 Oh, there's not many. 845 00:48:17,986 --> 00:48:19,988 - It feels like there's so many. - What are you... 846 00:48:20,092 --> 00:48:21,404 - I feel so many. - Oh! 847 00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:24,061 - Holy mother of God! - Why are you praying? 848 00:48:24,165 --> 00:48:27,202 Is it that bad? It can't be that bad. Is it that bad? How many? 849 00:48:27,306 --> 00:48:28,549 It's not great. 850 00:48:28,652 --> 00:48:30,309 They're gonna suck every bit of me out. 851 00:48:30,413 --> 00:48:33,070 Just please stop speaking. I just need to... need to get low. 852 00:48:33,174 --> 00:48:34,900 Hold on a second. 853 00:48:35,003 --> 00:48:37,799 Oh, God! I can feel them just... they're just sucking out so much. 854 00:48:37,903 --> 00:48:40,768 I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up skin sack when they're done. 855 00:48:40,871 --> 00:48:42,839 You cannot tell my dad I died this way, okay? 856 00:48:42,942 --> 00:48:46,981 You gotta tell him I was wrestling an anaconda with a sword or something. 857 00:48:47,084 --> 00:48:49,880 I'm like a blood Jamba Juice. They're just sucking it all out. 858 00:48:49,984 --> 00:48:51,606 Why are they all on my butt though? 859 00:48:51,710 --> 00:48:54,333 Kind of like picking anchovies off my Caesar salad. 860 00:48:54,437 --> 00:48:56,162 - It's actually not so bad. - Anchovies? 861 00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:57,854 Why do you go to food right now? 862 00:48:57,957 --> 00:49:00,822 Just find the queen, and let's be done with this. 863 00:49:00,926 --> 00:49:03,273 Think you're good. I need to just check your front. 864 00:49:03,376 --> 00:49:05,620 Okay. I can't look. 865 00:49:07,864 --> 00:49:09,175 Is it bad? 866 00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:12,385 - Uh, wow. - What is it? Just say it. 867 00:49:12,489 --> 00:49:15,837 I mean, you expect it to, you know, not... 868 00:49:15,941 --> 00:49:18,668 Then suddenly there it is, and it is, uh... 869 00:49:18,771 --> 00:49:21,015 - You know, you get excited for a person. - What? 870 00:49:21,118 --> 00:49:23,742 - I mean, I'm excited for all people. - Why are you excited? 871 00:49:23,845 --> 00:49:26,158 Well, you know, people wonder, they wonder, 872 00:49:26,261 --> 00:49:27,884 but they don't know, right? 873 00:49:27,987 --> 00:49:30,473 They don't, until suddenly they do know, 874 00:49:30,576 --> 00:49:34,891 and then they... they know something that wasn't known before. 875 00:49:34,994 --> 00:49:36,858 Just... Do I have any leeches or not? 876 00:49:36,962 --> 00:49:41,069 Oh, your plucky warrior hangs in tranquil solitude. 877 00:49:41,173 --> 00:49:42,277 What? 878 00:49:42,381 --> 00:49:44,521 No, you're good. You're good. 879 00:49:45,660 --> 00:49:47,386 We were so brave just then. 880 00:49:47,490 --> 00:49:49,733 Why do they go for the butt so much? 881 00:50:11,030 --> 00:50:13,895 What's that song you're singing? 882 00:50:13,999 --> 00:50:17,002 A song my abbi used to sing to me when I was a kid. 883 00:50:17,968 --> 00:50:20,626 "If you suck life from the island... 884 00:50:20,730 --> 00:50:23,526 ...the island will suck of you." 885 00:50:23,629 --> 00:50:27,564 Your grandma sang you songs about getting sucked off by an island? 886 00:50:27,668 --> 00:50:30,015 It doesn't translate super well. 887 00:50:30,912 --> 00:50:33,743 Is phantom leech syndrome, like, a thing? 888 00:50:33,846 --> 00:50:35,848 They don't lay eggs, do they? 889 00:51:24,966 --> 00:51:26,174 Queen Taha? 890 00:51:39,774 --> 00:51:44,158 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest..." 891 00:51:45,090 --> 00:51:48,749 laid to rest in the well of endless tears. 892 00:51:48,852 --> 00:51:50,785 "Laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 893 00:51:50,889 --> 00:51:52,753 - What does that mean? - Loretta! 894 00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:55,169 You gave me a heart attack. 895 00:51:55,859 --> 00:51:57,516 Where'd you go? 896 00:52:01,589 --> 00:52:03,142 What is this? 897 00:52:03,246 --> 00:52:06,490 I'm not sure, but maybe they gathered here? 898 00:52:09,045 --> 00:52:11,703 Can you imagine being right here, 899 00:52:11,806 --> 00:52:14,464 right in this very spot back then? 900 00:52:14,567 --> 00:52:16,293 The stories that they told? 901 00:52:16,397 --> 00:52:19,158 So much history I'm sure happened right here. 902 00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:25,855 They've got us cornered. 903 00:52:25,958 --> 00:52:27,650 - Okay. We've got to go up. Come on. - What? 904 00:52:27,753 --> 00:52:30,860 Have you seen what I'm wearing? I'm in a glitter straitjacket. 905 00:52:30,963 --> 00:52:33,932 There's nowhere to go but up. Come on. Let's go. 906 00:52:34,035 --> 00:52:37,590 Oh! I should not be doing this. I'm too old for this. 907 00:52:37,694 --> 00:52:38,799 No, you're not. You're beautiful. 908 00:52:38,902 --> 00:52:40,559 I didn't say I'm not beautiful. 909 00:52:40,663 --> 00:52:42,561 I said I'm too old to be doing this. 910 00:52:42,665 --> 00:52:46,289 My skill is sitting and thinking and eating when I can't think. 911 00:52:46,392 --> 00:52:48,809 Yeah, you definitely could be wearing better shoes for this. 912 00:52:48,912 --> 00:52:50,811 You brought me these shoes. 913 00:52:50,914 --> 00:52:53,468 I can't go any further. I can't go any further. 914 00:52:53,572 --> 00:52:55,298 I'm not doing so great here. 915 00:52:55,401 --> 00:52:56,817 You got it. Come on. 916 00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,784 I know you think that you're safer holding on, 917 00:52:58,888 --> 00:53:00,165 but you have to keep going. 918 00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:02,167 - I can't. I can't, I can't. - Okay? 919 00:53:02,961 --> 00:53:04,410 - Do you smell that? - Smell what? 920 00:53:04,514 --> 00:53:06,274 - I smell something. - Is it a predator? What is it? 921 00:53:06,378 --> 00:53:08,311 - A downward cascading fire? - You got to smell deeper. 922 00:53:08,414 --> 00:53:09,588 I don't smell anything! 923 00:53:13,005 --> 00:53:16,250 Take a big, deep breath. 924 00:53:16,353 --> 00:53:17,665 All right. 925 00:53:17,769 --> 00:53:19,391 Good job.Okay. 926 00:53:19,494 --> 00:53:23,119 - That was manipulative. Thank you. - Yeah, it was. 927 00:53:23,222 --> 00:53:25,708 Here we go. I'm gonna help you out a little bit, all right? 928 00:53:25,811 --> 00:53:27,882 - One, two, three... Here we go! - What are you doing? 929 00:53:27,986 --> 00:53:29,366 - Get out of there. - Come on. 930 00:53:29,470 --> 00:53:31,541 - No, no, don't flex. - That's my hoo-hoo. 931 00:53:31,644 --> 00:53:34,578 Just ride the head. Keep the hands moving and ride the head. 932 00:53:34,682 --> 00:53:35,994 - Oh, God. - You're doing great. 933 00:53:36,097 --> 00:53:38,755 Sorry about the scratchy haircut. Come on. 934 00:53:58,844 --> 00:54:01,088 Dulcius ex asperis. 935 00:54:01,674 --> 00:54:03,055 What was that? 936 00:54:03,159 --> 00:54:04,677 Oh, nothing. 937 00:54:04,781 --> 00:54:07,025 It was just something that John and I would say 938 00:54:07,128 --> 00:54:10,269 after we finished something big, like a... 939 00:54:10,373 --> 00:54:12,340 like an archaeological dig or a manuscript. 940 00:54:12,444 --> 00:54:15,758 It's Latin. It means "sweeter after difficulty." 941 00:54:16,897 --> 00:54:18,277 What's... 942 00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:20,314 What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"? 943 00:54:20,417 --> 00:54:24,905 I am a badass. I climbed a mountain. 