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1
00:00:07,941 --> 00:00:10,775
Gomer Pyle - USMC.
2
00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:15,230
Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
3
00:00:16,967 --> 00:00:20,602
Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.
4
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,674
So, I'd certainly
appreciate it, Sergeant,
5
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,110
if you'd have one of your men run
into town and do this little errand.
6
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,078
Yes, sir, I'd do it for
you personally, sir,
7
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:38,603
but I'm duty sergeant today,
and I can't get off the base.
8
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,272
But I'll have one of my
men take care of it. Fine.
9
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:43,341
Whenever Congressman
Holiday pays us a visit,
10
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:45,811
I always have a box of
his favorite cigars on hand.
11
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,412
It's the only brand he smokes.
12
00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,348
And since it's a good idea
to keep congressmen happy,
13
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,796
I thought we'd pick
him up a box. Yes, sir.
14
00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:53,952
That's the place,
15
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:56,588
C.J. Ware Tobacco
Company, 180 Grant Street.
16
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,289
It's the only place
you can get 'em.
17
00:00:58,358 --> 00:00:59,903
I'll have them on your
desk in no time, sir.
18
00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:02,594
No rush, as long as they're
here by about noon tomorrow
19
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:05,143
when the Congressman
gets here. Yes, sir.
20
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,268
Duke, now I'm gonna miss my bus.
21
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:12,515
Please, Larry? I just gotta
see my girl. I just gotta.
22
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,138
What do you say?
23
00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:16,352
Duke, you know if I had the
money to spare, I'd lend it to you,
24
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:20,044
but I only got enough to see that
movie, and I gotta see the movie.
25
00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,346
Do you mind?
26
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,125
Movie? What are you
talkin' about, a movie?
27
00:01:23,149 --> 00:01:24,583
Look, I'll take
anything you got.
28
00:01:24,651 --> 00:01:27,251
I need $10, but I wanna
see my girl. Please.
29
00:01:27,320 --> 00:01:29,131
Well, I wanna see my girl, too,
30
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,622
Sophia Loren.
31
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:32,791
Thanks.
32
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,994
Oh, Gomer. Gomer, buddy,
33
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,228
am I glad to see you.
34
00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,975
Listen, pal, can
you do me a favor?
35
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,733
Well, sure, Duke. What good is
a friend for if he can't help you?
36
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,402
I need some money.
Sorry, I can't help you.
37
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:45,604
Please, Gomer.
38
00:01:45,672 --> 00:01:47,506
I got a real important
date tonight,
39
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,752
that airline stewardess, Patty
Gillette. I told you all about her.
40
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,409
Oh, yeah, the one
that's always flyin'
41
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,490
back and forth to San
Francisco. Yeah, that's the one.
42
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,492
Well, I didn't tell you
everything about her.
43
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,482
See, she's just not
any ordinary girl.
44
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,784
She's... Well, I think
I'm in love with her.
45
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,387
Golly, Duke.
46
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,923
That's wonderful.
And best wishes to you.
47
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,559
Yeah, well, this is the first
Saturday she's had off in weeks,
48
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:09,972
and, well, that's why I need
the money. I just have to see her.
49
00:02:09,996 --> 00:02:12,409
Oh, well, when I said a while
ago that I couldn't help you,
50
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,311
I just meant I ain't got
a whole lot of money,
51
00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:16,246
but you're welcome
to everything I got.
52
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,514
Oh, great, Gomer.
You're a peach.
53
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:18,818
I'll never forget you for this.
54
00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,049
And if Patty and I
ever get married,
55
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,174
I promise, you're
gonna be the best man.
56
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,308
Shazam!
57
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,488
That sure would be
a wonderful honor.
58
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:26,512
Yeah.
59
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:34,219
10, 20, 30, 31, 32, 33.
60
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,654
There you are, Duke. Take it.
61
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,172
Gomer, that's all you got?
62
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,520
Well, sure, but don't
worry. I don't need it.
63
00:02:40,544 --> 00:02:42,811
Gomer, that's not even
enough for bus fare one way.
