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1
00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:45,911
- The Chief Whip and Party Chairman to see you.
- Take a seat. I'll be right with you.
2
00:00:46,081 --> 00:00:49,676
Bernard, take a seat.
I want you here for this meeting.
3
00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:53,550
- Isn't this a party matter?
- It's also a government matter.
4
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:57,316
- It's about our education policy.
- The government's or party's?
5
00:00:57,481 --> 00:01:01,269
- It's the same thing.
- With respect, they're not the same thing.
6
00:01:01,441 --> 00:01:03,830
- That's why we want the meeting.
- It seems...
7
00:01:04,001 --> 00:01:06,276
Bernard... sit!
8
00:01:10,561 --> 00:01:12,153
Stay.
9
00:01:14,001 --> 00:01:15,798
What's the problem?
10
00:01:15,961 --> 00:01:18,395
- Education.
- What can I do about it?
11
00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:21,758
- You're the Prime Minister.
- Yes, I know.
12
00:01:21,921 --> 00:01:24,640
I have no direct control over education.
13
00:01:24,801 --> 00:01:28,239
I don't control the
curriculum or exams.
14
00:01:28,270 --> 00:01:30,190
I don't control the choice
of head teachers. Nothing.
15
00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:34,280
The voters hold you responsible for
everything. You do have influence.
16
00:01:34,441 --> 00:01:38,597
I'm fed up with it. When I became
PM, I thought I'd have power.
17
00:01:38,628 --> 00:01:40,467
And what have I got?
I've got Influence.
18
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:43,399
I've got no power over
the police, the rates,
19
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:48,715
EEC directives, European courts,
our courts, the judges, NATO.
20
00:01:48,881 --> 00:01:52,590
- What have I got the power to do?
- Lose us the next election.
21
00:01:52,761 --> 00:01:55,594
Which you will if you
don't tackle education.
22
00:01:55,761 --> 00:02:00,357
The voters want something done
about low academic attainment.
23
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,240
- Sex education!
- I'm not against sex education.
24
00:02:03,401 --> 00:02:06,729
I'm not against children being
taught the facts of life in class,
25
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,267
but not homosexual technique!
26
00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:13,599
- Or heterosexual technique, come to that.
- Where should they learn it?
27
00:02:13,761 --> 00:02:16,229
Behind the bike sheds like we did!
28
00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:19,277
Did you?
29
00:02:19,961 --> 00:02:21,952
Never mind sexual technique.
30
00:02:22,121 --> 00:02:25,318
Some of our schools are teaching
more Hindi than English.
31
00:02:25,481 --> 00:02:29,952
I know English is more important, but I
daren't say so or I'd be accused of racism.
32
00:02:30,121 --> 00:02:34,319
When I met the Ethnic Awareness Council,
I happened to glance at my watch
33
00:02:34,481 --> 00:02:39,316
when a black woman delegate was speaking
and I was accused of racist body language.
34
00:02:39,481 --> 00:02:41,073
And sexist.
35
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:43,874
I get the message. What
do you want me to do?
36
00:02:43,905 --> 00:02:45,469
Get a grip on education.
37
00:02:45,601 --> 00:02:48,798
Get Henry to do something
about the Department of Education.
38
00:02:48,961 --> 00:02:51,395
- They've got him house-trained.
- Sack him.
39
00:02:51,561 --> 00:02:54,029
I can't have another Cabinet convulsion.
40
00:02:54,201 --> 00:02:57,716
- Then invite the opposition leader's wife here.
- What can she do?
41
00:02:57,881 --> 00:03:00,873
Start measuring up for
carpets and curtains.
42
00:03:03,881 --> 00:03:06,873
Yes, right, fine. This afternoon?
43
00:03:07,041 --> 00:03:11,000
- Bernard, I believe the PM wants to see me.
- Yes, Sir Humphrey.
44
00:03:11,161 --> 00:03:14,358
- What's his problem?
- Education.
45
00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:18,116
Well, it's a bit late to do
anything about that now.
46
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:21,273
- No, no, the education system.
- I see.
47
00:03:21,441 --> 00:03:25,878
- Bit late to do anything about that either.
- He thinks he'll lose the next election.
48
00:03:26,041 --> 00:03:30,319
- Worse things could befall the nation.
- He can't ignore facts.
49
00:03:30,481 --> 00:03:34,474
If he can't ignore facts,
he's got no business being a politician.
50
00:03:35,601 --> 00:03:38,798
Anyway, Bernard, he's got
nothing to worry about.
51
00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:42,556
The education system does all
most parents require of it.
52
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:45,440
Keeps children out of mischief
while they're at work.
53
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:50,880
That paper the Party Chairman had suggests
the comprehensive system is breaking down.
54
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:57,435
Bernard, I never thought to hear such language
from a loyal member of the Civil Service!
55
00:03:57,601 --> 00:04:01,753
- Have you been got at by the enemy?
- You mean the Russians?
56
00:04:03,561 --> 00:04:08,351
No, Bernard, I mean the Prime Minister's
political advisor - that Wainwright female.
57
00:04:08,521 --> 00:04:13,675
- Comprehensive education ought to be validated.
- Of course, but not invalidated.
