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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:06,998 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,600 And right in front of her son. 3 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:12,438 I heard that there was blood all over her new drapes. 4 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:13,840 What a shame. 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,360 Those drapes must have cost her a fortune. 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:19,998 Pâté? 7 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,998 How do you get blood out of drapes? 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:24,920 I think it's hairspray. No, wait, I think that's ink. 9 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:28,200 Don't knock me out again, Veronica. 10 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:36,958 Oh, this one is so sad. 11 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:40,918 "I'll never forget how kind Heather was", from... 12 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,198 Briana Parker. 13 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,358 Trailer Parker. 14 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,838 Heather made fun of her every day for being totally Hamburger Helpless. 15 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,200 Wait. 16 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,238 "My thoughts and prayers are with Heather Chandler's family", 17 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,118 from Ram? 18 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:00,398 "Sending messages of love". Jesus Julie. God. 19 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,758 This is what we get for trying to save Westerburg? 20 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:07,198 We should have known. People are so predictable. 21 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:11,318 It's like, celebrity of the week dies. Let me post about 22 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,838 how truly devastated I am about the tragic loss of Robin Williams. 23 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,318 Flubber was a very formative film for me. 24 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,198 Up next on the American carousel of tragedy, 25 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,038 another poor black kid gets shot. 26 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,558 Let me insert myself into this incredibly complex racial issue. 27 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,798 Not because I actually give a shit, 28 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,158 but just so I can help define who I am. 29 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:35,718 And now, Westerburg's very own Heather Chandler dies. 30 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,118 God, I hope I can find a pic of us together 31 00:02:38,120 --> 00:02:41,080 so I can rack up on some sympathy likes. 32 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,438 People will find any way 33 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,878 to make someone else's tragedy just another plot twist 34 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,640 in their very own grief opera. 35 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,560 Well, maybe we're just being too harsh. 36 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,838 Maybe some of them actually cared about Heather. 37 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:02,438 Regardless, Heather got what she deserved. 38 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:06,320 JD, you might not have seen it, but Heather was my friend. 39 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:09,238 You hated her. 40 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,518 I hate all my friends. That doesn't mean I want them dead. 41 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,838 -So why did you do it, then? -I didn't do anything, JD. 42 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,720 And you know it. 43 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,320 You're right, I'm sorry. 44 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,400 We did something. 45 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,798 We killed Heather, Veronica. 46 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,280 Together. 47 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,280 Oh, my God! Heather. 48 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,198 I just... 49 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,598 I just-- I just saw her! 50 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,678 Heather's dead. 51 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,318 No. I just... 52 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:04,840 I saw her. 53 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,678 Babe, I think you're just a little stressed out. 54 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,720 We both saw Heather die with our own eyes. 55 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,038 Maybe you should go home and get some rest. 56 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,718 Yeah? 57 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,800 No. I'm fine, I'm just... 58 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,598 Just stressed out. 59 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,800 Veronica. Hey. 60 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,158 I care about you. 61 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,320 Go home and get a good night's sleep. 62 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,798 Okay. I mean... 63 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,200 You're right. 64 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,280 Shit. 65 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,080 Veronica. 66 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:33,800 Hello, Veronica. 67 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,918 JD. 68 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:51,198 Heather's alive! 69 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,718 It's true. 70 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,318 Last night I attempted suicide. 71 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,038 I know, it's cliché, but... 72 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,558 we all end up in a dark place sometimes, and... 73 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:05,078 I just needed to be with my best friend. 74 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,400 Veronica. 75 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,638 No, JD. Isn't that great? 76 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,478 Heather's alive. It's like... 77 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,360 It's like nothing ever happened. 78 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,920 Do you want to know really what happened? 79 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,680 I found these old pills. 80 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,560 Poison pills, like from a fairytale or something. 81 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:30,358 I can't for the life of me remember who gave them to me, but... 82 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:35,158 there they were in my hour of suicidal desperation. 83 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,518 So, I dropped one into a bag of Corn Nuts, and then... 84 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:39,920 Smash. 85 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,758 Landed face-first in my beautiful, 86 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,680 all glass coffee table. 87 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:50,920 But then a miracle happened. 88 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,160 The poison pill didn't break. 