64
00:02:42,879 --> 00:02:44,257
I promised her
candlelight dinner
65
00:02:44,281 --> 00:02:46,364
and dancing to violin music.
66
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:49,234
I need at least $10.
67
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,381
Well, why don't you
hitchhike into town?
68
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,249
And if you love her
and she loves you,
69
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,418
then you should be
happy just bein' together.
70
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,353
You could take her
for a walk in the park,
71
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,389
and 33 cents will
buy you somethin',
72
00:02:59,413 --> 00:03:01,580
like two snow cones
and some jujubes...
73
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,815
Yeah, thanks,
thanks a lot, Gomer.
74
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:07,318
I guess I better call her
and tell her the date's off.
75
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,198
Hey, Sergeant.
76
00:03:20,267 --> 00:03:22,834
Don't tell me everybody's
gone on pass already.
77
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,737
Well, not everybody,
I'm still here.
78
00:03:25,806 --> 00:03:27,439
No, I couldn't be that unlucky.
79
00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:29,318
What's the matter, Sergeant?
80
00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,476
Nothing.
81
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,112
Just listen and
pay close attention.
82
00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,693
Now, in this envelope, there's
some money and a piece of paper
83
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,617
with the name of
a kind of cigar on it.
84
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:42,420
I want you to take it to the C.J. Ware
Tobacco Company at 180 Grant Street.
85
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,456
Oh, I know where that is. Good.
86
00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:46,959
Now, don't open it. Just
give it to the man there,
87
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,962
and he'll give you a box of
cigars to bring back to me. Easy?
88
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,097
Easy as pie. Okay,
89
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,899
now what are you gonna do?
90
00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:58,369
Well, I'm supposed to go to
pick up a box of cigars at the...
91
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:03,709
"C.J. Ware Tobacco
Company at 180 Grant Street."
92
00:04:03,777 --> 00:04:06,878
And I ain't to open up the
envelope, but just give it to the man,
93
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,324
and he'll give me
a box of cigars,
94
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,859
and I bring 'em
back here to you.
95
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,583
Fine, now, that's
all there is to it,
96
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,285
and Colonel Gray
will really appreciate it.
97
00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,622
You mean I'm doin'
this for Colonel Gray?
98
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,973
Right. And he has
to have those cigars
99
00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:20,519
in time to give to a congressman
100
00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:22,460
when he gets here
tomorrow. Is that clear?
101
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:25,279
Clear as a shiny, new
dime at the bottom of a well.
102
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,183
Just make sure you do it right.
103
00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:30,171
Oh, I will, it sure
sounds important.
104
00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,605
It is, and to save time,
take the company jeep.
105
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:34,906
Shazam!
106
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:37,053
It's sure fun to drive
the jeep into town.
107
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,756
Everybody waves at you.
You're not going to have fun!
108
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:43,281
You're going to bring back a
box of cigars! Now, move it!
109
00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:44,515
Yes, sir, Sergeant.
110
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,551
And I'll be right
back in a jiffy.
111
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,198
Good gracious, I get to
take the company jeep.
112
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,840
I get to double-clutch
and everything.
113
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,644
How'd she take it?
114
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,913
She cried.
115
00:04:58,982 --> 00:05:02,128
I still think you should have
hitchhiked into town just to see her.
116
00:05:02,152 --> 00:05:04,052
Doesn't matter now, Gomer,
117
00:05:04,121 --> 00:05:06,665
she was just getting ready to call me to
break the date. That's why she was cryin'.
118
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:07,856
Really? How come?
119
00:05:07,924 --> 00:05:09,468
One of the other
hostesses got sick,
120
00:05:09,492 --> 00:05:11,404
and they called
Patty to fill in for her.
121
00:05:11,428 --> 00:05:13,094
Oh, ain't that a shame.
122
00:05:13,163 --> 00:05:15,725
She was cryin' so hard I could
hardly tell what she was saying.
123
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:17,148
Oh, bless her heart.
124
00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,083
But you know what
they say, Duke,
125
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,586
"The course of true love
never does run smooth."
126
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:22,971
So you don't feel bad.
127
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,605
I'm just mad at myself.
