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1
00:00:45,309 --> 00:00:46,862
You were incredible.
2
00:00:47,518 --> 00:00:49,727
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:51,177 --> 00:00:52,937
I felt it too.
4
00:00:53,041 --> 00:00:54,974
All thanks to your
brute strength, Dash,
5
00:00:55,077 --> 00:00:58,218
and your knowledge of ancient
Aramaic mathematics.
6
00:00:58,322 --> 00:01:01,221
Please. This has nothing to
do with my two doctorates
7
00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:03,396
and my master's in Gender Studies
8
00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:07,262
and everything to do
with you, Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:07,711 --> 00:01:09,609
The truth is,
10
00:01:09,713 --> 00:01:12,094
I never thought I would
find the Lost City of D.
11
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:15,132
I would choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:15,235 --> 00:01:16,996
They will be your last.
13
00:01:17,099 --> 00:01:20,862
You led me right to King Kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:20,965 --> 00:01:24,555
and his queen's
legendary Crown of Fire.
15
00:01:24,659 --> 00:01:27,558
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:27,662 --> 00:01:30,354
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:31,286 --> 00:01:34,669
Hold up. Are these...
Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:34,772 --> 00:01:36,394
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:36,498 --> 00:01:38,949
There were just hundreds
of snakes in this temple
20
00:01:39,052 --> 00:01:40,916
just waiting for us to show up?
21
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,125
- Who feeds them? You feed them?
- No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:45,438
Why is that one not biting that
guy? Why is that happening?
23
00:01:45,541 --> 00:01:47,504
Are they trained not to bite
henchmen or something?
24
00:01:47,528 --> 00:01:48,406
Yeah, well...
25
00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:50,788
I mean, the
snake-to-temple ratio alone...
26
00:01:50,892 --> 00:01:53,342
This is ridiculous. Delete.
27
00:01:54,620 --> 00:01:56,518
I... I think my character
can still work.
28
00:01:56,622 --> 00:01:58,347
Delete.
29
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,626
Loretta, you still have
a story to write.
30
00:02:01,316 --> 00:02:02,628
Delete.
31
00:02:05,009 --> 00:02:06,873
Hey, it's me, Beth.
32
00:02:06,977 --> 00:02:09,393
I don't want to pull the whole
"I'm your publisher" card, but I am.
33
00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,844
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
34
00:02:11,947 --> 00:02:13,984
But no pressure. No,
there actually is pressure.
35
00:02:14,087 --> 00:02:18,264
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
36
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:19,748
You got this.
37
00:02:21,301 --> 00:02:22,268
Thank you.
38
00:02:22,371 --> 00:02:24,408
Me again.
39
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,375
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
40
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:29,309
but, uh, the only thing we
need is a book to tour with.
41
00:02:29,413 --> 00:02:31,553
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
42
00:02:31,657 --> 00:02:34,107
because you don't want
to leave your house.
43
00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:39,388
Listen, I know these last five years
have been hard after John's passing,
44
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:42,875
and it feels easier to
live in your bathtub,
45
00:02:42,978 --> 00:02:45,636
drinking Chardonnay on ice.
46
00:02:45,740 --> 00:02:48,535
But, girl, there is a great
big world waiting for you
47
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:51,642
and a book tour that I can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
48
00:02:51,746 --> 00:02:52,988
Love you, bye!
49
00:03:12,007 --> 00:03:13,526
We have to keep going.
50
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:17,047
Let's see what's on the
other side of that door.
51
00:03:17,150 --> 00:03:19,256
But what if there isn't anything?
52
00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:22,086
There's only one way to find out.
53
00:03:22,984 --> 00:03:24,917
Then Lovemore realized
54
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,298
the treasure she
wanted was lost forever
55
00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:29,784
and her adventures
were coming to an end.
56
00:03:29,887 --> 00:03:31,026
That doesn't feel right.
57
00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:32,925
Yeah, but that's it.
58
00:03:33,028 --> 00:03:34,478
That's the end.
59
00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:45,075
Well, John,
60
00:03:45,661 --> 00:03:46,766
here I go.
61
00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,148
Dulcius ex asperis.
62
00:03:55,671 --> 00:03:58,433
- Okay, honey, it's showtime.
- Are you sure about this?
63
00:03:58,536 --> 00:04:02,126
Because I have a wedgie in the
back and in the front in this thing.
64
00:04:02,230 --> 00:04:04,473
I feel like a nerdy figure skater.
65
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:07,269
- Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.
- No, it's not. It's not.
66
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:09,306
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
67
00:04:09,409 --> 00:04:11,618
- I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.
- Stop it. Will you stop?
68
00:04:11,722 --> 00:04:13,897
Get it out now 'cause
you can't do that onstage.
69
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,692
And we're done. And
we're done. Okay, good.
70
00:04:16,796 --> 00:04:18,694
Do I need to be wearing
a glitter onesie?
71
00:04:18,798 --> 00:04:20,248
You only have to wear
this for two hours.
72
00:04:20,351 --> 00:04:22,319
Do not mess this up, do you
hear me? This is on loan.
73
00:04:22,422 --> 00:04:24,424
Everyone's wearing sequins right now.
74
00:04:25,943 --> 00:04:28,014
- Why is she taking my photo?
- This is Allison.
75
00:04:28,118 --> 00:04:30,430
She is our new social media manager.
76
00:04:30,534 --> 00:04:33,364
And she's gonna be helping us
target that younger demographic.
77
00:04:33,468 --> 00:04:35,953
Meaning women in their 30s
who wish they were in their 20s.
78
00:04:36,057 --> 00:04:37,575
Hey, what's up?
79
00:04:37,679 --> 00:04:41,027
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
80
00:04:41,131 --> 00:04:46,308
"Where are my ladies at? Meet
me at Ballroom G at 5:00 p.m.
81
00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,862
#ShawnMendes.
82
00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:50,830
#GaggingToMeetYouAll."
83
00:04:50,934 --> 00:04:53,488
Okay, we are having fun. Let's go.
84
00:04:53,591 --> 00:04:56,560
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
85
00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:58,079
People know I'm alive.
86
00:04:58,182 --> 00:05:00,150
And to remind them why this used to be
87
00:05:00,253 --> 00:05:02,324
- the best selling franchise.
- In Romance.
88
00:05:02,428 --> 00:05:05,051
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
89
00:05:05,155 --> 00:05:08,020
Revenue-generating isn't how I would
describe our presales right now.
90
00:05:08,123 --> 00:05:10,263
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
91
00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:11,989
Oh, you want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
92
00:05:12,093 --> 00:05:14,889
"The only thing more lost than
the city is the author herself."
93
00:05:14,992 --> 00:05:16,752
"Loveless." "Passionless."
94
00:05:16,856 --> 00:05:20,756
Uh, "Way past her prime." And, oh,
"This is fake history at its worst."
95
00:05:20,860 --> 00:05:23,035
A book tour could
change everything, okay?
96
00:05:23,138 --> 00:05:25,451
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
97
00:05:25,554 --> 00:05:29,144
Real history. I merely season
it with a smidge more nudity.
98
00:05:29,248 --> 00:05:31,457
History had a ton of nudity.
99
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,391
Deep exploration.
100
00:05:34,494 --> 00:05:36,980
Steamy wondering.
101
00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:42,123
Will Lovemore and Dash find Queen
Taha's priceless Crown of Fire?
102
00:05:42,226 --> 00:05:44,021
Join them on their search.
103
00:05:44,125 --> 00:05:46,058
So, listen, I wanted to talk
to you about something.
104
00:05:46,161 --> 00:05:47,404
There's so many people.
105
00:05:47,507 --> 00:05:49,647
I know how much you
hate doing these things,
106
00:05:49,751 --> 00:05:52,478
so I've invited Alan to do
the Q and A with you today.
107
00:05:52,581 --> 00:05:54,583
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
108
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,655
Beth, I expressly asked not to do any
more events with Dash... Alan, Alan!
109
00:05:57,759 --> 00:06:00,589
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
110
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:03,730
Thank you. You're very good at your
job. Thank you so much. Thank you.
111
00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,042
Let me help you with that.
112
00:06:05,146 --> 00:06:07,044
He is... He's a body wash commercial.
113
00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:09,012
He's always glistening
all over the place.
114
00:06:09,115 --> 00:06:12,015
There hasn't been an event
where his shirt didn't come flying off.
115
00:06:12,118 --> 00:06:13,637
- You wish.
- Well, he's already here,
116
00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:15,881
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
117
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:19,160
Remember, no grumpy face, big
words or boring academic talk.
118
00:06:19,263 --> 00:06:22,542
Yes! Yes!
119
00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,579
Come on, RTP!
120
00:06:24,682 --> 00:06:26,167
Ha-ha!
121
00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:28,514
Yes, my Lovemore-heads!
122
00:06:28,617 --> 00:06:32,069
I am so excited to introduce to you
123
00:06:32,173 --> 00:06:36,004
the award-winning author, Loretta Sage!
124
00:06:36,108 --> 00:06:38,662
- Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.
- Are you kidding me?
125
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:40,491
Listen, I've got your
back. You got this.
126
00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,114
Go give the people what they want.
127
00:06:42,217 --> 00:06:44,081
- It's not me they want.
- Get out there now!
128
00:06:46,635 --> 00:06:50,467
Hi. How are you? Nice
to see you. Thank you.
129
00:06:55,817 --> 00:06:57,543
Yep. Mount it.
130
00:06:59,994 --> 00:07:02,893
Mount it. Mount it. Okay.
131
00:07:02,997 --> 00:07:04,688
Find your center.
132
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:08,347
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
133
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,211
The sexiest...
134
00:07:10,314 --> 00:07:14,318
...most influential
hero of a generation.
135
00:07:14,422 --> 00:07:15,630
That's a bit strong.
136
00:07:15,733 --> 00:07:18,357
His 20th cover of an
Angela Lovemore novel.
137
00:07:18,944 --> 00:07:21,084
Dash McMahon!
138
00:07:26,537 --> 00:07:29,057
Oh, my God! Dash!
139
00:07:51,735 --> 00:07:54,082
- Take a bow.
- I already did mine. I did mine.
140
00:07:54,186 --> 00:07:57,154
Okay, come on. One more. I got you.
141
00:08:12,169 --> 00:08:13,826
Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my God.
142
00:08:13,929 --> 00:08:17,761
I'm loving this chemistry
between you two, and I got to say,
143
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:20,005
I love this book.
144
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,178
- Oh, thank you, Ray.
- Thank...
145
00:08:21,282 --> 00:08:22,628
Spoiler alert.
146
00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:24,009
A really bold choice
147
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,045
to not have them go
into the tomb at the end.
148
00:08:26,149 --> 00:08:27,771
Talk about what went into this one.
149
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:31,326
I mean, this one's such a
special book for me personally.
150
00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:34,260
I... I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
151
00:08:34,364 --> 00:08:36,469
that Loretta, word
writer extraordinaire,
152
00:08:36,573 --> 00:08:39,610
has, you know, named the book after me.
153
00:08:39,714 --> 00:08:41,543
The Lost City of Dash.
154
00:08:41,647 --> 00:08:42,751
The Lost City of D.
155
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:45,099
Um, but that's not
what the D stands for.
156
00:08:45,202 --> 00:08:47,791
- It's D for "dick," right?
- No dick, no.
157
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,001
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, Dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
158
00:08:51,105 --> 00:08:55,661
And, um, it was too difficult for the
European colonizers to pronounce,
159
00:08:55,764 --> 00:08:59,044
- so, in true colonial fashion they abbreviated it.
- No one cares about this.
160
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,873
That's so interesting. Okay.
161
00:09:00,976 --> 00:09:03,289
How about we take some
questions from the audience?
162
00:09:03,393 --> 00:09:05,188
Yes.
163
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:09,433
Dash, what's your
favorite romantic moment?
164
00:09:09,537 --> 00:09:14,059
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
165
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:16,095
Ooh, spicy.
166
00:09:16,199 --> 00:09:18,132
Oh, uh...
167
00:09:18,235 --> 00:09:20,927
Well, being a sapiosexual...
168
00:09:21,031 --> 00:09:23,240
Oh, is that when they do
the snakes around the...
169
00:09:23,344 --> 00:09:27,417
No. That's someone
who finds, uh, intellect
170
00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:31,421
or intelligence, uh,
very sexy, you know.
171
00:09:31,524 --> 00:09:32,629
Same.
172
00:09:33,112 --> 00:09:34,355
Really?
173
00:09:34,458 --> 00:09:36,874
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
174
00:09:36,978 --> 00:09:40,706
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that
today. We're here for Loretta's book.
175
00:09:40,809 --> 00:09:42,673
Do we have questions for Loretta?
176
00:09:42,777 --> 00:09:47,954
Uh, yes, studious-looking young
lady? What would you like to ask me?
177
00:09:48,058 --> 00:09:50,095
Can you rip off Dash's shirt?
178
00:09:51,648 --> 00:09:54,478
No, no. We're not gonna
do this again. Sorry.
179
00:09:54,582 --> 00:09:57,102
Rip it off! Rip it off!
180
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,518
Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off!
181
00:09:59,621 --> 00:10:03,349
Of course. Of course, yes. Can do.
182
00:10:04,316 --> 00:10:05,593
Is this happening?
183
00:10:05,696 --> 00:10:07,422
- You don't have to do this.
- Oh, we have to.
184
00:10:07,526 --> 00:10:09,597
We have to give the people
what they want. Yes, yes.
185
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:12,427
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
186
00:10:12,531 --> 00:10:15,775
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.
187
00:10:15,879 --> 00:10:20,539
Because The Lost City of
D is Dash's final adventure.
188
00:10:20,642 --> 00:10:22,713
If there even is a next book,
189
00:10:22,817 --> 00:10:25,923
it will open with Lovemore
receiving the tragic news
190
00:10:26,027 --> 00:10:28,374
of his untimely death.
191
00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:29,858
What?
192
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:31,412
Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch
is stuck.Ow. Hold on.
193
00:10:31,515 --> 00:10:32,585
I know. Don't pull it.
194
00:10:32,689 --> 00:10:34,208
It's okay. Just be real still.
195
00:10:34,311 --> 00:10:35,726
- No. That's pulling it.
- You're pulling it.
196
00:10:35,830 --> 00:10:38,419
You're gonna rip my
wig off. No, you can't...
197
00:10:42,837 --> 00:10:43,803
Oh, my!
198
00:10:43,907 --> 00:10:45,322
- Oh, my God.
- Is he okay?
199
00:10:45,426 --> 00:10:47,048
God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
200
00:10:47,152 --> 00:10:49,809
- I'm so sorry.
- You're a bad person.
201
00:10:49,913 --> 00:10:54,159
Stick around for the costume
contest at 6:00 p.m.
202
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,265
"If there is another book"?
203
00:10:57,369 --> 00:11:02,270
I'm investing everything
we've got into this tour, okay?
204
00:11:02,374 --> 00:11:05,825
I just don't think I have another
Dash and Lovemore adventure in me.
205
00:11:05,929 --> 00:11:07,310
How does Dash die?
206
00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:09,553
- Was it the snakes?
- No.
207
00:11:09,657 --> 00:11:12,004
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
208
00:11:12,107 --> 00:11:14,558
You guys have an interview
in the next suite in ten minutes.
209
00:11:14,662 --> 00:11:17,078
So can you please do me
a favor and be grown-ups
210
00:11:17,182 --> 00:11:18,700
and get yourselves there on your own?
211
00:11:18,804 --> 00:11:20,012
Okay. Thank you so much.
212
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:22,877
Does he die from a staph infection?
213
00:11:24,844 --> 00:11:26,915
It is a staph infection. I knew it.
214
00:11:28,089 --> 00:11:29,470
I-I... All right.
215
00:11:29,573 --> 00:11:32,645
Look, I get it if you need
a break or something,
216
00:11:32,749 --> 00:11:34,751
- but you can't just kill me, okay?
- Okay.
217
00:11:34,854 --> 00:11:39,238
I hate that I have to ask this, but
you do know you're not Dash, right?
218
00:11:39,342 --> 00:11:41,516
Dash is a character I made up.
219
00:11:41,620 --> 00:11:42,862
Dash?
220
00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:46,935
Thanks.
221
00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:48,247
Thank you.
222
00:11:50,732 --> 00:11:53,010
- Loretta, it's this way.
- No, I think it's this way.
223
00:11:53,114 --> 00:11:55,461
Can't you see that Dash
means so much to people?
224
00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:57,429
- Means so much to you.
- Not to me.
225
00:11:57,532 --> 00:11:59,189
Well, yeah, to me, but
to other people too.
226
00:11:59,293 --> 00:12:02,261
- What about Beth?
- You know what? Beth is gonna be fine.
227
00:12:02,365 --> 00:12:06,196
She's gonna find plenty fresh,
young writers full of great ideas.
228
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,302
You can transition gracefully
229
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,752
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
230
00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:12,202
and I can be left alone.
231
00:12:12,306 --> 00:12:14,031
Everybody is happy.
232
00:12:14,135 --> 00:12:15,930
No, it's this way.
233
00:12:16,033 --> 00:12:17,863
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
234
00:12:17,966 --> 00:12:20,003
I don't feel like that's very happy.
