All language subtitles for Midsomer Murders S14E04 - The Oblong Murders

(opera music)

(door buzzer)

Yes?

Yes, of course.

This is a surprise.

How awful.

Not at all. Come on up. It's the third floor.

You could probably do with a drink.

(yelps)

Sykesy.

Coffee's on the table. Ooh, and I meant to tell you.

I think I might have found a dog minder for Sykes.

Millie Bullard, sister to the one and only George.

I wondered if you would ask him to put in a good word.

Apparently she's very particular,

so some serious sucking-up is required.

Message received.

Is Ben back from his course today?

Yeah, he is. The role playing went down well, apparently.

- (phone rings) - See you later.

Yeah. Hello.

I'll be there right away.

Easy does it.

(man) She's over there.

Morning, John.

Kids found her trapped in the weir.

Why are you...?

I was in the station when the call came in.

I thought it might have...

- (man) It's a false alarm. - Thank God for that.

Right, let's get her out.

You thought it might have been...?

John, I've got a favour to ask.

Ask away.

I wouldn't bother you normally.

I know these things happen all the time.

A young adult goes off,

doesn't bother telling her parents what she's doing.

Someone you know?

The daughter of some very old friends of mine.

The Olivers. Jim and Mary. Name's Lucy. Lovely girl.

But she's just gone completely off the radar.

Have you heard of the Oblong Foundation?

Oh, the New Age people at Malham Hall.

Yeah. The Obbies, as the locals call them.

Well, Lucy went on one of their induction courses for a week...

and stayed five or six months.

Regular home calls to her mum and dad twice a week.

And then she just disappeared. Not a word for two months now.

So Jim hired a private detective

who was supposed to be an expert on cults.

But they fell out over money

and he's no longer working for them.

They're desperate,

and I can understand why.

The spokesperson for the Oblong Foundation

claims to have no knowledge of her whereabouts.

I'll check it out.

I appreciate it, John.

And if there's anything I can do...

- What? - Um... It's nothing.

What?

(dogs bark)

(woman) Quiet!

- Morning! This is John Barnaby. - Miss Bullard.

- Very pleased to meet you. - It's Millie. Where's Sykes?

I was introducing you to John Barnaby.

It's pointless if I don't meet the dog.

(phone rings, dogs bark)

Come in, come in. Quiet!

Yes? Oh, hello.

Look, there are plenty of other dog minders about.

Well, nothing has altered since yesterday

and I don't envisage anything changing for several months.

Outside!

No. No.

No.

My sister's always been forthright.

But she's normally pretty straightforward to deal with.

She hasn't put you out in the garden before?

No.

How long have the Oblong people been at Malham Hall?

Getting on for a couple of years.

Ruth Lambert inherited the place from her parents

who died in a boating accident.

You may have heard of them. Property developer and his wife.

Oh, I remember. It was a gas explosion, wasn't it?

Yeah. Ruth was a member of the Oblong Foundation.

You're not suggesting there's a connection?

There was no evidence of foul play.

The coroner was unequivocal. Accidental death.

But it has proved quite convenient for the foundation.

I'll have them send over the file,

just in case there's something.

I do apologise about all that. Come in.

I'm afraid George has wasted your time, Mr Barnaby.

I need to see you and Sykes together,

So if the two of you could come back tomorrow, say about midday?

- No problem. - Perfect.

See you tomorrow.

Bye, George.

My sister.

We have no idea where your daughter is.

- I'm sure she'll be in touch. - Where's Lucy, eh? Weirdos.

- Where is she? - Just stop that now.

- Tree huggers! - Stop that. It's not helping.

Perhaps you should look to yourselves first.

- Dominic, I'll handle this. - You cannot force us to leave.

Everybody stop now, please.

If you're not on your way within three seconds,

I will be doing you for assault.

What, with a dangerous egg?

Three... two...

(mouths)

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby, Causton CID.

- Who's in charge? - Freddie Raft.

Freddie, if you wait for me inside,

I'll be with you shortly.

Mr and Mrs Oliver. We need to talk.

We've heard nothing. Neither have any of Lucy's friends.

It's totally out of character.

Do you know if her phone or credit cards have been used?

We tried to find out, but they say it's all confidential.

They refuse to tell us anything.

Press have been in touch, talking about doing a story

and... using her picture.

We're not keen, but...

I don't know what else we can do.

They've agreed to no more demos for two weeks.

In return I was hoping you might tell me

about the circumstances of Lucy's disappearance.

Departure. She hasn't disappeared.

She didn't tell you where she was going, what she was doing?

No, but even if she had,

I'd be unable to tell her parents without her permission.

Or you. We take confidentiality very seriously.

Freddie, I'm telling you, in a friendly way,

that if you hear from Lucy, you will call me.

I don't need to know where she is, just that she's OK.

Do you understand?

And if you need to talk to anyone,

can you do it through me, please?

Who's that?

Thank you, yes. Just lay them out.

(Freddie) That's Ruth and Dominic.

Dominic's our inspirational teacher.

Ruth's the owner of Malham Hall.

She's a long-standing member of the foundation.

Thank you.

(woman) They're pretty harmless as cults go.

Harmless? Jerry and Carolyn Lambert

would be spinning in their graves

if they knew what was happening up the hall.

The mind control, psychological manipulation.

And then there's the nudity and the orgies

and the ritualised flagellations.

Not all bad, then, what?

We get the odd absconder down here, desperate for a drink.

But the fun police from the hall arrive and round them up.

They've got an uncanny knack of knowing when they're here.

Lucy Oliver was here the night before she disappeared.

Well, that's why the chief inspector's here, isn't it?

Lucy Oliver's disappearance.