128
00:05:24,674 --> 00:05:27,309
Here I was worrying about
dining and dancing and...
129
00:05:27,377 --> 00:05:30,489
You were right, Gomer. I should
have gone into town just to be with her.
130
00:05:30,513 --> 00:05:33,465
I'd give anything
just to see her now.
131
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:37,435
Well, there's nothin' much I
can do about it now, I guess.
132
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:39,799
Why are you changin'?
Are you goin' in? Uh-huh.
133
00:05:39,823 --> 00:05:42,702
While you was out makin' a phone
call, Sergeant Carter come by here.
134
00:05:42,726 --> 00:05:45,204
I got to go into town on
an errand for Colonel Gray
135
00:05:45,228 --> 00:05:46,778
to get him a box of cigars.
136
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,524
That should make
an exciting Saturday.
137
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,014
It ain't too bad.
138
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,161
At least I don't have to
ride the bus into town.
139
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,464
Sergeant told me I could
use the company jeep.
140
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,187
Well, have fun.
141
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,124
The jeep?
142
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,433
You've got the jeep, Gomer?
You've really got the jeep?
143
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,239
Uh-huh. What a break.
144
00:06:03,263 --> 00:06:04,762
You can drive me to the airport,
145
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:06,910
and I can spend a little time
with Patty before she leaves!
146
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,699
I can't do that, Duke.
147
00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,280
I got to go pick up the
cigars and come right back.
148
00:06:10,304 --> 00:06:11,803
We'll come right back.
149
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,283
I'll go on your errand with
you, we'll come back together.
150
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:15,151
Come on, Gomer, you
have to. You just have to.
151
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:18,087
But Sergeant Carter didn't tell
me I could take anybody with me.
152
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:19,677
Yeah, but he didn't
say you couldn't.
153
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,740
Well, I guess you're
right about that.
154
00:06:21,764 --> 00:06:23,364
We'll spend a few
minutes with Patty,
155
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,478
we'll pick up the cigars, and
we'll come right back. I promise.
156
00:06:25,502 --> 00:06:28,636
Golly, Duke. Please, Gomer.
Just a few minutes. Please.
157
00:06:28,705 --> 00:06:31,184
But the airport's a good
15 minutes from town.
158
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:34,276
That means it's 15 minutes
goin', and 15 minutes comin' back,
159
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,088
plus the time you
spend with Patty.
160
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:38,763
That makes my trip
about 40 minutes longer.
161
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:42,166
Gomer, a little while ago,
162
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,370
you said, "What good is a
friend if he can't help you?"
163
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,372
Well, now is your
chance to prove it.
164
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:51,442
A friend needs your
help now, desperately.
165
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:54,946
A friend who has one last
chance to see the woman he loves,
166
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,183
a friend who turns to you
as one last beacon of hope,
167
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:01,386
and only you are in
a position to help him.
168
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,991
Gomer... I am that friend.
169
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,379
The decision is yours.
170
00:07:16,119 --> 00:07:17,986
Okay, Duke, I'll take you.
171
00:07:18,054 --> 00:07:20,688
Gomer, great.
Thanks, buddy. Thanks.
172
00:07:20,757 --> 00:07:23,258
You better save
them hugs for Patty.
173
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,095
She should be around
here somewhere.
174
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,762
She said she had
a noontime flight.
175
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,003
There she is,
Gomer. There, there.
176
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,318
Beautiful, is she beautiful?
177
00:07:39,342 --> 00:07:41,709
Patty! Patty!
178
00:07:41,778 --> 00:07:44,095
Duke! Duke!
179
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,986
Honey. Oh, honey.
180
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:10,955
Oh, honey, it's
wonderful to see you.
181
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,991
Oh, Duke. I'm so glad you came.
182
00:08:14,961 --> 00:08:16,961
Hey, we better watch it.
183
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,530
I'm on duty.
184
00:08:18,598 --> 00:08:20,976
So, make like I'm a
passenger and welcome me.
185
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,700
No, please. Honey, I missed you.
186
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,503
Oh, I missed you, too.
187
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,050
Oh, this is my good
buddy Gomer Pyle.