58
00:04:13,841 --> 00:04:16,719
But if it was introduced
to improve standards...
59
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:20,078
Whatever gave you that idea?
60
00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:24,875
- You mean it was to get rid of class distinction?
- Precisely!
61
00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:27,236
- So that all children...
- Children?
62
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,598
- Who mentioned children?
- I just...
63
00:04:30,761 --> 00:04:34,151
The Department of Education
never mentions children!
64
00:04:34,321 --> 00:04:36,368
No, no, no, no, Bernard.
65
00:04:36,399 --> 00:04:39,300
It was to get rid of class distinction
in the teaching profession.
66
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:45,552
Improve the living standard of teachers,
not the educational standards of children.
67
00:04:45,721 --> 00:04:48,713
Bring the NUT teachers
up to the salary level
68
00:04:48,881 --> 00:04:53,352
of their rivals in the National Association
of Schoolmasters in the grammar schools.
69
00:04:53,521 --> 00:04:56,513
- But the...
- When there is a Labour government,
70
00:04:56,681 --> 00:05:00,674
the Education Department says
comprehensives abolish the class system.
71
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:05,437
When there's a Tory government, they say it's
the cheapest way to provide mass education.
72
00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:08,798
To Labour, we explain
that selective education is divisive
73
00:05:08,961 --> 00:05:12,397
and to the Tories we explain
that it is expensive.
74
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:17,040
That way, we have a happy
relationship with the NUT...
75
00:05:17,071 --> 00:05:19,707
and we educate our own
children privately.
76
00:05:21,681 --> 00:05:25,390
- But if the government wants change...
- The teaching unions don't.
77
00:05:25,561 --> 00:05:29,156
Isn't it our job to persuade unions
to accept government policy?
78
00:05:29,321 --> 00:05:33,473
No, it is our job to get the government
to accept union policy.
79
00:05:33,641 --> 00:05:39,432
Since government change policy all the time
and unions never change their policy at all,
80
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:44,072
common sense requires that the government
be brought in line with the unions.
81
00:05:46,001 --> 00:05:49,073
Yes, Prime Minister?
Oh, fine. He can see you now.
82
00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:55,320
Sir Humphrey, he's very worried that he seems
responsible for something he can't change.
83
00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:58,473
Yes, I'm sure. Responsibility
without power -
84
00:05:58,641 --> 00:06:01,758
the prerogative of the eunuch
throughout the ages.
85
00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:05,470
- Prime Minister.
- Good morning. What were you saying?
86
00:06:05,641 --> 00:06:09,554
Nothing. I understand you're worried
about the local education authority.
87
00:06:09,721 --> 00:06:12,471
No, the Department of
Education and Science.
88
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:15,860
Indeed? I think the DES
does a splendid job.
89
00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:21,155
Look what's happened to education. This is
a question from a Religious Studies paper.
90
00:06:21,321 --> 00:06:24,279
"Which do you prefer -
atom bombs or charity?"
91
00:06:26,201 --> 00:06:28,192
Even maths is politicised.
92
00:06:28,361 --> 00:06:32,513
"If it costs? billion a year to maintain
Britain's nuclear defences
93
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:36,276
"and 75 a year to feed a
starving African child,
94
00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:39,239
"how many children
could be saved from starvation
95
00:06:39,401 --> 00:06:42,950
"if the Ministry of Defence
abandoned nuclear weapons?"
96
00:06:44,481 --> 00:06:48,679
That's easy. None. They'd spend it all
on conventional weapons.
97
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:52,675
In any case, it's just a sum.
Five billion divided by 75.
98
00:06:52,841 --> 00:06:55,355
But children aren't
learning to do the sums.
99
00:06:55,521 --> 00:06:59,013
The local education
authorities might argue...
100
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,786
that they don't need to.
They have calculators.
101
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,741
They all need to know HOW it's done.
102
00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:07,071
We were all taught basis
arithmetic, weren't we?
103
00:07:07,201 --> 00:07:11,194
Were we? What's 3,947 divided by 73?
104
00:07:11,361 --> 00:07:16,151
Er... Oh, I'd need a pencil and paper
to do that. No, never mind that.
105
00:07:20,201 --> 00:07:23,591
- I could do it when I left school.
- Now you'd use a calculator.
106
00:07:23,761 --> 00:07:27,640
That's not the point. Look at Latin.
Hardly anybody knows that now.
107
00:07:28,361 --> 00:07:31,353
Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis.
108
00:07:32,841 --> 00:07:34,433
What?
109
00:07:35,441 --> 00:07:38,672
- Times change and we change with the times.
- Precisely.
110
00:07:38,841 --> 00:07:43,596
- Si tacuisses, philosophus manisses.
- What does that mean?
111
00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:48,754
If you'd kept your mouth shut,
we might have thought you were clever.
112
00:07:49,841 --> 00:07:54,198
- I beg your pardon?
- Not you, Prime Minister. That's the translation.
113
00:07:54,361 --> 00:07:58,070
No one would have thought
Sir Humphrey was saying that about you.
114
00:07:58,241 --> 00:08:00,277
Go away, Bernard, please.
115
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:06,350
I can't believe it. You had a strict academic
upbringing. Are you denying the value of it?