Did she say anything about where she was going?

No word about going anywhere, but that Freddie woman

got down here a bit quick,

and the chat they had was... intense.

You didn't hear what they were discussing?

No, but when Lucy left that evening,

that was the last we saw of her.

There are some who've been suspicious

of the Obbies from the start.

The previous owners of Malham Hall died in a boating accident.

Mmm. A few conspiracy theorists still believe

that it wasn't an accident.

Retired property developer Jeremy Lambert

and his wife Carolyn died last night

when their classic river cruiser exploded

as the result of a gas leak.

The couple, who were experienced boaters,

had spent the evening at a local restaurant

where fellow diners said

they had enjoyed a quiet meal together.

The National Boat Owners' Association

have said the accident is a tragic reminder

of the importance of gas safety procedures on pleasure craft,

particularly older boats with ageing equipment.

Police have asked for anyone that was in the area

at the time of the incident to con...

What did you make of the Obbies?

We'll be lucky to find out anything at all.

Such a shame that Lucy's parents

fell out with the private detective.

He'd done all the hard work, establishing a false ID,

getting a pass for the induction week.

Afternoon.

Ooh. Very Miami Vice.

Just part of the role play.

This is funny. This is extraordinary.

The name the private detective

was going to go undercover with was Jones.

What age was he?

Same age as Ben.

A girl has gone missing from the Oblong Foundation.

How about going undercover on one of their induction courses?

No, I've got a week off, sir. I need it.

I just... I just popped in to...

I think this is what is called an amazing opportunity.

Intelligence-gathering skills, you see.

The course has not been in vain.

And it wouldn't do

your promotion prospects any harm either.

That is undue pressure, sir.

The missing girl is the daughter

of some good friends of George's.

Seriously, Ben. Have a look at that.

We're extremely worried about what might have happened to her.

Her disappearance does feel iffy.

Yeah. How does Ben feel about it all?

Oh, he can handle himself.

Having said that, playing the part

of his undercover identity will be a test.

Burnt-out media whizz kid from Crouch End.

Anyway, we've got our interview with Millie.

We'll both have to be on our best behaviour.

- I've heard that. - Oh, no problem.

Sykesy'll charm her, won't you, boy?

(growls)

Perfect imperfection.

The grit in a pure voice

which gives the song that extra lift of emotion.

The extra inch on a waistline

that proclaims a joy in sensual pleasure

and the appetite for it.

Are not these things more beautiful

than the purest beauty itself?

The planet Earth.

Our very home. But it's not a sphere.

It is...

Oblong.

Oblong.

A spinning oblong, wobbling and tilting on its axis

in its oblong orbit around the sun.

Imperfect fireball.

A ragged, life-giving globe of flame.

All imperfections,

granting so many possibilities

and bringing so much of what is unique and beautiful to life

to our lives.

And so, being here this week,

you are invited

to be a part of that cosmic imperfection.

Hmm? And to glory in it... knowingly.

(musical ringtone)

Oh. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

God, how excruciatingly embarrassing.

Right, there we are. I've done it. Sorry.

The siren call of new technology.

- Oh, tell me about it. - Yes, thank you.

So, I think that this is probably a good time

to invite you all to make your last phone call of the week

and then all mobiles will be handed in.

It is one of the few rules that we have here at Malham Hall.

Thank you.

He didn't say anything about the free love

like they did on the website.

I hope we've not been brought here under false pretences.

Oh, you've made a friend there.

Blaze Leadbetter.

- Cosmo Jones. - Ooh, Cosmo. I like.

That's so typical of me, the whole phone thing.

Persona non grata and we've not even started.

- Could have happened to anyone. - Thank you.

Well, I'd better make that call.

Oh, yes, of course. Sorry, yes.

- Excuse me. - Hey, Wolf. Here, boy.

Do you know, was there once a pontoon here?

There was, yeah.

Partially destroyed when a boat blew up two or three years ago

and they never rebuilt it.

Must have been quite an explosion.

It was a big bang.

You were here when it happened?

Are you a copper?

Thought so. I can spot one at a hundred yards.

I can spot a hash plant at twenty.

Hey, Wolf. Come on.

Wolf. Come on, boy.

I'm not interested in prescribed plants.

I am interested in what happened on the night of the explosion.

No one was that interested in what I had to say at the time.

Yes, I found a comment in the case notes.

It said you seemed to be high

during pretty much all of your waking hours.

Yeah. It doesn't mean you don't hear things.

I think that was his point. What did you hear, exactly?

I was down below. I didn't see anything.

But I heard footsteps on the pontoon.

(footsteps)

And I thought it was the Lamberts returning at first.

They didn't come down to their boat that often,

but I had seen them earlier that day.

But then I heard the footsteps going back again,

so I realised that it couldn't have been them.

- What about the explosion? - I was on deck for that.

(laughter)

Ooh.

- Enjoyable meal? - Excellent, thanks.

- Night. - Good night.

(phone rings)

Yes?

I saw Carolyn answer her phone.

- Who's this? - When she got back on board.

Oh, wait a moment, can you?

And then a few moments later just...

It was obvious they were both dead.

- (phone rings) - Excuse me.

Jones.

They're not keen on mobile phones.

I'll be hiding mine, handing in the spare,

so I'm not sure how easy it's gonna be to keep in touch.

Well, if you get anything on Lucy Oliver,

tell me as soon as you can, but don't push it.

Concentrate on fitting in for now.

You never mentioned the inductees have to sleep

in a dormitory.

Yeah. Go easy on the free love.

They're a bit scary, to be honest.

- England expects, Jones. - Got an interesting...

Yeah, bye.