188
00:08:27,074 --> 00:08:28,617
He drove me down
here to see you.
189
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,286
Gomer, this is my
girlfriend, Patty Gillette.
190
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,427
Hi, Gomer. Hey, Miss Patty.
191
00:08:32,495 --> 00:08:34,757
You're just as pretty
as Duke said you was.
192
00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,214
Thank you.
193
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,228
It does my heart good
to see you two together.
194
00:08:38,252 --> 00:08:39,929
It's like watchin'
a happy endin'.
195
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:41,486
Ending? We're just beginning.
196
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:43,333
Don't forget, Duke, we
got that errand to run.
197
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,602
I think we really ought
to go. In a minute, Gomer.
198
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,403
Honey, when are we ever
gonna have any time together?
199
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,328
Oh, I thought we'd have time
tonight. I'm sorry about our date.
200
00:08:50,397 --> 00:08:51,908
Me too, but this is
better than nothin'.
201
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,309
I think we'd better go, Duke.
202
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,810
We've been gone an hour already,
203
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,645
and we still got
that errand to do.
204
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,103
Gomer, I just got here.
205
00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,848
But Sergeant Carter is waitin',
206
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,192
and we've got to
pick up them cigars.
207
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:05,076
Okay, just one last
kiss, and then I'll go.
208
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,513
Oh, uh, uh, I'll
be right with you.
209
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:11,149
Oh, Duke, I'm sorry.
I really have to go.
210
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,351
Gomer, it's been very
nice meeting you. Goodbye.
211
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:15,220
Goodbye, honey. Oh, goodbye.
212
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,255
Duke, Duke!
213
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,840
Hey, it's Sergeant
Carter and the General.
214
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,328
Holy smokes.
What's he doin' here?
215
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:25,908
He's duty sergeant this weekend
216
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:29,212
and he probably had to bring
that there general out here.
217
00:09:30,253 --> 00:09:32,064
What'll we do if he finds us?
218
00:09:32,088 --> 00:09:33,621
I don't know.
219
00:09:34,524 --> 00:09:35,757
In here.
220
00:09:37,093 --> 00:09:38,192
Here.
221
00:09:44,651 --> 00:09:47,185
I'll take the case
to your seat, sir.
222
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,872
Is he still out
there? I don't know.
223
00:09:51,941 --> 00:09:53,841
Well, take a peek and see.
224
00:09:53,910 --> 00:09:55,070
Okay.
225
00:10:07,457 --> 00:10:10,558
Golly, Duke, this is some kettle
of fish you've gotten me into.
226
00:10:10,627 --> 00:10:12,738
Take it easy, Gomer,
he'll be goin' in a minute.
227
00:10:12,762 --> 00:10:14,862
I should have been back
with the cigars by now.
228
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,497
We'll get 'em. Relax.
229
00:10:16,566 --> 00:10:17,886
I knew I shouldn't have done it.
230
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,614
I should have gone
straight to that store
231
00:10:19,669 --> 00:10:22,269
and picked up the cigars and
gone right back to the base.
232
00:10:22,338 --> 00:10:24,617
Look, Gomer, we'll be
back in less than an hour.
233
00:10:24,641 --> 00:10:27,575
I promise you.
Would I let you down?
234
00:10:28,311 --> 00:10:29,677
Well, would I?
235
00:10:29,746 --> 00:10:31,223
Look, I appreciate
what you did for me,
236
00:10:31,247 --> 00:10:34,159
and I promise we'll be
back in plenty of time.
237
00:10:34,183 --> 00:10:38,085
Golly, this is some kettle of
fish you've gotten me into, Duke.
238
00:10:39,255 --> 00:10:42,790
Duke, I think we're movin'.
239
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,437
Gomer, look, I've
been in jets before,
240
00:10:44,461 --> 00:10:47,795
and when they take off,
man, they go straight up.
241
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:51,031
Believe me, if we were
takin' off, you'd know it.
242
00:10:57,473 --> 00:11:00,708
Duke, Duke! We're up!
We're up, Duke! We're up!
243
00:11:00,777 --> 00:11:02,321
Hold it, Gomer. Take it easy.