944 00:54:25,008 --> 00:54:27,977 Oh, my God. I wish Beth could've seen us do this. 945 00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,911 - Oh, God. Beth. - Don't worry about Beth. 946 00:54:31,014 --> 00:54:34,500 She's probably got the whole navy after us right now. 947 00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:37,676 I get that you think you have to go to the island authorities yourself, 948 00:54:37,780 --> 00:54:41,197 but don't worry, I'm keeping Loretta's socials super active. 949 00:54:41,300 --> 00:54:43,682 Just tweeted, "Did I just get kidnapped? 950 00:54:43,786 --> 00:54:47,306 #FML, @ShawnMendes, #ShawnMendes." 951 00:54:47,410 --> 00:54:49,067 And you're traveling alone? 952 00:54:49,170 --> 00:54:52,001 Yes, I'm traveling alone. Mm-hmm. I'm single. 953 00:54:52,587 --> 00:54:53,796 Then this might work. 954 00:54:53,899 --> 00:54:55,728 - Okay! Talk to me. - You'll hit New York. 955 00:54:55,832 --> 00:54:59,353 From there, you'll fly to Guinea, where you can pick up a puddle jumper. 956 00:54:59,456 --> 00:55:00,526 A what? 957 00:55:01,458 --> 00:55:02,943 - Small plane. - Yeah, no leg room. 958 00:55:03,046 --> 00:55:04,220 That's fine. I'll take it. 959 00:55:04,323 --> 00:55:06,360 - Or you could just come home. - Thank you. 960 00:55:14,230 --> 00:55:16,715 We need something more flammable. Everything is just so wet. 961 00:55:16,819 --> 00:55:18,337 What's in here? What's in your bag? 962 00:55:18,441 --> 00:55:20,305 - Uh... - Oh, a lot. Okay. 963 00:55:20,408 --> 00:55:21,858 What are you doing? 964 00:55:21,962 --> 00:55:23,826 Okay. Face masks. 965 00:55:23,929 --> 00:55:25,344 Yeah, that was like a gift-basket thing. 966 00:55:25,448 --> 00:55:27,415 You brought a scented candle into the jungle? 967 00:55:27,519 --> 00:55:28,796 My mom gave me that. 968 00:55:28,900 --> 00:55:30,453 It was like a weird gift for Mother's Day. 969 00:55:30,556 --> 00:55:32,835 Your mom gives you gifts for Mother's Day? 970 00:55:34,146 --> 00:55:34,940 Noir... 971 00:55:35,044 --> 00:55:37,011 Eucalyptus rosemary oil. Ooh. 972 00:55:37,598 --> 00:55:38,875 Oh, that smells good. 973 00:55:38,979 --> 00:55:41,153 Um... Oh, okay. All right. 974 00:55:41,257 --> 00:55:42,879 Whoo! Yes! 975 00:55:42,983 --> 00:55:45,433 Yes, I made fire! 976 00:55:45,537 --> 00:55:49,092 - That's pretty impressive. You have to... - It is a beautiful fire. 977 00:55:49,196 --> 00:55:51,129 Who would have thought? 978 00:55:51,232 --> 00:55:53,717 Oh, you're just, um, taking your shirt off? 979 00:55:54,822 --> 00:55:56,859 That looks really uncomfortable. 980 00:55:56,962 --> 00:55:58,861 Are you okay? The back? 981 00:55:58,964 --> 00:56:03,037 Yeah. That is why I don't do water. 982 00:56:03,141 --> 00:56:05,419 - Okay. - My body becomes an eighth-grader's face. 983 00:56:05,522 --> 00:56:08,387 Do you have anything for it? Like some ointment or something? 984 00:56:08,491 --> 00:56:10,389 Yeah, I do. Well, I did. 985 00:56:10,493 --> 00:56:12,564 It was in a little, tiny little bottle. 986 00:56:12,667 --> 00:56:14,635 It was this. I'm sorry. 987 00:56:14,738 --> 00:56:16,775 Oh, God, I'm sorry. 988 00:56:16,879 --> 00:56:18,225 It's okay. 989 00:56:18,328 --> 00:56:20,641 - Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here. - What? 990 00:56:20,744 --> 00:56:23,161 - Come here. Sit down. - Let me see. 991 00:56:23,264 --> 00:56:24,748 - Just sit down. - Right here? 992 00:56:24,852 --> 00:56:26,060 Yeah. 993 00:56:27,268 --> 00:56:28,891 Okay. 994 00:56:28,994 --> 00:56:30,858 Oh, no, you don't have to touch it. It's okay. It's fine. 995 00:56:30,962 --> 00:56:32,964 I touched your engorged sacks, so... 996 00:56:35,173 --> 00:56:36,899 - The leeches. - Oh, okay. 997 00:56:37,002 --> 00:56:39,798 Okay, this might be a little bit cold. 998 00:56:40,972 --> 00:56:42,697 - Sorry. - Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 999 00:56:42,801 --> 00:56:44,078 Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1000 00:56:44,182 --> 00:56:46,149 Maybe this is how Dash should die. 1001 00:56:46,253 --> 00:56:49,290 Horrible eczema outbreak. That's so sexy. 1002 00:56:49,394 --> 00:56:50,913 I could make it work. 1003 00:56:51,361 --> 00:56:52,397 Yeah? 1004 00:56:53,053 --> 00:56:54,502 All right, then. 1005 00:56:55,779 --> 00:56:57,505 How would you write this? 1006 00:56:57,609 --> 00:56:59,093 Okay. 1007 00:57:00,992 --> 00:57:04,305 "Warmed by the fragrant fire..." 1008 00:57:04,409 --> 00:57:06,859 Mm-hmm. 1009 00:57:06,963 --> 00:57:08,861 Starting strong.Mm-hmm. 1010 00:57:08,965 --> 00:57:12,072 "Lovemore's hands explored the..." 1011 00:57:13,832 --> 00:57:16,317 The contoured scenery 1012 00:57:16,421 --> 00:57:18,009 of Dash's body. 1013 00:57:20,149 --> 00:57:22,841 Familiar terrain made 1014 00:57:22,945 --> 00:57:25,292 new and exciting with every... 1015 00:57:26,224 --> 00:57:28,571 "with every scarlet rim." 1016 00:57:29,675 --> 00:57:31,367 And that didn't, uh... 1017 00:57:32,195 --> 00:57:33,714 didn't turn her off? 1018 00:57:33,817 --> 00:57:35,026 No. 1019 00:57:35,854 --> 00:57:37,683 "Because with every cardinal ridge, 1020 00:57:38,684 --> 00:57:41,101 Lovemore discovered another letter in the language 1021 00:57:41,204 --> 00:57:43,310 "that only their bodies spoke." 1022 00:57:44,345 --> 00:57:46,382 And what were their bodies saying? 1023 00:57:48,349 --> 00:57:49,902 "Take me..." 1024 00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:53,423 Take me, 1025 00:57:54,010 --> 00:57:55,701 "take me." 1026 00:57:55,805 --> 00:57:57,117 How's that? 1027 00:57:57,945 --> 00:57:59,222 It was good. 1028 00:57:59,326 --> 00:58:01,052 - Your back. I mean, how is your back? - Good. 1029 00:58:01,155 --> 00:58:02,570 - Okay. You sure? - Yeah. 1030 00:58:02,674 --> 00:58:07,230 - I also meant my back. Right there, yeah. - Okay. 1031 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,515 Supplies. 1032 00:58:18,655 --> 00:58:22,935 Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna probably turn in in a little bit. 1033 00:58:23,039 --> 00:58:24,247 - Okay. - You good? 1034 00:58:24,351 --> 00:58:27,009 Yeah, I'm fire... fine. I'm fine. 1035 00:58:27,112 --> 00:58:30,046 I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire. 1036 00:58:30,736 --> 00:58:32,462 Okay. All right. 1037 00:58:40,367 --> 00:58:43,680 Uh, it's up to you, but if you're cold, 1038 00:58:43,784 --> 00:58:47,995 maybe we could probably both fit in here, if you wanted to. 1039 00:58:48,651 --> 00:58:50,377 Both of us? 1040 00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:53,518 - Only if you want to. I mean, it's just... - Yeah, no, that sounds... 1041 00:58:53,621 --> 00:58:55,106 Uh... 1042 00:58:55,209 --> 00:58:56,590 Okay. How do you... 1043 00:58:56,693 --> 00:58:58,661 You can go first, then I'll figure it out. 1044 00:58:58,764 --> 00:59:01,905 No, no, you go. It's definitely a "ladies first" type of situation. 1045 00:59:02,009 --> 00:59:04,667 - Keep hands out of the bag at all times. - That's what I was gonna do. 1046 00:59:04,770 --> 00:59:06,427 - Butt to butt. - Hands out and butt to butt. 1047 00:59:06,531 --> 00:59:09,844 - Yeah. What do I do? - Just get in. Go ahead and sit. 1048 00:59:09,948 --> 00:59:12,640 I sit first? Okay. I'm in. 1049 00:59:14,194 --> 00:59:16,782 You're too heavy. You're gonna flip this thing like a cruise ship. 1050 00:59:16,886 --> 00:59:19,544 You watch yourself. Hold on. I'm not in. 1051 00:59:19,647 --> 00:59:22,823 Why is this engaging my core so much? 1052 00:59:23,617 --> 00:59:25,515 How 'bout you shimmy? 1053 00:59:25,619 --> 00:59:27,724 - I can't breathe. I'm not breathing. - Are you good? 1054 00:59:27,828 --> 00:59:29,140 My face. 1055 00:59:29,726 --> 00:59:30,969 Yeah. Okay. 1056 00:59:34,076 --> 00:59:35,560 Hands are out. Butt to butt. 1057 00:59:35,663 --> 00:59:36,699 Okay. 1058 01:00:07,902 --> 01:00:09,490 Well! 1059 01:00:09,594 --> 01:00:10,733 Come on. 1060 01:00:10,836 --> 01:00:12,493 Come on! Let's hear it! 1061 01:00:12,597 --> 01:00:16,083 Let's give a nice round of applause to Loretta! 