I was just looking for somewhere to hide mine.

Depriving us of our mobile phones.

It's against our human rights.

That is just for emergencies, obviously.

Absolutely.

Do you think mine could share

that nice little sleeping bag with yours?

Yeah.

Friend of mine told me about the course. Changed her life.

But, then, she's always been a bit out there.

Yeah, I heard it's pretty awesome.

But they're not perfect, though.

When she was here, a couple of the foundation regulars

had a blazing row apparently.

Yeah. One of them walked out, just disappeared one night.

- Very weird. - Right.

So do you know who was involved?

It was Freddie, I think, the woman who runs it,

and the younger one, what was her name?

I think it was Lucy. Nice girl, apparently.

But just upped and left, didn't say goodbye to anyone.

- Is that right? - Apparently.

Did your friend say what the row was about?

I've no idea. She said it was still a good week, though.

But I think I'll take a bit more convincing

before I commit to the Oblong way.

- Bit of a sceptic. - Best way.

Listen... I... I've gotta make one last call.

Then I'll see you up there.

(hushed voice)

- Oh. - Beautiful here, isn't it?

Oh... I like to explore new places.

Get my bearings. Know where I am.

Well, we all need to know where we are.

It's Cosmo, isn't it?

That's right.

Wise words from a wise man, I think.

Maybe a bit wasted on an advertising copywriter.

Will you walk with us... copywriter?

Of course.

(woman) Yeah.

(woman 2) A DCI John Barnaby

asking to see you, Miss Crane.

Mr Barnaby. To what do I owe the pleasure?

- It's an informal visit. - Oh, dear.

That normally means you'll be asking me for information

I shouldn't really be giving out.

You've seen through me straightaway.

Well, I suppose the worst I can do is say no.

I'll try my luck, then.

I understand Ruth Lambert is a client of yours,

and her parents were your clients when they were alive.

You were executor of their wills.

That's correct.

There's a missing persons case

I'm looking into informally, a Lucy Oliver,

and I was hoping to get some background

about the Oblong Foundation

and their set-up at Malham Hall with Ruth.

As far as I'm concerned, everything's above board.

The foundation is renting Malham Hall

on a short-term tenancy agreement from Ruth, that's it.

Did you know the Lamberts well?

Can I ask what this has to do

with Lucy Oliver's disappearance?

I was going to ask what your feelings were

about the boating accident.

You think they're connected?

I'm just trying to get a feel for the general background.

General background. Ah, I see.

For what it's worth,

I was squarely in the "accident waiting to happen" camp.

I'd been on the Lambert's boat.

They didn't turn the gas off at the bottle.

Didn't even turn it off at the secondary valve by the cooker.

And with Carolyn smoking...

An accident waiting to happen.

That's me.

- Ah. There you are. - Thank you.

Your mobile will be here for collection

on the last afternoon of the course.

- Ruth. - If you could just sign here...

There's a registered letter for you at the post office.

I offered to sign for it,

but the postman insisted on getting your signature.

(Ruth) Why are they like this?

You should go sooner rather than later but take someone with you.

I could go with her.

The villagers cause any trouble,

I can give 'em a bit of that.

(Freddie) I think actually

it's more diplomacy we're looking for.

What about Cosmo?

Don't you think one of the family rather than an inductee?

He'll be fine.

This is the village post office?

Right. If there's any trouble, just diffuse it.

You can do that, copywriter. I feel the calm in him.

Oh, no. They're the ones who were causing the trouble.

Look who this is.

- Spot the weirdos. - Look. It's the tree huggers.

- So where's Lucy, eh? - I'm sorry about this.

Under the patio? What have you done with her?

- Don't ignore us. - Go back where you came from.

Ow! Oi!

Are you shy or something? Why can't you face us?

- Go on, answer the question! - Stop.

- We wanna know. Where's Lucy? - Look at the bozo. Freak!

That's enough.

'Ey up. He's gonna let the dog loose on us.

(Barnaby) You two again.

Throw another one of those

and I will have you on a community order

picking up litter for the next couple of years.

Could I have a word, please, sir?

Nice to see you keeping a low profile, Cosmo.

I've made contact with someone

who confirms Freddie and Lucy fell out.

Massive row. Apparently the next morning she was gone.

They asked me to come here with Ruth Lambert

in case there was any trouble.

That's her. She's picking up a registered letter.

- Call me. - Oh, my God. What's happened?

Local village idiots, I'm afraid.

More than our fair share here.

So you won't be pressing charges, then, sir?

Well, you know, if there's another incident like this,

then I'll have to re-evaluate.

Those my tomatoes?

Right, you'll be paying double for that lot.

I didn't realise you worked here as well.

Here during the day, pub evenings and weekends.

(Barnaby) That's a long week.

Yes, well, some of us weren't born

with a silver spoon in our mouths.

Right, that'll be £10, please.

(boy) Yeah? I don't think so.

Do you want me to go round and ask your dad for it?

It's up to you.

They're getting so confrontational.

Pretty good shots too.

I'm sorry.

Mr Barnaby. And who's this?

- This young fella is Sykes. - Oh, hello.

He's a bit nervous.

We've got an interview with Millie Bullard in half an hour.

Oh, we know Millie.

Many are interviewed. Few are chosen.

Well, I think Sykes might need

a bit of fortifying for his ordeal ahead.

Bo's gonna have to share her snack this morning.

- (Barnaby) Go on, then. - Short rations, Bo.

- Claire. - Yeah?

- Phone. - Oh, OK. Hang on one sec.

Well, listen... good luck.

(Barnaby) Thank you.

Paddy is obviously run off his feet.

You know, the Lamberts used to have lunch here quite a lot.