244
00:11:02,345 --> 00:11:04,211
What am I gonna
do about the cigars?
245
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,492
Look, don't panic. Don't worry.
246
00:11:06,516 --> 00:11:09,394
Look, it only takes a half-hour
to get to San Francisco.
247
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,696
We'll catch another
plane right back,
248
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,598
and we'll have those cigars
in Sergeant Carter's hands
249
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:14,742
in less than two
hours. I promise you.
250
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:24,231
Good afternoon. This is
your pilot, Captain Coloruso.
251
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,735
We'll be flying at an
altitude of 37,000 feet
252
00:11:27,804 --> 00:11:30,638
at a speed of 630 miles an hour.
253
00:11:30,707 --> 00:11:33,708
Weather conditions are
excellent, visibility is normal,
254
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:36,978
and we should be
arriving on time in Rome.
255
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,380
Rome!
256
00:11:40,650 --> 00:11:42,583
Rome, Italy?
257
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,179
I checked the "Y", the
U.S.O., the libraries,
258
00:11:55,247 --> 00:11:58,082
the bowling alley, the PX.
No one's seen him all day.
259
00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:00,485
Ten hours, it's been 10 hours!
260
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,198
Maybe the jeep broke down, and
he had to walk to town and back.
261
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,490
In 10 hours, he could
crawl to town and back!
262
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,157
Come in!
263
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:09,126
Sergeant Carter, I did
everything you said.
264
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:11,729
I went to every movie house
in town, I couldn't find him.
265
00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,131
What about the cigar
store? I went there, too.
266
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,311
The man said there were
a lot of Marines there today,
267
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:17,680
but he doesn't
remember seeing Pyle.
268
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:19,737
If he saw Pyle,
he'd remember him.
269
00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,550
Where could he be,
the knucklehead?
270
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,007
Where could he be?
271
00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,055
Ladies and gentlemen,
272
00:12:37,123 --> 00:12:39,523
we have just landed
at the Rome airport.
273
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,092
Please remain in your seats
274
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,594
until the aircraft comes
to a complete stop.
275
00:12:43,663 --> 00:12:46,698
On behalf of the
entire crew, may I say
276
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,600
we have been most
happy to have you aboard.
277
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,539
We're really here.
278
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,743
We're really in Rome,
Italy! Well, it's all your...
279
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,411
It's all your fault
280
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:02,246
sneaking on this
plane behind my back.
281
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:03,759
Well, honey, we
had to do somethin'.
282
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,627
Well, what do we do
now? What do we do now?
283
00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:07,396
I don't know what
we're gonna do!
284
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,921
The first thing we've
got to do is relax.
285
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,785
Relax? You're talkin' to two
condemned men. You ask us to relax?
286
00:13:12,809 --> 00:13:14,287
They're gonna court-martial us.
287
00:13:14,311 --> 00:13:15,688
That's what they're gonna do.
288
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:18,140
They're gonna
court-martial us. I know.
289
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:20,008
I knew I shouldn't
have disobeyed orders.
290
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:22,132
I should have gone
straight to that cigar store
291
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,012
and gone straight
back to the base.
292
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,081
I knew it. I just knew it.
293
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:28,072
We're in Rome. Rome!
294
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:31,542
We ain't just out of town!
We're in Rome, Italy!
295
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:35,613
Duke, we're only going to be in Rome
long enough for servicing and refueling.
296
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,683
Then it's just two short
jumps to Paris and London.
297
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,185
I can get you back home
on the very first plane.
298
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:44,204
You won't have been
gone for more than 24 hours.
299
00:13:44,273 --> 00:13:45,940
Twenty-four hours?
300
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:48,042
Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord!
301
00:13:48,111 --> 00:13:49,877
Rome, Paris, and London.
302
00:13:49,946 --> 00:13:51,724
They're gonna court-martial
us. That's what...
303
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:54,915
Gomer, we're gonna be in the
brig for 15 years! We'll never have...
304
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:56,801
Boys, boys,
305
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,602
we're going to
go into the airport,
306
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,539
and I'm going to arrange
for you to make a phone call.