1062 01:00:16,187 --> 01:00:17,809 She earned it. 1063 01:00:17,912 --> 01:00:21,778 A geriatric shut-in left you holding your dicks in the jungle. 1064 01:00:21,882 --> 01:00:23,263 Good job, Loretta. 1065 01:00:23,366 --> 01:00:25,886 Boss, come on. People are dying now. 1066 01:00:25,989 --> 01:00:29,648 Don't you think that maybe this has all gone too far? 1067 01:00:30,891 --> 01:00:32,617 Is it really worth it? 1068 01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:36,103 I am on the cusp of attaining the unattainable. 1069 01:00:36,207 --> 01:00:39,210 Something singular, something no nation, 1070 01:00:39,313 --> 01:00:42,903 no emperor, no brownnosing brothers ever have. 1071 01:00:43,006 --> 01:00:46,113 The legendary Crown of Fire. 1072 01:00:46,562 --> 01:00:47,701 So, yes. 1073 01:00:47,804 --> 01:00:50,117 Yes, I would definitely say it's worth it. 1074 01:00:59,851 --> 01:01:01,370 Excuse me! 1075 01:01:01,473 --> 01:01:04,373 Excuse me, sir. I need to get to my next connecting flight. 1076 01:01:04,476 --> 01:01:05,822 No flight. 1077 01:01:05,926 --> 01:01:08,515 The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow. 1078 01:01:08,618 --> 01:01:10,758 No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow. I need to do this today. 1079 01:01:10,862 --> 01:01:15,591 I need to get to the island Isla Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake. 1080 01:01:15,694 --> 01:01:17,179 Come tomorrow. 1081 01:01:21,010 --> 01:01:22,701 - Excuse me, miss? - Yes? 1082 01:01:22,805 --> 01:01:26,878 I couldn't help but overhear you say that you like steak. 1083 01:01:26,981 --> 01:01:30,261 Okay, this is a little bit crazy, 1084 01:01:30,364 --> 01:01:32,159 but I also like steak. 1085 01:01:32,263 --> 01:01:34,610 - What? - I also like steak. 1086 01:01:34,713 --> 01:01:38,165 Would you like to, maybe, I don't know... 1087 01:01:38,269 --> 01:01:41,099 - Maybe there's a... - No. "Lives are at stake." 1088 01:01:41,203 --> 01:01:42,963 I need to go to the island tonight. 1089 01:01:43,066 --> 01:01:44,482 - Ah. - Yes. 1090 01:01:44,585 --> 01:01:46,173 - Even more serious. - Extremely. 1091 01:01:46,277 --> 01:01:49,280 Well, I believe that I may be able to assist you. 1092 01:01:49,383 --> 01:01:51,316 I have a cargo plane. 1093 01:01:52,490 --> 01:01:56,183 Maybe after I make my delivery, we could swing by your island. 1094 01:01:56,287 --> 01:01:59,082 I'm about to ask you something, and you better tell me the truth. 1095 01:01:59,186 --> 01:02:01,050 Have you ever murdered anyone before? 1096 01:02:01,153 --> 01:02:04,398 No! 1097 01:02:07,988 --> 01:02:10,715 I don't know if I really buy it, but let me tell you something. 1098 01:02:10,818 --> 01:02:15,064 If you ever think about murdering me, I promise, I will murder you first. 1099 01:02:15,167 --> 01:02:16,514 My pleasure. 1100 01:02:16,617 --> 01:02:18,757 You are weird. Let's go. 1101 01:03:14,157 --> 01:03:17,575 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well 1102 01:03:18,230 --> 01:03:19,646 of endless tears." 1103 01:03:21,337 --> 01:03:22,511 What is that? 1104 01:03:23,684 --> 01:03:27,136 Oh, it's a... it's a thing. I mean, it's not, uh... 1105 01:03:27,239 --> 01:03:29,483 You know, it's not what you think it is. 1106 01:03:29,587 --> 01:03:33,384 So it's not Fairfax's fragment of an ancient parchment? 1107 01:03:33,487 --> 01:03:37,284 Okay. It's what you think it is. 1108 01:03:37,388 --> 01:03:38,837 Loretta, I thought you were smarter than that. 1109 01:03:38,941 --> 01:03:41,737 Fairfax is never gonna stop hunting us now. 1110 01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:42,841 What were you thinking? 1111 01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:44,912 We have a volcano that could bury the tomb 1112 01:03:45,016 --> 01:03:48,571 before we get to it, before we see it, before we preserve its memory. 1113 01:03:48,675 --> 01:03:50,608 - This is... - I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing? 1114 01:03:50,711 --> 01:03:53,231 'Cause no one told me. When were you gonna tell me? 1115 01:03:53,335 --> 01:03:54,750 Why would I tell you? 1116 01:03:54,853 --> 01:03:56,683 We're in this together. I came here to rescue you. 1117 01:03:56,786 --> 01:03:58,478 You know you're not Dash, right? 1118 01:03:58,581 --> 01:04:00,825 You don't ride in on a white horse to rescue people. 1119 01:04:00,928 --> 01:04:05,208 You... spray yourself with bronzer and you stand in front of wind machines, 1120 01:04:05,312 --> 01:04:06,831 which is great for you. 1121 01:04:06,934 --> 01:04:09,592 How would you have any idea what I'm actually like? 1122 01:04:09,696 --> 01:04:12,630 I know you. You're a pretty open book, Alan. 1123 01:04:12,733 --> 01:04:14,528 - Okay, then who am I? - Really? 1124 01:04:14,632 --> 01:04:15,667 Yeah. 1125 01:04:17,738 --> 01:04:19,947 O... Okay, uh... 1126 01:04:20,051 --> 01:04:23,157 You were a homecoming king and you coasted on your good looks to LA, 1127 01:04:23,261 --> 01:04:25,781 but then realized that being the most handsome kid in the middle of nowhere 1128 01:04:25,884 --> 01:04:27,610 doesn't mean you're going to be a star. 1129 01:04:27,714 --> 01:04:29,543 Until one day, when a woman who couldn't publish her book 1130 01:04:29,647 --> 01:04:33,236 on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic decided to write a romance novel, 1131 01:04:33,340 --> 01:04:35,273 uh, chose you at random to be on the cover. 1132 01:04:35,377 --> 01:04:38,794 Lucky for you and her, the novels were a smashing success. 1133 01:04:38,897 --> 01:04:41,900 She kept writing her schlock, you kept posing, 1134 01:04:42,004 --> 01:04:47,458 um, you know, neither one of us becoming who we'd hoped we would be. 1135 01:04:47,561 --> 01:04:51,669 Uh, and then one day, we both die in the jungle 1136 01:04:51,772 --> 01:04:55,673 on one of those Atlantic islands I wrote about all those years ago. 1137 01:04:55,776 --> 01:04:56,812 Right? 1138 01:04:58,158 --> 01:04:59,470 Mm-hmm. 1139 01:05:10,757 --> 01:05:12,483 It was Sarasota, by the way. 1140 01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,588 It's not nowhere. 1141 01:05:14,692 --> 01:05:16,935 I grew up there with my mom and two sisters. 1142 01:05:17,039 --> 01:05:18,074 And yeah... 1143 01:05:19,075 --> 01:05:21,768 I started modeling 'cause I wanted to get away. 1144 01:05:21,871 --> 01:05:23,804 It was the only job that I could think of 1145 01:05:23,908 --> 01:05:27,152 that could take me to all of the places that I always dreamed of going. 1146 01:05:27,256 --> 01:05:28,568 Then finally to Los Angeles, 1147 01:05:28,671 --> 01:05:31,433 where I posed on the cover of your romance novel. 1148 01:05:31,536 --> 01:05:34,436 And I was so embarrassed that one of my friends might've seen me 1149 01:05:34,539 --> 01:05:36,679 in that wig on the cover of your book 1150 01:05:36,783 --> 01:05:39,441 that I avoided talking to them for months. 1151 01:05:40,407 --> 01:05:41,891 And then one day, 1152 01:05:42,616 --> 01:05:44,480 I'm walking home, 1153 01:05:44,584 --> 01:05:47,379 and I hear this lady yell, "Dash!" 1154 01:05:47,483 --> 01:05:50,003 She runs up, and she is so happy. 1155 01:05:50,106 --> 01:05:53,869 Then I thought, "How could I be this embarrassed 1156 01:05:53,972 --> 01:05:56,665 about something that makes people this happy?" 1157 01:06:00,013 --> 01:06:01,704 Loretta, you can do whatever you want. 1158 01:06:01,808 --> 01:06:03,913 If you don't want to write anymore, don't write. 1159 01:06:04,017 --> 01:06:08,504 But don't minimize the people that love your work by calling it schlock. 1160 01:06:08,608 --> 01:06:11,162 That's not fair to them. 1161 01:06:12,370 --> 01:06:15,269 You know what's ironic? I thought you of all people would know 1162 01:06:15,373 --> 01:06:17,824 not to judge a book by its cover. 