All language subtitles for Mom - 04x18 - Tush Push And Some Radishes.LOL.C

Jill, you're a seven, right?

If I'm a seven, you're a four.

Meow!

I meant your shoe size.

Oh. In that case, yes.

And sorry for snappin' at ya.

When you have your hair
down and gloss those lips,

you're a solid six.

Thanks. I was just hoping to
borrow some cowboy boots.

She's got a date with a hillbilly.

- He's not a hillbilly.
- He's taking you country line dancing,

so he's a hillbilly from the early '90s.

Hey, it's still cool to line dance.

I take a line dance aerobics class.

And who's cooler than Marjorie?

I've got a date with a
coordinated man who has a penis.

I'd do the polka, if
that's what it took.

Do you even have a
clue how to line dance?

Yeah. You wear cute
boots and dance in a line.

Ugh. Oh, I did not just hear that.

You are gonna lose that
fella to a gal who knows

how to tush push you right out
of a two wall formation change.

A two wall what?

All right. Line up, ladies.

Let's show Christy a
little country heat.

Shouldn't we stretch first?

I got to tinkle.

No, no time.

The Gamblers Anonymous people
will be here any minute,

and I owe one of them a
couple hundred dollars.

Okay, now, this is your basic step.

Follow my lead.

Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight.

Step, back, side, touch.
Step, back, side, touch.

Pivot, pivot.

Kick ball change, twist, twist...

Oh, dear Lord, how were
you ever a stripper?

You put glitter on your boobs
and Def Leppard's playing.

Nobody's looking at your feet.

Hello?

Yeah, this is she.

Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.

Okay, well, thanks for calling.

- Who was that?
- Uh, some lawyer. My mother's dead.

Pivot, pivot.

Kick ball change...

What?

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

- You doin' all right?
- Yeah. Why?

Bonnie, we're your friends.

Knock, knock, let us in.

What? You mean my mother?

I barely knew the woman. I'm fine.

I wish this was a true
medium rare, but I'm fine.

You're not sad that she died?

No, but you seem to be
snottin' it up pretty good.

Okay, I got a little more information.

She was in the hospital, she
didn't suffer, she went quick.

Not quick enough.

- Oh, Bonnie...
- Oh, Wendy!

And her landlord wants
everything out of the apartment.

So I guess we're going to San Francisco.

- Pass.
- Pass?

They can dump her stuff
in the bay, for all I care.

- Oh, Bonnie...
- That's two!

You don't want to find
out what happens at three!

You don't.

This is all very fresh.

But when you have a little distance,

you might regret not going
and getting some closure.

Might help you get rid
of some of that anger.

- What anger?
- But it's your...

Do not say “mother”!

A mother is someone who
sticks around, day in, day out,

and pays the price, like I did with her.

- Well, you didn't exactly...
- Not the time.

Her mother just died, her
burger's not pink in the middle,

and she's about to punch Wendy.

- Couldn't sleep?
- No.

And I was so hoping
you'd come downstairs

so we could have a deep,
life-affirming talk about it.

Kiss my ass.

You know, you might not care
that you lost your mother,

but I lost my grandmother.

If I kiss your ass,
will you leave me alone?

You do understand we're never
gonna see this woman again.

And you understand we
never saw her before.

Christy, if you and I

had never reconnected and I
died, would you have mourned me?

Yes, I would have.

Oh, come on. Those years
we weren't speaking,

did you even think about me at all?

Every day.

- Really?
- Yes.

You never called.

For 18 months, you didn't
have phone privileges.

Give me one good reason why
I should go to San Francisco

and rummage around that
old woman's apartment.

And don't give me any of
that emotional closure crap.

Maybe you could find some stuff to sell.

You should've led with that. I'm in.

Hello, Wendy's next birthday present.

Good news... we inherited a
closet full of soap operas

and a VHS player that was...
Get this... built in America.

Aw.

She liked soap operas.

I bet she watched them
to fill her lonely life.

Oh, grow up, Bambi.

The only reason we're here
is to find crap we can sell.

That's your reason.

I came here to learn
about my grandmother.

Let me give you a
thumbnail: she smoked Camels,

wore clogs, and gave away her daughter.

Hey, Cranky, I think you need to eat.

Maybe there's something in the fridge.

Yeah, probably a six-pack
of Ensure and some radishes.

Ooh, even better, a shriveled
lemon and some batteries.

Aw, she liked lemons.

Probably to put in
the tea that she drank

while she watched her stories.

Stop it!

Why can't this be like in the movies,

where I wear a black suit and a veil

and pretend to cry into a hanky
while a lawyer hands me a check,

and... Oh, my God, you're not
gonna believe what I found.

If it's a dead cat, lie to me.

It's a big bag of cash. Look!

If it's a dead cat, I am gonna kill you.

No, it really is a big bag of cash!