307
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:05,209
Uh, oh, uh, e-e-excuse me.
308
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:09,713
A phone call?
309
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,382
From Rome, Italy?
310
00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:14,652
Why, that's long distance.
311
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,214
Yes, I'll hold!
312
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:29,784
They've got the
switchboard at the base.
313
00:14:33,189 --> 00:14:34,488
Thank you!
314
00:14:34,557 --> 00:14:36,357
Here, it's ringing.
315
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:39,020
Now, act like nothing's wrong.
316
00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,223
Act real casual
and real relaxed.
317
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:44,582
And don't let him suspect for a
minute that you're in Rome, Italy. Easy.
318
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:50,854
Hello! Hello? Sergeant Carter?
319
00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:53,702
You sound nervous. You
sound too nervous. Calm down.
320
00:14:55,795 --> 00:14:57,361
Hey, Sergeant.
321
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,580
I'll bet you'll never
guess who this is.
322
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,766
Well, let me try.
323
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:04,736
From your voice, I'd say you
were a member of my platoon,
324
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,570
a Private Gomer Pyle.
325
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,905
But that can't be.
326
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:10,124
He met with a tragic accident.
327
00:15:10,193 --> 00:15:11,959
But it is me, Sergeant.
328
00:15:12,028 --> 00:15:14,161
I didn't meet with
no tragic accident.
329
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:16,897
Oh, no? Just wait till I
get my hands on you!
330
00:15:16,966 --> 00:15:18,850
Where have you
been all day, Pyle?
331
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,819
Well, it's kind of
hard to explain.
332
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:24,671
Don't tell him, don't
tell him where you are.
333
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,129
Pyle, what's all that racket?
334
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,349
Oh, I get it!
335
00:15:35,418 --> 00:15:37,951
You stopped off
for a pizza, huh?
336
00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,053
Telefono!
337
00:15:40,122 --> 00:15:42,089
No, Sergeant,
338
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:45,109
but I did stop off
at an Italian place.
339
00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,962
But just to get some gas.
340
00:15:48,031 --> 00:15:49,396
Oh, no, Sergeant.
341
00:15:49,465 --> 00:15:51,633
I didn't forget the
cigars for one minute.
342
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,069
Well, you hear this,
Pyle, and hear it good!
343
00:15:55,138 --> 00:15:58,506
As soon as you get
gas, I want you to take off!
344
00:15:58,574 --> 00:16:00,541
You hear me? Take off!
345
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,246
All right, all right.
I'm comin', I'm comin'.
346
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,023
Hello.
347
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:34,725
Huh?
348
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:37,562
Pyle.
349
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,762
Pyle!
350
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,465
Hey, Sergeant.
351
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,728
You recognized
my voice right off.
352
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,787
Listen, you blockhead!
It's the middle of the night!
353
00:16:45,855 --> 00:16:47,855
What?
354
00:16:47,924 --> 00:16:50,457
Oh, I didn't know
it was that late.
355
00:16:51,127 --> 00:16:53,094
You was asleep?
356
00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:54,962
Well, I don't blame
you for bein' angry,
357
00:16:55,031 --> 00:16:57,565
not for one minute. No, sir.
358
00:16:57,633 --> 00:17:00,668
Where are you? I sent you in
this morning! I haven't seen...
359
00:17:00,737 --> 00:17:01,869
What?
360
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:04,471
I didn't quite get that.
361
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,207
Where am I?
362
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,344
Uh, well, it's kind
of hard to pinpoint.
363
00:17:10,413 --> 00:17:12,324
He wants to know where
I am. Tell him your in...
364
00:17:12,348 --> 00:17:13,581
Oh, pardon.
365
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,176
Uh, thank you, ma'am,
and same to you.
366
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,078
So that's it, huh, Pyle?
367
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,425
First the pizza, and now
you're winding things up
368
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:31,849
at the C'est Si Bon Club.
369
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,186
Oh, that's silly, Sergeant.
370
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,955
How could I get you
arrested for murder?
371
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,657
Oh.
372
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,961
He's gonna kill me.