116
00:08:06,521 --> 00:08:07,998
What's the use of it?
117
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:12,387
I can't even call upon it in conversation
with the PM of Great Britain!
118
00:08:12,521 --> 00:08:14,910
Education in this country is a disaster.
119
00:08:15,081 --> 00:08:19,438
We're supposed to prepare children for work.
Most of the time they're bored stiff.
120
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:24,436
I should've thought that being bored stiff
was an excellent preparation for work.
121
00:08:25,921 --> 00:08:29,709
The school leaving age was raised to 16,
but they're learning less.
122
00:08:29,881 --> 00:08:32,349
We didn't raise it so they'd learn more
123
00:08:32,521 --> 00:08:37,117
but to keep teenagers off the job market
and hold down unemployment figures.
124
00:08:37,281 --> 00:08:39,875
Are you saying there's nothing wrong
with education?
125
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:43,511
Of course not.
It's a joke. It's always been a joke.
126
00:08:43,681 --> 00:08:47,674
By leaving it in the hands of local
councillors, it will remain a joke.
127
00:08:47,841 --> 00:08:49,832
Half of them are your enemies
128
00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:54,279
and the other half are the sort of friends
that make you prefer your enemies.
129
00:08:54,441 --> 00:08:58,275
- What are you saying?
- That education will never get any better
130
00:08:58,441 --> 00:09:01,911
as long as it's subject to all
that tomfoolery in the town halls.
131
00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:05,471
Imagine what would happen
if you put defence in their hands.
132
00:09:05,641 --> 00:09:08,201
- Defence?
- Give councils 100 million each
133
00:09:08,361 --> 00:09:13,151
and ask them to defend themselves,
we'd have a civil war in three weeks!
134
00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:17,711
- You're being silly.
- Am I? That's what's happened to education.
135
00:09:17,881 --> 00:09:22,432
And why? Because nobody thinks education
is serious the way defence is serious.
136
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:25,877
So that's why civil defence
is in local authority hands?
137
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:28,839
Of course. Because everybody
knows it's a joke.
138
00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:33,995
You just don't leave important matters
in the hands of those clowns!
139
00:09:34,161 --> 00:09:36,755
And as you've left education to them,
140
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:41,039
one must assume that, until now,
you have attached little importance to it.
141
00:09:41,201 --> 00:09:44,477
It is important.
It could lose me the next election.
142
00:09:44,641 --> 00:09:46,438
Ah!
143
00:09:46,601 --> 00:09:51,834
In my naivety, I thought you were concerned
about the future of our children.
144
00:09:52,561 --> 00:09:56,156
Yes, that too. After all,
they get the vote at 18.
145
00:09:56,321 --> 00:10:02,112
Then, Prime Minister, then centralise.
Take it away from the local councils.
146
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:05,401
Put it under the Department of Education,
then you could do something about it.
147
00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:10,994
Do you think I could? Grasp the nettle,
take the bull by the horns?
148
00:10:11,161 --> 00:10:15,359
You can't take the bull by the horns
if you're grasping the nettle.
149
00:10:15,521 --> 00:10:17,273
Oh, really, Bernard?
150
00:10:18,041 --> 00:10:23,354
By grasping the nettle with one hand, you could
take the bull by one horn with the other hand,
151
00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:26,513
but not both horns
because your hand isn't big enough.
152
00:10:26,681 --> 00:10:31,471
If you did take the bull by one horn,
it would be rather dangerous because...
153
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:38,995
Well, it was just a mixed metaphor and
since we were discussing education, I...
154
00:10:39,161 --> 00:10:41,755
Thank God!
155
00:10:42,761 --> 00:10:46,037
Yes? Your political advisor's outside.
156
00:10:46,201 --> 00:10:48,099
Send her in, Bernard.
Humphrey, thank you.
157
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:49,428
Thank you.
158
00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:54,112
- You've given me much food for thought.
- In that case, Prime Minister, bon appetit.
159
00:10:56,401 --> 00:10:58,119
Dear lady.
160
00:10:58,801 --> 00:11:02,589
- Yes, Dorothy?
- My notes for your tour of the north-west.
161
00:11:02,761 --> 00:11:05,321
Visits to hospitals and factories.
162
00:11:05,481 --> 00:11:08,951
- Drumming up votes in marginal constituencies.
- No!
163
00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:12,716
- Why not?
- I'm coming with you if it's a government tour.
164
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:16,999
If it's canvassing marginals,
I can't come and the Treasury can't pay.
165
00:11:17,161 --> 00:11:22,155
It's a government visit. It's coincidence
that all the stop-offs are in marginals.
166
00:11:22,321 --> 00:11:25,438
- Well, that's all right, then.
- That's OK.
167
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:28,320
What can I do about education? Quickly.
168
00:11:28,481 --> 00:11:32,520
- You mean do or appear to do?
- Appear to do. I can't do, obviously.
169
00:11:32,681 --> 00:11:38,472
Well, in the short term, we could get you on TV
associated with something good and successful.
170
00:11:38,641 --> 00:11:41,997
- Is there something?
- I had thought of this for your schedule.
171
00:11:42,161 --> 00:11:46,951
- You could fit it in.