1163 01:06:21,897 --> 01:06:24,486 Judge a book by its cover model. 1164 01:06:55,965 --> 01:06:57,139 Alan? 1165 01:06:57,242 --> 01:06:58,520 Alan. 1166 01:07:10,497 --> 01:07:11,843 There's two of them. 1167 01:07:17,953 --> 01:07:20,645 - Loretta! I'm over here! - Alan! 1168 01:07:21,715 --> 01:07:24,787 Alan! Motorcycles and guns, motorcycles and guns! 1169 01:07:24,891 --> 01:07:27,031 Come on, this way! 1170 01:07:27,134 --> 01:07:28,757 Stop shooting! 1171 01:07:34,003 --> 01:07:35,971 - Just give 'em the parchment! - I can't. 1172 01:07:36,074 --> 01:07:38,732 Yes, you can, actually. You just say, "Here," and throw it at 'em. 1173 01:07:38,836 --> 01:07:41,148 Right. And then I'm sure they'll happily let us go. 1174 01:07:41,252 --> 01:07:43,254 - Okay, keep down. - How do they keep finding us? 1175 01:07:43,357 --> 01:07:45,843 - You're basically a walking disco ball. - We need to come up with a plan. 1176 01:07:45,946 --> 01:07:47,016 I have an idea. 1177 01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:48,570 We're gonna dig a hole, throw our voices. 1178 01:07:48,673 --> 01:07:50,606 "We're over here." Can you sound like a bird? 1179 01:07:50,710 --> 01:07:53,022 - No, I have a plan. - Alan, please, I'm thinking. 1180 01:07:53,126 --> 01:07:56,819 - I know, but I have a plan. - Please, just let me think about... 1181 01:07:56,923 --> 01:08:00,547 - Wait a minute. They're shooting at you. - Yeah, that's why we're hiding. 1182 01:08:00,651 --> 01:08:02,963 No. No, no, no. They're shooting only at you. 1183 01:08:03,067 --> 01:08:05,587 They won't shoot me. It's my brain that's valuable. 1184 01:08:05,690 --> 01:08:09,556 What? I don't think you actually hear the things you say sometimes. 1185 01:08:09,660 --> 01:08:12,352 - Maybe I can shield you. - You are not shielding me. 1186 01:08:12,455 --> 01:08:14,699 - I should be shielding you. - Why? Because I'm a woman? 1187 01:08:14,803 --> 01:08:17,875 - That's supremely sexist. - Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields 1188 01:08:17,978 --> 01:08:20,705 is exactly the change that Gloria Seinfeld had in mind, do you? 1189 01:08:20,809 --> 01:08:23,639 - Gloria Steinem? - Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine. 1190 01:08:23,743 --> 01:08:26,815 - Please mansplain sexism to me right now. - Oh, my God. I am a woman. 1191 01:08:26,918 --> 01:08:29,024 I can't mansplain anything. 1192 01:08:29,127 --> 01:08:33,856 Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do. 1193 01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:36,410 - We just need to stay here until they get tired. - I have an idea. 1194 01:08:36,514 --> 01:08:38,205 - Please can I tell you my plan? - Alan! 1195 01:08:38,309 --> 01:08:41,623 This is not a situation you can get out of by ripping your shirt off. 1196 01:08:41,726 --> 01:08:43,659 Not my shirt. 1197 01:09:15,104 --> 01:09:16,416 Three! 1198 01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:18,107 - Yes! - Oh! 1199 01:09:22,215 --> 01:09:24,079 Oh. 1200 01:09:24,182 --> 01:09:27,427 That was different than I had in my head. 1201 01:09:27,530 --> 01:09:31,603 - I just wanted us to stop them. - Could it have been the wind that made it do that? 1202 01:09:31,707 --> 01:09:33,813 No, I think it was us. I think... we did it. 1203 01:09:33,916 --> 01:09:36,332 We did the one guy, right? But that was, like... 1204 01:09:36,436 --> 01:09:39,784 We just wanted him to stop. But I think the other guy could've moved, really. 1205 01:09:39,888 --> 01:09:42,028 So, that was... that one was on him. 1206 01:09:42,131 --> 01:09:44,996 Even if we weren't here, that could've happened. 1207 01:09:45,100 --> 01:09:46,826 Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff? 1208 01:09:46,929 --> 01:09:49,380 They were wearing helmets, so maybe they're... 1209 01:09:49,483 --> 01:09:51,658 But the rest of their body didn't have a helmet. 1210 01:09:51,762 --> 01:09:52,970 So there'd just be a head. 1211 01:09:53,073 --> 01:09:55,351 They were driving recklessly, right? 1212 01:09:55,455 --> 01:09:57,181 Don't be mean on a bike. 1213 01:09:57,871 --> 01:09:59,631 Don't do mean stuff on a bike. 1214 01:10:03,428 --> 01:10:05,672 I mean, perhaps they're fine. 1215 01:10:05,776 --> 01:10:08,192 Yeah, probably not. But that's okay. 1216 01:10:08,295 --> 01:10:12,575 That's all right. You know, things happen. Let's go. 1217 01:10:14,785 --> 01:10:17,960 - You gonna put it back together? - It's on loan. 1218 01:10:30,766 --> 01:10:33,079 - Look at me. - Okay. 1219 01:10:33,976 --> 01:10:36,013 What more can I do, you know? 1220 01:10:36,116 --> 01:10:38,049 You've done so much already, Beth. 1221 01:10:38,153 --> 01:10:41,190 My poor, sweet, little Nana has lost her sight. 1222 01:10:41,294 --> 01:10:44,021 The book release is a complete disaster, 1223 01:10:44,124 --> 01:10:45,781 which I've leveraged everything on, 1224 01:10:45,885 --> 01:10:48,232 so I'm probably, most definitely broke right now. 1225 01:10:48,335 --> 01:10:51,580 And most importantly, I've lost a writer. 1226 01:10:51,683 --> 01:10:53,237 Who does that? Who loses a writer? 1227 01:10:53,340 --> 01:10:57,862 Okay, Beth, you remind me of my best friend, Randy. 1228 01:10:57,966 --> 01:11:00,451 Always looking out for other people, 1229 01:11:00,554 --> 01:11:02,902 never taking care of herself. 1230 01:11:03,903 --> 01:11:05,318 Isn't that right, Randy? 1231 01:11:07,838 --> 01:11:09,701 She's like my therapist, this one over here. 1232 01:11:09,805 --> 01:11:11,911 LOL. "Laughing Out Loud." 1233 01:11:12,014 --> 01:11:13,982 After you take care of your friend, 1234 01:11:14,879 --> 01:11:16,225 how about we go to a beach? 1235 01:11:16,329 --> 01:11:18,814 - What? - Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii. 1236 01:11:18,918 --> 01:11:20,885 She doesn't have to come. 1237 01:11:20,989 --> 01:11:23,785 Okay! Okay, you can come! 1238 01:11:23,888 --> 01:11:25,890 She's hilarious. 1239 01:11:26,684 --> 01:11:28,513 Let me ask you something. 1240 01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:30,722 We're all sitting here chitchatting, but who's flying the plane? 1241 01:11:30,826 --> 01:11:32,759 - Autopilot. - What? 1242 01:11:32,863 --> 01:11:35,589 Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane. 1243 01:11:36,038 --> 01:11:37,039 Okay. 1244 01:11:37,799 --> 01:11:39,559 I'm going to go land the plane. 1245 01:11:39,662 --> 01:11:41,112 Okay. 1246 01:11:41,216 --> 01:11:43,114 No, no, no. Take the goat. Please, take the goat. 1247 01:11:43,218 --> 01:11:45,876 She's on break. Enjoy the flight! 1248 01:12:21,290 --> 01:12:22,636 - Hi. - Hola. 1249 01:12:27,089 --> 01:12:29,781 This English dude came in and basically kidnapped her. 1250 01:12:31,922 --> 01:12:35,235 Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message, and I'll get right back to you. 1251 01:12:35,339 --> 01:12:38,204 Uh, hi, Beth. 1252 01:12:38,307 --> 01:12:39,308 It's me. 1253 01:12:39,412 --> 01:12:41,241 Uh, I'm alive! 1254 01:12:41,966 --> 01:12:44,003 Uh, listen, um... 1255 01:12:45,314 --> 01:12:46,350 Uh... 1256 01:12:47,799 --> 01:12:51,907 I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour. 1257 01:12:52,011 --> 01:12:53,736 Um... 1258 01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:56,222 I was just afraid 1259 01:12:57,361 --> 01:12:59,018 and selfish. Uh... 1260 01:12:59,121 --> 01:13:01,848 Oh, here comes Alan. I'll call you back. 1261 01:13:05,024 --> 01:13:08,027 So, uh, police are searching for Fairfax, 1262 01:13:08,130 --> 01:13:10,581 and they're gonna provide us protection while we're here. 1263 01:13:10,684 --> 01:13:12,514 Did they say how long we'd be here? 1264 01:13:12,617 --> 01:13:15,275 They're gonna try to get us on a puddle jumper later this evening. 