235
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:23,006
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
236
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:25,353
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
237
00:12:25,457 --> 00:12:28,805
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
238
00:12:28,908 --> 00:12:30,427
You could be visiting ancient Greece.
239
00:12:30,531 --> 00:12:33,430
Okay. How could I visit ancient Greece?
240
00:12:33,534 --> 00:12:35,570
I get it. Because
you're afraid of flying.
241
00:12:35,674 --> 00:12:39,091
No. Because ancient
Greece is in the past.
242
00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:40,748
Just like Dash.
243
00:12:40,851 --> 00:12:44,061
Okay. You want to know who
else is stuck in the past? You are.
244
00:12:44,165 --> 00:12:46,926
You're so afraid of life hurting
you again that you've stopped living.
245
00:12:47,030 --> 00:12:49,343
You're like a human mummy.
246
00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,863
I didn't, um...
247
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,314
Oh.
248
00:12:55,418 --> 00:12:57,558
Mummies are human.
249
00:13:06,843 --> 00:13:08,810
Stupid... Oh, crap.
250
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,848
I'm so sorry. I-I will clean this up.
251
00:13:11,951 --> 00:13:14,437
I am not a litterer,
I-I assure you that.
252
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:18,026
Do you, um... Do you think you
could, uh, call a car for me, please?
253
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,649
Thank you. Thank you.
254
00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:23,584
Bring the car around.
255
00:13:23,687 --> 00:13:25,137
God, is that someone's retainer?
256
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,588
I've never said the right
thing one time around her.
257
00:13:27,691 --> 00:13:29,624
I get nervous because
she opens her mouth,
258
00:13:29,728 --> 00:13:34,180
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
259
00:13:34,284 --> 00:13:35,596
You know she's trying to kill me?
260
00:13:35,699 --> 00:13:37,874
I just need those tomatoes.
261
00:13:37,977 --> 00:13:40,325
You're right. No, you're right.
262
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:41,912
I should apologize. Thank you, man.
263
00:13:42,016 --> 00:13:44,259
- I appreciate that very, very much.
- You're welcome.
264
00:13:54,408 --> 00:13:56,686
Uh, Loretta Sage. Yeah.
265
00:14:01,898 --> 00:14:03,002
Uh...
266
00:14:04,314 --> 00:14:05,522
Hiya.
267
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:07,110
Uh, I did not order an UberPool.
268
00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:10,182
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
269
00:14:10,285 --> 00:14:11,459
Um...
270
00:14:14,945 --> 00:14:16,222
Loretta!
271
00:14:16,326 --> 00:14:17,845
Loretta! Loretta?
272
00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:22,608
Uh, Loretta?
273
00:14:22,712 --> 00:14:25,300
- Did you say "Loretta"?
- Yeah.
274
00:14:25,404 --> 00:14:26,612
- Follow that SUV, man.
- No.
275
00:14:26,716 --> 00:14:28,476
- Come on, please!
- No, no, no.
276
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,652
I'm not helping any more handsome
strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
277
00:14:31,755 --> 00:14:35,069
What is this, Taken? Am I "tooken"?
278
00:14:35,172 --> 00:14:36,588
Am I sold already?
279
00:14:36,691 --> 00:14:39,694
Am I... Am I sold to him?
280
00:14:39,798 --> 00:14:43,457
- Ow. Stop.
- Oh, no. Did this feel creepy?
281
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,183
I said don't make it creepy, guys.
282
00:14:46,287 --> 00:14:48,116
I'm so sorry about the setting.
283
00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,809
I just flew in. I was in a
real panic to meet you.
284
00:14:50,912 --> 00:14:52,983
I didn't have time to
dress the place up much.
285
00:14:53,087 --> 00:14:55,883
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
286
00:14:55,986 --> 00:15:00,059
Are you the one who's been
emailing me for photos of my feet?
287
00:15:00,163 --> 00:15:02,027
No. Um...
288
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:06,445
And I promise what I'm about to show
you is gonna make you very happy.
289
00:15:07,204 --> 00:15:08,413
But first, a little bit
290
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:11,726
about the mysterious
rogue you see before you.
291
00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:14,108
Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax.
292
00:15:14,211 --> 00:15:17,145
- Abigail?
- It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly.
293
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:20,942
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul Fairfaxes?
294
00:15:21,874 --> 00:15:25,084
Didn't you just take
over your company or...
295
00:15:25,188 --> 00:15:29,123
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
296
00:15:29,226 --> 00:15:32,333
Ah. Yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
297
00:15:32,437 --> 00:15:34,369
Some might even say too young.
298
00:15:34,473 --> 00:15:37,200
But that world never
really interested me.
299
00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,892
My passions, as you may know,
300
00:15:39,996 --> 00:15:43,102
lie in the hidden things in the world,
301
00:15:43,206 --> 00:15:45,829
things which defy possession.
302
00:15:45,933 --> 00:15:48,970
Um, some might call me a collector.
303
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:52,767
But there is one
obsession in particular
304
00:15:52,871 --> 00:15:54,976
that has held me captive.
305
00:15:56,150 --> 00:15:57,634
The Crown of Fire
306
00:15:57,738 --> 00:16:00,119
and its cascading red diamonds.
307
00:16:00,223 --> 00:16:03,882
Is this a... Is this a
hidden-camera thing?
308
00:16:03,985 --> 00:16:07,575
So imagine my surprise
when, in your new book,
309
00:16:07,679 --> 00:16:10,958
amidst the pages of coital reverie,
310
00:16:11,061 --> 00:16:11,890
was something...
311
00:16:11,993 --> 00:16:14,064
- Oh, God...
- quite magnificent.
312
00:16:15,928 --> 00:16:18,483
I get it. I get it. I
so get it right now.
313
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:19,898
Oh, my gosh.
314
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:22,176
I literally thought you
guys kidnapped me.
315
00:16:22,279 --> 00:16:24,765
I mean, this is marketing,
right? Beth set this up?
316
00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:27,768
This was so good, you
guys. This was amazing.
317
00:16:27,871 --> 00:16:31,116
You, with your gun and your mustache
318
00:16:31,219 --> 00:16:34,188
and your, "You'd better get
in there" and you know...
319
00:16:35,396 --> 00:16:36,915
Oh, my God.
320
00:16:37,018 --> 00:16:40,781
You, with the G.I. Joe
tone-on-tone outfit.
321
00:16:40,884 --> 00:16:45,889
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
322
00:16:45,993 --> 00:16:48,892
- Mm-hmm.
- Something nobody else has been able to do.
323
00:16:48,996 --> 00:16:51,412
Well, nobody else had ever tried.
324
00:16:51,516 --> 00:16:53,345
Is that right? Am I
saying the right thing?
325
00:16:53,448 --> 00:16:55,105
Except you, right?
326
00:16:55,209 --> 00:16:57,176
Except me!
327
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,006
Yes. See, it turns out
328
00:16:59,109 --> 00:17:02,423
Loretta Sage was once a young
college girl doing her dissertation
329
00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:05,391
on the dead language of
the D with her future husband,
330
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:08,602
dreaming of finding Kalaman's
tomb and the Crown of Fire.
331
00:17:08,705 --> 00:17:11,812
I was sorry to read you gave
up your search after he died.
332
00:17:11,915 --> 00:17:13,538
But what that means is,
333
00:17:14,815 --> 00:17:16,713
you're all I have left.
334
00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:19,992
All-All you have left for... what?
335
00:17:20,096 --> 00:17:21,131
Hmm.
336
00:17:22,926 --> 00:17:24,169
Oh.
337
00:17:24,272 --> 00:17:25,653
Here we go.
338
00:17:39,771 --> 00:17:41,496
What is this?
339
00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,293
I believe it is describing the
exact location of Kalaman's tomb,
340
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:48,849
in which Taha and her
priceless headdress are buried.
341
00:17:48,952 --> 00:17:51,092
Well, if this were authentic,
342
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:56,546
you would still have
to uncover an entire city
343
00:17:56,650 --> 00:17:59,687
that nobody has been able to find.
344
00:17:59,791 --> 00:18:01,447
I found it.
345
00:18:01,551 --> 00:18:04,692
On a tiny, forgotten island in
the Atlantic called Isla Hundida.
346
00:18:04,796 --> 00:18:08,351
What I have not been able to
find is Kalaman's final resting place.
347
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:12,735
This piece of parchment is the
only clue we found among the ruins.
348
00:18:12,838 --> 00:18:15,979
I need someone who can
decipher these symbols.
349
00:18:16,601 --> 00:18:18,154
I need you.
350
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:20,743
- Well...
- Miss Sage,
351
00:18:20,846 --> 00:18:24,229
surely this isn't how you
want your story to end.
352
00:18:24,332 --> 00:18:26,921
We both had our dreams
crushed by bad luck,
353
00:18:27,025 --> 00:18:29,268
or in my case, an
arse-kissing little brother,
354
00:18:29,372 --> 00:18:32,478
but this is our chance
to show them all.
355
00:18:32,582 --> 00:18:34,170
Come with me... to the island.
356
00:18:34,273 --> 00:18:39,416
Translate these symbols and
help me find the Crown of Fire.
357
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,143
You can name your price.
358
00:18:44,767 --> 00:18:47,597
I must respectfully decline.
359
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:53,672
Well...
360
00:18:55,294 --> 00:18:57,262
I can't say I'm not disappointed.
361
00:18:58,159 --> 00:19:00,645
But I understand how you feel.
362
00:19:03,993 --> 00:19:05,753
Will you at least let
us give you a ride?
363
00:19:05,857 --> 00:19:10,137
Oh, no, thank you. I'll call
for my own car, and I'll just...
364
00:19:31,710 --> 00:19:35,472
I don't feel like you're listening
to me. This is urgent, and we...
365
00:19:35,576 --> 00:19:38,510
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an APB...
366
00:19:38,613 --> 00:19:40,270
- APB...
- on an SUV,
367
00:19:40,374 --> 00:19:42,617
- and there's this 24-hour rule...
- Why is there a rule?
368
00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:45,137
- ...and they won't do anything until...
- What about the FBI or the CIA?
369
00:19:45,241 --> 00:19:47,208
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
370
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,901
When I was in college, my
friend Nicki went missing.
371
00:19:50,004 --> 00:19:51,626
Everyone was, like, freaking out.
372
00:19:51,730 --> 00:19:54,077
But then she was just in her car.
373
00:19:54,181 --> 00:19:57,356
She was dead, but we
found her. She wasn't gone.
374
00:19:57,460 --> 00:20:01,809
Um, what about...
Maybe we could get a PI
375
00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:04,432
or, like, you know,
private security or...
376
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,434
What about an extraction
team, like the movie?
377
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:09,023
Yes! But who does that?
The ex-military, right?
378
00:20:09,127 --> 00:20:11,716
Oh, yeah. I think I actually have
somebody that could help us.
379
00:20:11,819 --> 00:20:14,788
- Oh.
- I did this meditation retreat,
380
00:20:14,891 --> 00:20:16,962
and there was this trainer guy there.
381
00:20:17,066 --> 00:20:18,584
You should see this guy meditate.
382
00:20:18,688 --> 00:20:20,103
But he's ex-Navy SEAL.
383
00:20:20,207 --> 00:20:24,004
He... He's a special ops
trainer. What was his name?
384
00:20:24,694 --> 00:20:25,833
Yeah. Jack Trainer.
385
00:20:25,937 --> 00:20:27,559
So he's a trainer named Jack Trainer?
386
00:20:27,662 --> 00:20:29,837
That's how I have everybody in
my phone. See, "Janice Mom."
387
00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:31,390
"Larry Doorknob." "Stacy Butt Stuff."
388
00:20:31,494 --> 00:20:34,186
Look, this is what this
guy does. He finds people.
389
00:20:34,290 --> 00:20:36,568
If there's anybody that
can help us, it's him.
390
00:20:43,506 --> 00:20:46,026
- Jack Trainer.
- Oh, so his name is actually Jack Trainer.
391
00:20:46,129 --> 00:20:50,030
Hi, uh, this is Alan from
"Touching Your Inner Self."
392
00:20:51,514 --> 00:20:53,343
The meditation retreat?
393
00:20:55,069 --> 00:20:58,141
Anyway, uh, okay. Our friend
Loretta has been kidnapped,
394
00:20:58,245 --> 00:20:59,694
and no one's helping us.
395
00:20:59,798 --> 00:21:01,282
How long she been missing?
396
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:02,628
Maybe two hours now.
397
00:21:02,732 --> 00:21:04,044
Who is that?
398
00:21:04,147 --> 00:21:08,186
Um, this is B... This
is Beth. I'm Beth.
399
00:21:08,289 --> 00:21:10,705
And Allison is on too, sir.
400
00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:13,018
Did she have any Wi-Fi-enabled devices?
401
00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:16,021
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
402
00:21:16,125 --> 00:21:18,748
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
403
00:21:18,852 --> 00:21:21,786
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
404
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:23,442
- Go to the smartwatch app.
- All right.
405
00:21:23,546 --> 00:21:25,859
Then hit "Find My Smartwatch."
406
00:21:25,962 --> 00:21:28,896
Oh, my... That is so good.
That's why we called.
407
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,450
"Anticipate the difficult
by managing the easy."
408
00:21:31,554 --> 00:21:35,247
- Is that Oprah or Deepak?
- Laozi fromTao-te Ching.
409
00:21:35,351 --> 00:21:36,559
Oh, my God.
410
00:21:36,662 --> 00:21:38,354
It's in the Atlantic.
411
00:21:38,457 --> 00:21:40,805
- She's on a plane?
- How can you tell that?
412
00:21:40,908 --> 00:21:43,083
'Cause she can't swim that fast.
413
00:21:43,186 --> 00:21:44,636
Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario.
414
00:21:44,739 --> 00:21:47,363
My guess is blood sport,
Hunger Games type situation.
415
00:21:47,466 --> 00:21:50,297
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
416
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,437
Real clown shit. We'll
have to move fast.
417
00:21:52,540 --> 00:21:55,474
- How do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrency. Cash App.
418
00:21:55,578 --> 00:21:59,064
I'll have her back within 48 hours
or your next rescue is free.
419
00:21:59,168 --> 00:22:00,652
How many people need a next rescue?
420
00:22:00,755 --> 00:22:02,274
More than you'd think.
421
00:22:02,378 --> 00:22:04,207
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I'll bring it to you.
422
00:22:04,311 --> 00:22:07,072
Let me know where she lands.
I'll meet you there, Alan.
423
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,123
Hello.
424
00:22:27,713 --> 00:22:28,853
Where am I?
425
00:22:28,956 --> 00:22:30,958
Um, you're on my plane.
426
00:22:31,062 --> 00:22:32,270
It's nice, isn't it? Hmm?
427
00:22:32,373 --> 00:22:34,203
The seats are made
of mama llama leather.
428
00:22:34,306 --> 00:22:37,413
Well, I'm getting off your plane.
429
00:22:37,516 --> 00:22:38,897
Unchain me!
430
00:22:39,001 --> 00:22:40,554
That's your seat belt.
431
00:22:41,141 --> 00:22:43,005
Did you chloroform me?
432
00:22:43,108 --> 00:22:45,317
People actually do that?
433
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:50,357
Well, you know, it's
a classic for a reason.
434
00:22:51,047 --> 00:22:52,290
My body feels drunk.
435
00:22:52,393 --> 00:22:54,292
It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry.
436
00:22:54,395 --> 00:22:56,811
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
437
00:22:56,915 --> 00:22:59,366
- Stop playing jelly.
- Time is not on our side.
438
00:22:59,469 --> 00:23:02,196
You see, the volcano
we're excavating around
439
00:23:02,300 --> 00:23:04,267
has developed a bad
case of indigestion.
440
00:23:04,371 --> 00:23:06,235
I'm rather worried that when it blows,
441
00:23:06,338 --> 00:23:08,409
everything that's left of the
Lost City will be destroyed.
442
00:23:08,513 --> 00:23:10,411
Oh, my God. My legs don't work.
443
00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:15,934
So, this is our last chance to
find both the tomb and the crown.
444
00:23:16,038 --> 00:23:18,074
Oh, God. Oh!
445
00:23:18,178 --> 00:23:20,456
Don't worry. That's
just our final descent.
446
00:23:20,559 --> 00:23:26,565
But it is the beginning of the
greatest adventure of your life.
447
00:24:35,186 --> 00:24:37,257
Welcome to the Lost City.
448
00:24:46,887 --> 00:24:48,302
How did you find it?
449
00:24:48,406 --> 00:24:50,546
So, the city was built on a lava dome.
450
00:24:50,649 --> 00:24:53,342
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
451
00:24:53,445 --> 00:24:56,069
and sunken things rose to the surface.
452
00:24:56,172 --> 00:24:58,071
The D exposed itself.
453
00:24:58,174 --> 00:25:01,212
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
454
00:25:01,315 --> 00:25:04,525
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
455
00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:07,908
- The site?
- No. The island. The southern half.
456
00:25:08,012 --> 00:25:10,359
I got a good deal 'cause
this is where the lava flows.
457
00:25:10,462 --> 00:25:12,706
We've been excavating for a year now.
458
00:25:13,776 --> 00:25:16,330
One doesn't kidnap a
romance novelist on day one.
459
00:25:16,434 --> 00:25:18,470
Ah, yes, as the saying goes.
460
00:25:18,574 --> 00:25:21,577
Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, Rafi?
461
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,856
He says we're
disrespecting his heritage.
462
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:28,204
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, Rafi?
463
00:25:28,308 --> 00:25:30,379
Beggars can't be choosers.
464
00:25:40,216 --> 00:25:42,046
No more charcuterie, I take it.
465
00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:44,255
Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster.
466
00:25:44,358 --> 00:25:46,188
Whatever you need, just shout.
467
00:25:47,706 --> 00:25:52,573
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
468
00:25:53,781 --> 00:25:55,024
And then what?
469
00:25:55,128 --> 00:25:57,647
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
470
00:25:57,751 --> 00:25:59,891
what an exciting
opportunity this is for us.
471
00:25:59,994 --> 00:26:03,895
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
472
00:26:03,998 --> 00:26:06,518
It's a logographic system.
473
00:26:07,278 --> 00:26:09,866
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
474
00:26:09,970 --> 00:26:13,767
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
475
00:26:13,870 --> 00:26:15,148
Yeah, no luck there.
476
00:26:15,251 --> 00:26:18,047
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
477
00:26:18,151 --> 00:26:19,048
but it was useless.
478
00:26:19,152 --> 00:26:20,705
Just pictures of women.
479
00:26:20,808 --> 00:26:25,399
Look, I, too, wish your dear
old dead archaeologist husband
480
00:26:25,503 --> 00:26:28,230
was here to help, but he's not, so,
481
00:26:28,333 --> 00:26:31,440
time to shine, Loretta,
sex-book writer.
482
00:26:32,855 --> 00:26:34,581
They will come for me.
483
00:26:35,168 --> 00:26:36,893
Who, exactly?
484
00:26:36,997 --> 00:26:38,723
Your... Your many cats?
485
00:26:38,826 --> 00:26:40,621
Oh, I don't have cats.
486
00:26:41,208 --> 00:26:43,037
Somehow even more sad.
487
00:26:43,141 --> 00:26:46,110
I have a hamster, asshole!
488
00:26:46,213 --> 00:26:47,870
You have a hamster's asshole?
489
00:26:47,973 --> 00:26:51,736
No, there was a... there was
a comma between... Forget it.
490
00:26:51,839 --> 00:26:55,257
I bet your brother never
had to kidnap anyone!
491
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,585
Good to see you, man.
492
00:27:47,688 --> 00:27:49,311
- Phone.
- Right.
493
00:28:01,185 --> 00:28:02,427
What?
494
00:28:02,531 --> 00:28:05,119
Yeah, I was thinking
that I could, you know,
495
00:28:05,223 --> 00:28:06,811
maybe just sort of come with you.
496
00:28:06,914 --> 00:28:08,675
- Why?
- To help.
497
00:28:08,778 --> 00:28:12,920
I know CPR. I know some
light karate. CrossFit certified.
498
00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:14,543
Okay, okay, listen, listen!
499
00:28:15,406 --> 00:28:17,097
I just... It's my fault.
500
00:28:17,201 --> 00:28:19,306
Not the kidnapping and stuff,
501
00:28:19,410 --> 00:28:22,482
but, like, I said some really
mean stuff to her, and I regret it,
502
00:28:22,585 --> 00:28:24,208
and I just need to take it back.
503
00:28:24,311 --> 00:28:25,692
I called her a human mummy.
504
00:28:27,038 --> 00:28:28,453
Mummies are human.
505
00:28:29,109 --> 00:28:31,525
I'm aware of that now, yes.
506
00:28:31,629 --> 00:28:34,666
That is true.
507
00:28:34,770 --> 00:28:35,771
Please.
508
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:39,740
All right, Alan, I can't
be responsible for you.
509
00:28:40,707 --> 00:28:41,708
Okay. Yeah.
510
00:28:41,811 --> 00:28:44,780
- I need you to stay in the car.
- Yeah.
511
00:28:44,883 --> 00:28:46,989
- In the car.
- In the car.
512
00:28:47,092 --> 00:28:49,543
- The whole time.
- The whole time?
513
00:28:49,647 --> 00:28:50,889
Whole time.
514
00:28:50,993 --> 00:28:52,236
Mm-hmm.
515
00:28:53,996 --> 00:28:55,273
Yes!
516
00:29:02,211 --> 00:29:03,557
This is me.
517
00:29:04,455 --> 00:29:06,733
Really? Is this what
the SEAL teams use?
518
00:29:06,836 --> 00:29:09,494
"Only a fool chooses
a horse by its color."
519
00:29:09,598 --> 00:29:12,394
Right, right. The Tao-te Ching?
520
00:29:12,497 --> 00:29:15,638
No, it was on the sign back
there at the rental place.
521
00:29:24,164 --> 00:29:25,372
Thank you.
522
00:29:58,198 --> 00:29:59,648
What? What?
523
00:30:01,891 --> 00:30:03,893
I was hoping to
invite you to breakfast,
524
00:30:03,997 --> 00:30:06,655
but it looks like you
still have work to do.
525
00:30:07,621 --> 00:30:09,382
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
526
00:30:09,485 --> 00:30:11,004
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
527
00:30:11,107 --> 00:30:13,109
I believe this says
528
00:30:13,213 --> 00:30:15,215
"rest" or "resting."
529
00:30:15,319 --> 00:30:18,218
So it would be, "Kalaman
and his treasure..."
530
00:30:18,322 --> 00:30:22,809
And then there are some missing
pieces, and then "rest," "resting,"
531
00:30:22,912 --> 00:30:26,330
and something about "tears," so...
532
00:30:28,124 --> 00:30:29,125
Resting where?
533
00:30:29,229 --> 00:30:30,437
Hmm? Oh!
534
00:30:30,541 --> 00:30:33,302
Didn't say. It doesn't say.
535
00:30:34,648 --> 00:30:37,651
Miss Sage, I need you to do better.
536
00:30:37,755 --> 00:30:41,206
Then next time maybe don't
kidnap a romance novelist, hmm?
537
00:30:41,310 --> 00:30:43,519
My God, this shouldn't be this hard!
538
00:30:43,623 --> 00:30:45,556
It is not some pauper's
grave we're looking for.
539
00:30:45,659 --> 00:30:47,937
It is a monument to a great man!
540
00:30:48,041 --> 00:30:49,974
King Kalaman was
ambitious, he was powerful,
541
00:30:50,077 --> 00:30:52,528
he was the first man to
build a city in the Atlantic.
542
00:30:52,632 --> 00:30:55,289
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
543
00:30:55,393 --> 00:30:58,638
He would have had a
pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower
544
00:30:58,741 --> 00:31:00,709
to hold his Crown of Fire.
545
00:31:00,812 --> 00:31:03,712
All I need to know is where it is.
546
00:31:03,815 --> 00:31:07,060
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
547
00:31:07,163 --> 00:31:09,303
I-I translated it.
548
00:31:10,097 --> 00:31:11,685
Translate it again.
549
00:31:17,311 --> 00:31:20,349
One day, we're gonna laugh about this.
550
00:31:20,453 --> 00:31:22,593
Such an adventure we're having.
551
00:31:25,699 --> 00:31:30,048
I should go with you, just
for backup and awesomeness.
552
00:31:31,015 --> 00:31:32,672
This is pretty awesome.
553
00:31:32,775 --> 00:31:35,433
You got nature, the radio.
554
00:31:36,572 --> 00:31:40,196
Yeah, you're right, but it's
very, very important to me
555
00:31:40,300 --> 00:31:42,164
that she knows that
I came to rescue her.
556
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:43,959
Why? Do you like this woman?
557
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:47,169
No, I just brought snacks and stuff.
558
00:31:47,272 --> 00:31:49,447
And she gets a little
grumpy when she's hungry.
559
00:31:49,551 --> 00:31:52,968
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
560
00:31:53,071 --> 00:31:55,867
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
561
00:31:55,971 --> 00:31:57,662
- No.
- No. Yeah.
562
00:31:57,766 --> 00:31:59,492
You don't need it.
563
00:31:59,595 --> 00:32:01,079
What is it?
564
00:32:01,183 --> 00:32:04,773
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
565
00:32:04,876 --> 00:32:09,122
But, Alan, you are so much
more. You're my lookout.
566
00:32:09,225 --> 00:32:12,574
Okay, can I at least do the
part where I put her in the car
567
00:32:12,677 --> 00:32:16,405
and I just go, "Shh. You're safe now"?
568
00:32:17,475 --> 00:32:19,477
Sure, champ. She'll love that.
569
00:32:19,581 --> 00:32:21,445
Oh, you're just going? Going to start?
570
00:32:21,548 --> 00:32:23,964
You're starting the mission now? Okay.
571
00:32:48,161 --> 00:32:50,370
Oh!
572
00:32:59,413 --> 00:33:00,898
Go to sleep.
573
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:30,859
- Alan.
- What?
574
00:33:30,962 --> 00:33:32,723
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
575
00:33:32,826 --> 00:33:34,379
I can help. Let me help.
576
00:33:37,762 --> 00:33:40,420
Stay close. Stay alive.
577
00:33:45,287 --> 00:33:46,530
Hey.
578
00:33:51,465 --> 00:33:52,984
Go to sleep.
579
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:59,473
I got his head. What do I do with his
head? I'm just gonna set him down.
580
00:34:05,618 --> 00:34:06,826
No.
581
00:34:07,412 --> 00:34:08,586
Hey, hey, no!
582
00:34:08,690 --> 00:34:09,898
No, no, no!
583
00:34:17,457 --> 00:34:19,286
Ooh, yeah! Ooh.
584
00:34:19,390 --> 00:34:20,356
Ow.
585
00:34:20,460 --> 00:34:22,013
Teamwork, yeah!
586
00:34:22,117 --> 00:34:25,396
Great effort, Alan, but that
man was already unconscious.
587
00:34:25,499 --> 00:34:27,191
I was already wound up.
588
00:34:28,123 --> 00:34:30,884
Just don't do it when I'm...
589
00:34:33,956 --> 00:34:35,233
Hi.
590
00:34:37,477 --> 00:34:39,203
Oh!
591
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,102
On your seven!
592
00:34:47,038 --> 00:34:48,108
Oh!
593
00:34:52,906 --> 00:34:54,839
Trainer, he's not asleep!
594
00:34:54,943 --> 00:34:57,117
Stay... Stay down. Stay down.
595
00:34:59,775 --> 00:35:02,295
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
596
00:35:02,398 --> 00:35:03,917
Where you going?
597
00:35:12,063 --> 00:35:13,547
Loretta Sage?
598
00:35:14,031 --> 00:35:14,825
Yes.
599
00:35:14,928 --> 00:35:16,792
I'm getting you out of here.
600
00:35:17,828 --> 00:35:20,865
- Why are you so handsome?
- My dad was a weatherman.
601
00:35:23,074 --> 00:35:23,903
A-Alan?
602
00:35:24,006 --> 00:35:26,043
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
603
00:35:26,146 --> 00:35:28,942
- Uh, irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
604
00:35:29,046 --> 00:35:31,289
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
605
00:35:32,705 --> 00:35:36,674
Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there,
Trainer? I think she's fine there.
606
00:35:36,778 --> 00:35:39,953
No, no, leave it. Don't take
their stuff. They'll come after us.
607
00:35:42,611 --> 00:35:44,164
Alan, why do you keep doing that?
608
00:35:44,268 --> 00:35:46,235
Why do you keep doing
that? I had that one.
609
00:35:46,339 --> 00:35:48,859
It's just getting mean
now. It's unnecessary.
610
00:35:48,962 --> 00:35:50,723
I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in.
611
00:35:50,826 --> 00:35:53,118
Excuse me. Would it be possible
to remove me from the chair?
612
00:35:53,142 --> 00:35:53,898
No time.
613
00:35:54,002 --> 00:35:56,418
No time? There's been so much chitchat.
614
00:35:56,521 --> 00:35:57,833
We should definitely go.
615
00:35:57,937 --> 00:35:59,559
Let's go! Let's go!
616
00:36:25,412 --> 00:36:26,551
Why are things exploding?
617
00:36:34,214 --> 00:36:35,250
I got...
618
00:36:36,907 --> 00:36:38,115
Okay.
619
00:36:39,012 --> 00:36:40,289
Shh...
620
00:36:40,393 --> 00:36:42,291
Shh. You're safe now.
621
00:36:42,395 --> 00:36:43,534
You're...
622
00:36:43,637 --> 00:36:45,778
How... How are you so calm?
623
00:36:45,881 --> 00:36:48,366
- That was my... That was my line.
- Here.
624
00:36:50,506 --> 00:36:52,405
- What?
- Is that Reiki?
625
00:36:52,508 --> 00:36:54,959
- Are you healing me?
- I think so.
626
00:36:55,063 --> 00:36:58,273
- Ah.
- As Laozi says, "To the mind that is still..."
627
00:36:58,376 --> 00:37:01,276
- "...the whole universe surrenders."
- Hey, yeah, I know some...
628
00:37:01,379 --> 00:37:04,175
I know some, um, quotes that
could be good for this moment.
629
00:37:04,279 --> 00:37:06,005
In omnia paratus.
630
00:37:06,902 --> 00:37:08,766
"Ready for anything."
631
00:37:08,870 --> 00:37:11,527
Maybe we shouldn't be just
staring lovingly into each other's eyes
632
00:37:11,631 --> 00:37:15,083
like you're gonna fall
in love like I'm not here.
633
00:37:15,635 --> 00:37:16,601
Who are you?
634
00:37:16,705 --> 00:37:19,432
Just a guy trying to do his job.
635
00:37:19,535 --> 00:37:22,331
And right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
636
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,678
Oh! Oh.
637
00:37:24,782 --> 00:37:26,680
Oh, God. Okay.
638
00:37:27,854 --> 00:37:30,063
No. What is happening?
639
00:37:33,515 --> 00:37:35,482
Okay. What do we do?
640
00:37:35,586 --> 00:37:37,691
We need to do... I can't see.
641
00:37:37,795 --> 00:37:39,210
I don't like it!
642
00:37:39,314 --> 00:37:40,798
Here. Here!
643
00:37:40,902 --> 00:37:43,352
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
644
00:37:44,733 --> 00:37:47,563
- Get me out of the chair.
- I can't. We don't have time.
645
00:37:51,119 --> 00:37:53,190
Gotta squeeze! You got
to do a Kegel or something!
646
00:37:53,293 --> 00:37:55,675
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a Kegel is?
647
00:37:55,779 --> 00:37:58,160
I'm not in it, not in! Still not in!
648
00:37:58,264 --> 00:38:00,645
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
649
00:38:00,749 --> 00:38:02,751
Oh, oh, oh!
650
00:38:02,855 --> 00:38:06,375
Oh, God. Get in the car, get in
the car! Start the car! Start the car!
651
00:38:06,479 --> 00:38:07,756
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
652
00:38:07,860 --> 00:38:10,172
- Which one?
- Both of them! Move them!
653
00:38:13,935 --> 00:38:15,902
- Forward, forward!
- Okay. Okay.
654
00:38:16,006 --> 00:38:20,320
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
655
00:38:21,459 --> 00:38:25,084
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
656
00:38:26,740 --> 00:38:28,121
Ow.
657
00:38:28,225 --> 00:38:30,365
- Shh. You're safe now.
- No, I'm not. Not safe.
658
00:38:30,468 --> 00:38:32,229
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
659
00:38:32,332 --> 00:38:35,335
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, no, that's a lot of blood.
660
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:38,476
Cheese and rice!
661
00:38:38,580 --> 00:38:40,064
- Are those his brains?
- What?
662
00:38:40,168 --> 00:38:42,135
I think his brains are on my face!
663
00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:45,863
Definitely his brains are in my
mouth. I can taste his thoughts!
664
00:38:45,967 --> 00:38:47,175
Focus on the road.
665
00:38:47,278 --> 00:38:49,418
He just liked training people. Trainer.
666
00:38:49,522 --> 00:38:52,387
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
667
00:38:52,490 --> 00:38:55,079
Can you just scooch
the car over to the left?
668
00:38:55,183 --> 00:38:58,911
- Get it off. Get it off.
- Oh, God.
669
00:38:59,014 --> 00:39:00,291
Watch out!
670
00:39:04,502 --> 00:39:07,402
Oh! Oh! Oh!
671
00:39:09,645 --> 00:39:11,406
Oh, did you see...
672
00:39:14,374 --> 00:39:15,410
No.
673
00:39:20,829 --> 00:39:22,141
Oh.
674
00:39:23,590 --> 00:39:25,903
Oh, no. Oh, no.
675
00:39:26,455 --> 00:39:27,940
Oh, no.
676
00:39:36,362 --> 00:39:37,915
Oh, no.
677
00:39:38,605 --> 00:39:40,400
Alan?
678
00:39:40,504 --> 00:39:44,094
Oh, holy Christmas. Are
you okay? Are you okay?
679
00:39:44,197 --> 00:39:46,268
Do you think you could
get me out of here?
680
00:39:46,372 --> 00:39:47,925
Yeah. Okay.
681
00:39:48,029 --> 00:39:50,928
- You just flew out of the car.
- I did. I did, indeed.
682
00:39:51,032 --> 00:39:52,481
Okay. I got you. I got you.
683
00:39:52,585 --> 00:39:55,036
Can you get me out of the
chair? Get me out of the chair.
684
00:39:55,139 --> 00:39:56,969
You're right. You're
right. You're right.
685
00:39:58,315 --> 00:40:00,144
- Is that... Is that a nail filer?
- Yeah.
686
00:40:00,248 --> 00:40:01,732
- Can you just rip it?
- It's working.
687
00:40:01,835 --> 00:40:03,630
And maybe next time
I toss a gun at you,
688
00:40:03,734 --> 00:40:05,632
you can catch it instead of ducking.
689
00:40:05,736 --> 00:40:08,946
How about the next time you toss a
gun at me, you say, "Hey, Alan, catch"?
690
00:40:09,050 --> 00:40:10,914
Then maybe do that before you throw it?
691
00:40:11,017 --> 00:40:13,123
Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch."
692
00:40:13,226 --> 00:40:14,745
No, "here" is not a
cinnamon for "catch."
693
00:40:14,848 --> 00:40:16,920
In a colloquial kind
of way, yes, it is.
694
00:40:17,023 --> 00:40:19,129
You say, "Here," I
toss you a sweatshirt.
695
00:40:19,232 --> 00:40:21,234
You say, "Here," I toss you a pen.
696
00:40:21,338 --> 00:40:24,410
How 'bout just, "Hey! Catch! Gun!"
697
00:40:24,513 --> 00:40:27,516
Anything that you want to throw, I'll
catch it because you said, "Catch."
698
00:40:27,620 --> 00:40:29,380
And I'll catch it because you said it.
699
00:40:29,484 --> 00:40:31,900
That is also an option, and
then we would have a gun with us.
700
00:40:32,004 --> 00:40:33,108
That's a thing.
701
00:40:33,212 --> 00:40:35,490
- Be careful.
- Okay, we need to call...
702
00:40:35,593 --> 00:40:37,250
Be careful.
703
00:40:37,354 --> 00:40:39,873
We need to call for help, get to
the airport and get out of here.
704
00:40:39,977 --> 00:40:41,979
And I am driving.Okay.
705
00:40:44,188 --> 00:40:47,053
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
706
00:40:56,787 --> 00:40:59,169
Okay, call for... call for help.
707
00:40:59,272 --> 00:41:01,067
Where's your phone?
708
00:41:04,450 --> 00:41:05,485
Okay.
709
00:41:09,110 --> 00:41:11,940
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
710
00:41:13,597 --> 00:41:16,427
Oh, Loretta.
711
00:41:16,531 --> 00:41:18,602
What are you thinking?
712
00:41:18,705 --> 00:41:21,812
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
713
00:41:21,915 --> 00:41:25,574
And he is clearly
skilled, highly trained
714
00:41:26,575 --> 00:41:28,232
and very dangerous.
715
00:41:38,035 --> 00:41:42,108
So, Miss Sage said she
was gonna leave the event,
716
00:41:42,212 --> 00:41:46,871
then got in a car and left the event?
717
00:41:46,975 --> 00:41:49,667
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
718
00:41:49,771 --> 00:41:51,186
- Stolen phone.
- Didn't say that.
719
00:41:51,290 --> 00:41:53,050
Where's my magnifier?
720
00:41:53,154 --> 00:41:55,156
Listen, can you please help with Nana?
721
00:41:55,259 --> 00:41:57,641
I don't want her hearing about
Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her.
722
00:41:57,744 --> 00:42:00,816
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
723
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:02,197
Good. Yeah.
724
00:42:02,301 --> 00:42:04,751
That girl needed to
get out of the house.
725
00:42:04,855 --> 00:42:09,032
So, this is the thing. Loretta's
phone is not stolen. I took it.
726
00:42:09,135 --> 00:42:13,588
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave
it to the trainer, uh, Jack Trainer.
727
00:42:13,691 --> 00:42:15,969
And that is how we found her wearable.
728
00:42:16,073 --> 00:42:17,764
- And who's Alan?
- Dash.
729
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:20,698
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
730
00:42:20,802 --> 00:42:23,839
- Nana. Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
731
00:42:23,943 --> 00:42:26,877
Let's go in the other room and talk
about whichever war you lived through.
732
00:42:26,980 --> 00:42:30,122
Okay. Come on, it'll be
fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
733
00:42:30,225 --> 00:42:32,158
Listen, Loretta Sage is missing.
734
00:42:32,262 --> 00:42:34,471
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
735
00:42:34,574 --> 00:42:36,231
to some island I've
never even heard about.
736
00:42:36,335 --> 00:42:38,061
That means y'all need to
do something about this.
737
00:42:38,164 --> 00:42:40,546
And if you can't, I will, and
that won't look good for you.
738
00:42:40,649 --> 00:42:43,376
Pretty sure that's
outside our jurisdiction.
739
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,517
- You'd have to call the Feds.
- Okay.
740
00:42:46,621 --> 00:42:49,002
And if you do go to the Feds,
put in a good word for me.
741
00:42:49,106 --> 00:42:51,488
- For me.
- For us.
742
00:42:57,114 --> 00:42:58,633
Oh, oh.
743
00:43:05,674 --> 00:43:07,918
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
744
00:43:08,021 --> 00:43:10,231
Well... we could...
745
00:43:26,143 --> 00:43:28,835
- Where did you say the phone was?
- Passenger glove.
746
00:43:28,939 --> 00:43:30,699
- What?
- Passenger glove compartment.
747
00:43:30,803 --> 00:43:32,045
Goodness.
748
00:43:33,150 --> 00:43:34,669
Oh, my God.
749
00:43:34,772 --> 00:43:37,016
Oh, my God. No phone, no
car. We're so gonna die out...
750
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:38,845
- Here.
- What is this?
751
00:43:38,949 --> 00:43:40,606
Boots for the jungle.
752
00:43:41,469 --> 00:43:43,298
It's not exactly hiking boots, but...
753
00:43:43,402 --> 00:43:46,059
I figured your feet would be killing
you after wearing heels for this long.
754
00:43:46,163 --> 00:43:48,510
It was the best we could
do. They're Allison's. Sorry.
755
00:43:49,304 --> 00:43:51,375
Oh. Okay, well, thank you.
756
00:43:51,479 --> 00:43:53,274
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
757
00:43:53,377 --> 00:43:55,172
- Oh, my God.
- You got to stay hydrated.
758
00:43:55,276 --> 00:43:57,243
- Thank you so much.
- They didn't have glass bottles,
759
00:43:57,347 --> 00:43:59,349
so we'll definitely hold
onto it and recycle.
760
00:44:01,937 --> 00:44:06,632
Okay, so what we need to do is find a
phone, we need to call the authorities,
761
00:44:06,735 --> 00:44:09,635
and we need to wait here until
somebody comes and rescues us.
762
00:44:09,738 --> 00:44:13,259
Uh... This... This is the rescue.
763
00:44:13,363 --> 00:44:14,640
No one else is coming.
764
00:44:14,743 --> 00:44:16,711
- I'm sorry?
- I'm the rescue.
765
00:44:16,814 --> 00:44:19,748
It was originally just gonna be me,
then I was like, Trainer should come.
766
00:44:19,852 --> 00:44:21,578
Oh, Trainer. Rest in peace.
767
00:44:21,681 --> 00:44:25,927
So, our best bet is to get to the
airport. See this road right here?
768
00:44:26,030 --> 00:44:28,723
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
769
00:44:28,826 --> 00:44:30,725
Did you just say "shortcut
through the jungle"?
770
00:44:30,828 --> 00:44:32,347
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you see us?
771
00:44:32,451 --> 00:44:34,970
- Uh-huh.
- You are not Dash, and I'm not Lovemore. Okay?
772
00:44:35,074 --> 00:44:36,489
I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
773
00:44:36,593 --> 00:44:38,905
- And jungles eat people like us, okay?
- Eat people.
774
00:44:39,009 --> 00:44:42,323
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
775
00:44:42,426 --> 00:44:44,359
We're not just gonna
stand around here, okay?
776
00:44:44,463 --> 00:44:45,843
We're gonna go through the jungle,
777
00:44:45,947 --> 00:44:48,052
we're gonna go to the
airport and find a phone,
778
00:44:48,156 --> 00:44:50,251
so you can have your cake
and get what you want.
779
00:44:50,275 --> 00:44:51,159
"And eat it too"?
780
00:44:51,263 --> 00:44:53,713
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
781
00:44:53,817 --> 00:44:55,750
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
782
00:44:55,853 --> 00:44:58,304
I don't know what your people
do, but my people eat it.
783
00:44:58,408 --> 00:45:00,617
You could give it to someone as a gift.
784
00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:02,929
Those people are still
going to eat the cake.
785
00:45:03,033 --> 00:45:04,586
Everybody eats cake.
786
00:45:04,690 --> 00:45:06,519
What about the kind people jump out of?
787
00:45:06,623 --> 00:45:09,557
- They don't eat it, when they're in it.
- Oh, my God.
788
00:45:35,859 --> 00:45:37,447
What did they kidnap you for anyhow?
789
00:45:37,550 --> 00:45:39,414
Is it some weird sex stuff like Taken?
790
00:45:39,518 --> 00:45:41,071
Oh, my God, thank you.
791
00:45:41,174 --> 00:45:43,901
I thought so too, but the
guy's one of the Fairfaxes.
792
00:45:44,005 --> 00:45:45,834
- Beverly?
- No, the older one.
793
00:45:45,938 --> 00:45:49,390
The really odd one that had the
vlog on finding Montezuma's treasure.
794
00:45:49,493 --> 00:45:51,909
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
795
00:45:52,013 --> 00:45:53,808
Yes, he's looking
for the Crown of Fire.
796
00:45:53,911 --> 00:45:57,881
Wait a minute. Like the actual
Crown of Fire? Like the one...
797
00:45:57,984 --> 00:46:01,333
- So those ruins were...
- They were the Lost City of D, yes.
798
00:46:01,436 --> 00:46:03,749
- What? Are you kidding me right now?
- Shh.
799
00:46:03,852 --> 00:46:05,302
This is like your book.
800
00:46:05,406 --> 00:46:08,236
So we're basically on a Lovemore
and Dash adventure right now?
801
00:46:08,340 --> 00:46:10,342
What is that?
802
00:46:10,445 --> 00:46:12,930
What if Fairfax
actually finds the crown?
803
00:46:13,034 --> 00:46:14,415
He won't. He won't.
804
00:46:16,589 --> 00:46:17,694
- Where do we go?
- Uh...
805
00:46:17,797 --> 00:46:19,765
Oh, oh, oh.
806
00:46:22,837 --> 00:46:24,977
Okay, uh, we need to get in the water.
807
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,186
- W-What?
- We need to go by river.
808
00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:29,119
No, no, I don't really do water.
809
00:46:29,222 --> 00:46:31,570
What do you mean, "do water"? I'm
not asking you to procreate with it.
810
00:46:31,673 --> 00:46:34,124
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
811
00:46:34,227 --> 00:46:36,575
How do you feel about dying? Oh, God.
812
00:46:36,678 --> 00:46:38,542
Hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're okay. You're okay.
813
00:46:38,646 --> 00:46:41,476
- I got you. Fine.
- I can swim. I can swim. Thank you very much.
814
00:46:41,580 --> 00:46:43,651
- Where are you going?
- I'm crossing.
815
00:46:43,754 --> 00:46:45,722
No, we have to stay in the water.
816
00:46:45,825 --> 00:46:48,276
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, A Year in the Bush.
817
00:46:48,380 --> 00:46:50,382
They'll lose our tracks in the water.
818
00:46:50,485 --> 00:46:53,281
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
819
00:46:53,385 --> 00:46:55,387
Just go around it.
820
00:47:24,174 --> 00:47:25,693
Okay, I think...
821
00:47:25,796 --> 00:47:27,695
I think we lost them, right?
822
00:47:27,798 --> 00:47:30,801
Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah.
823
00:47:30,905 --> 00:47:32,562
Okay, uh...
824
00:47:32,665 --> 00:47:35,081
- Don't panic.
- What do you mean, don't panic?
825
00:47:35,185 --> 00:47:36,393
- Just don't panic.
- No.
826
00:47:36,497 --> 00:47:38,257
Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now.
827
00:47:38,361 --> 00:47:40,224
You have something on your back.
828
00:47:41,743 --> 00:47:42,537
No!
829
00:47:42,641 --> 00:47:44,125
- Stop screaming.
- What is that?
830
00:47:44,228 --> 00:47:45,471
- What is that?
- Stop screaming.
831
00:47:45,575 --> 00:47:47,024
- Do you have any on you?
- No. No.
832
00:47:47,128 --> 00:47:48,578
Why don't you have any on you?
833
00:47:48,681 --> 00:47:50,476
Maybe the jumpsuit scared
them off. I don't know.
834
00:47:50,580 --> 00:47:52,098
- Get 'em off.
- Oh, my God.
835
00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:54,722
Okay. No, I can't touch those
blood-gorged mucous sacks.
836
00:47:54,825 --> 00:47:56,275
- Can you fling it?
- Right now.
837
00:47:56,379 --> 00:47:57,759
- Get it.
- Just pick it and fling it.
838
00:47:57,863 --> 00:47:59,761
- Just pick it and fling it.
- You pick it and fling it!
839
00:47:59,865 --> 00:48:01,936
- Can you spin it off?
- Please, get it off.
840
00:48:02,039 --> 00:48:04,076
I don't like touching
it. I'm feeling faint.
841
00:48:04,179 --> 00:48:07,286
- They're sucking my soul out.
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
842
00:48:08,943 --> 00:48:11,186
Don't make that sound.
843
00:48:14,776 --> 00:48:16,260
How many of them are there?
844
00:48:16,364 --> 00:48:17,883
Oh, there's not many.
845
00:48:17,986 --> 00:48:19,988
- It feels like there's so many.
- What are you...
846
00:48:20,092 --> 00:48:21,404
- I feel so many.
- Oh!
847
00:48:21,507 --> 00:48:24,061
- Holy mother of God!
- Why are you praying?
848
00:48:24,165 --> 00:48:27,202
Is it that bad? It can't be that
bad. Is it that bad? How many?
849
00:48:27,306 --> 00:48:28,549
It's not great.
850
00:48:28,652 --> 00:48:30,309
They're gonna suck every bit of me out.
851
00:48:30,413 --> 00:48:33,070
Just please stop speaking. I
just need to... need to get low.
852
00:48:33,174 --> 00:48:34,900
Hold on a second.
853
00:48:35,003 --> 00:48:37,799
Oh, God! I can feel them just...
they're just sucking out so much.
854
00:48:37,903 --> 00:48:40,768
I'm gonna be like a shriveled-up
skin sack when they're done.
855
00:48:40,871 --> 00:48:42,839
You cannot tell my dad
I died this way, okay?
856
00:48:42,942 --> 00:48:46,981
You gotta tell him I was wrestling an
anaconda with a sword or something.
857
00:48:47,084 --> 00:48:49,880
I'm like a blood Jamba Juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
858
00:48:49,984 --> 00:48:51,606
Why are they all on my butt though?
859
00:48:51,710 --> 00:48:54,333
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
860
00:48:54,437 --> 00:48:56,162
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
861
00:48:56,266 --> 00:48:57,854
Why do you go to food right now?
862
00:48:57,957 --> 00:49:00,822
Just find the queen, and
let's be done with this.
863
00:49:00,926 --> 00:49:03,273
Think you're good. I need
to just check your front.
864
00:49:03,376 --> 00:49:05,620
Okay. I can't look.
865
00:49:07,864 --> 00:49:09,175
Is it bad?
866
00:49:09,279 --> 00:49:12,385
- Uh, wow.
- What is it? Just say it.
867
00:49:12,489 --> 00:49:15,837
I mean, you expect
it to, you know, not...
868
00:49:15,941 --> 00:49:18,668
Then suddenly there
it is, and it is, uh...
869
00:49:18,771 --> 00:49:21,015
- You know, you get excited for a person.
- What?
870
00:49:21,118 --> 00:49:23,742
- I mean, I'm excited for all people.
- Why are you excited?
871
00:49:23,845 --> 00:49:26,158
Well, you know, people
wonder, they wonder,
872
00:49:26,261 --> 00:49:27,884
but they don't know, right?
873
00:49:27,987 --> 00:49:30,473
They don't, until
suddenly they do know,
874
00:49:30,576 --> 00:49:34,891
and then they... they know
something that wasn't known before.
875
00:49:34,994 --> 00:49:36,858
Just... Do I have any leeches or not?
876
00:49:36,962 --> 00:49:41,069
Oh, your plucky warrior
hangs in tranquil solitude.
877
00:49:41,173 --> 00:49:42,277
What?
878
00:49:42,381 --> 00:49:44,521
No, you're good. You're good.
879
00:49:45,660 --> 00:49:47,386
We were so brave just then.
880
00:49:47,490 --> 00:49:49,733
Why do they go for the butt so much?
881
00:50:11,030 --> 00:50:13,895
What's that song you're singing?
882
00:50:13,999 --> 00:50:17,002
A song my abbi used to
sing to me when I was a kid.
883
00:50:17,968 --> 00:50:20,626
"If you suck life from the island...
884
00:50:20,730 --> 00:50:23,526
...the island will suck of you."
885
00:50:23,629 --> 00:50:27,564
Your grandma sang you songs about
getting sucked off by an island?
886
00:50:27,668 --> 00:50:30,015
It doesn't translate super well.
887
00:50:30,912 --> 00:50:33,743
Is phantom leech
syndrome, like, a thing?
888
00:50:33,846 --> 00:50:35,848
They don't lay eggs, do they?
889
00:51:24,966 --> 00:51:26,174
Queen Taha?
890
00:51:39,774 --> 00:51:44,158
"King Kalaman and his
treasure laid to rest..."
891
00:51:45,090 --> 00:51:48,749
laid to rest in the
well of endless tears.
892
00:51:48,852 --> 00:51:50,785
"Laid to rest in the
well of endless tears."
893
00:51:50,889 --> 00:51:52,753
- What does that mean?
- Loretta!
894
00:51:53,443 --> 00:51:55,169
You gave me a heart attack.
895
00:51:55,859 --> 00:51:57,516
Where'd you go?
896
00:52:01,589 --> 00:52:03,142
What is this?
897
00:52:03,246 --> 00:52:06,490
I'm not sure, but maybe
they gathered here?
898
00:52:09,045 --> 00:52:11,703
Can you imagine being right here,
899
00:52:11,806 --> 00:52:14,464
right in this very spot back then?
900
00:52:14,567 --> 00:52:16,293
The stories that they told?
901
00:52:16,397 --> 00:52:19,158
So much history I'm
sure happened right here.
902
00:52:24,474 --> 00:52:25,855
They've got us cornered.
903
00:52:25,958 --> 00:52:27,650
- Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.
- What?
904
00:52:27,753 --> 00:52:30,860
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
905
00:52:30,963 --> 00:52:33,932
There's nowhere to go
but up. Come on. Let's go.
906
00:52:34,035 --> 00:52:37,590
Oh! I should not be doing
this. I'm too old for this.
907
00:52:37,694 --> 00:52:38,799
No, you're not. You're beautiful.
908
00:52:38,902 --> 00:52:40,559
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
909
00:52:40,663 --> 00:52:42,561
I said I'm too old to be doing this.
910
00:52:42,665 --> 00:52:46,289
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
911
00:52:46,392 --> 00:52:48,809
Yeah, you definitely could be
wearing better shoes for this.
912
00:52:48,912 --> 00:52:50,811
You brought me these shoes.
913
00:52:50,914 --> 00:52:53,468
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
914
00:52:53,572 --> 00:52:55,298
I'm not doing so great here.
915
00:52:55,401 --> 00:52:56,817
You got it. Come on.
916
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:58,784
I know you think that
you're safer holding on,
917
00:52:58,888 --> 00:53:00,165
but you have to keep going.
918
00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:02,167
- I can't. I can't, I can't.
- Okay?
919
00:53:02,961 --> 00:53:04,410
- Do you smell that?
- Smell what?
920
00:53:04,514 --> 00:53:06,274
- I smell something.
- Is it a predator? What is it?
921
00:53:06,378 --> 00:53:08,311
- A downward cascading fire?
- You got to smell deeper.
922
00:53:08,414 --> 00:53:09,588
I don't smell anything!
923
00:53:13,005 --> 00:53:16,250
Take a big, deep breath.
924
00:53:16,353 --> 00:53:17,665
All right.
925
00:53:17,769 --> 00:53:19,391
Good job.Okay.
926
00:53:19,494 --> 00:53:23,119
- That was manipulative. Thank you.
- Yeah, it was.
927
00:53:23,222 --> 00:53:25,708
Here we go. I'm gonna help
you out a little bit, all right?
928
00:53:25,811 --> 00:53:27,882
- One, two, three... Here we go!
- What are you doing?
929
00:53:27,986 --> 00:53:29,366
- Get out of there.
- Come on.
930
00:53:29,470 --> 00:53:31,541
- No, no, don't flex.
- That's my hoo-hoo.
931
00:53:31,644 --> 00:53:34,578
Just ride the head. Keep the
hands moving and ride the head.
932
00:53:34,682 --> 00:53:35,994
- Oh, God.
- You're doing great.
933
00:53:36,097 --> 00:53:38,755
Sorry about the scratchy
haircut. Come on.
934
00:53:58,844 --> 00:54:01,088
Dulcius ex asperis.
935
00:54:01,674 --> 00:54:03,055
What was that?
936
00:54:03,159 --> 00:54:04,677
Oh, nothing.
937
00:54:04,781 --> 00:54:07,025
It was just something
that John and I would say
938
00:54:07,128 --> 00:54:10,269
after we finished
something big, like a...
939
00:54:10,373 --> 00:54:12,340
like an archaeological
dig or a manuscript.
940
00:54:12,444 --> 00:54:15,758
It's Latin. It means
"sweeter after difficulty."
941
00:54:16,897 --> 00:54:18,277
What's...
942
00:54:18,381 --> 00:54:20,314
What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"?
943
00:54:20,417 --> 00:54:24,905
I am a badass. I climbed a mountain.
944
00:54:25,008 --> 00:54:27,977
Oh, my God. I wish Beth
could've seen us do this.
945
00:54:28,080 --> 00:54:30,911
- Oh, God. Beth.
- Don't worry about Beth.
946
00:54:31,014 --> 00:54:34,500
She's probably got the whole
navy after us right now.
947
00:54:34,604 --> 00:54:37,676
I get that you think you have to
go to the island authorities yourself,
948
00:54:37,780 --> 00:54:41,197
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
949
00:54:41,300 --> 00:54:43,682
Just tweeted, "Did I
just get kidnapped?
950
00:54:43,786 --> 00:54:47,306
#FML, @ShawnMendes, #ShawnMendes."
951
00:54:47,410 --> 00:54:49,067
And you're traveling alone?
952
00:54:49,170 --> 00:54:52,001
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
953
00:54:52,587 --> 00:54:53,796
Then this might work.
954
00:54:53,899 --> 00:54:55,728
- Okay! Talk to me.
- You'll hit New York.
955
00:54:55,832 --> 00:54:59,353
From there, you'll fly to Guinea, where
you can pick up a puddle jumper.
956
00:54:59,456 --> 00:55:00,526
A what?
957
00:55:01,458 --> 00:55:02,943
- Small plane.
- Yeah, no leg room.
958
00:55:03,046 --> 00:55:04,220
That's fine. I'll take it.
959
00:55:04,323 --> 00:55:06,360
- Or you could just come home.
- Thank you.
960
00:55:14,230 --> 00:55:16,715
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
961
00:55:16,819 --> 00:55:18,337
What's in here? What's in your bag?
962
00:55:18,441 --> 00:55:20,305
- Uh...
- Oh, a lot. Okay.
963
00:55:20,408 --> 00:55:21,858
What are you doing?
964
00:55:21,962 --> 00:55:23,826
Okay. Face masks.
965
00:55:23,929 --> 00:55:25,344
Yeah, that was like
a gift-basket thing.
966
00:55:25,448 --> 00:55:27,415
You brought a scented
candle into the jungle?
967
00:55:27,519 --> 00:55:28,796
My mom gave me that.
968
00:55:28,900 --> 00:55:30,453
It was like a weird
gift for Mother's Day.
969
00:55:30,556 --> 00:55:32,835
Your mom gives you
gifts for Mother's Day?
970
00:55:34,146 --> 00:55:34,940
Noir...
971
00:55:35,044 --> 00:55:37,011
Eucalyptus rosemary oil. Ooh.
972
00:55:37,598 --> 00:55:38,875
Oh, that smells good.
973
00:55:38,979 --> 00:55:41,153
Um... Oh, okay. All right.
974
00:55:41,257 --> 00:55:42,879
Whoo! Yes!
975
00:55:42,983 --> 00:55:45,433
Yes, I made fire!
976
00:55:45,537 --> 00:55:49,092
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
977
00:55:49,196 --> 00:55:51,129
Who would have thought?
978
00:55:51,232 --> 00:55:53,717
Oh, you're just, um,
taking your shirt off?
979
00:55:54,822 --> 00:55:56,859
That looks really uncomfortable.
980
00:55:56,962 --> 00:55:58,861
Are you okay? The back?
981
00:55:58,964 --> 00:56:03,037
Yeah. That is why I don't do water.
982
00:56:03,141 --> 00:56:05,419
- Okay.
- My body becomes an eighth-grader's face.
983
00:56:05,522 --> 00:56:08,387
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
984
00:56:08,491 --> 00:56:10,389
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
985
00:56:10,493 --> 00:56:12,564
It was in a little, tiny little bottle.
986
00:56:12,667 --> 00:56:14,635
It was this. I'm sorry.
987
00:56:14,738 --> 00:56:16,775
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
988
00:56:16,879 --> 00:56:18,225
It's okay.
989
00:56:18,328 --> 00:56:20,641
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
990
00:56:20,744 --> 00:56:23,161
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
991
00:56:23,264 --> 00:56:24,748
- Just sit down.
- Right here?
992
00:56:24,852 --> 00:56:26,060
Yeah.
993
00:56:27,268 --> 00:56:28,891
Okay.
994
00:56:28,994 --> 00:56:30,858
Oh, no, you don't have to
touch it. It's okay. It's fine.
995
00:56:30,962 --> 00:56:32,964
I touched your engorged sacks, so...
996
00:56:35,173 --> 00:56:36,899
- The leeches.
- Oh, okay.
997
00:56:37,002 --> 00:56:39,798
Okay, this might be a little bit cold.
998
00:56:40,972 --> 00:56:42,697
- Sorry.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
999
00:56:42,801 --> 00:56:44,078
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1000
00:56:44,182 --> 00:56:46,149
Maybe this is how Dash should die.
1001
00:56:46,253 --> 00:56:49,290
Horrible eczema
outbreak. That's so sexy.
1002
00:56:49,394 --> 00:56:50,913
I could make it work.
1003
00:56:51,361 --> 00:56:52,397
Yeah?
1004
00:56:53,053 --> 00:56:54,502
All right, then.
1005
00:56:55,779 --> 00:56:57,505
How would you write this?
1006
00:56:57,609 --> 00:56:59,093
Okay.
1007
00:57:00,992 --> 00:57:04,305
"Warmed by the fragrant fire..."
1008
00:57:04,409 --> 00:57:06,859
Mm-hmm.
1009
00:57:06,963 --> 00:57:08,861
Starting strong.Mm-hmm.
1010
00:57:08,965 --> 00:57:12,072
"Lovemore's hands explored the..."
1011
00:57:13,832 --> 00:57:16,317
The contoured scenery
1012
00:57:16,421 --> 00:57:18,009
of Dash's body.
1013
00:57:20,149 --> 00:57:22,841
Familiar terrain made
1014
00:57:22,945 --> 00:57:25,292
new and exciting with every...
1015
00:57:26,224 --> 00:57:28,571
"with every scarlet rim."
1016
00:57:29,675 --> 00:57:31,367
And that didn't, uh...
1017
00:57:32,195 --> 00:57:33,714
didn't turn her off?
1018
00:57:33,817 --> 00:57:35,026
No.
1019
00:57:35,854 --> 00:57:37,683
"Because with every cardinal ridge,
1020
00:57:38,684 --> 00:57:41,101
Lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1021
00:57:41,204 --> 00:57:43,310
"that only their bodies spoke."
1022
00:57:44,345 --> 00:57:46,382
And what were their bodies saying?
1023
00:57:48,349 --> 00:57:49,902
"Take me..."
1024
00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:53,423
Take me,
1025
00:57:54,010 --> 00:57:55,701
"take me."
1026
00:57:55,805 --> 00:57:57,117
How's that?
1027
00:57:57,945 --> 00:57:59,222
It was good.
1028
00:57:59,326 --> 00:58:01,052
- Your back. I mean, how is your back?
- Good.
1029
00:58:01,155 --> 00:58:02,570
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
1030
00:58:02,674 --> 00:58:07,230
- I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.
- Okay.
1031
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,515
Supplies.
1032
00:58:18,655 --> 00:58:22,935
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1033
00:58:23,039 --> 00:58:24,247
- Okay.
- You good?
1034
00:58:24,351 --> 00:58:27,009
Yeah, I'm fire... fine. I'm fine.
1035
00:58:27,112 --> 00:58:30,046
I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire.
1036
00:58:30,736 --> 00:58:32,462
Okay. All right.
1037
00:58:40,367 --> 00:58:43,680
Uh, it's up to you, but if you're cold,
1038
00:58:43,784 --> 00:58:47,995
maybe we could probably both
fit in here, if you wanted to.
1039
00:58:48,651 --> 00:58:50,377
Both of us?
1040
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:53,518
- Only if you want to. I mean, it's just...
- Yeah, no, that sounds...
1041
00:58:53,621 --> 00:58:55,106
Uh...
1042
00:58:55,209 --> 00:58:56,590
Okay. How do you...
1043
00:58:56,693 --> 00:58:58,661
You can go first,
then I'll figure it out.
1044
00:58:58,764 --> 00:59:01,905
No, no, you go. It's definitely
a "ladies first" type of situation.
1045
00:59:02,009 --> 00:59:04,667
- Keep hands out of the bag at all times.
- That's what I was gonna do.
1046
00:59:04,770 --> 00:59:06,427
- Butt to butt.
- Hands out and butt to butt.
1047
00:59:06,531 --> 00:59:09,844
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1048
00:59:09,948 --> 00:59:12,640
I sit first? Okay. I'm in.
1049
00:59:14,194 --> 00:59:16,782
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1050
00:59:16,886 --> 00:59:19,544
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1051
00:59:19,647 --> 00:59:22,823
Why is this engaging my core so much?
1052
00:59:23,617 --> 00:59:25,515
How 'bout you shimmy?
1053
00:59:25,619 --> 00:59:27,724
- I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.
- Are you good?
1054
00:59:27,828 --> 00:59:29,140
My face.
1055
00:59:29,726 --> 00:59:30,969
Yeah. Okay.
1056
00:59:34,076 --> 00:59:35,560
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1057
00:59:35,663 --> 00:59:36,699
Okay.
1058
01:00:07,902 --> 01:00:09,490
Well!
1059
01:00:09,594 --> 01:00:10,733
Come on.
1060
01:00:10,836 --> 01:00:12,493
Come on! Let's hear it!
1061
01:00:12,597 --> 01:00:16,083
Let's give a nice round
of applause to Loretta!
1062
01:00:16,187 --> 01:00:17,809
She earned it.
1063
01:00:17,912 --> 01:00:21,778
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1064
01:00:21,882 --> 01:00:23,263
Good job, Loretta.
1065
01:00:23,366 --> 01:00:25,886
Boss, come on. People are dying now.
1066
01:00:25,989 --> 01:00:29,648
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1067
01:00:30,891 --> 01:00:32,617
Is it really worth it?
1068
01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:36,103
I am on the cusp of
attaining the unattainable.
1069
01:00:36,207 --> 01:00:39,210
Something singular,
something no nation,
1070
01:00:39,313 --> 01:00:42,903
no emperor, no brownnosing
brothers ever have.
1071
01:00:43,006 --> 01:00:46,113
The legendary Crown of Fire.
1072
01:00:46,562 --> 01:00:47,701
So, yes.
1073
01:00:47,804 --> 01:00:50,117
Yes, I would definitely
say it's worth it.
1074
01:00:59,851 --> 01:01:01,370
Excuse me!
1075
01:01:01,473 --> 01:01:04,373
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1076
01:01:04,476 --> 01:01:05,822
No flight.
1077
01:01:05,926 --> 01:01:08,515
The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow.
1078
01:01:08,618 --> 01:01:10,758
No, no, sir. I cannot come
tomorrow. I need to do this today.
1079
01:01:10,862 --> 01:01:15,591
I need to get to the island Isla
Hundida tonight. Lives are at stake.
1080
01:01:15,694 --> 01:01:17,179
Come tomorrow.
1081
01:01:21,010 --> 01:01:22,701
- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
1082
01:01:22,805 --> 01:01:26,878
I couldn't help but overhear
you say that you like steak.
1083
01:01:26,981 --> 01:01:30,261
Okay, this is a little bit crazy,
1084
01:01:30,364 --> 01:01:32,159
but I also like steak.
1085
01:01:32,263 --> 01:01:34,610
- What?
- I also like steak.
1086
01:01:34,713 --> 01:01:38,165
Would you like to,
maybe, I don't know...
1087
01:01:38,269 --> 01:01:41,099
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1088
01:01:41,203 --> 01:01:42,963
I need to go to the island tonight.
1089
01:01:43,066 --> 01:01:44,482
- Ah.
- Yes.
1090
01:01:44,585 --> 01:01:46,173
- Even more serious.
- Extremely.
1091
01:01:46,277 --> 01:01:49,280
Well, I believe that I
may be able to assist you.
1092
01:01:49,383 --> 01:01:51,316
I have a cargo plane.
1093
01:01:52,490 --> 01:01:56,183
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1094
01:01:56,287 --> 01:01:59,082
I'm about to ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1095
01:01:59,186 --> 01:02:01,050
Have you ever murdered anyone before?
1096
01:02:01,153 --> 01:02:04,398
No!
1097
01:02:07,988 --> 01:02:10,715
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1098
01:02:10,818 --> 01:02:15,064
If you ever think about murdering
me, I promise, I will murder you first.
1099
01:02:15,167 --> 01:02:16,514
My pleasure.
1100
01:02:16,617 --> 01:02:18,757
You are weird. Let's go.
1101
01:03:14,157 --> 01:03:17,575
"King Kalaman and his
treasure laid to rest in the well
1102
01:03:18,230 --> 01:03:19,646
of endless tears."
1103
01:03:21,337 --> 01:03:22,511
What is that?
1104
01:03:23,684 --> 01:03:27,136
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not, uh...
1105
01:03:27,239 --> 01:03:29,483
You know, it's not
what you think it is.
1106
01:03:29,587 --> 01:03:33,384
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1107
01:03:33,487 --> 01:03:37,284
Okay. It's what you think it is.
1108
01:03:37,388 --> 01:03:38,837
Loretta, I thought you
were smarter than that.
1109
01:03:38,941 --> 01:03:41,737
Fairfax is never gonna
stop hunting us now.
1110
01:03:41,840 --> 01:03:42,841
What were you thinking?
1111
01:03:42,945 --> 01:03:44,912
We have a volcano
that could bury the tomb
1112
01:03:45,016 --> 01:03:48,571
before we get to it, before we see
it, before we preserve its memory.
1113
01:03:48,675 --> 01:03:50,608
- This is...
- I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing?
1114
01:03:50,711 --> 01:03:53,231
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1115
01:03:53,335 --> 01:03:54,750
Why would I tell you?
1116
01:03:54,853 --> 01:03:56,683
We're in this together. I
came here to rescue you.
1117
01:03:56,786 --> 01:03:58,478
You know you're not Dash, right?
1118
01:03:58,581 --> 01:04:00,825
You don't ride in on a
white horse to rescue people.
1119
01:04:00,928 --> 01:04:05,208
You... spray yourself with bronzer and
you stand in front of wind machines,
1120
01:04:05,312 --> 01:04:06,831
which is great for you.
1121
01:04:06,934 --> 01:04:09,592
How would you have any
idea what I'm actually like?
1122
01:04:09,696 --> 01:04:12,630
I know you. You're a
pretty open book, Alan.
1123
01:04:12,733 --> 01:04:14,528
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1124
01:04:14,632 --> 01:04:15,667
Yeah.
1125
01:04:17,738 --> 01:04:19,947
O... Okay, uh...
1126
01:04:20,051 --> 01:04:23,157
You were a homecoming king and
you coasted on your good looks to LA,
1127
01:04:23,261 --> 01:04:25,781
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1128
01:04:25,884 --> 01:04:27,610
doesn't mean you're going to be a star.
1129
01:04:27,714 --> 01:04:29,543
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1130
01:04:29,647 --> 01:04:33,236
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1131
01:04:33,340 --> 01:04:35,273
uh, chose you at
random to be on the cover.
1132
01:04:35,377 --> 01:04:38,794
Lucky for you and her, the
novels were a smashing success.
1133
01:04:38,897 --> 01:04:41,900
She kept writing her
schlock, you kept posing,
1134
01:04:42,004 --> 01:04:47,458
um, you know, neither one of us
becoming who we'd hoped we would be.
1135
01:04:47,561 --> 01:04:51,669
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1136
01:04:51,772 --> 01:04:55,673
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1137
01:04:55,776 --> 01:04:56,812
Right?
1138
01:04:58,158 --> 01:04:59,470
Mm-hmm.
1139
01:05:10,757 --> 01:05:12,483
It was Sarasota, by the way.
1140
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:14,588
It's not nowhere.
1141
01:05:14,692 --> 01:05:16,935
I grew up there with
my mom and two sisters.
1142
01:05:17,039 --> 01:05:18,074
And yeah...
1143
01:05:19,075 --> 01:05:21,768
I started modeling 'cause
I wanted to get away.
1144
01:05:21,871 --> 01:05:23,804
It was the only job
that I could think of
1145
01:05:23,908 --> 01:05:27,152
that could take me to all of the
places that I always dreamed of going.
1146
01:05:27,256 --> 01:05:28,568
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1147
01:05:28,671 --> 01:05:31,433
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1148
01:05:31,536 --> 01:05:34,436
And I was so embarrassed that
one of my friends might've seen me
1149
01:05:34,539 --> 01:05:36,679
in that wig on the cover of your book
1150
01:05:36,783 --> 01:05:39,441
that I avoided talking
to them for months.
1151
01:05:40,407 --> 01:05:41,891
And then one day,
1152
01:05:42,616 --> 01:05:44,480
I'm walking home,
1153
01:05:44,584 --> 01:05:47,379
and I hear this lady yell, "Dash!"
1154
01:05:47,483 --> 01:05:50,003
She runs up, and she is so happy.
1155
01:05:50,106 --> 01:05:53,869
Then I thought, "How
could I be this embarrassed
1156
01:05:53,972 --> 01:05:56,665
about something that
makes people this happy?"
1157
01:06:00,013 --> 01:06:01,704
Loretta, you can do whatever you want.
1158
01:06:01,808 --> 01:06:03,913
If you don't want to
write anymore, don't write.
1159
01:06:04,017 --> 01:06:08,504
But don't minimize the people that
love your work by calling it schlock.
1160
01:06:08,608 --> 01:06:11,162
That's not fair to them.
1161
01:06:12,370 --> 01:06:15,269
You know what's ironic? I thought
you of all people would know
1162
01:06:15,373 --> 01:06:17,824
not to judge a book by its cover.
1163
01:06:21,897 --> 01:06:24,486
Judge a book by its cover model.
1164
01:06:55,965 --> 01:06:57,139
Alan?
1165
01:06:57,242 --> 01:06:58,520
Alan.
1166
01:07:10,497 --> 01:07:11,843
There's two of them.
1167
01:07:17,953 --> 01:07:20,645
- Loretta! I'm over here!
- Alan!
1168
01:07:21,715 --> 01:07:24,787
Alan! Motorcycles and
guns, motorcycles and guns!
1169
01:07:24,891 --> 01:07:27,031
Come on, this way!
1170
01:07:27,134 --> 01:07:28,757
Stop shooting!
1171
01:07:34,003 --> 01:07:35,971
- Just give 'em the parchment!
- I can't.
1172
01:07:36,074 --> 01:07:38,732
Yes, you can, actually. You just
say, "Here," and throw it at 'em.
1173
01:07:38,836 --> 01:07:41,148
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1174
01:07:41,252 --> 01:07:43,254
- Okay, keep down.
- How do they keep finding us?
1175
01:07:43,357 --> 01:07:45,843
- You're basically a walking disco ball.
- We need to come up with a plan.
1176
01:07:45,946 --> 01:07:47,016
I have an idea.
1177
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:48,570
We're gonna dig a
hole, throw our voices.
1178
01:07:48,673 --> 01:07:50,606
"We're over here." Can
you sound like a bird?
1179
01:07:50,710 --> 01:07:53,022
- No, I have a plan.
- Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1180
01:07:53,126 --> 01:07:56,819
- I know, but I have a plan.
- Please, just let me think about...
1181
01:07:56,923 --> 01:08:00,547
- Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
- Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1182
01:08:00,651 --> 01:08:02,963
No. No, no, no. They're
shooting only at you.
1183
01:08:03,067 --> 01:08:05,587
They won't shoot me. It's
my brain that's valuable.
1184
01:08:05,690 --> 01:08:09,556
What? I don't think you actually
hear the things you say sometimes.
1185
01:08:09,660 --> 01:08:12,352
- Maybe I can shield you.
- You are not shielding me.
1186
01:08:12,455 --> 01:08:14,699
- I should be shielding you.
- Why? Because I'm a woman?
1187
01:08:14,803 --> 01:08:17,875
- That's supremely sexist.
- Well, look, I don't think using women as human shields
1188
01:08:17,978 --> 01:08:20,705
is exactly the change that Gloria
Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1189
01:08:20,809 --> 01:08:23,639
- Gloria Steinem?
- Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine.
1190
01:08:23,743 --> 01:08:26,815
- Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
- Oh, my God. I am a woman.
1191
01:08:26,918 --> 01:08:29,024
I can't mansplain anything.
1192
01:08:29,127 --> 01:08:33,856
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a
woman can do anything a man can do.
1193
01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:36,410
- We just need to stay here until they get tired.
- I have an idea.
1194
01:08:36,514 --> 01:08:38,205
- Please can I tell you my plan?
- Alan!
1195
01:08:38,309 --> 01:08:41,623
This is not a situation you can
get out of by ripping your shirt off.
1196
01:08:41,726 --> 01:08:43,659
Not my shirt.
1197
01:09:15,104 --> 01:09:16,416
Three!
1198
01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:18,107
- Yes!
- Oh!
1199
01:09:22,215 --> 01:09:24,079
Oh.
1200
01:09:24,182 --> 01:09:27,427
That was different
than I had in my head.
1201
01:09:27,530 --> 01:09:31,603
- I just wanted us to stop them.
- Could it have been the wind that made it do that?
1202
01:09:31,707 --> 01:09:33,813
No, I think it was us.
I think... we did it.
1203
01:09:33,916 --> 01:09:36,332
We did the one guy,
right? But that was, like...
1204
01:09:36,436 --> 01:09:39,784
We just wanted him to stop. But I think
the other guy could've moved, really.
1205
01:09:39,888 --> 01:09:42,028
So, that was... that one was on him.
1206
01:09:42,131 --> 01:09:44,996
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1207
01:09:45,100 --> 01:09:46,826
Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff?
1208
01:09:46,929 --> 01:09:49,380
They were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1209
01:09:49,483 --> 01:09:51,658
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1210
01:09:51,762 --> 01:09:52,970
So there'd just be a head.
1211
01:09:53,073 --> 01:09:55,351
They were driving recklessly, right?
1212
01:09:55,455 --> 01:09:57,181
Don't be mean on a bike.
1213
01:09:57,871 --> 01:09:59,631
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1214
01:10:03,428 --> 01:10:05,672
I mean, perhaps they're fine.
1215
01:10:05,776 --> 01:10:08,192
Yeah, probably not. But that's okay.
1216
01:10:08,295 --> 01:10:12,575
That's all right. You know,
things happen. Let's go.
1217
01:10:14,785 --> 01:10:17,960
- You gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1218
01:10:30,766 --> 01:10:33,079
- Look at me.
- Okay.
1219
01:10:33,976 --> 01:10:36,013
What more can I do, you know?
1220
01:10:36,116 --> 01:10:38,049
You've done so much already, Beth.
1221
01:10:38,153 --> 01:10:41,190
My poor, sweet, little
Nana has lost her sight.
1222
01:10:41,294 --> 01:10:44,021
The book release is
a complete disaster,
1223
01:10:44,124 --> 01:10:45,781
which I've leveraged everything on,
1224
01:10:45,885 --> 01:10:48,232
so I'm probably, most
definitely broke right now.
1225
01:10:48,335 --> 01:10:51,580
And most importantly,
I've lost a writer.
1226
01:10:51,683 --> 01:10:53,237
Who does that? Who loses a writer?
1227
01:10:53,340 --> 01:10:57,862
Okay, Beth, you remind
me of my best friend, Randy.
1228
01:10:57,966 --> 01:11:00,451
Always looking out for other people,
1229
01:11:00,554 --> 01:11:02,902
never taking care of herself.
1230
01:11:03,903 --> 01:11:05,318
Isn't that right, Randy?
1231
01:11:07,838 --> 01:11:09,701
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1232
01:11:09,805 --> 01:11:11,911
LOL. "Laughing Out Loud."
1233
01:11:12,014 --> 01:11:13,982
After you take care of your friend,
1234
01:11:14,879 --> 01:11:16,225
how about we go to a beach?
1235
01:11:16,329 --> 01:11:18,814
- What?
- Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii.
1236
01:11:18,918 --> 01:11:20,885
She doesn't have to come.
1237
01:11:20,989 --> 01:11:23,785
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1238
01:11:23,888 --> 01:11:25,890
She's hilarious.
1239
01:11:26,684 --> 01:11:28,513
Let me ask you something.
1240
01:11:28,617 --> 01:11:30,722
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1241
01:11:30,826 --> 01:11:32,759
- Autopilot.
- What?
1242
01:11:32,863 --> 01:11:35,589
Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane.
1243
01:11:36,038 --> 01:11:37,039
Okay.
1244
01:11:37,799 --> 01:11:39,559
I'm going to go land the plane.
1245
01:11:39,662 --> 01:11:41,112
Okay.
1246
01:11:41,216 --> 01:11:43,114
No, no, no. Take the
goat. Please, take the goat.
1247
01:11:43,218 --> 01:11:45,876
She's on break. Enjoy the flight!
1248
01:12:21,290 --> 01:12:22,636
- Hi.
- Hola.
1249
01:12:27,089 --> 01:12:29,781
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1250
01:12:31,922 --> 01:12:35,235
Hey, it's Beth. Please leave a message,
and I'll get right back to you.
1251
01:12:35,339 --> 01:12:38,204
Uh, hi, Beth.
1252
01:12:38,307 --> 01:12:39,308
It's me.
1253
01:12:39,412 --> 01:12:41,241
Uh, I'm alive!
1254
01:12:41,966 --> 01:12:44,003
Uh, listen, um...
1255
01:12:45,314 --> 01:12:46,350
Uh...
1256
01:12:47,799 --> 01:12:51,907
I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour.
1257
01:12:52,011 --> 01:12:53,736
Um...
1258
01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:56,222
I was just afraid
1259
01:12:57,361 --> 01:12:59,018
and selfish. Uh...
1260
01:12:59,121 --> 01:13:01,848
Oh, here comes
Alan. I'll call you back.
1261
01:13:05,024 --> 01:13:08,027
So, uh, police are
searching for Fairfax,
1262
01:13:08,130 --> 01:13:10,581
and they're gonna provide
us protection while we're here.
1263
01:13:10,684 --> 01:13:12,514
Did they say how long we'd be here?
1264
01:13:12,617 --> 01:13:15,275
They're gonna try to get us on a
puddle jumper later this evening.
1265
01:13:15,379 --> 01:13:17,588
But, uh, they said in the
meantime, the inn is really nice,
1266
01:13:17,691 --> 01:13:20,280
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1267
01:13:20,384 --> 01:13:21,799
Okay.
1268
01:13:25,251 --> 01:13:26,804
Okay. Yeah.
1269
01:14:19,581 --> 01:14:21,031
Thank you.
1270
01:14:21,617 --> 01:14:24,862
Come on.
1271
01:14:24,966 --> 01:14:26,208
Dance with your husband.
1272
01:14:26,312 --> 01:14:28,107
- No, no, no.
- He's not my husband.
1273
01:14:28,210 --> 01:14:29,936
- It's okay.
- Dance with him.
1274
01:14:30,040 --> 01:14:32,525
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1275
01:14:32,628 --> 01:14:35,148
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1276
01:14:35,252 --> 01:14:37,495
You don't have to do this.
1277
01:14:37,599 --> 01:14:39,359
It's okay. It's okay.
1278
01:14:40,257 --> 01:14:41,223
Yeah?
1279
01:15:59,853 --> 01:16:01,545
I wonder what she's saying.
1280
01:16:03,926 --> 01:16:05,411
It's folklore.
1281
01:16:06,826 --> 01:16:08,862
Love song about a woman
1282
01:16:08,966 --> 01:16:12,280
whose lover died, and she
didn't want to leave his side.
1283
01:16:13,315 --> 01:16:16,146
So she laid down and refused to get up.
1284
01:16:16,732 --> 01:16:18,493
Must be scary.
1285
01:16:18,596 --> 01:16:22,497
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1286
01:16:34,854 --> 01:16:36,407
What was that?
1287
01:16:38,547 --> 01:16:42,206
Excuse me. Excuse me. The,
um... the last line that you sang.
1288
01:16:42,310 --> 01:16:44,657
¿Quién llorará junto a mí?
1289
01:16:47,591 --> 01:16:50,421
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1290
01:16:50,525 --> 01:16:53,907
What is that, the well of endless
tears? Is that a real place, or...
1291
01:16:54,011 --> 01:16:55,633
Sinkhole place.
1292
01:16:57,428 --> 01:16:59,154
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1293
01:16:59,258 --> 01:17:01,329
- Come here, come here.
- What is it?
1294
01:17:02,951 --> 01:17:04,780
Hey, on the parchment, it said,
1295
01:17:04,884 --> 01:17:08,957
"King Kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1296
01:17:09,060 --> 01:17:11,166
I thought maybe it was a metaphor.
1297
01:17:11,684 --> 01:17:13,237
It's not.
1298
01:17:13,341 --> 01:17:16,206
The Well of Endless Tears is a place.
1299
01:17:16,309 --> 01:17:18,311
It's a sinkhole.
1300
01:17:18,415 --> 01:17:20,589
There's a sinkhole on the map.
1301
01:17:21,935 --> 01:17:23,696
I think the tomb is there.
1302
01:17:23,799 --> 01:17:26,181
- This is so much better than your books.
- What?
1303
01:17:26,285 --> 01:17:27,769
There's like... No, I
don't mean any offense.
1304
01:17:27,872 --> 01:17:29,771
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- It's, like, equal.
1305
01:17:29,874 --> 01:17:32,083
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Look at you. You want to go there.
1306
01:17:32,187 --> 01:17:34,051
- What? No.
- I can see. Yes, you do.
1307
01:17:34,155 --> 01:17:37,261
That would be insane. That
would be insane. I just... I just...
1308
01:17:37,365 --> 01:17:41,748
It's just that we're so close
to it, but, you know, we can't...
1309
01:17:41,852 --> 01:17:43,164
No.
1310
01:17:43,267 --> 01:17:45,959
This is your story. How
do you want to write it?
1311
01:17:46,753 --> 01:17:49,066
I'd like to know that it's there,
1312
01:17:49,170 --> 01:17:50,826
that all this meant something.
1313
01:17:50,930 --> 01:17:52,794
Okay. Then let's go.
1314
01:17:52,897 --> 01:17:54,761
We'll stay one more day.
As soon as the sun's up,
1315
01:17:54,865 --> 01:17:56,625
we're gonna go find the
Well of Endless Tears.
1316
01:17:56,729 --> 01:17:59,594
- But what if it's nothing?
- So what? Then we say we tried.
1317
01:17:59,697 --> 01:18:00,940
And Fairfax?
1318
01:18:01,043 --> 01:18:03,460
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1319
01:18:04,564 --> 01:18:05,358
This is crazy.
1320
01:18:05,462 --> 01:18:07,153
- Yeah, but look at you.
- What?
1321
01:18:07,257 --> 01:18:10,225
It's the very first time I've
ever seen you totally unafraid.
1322
01:18:10,846 --> 01:18:12,572
And alive.
1323
01:18:12,676 --> 01:18:15,196
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1324
01:18:15,299 --> 01:18:16,749
Where are you going?
1325
01:18:20,408 --> 01:18:22,479
I see you met my friend here.
1326
01:18:22,582 --> 01:18:26,966
He told me you were just
about to jump on a plane,
1327
01:18:27,069 --> 01:18:29,520
without so much as saying goodbye.
1328
01:18:29,624 --> 01:18:33,041
I said, "No way. Not my Loretta.
1329
01:18:33,144 --> 01:18:37,597
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1330
01:18:41,014 --> 01:18:43,085
Stop squeezing so hard.
1331
01:18:43,914 --> 01:18:46,710
Ow. Get your hands off of me!
1332
01:18:47,573 --> 01:18:49,437
Ow! Let go!
1333
01:18:49,920 --> 01:18:51,128
I-I need a car.
1334
01:18:51,232 --> 01:18:53,164
A car, an auto. Does
anybody have an auto?
1335
01:19:01,656 --> 01:19:02,726
No, no. No.
1336
01:19:03,451 --> 01:19:04,762
I-I-I need an auto.
1337
01:19:04,866 --> 01:19:06,212
I'll trade you my watch.
1338
01:19:06,316 --> 01:19:07,731
It's a really expensive
watch. Do you have a car?
1339
01:19:07,834 --> 01:19:09,353
It's a Bulgari. This
thing glows in the dark.
1340
01:19:09,457 --> 01:19:11,252
- It's waterproof.
- I have motorcycle.
1341
01:19:24,851 --> 01:19:26,612
Cool, isn't it?
1342
01:19:26,715 --> 01:19:29,822
I always thought, why can't your
personal tank also have a minibar?
1343
01:19:29,925 --> 01:19:31,410
Have a drink.
1344
01:19:31,513 --> 01:19:33,066
Do you mind?
1345
01:19:33,170 --> 01:19:34,585
Uh, yes.
1346
01:19:34,689 --> 01:19:36,829
He has a bit of a grudge
against you, I'm afraid.
1347
01:19:36,932 --> 01:19:39,728
Something about a motorbike
accident his friends had?
1348
01:19:39,832 --> 01:19:41,005
Why are you doing this?
1349
01:19:41,109 --> 01:19:42,869
I want something nobody else has.
1350
01:19:43,767 --> 01:19:45,596
When my father gifted...
1351
01:19:48,668 --> 01:19:50,187
As I was saying,
1352
01:19:50,291 --> 01:19:53,224
when my father gifted his empire
1353
01:19:53,328 --> 01:19:55,779
to my baby brother...
1354
01:20:02,820 --> 01:20:04,339
Who is that?
1355
01:20:13,072 --> 01:20:15,281
Is that a Ken doll on a moped?
1356
01:20:16,075 --> 01:20:17,594
I know him from somewhere.
1357
01:20:17,697 --> 01:20:19,354
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1358
01:20:19,458 --> 01:20:21,667
Because what you are looking at
1359
01:20:21,770 --> 01:20:24,670
is a highly trained combat specialist,
1360
01:20:24,773 --> 01:20:28,363
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1361
01:20:28,467 --> 01:20:31,055
Kuwait, Sa... Sarasota...
1362
01:20:31,159 --> 01:20:33,230
Incredible skin. No eczema problems.
1363
01:20:33,334 --> 01:20:37,027
And he will not stop until I am safe!
1364
01:20:37,130 --> 01:20:39,340
So you pull this space tank over,
1365
01:20:39,443 --> 01:20:42,584
unless you would like to
perish like his friends did.
1366
01:20:42,688 --> 01:20:46,105
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1367
01:20:46,208 --> 01:20:48,901
He might not have meant to,
1368
01:20:49,004 --> 01:20:52,283
but they... perished, so...
1369
01:21:07,229 --> 01:21:08,472
Okay, who-who is this?
1370
01:21:08,576 --> 01:21:10,474
I have seen him somewhere before.
1371
01:21:12,959 --> 01:21:14,202
No, no, no.
1372
01:21:14,305 --> 01:21:16,031
That's your cover model, isn't it?
1373
01:21:16,135 --> 01:21:18,413
Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere.
1374
01:21:19,310 --> 01:21:20,381
Get up there.
1375
01:21:20,484 --> 01:21:21,865
And kill him creatively.
1376
01:21:21,968 --> 01:21:24,074
I love watching hunks fail.
1377
01:21:26,421 --> 01:21:28,665
I guess I-I will have that drink.
1378
01:21:30,356 --> 01:21:31,633
Oh, shit.
1379
01:21:31,737 --> 01:21:34,291
Is it okay if I just top 'er off?
1380
01:21:34,395 --> 01:21:35,568
Yeah, that's fine, but...
1381
01:21:35,672 --> 01:21:37,639
Oh, my God, have you
used a glass before?
1382
01:21:37,743 --> 01:21:39,089
Sorry.
1383
01:21:39,192 --> 01:21:40,677
What would Jack Trainer do?
1384
01:21:42,886 --> 01:21:43,956
It's hot in here.
1385
01:21:44,059 --> 01:21:47,062
Anyone else feeling how hot it is?
1386
01:21:47,166 --> 01:21:48,236
Are you trying to be sexy?
1387
01:21:48,339 --> 01:21:50,134
This is very weird. Please, stop.
1388
01:21:50,238 --> 01:21:52,136
I could set your world on fire.
1389
01:22:02,733 --> 01:22:05,046
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1390
01:22:05,149 --> 01:22:06,875
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1391
01:22:09,291 --> 01:22:11,121
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1392
01:22:11,224 --> 01:22:12,502
Time-out.
1393
01:22:12,605 --> 01:22:13,537
Time-in!
1394
01:22:19,370 --> 01:22:22,201
No! Don't shoot her! I need her!
1395
01:22:23,858 --> 01:22:25,722
Oh, Jesus!
1396
01:22:25,825 --> 01:22:27,240
Ow, ow, ow.
1397
01:22:31,175 --> 01:22:33,592
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1398
01:22:36,664 --> 01:22:38,873
Go to sleep, asshole.
1399
01:22:38,976 --> 01:22:40,633
Get out there! Look!
1400
01:22:45,224 --> 01:22:46,536
A bigger guy?
1401
01:22:46,639 --> 01:22:47,847
Oh, no.
1402
01:22:49,193 --> 01:22:50,436
What?
1403
01:22:52,921 --> 01:22:53,853
Move it!
1404
01:22:55,579 --> 01:22:57,892
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1405
01:22:58,789 --> 01:23:00,688
Hey! Get in.
1406
01:23:01,205 --> 01:23:02,310
Him or me?
1407
01:23:06,417 --> 01:23:11,215
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1408
01:23:11,319 --> 01:23:13,286
This is real life.
1409
01:23:14,218 --> 01:23:16,082
And we will kill him.
1410
01:23:16,186 --> 01:23:17,912
Tell us where the tomb is.
1411
01:23:32,582 --> 01:23:33,893
Hi. So, whoever's in charge,
1412
01:23:33,997 --> 01:23:36,620
I need you to send
officials to go here.
1413
01:23:36,724 --> 01:23:37,828
Here.
1414
01:23:38,967 --> 01:23:40,797
We are closed.
1415
01:23:40,900 --> 01:23:42,246
You're closed?
1416
01:23:44,179 --> 01:23:47,286
You know I've been trying to
take a nap for a year and a half?
1417
01:23:47,389 --> 01:23:48,943
A year and a half.
1418
01:23:49,875 --> 01:23:52,981
I have been burning
the candle at both ends,
1419
01:23:53,085 --> 01:23:54,431
the midnight oil,
1420
01:23:54,535 --> 01:23:57,503
since way before my
friend got kidnapped.
1421
01:23:57,607 --> 01:23:59,470
And all I want to do
1422
01:24:00,023 --> 01:24:02,163
is kick my feet back
1423
01:24:02,266 --> 01:24:03,509
and drink some wine
1424
01:24:03,613 --> 01:24:05,994
that I'm probably too tired to drink.
1425
01:24:06,098 --> 01:24:08,031
And I want a massage.
1426
01:24:08,134 --> 01:24:12,794
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1427
01:24:12,898 --> 01:24:14,934
and I want it at the same time.
1428
01:24:15,038 --> 01:24:18,731
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1429
01:24:18,835 --> 01:24:21,492
Because I have worked hard.
1430
01:24:22,355 --> 01:24:24,806
The same way that I know that you have.
1431
01:24:25,704 --> 01:24:27,913
So I hate to ask you
1432
01:24:28,016 --> 01:24:30,398
to leave this place
open a few more minutes,
1433
01:24:30,501 --> 01:24:32,434
because if we don't,
1434
01:24:32,538 --> 01:24:36,093
a very close friend of
mine and her cover model
1435
01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:37,957
are going to die.
1436
01:25:00,808 --> 01:25:02,361
No good way in, boss!
1437
01:25:02,464 --> 01:25:04,605
What about the caves?
1438
01:25:05,364 --> 01:25:06,710
That's too dangerous!
1439
01:25:06,814 --> 01:25:09,817
Well, we'll be very careful then.
1440
01:25:23,382 --> 01:25:24,694
Well, come on!
1441
01:25:29,388 --> 01:25:31,217
- This way.
- I have a rule about
1442
01:25:31,321 --> 01:25:32,840
not going into super creepy caves.
1443
01:25:44,196 --> 01:25:47,130
- Julian?
- His name is Julian?
1444
01:25:47,233 --> 01:25:50,098
He seems more like a Buck or a Bruce.
1445
01:25:50,202 --> 01:25:51,686
Lead the way.
1446
01:25:55,379 --> 01:25:57,761
Go on. Don't be scared.
1447
01:26:27,515 --> 01:26:29,310
Watch your step there.
1448
01:26:29,413 --> 01:26:30,587
Bruce!
1449
01:26:30,691 --> 01:26:31,692
- Julian. Oh, no!
- Julian!
1450
01:26:31,795 --> 01:26:33,417
Whoa.
1451
01:26:33,521 --> 01:26:35,040
Whoa.
1452
01:26:35,696 --> 01:26:37,180
Well...
1453
01:26:38,008 --> 01:26:39,734
Let's not have his death be in vain.
1454
01:26:39,838 --> 01:26:42,599
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1455
01:26:42,703 --> 01:26:45,153
We're not gonna go and
get him now, are we?
1456
01:26:45,257 --> 01:26:46,672
Oh, man.
1457
01:26:59,064 --> 01:27:00,721
- It's nothing.
- Okay.
1458
01:27:00,824 --> 01:27:03,516
Yeah. Look, let's just
go back to the boat.
1459
01:27:03,620 --> 01:27:05,484
This is over. Nobody else has to die.
1460
01:27:05,587 --> 01:27:07,762
No, no, no. Ha-ha! It's a breeze.
1461
01:27:07,866 --> 01:27:10,316
There's a tunnel. This
could lead to the tomb.
1462
01:27:10,420 --> 01:27:12,284
- That's not person-sized.
- Ah, speak for yourself.
1463
01:27:12,387 --> 01:27:14,665
Come on. It's
practically a kiddie slide.
1464
01:27:14,769 --> 01:27:17,082
- More like a rock sphincter.
- Or a troll anus.
1465
01:27:17,185 --> 01:27:19,567
All right, well, you are
going through the anus...
1466
01:27:19,670 --> 01:27:20,982
The hole... the tunnel!
1467
01:27:21,086 --> 01:27:23,088
- Why her?
- You are our canary in the coal mine.
1468
01:27:23,191 --> 01:27:24,606
No, that's impossible. I can't.
1469
01:27:24,710 --> 01:27:26,160
Please let us know if you get through.
1470
01:27:26,263 --> 01:27:28,576
If we don't hear from
you, Fabio's got to die.
1471
01:27:28,679 --> 01:27:30,854
Wait, I'm the damsel in distress?
1472
01:27:31,544 --> 01:27:32,787
It's okay. I'm fine.
1473
01:28:08,823 --> 01:28:11,274
I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't.
1474
01:28:11,377 --> 01:28:13,103
- Hey.
- What?
1475
01:28:13,828 --> 01:28:15,796
Hey, you smell that?
1476
01:28:15,899 --> 01:28:18,833
You mean centuries worth of bat
feces? Yes, I definitely smell that.
1477
01:28:18,937 --> 01:28:21,146
You gotta take a big breath for me.
1478
01:28:26,254 --> 01:28:27,635
There you go.
1479
01:28:27,738 --> 01:28:29,602
You can do it, Loretta.
1480
01:28:42,546 --> 01:28:45,308
I think I see a way out.
1481
01:28:48,863 --> 01:28:51,072
Oh, cheese and rice!
1482
01:28:55,766 --> 01:28:57,113
I made it!
1483
01:28:57,216 --> 01:28:58,700
I made it!
1484
01:28:58,804 --> 01:29:01,289
See? Totally safe.
1485
01:29:02,290 --> 01:29:03,360
Go on. Your turn.
1486
01:29:05,052 --> 01:29:07,951
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1487
01:30:12,119 --> 01:30:14,259
Why would they build this here?
1488
01:30:15,363 --> 01:30:17,089
But how is anyone supposed to worship
1489
01:30:17,193 --> 01:30:18,884
or remember you if
they can't even see it?
1490
01:30:18,988 --> 01:30:20,851
They aren't.
1491
01:30:20,955 --> 01:30:23,924
This isn't a monument
to Kalaman's power.
1492
01:30:25,028 --> 01:30:27,617
It's a hiding place
for a grieving woman.
1493
01:30:27,720 --> 01:30:31,172
Taha came here to
be with her fallen lover.
1494
01:30:32,829 --> 01:30:34,279
She just wanted to be alone.
1495
01:30:35,936 --> 01:30:37,454
Taha doesn't want us here.
1496
01:30:37,558 --> 01:30:38,904
God, shut up, Rafi.
1497
01:30:39,008 --> 01:30:40,871
It's just the volcano.
1498
01:30:42,528 --> 01:30:43,840
Come on.
1499
01:30:48,983 --> 01:30:50,640
We have to keep going.
1500
01:30:58,820 --> 01:31:00,477
All right. Let's go, Muscles.
1501
01:31:01,271 --> 01:31:03,101
Open it up.
1502
01:31:03,204 --> 01:31:05,655
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1503
01:31:05,758 --> 01:31:08,347
Come on. We didn't come all
this way just to pay our respects.
1504
01:31:08,451 --> 01:31:10,108
I can't, um...
1505
01:31:12,869 --> 01:31:15,078
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, abuela.
1506
01:31:36,306 --> 01:31:37,618
What is that?
1507
01:31:39,758 --> 01:31:42,174
Are those... seashells?
1508
01:31:42,933 --> 01:31:45,798
The crown is made of seashells?
1509
01:31:45,902 --> 01:31:47,455
Where's the treasure?
1510
01:31:48,456 --> 01:31:49,906
She's holding him.
1511
01:31:52,702 --> 01:31:54,462
You mean the dead guy?
1512
01:32:00,986 --> 01:32:02,194
Look.
1513
01:32:04,196 --> 01:32:05,922
It's their courtship.
1514
01:32:06,026 --> 01:32:09,926
Kalaman is searching
the island for something.
1515
01:32:12,756 --> 01:32:14,344
Rare red seashells.
1516
01:32:14,448 --> 01:32:19,453
To prove his love, he gave her
one shell every day for a year
1517
01:32:19,556 --> 01:32:21,110
and made them into a crown,
1518
01:32:21,213 --> 01:32:24,009
bright red like the
flame of their love,
1519
01:32:24,113 --> 01:32:27,495
until the day came where
she accepted his proposal.
1520
01:32:27,599 --> 01:32:29,359
It was never about jewels.
1521
01:32:29,463 --> 01:32:33,191
Kalaman and Taha's
riches weren't material.
1522
01:32:35,124 --> 01:32:37,057
It was their love.
1523
01:32:37,160 --> 01:32:39,507
That's what it meant. That was enough.
1524
01:32:39,611 --> 01:32:40,819
So that's it?
1525
01:32:41,716 --> 01:32:44,616
All of that time and money
1526
01:32:45,444 --> 01:32:49,034
spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor?
1527
01:32:49,138 --> 01:32:51,933
- It's a pretty rich metaphor.
- Oh, shut up!
1528
01:32:52,037 --> 01:32:54,074
We got to go. We got to go now.
1529
01:32:54,177 --> 01:32:57,353
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1530
01:32:57,456 --> 01:32:59,527
You think it's all so sweet and poetic.
1531
01:32:59,631 --> 01:33:02,116
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1532
01:33:02,220 --> 01:33:05,154
pondering the richness
of that metaphor.
1533
01:33:05,844 --> 01:33:08,122
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1534
01:33:08,226 --> 01:33:10,676
- Oh, God. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1535
01:33:10,780 --> 01:33:13,403
It's better to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1536
01:33:13,507 --> 01:33:16,786
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1537
01:33:16,889 --> 01:33:18,408
This is a hell of a story.
1538
01:33:18,512 --> 01:33:21,204
Pity you won't be around
to tell it. Come on.
1539
01:33:21,308 --> 01:33:22,895
- But they'll die.
- So will you
1540
01:33:22,999 --> 01:33:25,588
if you don't stop being such
a snowflake! Get over here!
1541
01:33:35,184 --> 01:33:37,186
This is fine. This is not
an active nightmare
1542
01:33:37,289 --> 01:33:38,946
I've had since I was 14 years old.
1543
01:33:40,706 --> 01:33:42,191
Ow!
1544
01:33:42,294 --> 01:33:46,022
Why are you going
so fast? It's not a race.
1545
01:33:51,027 --> 01:33:53,340
Wait, no! What are you
doing? Come back here!
1546
01:33:53,443 --> 01:33:58,138
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1547
01:33:59,000 --> 01:34:00,485
You can't just leave me here!
1548
01:34:02,521 --> 01:34:04,903
Rafi! Come back!
1549
01:34:07,077 --> 01:34:08,493
I need a boat!
1550
01:34:17,916 --> 01:34:20,021
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1551
01:34:22,023 --> 01:34:23,887
Help! Help!
1552
01:34:23,991 --> 01:34:26,096
One of the locals just stole my boat!
1553
01:34:26,200 --> 01:34:27,960
Have you seen a woman?
1554
01:34:28,064 --> 01:34:31,171
She's a brunette in
a sequined jumpsuit.
1555
01:34:31,274 --> 01:34:35,278
No. Is she in some sort of trouble?
1556
01:34:46,945 --> 01:34:48,671
It's kind of funny.
1557
01:34:50,086 --> 01:34:51,881
I used to think this...
1558
01:34:51,984 --> 01:34:53,883
this sort of thing was so romantic.
1559
01:34:53,986 --> 01:34:55,367
Yeah?
1560
01:34:55,471 --> 01:34:58,819
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1561
01:34:58,922 --> 01:35:01,511
or... cuddling dead people?
1562
01:35:02,305 --> 01:35:05,377
Just laying down with a lost love.
1563
01:35:05,481 --> 01:35:06,689
Like Taha did.
1564
01:35:09,243 --> 01:35:10,451
God.Oh...
1565
01:35:11,038 --> 01:35:12,419
Oh, God.
1566
01:35:12,522 --> 01:35:14,731
I'm sorry.
1567
01:35:14,835 --> 01:35:17,286
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.
1568
01:35:17,389 --> 01:35:19,357
I'm sorry I couldn't be Dash.
1569
01:35:19,943 --> 01:35:21,221
You're right.
1570
01:35:22,256 --> 01:35:23,809
You're nothing like Dash.
1571
01:35:23,913 --> 01:35:26,950
You didn't ride in on a
white horse to save me.
1572
01:35:27,054 --> 01:35:32,439
You rode in on a... borrowed
scooter with a broken muffler.
1573
01:35:33,819 --> 01:35:35,235
Yeah.
1574
01:35:35,338 --> 01:35:38,238
I never could've
written a Dash like you.
1575
01:35:40,136 --> 01:35:42,069
'Cause I never knew
1576
01:35:42,759 --> 01:35:44,554
a Dash like Alan.
1577
01:35:44,658 --> 01:35:47,108
I was so afraid of
being hurt by life again
1578
01:35:47,212 --> 01:35:48,593
that I just stopped living.
1579
01:35:48,696 --> 01:35:50,698
Couldn't see the good
things in front of me.
1580
01:35:50,802 --> 01:35:54,288
I'm just so sorry I
didn't see you sooner.
1581
01:35:55,255 --> 01:35:56,980
I have a confession too.
1582
01:35:57,084 --> 01:36:00,984
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1583
01:36:01,088 --> 01:36:04,298
I just wanted to see how it
was gonna turn out, I guess.
1584
01:36:05,610 --> 01:36:08,164
The Adventures of Loretta and Alan.
1585
01:36:10,270 --> 01:36:12,202
No, it would need a
better title than that.
1586
01:36:12,306 --> 01:36:14,274
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
1587
01:36:15,413 --> 01:36:19,209
Sorry. Just... Taha's
femur is poking me.
1588
01:36:22,903 --> 01:36:24,663
Rafi must have left that.
1589
01:36:24,767 --> 01:36:27,287
How do you forget your
crowbar? It's gonna help us escape.
1590
01:36:27,390 --> 01:36:29,012
No, he left it on purpose.
1591
01:36:29,116 --> 01:36:30,807
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1592
01:36:30,911 --> 01:36:32,326
- One...
- Okay.
1593
01:36:32,430 --> 01:36:34,259
- ...two, three!
- Okay.
1594
01:36:34,363 --> 01:36:38,298
I would've preferred him to not leave
us here in the first place, but...
1595
01:36:38,988 --> 01:36:39,816
Okay.
1596
01:37:00,872 --> 01:37:03,081
Dulcius ex asperis.
1597
01:37:07,430 --> 01:37:09,329
Sweeter after difficulty.
1598
01:37:15,956 --> 01:37:17,406
Go up! Run for the trees!
1599
01:37:18,614 --> 01:37:21,513
Wait. Nope. Never
mind. Trees are on fire.
1600
01:37:21,962 --> 01:37:23,653
Okay.
1601
01:37:25,241 --> 01:37:27,105
We can go back through the tunnel.
1602
01:37:28,071 --> 01:37:29,349
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1603
01:37:34,457 --> 01:37:36,425
Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas.
1604
01:37:36,528 --> 01:37:40,083
There's a current. We
can follow it into the ocean.
1605
01:37:40,187 --> 01:37:41,809
How do we know
what's on the other side?
1606
01:37:42,327 --> 01:37:43,397
We don't.
1607
01:37:45,226 --> 01:37:47,367
There's only one way to find out.
1608
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:50,577
- Worth the rash.
- Yeah?
1609
01:38:11,563 --> 01:38:12,564
Alan?
1610
01:38:21,021 --> 01:38:22,263
Alan!
1611
01:38:59,715 --> 01:39:00,716
Alan?
1612
01:39:00,819 --> 01:39:03,512
A... Alan?
1613
01:39:04,720 --> 01:39:05,721
Alan!
1614
01:39:09,000 --> 01:39:10,726
Oh, my God! You're alive!
1615
01:39:10,829 --> 01:39:13,073
- I'm alive.
- Oh, my God. I thought I killed you.
1616
01:39:16,041 --> 01:39:17,008
Is that Beth?
1617
01:39:17,111 --> 01:39:18,354
Loretta!
1618
01:39:18,975 --> 01:39:20,149
Beth!
1619
01:39:20,252 --> 01:39:21,909
Beth! Beth!
1620
01:39:22,013 --> 01:39:23,255
Beth!
1621
01:39:28,916 --> 01:39:30,297
Beth, you're here!
1622
01:39:30,953 --> 01:39:32,161
Why are you here?
1623
01:39:32,264 --> 01:39:35,060
I told you I got your back, girl!
1624
01:39:35,647 --> 01:39:37,442
I'm so sorry!
1625
01:39:37,546 --> 01:39:39,651
I destroyed the jumpsuit!
1626
01:39:40,100 --> 01:39:41,101
What?
1627
01:39:41,204 --> 01:39:43,724
Never mind! Later.
1628
01:39:43,828 --> 01:39:45,830
I found a British guy in a cave.
1629
01:39:45,933 --> 01:39:48,418
I thought he was a little
boy, but he has a full beard.
1630
01:39:48,522 --> 01:39:51,801
Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us!
1631
01:39:51,905 --> 01:39:54,666
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1632
01:39:54,770 --> 01:39:55,771
Get him!
1633
01:39:56,288 --> 01:39:57,462
Stop him!
1634
01:40:05,297 --> 01:40:07,507
I got your back, girl.
1635
01:40:09,647 --> 01:40:11,614
Where were you running? It's a boat.
1636
01:40:11,718 --> 01:40:13,236
This guy's hilarious.
1637
01:40:13,340 --> 01:40:15,066
Got you.
1638
01:40:15,169 --> 01:40:16,446
Swim over to the rock!
1639
01:40:16,550 --> 01:40:18,621
- I don't got you. No, I got you.
- I got you.
1640
01:40:18,725 --> 01:40:20,623
We're gonna get you.
It's gonna be okay.
1641
01:40:20,727 --> 01:40:23,315
"Finding refuge on a nearby rock,
1642
01:40:23,419 --> 01:40:25,525
he lifted her from the water,
1643
01:40:25,628 --> 01:40:28,804
his powerful arms
pulling her body close.
1644
01:40:28,907 --> 01:40:30,046
Alan whispered..."
1645
01:40:30,150 --> 01:40:32,704
Shh. You're safe now.
1646
01:40:35,120 --> 01:40:39,780
"In that moment, Loretta could feel
a new adventure was just beginning."
1647
01:40:41,057 --> 01:40:43,715
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1648
01:40:43,819 --> 01:40:46,753
only inflamed Loretta's desire for him.
1649
01:40:46,856 --> 01:40:51,067
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1650
01:40:51,171 --> 01:40:54,761
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1651
01:40:56,107 --> 01:40:57,936
It's nothing she hasn't read before.
1652
01:40:58,040 --> 01:40:59,420
Didn't I tell you?
1653
01:40:59,524 --> 01:41:02,527
The most beautiful beach in the world.
1654
01:41:02,631 --> 01:41:05,944
Maybe later, I'll show you
the Cove of Enchantment?
1655
01:41:06,048 --> 01:41:07,636
No, you can take Randy.
1656
01:41:07,739 --> 01:41:11,398
Remember, you are
my platonic man friend.
1657
01:41:11,501 --> 01:41:14,539
Platonic? I like the sound of that.
1658
01:41:14,643 --> 01:41:17,300
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1659
01:41:17,404 --> 01:41:19,613
Here you go, Randy.
1660
01:41:21,373 --> 01:41:23,686
- My dear.
- You are an angel. Thank you.
1661
01:41:24,342 --> 01:41:25,757
How did you know?
1662
01:41:37,666 --> 01:41:40,461
- Nice way to end a book tour, right?
- Mm-hmm.
1663
01:41:41,014 --> 01:41:42,843
Um...
1664
01:41:42,947 --> 01:41:47,192
You know, I have a phrase I like to
use in moments like these, actually.
1665
01:41:47,296 --> 01:41:48,538
Um...
1666
01:41:50,023 --> 01:41:51,438
Quid deinde?
1667
01:41:52,577 --> 01:41:55,753
It's Latin. It means,
uh, "What's next?"
1668
01:41:57,651 --> 01:41:59,170
Quid cogitas?
1669
01:41:59,273 --> 01:42:00,654
Mmm.
1670
01:42:01,379 --> 01:42:02,552
Buca di Beppo.
1671
01:42:05,970 --> 01:42:07,627
- Yeah. I know zero other Latin.
- No. Yes.
1672
01:42:07,730 --> 01:42:10,664
I looked it up for this
moment right now.
1673
01:42:11,492 --> 01:42:13,633
So, what does come next?
1674
01:42:13,736 --> 01:42:16,221
- How would you write this?
- I don't know.
1675
01:42:16,325 --> 01:42:18,879
- How would you write it?
- Do we really want me to write this?
1676
01:42:18,983 --> 01:42:21,330
- Just try. Take a stab at it.
- Okay. I'll write it.
1677
01:42:21,433 --> 01:42:22,780
Okay.
1678
01:42:22,883 --> 01:42:25,886
"We were... They were,
uh... standing on a beach."
1679
01:42:25,990 --> 01:42:27,923
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1680
01:42:28,026 --> 01:42:29,821
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1681
01:42:29,925 --> 01:42:31,720
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- You are.
1682
01:42:31,823 --> 01:42:35,827
"There are palm trees above a brown
1683
01:42:36,690 --> 01:42:39,313
bark-like hair of the maiden.
1684
01:42:39,417 --> 01:42:41,281
"There is a dead jellyfish..."
1685
01:42:41,384 --> 01:42:43,835
All you're doing is describing what
you're actually seeing right now.
1686
01:42:43,939 --> 01:42:46,769
"He's nervous because
he really likes her."
1687
01:42:47,632 --> 01:42:49,669
It's nice writing.
1688
01:42:49,772 --> 01:42:51,084
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1689
01:42:51,187 --> 01:42:52,292
I'll keep going.
1690
01:42:52,395 --> 01:42:53,983
"He looked deep in her eyes."
1691
01:42:54,087 --> 01:42:57,538
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1692
01:42:58,332 --> 01:42:59,402
"was the throbbing in the..."
1693
01:42:59,506 --> 01:43:02,612
- Okay, no, you can't throb.
- Why not?
1694
01:43:02,716 --> 01:43:04,442
Can't come out of
the gate with a throb.
1695
01:43:04,545 --> 01:43:06,858
- You throb all the time.
- I don't come out of the gate with it.
1696
01:43:06,962 --> 01:43:08,860
- You have to earn the throb.
- Who made you the queen of throb?
1697
01:43:08,964 --> 01:43:12,657
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1698
01:43:12,761 --> 01:43:14,866
I think you throb in all
the chapters. "Pulsating."
1699
01:43:14,970 --> 01:43:16,903
It's a precursor to throb.
1700
01:43:17,006 --> 01:43:19,112
- "Undulating."
- You just jumped to five.
1701
01:43:19,215 --> 01:43:22,080
- How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?
- Just like a regular kiss?
1702
01:43:22,184 --> 01:43:24,048
Yeah. Like a
beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1703
01:43:24,151 --> 01:43:25,739
I'm good at starting...
1704
01:43:29,605 --> 01:43:31,089
How was that? Any notes?
1705
01:43:31,849 --> 01:43:35,231
Very good first chapter attempt.
1706
01:45:00,489 --> 01:45:01,973
Psst!
1707
01:45:02,629 --> 01:45:04,113
Psst.
1708
01:45:05,080 --> 01:45:06,081
Psst.
1709
01:45:08,152 --> 01:45:09,118
Mother...
1710
01:45:09,222 --> 01:45:10,948
You were dead.
1711
01:45:11,051 --> 01:45:13,916
Your brains came out of your
face and hit the back of my throat.
1712
01:45:14,020 --> 01:45:16,574
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1713
01:45:16,677 --> 01:45:18,300
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1714
01:45:18,403 --> 01:45:23,581
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1715
01:45:23,684 --> 01:45:26,515
So, you're okay?
1716
01:45:26,618 --> 01:45:28,310
One hundred percent.
1717
01:45:28,413 --> 01:45:29,898
Meaning 10%.
1718
01:45:30,001 --> 01:45:31,761
We thought you were dead.
1719
01:45:31,865 --> 01:45:34,592
Naturally, I have some anger
issues I need to let go of.
1720
01:45:34,695 --> 01:45:37,043
- Of course.
- And resentment.
1721
01:45:38,941 --> 01:45:40,287
So good to see you, man.
1722
01:45:40,391 --> 01:45:42,462
Okay, let's keep the chatter down.
1723
01:45:42,565 --> 01:45:46,949
We're closing our eyes and
reconnecting to our breath.
1724
01:45:48,019 --> 01:45:49,124
Great.
1725
01:45:49,952 --> 01:45:50,953
Great.
131215
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