- St Margaret's School Young Enterprise Scheme.
172
00:11:47,121 --> 00:11:49,816
It's set up its own
manufacturing company.
173
00:11:49,847 --> 00:11:52,544
They make cheeseboards,
paperweights, toast racks,
174
00:11:52,681 --> 00:11:56,469
sell them and track the operation
in their business-study classes.
175
00:11:56,641 --> 00:12:00,919
- They involve local businessmen. Parents help.
- Does it cost a lot?
176
00:12:01,081 --> 00:12:05,438
- No, it makes a profit.
- Isn't it teaching them to be rather grasping?
177
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:09,799
- No, they give the money to local charity.
- Fine, I'll do it.
178
00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:15,558
Make sure the TV crews have plenty of time to
cover me... er... cover the event properly.
179
00:12:15,721 --> 00:12:20,511
Write me a speech with a snappy,
20-second piece for the news bulletins.
180
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:23,479
- That should win back a few seats.
- Prime Minister.
181
00:12:23,641 --> 00:12:28,351
Er, give a lead to those responsible
for the nation's education, Bernard.
182
00:12:28,521 --> 00:12:30,716
Of course, Prime Minister.
183
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:34,271
Finally, the PM visited
St Margaret's School
184
00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,432
on his north-western tour.
185
00:12:36,601 --> 00:12:39,593
The school has set up
a manufacturing business
186
00:12:39,761 --> 00:12:44,198
where the children make a variety of goods
for sale in the local community.
187
00:12:44,361 --> 00:12:49,481
The children do their own sales and
marketing and use the experience they gain
188
00:12:49,641 --> 00:12:53,680
as a basis for their maths
and business studies.
189
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:57,880
The Prime Minister was presented
with an example of the school's output.
190
00:12:59,121 --> 00:13:01,589
In conclusion, I must congratulate you
191
00:13:01,761 --> 00:13:06,198
on all the hard work, the discipline
and the success of your enterprise.
192
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:09,549
You've set an example
in British education
193
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,863
which other schools would
do well to follow.
194
00:13:12,001 --> 00:13:17,917
We need more schools like St Margaret's
and I shall always treasure your present.
195
00:13:18,081 --> 00:13:21,869
No Prime Minister ever lost a seat
if he could help itl
196
00:13:24,601 --> 00:13:27,991
And that was
the six o'clock news from the BBC.
197
00:13:30,961 --> 00:13:33,429
- I thought that was OK, didn't you?
- Fine.
198
00:13:33,601 --> 00:13:36,399
- My joke went down well.
- MY joke!
199
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:42,555
Better than Channel 4 coverage. They didn't
describe it as the PM's tour of the north-west.
200
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:46,509
They said, "Jim Hacker touring
the marginal constituencies."
201
00:13:46,681 --> 00:13:50,799
- That's true, isn't it?
- But they shouldn't say it. It's biased reporting!
202
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:54,510
- Reporting the facts?
- Nothing wrong with visiting the marginals.
203
00:13:54,681 --> 00:13:58,435
- What they said was still true.
- It was still biased to say it!
204
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:02,594
I'm not interested in your paranoia.
I was interested in that school.
205
00:14:02,761 --> 00:14:07,437
- Parents queue up to get their children into it.
- Pity they can't all get in. Coffee?
206
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:11,640
- Lovely.
- Why can't more parents send children there?
207
00:14:11,801 --> 00:14:14,599
- No room.
- There is. School numbers are falling.
208
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:17,673
- That'd mean poaching the other schools.
- So what?
209
00:14:17,841 --> 00:14:20,150
The other schools would have to close.
210
00:14:20,321 --> 00:14:23,199
Great! St Margaret's could
take over their buildings.
211
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:26,194
- Darling, that wouldn't be fair.
- Who to?
212
00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:32,277
- The teachers in the schools that had to close.
- Good ones could teach at the popular schools.
213
00:14:32,441 --> 00:14:36,116
What about the bad teachers?
It wouldn't be fair on them.
214
00:14:36,281 --> 00:14:40,320
What about the children, or are the
bad teachers' jobs more important?
215
00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:44,504
Darling, it's... it's no good. Who's
to say who are the bad teachers?
216
00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:45,348
It just wouldn't work.
217
00:14:45,441 --> 00:14:48,831
- Why not?
- Well... it wouldn't work.
218
00:14:49,001 --> 00:14:51,037
- Why not?
- What do you mean?
219
00:14:51,201 --> 00:14:53,123
Suppose schools were like doctors.
220
00:14:53,154 --> 00:14:57,181
In the NHS, you choose which
doctor to go to, don't you?
221
00:14:57,321 --> 00:14:59,789
- Yes.
- And he gets paid per patient.
222
00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:04,951
Why don't we do the same with schools?
Have a National Education Service.
223
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:09,000
Parents could choose the schools
and the schools get paid per pupil.
224
00:15:09,161 --> 00:15:11,800
- Exactly!
- There'd be an outcry.
225
00:15:11,961 --> 00:15:15,670
- From the parents?
- No, from the Department of Education.
226
00:15:15,841 --> 00:15:19,231
- I see. And who has the most votes?
- The DES would block it.