I don't think Claire was very pleased when Paddy barred them.

Course, it's still very busy here in the evenings.

Claire's reputation from her old catering business.

What did the Lamberts do to get barred?

He doesn't like the idea of serving anyone, Paddy.

So, when you've got the Lamberts,

who thought they owned the place, well,

it was always going to be a rocky road.

(barking)

(Millie) Quiet!

Sykesy, could you keep it down just a touch?

Mr Barnaby, and Sykes.

Do come in.

(Ruth) I did love my mum and dad.

But I just had to get out of that place

when I was old enough.

Such a huge house with just two or three people in it.

It seemed so wasteful.

Now, though, with the foundation, it feels so right.

But there are still a lot of memories there for me.

Those kids in the village were going on about a Lucy Oliver,

weren't they?

I heard she had a row with Freddie before she went missing.

That's not true. Lucy and Freddie were good friends.

Well, I always take second-hand comments with a pinch of salt.

Better to trust your instincts, I say.

That's what Dominic always says.

The logic of trusting your instincts.

I think Dominic has really taken to you.

I think maybe I have as well.

A little.

(barking)

He's normally very calm.

A bit excited.

What have you found out about the Oliver girl,

about her curious disappearance?

Did you know there's a footpath

that runs through the Malham Hall estate?

- I didn't. - Oh, yes.

They've always been relatively relaxed

about people walking their dogs there,

but just recently they've put up notices

asking owners to keep their dogs on a lead.

I'll leave you to draw your own conclusion.

Leave!

A bit of trouble down in the village, was it?

Ruth said you were magnificent.

Can't argue with that.

- Did you want a shower? - Oh, yes, all right.

No, no, no, it's OK. Just finishing.

Shame.

I happen to know Freddie's going to London tonight.

Staying over.

You're very interested in Freddie.

Well, it's our once-only chance to look at her room.

I want to find out a little bit more about the foundation

before I pledge my undying loyalty.

- How did it go? - I'm in here.

So, do we have a dog minder?

She is prepared to give Sykes a trial.

Oh, fab.

- A trial? - Mmm.

And she wants to meet the other pack leader as well.

That's you.

- What happened? - It was fine.

Miss Bullard says the only way she can really get a handle

on Sykes's personality is if she meets us both.

It went well.

There was no inappropriate behaviour? No leg mounting?

- None. - And Sykes behaved himself?

(laughs)

I suppose it'll all be worth it.

Dominic will address you.

From the time of the Anglo-Saxon roundhouses,

communal sleeping was the norm.

People slept not just with their family

but with their tribe.

And this is the Oblong way for our inductees.

But if people do need their own space,

for coitus,

then love rooms are available in the adjoining corridor.

And can I ask that all inductees

observe the protocol of the "do not disturb" signs?

So, good night, one and all.

You're in there, mate.

(snoring)

Don't look so worried. It's not a proposition.

We just go out, pretend we're going to the love room

and then, when the coast is clear, nip over to Freddie's.

OK.

Take my hand.

We've got to look the part.

Here.

Come on.

Hello there.

Room for a little one?

We're strictly do not disturb.

Oh. It's not really in the spirit of things.

Sorry, mate.

(moaning and panting)

(moaning continues)

(thudding)

It's making me feel a bit funny.

I think the coast must be clear by now.

- Which way? - This way.

Door.

Look through the drawers.

(phone rings)

What if someone comes and answers it?

(door opens)

(Dominic) It just be important.

I'll be right back, butterfly.

What's happening?

Yes, go on.

What did they say?

Right.

OK, I understand that.

They can't prove that there's been a murder

if they can't produce a body.

Oh, fine. Now, listen, Freddie, I really don't think

that you should be leaving your door unlocked.

Mmm.

OK, talk soon, then.

Bye.

- It's locked. - No!

(phone buzzes)

- Hello. - Hi... matey.

I'm in a bit of a sticky situation here.

- Matey? - Yeah.

I've got someone with me

and we're in a bit of a pickle.

Doesn't sound promising.

Yeah, anyway, we're two storeys up

and I don't know how we're gonna get out.

OK. Um...

This is what we're gonna do.

(phone rings)

I'm so sorry.

- Hello? - (speaks Russian)

- Hello? - (speaks Russian)

Hello? Hello?

About time. Talk about hogging love room number three.

(Millie) I'm quite sure he'll fit in.

And you can pick him up any time up until eight o'clock.

- About seven? - Perfect.

Time to introduce Sykes to his new chums.

Say goodbye, Sykes.

Right, you be good.

There's no alternative at this establishment.

- Seven o'clock, then. - OK.

A magical tree.

The willow.

Now, one branch, separated from the mother tree,

will regenerate itself if it's planted in soil

close to life-giving water.

You, you are all branches

of your own family trees.

And we are all of us a part of the tree of life.

In the moment, attached to the past and, through us,

the sap of future growth.

If our spirits are not free,

we are but wood on the bough.

Be your own tree.

(all) Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Be your own tree.

Will you just look at them?

Huh. Not even going to work at this time of year.

- Symbolic, apparently. - Yeah.

Now, thrust it home firmly...

...so that it may thrive and put down roots

and its body may grow and its limbs reach towards the heavens.

Let the Oblong Foundation be your fertile ground.

Let us provide the nutrients for your growth

and the full realisation of your potential.

Wow. I can really feel your spiritual energy.

It's so strong. Can you feel anything from me?

- Uh... - I think that's a yes.

You two, you have a natural bond, I think.

The process has begun.

Ruth Lambert has asked me to cooperate fully with you

regarding giving you details

of her parents' financial situation.

When it comes to the Oblong Foundation,

she says there really is nothing to explain.

Fair enough.

As executor of the Lamberts' will,

I discovered that there'd been a number of cash withdrawals

over the years from their accounts

amounting to hundreds of thousands of pounds.

As the family lawyer, I mentioned the possibility

of accusations of inheritance tax avoidance to Ruth.

You thought they were evading tax?

No, it was something that happened,

oh, about 18 months before the accident

that I mentioned to Ruth and she thought I should mention to you.

Mention away.

Jeremy Lambert was thinking about lending some money

and he wanted to know the legally binding nature

of an IOU.

I told him a promissory note

would provide the best protection.

I even offered to draft one for him,

but he said they were just thinking about it at this stage.

One or two months later he said he'd changed his mind.

This wasn't mentioned in the case reports.

Well, it wasn't relevant.

The explosion was an accident

and our position was that

whenever there was a significant withdrawal of cash,

the money had gone on gambling.

That's a lot of flutters.

Indeed.

I told Carolyn they'd missed last orders for food one evening

and they were upset.

Told us what very special customers they were

and how they deserved special service.

I told them, if you don't like the service,

you'd better go elsewhere, cos I don't want you around here.

And the pub's all the better for it.

Fortunately I'm financially secure enough

not to have to worry about the custom

from people like the Lamberts.

Paddy, is there any chance that you can change the gas bottle?

Oh, hello.

Claire's doing a big barbecue at the weekend.

Likes to be prepared, don't you, my love?

- Well, I don't wanna run out. - You wanna mind what you say.

Mr Barnaby's reinvestigating the deaths of the Lamberts.

Anyone handy with that kind of thing

will end up on his list of suspects.

I'm not so sure about that.

There's a major difference between barbecues,

which are out in the open, and boats,

enclosed, airtight spaces,

in which leaking gas collects like water in a pond.

No, I think the chief inspector's

more likely to be interested in those

with a knowledge of leisure craft rather than barbecues,

like you and me.

The difference being I didn't have anything

against the Lamberts, unlike some people.

Well, the two of us hate boats.

Avoid them at all costs, don't we, love?

Yeah, we're not their biggest fans.

Do any of you know of anyone locally

who might have borrowed money from the Lamberts?

Borrowed money? I think that's a bit unlikely.

The Lamberts were good at spending on themselves

but quite tight when it came to other people.

They owned half the village,

but I don't remember them

ever buying a round.

Not bad tippers, though.

(Paddy) Feudal throwbacks.

(phone rings)

Excuse me.

Jones, how's it going?

When I was trapped in Freddie's room,

I heard Dominic on the phone saying something like,

"They can't prove she's been murdered

if they don't find a body."

Did you get the impression there was a body?

Difficult to say.

Listen, things are getting a bit complicated down here.

What's happened?

This Ruth girl is getting very trusting

and I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable with it.

Not going native on me, are you, Jones?

She's vulnerable, sir.

She's been telling me about her parents' death

and how difficult she found coping with it.

Apparently she's put all of their stuff in an outbuilding

until she can face sorting it out.

- Have you seen it? - No, it's all locked away.

(Tannoy) Our social network session

is due to start in five minutes.

- Battery's going. - Is Freddie back?

I haven't seen her yet. Listen, I've gotta go.

Who were you calling?

Don't you trust me, Cosmo?

(Tannoy) This is your last call for the social network session

starting in five minutes.

So 8:30 on the 5th. Table for ten.

Wonderful. See you then. Bye.

Oh. Forgot to take a deposit.

Well, I'm sure they'll turn up.

We're not booked up anyway, so it doesn't matter.

You all right?

Oh, yes, I'm fine. Absolutely fine.

You don't think mentioning about boats

and how we didn't like them,

you don't think that sounded a little defensive?

Paddy, it was an accident.

Well, that DCI doesn't seem to think so.

And everyone knows I didn't get on with the Lamberts.

You and several dozen other people. So what?

You're right.

(Tannoy) Embrace your fellow students

and gain strength from their imperfection.

Keep an eye on him.

But each spirit will be free

so we must move on to a new cluster.

We will honour and respect the real you...

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby, Causton CID.

I need to speak to Ruth Lambert.

Actually, Freddie deals with all our enquiries

and she's not here at the moment.

Isn't it up to Ruth?

I thought personal responsibility

was what the Oblong Foundation was all about.

(Tannoy) Gain strength and move on.

If you don't want to speak to the police officer

without Freddie present, that's your prerogative.

I would like someone present.

- Would you mind? - No problem.

Our spirit is refreshed as we embrace our imperfection.

Has my solicitor been helpful?

She told me you were looking into the deaths

of my parents again.

She has, and we appreciate your cooperation.

I was never really sure about the coroner's verdict.

I could never have got through it without the foundation.

Dominic and Freddie have been fantastic.

Well, there's a lot to sort out.

Practical stuff as much as anything.

I couldn't do any of that.

I just put Mum and Dad's stuff in one of old outbuildings.

Is that right?

Do you think I could have a look... at your parents' things?

Are their personal papers here?

Some. All the financial stuff went to the solicitor.

She was trying to cut down.

There were still certain things

she couldn't do without a cigarette.

Having a drink and socialising were the toughest.

And talking on the telephone.

She couldn't have a phone conversation

without lighting up.

Couldn't do it.

Do you...

Do you have your mother's old mobile phone number?

I'll just be a couple of minutes.

- Mother's mobile phone number? - (Barnaby) Call me.

I can't. My battery's gone dead.

Meet on footpath by the river tomorrow morning at seven.

Yes, sir.

I just need a phone number from Ruth

and then I'm done.

Thank you for your cooperation.

I'm really beginning to get the vibe now.

That last session was bang on.

Respect the real you,

respect the real other.

Hang on. Totty alert, three o'clock.

- Oh, hi. - Hi.

I was thinking, I'm not quite ready for the day to end,

and I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time with me.

Nice outfit.

So why all the interest in the parents' stuff?

Do you think they were murdered?

Not sure.

But I can see a way it could have been done now.

If whoever it was knew about Carolyn's smoking habits...

Oh. Sykes, here! Sykesy! Day two with his minder.

I don't want him looking like a mud rat. Sykes!

Her smoking habits?

Whoever it was would have gone onto the Lamberts' boat,

loosened the gas tube to the cooker

and made sure that the gas

was turned on at the bottle, then waited.

All they had to do was phone Carolyn's mobile

as she got on board

knowing she wouldn't be able

to talk without lighting up.

Boom.

It would explain

why they never found any kind of remote detonator.

The near perfect crime.

But the person with the biggest motive

would be your new girlfriend.

(groans) She propositioned me last night.

Oh.

I didn't do anything, but it's doing my head in.

Well, she is unlikely to be the murderer,

since she put us onto her mum's

compulsive lighting up on the phone habit.

But perhaps Lucy discovered something

about the death of the Lamberts and that's why she disappeared.

I don't actually think

there's anything more to find out about Lucy, sir.

What I overheard Dominic saying on the phone

doesn't mean they killed her.

They're worried other people will blame them.

It doesn't mean there's a body.

Oh, my God.

I think perhaps you should stay,

at least until I've had this identified.

Hi.

How are you doing?

A bit hurt, to be honest. A bit wounded in the pride department.

But I had really good dreams last night, though.

- Did you have good dreams? - Yeah.

You know, the fact that you asked us to wait last night,

well, it just makes me all the more sure about you.

I won't take no for an answer tonight, though.

(whispers) I think you've pulled.

Hi, Blaze. Are you in a good place today?

Oh, yeah. Uber, uber good.

It's basically a forum, an opportunity for people

to feed back their experience of the week.

Ah, just in time for roll call.

You'll have to take it yourself.

Why? What's happened?

- I'll join you in a minute. - Freddie.

We'll be unmasking an imposter.

Of course, we all like to make the most of ourselves.

The well-cut suit that flatters the figure of a gentleman.

And ladies who enjoy the benefits

that a good lift-and-separate bra has to offer.

But for me I finally decided

I'm more Bruce Willis

than Arthur Scargill.

I'm finally being my own me.

Being my own tree.

(all) Be your own tree. Be your own tree.

Be your own tree. Be your own tree.

Now, not everyone here

is being as honest about who they are.

We have an imposter in our midst.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, Freddie has been in London trying to persuade

a certain tabloid newspaper not to put out...

a very negative story about us.

And she has discovered that one of you

is not who you say you are.

But before Freddie returns

to reveal which one of you is the tabloid journalist,

you have a brief opportunity

to be honest with us.

What?

Blaze.

Are you researching this story for a national newspaper?

I've been trying to discover the truth

about what happened to Lucy Oliver.

Do you have a problem with that?

- Traitor! - Yeah?

Yeah, well, I'm not the only imposter here.

Because there's a private detective in our midst

investigating her disappearance as well.

Yeah. And he is right here.

- Because the Olivers told me. - Traitor!

Just wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait!

Lucy?

Freddie's dead.

It's OK, it's OK.

- Traitor! - Shame on you!

Please, stay where you are. Back off.

I'm a police officer. Please.

Lucy, it's OK. Come on. Come with me. It's OK. It's OK.

Dominic.

Is she dead?

She is.

I was staying at a friend's place in London

getting my head together.

Freddie kept sending me these emails.

- I didn't reply to any. - What were the emails about?

She wanted me to get in touch with my mum and dad.

Talking about some tabloid story that was gonna be published

about the Oblong Foundation, suggesting I was dead

and how the foundation had something to do with it.

So why didn't you get in touch with your parents, Lucy?

- I don't know. It's just... - (car pulls up)

Lucy, you had a row with Freddie the night before you left.

Is that right?

What was it that caused the row?

You know that Freddie and I were having a physical relationship?

Go on.

One evening I let myself into Freddie's room

to surprise her

and I found her counting money on the bed...

...loads of it,

with the safe open behind her.

What's this?

You should have knocked.

I thought you said it was a non-profit-making organisation.

I thought that any profits you did make went to charity.

They do. Some of them.

Obviously we have to consider our own financial security.

This is a bit more than financial security.

That's thousands and thousands of pounds.

Don't be naive, Lucy, darling.

I couldn't believe it.

You mentioned a safe.

It was right there.

Sir.

I don't suppose you have any idea

who might know the combination?

Sorry.

OK. I think your parents would like to see you.

I'll take her down.

Good to see you, Lucy.

Thanks. And you.

(officer) Mind the tape, miss.

Possible financial motive, do you think?

Any surprises?

Time of death minutes before the body was discovered.

Quarter of an hour max.

Which would give everyone in the barn an alibi.

- What about Lucy? - She had nothing to do with it.

I'm 99% certain.

Do you still want me to analyse the bones you found?

Did you happen to notice whether they were human at all?

Spare rib of pork. Picnic barbecue, I should think.

Oh!

Don't you dare try and tell me you were just doing your job.

Ben, can you leave this to me, please?

You had an undercover police officer here. What was he doing?

I think you know we were concerned

about Lucy's disappearance.

And you were so right about that, weren't you?

I need to ask if either of you know the combination

to the safe in Freddie's bedroom.

The safe? It was a robbery?

We don't know. Opening the safe could tell us.

Well, I have no idea. Freddie dealt with all that.

I didn't even know the safe existed until Freddie found it.

Well, Freddie definitely knew the combination

because Lucy saw her with the safe open.

I know she worked it out. She showed me what was inside.

Would you mind if I spoke to Ruth privately?

What was in the safe?

Quite a lot of money and gold sovereigns and documents.

What documents?

I asked Freddie to deal with them.

I couldn't face it and Freddie was good at financial stuff.

It would have been useful if you'd mentioned the safe

when we spoke about your parents before.

None of the contents were included in the estate, so I...

I thought it best not to.

Did Freddie tell you how she managed to open it?

I gave her all our birth dates.

She thought they'd be worth trying

because they'd used mine for the burglar alarm.

But she didn't crack it straightaway.

She asked me about other numbers they might have used.

It took her a couple of days.

Could you do something for me?

Could you write down the birth dates

of yourself and your parents

and any other numbers you might have given to Freddie?

Any car registration numbers, phone numbers.

It was a while ago.

This may well help us identify Freddie's murderer.

And if your parents were murdered as well,

which I think they were, it'll be their murderer too.

One last thing. I understand you received a registered letter.

- Who was it from? - It was from Mr Oliver.

He was asking if I knew anything about Lucy, where she was.

I didn't.

(knocking)

Sorry to interrupt, sir.

You were really good, you know that?

You totally took me in.

I don't think Detective Sergeant Jones took advantage of you

as much as he might have done.

I know that because he told me

how uncomfortable he was with the situation.

- Can I go now, please? - You can go.

Mr Oliver would like to take Lucy home now.

She needs a change of clothing.

Just keep us informed if she wants to go anywhere.

Uh... thank you.

- What did Ruth say, sir? - She confirms Lucy's story.

The safe was full of money and gold coins.

All part of the inheritance tax avoidance.

But I also think it's possible

that the identity of our murderer is in there as well.

How's that, sir?

I think the Lamberts lent money to somebody,

and avoiding paying them back

could have been the motive for their murders.

If the IOU was in the safe and Freddie found it,

it could be why she was murdered too.

The question is whether it has now been removed.

Do we know what the loan was for?

No, just that it was kept very secret... for some reason.

Lucy.

Trust the real you.

Oh!

We could try them all backwards.

What I don't understand is why didn't Ruth know anything

about the safe and the combination?

You think she's lying?

No, I don't, but...

Could there have been a clue in the will, perhaps?

I wonder if Ruth would have a copy.

- We could ask her. - All right, give it a try.

Me?

If you're worried, I could have a go.

No, no, no. It's... It's fine.

I'm sure it's here somewhere.

I'm sorry about Freddie.

We had no idea it was going to happen.

It's sad that we met the way we did.

For a while there I thought it might have been the real thing.

Ah.

I suppose once I give you this,

you'll have got all you need from me

and we'll be able to go our separate ways.

Ruth, Ruth. I'm sorry we met the way we did as well.

Broken. Can't be mended.

Shame, but there we are.

Sir. Sir, I think we've got something.

Freddie asked to see the will as well.

- It looks like there is a clue. - Tell me.

My parents weren't at all religious,

but they included a line in the will

which I thought was odd when I first read it.

"Although we leave our daughter wealthy in material terms,

we want to remind her that she'll be safe

with the gift she received when she first entered the church."

Baptism. Do you remember the date?

And that was a question Freddie asked her.

My parents always made a point of telling me

that I was baptised one month to the day after I was born.

The fifth...

of the sixth...

...'81.

Apparently Lucy's not a suspect

despite being covered in the poor woman's blood.

Putting her parents through hell like that.

Two months, was it?

I think it's to do with them not being able

to come to terms with her sexuality, punishing them.

Or because they were right about the Obbies.

A parent can do almost nothing worse

than be right in circumstances like that, huh?

Mmm.

A template for some kind of confidentiality agreement

and a tenancy agreement for Malham Hall,

but no promissory note.

If someone managed to get into the safe,

would they just take the promissory note,

not the cash and the gold sovereigns?

It does seem unlikely.

In which case, if there's no promissory note here,

there's no evidence there ever was one,

so we are back to square one.

legalcontractsforyou.com.

Standard form.

Downloaded, just as you might download

a standard template for a promissory note

if you didn't want to involve your solicitor.

Did your parents have a computer?

So you think someone murdered my parents

to get out of paying a loan back?

I'm wondering whether Freddie found the paperwork in the safe.

Perhaps she didn't mention it to you

because she decided she could use it in some way herself.

Freddie would have told me if she'd found evidence

that somebody had murdered my parents.

At the time, 18 months ago,

everyone thought your parents' death had been an accident,

but that all changed when it became public knowledge

that I was re-examining the case.

Then the person with the forgotten debt

would no longer just look lucky.

They'd suddenly have a big motive for killing your parents.

And Freddie would have been the only one who knew about it.

OK, try searching for promissory or IOU.

Two files.

Try the more recent.

Would an unsigned computer document be valid in court, sir?

The witness's name is there for a reason. Try his number.

If he confirms the veracity of the document,

it'll be admissible.

Thank you, Ruth. We'll... be in touch.

Detective Sergeant Jones, Causton CID.

I'd like to speak to a Mr Max Fuller, please.

I see. Can you tell me what the circumstances were?

The date. Get the date.

Do you know what date it was when this happened?

OK, thank you. I'll call you back.

He was stabbed to death at his flat.

Sounds like an aggravated burglary.

It was the night of the boating accident.

And the killer was never apprehended.

- No. - I think it's time they were.

(buzzes)

I don't see what Claire's old invoices

have got to do with anything.

A catering job that Claire did for the Lamberts

three and a bit years ago on their boat.

She could have learned everything she needed to know

about the gas system to make an explosion.

Don't be ridiculous. Claire?

(Barnaby) She was probably told where they kept the keys

so that she could get onboard to start cooking

some time before they arrived,

which is how, 18 months later,

she got into the boat so easily to access the gas system.

You weren't entirely truthful

when you told me you were financially secure.

You had no money to speak of when you met Claire, did you?

It was she who produced the money for the pub

and it was borrowed from the Lamberts.

And when you barred the Lamberts from the pub,

they wanted their money back.

No, no, no. You're totally wrong.

That was her savings. No, you're totally wrong. She'll tell you.

She's probably out in the garden now. I'll go get her.

Claire?

Claire!

She would have told me. Why wouldn't she tell me?

Sir.

Claire?

(gas hisses)

Stay where you are.

- What are you doing? - Paddy, I really mean it.

Paddy, stay still.

There's enough gas in here to cause quite a bang.

So... you killed the Lamberts?

And Freddie. And a man called Max Fuller.

You know about Max? I'm impressed.

His name was on the promissory note.

How many copies of that thing were there?

It was on the Lamberts' laptop.

Max Fuller was the witness to the contract

and, once the Lamberts were dead,

the last person left who knew about the loan.

One thing I don't understand is

why the Lamberts were so willing to bankroll the pub.

After the mess the last lot of tenants made of it,

it looked like it was gonna close.

(Barnaby) They auditioned you on the boat.

(Claire) They had a couple of friends down from London.

The Lamberts had already tasted my cooking at a local event...

Smelling good down there.

...and decided they wanted me to take over the pub.

They lent me the 85 grand on the condition that no one,

not even my own husband, was to know about it.

Because the money came from the secret hoard

they were stashing away to avoid inheritance tax.

It was all going so fine...

...until you barred them.

And then they demanded their money back.

Couldn't you have borrowed the money from somewhere else

to pay the Lamberts back?

I did.

I found a bank to lend me the whole amount.

I was gonna meet them on the boat,

exchange a bankers draft for the promissory note,

when the bank changed their mind.

Don't move!

Please don't move.

I phoned the Lamberts...

...and I asked them for more time.

But they refused and they said they'd be taking me to court.

So you killed them.

Well, I hadn't intended to initially.

I went onto the boat that evening when they were out

to see if they'd left the promissory note on board.

It was only after I found it that I thought about

disconnecting the gas pipe.

- Night. - Good night.

(gas hisses)

(phone rings)

- Yes? - About our agreement.

- I wondered if you might... - Oh, wait a mo, can you?

I'll wait, Carolyn.

(Jerry) What's that smell?

And that meant the witness, Max Fuller, had to die.

They used a London business acquaintance of Jerry's

because they didn't want any risk

of whoever it was mentioning it to locals.

But his address was on the document.

I had to do it straightaway

before he heard about the accident

and could mention the loan to anyone.

- Yes? - I'm sorry to bother you.

I don't know if you remember me.

My name's Claire Powell. I'm a friend of the Lamberts.

Yes, of course. This is a surprise.

Well, my car has been stolen.

- How awful. - I'm so sorry to bother you.

Not at all. Come on up. It's the third floor.

(door buzzer)

You could probably do with a drink.

(opera music)

Who are you?

I don't understand.

I know.

You always wanted to be in charge, in control.

But you never really were, were you, bubs?

You never really did anything except talk.

You always talked well. I like that.

But I had to fix things

so we could go on pretending.

And Freddie?

Um, she said that she wouldn't mention the loan to anyone

if I helped her out.

But I had to get her copy of the IOU

and make sure there weren't any more.

I told her I had the identity of an imposter

and that I wanted the copy of the IOU

in exchange for the name.

She thought it was a journalist,

but the name I was actually gonna give her

was Sergeant Jones.

I recognised him outside the post office with Ruth.

The only copy.

May I?

(sighs)

Thank you.

So, the imposter's name...

I knew everyone would be at roll call,

but in the event I was just seconds away from being seen.

Lucy was coming up the front stairs as I went down the back.

I ran home through the woods.

Paddy hadn't even woken up.

It was perfect.

So, what now, Claire?

Well, I'd really like to let you out, but...

but if I open the doors again...

...there's not gonna be enough gas for this to work.

At least let Paddy out.

No. No.

What would I do?

Where would I go?

No, no, no. I'll...

I'll stick with Claire.

Go out with a bang.

Actually, I don't think there's enough gas in the room

to cause an explosion.

I don't think you changed the gas bottle, Paddy, did you?

No, that's where you're wrong.

He did because he told me he did.

Please.

So, thank God Paddy was a lazy, good-for-nothing husband.

Everybody has their place in this world.

Come on.

Ah. Mr Barnaby, Mrs Barnaby.

Afternoon. Getting my sister up to speed on what happened today.

George is very good at keeping me up to date

with all the confidential stuff.

Yes, thank you, Millie.

I hear you and your sergeant had a pretty close call.

I blame it all on George.

None of this would have come to light without his intervention.

I hope Sykes didn't disgrace himself.

He did make some amorous advances

towards two of my bitches,

which wasn't the best of starts.

But I think from Sykes's point of view, it was top banana.

- Consider him part of the pack. - Fantastic news. Thank you.

We're going for a walk. Come on, Tor. Come on, Fidget. George.

- Good job, by the way. - Thanks.

And I don't think I thanked you for putting in a word.

Oh, call it a gift.

Sounds good.

Tom is a hard act to follow.

You're getting there.

Come on, George!