89 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:59,758 When I finally came to, I threw up and there it was, 90 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,238 completely intact. 91 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,318 And then when I read all the media reports, 92 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,438 literally millions of people all over the world 93 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,040 moved by my journey... 94 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,518 I realized that this happened to me for a reason. 95 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,798 So that I, Heather Chandler, 96 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,000 could be the new face of suicide. 97 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,158 And you two are going to help me with that. 98 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:28,120 Whenever I want. 99 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,238 I miss Heather. 100 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,438 The last thing she told me was that I couldn't pull off leggings. 101 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,760 She was right. 102 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,118 Oh, God. I just thought of something. 103 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,278 Oh, Heather, I doubt it. 104 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:50,200 Anyways, what were Heather Chandler's last words to you, Veronica? 105 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,438 -Veronica. -Hey, Betty. 106 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,718 -See, he is in the girls' bathroom. -It's Heather. 107 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,238 Does it say Heather on your birth certificate? 108 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:05,318 Does it say "aborted queef weasel" on yours? 109 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,318 Guys, come on, it's just Heather. 110 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,798 Maybe I can help. 111 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,038 Heather, I'm sure you understand 112 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,638 what it's like out there for women in this day and age. 113 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,918 We need safe spaces, and... 114 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,198 the girls just don't feel safe with men around. 115 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,318 I don't feel safe with these twisty fingered clit witches around. 116 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:27,040 -Come on, Heather. -Actually, I think I'm going to stay. 117 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,480 Heather, let's step into your office. 118 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:36,358 Are you really choosing these discount hobgoblins over me? 119 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,318 Maybe they'll actually treat me with respect. 120 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:41,918 I gave you three of my old Swatches. 121 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,398 Sorry, Heath... er. 122 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,238 The winds of friendship have changed. 123 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,560 Nothing personal. 124 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:55,920 Have fun with your new friends, Heather. 125 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,080 What a trash porch. 126 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:01,598 Come on, Veronica, let's get lunch? 127 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,240 I just... I told JD I'd meet up with him. 128 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,880 You too, Veronica. 129 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,638 Feed the Washington Indians. 130 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,638 This are their sacred mounds. 131 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:17,918 Take a tomahawk to their babies, 132 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,638 and burn their teepees to the ground. 133 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:21,318 So, you kill one weed, 134 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,360 and an even bigger weed pops back up in its place. 135 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,758 So, we were actually better off with Heather in charge, JD. 136 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,758 Heather's a monster, Veronica. 137 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:36,718 Yeah, but at least she is a monster about the right things. 138 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,240 We're better off without any monsters at all. 139 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:44,478 Hey, Betty. 140 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,958 Heather. 141 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,598 Can I sit with you guys? 142 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,198 You heard I'm not a lesbian anymore, right? 143 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,038 Heather, I would never care about something like that. 144 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,920 I accept everyone at Westerburg. 145 00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,358 Except if they sleep with teachers. 146 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,558 Actually, Heather, now that I think about it, 147 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:04,278 you're underage and slept with a teacher, 148 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:08,000 which means you basically enabled a pedophile. 149 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,480 Yeah, you come sit here. 150 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,078 I'm sorry, Heather. 151 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:17,760 The slut table is over there. 152 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,240 Can you believe that she thought she could sit here? 153 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,398 Sorry, Heather. 154 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:39,240 There's already a dirty old bag in that seat. 155 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,240 You made your choice. 156 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,320 Maybe Trailer Parker will let you sit by her. 157 00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,798 Heather McNamara and Mr. Waters to the office. 158 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:16,640 Heather McNamara and Mr. Waters to the office, please. 159 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,918 So, this Heather McNamara here is a student? 160 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,638 Yes, 17-year-old student. 161 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,718 -Well, she looks like a grown woman. -Thank you. 162 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,998 Heather, please. Let me handle this, okay? 163 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,798 She's not a grown woman, she is a child. 164 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,758 A child who's obviously been taken advantage of by David. 165 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,718 This girl slept with David? 166 00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:45,238 Why? 167 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:47,318 I don't know if it's that unbelievable. 168 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,878 -So, you admit it. -I'm not saying anything happened. 169 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,358 -Rude! -Heather. 170 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:52,918 But if something did happen, 171 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,038 Heather would have been the one taking advantage of me. 172 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,878 Actually, I could explain everything. 