227
00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:21,995
- Fine, get rid of them.
- What?
228
00:15:22,161 --> 00:15:25,756
- Get rid of the Department of Education.
- I don't understand you.
229
00:15:25,921 --> 00:15:30,358
Get rid of it, abolish it,
remove it, expunge it,
230
00:15:30,521 --> 00:15:34,116
eliminate it, eradicate it, exterminate it!
231
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:37,671
- Get rid of it!
- Get rid of it?
232
00:15:37,841 --> 00:15:40,196
- Yes.
- I couldn't do that.
233
00:15:40,361 --> 00:15:43,751
- Why not? What does it do?
- I could do that.
234
00:15:45,001 --> 00:15:47,390
Local government could administer the lot.
235
00:15:47,561 --> 00:15:51,759
We could have a Board of School Inspectors.
The rest could go to Environment.
236
00:15:51,921 --> 00:15:55,709
I could send that house-trained idiot Henry
to the House of Lords.
237
00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:58,441
Golly. I wonder what Humphrey will say.
238
00:15:58,601 --> 00:16:01,798
Whatever he says,
I want to be there when you tell him.
239
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:06,034
To witness the clash between the political
will and the administrative will?
240
00:16:06,201 --> 00:16:10,672
I think it'll be a clash between the
political will and the administrative won't.
241
00:16:14,361 --> 00:16:17,671
- You sent for me, Prime Minister?
- Humphrey, come in. Sit down.
242
00:16:17,841 --> 00:16:20,700
I want to bounce an idea off you.
243
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,229
I've realised how to reform
the educational system.
244
00:16:23,881 --> 00:16:27,590
Excellent, Prime Minister.
245
00:16:27,761 --> 00:16:32,198
I'm going to let parents move their
children to any school they want.
246
00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:37,831
You mean after application, scrutiny,
tribunal hearing and appeals procedures?
247
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:42,791
- No, just move them whenever they want to.
- I'm sorry. I don't quite follow.
248
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:47,751
This government will let parents decide
which schools to send their children to.
249
00:16:47,921 --> 00:16:50,719
Prime Minister, you can't be serious!
250
00:16:50,881 --> 00:16:53,270
- I am.
- But it's preposterous!
251
00:16:53,441 --> 00:16:56,911
- Why?
- You can't expect parents to make these choices.
252
00:16:57,081 --> 00:17:01,040
How on earth would parents know
which schools are best?
253
00:17:01,201 --> 00:17:05,399
- Which school did you go to, Humphrey?
- Winchester.
254
00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:08,394
- Was it good?
- Oh, excellent, of course.
255
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:11,951
- Who chose it?
- My parents, naturally.
256
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:18,791
Now, that's different, Prime Minister.
My parents were discerning people.
257
00:17:18,961 --> 00:17:22,795
You can't expect ordinary people
to know where to send their children.
258
00:17:22,961 --> 00:17:26,112
- Why not?
- Well, how could they tell?
259
00:17:26,281 --> 00:17:29,876
They could tell if their kids
could read, write and do sums
260
00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:32,191
and if the exam results were good.
261
00:17:32,361 --> 00:17:34,397
- Exam results aren't everything.
- True.
262
00:17:34,561 --> 00:17:39,351
Parents who don't want an academic education for
their children can pick progressive schools.
263
00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:43,719
But parents have no qualifications
to make these choices.
264
00:17:43,881 --> 00:17:49,274
Teachers are the professionals. Parents
are the worst people to bring up children.
265
00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:55,480
They've no qualifications, no training. You
don't expect untrained teachers to teach.
266
00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,711
The same should apply to parents.
267
00:17:57,881 --> 00:18:02,079
- Before having children, they should be trained?
- No, that's no problem.
268
00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:05,039
They've all been trained to HAVE kids.
269
00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:08,398
Sex-education classes have been standard
for some years.
270
00:18:08,561 --> 00:18:10,552
Perhaps we could do better.
271
00:18:10,721 --> 00:18:15,511
Before people can have children, we should
make them sit exams - written and practical.
272
00:18:15,681 --> 00:18:20,152
Perhaps both. Then they could be issued
with breeding licences.
273
00:18:22,281 --> 00:18:25,671
Oh, very droll, Prime Minister.
274
00:18:25,841 --> 00:18:30,676
No, but I'm being serious. It's looking after
children that parents are not qualified for.
275
00:18:30,841 --> 00:18:34,993
That's why they have no idea
which schools to choose. It couldn't work.
276
00:18:35,161 --> 00:18:36,849
What about the Health Service?
277
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,061
People choose their doctor
without medical qualifications.
278
00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,396
- Ah, yes, well, that's different.
- How?
279
00:18:42,561 --> 00:18:47,157
Well, doctors are...
The patients aren't parents, dear lady.
280
00:18:47,321 --> 00:18:50,631
Oh, really? What makes
you think that, Humpy?
281
00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:55,873
Not as such. In any case,
as a matter of fact,
282
00:18:56,041 --> 00:19:01,240
I think letting people choose doctors
is a very bad idea, very messy.
283
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:05,792
Much tidier to allocate
people to GPs, much fairer.