373
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:47,631
All right, Sergeant. I'll get
back there just as fast as I can.
374
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:59,076
Announcing the
departure of flight 110
375
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:03,680
for Manchester... Duke! Here!
376
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:08,352
Oh, these were the
very last two seats left.
377
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,620
Oh, Duke, I put them
on my credit card.
378
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,589
Don't forget that. I won't.
379
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:14,369
Your plane leaves
in a few minutes,
380
00:18:14,393 --> 00:18:16,293
and you'll be home in 10 hours.
381
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,163
You're terrific, baby.
382
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:22,166
Announcing the
departure of flight 707
383
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,869
to New York and Los Angeles.
384
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,638
Passengers will please
proceed to embarkation point D.
385
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:34,778
Uh, well, I... I guess
that's your plane.
386
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,313
Better hurry.
387
00:18:36,382 --> 00:18:37,948
Oh, are you lucky.
388
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,985
It's the only flight
out on Sunday.
389
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,720
Sunday? Did you say Sunday?
390
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,290
Well, yes, today is Sunday.
391
00:18:46,358 --> 00:18:48,003
It's Sunday, Duke, it's Sunday.
392
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,538
That cigar store will be closed,
393
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,590
and I won't be able to buy
those cigars for the Colonel.
394
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:54,126
Gomer, are you worried about
cigars now? Let's get out of here.
395
00:18:54,150 --> 00:18:55,527
But I got to. I promised.
396
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:58,063
Well, they sell cigars right
over there, Gomer. Hurry.
397
00:18:58,087 --> 00:19:01,622
Mr. Robert Saunders,
kindly report to the...
398
00:19:01,691 --> 00:19:03,902
Mister, my plane's
about to take off,
399
00:19:03,926 --> 00:19:06,527
and I need these cigars
real desperate like.
400
00:19:06,595 --> 00:19:08,712
Ah, you Americans,
always in a hurry.
401
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:11,415
How'd you know I
was an American?
402
00:19:13,953 --> 00:19:16,387
"El Fina Corona."
403
00:19:16,455 --> 00:19:19,056
I'm frightfully sorry, sir.
We don't carry that brand.
404
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:21,025
Oh, that's terrible.
405
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:23,027
But if I can make
a suggestion, sir,
406
00:19:23,096 --> 00:19:24,712
this is a fine corona.
407
00:19:24,781 --> 00:19:26,279
It's a lovely shape
408
00:19:26,348 --> 00:19:29,033
and an ever-so-mild
smoke, you know.
409
00:19:29,102 --> 00:19:33,888
Well, uh, hey, Duke.
Duke, come here.
410
00:19:35,024 --> 00:19:36,891
He ain't got the
kind that I wanted.
411
00:19:36,959 --> 00:19:38,654
These are the very
best we handle.
412
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,245
Gomer, are you gonna be choosy
now? Grab any box. Let's go.
413
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:44,634
Well, I guess I'd better
take somethin' back.
414
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,283
Is this enough?
415
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,318
Well, that will do nicely.
416
00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,587
Yes.
417
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:52,623
Here are your cigars.
418
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,826
And, uh, here's your change.
419
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:57,628
Thank you. I've got to run.
420
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,546
It sure was nice meetin' you.
421
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:08,200
Do you realize how
long he's been gone?
422
00:20:08,224 --> 00:20:09,835
Twenty-three and one-half hours.
423
00:20:09,859 --> 00:20:12,059
Twenty-three and one-half hours.
424
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:14,461
I'll kill him! No, I'll
court-martial him!
425
00:20:14,530 --> 00:20:17,309
No, first, I'll court-martial
him and then I'll kill him!
426
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,533
Would you mind?
427
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,937
Hello? Colonel Gray, sir?
428
00:20:23,006 --> 00:20:24,149
Yes, sir.
429
00:20:24,173 --> 00:20:25,851
You want to speak
to Sergeant Carter.
430
00:20:25,875 --> 00:20:28,876
Well, Sergeant Carter
isn't here right now, sir.
431
00:20:28,945 --> 00:20:30,611
Well, no, sir.