Oh, Mommy, I knew you
were looking out for me!

I've got $2,438.
You?

I got $673.

- Really?
- Sorry.

Old habit. $3,084.

Oh, my God.

Altogether, that's, um...

Carry the six...

Let's just say we have
between five and six grand.

- “We”?
- Yeah, “we.”

I don't mean to pull rank
here, but she was my mother.

You wouldn't even know about the money

if I hadn't dragged you down here.

You just came so you
could fence her toaster.

We're still doing that.

Come on, grab the boxes,
I'll take the cash.

Nice try.

Let's just go.

It's kind of sad.

The woman lived her whole life,
and all she had to show for it

were a few tchotchkes and a wad of cash.

- And me.
- I was including you as a tchotchke.

- Who are you?
- Who are you?

This is my mother's place.

Oh, my God.

Have we been cleaning
out the wrong apartment?

Who exactly is your mother?

Shirley Stabler.

Wow. Grandma just got
a lot more interesting.

Not so fast. I know this hustle.

- What hustle?
- You scan the obits,

find out about an old lady that's dead,

show up to her apartment
claiming to be a relative.

- Who does that?
- I've done it.

Yeah. It works every time.

Except when you get
sloppy. My mother was white.

So was mine.

Look, here.

This is my mother with my father.

Wow.

There's Grandma with a... black man.

I'm sorry. That was weird.

I don't know why I whispered.

We have black friends.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna
need some proof, Miss... ?

You first.

Ray Stabler.

- Bonnie Plunkett.
- Christy Plunkett.

Unfortunately, the only proof
I can show you is a picture

of the fire station she
dumped me at when I was four.

Here's the e-mail we got from a lawyer.

This is crazy.

Are you saying you're my... sister?

I'm not sayin' nothin' to nobody.

Unbelievable.

I saw her in the hospital
right before she passed,

and she never mentioned a daughter.

Just said, “Look in the freezer.”

Well, that makes no sense.

- Dementia, huh?
- Cancer.

Same thing.

So, uh, let me get this straight.
She kept you?

I guess it's not what you want
to hear, but, yes, she did.

Wow. Even from the grave,

she's finding new
ways to stick it to me.

Frozen peas?

Why would she want me to find these?

Eh, you know, mothers and vegetables.

Excuse me, I got to take this.

Yeah, Lorraine.

- Put him on.
- Can you believe this?

She didn't want the
girl but kept the boy?

Where are we, China?

Don't we have to tell him
about the money?

No! Are you crazy?

But his mom told him about the freezer.

Yeah, and he got a bag
of peas. Everybody wins.

But now that we're sober,

aren't we supposed to be
rigorously honest?

Not when it comes to money.

I'm sorry about that.
Got a trial coming up.

Oh, really? What'd they get you for?

I'm the lawyer.

Oh. Well, la-Dee-da.

A lawyer.

That's so cool. You know, I'm actually

- studying to be...
- Not now.

Listen, I'm not really sure
what we're supposed to do here.

This is my card.

Give me a call
if you ever want to sit down

and... I don't know... talk.

Well, I don't have a card,
seeing as it's not 1947.

Is she always like this?

No, sometimes she's in a bad mood.

I can come back another time.
Take whatever you need,

but if you find any pictures
of an adorable black boy,

don't throw 'em out.

Hang on.

This makes a lot more sense now.

You threw out my Little League
picture? That's cold.

Sorry. We thought
you came with the frame.

Okay, I'm just gonna go.

Wait! We found a bunch of

- cash in the freezer.
- No!

It's only right if you take half.

How much is there?

- About six grand.
- $350.

Six grand.

It's okay. You keep it.

What's that supposed to mean?

- Means I don't need it.
- And we do?

We do, Mom. We really do.

Here. I got news for you, little bro.

You can keep your charity.
I have lived my whole life

without any help from that woman.

I do not need a handout now!

I am so sorry about that.

For someone who wasn't
raised by my mother,

she sure is a lot like her.

Never, ever say that to her.

Can you move your foot,
Uncle Ray? You're on a 50.

- Here. Let me help you with that.
- Thanks.

This'll really help with tuition.

Where'd you go to school?

Cal. How about you?

- Sonoma State.
- Good school?

Ample parking.

You sure you're okay with
us taking all of this?

Yeah, I'm sure.

- And another thing!
- Buckle up.

I never even finished high school,

and she put you through law school?!

I put me through law school.

I put me through college,
I put me through everything.

She gave me nothing.

That's how I feel about you.

Everything I accomplished
was in spite of her.

Now I know you had it hard,
but believe me,

it was no picnic
being raised by Shirley.

- Abandoned.
- Black.

- Woman.
- Gay.

I think he wins.

My dad left, and every time
she looked at me,

I was just a reminder.

- Oh, that's so sad.
- What about my story?