1265 01:13:15,379 --> 01:13:17,588 But, uh, they said in the meantime, the inn is really nice, 1266 01:13:17,691 --> 01:13:20,280 and we can get cleaned up and maybe a change of clothes. 1267 01:13:20,384 --> 01:13:21,799 Okay. 1268 01:13:25,251 --> 01:13:26,804 Okay. Yeah. 1269 01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:21,031 Thank you. 1270 01:14:21,617 --> 01:14:24,862 Come on. 1271 01:14:24,966 --> 01:14:26,208 Dance with your husband. 1272 01:14:26,312 --> 01:14:28,107 - No, no, no. - He's not my husband. 1273 01:14:28,210 --> 01:14:29,936 - It's okay. - Dance with him. 1274 01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:32,525 No, no. She doesn't want to. She doesn't have the right shoes. 1275 01:14:32,628 --> 01:14:35,148 Actually, it's the only thing these shoes are right for. 1276 01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:37,495 You don't have to do this. 1277 01:14:37,599 --> 01:14:39,359 It's okay. It's okay. 1278 01:14:40,257 --> 01:14:41,223 Yeah? 1279 01:15:59,853 --> 01:16:01,545 I wonder what she's saying. 1280 01:16:03,926 --> 01:16:05,411 It's folklore. 1281 01:16:06,826 --> 01:16:08,862 Love song about a woman 1282 01:16:08,966 --> 01:16:12,280 whose lover died, and she didn't want to leave his side. 1283 01:16:13,315 --> 01:16:16,146 So she laid down and refused to get up. 1284 01:16:16,732 --> 01:16:18,493 Must be scary. 1285 01:16:18,596 --> 01:16:22,497 Having to face your future without the person that you planned it with. 1286 01:16:34,854 --> 01:16:36,407 What was that? 1287 01:16:38,547 --> 01:16:42,206 Excuse me. Excuse me. The, um... the last line that you sang. 1288 01:16:42,310 --> 01:16:44,657 ¿Quién llorará junto a mí? 1289 01:16:47,591 --> 01:16:50,421 "The island will weep for me in the well of endless tears." 1290 01:16:50,525 --> 01:16:53,907 What is that, the well of endless tears? Is that a real place, or... 1291 01:16:54,011 --> 01:16:55,633 Sinkhole place. 1292 01:16:57,428 --> 01:16:59,154 Thank you. Gracias, gracias. 1293 01:16:59,258 --> 01:17:01,329 - Come here, come here. - What is it? 1294 01:17:02,951 --> 01:17:04,780 Hey, on the parchment, it said, 1295 01:17:04,884 --> 01:17:08,957 "King Kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 1296 01:17:09,060 --> 01:17:11,166 I thought maybe it was a metaphor. 1297 01:17:11,684 --> 01:17:13,237 It's not. 1298 01:17:13,341 --> 01:17:16,206 The Well of Endless Tears is a place. 1299 01:17:16,309 --> 01:17:18,311 It's a sinkhole. 1300 01:17:18,415 --> 01:17:20,589 There's a sinkhole on the map. 1301 01:17:21,935 --> 01:17:23,696 I think the tomb is there. 1302 01:17:23,799 --> 01:17:26,181 - This is so much better than your books. - What? 1303 01:17:26,285 --> 01:17:27,769 There's like... No, I don't mean any offense. 1304 01:17:27,872 --> 01:17:29,771 - I'm kidding. I'm kidding. - It's, like, equal. 1305 01:17:29,874 --> 01:17:32,083 - I'm kidding. I'm kidding. - Look at you. You want to go there. 1306 01:17:32,187 --> 01:17:34,051 - What? No. - I can see. Yes, you do. 1307 01:17:34,155 --> 01:17:37,261 That would be insane. That would be insane. I just... I just... 1308 01:17:37,365 --> 01:17:41,748 It's just that we're so close to it, but, you know, we can't... 1309 01:17:41,852 --> 01:17:43,164 No. 1310 01:17:43,267 --> 01:17:45,959 This is your story. How do you want to write it? 1311 01:17:46,753 --> 01:17:49,066 I'd like to know that it's there, 1312 01:17:49,170 --> 01:17:50,826 that all this meant something. 1313 01:17:50,930 --> 01:17:52,794 Okay. Then let's go. 1314 01:17:52,897 --> 01:17:54,761 We'll stay one more day. As soon as the sun's up, 1315 01:17:54,865 --> 01:17:56,625 we're gonna go find the Well of Endless Tears. 1316 01:17:56,729 --> 01:17:59,594 - But what if it's nothing? - So what? Then we say we tried. 1317 01:17:59,697 --> 01:18:00,940 And Fairfax? 1318 01:18:01,043 --> 01:18:03,460 The cops are after Fairfax. Don't worry about him. 1319 01:18:04,564 --> 01:18:05,358 This is crazy. 1320 01:18:05,462 --> 01:18:07,153 - Yeah, but look at you. - What? 1321 01:18:07,257 --> 01:18:10,225 It's the very first time I've ever seen you totally unafraid. 1322 01:18:10,846 --> 01:18:12,572 And alive. 1323 01:18:12,676 --> 01:18:15,196 I'm gonna go tell them our plans have changed and find us a ride. 1324 01:18:15,299 --> 01:18:16,749 Where are you going? 1325 01:18:20,408 --> 01:18:22,479 I see you met my friend here. 1326 01:18:22,582 --> 01:18:26,966 He told me you were just about to jump on a plane, 1327 01:18:27,069 --> 01:18:29,520 without so much as saying goodbye. 1328 01:18:29,624 --> 01:18:33,041 I said, "No way. Not my Loretta. 1329 01:18:33,144 --> 01:18:37,597 Not when she's the only one who can lead me to the tomb." 1330 01:18:41,014 --> 01:18:43,085 Stop squeezing so hard. 1331 01:18:43,914 --> 01:18:46,710 Ow. Get your hands off of me! 1332 01:18:47,573 --> 01:18:49,437 Ow! Let go! 1333 01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:51,128 I-I need a car. 1334 01:18:51,232 --> 01:18:53,164 A car, an auto. Does anybody have an auto? 1335 01:19:01,656 --> 01:19:02,726 No, no. No. 1336 01:19:03,451 --> 01:19:04,762 I-I-I need an auto. 1337 01:19:04,866 --> 01:19:06,212 I'll trade you my watch. 1338 01:19:06,316 --> 01:19:07,731 It's a really expensive watch. Do you have a car? 1339 01:19:07,834 --> 01:19:09,353 It's a Bulgari. This thing glows in the dark. 1340 01:19:09,457 --> 01:19:11,252 - It's waterproof. - I have motorcycle. 1341 01:19:24,851 --> 01:19:26,612 Cool, isn't it? 1342 01:19:26,715 --> 01:19:29,822 I always thought, why can't your personal tank also have a minibar? 1343 01:19:29,925 --> 01:19:31,410 Have a drink. 1344 01:19:31,513 --> 01:19:33,066 Do you mind? 1345 01:19:33,170 --> 01:19:34,585 Uh, yes. 1346 01:19:34,689 --> 01:19:36,829 He has a bit of a grudge against you, I'm afraid. 1347 01:19:36,932 --> 01:19:39,728 Something about a motorbike accident his friends had? 1348 01:19:39,832 --> 01:19:41,005 Why are you doing this? 1349 01:19:41,109 --> 01:19:42,869 I want something nobody else has. 1350 01:19:43,767 --> 01:19:45,596 When my father gifted... 1351 01:19:48,668 --> 01:19:50,187 As I was saying, 1352 01:19:50,291 --> 01:19:53,224 when my father gifted his empire 1353 01:19:53,328 --> 01:19:55,779 to my baby brother... 1354 01:20:02,820 --> 01:20:04,339 Who is that? 1355 01:20:13,072 --> 01:20:15,281 Is that a Ken doll on a moped? 1356 01:20:16,075 --> 01:20:17,594 I know him from somewhere. 1357 01:20:17,697 --> 01:20:19,354 Oh, I-I-I doubt that. 1358 01:20:19,458 --> 01:20:21,667 Because what you are looking at 1359 01:20:21,770 --> 01:20:24,670 is a highly trained combat specialist, 1360 01:20:24,773 --> 01:20:28,363 forged in the furnaces of Afghanistan, Iraq, 1361 01:20:28,467 --> 01:20:31,055 Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota... 1362 01:20:31,159 --> 01:20:33,230 Incredible skin. No eczema problems. 1363 01:20:33,334 --> 01:20:37,027 And he will not stop until I am safe! 1364 01:20:37,130 --> 01:20:39,340 So you pull this space tank over, 1365 01:20:39,443 --> 01:20:42,584 unless you would like to perish like his friends did. 1366 01:20:42,688 --> 01:20:46,105 And he is responsible for their perishment. 1367 01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:48,901 He might not have meant to, 1368 01:20:49,004 --> 01:20:52,283 but they... perished, so... 1369 01:21:07,229 --> 01:21:08,472 Okay, who-who is this? 1370 01:21:08,576 --> 01:21:10,474 I have seen him somewhere before. 1371 01:21:12,959 --> 01:21:14,202 No, no, no. 1372 01:21:14,305 --> 01:21:16,031 That's your cover model, isn't it? 1373 01:21:16,135 --> 01:21:18,413 Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere. 1374 01:21:19,310 --> 01:21:20,381 Get up there. 1375 01:21:20,484 --> 01:21:21,865 And kill him creatively. 1376 01:21:21,968 --> 01:21:24,074 I love watching hunks fail. 1377 01:21:26,421 --> 01:21:28,665 I guess I-I will have that drink. 1378 01:21:30,356 --> 01:21:31,633 Oh, shit. 1379 01:21:31,737 --> 01:21:34,291 Is it okay if I just top 'er off? 1380 01:21:34,395 --> 01:21:35,568 Yeah, that's fine, but... 1381 01:21:35,672 --> 01:21:37,639 Oh, my God, have you used a glass before? 1382 01:21:37,743 --> 01:21:39,089 Sorry. 1383 01:21:39,192 --> 01:21:40,677 What would Jack Trainer do? 1384 01:21:42,886 --> 01:21:43,956 It's hot in here. 1385 01:21:44,059 --> 01:21:47,062 Anyone else feeling how hot it is? 1386 01:21:47,166 --> 01:21:48,236 Are you trying to be sexy? 1387 01:21:48,339 --> 01:21:50,134 This is very weird. Please, stop. 1388 01:21:50,238 --> 01:21:52,136 I could set your world on fire. 1389 01:22:02,733 --> 01:22:05,046 Go to sleep! Go to sleep! 1390 01:22:05,149 --> 01:22:06,875 Go to sleep! Sleep! 1391 01:22:09,291 --> 01:22:11,121 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1392 01:22:11,224 --> 01:22:12,502 Time-out. 1393 01:22:12,605 --> 01:22:13,537 Time-in! 1394 01:22:19,370 --> 01:22:22,201 No! Don't shoot her! I need her! 1395 01:22:23,858 --> 01:22:25,722 Oh, Jesus! 1396 01:22:25,825 --> 01:22:27,240 Ow, ow, ow. 1397 01:22:31,175 --> 01:22:33,592 Move your foot! Move your foot! 1398 01:22:36,664 --> 01:22:38,873 Go to sleep, asshole. 1399 01:22:38,976 --> 01:22:40,633 Get out there! Look! 1400 01:22:45,224 --> 01:22:46,536 A bigger guy? 1401 01:22:46,639 --> 01:22:47,847 Oh, no. 1402 01:22:49,193 --> 01:22:50,436 What? 1403 01:22:52,921 --> 01:22:53,853 Move it! 1404 01:22:55,579 --> 01:22:57,892 No, no, no. No, no, no. 1405 01:22:58,789 --> 01:23:00,688 Hey! Get in. 1406 01:23:01,205 --> 01:23:02,310 Him or me? 1407 01:23:06,417 --> 01:23:11,215 This is not one of your cheap, vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta. 1408 01:23:11,319 --> 01:23:13,286 This is real life. 1409 01:23:14,218 --> 01:23:16,082 And we will kill him. 1410 01:23:16,186 --> 01:23:17,912 Tell us where the tomb is. 1411 01:23:32,582 --> 01:23:33,893 Hi. So, whoever's in charge, 1412 01:23:33,997 --> 01:23:36,620 I need you to send officials to go here. 1413 01:23:36,724 --> 01:23:37,828 Here. 1414 01:23:38,967 --> 01:23:40,797 We are closed. 1415 01:23:40,900 --> 01:23:42,246 You're closed? 1416 01:23:44,179 --> 01:23:47,286 You know I've been trying to take a nap for a year and a half? 1417 01:23:47,389 --> 01:23:48,943 A year and a half. 1418 01:23:49,875 --> 01:23:52,981 I have been burning the candle at both ends, 1419 01:23:53,085 --> 01:23:54,431 the midnight oil, 1420 01:23:54,535 --> 01:23:57,503 since way before my friend got kidnapped. 1421 01:23:57,607 --> 01:23:59,470 And all I want to do 1422 01:24:00,023 --> 01:24:02,163 is kick my feet back 1423 01:24:02,266 --> 01:24:03,509 and drink some wine 1424 01:24:03,613 --> 01:24:05,994 that I'm probably too tired to drink. 1425 01:24:06,098 --> 01:24:08,031 And I want a massage. 1426 01:24:08,134 --> 01:24:12,794 I want someone to massage my shoulders and my feet, 1427 01:24:12,898 --> 01:24:14,934 and I want it at the same time. 1428 01:24:15,038 --> 01:24:18,731 And I don't care if logistically that doesn't make sense. 1429 01:24:18,835 --> 01:24:21,492 Because I have worked hard. 1430 01:24:22,355 --> 01:24:24,806 The same way that I know that you have. 1431 01:24:25,704 --> 01:24:27,913 So I hate to ask you 1432 01:24:28,016 --> 01:24:30,398 to leave this place open a few more minutes, 1433 01:24:30,501 --> 01:24:32,434 because if we don't, 1434 01:24:32,538 --> 01:24:36,093 a very close friend of mine and her cover model 1435 01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:37,957 are going to die. 1436 01:25:00,808 --> 01:25:02,361 No good way in, boss! 1437 01:25:02,464 --> 01:25:04,605 What about the caves? 1438 01:25:05,364 --> 01:25:06,710 That's too dangerous! 1439 01:25:06,814 --> 01:25:09,817 Well, we'll be very careful then. 1440 01:25:23,382 --> 01:25:24,694 Well, come on! 1441 01:25:29,388 --> 01:25:31,217 - This way. - I have a rule about 1442 01:25:31,321 --> 01:25:32,840 not going into super creepy caves. 1443 01:25:44,196 --> 01:25:47,130 - Julian? - His name is Julian? 1444 01:25:47,233 --> 01:25:50,098 He seems more like a Buck or a Bruce. 1445 01:25:50,202 --> 01:25:51,686 Lead the way. 1446 01:25:55,379 --> 01:25:57,761 Go on. Don't be scared. 1447 01:26:27,515 --> 01:26:29,310 Watch your step there. 1448 01:26:29,413 --> 01:26:30,587 Bruce! 1449 01:26:30,691 --> 01:26:31,692 - Julian. Oh, no! - Julian! 1450 01:26:31,795 --> 01:26:33,417 Whoa. 1451 01:26:33,521 --> 01:26:35,040 Whoa. 1452 01:26:35,696 --> 01:26:37,180 Well... 1453 01:26:38,008 --> 01:26:39,734 Let's not have his death be in vain. 1454 01:26:39,838 --> 01:26:42,599 - Onward and upward. - What do you mean onward? 1455 01:26:42,703 --> 01:26:45,153 We're not gonna go and get him now, are we? 1456 01:26:45,257 --> 01:26:46,672 Oh, man. 1457 01:26:59,064 --> 01:27:00,721 - It's nothing. - Okay. 1458 01:27:00,824 --> 01:27:03,516 Yeah. Look, let's just go back to the boat. 1459 01:27:03,620 --> 01:27:05,484 This is over. Nobody else has to die. 1460 01:27:05,587 --> 01:27:07,762 No, no, no. Ha-ha! It's a breeze. 1461 01:27:07,866 --> 01:27:10,316 There's a tunnel. This could lead to the tomb. 1462 01:27:10,420 --> 01:27:12,284 - That's not person-sized. - Ah, speak for yourself. 1463 01:27:12,387 --> 01:27:14,665 Come on. It's practically a kiddie slide. 1464 01:27:14,769 --> 01:27:17,082 - More like a rock sphincter. - Or a troll anus. 1465 01:27:17,185 --> 01:27:19,567 All right, well, you are going through the anus... 1466 01:27:19,670 --> 01:27:20,982 The hole... the tunnel! 1467 01:27:21,086 --> 01:27:23,088 - Why her? - You are our canary in the coal mine. 1468 01:27:23,191 --> 01:27:24,606 No, that's impossible. I can't. 1469 01:27:24,710 --> 01:27:26,160 Please let us know if you get through. 1470 01:27:26,263 --> 01:27:28,576 If we don't hear from you, Fabio's got to die. 1471 01:27:28,679 --> 01:27:30,854 Wait, I'm the damsel in distress? 1472 01:27:31,544 --> 01:27:32,787 It's okay. I'm fine. 1473 01:28:08,823 --> 01:28:11,274 I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't. 1474 01:28:11,377 --> 01:28:13,103 - Hey. - What? 1475 01:28:13,828 --> 01:28:15,796 Hey, you smell that? 1476 01:28:15,899 --> 01:28:18,833 You mean centuries worth of bat feces? Yes, I definitely smell that. 1477 01:28:18,937 --> 01:28:21,146 You gotta take a big breath for me. 1478 01:28:26,254 --> 01:28:27,635 There you go. 1479 01:28:27,738 --> 01:28:29,602 You can do it, Loretta. 1480 01:28:42,546 --> 01:28:45,308 I think I see a way out. 1481 01:28:48,863 --> 01:28:51,072 Oh, cheese and rice! 1482 01:28:55,766 --> 01:28:57,113 I made it! 1483 01:28:57,216 --> 01:28:58,700 I made it! 1484 01:28:58,804 --> 01:29:01,289 See? Totally safe. 1485 01:29:02,290 --> 01:29:03,360 Go on. Your turn. 1486 01:29:05,052 --> 01:29:07,951 I'm coming through! Be right there, okay? 1487 01:30:12,119 --> 01:30:14,259 Why would they build this here? 1488 01:30:15,363 --> 01:30:17,089 But how is anyone supposed to worship 1489 01:30:17,193 --> 01:30:18,884 or remember you if they can't even see it? 1490 01:30:18,988 --> 01:30:20,851 They aren't. 1491 01:30:20,955 --> 01:30:23,924 This isn't a monument to Kalaman's power. 1492 01:30:25,028 --> 01:30:27,617 It's a hiding place for a grieving woman. 1493 01:30:27,720 --> 01:30:31,172 Taha came here to be with her fallen lover. 1494 01:30:32,829 --> 01:30:34,279 She just wanted to be alone. 1495 01:30:35,936 --> 01:30:37,454 Taha doesn't want us here. 1496 01:30:37,558 --> 01:30:38,904 God, shut up, Rafi. 1497 01:30:39,008 --> 01:30:40,871 It's just the volcano. 