284
00:19:05,961 --> 00:19:10,637
Then everyone has an equal chance
of getting the bad doctors.
285
00:19:10,801 --> 00:19:14,999
- I see.
- In any case, we're talking about education.
286
00:19:15,161 --> 00:19:17,152
With respect, Prime Minister,
287
00:19:17,321 --> 00:19:22,520
I think that the DES will react with some
caution to your rather novel proposals.
288
00:19:22,681 --> 00:19:26,833
- You mean they'll block it.
- They will give it urgent consideration
289
00:19:27,001 --> 00:19:30,994
and insist on a thorough and rigorous
examination of all the proposals
290
00:19:31,161 --> 00:19:34,631
allied to a detailed feasibility study
and budget analysis
291
00:19:34,801 --> 00:19:39,829
before producing a consultative document
for consideration by all interested bodies
292
00:19:40,001 --> 00:19:43,596
and seeking comments and recommendations
to be included in a brief
293
00:19:43,761 --> 00:19:47,834
for a series of working parties
who will produce individual studies
294
00:19:48,001 --> 00:19:51,994
which will provide the background
for a more wide-ranging document
295
00:19:52,161 --> 00:19:57,918
considering whether or not the proposal
should be taken forward to the next stage.
296
00:19:58,081 --> 00:20:01,153
- You mean they'll block it.
- Yeah.
297
00:20:02,121 --> 00:20:03,873
- No problem.
- We thought you'd say that.
298
00:20:04,041 --> 00:20:05,713
- We have a solution.
- Oh, yes?
299
00:20:05,881 --> 00:20:07,633
We'll abolish the DES.
300
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:12,516
- I'm sorry?
- We'll abolish it.
301
00:20:12,681 --> 00:20:14,831
- Abolish it?
- Why not?
302
00:20:15,001 --> 00:20:17,310
Abolish Education and Science?!
303
00:20:17,481 --> 00:20:20,114
That'd be the end of
civilisation as we know it!
304
00:20:20,145 --> 00:20:22,904
Only the department.
Education will flourish.
305
00:20:23,041 --> 00:20:27,353
- With no government department? Impossible!
- Departments are tombstones.
306
00:20:27,521 --> 00:20:30,718
The Department of Industry
marks the grave of industry,
307
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,679
the Department of Employment,
that of employment,
308
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:37,038
the Department of Environment,
that of the environment.
309
00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:42,070
And the Department of Education marks where
the corpse of British education is buried.
310
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,709
What does the DES do? What's its role?
311
00:20:44,881 --> 00:20:47,600
I hardly know where to begin!
312
00:20:47,761 --> 00:20:50,719
It lays down guidelines, it centralises
313
00:20:50,881 --> 00:20:53,608
and channels money into
education authorities,
314
00:20:53,639 --> 00:20:56,110
University Grants Committee,
it sets standards!
315
00:20:56,241 --> 00:20:58,994
- Does it set the curriculum?
- It would like to!
316
00:20:59,161 --> 00:21:02,949
- Select and change head teachers?
- Maintain school buildings?
317
00:21:03,121 --> 00:21:04,759
- No...
- Set exams?
318
00:21:04,921 --> 00:21:07,913
- No...
- Does it choose the children?
319
00:21:08,081 --> 00:21:12,950
- How does it affect what a child does at school?
- It supplies 60% of the cash.
320
00:21:13,121 --> 00:21:16,670
Why can't the cash
go from the Treasury to the schools?
321
00:21:16,841 --> 00:21:20,390
Do we need 2,000 civil servants
to funnel money from A to B?
322
00:21:20,561 --> 00:21:24,520
The DES also creates a legislative
framework for education.
323
00:21:24,681 --> 00:21:26,658
Not much legislation, surely.
324
00:21:26,689 --> 00:21:29,990
Environment could do that. They deal
with other local authority matters.
325
00:21:30,121 --> 00:21:32,112
You can't be serious!
326
00:21:32,289 --> 00:21:35,672
Who'd assess forward planning
and staffing variations,
327
00:21:35,703 --> 00:21:37,029
variations in pupil populations,
328
00:21:37,161 --> 00:21:40,153
density of schooling required
in urban and rural areas?
329
00:21:40,321 --> 00:21:44,109
- Who'd make sure everything ran properly?
- 2,500 private schools
330
00:21:44,281 --> 00:21:48,479
seem to solve these problems every day
without any help from the DES.
331
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:51,235
They respond to changing circumstances.
332
00:21:51,401 --> 00:21:54,791
- Supply and demand. It's easy.
- Who would plan for the future?
333
00:21:54,961 --> 00:21:57,953
Education today is what
the department planned?
334
00:21:58,121 --> 00:22:00,874
Well, of... No, of course not!
335
00:22:01,041 --> 00:22:05,034
- Is there anything else that the DES does?
- Well, it... it...
336
00:22:06,081 --> 00:22:09,676
Well, we don't need it, then, do we? QED.
337
00:22:11,001 --> 00:22:13,196
Quod erat demonstrandum.
338
00:22:16,361 --> 00:22:18,829
I really... Quite unthinkable.
339
00:22:19,001 --> 00:22:21,907
Once they start abolishing
whole departments,
340
00:22:21,938 --> 00:22:24,549
the very foundations of
civilisation crumble.