173 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,158 Heather, we can't get to the bottom of what happened 174 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,358 if you keep trying to speak. 175 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,400 Now. You know... 176 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:09,398 -Oh, my God. -Here we go. 177 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:11,718 Isn't this just how the patriarchy works? 178 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,038 As someone who's been on the receiving end 179 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:15,918 of the lecherous male gaze, 180 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,878 -many times in my life... -Oh, honey. 181 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,198 I have to say it is really rich to hear you blame the victim, David. 182 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,238 It's called victim-shaming and it is textbook misogyny. 183 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:27,518 Actually, you're the misogynist, Pauline. 184 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,878 How am I the misogynist? I would love to hear this one. 185 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:32,278 To claim that Heather isn't capable of fabricating 186 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:36,238 that she had a relationship with a man just because she's a girl? 187 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,238 That sounds anti-woman to me. 188 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,838 -It does sound anti-woman, Pauline. -You're an anti-woman. 189 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,558 Principal Gowan, he can obfuscate with his lies all he wants, 190 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:49,318 but the proof is right there in that giant, blown-up photograph. 191 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,918 -That could be anyone. -For crying out loud. 192 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,918 Photoshop. Anyone can use Photoshop these days. 193 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,838 I don't think I would know how to use Photoshop. 194 00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:59,598 David's right. The kids these days are eating those drugs 195 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,758 and running that Photoshop high as a kite. 196 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,518 Why are you even here, Maurice? 197 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,838 Well, Pauline, if you must know, I'm just here for the drama. 198 00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:09,158 And to be honest, you straight people have once again 199 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,838 disappointed me in that arena. 200 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,998 So now it's okay to openly mock straight people. 201 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,638 Honestly, how about be more interesting. 202 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:17,278 We have to stay focused on the topic. 203 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:18,840 Who are you right now? I know who I am. 204 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,318 All right, quiet. 205 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,160 Oh, my God, rich. 206 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,238 David is right. 207 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:30,398 With all the Photoshops and drug eating going on, 208 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,000 this could be of anyone. 209 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,520 Thank you, Principal Gowan. 210 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,078 Watch your step, Waters. 211 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,160 One more girl comes forward and you're out. 212 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,760 "Dear Diary... 213 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:59,958 If I'm a good person who just did a bad thing, 214 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,640 but turns out I failed at that bad thing, 215 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,040 then I'm still a good person, right? 216 00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,718 God, Veronica. Can you please get off the spectrum for once 217 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,240 and help me pass these out? 218 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,598 What are those, Heather? 219 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,318 I'm throwing a Heather Chandler mourning party tonight at my house. 220 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,158 Maybe we could just give all this mourning a rest for a second? 221 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,198 It's all becoming so Mary Todd Lincoln. 222 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:24,158 Veronica... 223 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,720 our best friend is dead. 224 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,598 I think she'd want us to make sure that everyone at Westerburg 225 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,998 is appropriately devastated. 226 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,798 And if her mourning party has the additional benefit 227 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,998 of putting me back on top, then so be it. 228 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,560 Come on. 229 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,638 Mourning party at my house tonight. 230 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,678 Make sure you've done all you can do to mourn Heather. 231 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,438 She's watching. 232 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,078 Heather C. mourning party. 233 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,038 Nerds, this is your one chance to finally attend a party 234 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,400 your mom doesn't cater. 235 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:53,798 Are you going? 236 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,478 You kidding me, with these thunder thighs? 237 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,718 I swear, if I don't get a thigh gap before prom 238 00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,918 I'm going to kill myself. 239 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:01,758 Everyone's talking about Heather Duke's mourning party. 240 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:03,238 I can't believe we got invited. 241 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,840 Heather Chandler killing herself is the best thing that's ever happened to us. 242 00:16:09,680 --> 00:16:11,920 Be the bigger person. Invite Heather, Heather. 243 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,840 Fine. 244 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,758 You can come, Heather. 245 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,800 But you can't eat anything and bring a trash bag to sit on. 246 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,998 Look at them. 247 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,438 My loyal subjects. 248 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,838 Can you believe Betty Finn thought Westerburg would choose 249 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,438 Michelle Williams from Destiny's Child 250 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,478 over Michelle Williams from Heath Ledger's death? 251 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:38,118 No. 252 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,238 Westerburg wants glamour. 253 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,718 Westerburg wants aspiration. 