1498 01:30:42,528 --> 01:30:43,840 Come on. 1499 01:30:48,983 --> 01:30:50,640 We have to keep going. 1500 01:30:58,820 --> 01:31:00,477 All right. Let's go, Muscles. 1501 01:31:01,271 --> 01:31:03,101 Open it up. 1502 01:31:03,204 --> 01:31:05,655 - Don't disturb them. - She will be wearing the headdress. 1503 01:31:05,758 --> 01:31:08,347 Come on. We didn't come all this way just to pay our respects. 1504 01:31:08,451 --> 01:31:10,108 I can't, um... 1505 01:31:12,869 --> 01:31:15,078 - Uh... - I'm sorry, abuela. 1506 01:31:36,306 --> 01:31:37,618 What is that? 1507 01:31:39,758 --> 01:31:42,174 Are those... seashells? 1508 01:31:42,933 --> 01:31:45,798 The crown is made of seashells? 1509 01:31:45,902 --> 01:31:47,455 Where's the treasure? 1510 01:31:48,456 --> 01:31:49,906 She's holding him. 1511 01:31:52,702 --> 01:31:54,462 You mean the dead guy? 1512 01:32:00,986 --> 01:32:02,194 Look. 1513 01:32:04,196 --> 01:32:05,922 It's their courtship. 1514 01:32:06,026 --> 01:32:09,926 Kalaman is searching the island for something. 1515 01:32:12,756 --> 01:32:14,344 Rare red seashells. 1516 01:32:14,448 --> 01:32:19,453 To prove his love, he gave her one shell every day for a year 1517 01:32:19,556 --> 01:32:21,110 and made them into a crown, 1518 01:32:21,213 --> 01:32:24,009 bright red like the flame of their love, 1519 01:32:24,113 --> 01:32:27,495 until the day came where she accepted his proposal. 1520 01:32:27,599 --> 01:32:29,359 It was never about jewels. 1521 01:32:29,463 --> 01:32:33,191 Kalaman and Taha's riches weren't material. 1522 01:32:35,124 --> 01:32:37,057 It was their love. 1523 01:32:37,160 --> 01:32:39,507 That's what it meant. That was enough. 1524 01:32:39,611 --> 01:32:40,819 So that's it? 1525 01:32:41,716 --> 01:32:44,616 All of that time and money 1526 01:32:45,444 --> 01:32:49,034 spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor? 1527 01:32:49,138 --> 01:32:51,933 - It's a pretty rich metaphor. - Oh, shut up! 1528 01:32:52,037 --> 01:32:54,074 We got to go. We got to go now. 1529 01:32:54,177 --> 01:32:57,353 - Come on. Let's go. - No, no, no. You are staying here. 1530 01:32:57,456 --> 01:32:59,527 You think it's all so sweet and poetic. 1531 01:32:59,631 --> 01:33:02,116 Well, then you can stay here and spend your last moments 1532 01:33:02,220 --> 01:33:05,154 pondering the richness of that metaphor. 1533 01:33:05,844 --> 01:33:08,122 - Get in. - What? Come on, man. 1534 01:33:08,226 --> 01:33:10,676 - Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb. - Okay, okay. 1535 01:33:10,780 --> 01:33:13,403 It's better to be buried alive than buried dead, I guess. 1536 01:33:13,507 --> 01:33:16,786 - It's really not. - You know, it is a shame, really. 1537 01:33:16,889 --> 01:33:18,408 This is a hell of a story. 1538 01:33:18,512 --> 01:33:21,204 Pity you won't be around to tell it. Come on. 1539 01:33:21,308 --> 01:33:22,895 - But they'll die. - So will you 1540 01:33:22,999 --> 01:33:25,588 if you don't stop being such a snowflake! Get over here! 1541 01:33:35,184 --> 01:33:37,186 This is fine. This is not an active nightmare 1542 01:33:37,289 --> 01:33:38,946 I've had since I was 14 years old. 1543 01:33:40,706 --> 01:33:42,191 Ow! 1544 01:33:42,294 --> 01:33:46,022 Why are you going so fast? It's not a race. 1545 01:33:51,027 --> 01:33:53,340 Wait, no! What are you doing? Come back here! 1546 01:33:53,443 --> 01:33:58,138 You may have bought the island, but now the island owns you! 1547 01:33:59,000 --> 01:34:00,485 You can't just leave me here! 1548 01:34:02,521 --> 01:34:04,903 Rafi! Come back! 1549 01:34:07,077 --> 01:34:08,493 I need a boat! 1550 01:34:17,916 --> 01:34:20,021 Hey, hey, stop! Stop! 1551 01:34:22,023 --> 01:34:23,887 Help! Help! 1552 01:34:23,991 --> 01:34:26,096 One of the locals just stole my boat! 1553 01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:27,960 Have you seen a woman? 1554 01:34:28,064 --> 01:34:31,171 She's a brunette in a sequined jumpsuit. 1555 01:34:31,274 --> 01:34:35,278 No. Is she in some sort of trouble? 1556 01:34:46,945 --> 01:34:48,671 It's kind of funny. 1557 01:34:50,086 --> 01:34:51,881 I used to think this... 1558 01:34:51,984 --> 01:34:53,883 this sort of thing was so romantic. 1559 01:34:53,986 --> 01:34:55,367 Yeah? 1560 01:34:55,471 --> 01:34:58,819 Being locked in a coffin about to be buried by lava, 1561 01:34:58,922 --> 01:35:01,511 or... cuddling dead people? 1562 01:35:02,305 --> 01:35:05,377 Just laying down with a lost love. 1563 01:35:05,481 --> 01:35:06,689 Like Taha did. 1564 01:35:09,243 --> 01:35:10,451 God.Oh... 1565 01:35:11,038 --> 01:35:12,419 Oh, God. 1566 01:35:12,522 --> 01:35:14,731 I'm sorry. 1567 01:35:14,835 --> 01:35:17,286 I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. 1568 01:35:17,389 --> 01:35:19,357 I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash. 1569 01:35:19,943 --> 01:35:21,221 You're right. 1570 01:35:22,256 --> 01:35:23,809 You're nothing like Dash. 1571 01:35:23,913 --> 01:35:26,950 You didn't ride in on a white horse to save me. 1572 01:35:27,054 --> 01:35:32,439 You rode in on a... borrowed scooter with a broken muffler. 1573 01:35:33,819 --> 01:35:35,235 Yeah. 1574 01:35:35,338 --> 01:35:38,238 I never could've written a Dash like you. 1575 01:35:40,136 --> 01:35:42,069 'Cause I never knew 1576 01:35:42,759 --> 01:35:44,554 a Dash like Alan. 1577 01:35:44,658 --> 01:35:47,108 I was so afraid of being hurt by life again 1578 01:35:47,212 --> 01:35:48,593 that I just stopped living. 1579 01:35:48,696 --> 01:35:50,698 Couldn't see the good things in front of me. 1580 01:35:50,802 --> 01:35:54,288 I'm just so sorry I didn't see you sooner. 1581 01:35:55,255 --> 01:35:56,980 I have a confession too. 1582 01:35:57,084 --> 01:36:00,984 See, I was really liking where this new story of ours was headed. 1583 01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:04,298 I just wanted to see how it was gonna turn out, I guess. 1584 01:36:05,610 --> 01:36:08,164 The Adventures of Loretta and Alan. 1585 01:36:10,270 --> 01:36:12,202 No, it would need a better title than that. 1586 01:36:12,306 --> 01:36:14,274 Yeah, definitely. Definitely. 1587 01:36:15,413 --> 01:36:19,209 Sorry. Just... Taha's femur is poking me. 1588 01:36:22,903 --> 01:36:24,663 Rafi must have left that. 1589 01:36:24,767 --> 01:36:27,287 How do you forget your crowbar? It's gonna help us escape. 1590 01:36:27,390 --> 01:36:29,012 No, he left it on purpose. 1591 01:36:29,116 --> 01:36:30,807 Oh, cool. I always liked him. 1592 01:36:30,911 --> 01:36:32,326 - One... - Okay. 1593 01:36:32,430 --> 01:36:34,259 - ...two, three! - Okay. 1594 01:36:34,363 --> 01:36:38,298 I would've preferred him to not leave us here in the first place, but... 1595 01:36:38,988 --> 01:36:39,816 Okay. 1596 01:37:00,872 --> 01:37:03,081 Dulcius ex asperis. 1597 01:37:07,430 --> 01:37:09,329 Sweeter after difficulty. 1598 01:37:15,956 --> 01:37:17,406 Go up! Run for the trees! 1599 01:37:18,614 --> 01:37:21,513 Wait. Nope. Never mind. Trees are on fire. 1600 01:37:21,962 --> 01:37:23,653 Okay. 1601 01:37:25,241 --> 01:37:27,105 We can go back through the tunnel. 1602 01:37:28,071 --> 01:37:29,349 Nope. Tunnel's a no-go. 1603 01:37:34,457 --> 01:37:36,425 Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas. 1604 01:37:36,528 --> 01:37:40,083 There's a current. We can follow it into the ocean. 1605 01:37:40,187 --> 01:37:41,809 How do we know what's on the other side? 1606 01:37:42,327 --> 01:37:43,397 We don't. 1607 01:37:45,226 --> 01:37:47,367 There's only one way to find out. 1608 01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:50,577 - Worth the rash. - Yeah? 1609 01:38:11,563 --> 01:38:12,564 Alan? 1610 01:38:21,021 --> 01:38:22,263 Alan! 1611 01:38:59,715 --> 01:39:00,716 Alan? 1612 01:39:00,819 --> 01:39:03,512 A... Alan? 1613 01:39:04,720 --> 01:39:05,721 Alan! 1614 01:39:09,000 --> 01:39:10,726 Oh, my God! You're alive! 