341
00:22:24,681 --> 00:22:29,391
- Barbarians at the gates.
- The return of the Dark Ages.
342
00:22:29,561 --> 00:22:33,349
Did anything like this crop up
when you were Cabinet Secretary?
343
00:22:33,521 --> 00:22:38,754
No. We let them amalgamate departments,
but that worked very well.
344
00:22:38,921 --> 00:22:41,515
Yes, quite. You keep the existing staff
345
00:22:41,681 --> 00:22:45,879
and you put in an extra layer
of coordinating management at the top.
346
00:22:46,041 --> 00:22:52,150
Exactly. But you have to stop the liquidation
of the Department of Education, Humphrey.
347
00:22:52,321 --> 00:22:55,518
Have you tried discrediting
the person who proposed it?
348
00:22:55,681 --> 00:23:00,118
No point. It was the Wainwright female,
so he's passing it off as his own idea.
349
00:23:00,281 --> 00:23:05,719
- Discrediting the facts behind it?
- It's a political idea, so facts don't come into it.
350
00:23:08,001 --> 00:23:11,596
- Massaging the figures?
- No figures are involved.
351
00:23:11,761 --> 00:23:15,595
But it's hard to get the Prime Minister
to see that it's a bad idea.
352
00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:20,357
Of course. It's actually a very good idea.
It just mustn't happen.
353
00:23:21,361 --> 00:23:26,515
I wonder if we oughtn't to play along with it-
in the interests of the nation's children.
354
00:23:26,681 --> 00:23:31,152
Never mind the nation's children.
What about our colleagues at the DES?
355
00:23:31,321 --> 00:23:34,040
- Of course. Sorry.
- Let's be clear about this.
356
00:23:34,201 --> 00:23:37,910
The only people who'll like this idea
are the parents and the children.
357
00:23:38,081 --> 00:23:41,278
Everyone who counts will be against it.
358
00:23:41,441 --> 00:23:43,796
- Teachers' unions.
- Local authorities.
359
00:23:43,961 --> 00:23:48,000
- Educational press.
- And, of course, the DES.
360
00:23:48,161 --> 00:23:53,793
- So what's the strategy?
- Unions can be counted on to disrupt the schools.
361
00:23:53,961 --> 00:23:57,476
And go on TV saying
the government are causing the disruption.
362
00:23:57,641 --> 00:24:03,716
Good. Local councils will threaten to turn the
constituency parties against the government.
363
00:24:03,881 --> 00:24:07,874
The Department of Education will delay
every stage of the process
364
00:24:08,041 --> 00:24:11,238
and leak anything
that embarrasses the government.
365
00:24:11,401 --> 00:24:14,791
We can help with that
at the Campaign for Freedom of Information.
366
00:24:14,961 --> 00:24:16,713
Thank you, Arnold.
367
00:24:17,761 --> 00:24:19,558
Ah, thanks.
368
00:24:21,601 --> 00:24:26,152
But what are we actually... Thank
you, Billy. What's our argument?
369
00:24:26,801 --> 00:24:31,829
Well, obviously, that this new proposal
will destroy our educational system.
370
00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:36,199
- Everybody knows it's destroyed already.
- Well, we will say...
371
00:24:36,361 --> 00:24:41,958
Sorry, the press will say that it's government
interference in the DES that destroyed it
372
00:24:42,121 --> 00:24:44,794
and that this new plan
will make things worse.
373
00:24:44,961 --> 00:24:48,795
- Will that do the trick?
- It always has in the past.
374
00:24:48,961 --> 00:24:52,672
But this time the political
pressure is stronger.
375
00:24:52,703 --> 00:24:55,510
You must find a political
weapon to fight it with.
376
00:24:56,881 --> 00:25:00,237
What political weapon
did you have in mind, Arnold?
377
00:25:00,801 --> 00:25:03,998
I? That is your concern, Humphrey.
378
00:25:04,361 --> 00:25:09,993
Your chance to prove yourself worthy of the
high office to which you've been called.
379
00:25:16,241 --> 00:25:18,880
- The PM's ready to see you.
- What's it about?
380
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:23,432
- The abolition of the DES, I'm afraid.
- This is going to be bloody.
381
00:25:23,601 --> 00:25:27,196
- There's a minor matter I need your advice...
- Is it important?
382
00:25:27,361 --> 00:25:29,750
- Not important but urgent.
- What is it?
383
00:25:29,921 --> 00:25:34,517
You know that enterprise school the PM
visited, when they gave him that stool?
384
00:25:34,681 --> 00:25:38,720
It's just come to light that the wood
they were using was stolen.
385
00:25:38,881 --> 00:25:40,872
Bernard, this is hardly...
386
00:25:43,801 --> 00:25:45,598
Stolen?
387
00:25:45,761 --> 00:25:50,596
Yes, it was government property
stolen from a YTS workshop last year.
388
00:25:51,561 --> 00:25:53,552
How shocking.
389
00:25:54,801 --> 00:25:58,396
It was referred to the DES,
as the theft came to light at a school.
390
00:25:58,561 --> 00:26:01,712
They don't know whether to prosecute.