254 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:44,720 Westerburg wants majesty. 255 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:47,798 Westerburg wants me. 256 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,840 And tonight, I'm going to let them eat cake. 257 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,520 Isn't it just? 258 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,560 That deep-fried lobster baby. 259 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,038 -You did this to me. -Mr. Waters, I'm sorry. 260 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,638 You got me fired, Heather. 261 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,760 But the principal said you couldn't get fired unless there were other girls. 262 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,718 Oh, my God. 263 00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,478 You cheated on me? 264 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,758 -With ugly girls? -Goodbye, Heather. 265 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:08,598 Am I to understand that your type is mud ducks? 266 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,558 Heather, it's over. 267 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,238 Okay? You've ruined my life. 268 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,158 I have no job. I have to register as a sex offender. 269 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:16,998 I'm probably going to have to sell my Tercel. 270 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,478 Driffany Tompkins? 271 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:22,438 She looks like if Jim Henson got in one last puppet before he died. 272 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,760 Stop being so shallow and think about how your words are hurting me. 273 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,920 I'm sorry, I just... 274 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,238 I just think I actually had feelings for you. 275 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,838 And those feelings got you in trouble. 276 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,638 Look, you've already ruined me. The damage is done. 277 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,438 I just hope the next time you have feelings, 278 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,640 you take it out on yourself instead of an innocent bystander. 279 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,520 He used the same lines on me. 280 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,358 Well, I got everything you asked for. 281 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,478 Corn Nuts, hemorrhoid cream, 282 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,320 adult diapers and extra-small condoms. 283 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,958 I can't believe you actually fell for that. 284 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,398 God, Veronica, you're such a Jacuzzi turd. 285 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:26,000 Just throw all that in the trash along with that horrible belt you're wearing. 286 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,798 So... 287 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,600 Did you bring me what I really wanted? 288 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,158 See? 289 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,520 People were devastated. Happy? 290 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,118 Crying, good. Crying, good. 291 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,958 Her crying looks forced. 292 00:19:44,960 --> 00:19:47,120 I wish they had sprung for better flowers, like... 293 00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:49,558 Hold on. 294 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,798 Is Shelby Dunstock... texting 295 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,438 during my grieving period? 296 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:58,598 And is Dylen Lutz wearing white on the day after my death? 297 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:00,158 Heather, that's just one pic. 298 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,198 I promise, people were really devastated. 299 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:04,678 How devastated? 300 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,158 Oh, my God, do we really have to do this? 301 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,838 Veronica, I've got big plans for my return to Westerburg. 302 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,758 I'm going to help these sad, 303 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,838 unfortunate roller backpacks, okay? 304 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,558 But in order to do that, I need to feel appreciated. 305 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:21,638 I need to feel that my struggles were worth it. 306 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,718 So yes, we need to do this. 307 00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:28,278 Actually, you'll be doing most of the work. 308 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,040 Considering our deal. 309 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,160 Heather? 310 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,958 -Your mother and I are concerned. -Very concerned. 311 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,238 -We'd like to talk. -We'd like to ask you some questions. 312 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,438 -In light of Heather's suicide-- -Her death. 313 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:04,918 Are you feeling suicidal? 314 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,400 -Thoughts of suicide? -Suicidal thoughts? 315 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:09,238 -No. -You sure? 316 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:10,758 You must have at least thought about it. 317 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:14,078 -Once or twice? -No, not really. 318 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,838 Because having a close friend commit suicide, 319 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,678 that's one of the triggers that can lead to further suicides. 320 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,238 -As is ending a relationship. -With an older man. 321 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,278 Not to mention losing your friends. 322 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,758 Heather Duke left you a note today. 323 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,078 It says, "Die, you rusted bitch". 324 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,958 What did you do to Heather to make him or her write such a thing? 325 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,958 -Because-- -Heather. 326 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,518 Let your mother finish. 327 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,278 Heather, all I'm saying, 328 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,038 is that your father and I are very concerned. 329 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,558 If anyone has a reason to kill themselves, it's you. 330 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,358 Your best friend just died. 331 00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:47,918 Your remaining friends have turned on you, 332 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,478 the teacher you were sleeping with was fired, 333 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:53,078 and everyone knows that... 334 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,280 you lied about being a lesbian. 335 00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,558 Heather, when you look at the whole picture... 336 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,718 The picture as a whole. 