1615 01:39:10,829 --> 01:39:13,073 - I'm alive. - Oh, my God. I thought I killed you. 1616 01:39:16,041 --> 01:39:17,008 Is that Beth? 1617 01:39:17,111 --> 01:39:18,354 Loretta! 1618 01:39:18,975 --> 01:39:20,149 Beth! 1619 01:39:20,252 --> 01:39:21,909 Beth! Beth! 1620 01:39:22,013 --> 01:39:23,255 Beth! 1621 01:39:28,916 --> 01:39:30,297 Beth, you're here! 1622 01:39:30,953 --> 01:39:32,161 Why are you here? 1623 01:39:32,264 --> 01:39:35,060 I told you I got your back, girl! 1624 01:39:35,647 --> 01:39:37,442 I'm so sorry! 1625 01:39:37,546 --> 01:39:39,651 I destroyed the jumpsuit! 1626 01:39:40,100 --> 01:39:41,101 What? 1627 01:39:41,204 --> 01:39:43,724 Never mind! Later. 1628 01:39:43,828 --> 01:39:45,830 I found a British guy in a cave. 1629 01:39:45,933 --> 01:39:48,418 I thought he was a little boy, but he has a full beard. 1630 01:39:48,522 --> 01:39:51,801 Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us! 1631 01:39:51,905 --> 01:39:54,666 He's a bad guy, Beth! He killed my trainer! 1632 01:39:54,770 --> 01:39:55,771 Get him! 1633 01:39:56,288 --> 01:39:57,462 Stop him! 1634 01:40:05,297 --> 01:40:07,507 I got your back, girl. 1635 01:40:09,647 --> 01:40:11,614 Where were you running? It's a boat. 1636 01:40:11,718 --> 01:40:13,236 This guy's hilarious. 1637 01:40:13,340 --> 01:40:15,066 Got you. 1638 01:40:15,169 --> 01:40:16,446 Swim over to the rock! 1639 01:40:16,550 --> 01:40:18,621 - I don't got you. No, I got you. - I got you. 1640 01:40:18,725 --> 01:40:20,623 We're gonna get you. It's gonna be okay. 1641 01:40:20,727 --> 01:40:23,315 "Finding refuge on a nearby rock, 1642 01:40:23,419 --> 01:40:25,525 he lifted her from the water, 1643 01:40:25,628 --> 01:40:28,804 his powerful arms pulling her body close. 1644 01:40:28,907 --> 01:40:30,046 Alan whispered..." 1645 01:40:30,150 --> 01:40:32,704 Shh. You're safe now. 1646 01:40:35,120 --> 01:40:39,780 "In that moment, Loretta could feel a new adventure was just beginning." 1647 01:40:41,057 --> 01:40:43,715 "The heart-pounding passion of the narrow escape 1648 01:40:43,819 --> 01:40:46,753 only inflamed Loretta's desire for him. 1649 01:40:46,856 --> 01:40:51,067 She was thirsty for the hot lava soon to be pulsing from his..." 1650 01:40:51,171 --> 01:40:54,761 Don't you go stopping right at the good part. 1651 01:40:56,107 --> 01:40:57,936 It's nothing she hasn't read before. 1652 01:40:58,040 --> 01:40:59,420 Didn't I tell you? 1653 01:40:59,524 --> 01:41:02,527 The most beautiful beach in the world. 1654 01:41:02,631 --> 01:41:05,944 Maybe later, I'll show you the Cove of Enchantment? 1655 01:41:06,048 --> 01:41:07,636 No, you can take Randy. 1656 01:41:07,739 --> 01:41:11,398 Remember, you are my platonic man friend. 1657 01:41:11,501 --> 01:41:14,539 Platonic? I like the sound of that. 1658 01:41:14,643 --> 01:41:17,300 Not sure what it means, but I like the sound of it. 1659 01:41:17,404 --> 01:41:19,613 Here you go, Randy. 1660 01:41:21,373 --> 01:41:23,686 - My dear. - You are an angel. Thank you. 1661 01:41:24,342 --> 01:41:25,757 How did you know? 1662 01:41:37,666 --> 01:41:40,461 - Nice way to end a book tour, right? - Mm-hmm. 1663 01:41:41,014 --> 01:41:42,843 Um... 1664 01:41:42,947 --> 01:41:47,192 You know, I have a phrase I like to use in moments like these, actually. 1665 01:41:47,296 --> 01:41:48,538 Um... 1666 01:41:50,023 --> 01:41:51,438 Quid deinde? 1667 01:41:52,577 --> 01:41:55,753 It's Latin. It means, uh, "What's next?" 1668 01:41:57,651 --> 01:41:59,170 Quid cogitas? 1669 01:41:59,273 --> 01:42:00,654 Mmm. 1670 01:42:01,379 --> 01:42:02,552 Buca di Beppo. 1671 01:42:05,970 --> 01:42:07,627 - Yeah. I know zero other Latin. - No. Yes. 1672 01:42:07,730 --> 01:42:10,664 I looked it up for this moment right now. 1673 01:42:11,492 --> 01:42:13,633 So, what does come next? 1674 01:42:13,736 --> 01:42:16,221 - How would you write this? - I don't know. 1675 01:42:16,325 --> 01:42:18,879 - How would you write it? - Do we really want me to write this? 1676 01:42:18,983 --> 01:42:21,330 - Just try. Take a stab at it. - Okay. I'll write it. 1677 01:42:21,433 --> 01:42:22,780 Okay. 1678 01:42:22,883 --> 01:42:25,886 "We were... They were, uh... standing on a beach." 1679 01:42:25,990 --> 01:42:27,923 Sets the stage for the audience. They know where we are. 1680 01:42:28,026 --> 01:42:29,821 You're already laughing. Why are you laughing at me? 1681 01:42:29,925 --> 01:42:31,720 - I'm not laughing. I'm smiling. - You are. 1682 01:42:31,823 --> 01:42:35,827 "There are palm trees above a brown 1683 01:42:36,690 --> 01:42:39,313 bark-like hair of the maiden. 1684 01:42:39,417 --> 01:42:41,281 "There is a dead jellyfish..." 1685 01:42:41,384 --> 01:42:43,835 All you're doing is describing what you're actually seeing right now. 1686 01:42:43,939 --> 01:42:46,769 "He's nervous because he really likes her." 1687 01:42:47,632 --> 01:42:49,669 It's nice writing. 1688 01:42:49,772 --> 01:42:51,084 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1689 01:42:51,187 --> 01:42:52,292 I'll keep going. 1690 01:42:52,395 --> 01:42:53,983 "He looked deep in her eyes." 1691 01:42:54,087 --> 01:42:57,538 The only thing that could compare to the pulse of that ocean 1692 01:42:58,332 --> 01:42:59,402 "was the throbbing in the..." 1693 01:42:59,506 --> 01:43:02,612 - Okay, no, you can't throb. - Why not? 1694 01:43:02,716 --> 01:43:04,442 Can't come out of the gate with a throb. 1695 01:43:04,545 --> 01:43:06,858 - You throb all the time. - I don't come out of the gate with it. 1696 01:43:06,962 --> 01:43:08,860 - You have to earn the throb. - Who made you the queen of throb? 1697 01:43:08,964 --> 01:43:12,657 It's usually a chapter four thing. You want it brought up appropriately in four. 1698 01:43:12,761 --> 01:43:14,866 I think you throb in all the chapters. "Pulsating." 1699 01:43:14,970 --> 01:43:16,903 It's a precursor to throb. 1700 01:43:17,006 --> 01:43:19,112 - "Undulating." - You just jumped to five. 1701 01:43:19,215 --> 01:43:22,080 - How 'bout they just kiss? Why not? - Just like a regular kiss? 1702 01:43:22,184 --> 01:43:24,048 Yeah. Like a beginning-of-the-chapter kiss. 1703 01:43:24,151 --> 01:43:25,739 I'm good at starting... 1704 01:43:29,605 --> 01:43:31,089 How was that? Any notes? 1705 01:43:31,849 --> 01:43:35,231 Very good first chapter attempt. 1706 01:45:00,489 --> 01:45:01,973 Psst! 1707 01:45:02,629 --> 01:45:04,113 Psst. 1708 01:45:05,080 --> 01:45:06,081 Psst. 1709 01:45:08,152 --> 01:45:09,118 Mother... 1710 01:45:09,222 --> 01:45:10,948 You were dead. 1711 01:45:11,051 --> 01:45:13,916 Your brains came out of your face and hit the back of my throat. 1712 01:45:14,020 --> 01:45:16,574 - He was in my mouth. - Don't say he was in your mouth. 1713 01:45:16,677 --> 01:45:18,300 - I could taste you. - Don't ever say that. 1714 01:45:18,403 --> 01:45:23,581 We only use 10% of our brain, so I just switched to another 10%. 1715 01:45:23,684 --> 01:45:26,515 So, you're okay? 1716 01:45:26,618 --> 01:45:28,310 One hundred percent. 1717 01:45:28,413 --> 01:45:29,898 Meaning 10%. 1718 01:45:30,001 --> 01:45:31,761 We thought you were dead. 1719 01:45:31,865 --> 01:45:34,592 Naturally, I have some anger issues I need to let go of. 1720 01:45:34,695 --> 01:45:37,043 - Of course. - And resentment. 1721 01:45:38,941 --> 01:45:40,287 So good to see you, man. 1722 01:45:40,391 --> 01:45:42,462 Okay, let's keep the chatter down. 1723 01:45:42,565 --> 01:45:46,949 We're closing our eyes and reconnecting to our breath. 1724 01:45:48,019 --> 01:45:49,124 Great. 1725 01:45:49,952 --> 01:45:50,953 Great. 131215

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