Sorry to bother...
391
00:26:01,881 --> 00:26:04,270
Don't mention it, Bernard.
392
00:26:07,001 --> 00:26:08,992
Show me in.
393
00:26:11,161 --> 00:26:14,358
Come in, Humphrey. Come in, come in!
Sit down.
394
00:26:14,521 --> 00:26:18,400
Only one item on the agenda today -
the abolition of the DES.
395
00:26:18,561 --> 00:26:23,510
Actually, if there's only
one item, it's an agenDUM.
396
00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:28,152
I don't think the Prime Minister's
got as far as the second declension.
397
00:26:28,321 --> 00:26:31,602
I don't mind your scoring
cheap debating points
398
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:33,789
since you've already lost
the battle of the DES.
399
00:26:33,921 --> 00:26:36,312
The DES will be very upset.
400
00:26:36,343 --> 00:26:38,229
Does it matter since
they'll cease to exist?
401
00:26:38,361 --> 00:26:41,751
The process will take a few years.
They'll fight tooth and nail.
402
00:26:41,921 --> 00:26:45,118
- What can they do to me?
- They're a formidable department.
403
00:26:45,281 --> 00:26:48,591
- I am a formidable Prime Minister.
- Indeed you are.
404
00:26:48,761 --> 00:26:51,559
But you might still need their cooperation.
405
00:26:51,721 --> 00:26:56,431
Cooperation? From the Department
of Education? Don't make me laugh!
406
00:26:57,281 --> 00:27:01,274
Fine, fine. I'll tell them to go ahead
with the prosecution, then.
407
00:27:02,521 --> 00:27:06,560
- What prosecution?
- Oh, it's hardly worth bothering you with.
408
00:27:06,721 --> 00:27:09,952
That enterprise school
where you were televised last week.
409
00:27:10,121 --> 00:27:14,114
- Yes?
- The profits... A model for other schools...
410
00:27:14,281 --> 00:27:16,272
Yes, yes, go on.
411
00:27:16,441 --> 00:27:21,720
- The profits were the proceeds of theft.
- Theft? What do you mean, theft?
412
00:27:22,561 --> 00:27:27,510
I mean removing goods without the knowledge
or consent of the owner with the intent of...
413
00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:30,673
I know what theft means. What do YOU mean?
414
00:27:30,841 --> 00:27:33,309
Well, the stool that they gave you
415
00:27:33,481 --> 00:27:37,190
was made from wood appropriated
from the local YTS workshops.
416
00:27:37,361 --> 00:27:40,751
- What do you mean?
- It was nicked.
417
00:27:40,921 --> 00:27:43,151
By two of last year's pupils.
418
00:27:43,321 --> 00:27:46,279
- A pair of nickers.
- Thank you, Bernard.
419
00:27:47,281 --> 00:27:49,590
The YTS want to prosecute.
420
00:27:49,761 --> 00:27:54,039
Now, the Department of Education
could stop them.
421
00:27:54,201 --> 00:27:57,238
You know, return the wood and hush it up.
422
00:27:57,401 --> 00:28:00,950
Millions saw me on TV saying
that school was an example!
423
00:28:01,121 --> 00:28:03,681
Well, it is a sort of example.
424
00:28:03,841 --> 00:28:05,593
They mustn't prosecute!
425
00:28:05,761 --> 00:28:08,745
I hope the Department
of Education...
426
00:28:08,776 --> 00:28:11,229
won't leak the fact that
you're covering up for crooks.
427
00:28:11,361 --> 00:28:15,354
- You must tell them not to prosecute.
- That would need their cooperation.
428
00:28:16,761 --> 00:28:20,913
I can just see the newspapers -
"Jim's enterprising crooks.
429
00:28:21,081 --> 00:28:26,713
"The Prime Minister has sat on the fence
for so long that now he's become one."
430
00:28:28,841 --> 00:28:31,230
Persuade them not to prosecute.
431
00:28:31,401 --> 00:28:34,823
It's very difficult to
persuade people to cooperate
432
00:28:34,854 --> 00:28:37,142
if they are actually
under a death sentence.
433
00:28:37,281 --> 00:28:40,557
- Death sentence?
- If you're abolishing the department.
434
00:28:41,161 --> 00:28:42,640
Oh!
435
00:28:42,801 --> 00:28:44,598
Oh, that!
436
00:28:45,361 --> 00:28:48,671
No, that was just... a vague idea...
437
00:28:50,881 --> 00:28:52,872
of Dorothy's.
438
00:28:54,081 --> 00:28:56,276
An idle thought. Nothing serious.
439
00:28:56,441 --> 00:28:58,272
- You're sure?
- Positive.
440
00:28:58,441 --> 00:29:03,231
Splendid, Prime Minister.
Shall we now continue with the agendum?
441
00:29:03,401 --> 00:29:06,791
Agendum? Oh, yes!
442
00:29:06,961 --> 00:29:08,792
We have no agendum.
443
00:29:08,961 --> 00:29:12,158
We have no agendum today!
444
00:29:14,681 --> 00:29:17,718
Business concluded. All right, Humphrey?
445
00:29:18,481 --> 00:29:20,472
Yes, Prime Minister.
42004
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