432
00:20:30,679 --> 00:20:34,015
No, sir. Uh, no. I... I
don't know where he is.
433
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:36,795
Well, yes, sir, yes, sir, I'll tell
him as soon as he comes in.
434
00:20:36,819 --> 00:20:38,219
Yes, sir.
435
00:20:38,288 --> 00:20:40,608
Phew. He sounded
pretty angry, Sarge.
436
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,755
Oh!
437
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,083
Hey, Sergeant.
438
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,389
Excuse me.
439
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,925
I brought your cigars.
440
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:04,862
Made quite a night
of it, huh, Pyle?
441
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:07,365
Fall in over in
front of that desk!
442
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,503
Now, you stand at attention!
443
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:15,539
You stay just like that, Pyle.
444
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:17,741
Don't move, not one inch!
445
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:21,645
I'm coming back to see
you. I'm coming right back.
446
00:21:26,469 --> 00:21:28,047
We always look
forward to your visit here
447
00:21:28,071 --> 00:21:29,837
with a great deal of
pleasure, Congressman.
448
00:21:29,905 --> 00:21:31,550
The feeling's mutual, Colonel.
449
00:21:31,574 --> 00:21:34,019
You people really know how
to make a man feel welcome.
450
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:36,576
Come in.
451
00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:41,415
Sergeant Carter
reporting as ordered, sir.
452
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,087
Uh, if this is
what I think it is,
453
00:21:47,156 --> 00:21:49,189
it's for you, Congressman.
454
00:21:49,258 --> 00:21:51,274
You never forget, do you?
455
00:21:54,697 --> 00:21:57,114
Is there, uh, anything wrong?
456
00:21:57,183 --> 00:21:59,550
This isn't the kind I smoke.
457
00:22:01,236 --> 00:22:03,703
This is a special
English market selection.
458
00:22:03,772 --> 00:22:05,772
Best cigar in the world.
459
00:22:05,842 --> 00:22:08,892
I'll bet you pulled some
strings to get these, Colonel.
460
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:12,074
I've never been able to find
them any place in this country.
461
00:22:12,098 --> 00:22:15,665
Well, sir, uh... Leave
it to the Marines.
462
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:22,172
That's what I call a cigar.
463
00:22:30,249 --> 00:22:31,489
Pyle...
464
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:34,785
Pyle.
465
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:36,787
Pyle!
466
00:22:38,925 --> 00:22:41,258
Okay, so, you
had yourself a fling.
467
00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:44,328
So, you did the town from
one end to the other. So what?
468
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,041
Am I the kind of
guy to get upset
469
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:48,243
over a little thing
like that, huh?
470
00:22:48,267 --> 00:22:51,068
You even brought
the wrong cigars.
471
00:22:51,137 --> 00:22:52,636
So what?
472
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,571
I couldn't help it, Sergeant.
473
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,274
You see, I had to buy
'em at a different store.
474
00:22:57,343 --> 00:22:59,388
Well, you just
remember that store,
475
00:22:59,412 --> 00:23:01,652
because the next time the
Congressman comes here,
476
00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:05,582
you're gonna have to go back
there and get those same cigars.
477
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,493
Come in.
478
00:23:18,431 --> 00:23:19,896
Hello, Pyle.
479
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,898
Hey, Sergeant.
480
00:23:21,968 --> 00:23:23,533
Where are you goin'?
481
00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:27,371
Three-day pass, Pyle,
compliments of Colonel Gray.
482
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,656
Golly.
483
00:23:29,725 --> 00:23:33,593
Yep, I might even go all
the way to San Francisco.
484
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:34,895
Really?
485
00:23:34,964 --> 00:23:38,065
Well, I sure am glad I
caught you before you left.
486
00:23:38,133 --> 00:23:39,833
Pyle, what did you do now?
487
00:23:39,902 --> 00:23:43,637
Nothin'. I just wanted to give you
the change from that box of cigars.
488
00:23:44,707 --> 00:23:46,607
Thanks, Pyle.
489
00:23:46,675 --> 00:23:48,842
Well, have a good time.
490
00:23:57,636 --> 00:23:59,003
Three shillings?
37206
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