337 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,558 It's almost like you have nothing to live for. 338 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,038 Nothing at all. 339 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,678 So, we just wanted to come in here, 340 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,080 and say we see you. 341 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,920 We see you. 342 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,120 We see you. 343 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:26,840 So, we see you. 344 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:29,918 Okay. 345 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,118 -Nicely done. I think she felt seen. -Yeah, I looked right at her. 346 00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:36,320 -I noticed that too. Good eye contact. -Thank you. 347 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,638 Jade... 348 00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:05,038 Can you please not smoke your whore cigarettes in the house? 349 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:06,518 I have company coming. 350 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:10,638 Doesn't look like anyone's coming to your little party to me, Heather. 351 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,118 People are coming. 352 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:14,120 They're just what's called fashionably late. 353 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,958 "Fashionably" is a word you know nothing about. 354 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,998 And "late" is a word you know all too well. 355 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:27,238 Shame none of those handsome boys from the football team came. 356 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,358 I was gonna let you all drink. 357 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:32,158 You don't let me do anything. You're not my mother. 358 00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,438 And furthermore, as soon as Dad wakes up, 359 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:38,278 I'm going to tell him that you've been back at Rendevous every night, 360 00:23:38,280 --> 00:23:40,718 and then he'll divorce you and I'll get everything. 361 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,840 Heather, I see what this is. 362 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,878 You're acting out because your fat friend killed herself. 363 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,038 So, as your stepmother, 364 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:52,678 I would like to give you a piece of advice 365 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,920 that has served me well in my life. 366 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,440 Fuck it all and get that money. 367 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,080 But not this money. 368 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,160 Because I already got that. 369 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:15,840 Company's here. 370 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,000 Feeling so engorged right now. 371 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,758 Westerburg. 372 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,360 No quarter drinks on the rink. Now let's roll! 373 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,478 Veronica. 374 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,278 So glad you made it. 375 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:21,720 Pretzel? 376 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,038 I know how hard Heather's death has been on you. 377 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,480 It's quite the turn-out, Betty. 378 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,720 I just want to give the people space to heal. 379 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,398 Such a shocking turn in popularity, Betty. 380 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,880 You must be really proud. 381 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,838 It's not about me. 382 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,558 Westerburg was already crying out for change, 383 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,200 and I just happened to be the one to give it to them. 384 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,800 Well, lucky us. 385 00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:56,918 I know you were a Heather, but you and I also go way back, 386 00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:00,518 so I wanted to offer you a seat at the new table. 387 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,280 Thanks, Betty. 388 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:06,760 I'm just going to give obscurity a try for a little while though. 389 00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,560 Suit yourself. 390 00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,398 Another chapter in the on-going mystery 391 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,478 of why does Veronica Sawyer hang out with her? 392 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,118 Betty's not so bad. 393 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,678 She's just always been kind of a nerd. 394 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,798 Just let her have her moment in the sun. 395 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,320 Her moment in the sun is giving everyone skin cancer. 396 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,040 Plus, we have history. 397 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,518 Do I get to peel off another layer of the onion that is Veronica Sawyer? 398 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,398 No. 399 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,958 You know you can tell me anything, right? 400 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,158 There is absolutely nothing in that deep, dark journal 401 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,398 you keep locked away from everyone else that would make me think 402 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:51,360 every planet and the sun doesn't revolve around Veronica Sawyer. 403 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,360 Okay. But let's skate. 404 00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,880 It was springtime and I remember that our moms looked so pretty. 405 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,598 Just sitting there, talking. 406 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,120 Drinking lemonade. 407 00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,600 Everything seemed so perfect. 408 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:17,958 And then I knocked Betty's croquet ball into the woods. 409 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:22,240 I guess I hit it pretty far because it felt like we were running forever. 410 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,960 And just before we got to the creek, 411 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:29,480 we saw her. 412 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,680 It was our best friend, Lucy. 413 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,918 That was a big scandal at the time. 414 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:46,560 Everybody in the state was looking for the Croquet Killer for months. 415 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,720 Then some girl fell down a well in Winesburg or something, and... 416 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,240 everybody moved on. 417 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,758 So, the killer's still out there? 418 00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:59,638 All right, Westerburg! 419 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,760 Give it up for your girl, Betty Finn! 420 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,878 Westerburg... 421 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,560 who misses Heather Chandler? 422 00:28:29,360 --> 00:28:31,600 I can't hear you! 423 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,158 That's better. 424 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,078 If Heather Chandler were here today, 425 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,958 she would be so floored by the outpouring of support 426 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,878 from everyone at Westerburg. 427 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,438 So, let's give ourselves a round of applause, 428 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,600 because we have truly mourned her so hard! 429 00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:56,078 Feed the Washington Indians. 430 00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,718 This are their sacred mounds. 431 00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,598 Take a tomahawk to their babies... 432 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,998 Okay, quiet down. 433 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,758 Now, I think we all know what Heather would want most. 434 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,158 For us to move on. 435 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:13,440 Because her time is over, and our time has just begun. 436 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:22,518 Westerburg, I have a very special announcement to make. 437 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:24,558 I have spoken to Principal Gowan, 438 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,398 and he has agreed to let me pick this year's 439 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:31,520 Westerburg High School prom theme. 440 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,598 Ladies and gentlemen... 441 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,718 Okay, like that... 442 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:40,878 Back to Basics! 443 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,200 Yeah! 444 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,278 Because after all that's happened, 445 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,160 we need to get back to what makes Westerburg-- 446 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,638 Thank you, Betty. 447 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,198 -But-- -Your services are no longer needed. 448 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:20,520 Thank you. 449 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,640 Just go ahead and take this with you. 450 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,718 Hello, Westerburg. 451 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,360 I'm sure you probably have a lot of questions. 452 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,560 Yes. It's me. 453 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,880 Yes. I'm alive. 454 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:44,760 And yes... I forgive you. 455 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,918 Which is why I want to offer myself up to you 456 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,040 as a beacon of hope. 457 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:56,240 To guide you to what I now know is true. 458 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,680 Life isn't about being popular. 459 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:06,038 It's about helping people who are less fortunate than you, like you all. 460 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,558 Which is why I plan to become... 461 00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,280 the new face of suicide. 462 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,598 Whenever someone at Westerburg is in pain, 463 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:27,920 I'll be there. 464 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:32,960 Whenever someone is being bullied, I'll be there. 465 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,680 And whenever someone just needs a shoulder to cry on, 466 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,600 I will be there. 467 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,400 She's alive, yo. Let's get back in the mix. 468 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:15,360 And we're moving. 469 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,358 I'm so glad you came back to life, Heather. 470 00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:23,518 Honestly, I was in a really dark place without you, 471 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:27,200 but now that you're back, everything's going to be okay. 472 00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:29,640 Is it, Heather? 473 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:33,960 Heather told me you tried to sit at Betty's table when I was gone. 474 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,758 -But, I-- -You're a traitor, Heather. 475 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,718 And worse, you lied about being a lesbian. 476 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,240 You know that's a hate crime, right, Heather? 477 00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:51,758 Monday morning, don't drive your car to school. 478 00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,078 Don't call a cab. 479 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,238 Don't ride a bike. 480 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,358 Take the bus. 481 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,838 Because that's what you are now, Heather. 482 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,198 Bus trash. 483 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,038 Not paper, not plastic. 484 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:10,320 Just worthless, discarded bus trash. 485 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,878 Have fun on the bus, Heather. 486 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,240 You always did think yellow was your color. 487 00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,678 Hey, y'all... 488 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:45,960 if any of you kids out there feel alone... 489 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:51,520 feel like no one in this big, bad world is listening to you... 490 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,120 and you're feeling down... 491 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:57,478 don't take your life. 492 00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,638 Just hold on. 493 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,120 For one more day. 494 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:01,920 It's not going to be... 495 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,438 Someone help me. 496 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:06,880 I think... 497 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,118 I made a... mistake. 498 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,520 God, Heather. Can't you see that Betty's in pain? 499 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,078 Would you look at that? 500 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,958 I never thought I'd see the day. 501 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,798 Heather's home before curfew. 502 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:24,958 It is a miracle from heaven. 503 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,478 Honest to God miracle. 504 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:29,160 I think you were right, honey. 505 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,480 -Think I was. -I think we finally got through to her. 506 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:37,680 Finally did. 38197

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