It's sad, too. I've just heard it a lot.

You wish you had her.

I couldn't wait to get away from her.

And now I want to get away from you.

Christy, I wish you nothing but success.

And she'll have it,
'cause she had a mother

who loved her and took care of her!

- Really?
- Yeah, yeah. He doesn't know.

I am so sorry I dragged you there.

I thought you'd get
closure with your mom,

and now it's just opener.

More open?

Oh, come on.

Just give me a dirty look
so I know you still love me.

- It's not your fault.
- I know.

I was just making noise
'cause the radio doesn't work.

This is my life.

I get knocked around,
kicked in the teeth, and then,

When I finally get good
news, like my mother's dead,

boom, I get kicked in the teeth again.

That's a funny line.

I'm gonna steal it when you die.

Enjoy it, 'cause I got
nothing else to leave you.

Oh, stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Everybody's life is hard.

Oh, not my long-lost brother.

He apparently made something of himself.

Hey, don't discount
what you've achieved.

I'm 52 years old, and I
manage an apartment building.

You're sticking with 52, huh?

There's the dirty look.

Mom, we're all doing the best we can.

There's no point in comparing
yourself to other people.

Thank you.

Especially a super successful attorney

who overcame poverty
and racial prejudice.

Oh, you do still love me!

I still can't believe
Bonnie has a brother.

I know. It's like finding
out there was a Jerry Hitler.

How's she handling it?

You know her.

- Oh, you poor thing.
- Sorry.

Thanks.

Is she coming to the meeting?

No. She's too busy having a meeting

with all the angry voices in her head.

Last count, there were
seven, and maybe a dog.

Yeah, well, she needs to come.

- You tell her.
- Maybe I will.

Just be sure to let her smell
your hand before you pet her.

As the Sun Sets.

This portion brought to you today

by Brim Decaffeinated Coffee.

Fill your cup to the rim
with the richness of Brim.

And Lady Whisper Body Spray.

Because... well... you know.

What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?
- Why aren't you at the meeting?

I'm not at the meeting 'cause
you're not at the meeting.

You want to play 20 Questions, or
are you gonna invite me in?

Fine. I just don't want to
talk about my mother.

You got it.

You know, I had a dead
mom I was mad at, too.

For God's sake.

What? I'm talking about my mother.

I see. So this is where we
make my problem about you.

Oh, we'll get there.

But since you brought it up,
what exactly is your problem?

Seriously?

My mother threw me
into the foster system,

but chose to raise a son.

Okay. How is that a problem?

Are you trying to piss me off?

I'm just saying, that's something

that happened a long time ago.

It's only a problem
now if you make it one.

I didn't think I could hate that woman

any more than I already did.

Can I tell you something
Marjorie told me?

Ugh. Let me guess.

Pray? Go to a meeting?
Pray at a meeting?

Do the hokey pokey,
turn yourself around?

She told me to write my mother
a letter and tell her everything

I didn't get a chance to
tell her when she was alive.

And where would I mail this letter?

Do you happen to know
the zip code for hell?

You go to her grave,
and you just read it.

Wow. That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard.

Yeah, well, I thought so,
too, but... it really helped.

And I had a nice weekend
in South Carolina.

Bought an antique samovar.

I don't know what that is.

Is that a person? A sandwich?

Make all the jokes you want,

but instead of hating my
mom day in and day out,

now the anger just
flares up occasionally.

Like herpes?

I wouldn't know.

But yes.

Okay, let's do this.

“Dear Mom,

“I have hated you my whole life.

“What kind of person
abandons a four-year-old child?

“I wasn't a baby, you knew me.

“We sang songs together.

“And then I spent... the
rest of my life thinking

“I must've done something
wrong, or you would have wanted me.

“Do you know what
that does to a person?

“I drank... because of you.

“I almost lost my
child because of you.

“I went to jail because of you.

Because of you, because
of you, because of you.”

I can't keep doing this.

You have been the
great excuse of my life.

I blamed you for everything.

It's all on you.

God.

I can't believe I'm
gonna say this, but...

... I'm sorry.

I don't like you... I
don't have to like you...

But you're not responsible for my life.

I am responsible for my life.

There.

You're off the hook.

Rest in peace.

“Dear Mom, for as long

“as I can remember, you
were never there for me.

You let me down so..”"

What's going on?

Shh. Lay down. Just go with it.

What are you doing?

I was inspired by what you did,

and I realized I still have
so much anger towards you,

I thought I should get some of it out.

Wait. You're doing your
dead mom letter now?

Yeah. I was in the mood, nothing on TV.

Eh, knock yourself out.

It might help if you crossed your arms.

Like this?

Perfect. And breathe shallow.

Nice.

“You let me down so many times,

and I learned not to trust.."

- Roar!
- That's going in the letter!

-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --