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1
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Previously on bunheads...
2
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I think I forgot to finish high school.
3
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I'm a dropout. Not even a dropout...
4
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Dropping out implies action.
5
00:00:05,576 --> 00:00:07,679
I just... didn't finish.
6
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My dad and faye mendelson
set the wedding location.
7
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Fun.
It's the same place he married my mom.
8
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No way.
9
00:00:13,653 --> 00:00:16,084
The day I lost my husband
was the worst day of my life.
10
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Of course I lost him to the divorcee
in the jeggings across the street.
11
00:00:19,710 --> 00:00:21,317
So what's up with Charlie?
What do you mean?
12
00:00:21,358 --> 00:00:23,336
What did he do to make her dump him?
13
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,849
Nothing. He was totally smitten.
14
00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:28,528
Here's to being dumb.
15
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I have a masters in oceanography.
16
00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:32,526
So they let high school dropouts get phds?
17
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I didn't say I was a high school dropout.
18
00:00:34,337 --> 00:00:36,440
I'm guessing that you and
me tonight, we're not...
19
00:00:36,563 --> 00:00:38,089
No. Not tonight.
20
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,654
What did you say to him?
Maybe you can unsay it.
21
00:00:39,736 --> 00:00:41,936
In a better outfit.
Did he say something bad to you?
22
00:00:44,434 --> 00:00:45,753
Saw your moves.
23
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,153
Bartender, the girl.
24
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I think you might dig it.
25
00:00:51,645 --> 00:00:54,035
Five, six, seven, eight.
26
00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:02,688
Stop.
27
00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:06,231
Everyone, just stop.
28
00:01:06,396 --> 00:01:09,528
You just killed baryshnikov.
29
00:01:11,712 --> 00:01:13,361
Well, would you mind
showing us the combination
30
00:01:13,442 --> 00:01:14,473
again, Jordan?
31
00:01:14,514 --> 00:01:15,668
Oh, sure.
32
00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:17,234
What have I got but loads of time
33
00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,840
and Sincere enthusiasm
34
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to show you the same freaking thing
35
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over and over again?
36
00:01:22,508 --> 00:01:23,703
Move.
37
00:01:37,383 --> 00:01:38,538
Do that.
38
00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:44,553
They kill baryshnikov again?
39
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Yep.
40
00:01:45,955 --> 00:01:47,726
I just need to do something
on the computer here.
41
00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:50,198
I'll be super quick. Quiet as a mouse.
42
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From now on, Jordan, sir.
43
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Let's try it again, everyone.
44
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,428
Five, six, seven, eight.
45
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Sharper, rayray.
46
00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:05,651
Cleaner, Ginny. Cleaner.
47
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Be smaller, boo.
48
00:02:07,305 --> 00:02:09,482
Smaller?
Don't talk back.
49
00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:12,022
Matisse, stop. Stop!
50
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Focus, okay.
51
00:02:13,594 --> 00:02:14,885
Without focus, your life
is gonna be jumping
52
00:02:15,087 --> 00:02:16,619
from alcoholic boyfriend to another.
53
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,111
Is that what you want?
54
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I don't think so.
55
00:02:19,885 --> 00:02:21,256
Hey, Jordan, let's take five here.
56
00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:22,656
They look like they need a break.
57
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When don't they? Take five.
58
00:02:25,652 --> 00:02:27,224
Jordan, your group is wilting here.
59
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And the kids in the corner,
60
00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:29,321
what's up with them?
61
00:02:29,401 --> 00:02:30,450
They wanted to stretch before class.
62
00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:31,377
I mean, come on.
63
00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:32,547
"Be smaller."
64
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What a jerk.
65
00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,047
I hate him so much.
66
00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:36,094
Me too.
67
00:02:36,135 --> 00:02:37,506
But I'm also in love with him.
68
00:02:37,627 --> 00:02:38,554
Me too.
69
00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:40,168
But not anymore.
Same here.
70
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,861
He's so insane today.
He hasn't even noticed
71
00:02:41,982 --> 00:02:43,352
that Melanie isn't here.
Why isn't she here?
72
00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:44,764
He's looking.
73
00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:45,812
They're being babied around.
Absolutely not.
74
00:02:46,054 --> 00:02:46,942
You're not challenging them enough.
75
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You can see it in their dancing,
76
00:02:48,473 --> 00:02:49,361
their barre work, their legs,
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their posture.
Jordan.
78
00:02:50,731 --> 00:02:52,211
Everything they do, it's not correct.
79
00:02:52,345 --> 00:02:54,764
We're talking a break.
We're not doing anything wrong.
80
00:02:54,805 --> 00:02:56,981
Bastard's gotten into my head.
81
00:02:56,982 --> 00:02:58,958
Sasha's awol too, by the way.
82
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,127
Well, I know where she is.
83
00:03:00,328 --> 00:03:01,458
Apartment hunting, and she found one.
84
00:03:01,619 --> 00:03:03,299
Really?
In that building her aunt owns.
85
00:03:03,353 --> 00:03:04,926
She moves in next week.
Who's she living with?
86
00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:05,853
No one. It's just her.
87
00:03:05,974 --> 00:03:07,063
Her own apartment?
88
00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,119
I used to dream about
getting married to Jordan
89
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,054
and living in our own apartment.
90
00:03:11,095 --> 00:03:12,786
Kissing him on the cheek
when he comes home,
91
00:03:12,787 --> 00:03:14,643
and making dinner for him every night.
92
00:03:14,764 --> 00:03:16,497
But not anymore.
Same here.
93
00:03:16,498 --> 00:03:18,070
He's been a jerk forever, Matisse.
94
00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:19,563
Are you just catching up?
95
00:03:19,603 --> 00:03:22,020
Boo, that's your phone.
96
00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,996
Let's not get into my background.
None of them are me.
97
00:03:23,997 --> 00:03:25,157
They don't want to be you.
98
00:03:25,365 --> 00:03:26,940
Who wouldn't want to be me?
99
00:03:27,147 --> 00:03:28,804
Mom, hey, I'm at class so make it quick.
100
00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:30,834
The TV fell over?
101
00:03:30,958 --> 00:03:33,444
Did it fall on anyone?
102
00:03:33,568 --> 00:03:35,266
How can you not be sure?
103
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,758
Better not let him see you.
104
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,001
I know you can do that.
I know you can do it.
105
00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,534
I know you can do it.
I know you can do it.
106
00:03:39,617 --> 00:03:40,617
Please stop doing that!
107
00:03:40,694 --> 00:03:42,103
So just Lonnie is missing?
108
00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:43,677
Well, do you see any parts of Lonnie
109
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,209
sticking out from under the TV?
110
00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,992
Yeah, I'll wait.
111
00:03:47,074 --> 00:03:48,483
Uh, boo?
112
00:03:48,648 --> 00:03:50,140
So he's there. Good.
113
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Good. This is good.
114
00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:54,573
Boo.
115
00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,313
Were you talking on your phone?
116
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,343
No.
117
00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:01,202
Wait, what is that? Is that screaming?
118
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,858
It's Grant and Dominik.
They're locked in the dressing room.
119
00:04:02,983 --> 00:04:04,848
Why?
They know why.
120
00:04:04,972 --> 00:04:06,256
I'll be right back.
121
00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:08,161
Gather around. Next step.
122
00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:13,962
Do that.
123
00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:46,154
Bunheads 1x14 the astronaut and the
ballerina original air date January 28, 2013
124
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sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.Addic7ed.Com
125
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go!
126
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Pick up your feet. Go go go go.
127
00:05:00,322 --> 00:05:01,854
Bend those knees.
128
00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:04,382
It's not ballet class, come on! Let's go.
129
00:05:04,465 --> 00:05:06,121
Keep the line in the middle.
130
00:05:06,246 --> 00:05:07,846
I don't want us straggling in the front.
131
00:05:07,904 --> 00:05:09,560
Keep it going.
132
00:05:09,602 --> 00:05:13,165
Go go go!
133
00:05:13,248 --> 00:05:14,532
All right, pick up your feet.
134
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Come on, low. Derby stance.
135
00:05:16,935 --> 00:05:18,344
Nice feet, lolita.
136
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Come on.
137
00:05:23,316 --> 00:05:24,889
All right.
138
00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:28,942
You've been watching for two days,
139
00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,317
you want to give it a shot?
140
00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,774
Sure.
141
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,853
You're late.
So is everyone else.
142
00:05:45,936 --> 00:05:47,259
They called. You didn't.
143
00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:49,167
I was at ballet. Michelle kept us over.
144
00:05:49,291 --> 00:05:50,531
Then I'll complain to Michelle.
145
00:05:50,576 --> 00:05:52,144
She didn't do anything wrong,
146
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,383
so don't call her.
147
00:05:53,507 --> 00:05:56,480
Here. Something to entertain
you until they come.
148
00:05:56,603 --> 00:05:58,337
Dad...
Don't say it's too early.
149
00:05:58,461 --> 00:06:00,236
I totally is.
I'm barely into my junior year.
150
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,077
We know people who planned
their kids' college
151
00:06:02,135 --> 00:06:04,035
at kindergarten.
That's a sickness.
152
00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:05,686
You're supposed to leave your keys.
153
00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:07,336
I parked my own car.
154
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,359
After running it through the valet area.
155
00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:10,843
Is that why all those Chinese guys
156
00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:12,208
were staring at me?
157
00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:14,066
Hey, Claire.
Hi, guys.
158
00:06:14,189 --> 00:06:15,593
Hey, Ginny.
Hi, Mr. segal.
159
00:06:15,635 --> 00:06:16,667
Where's Alice?
160
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:17,822
She's down for the count.
161
00:06:17,864 --> 00:06:19,144
She's got this awful cold.
162
00:06:19,185 --> 00:06:21,167
Mom has a cold?
163
00:06:21,249 --> 00:06:23,436
Can I get you something to drink, Claire?
164
00:06:23,437 --> 00:06:25,171
I'd love a drink.
165
00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:26,699
Can you do a gay marine?
166
00:06:26,822 --> 00:06:29,176
You just muddle some mint
leaves and some lime
167
00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:30,866
with cane sugar and orange liqueur
168
00:06:30,867 --> 00:06:32,726
and then you add some ice and some rum
169
00:06:32,849 --> 00:06:34,295
and you top it all with apple juice.
170
00:06:34,376 --> 00:06:35,324
It's a Chinese restaurant, mom.
171
00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:36,731
They don't do gay marines.
172
00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,331
White wine is okay, I guess.
173
00:06:39,454 --> 00:06:40,982
I'll have whatever you have on tap.
174
00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:43,005
White wine is actually great.
175
00:06:43,212 --> 00:06:45,028
You're in a chipper mood, Claire.
176
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I am.
177
00:06:46,349 --> 00:06:47,711
Because...
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00:06:47,835 --> 00:06:50,931
I am not gonna let it get me down.
179
00:06:51,055 --> 00:06:52,458
Let what get you down?
180
00:06:52,459 --> 00:06:54,688
Here we go.
181
00:06:54,812 --> 00:06:57,867
Hello, Ginny's father
is marrying faye mendelson
182
00:06:57,991 --> 00:06:58,941
in less than a week.
183
00:06:58,982 --> 00:07:00,344
Yeah, we're going.
184
00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:01,664
You are?
185
00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,067
If that's okay?
186
00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:05,091
Oh, of course it is.
187
00:07:05,215 --> 00:07:06,289
I want you to go, Dougie,
188
00:07:06,371 --> 00:07:07,775
really I do.
189
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,549
So how's the realestate business
190
00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:10,830
treating you these days, Claire?
191
00:07:10,871 --> 00:07:12,893
I hear it's, you know...
Have you seen...
192
00:07:12,894 --> 00:07:16,279
That insane wedding blog that they have?
193
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,971
No, not me.
Yes, I have. Many times.
194
00:07:18,095 --> 00:07:20,903
Faye mendelson is chronicling
their whole stupid life
195
00:07:20,944 --> 00:07:22,079
on this blog
196
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,064
with photographs and diary entries.
197
00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,130
Gil is surfing now
198
00:07:26,252 --> 00:07:28,885
and the man is 45.
199
00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:30,506
He's starting to surf.
200
00:07:30,546 --> 00:07:31,600
He likes it, mom.
201
00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:32,923
And all those photos of faye
202
00:07:32,977 --> 00:07:34,598
cuddling her dog like that,
203
00:07:34,679 --> 00:07:37,473
it's just bestial. Call the spca.
204
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,513
What's so funny?
205
00:07:40,635 --> 00:07:43,431
Nothing. I guess.
206
00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:45,943
Mom. You're being busted
by the valet police.
207
00:07:46,145 --> 00:07:47,482
Bring 'em on.
208
00:07:47,563 --> 00:07:48,982
Come on, Claire.
Let's go give them your keys
209
00:07:49,184 --> 00:07:51,494
before this becomes
an international incident.
210
00:07:51,615 --> 00:07:53,398
All right.
211
00:07:53,479 --> 00:07:54,977
You're really going
to the wedding, Dougie?
212
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,760
I mean, I know you knew him first,
213
00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:58,097
but he's changed so much.
214
00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,204
Wow.
She's on that blog night and day
215
00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:02,027
commenting anonymously.
216
00:08:02,189 --> 00:08:03,322
The website blocks dirty words,
217
00:08:03,323 --> 00:08:04,723
or there would be some saucy things
218
00:08:04,823 --> 00:08:06,808
written about those dogs. Believe me.
219
00:08:06,889 --> 00:08:08,875
Oh, check this out.
220
00:08:08,916 --> 00:08:10,252
What is that? A box?
221
00:08:10,414 --> 00:08:11,670
That's my bridesmaid dress.
222
00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,390
This has got to be a mistake.
It's not.
223
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,912
It's a giant rectangle, why?
224
00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:16,856
Because every time I go to
my dad and faye's place,
225
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,275
faye stares at my boobs.
226
00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:19,774
She told my dad that they remind her
227
00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:21,556
of my mom's boobs and she
doesn't want to be reminded
228
00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:22,957
of my mom's boobs at the wedding.
229
00:08:23,015 --> 00:08:24,554
So she's forcing me to wear a dress
230
00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:25,836
shaped like a shower curtain.
231
00:08:25,932 --> 00:08:27,310
Cruel and unusual.
232
00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:29,173
I don't want to look at it anymore.
233
00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,592
So where have you been?
234
00:08:30,673 --> 00:08:31,604
What do you mean?
235
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,536
I mean where have you been?
236
00:08:32,658 --> 00:08:33,550
I never see you anymore.
237
00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:35,089
I see you every day at school.
238
00:08:35,170 --> 00:08:36,466
You're skipping ballet.
You don't answer my texts.
239
00:08:36,588 --> 00:08:37,966
Dad's got me touring colleges.
240
00:08:38,087 --> 00:08:39,708
Really?
We just got back from driving around
241
00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:40,883
u.C. Santa Barbara.
242
00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:42,260
Really?
Yeah.
243
00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:43,880
Okay, well at least answer my texts.
244
00:08:43,921 --> 00:08:44,950
Some of them are even important.
245
00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:46,144
I will. I promise.
246
00:08:46,145 --> 00:08:48,119
Here.
247
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,272
While you have a shot.
248
00:08:49,313 --> 00:08:50,507
Good thinking.
249
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,447
Of all the gin joints in all the towns
250
00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:08,287
in all the world,
she has to walk into mine.
251
00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:10,139
"Casablanca."
252
00:09:10,262 --> 00:09:11,579
I know "Casablanca".
253
00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:13,473
Okay.
I've seen "Casablanca."
254
00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:15,324
I can spell Casablanca.
255
00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:16,517
I've been to Casablanca.
256
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,760
I was just trying to be cute.
257
00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:18,987
I thought "hey there" would be boring
258
00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:20,016
so I thought I'd throw in a...
259
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,280
Never mind. Starting again.
260
00:09:22,486 --> 00:09:24,543
Hey there.
Hey.
261
00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:25,943
For me?
Yep.
262
00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:27,219
Guilt gift?
Yep.
263
00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:28,493
I like the wrapping paper.
264
00:09:28,494 --> 00:09:29,894
It's my 2004 tax return.
265
00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:31,129
Nice.
266
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,297
"Finding Nemo."
267
00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:35,491
See? It's the perfect thing for us
268
00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,397
'cause you're an expert on the ocean,
269
00:09:36,602 --> 00:09:37,714
and I like talking fish.
270
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,442
Very nice. Thank you.
271
00:09:40,636 --> 00:09:41,636
Sorry for what I said.
272
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,353
No worries.
273
00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:45,081
I talk, therefore I am.
274
00:09:45,122 --> 00:09:46,644
Not always a bad thing.
275
00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:48,743
Can I buy you a drink?
276
00:09:48,744 --> 00:09:50,884
Yes, you can.
277
00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,530
Something with bourbon and an umbrella.
278
00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:55,000
What are they celebrating?
279
00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:55,947
Tuesday.
280
00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,840
My favorite holiday.
281
00:09:57,922 --> 00:09:59,691
So guess what I did?
Safer not to.
282
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,215
I went online and read your thesis.
283
00:10:01,256 --> 00:10:03,849
You're kidding.
No.
284
00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,001
I'm impressed.
285
00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:06,193
Well, don't be. I only understood
286
00:10:06,194 --> 00:10:07,470
about 1/10 of it. Plankton.
287
00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:09,035
I got that. And your name.
288
00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:10,516
And I think you mentioned orca
289
00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,833
and I did see that movie.
290
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:13,150
That's probably less than 1/10, right?
291
00:10:13,232 --> 00:10:14,425
Did I mention I didn't finish high school?
292
00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:16,050
Points for trying.
293
00:10:18,239 --> 00:10:20,144
Guess that alcohol buzz
is starting to wear off.
294
00:10:20,225 --> 00:10:22,210
Yep. Now they all get tired.
295
00:10:22,211 --> 00:10:24,035
And the one on the diet
eats every cold French fry
296
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,212
she can find.
297
00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:26,225
They'll probably leave soon.
298
00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:27,685
And then you'll be all alone.
299
00:10:27,887 --> 00:10:29,265
Might as well just close.
300
00:10:29,468 --> 00:10:31,131
With the whole night ahead of you?
301
00:10:31,253 --> 00:10:32,549
How will you fill the time?
302
00:10:34,738 --> 00:10:36,115
And then I got into this whole thing
303
00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:37,412
with the lady I was understudying
304
00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:38,995
'cause I started dating her husband.
305
00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:41,468
They were separated... well,
he said they were separated,
306
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:42,806
but I should have known
something was weird
307
00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:44,428
when he never let me
come over to his house.
308
00:10:44,468 --> 00:10:47,144
I had to go to the corner
of sixth and 53rd
309
00:10:47,225 --> 00:10:48,765
and get in line at this halal cart
310
00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,225
and I wasn't supposed to move
311
00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:51,968
till he showed up and
dropped a note in my purse
312
00:10:52,009 --> 00:10:53,833
telling me which hotel to meet him at.
313
00:10:53,955 --> 00:10:55,334
And since I didn't have
a phone number for him,
314
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,874
if he was late, I just ordered,
315
00:10:56,995 --> 00:10:58,617
and if he still didn't show I had to eat
316
00:10:58,698 --> 00:11:00,604
'cause otherwise I'm weird. Whatever.
317
00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:02,104
The point is she finally found out,
318
00:11:02,185 --> 00:11:03,482
got mad and then never missed a show
319
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,779
so I never got to go on.
320
00:11:04,982 --> 00:11:06,928
Plus I smelled like garlic
sauce the entire run.
321
00:11:06,968 --> 00:11:08,590
That is not a true story.
322
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:09,642
Okay, fine, you're right.
323
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,022
It was a Mr. softee truck.
324
00:11:11,144 --> 00:11:12,563
Scotty?
325
00:11:12,766 --> 00:11:14,712
You have flower pots?
Who gave you flower pots?
326
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:15,766
What are you doing here?
327
00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:16,901
You kill flower pots.
328
00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:18,197
The flowers and the pots. You walk by
329
00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,820
and they fling themselves off windowsills.
330
00:11:19,861 --> 00:11:21,725
I can't believe this.
Are you a lounge singer now?
331
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,428
Long stories to have beer by.
332
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,293
Wow, I just...
333
00:11:25,374 --> 00:11:27,280
Oh, sorry. This is my brother Scotty.
334
00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:28,495
Scotty, this is godot.
335
00:11:28,536 --> 00:11:29,955
Well, hello, young man.
336
00:11:30,118 --> 00:11:31,212
I'm so glad to see you.
337
00:11:31,293 --> 00:11:32,672
Come in, come in.
338
00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:34,699
Oh boy, I...
339
00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,400
It's okay. Another night.
340
00:11:36,401 --> 00:11:37,496
It's good to meet you.
341
00:11:37,699 --> 00:11:38,996
You too.
342
00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:41,834
Seriously? Even Mrs. Robinson's
343
00:11:41,874 --> 00:11:42,766
giving you a weird look right now.
344
00:11:42,807 --> 00:11:44,185
I thought you were in Madison.
345
00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,508
Well, a funny thing happened
on the way to Madison.
346
00:11:47,393 --> 00:11:49,098
So... Madison.
347
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,763
Right. So I was on my way to Madison
348
00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,142
and I stopped at this diner
349
00:11:52,183 --> 00:11:53,685
and there was a hostess.
350
00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:54,903
Not even a waitress?
351
00:11:55,065 --> 00:11:56,446
A hostess is a step up from a waitress.
352
00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:57,826
No.
353
00:11:57,947 --> 00:11:59,124
You're a waitress first
and then a hostess.
354
00:11:59,246 --> 00:12:00,383
It's a promotion.
Not at all.
355
00:12:00,424 --> 00:12:01,680
Well, she was a redhead
356
00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:02,817
so one thing led to another.
357
00:12:02,818 --> 00:12:03,996
Oh no. You got married again?
358
00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:06,796
Never made it out of tupelo.
Scotty! I know, I know.
359
00:12:06,918 --> 00:12:08,055
How many marriages does this make?
360
00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:09,679
Four?
You're asking me?
361
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,789
No, four. This makes four.
362
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:12,926
Oh my god.
363
00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:14,672
But you know, she was different.
364
00:12:14,712 --> 00:12:16,539
How?
She spoke very little English.
365
00:12:16,742 --> 00:12:17,797
Perfect.
366
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,543
But she had these eyes that were epic.
367
00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:21,289
I felt if I could just
stare in this woman's eyes
368
00:12:21,329 --> 00:12:22,709
for the rest of my life,
369
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:24,414
I would be a very happy man.
370
00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:26,282
So what happened? Ooh, cake.
371
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,271
Well, the first month was great.
372
00:12:28,392 --> 00:12:29,772
And then we started fighting,
373
00:12:29,853 --> 00:12:31,072
and then we got engaged,
374
00:12:31,153 --> 00:12:32,289
then we fought some more,
375
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:33,507
and then I found out she wore
376
00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:34,846
colored contact lenses.
377
00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,510
That's when I realized, big mistake.
378
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:37,891
What else was there to think?
379
00:12:38,013 --> 00:12:39,271
Next thing I know,
it's the day of the wedding
380
00:12:39,311 --> 00:12:40,814
I'm standing at the altar in my rented tux
381
00:12:40,895 --> 00:12:41,950
and she's hurtling down the aisle
382
00:12:42,072 --> 00:12:43,493
like a giant crinoline comet,
383
00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:44,507
and I'm thinking to myself,
384
00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,131
"I have got to get out of this."
385
00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:47,268
So you bolted.
Yeah.
386
00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,054
When?
Right after "ymca."
387
00:12:49,175 --> 00:12:50,556
Well, you don't want to miss that.
388
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,477
So I wrote her a note,
I grabbed you some cake,
389
00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:54,006
and I exited stage left.
390
00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:55,367
Can I give you a piece of advice?
391
00:12:55,427 --> 00:12:56,482
Sure.
392
00:12:56,604 --> 00:12:58,249
If you keep getting engaged
to perfect strangers
393
00:12:58,372 --> 00:12:59,687
and then bailing on the wedding night,
394
00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:01,413
you have to buy a tux.
395
00:13:01,618 --> 00:13:02,858
I keep marrying the wrong girl.
396
00:13:02,934 --> 00:13:04,331
You keep marrying mom.
397
00:13:04,372 --> 00:13:05,729
Well, that's not too
disturbing of a statement.
398
00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:07,610
Well, if the creepy
psychological profile fits.
399
00:13:08,729 --> 00:13:10,127
You mind if I crash here for a few days?
400
00:13:10,209 --> 00:13:11,442
Couch is all yours.
401
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,593
Thanks.
402
00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:15,142
Well, so, this is the new pad.
403
00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:16,950
It's not what I pictured at all.
404
00:13:17,032 --> 00:13:18,101
No? What'd you picture?
405
00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:20,238
Something less decorated
and without a roof.
406
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,389
You're hilarious.
407
00:13:21,512 --> 00:13:22,540
How long do you plan to be here?
408
00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:23,855
Why, you gonna have your mail forwarded?
409
00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:25,376
Just asking.
410
00:13:25,499 --> 00:13:27,388
How attached are you to your toothbrush?
411
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:29,075
There's an extra one under the sink.
412
00:13:29,157 --> 00:13:32,363
I don't know what problem
you had with this girl,
413
00:13:32,569 --> 00:13:34,089
but boy, could she pick a cake.
414
00:13:43,297 --> 00:13:45,269
I know. I can't imagine what
that must have felt like.
415
00:13:45,352 --> 00:13:46,584
Hey, I grew up with him.
416
00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,386
No one knows how flaky
he is better than me.
417
00:13:48,435 --> 00:13:50,448
Hey, what'd you do to the coffee guy?
He hates your guts.
418
00:13:50,654 --> 00:13:52,462
Yes, absolutely. Send it all c.O.D.
419
00:13:52,668 --> 00:13:54,641
Toss it in a box,
tape it up and ship it off.
420
00:13:54,682 --> 00:13:56,449
Throw some bricks in
'cause they charge by weight.
421
00:13:56,572 --> 00:13:57,600
What are you doing?
422
00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:58,915
Getting your stuff.
423
00:13:58,916 --> 00:13:59,984
Oh good.
424
00:14:00,066 --> 00:14:01,710
Oh, I'd rip that letter up.
425
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:03,847
I mean, seriously, it's not even
remotely heartfelt or poetic.
426
00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,944
And it just makes him seem way
smarter than he is, trust me.
427
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,218
Hey, get my purple sweater back.
428
00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:08,657
Hold on a second, Mandy.
429
00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:10,342
You have a purple sweater?
It's a very nice purple.
430
00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:11,698
Does Mandy know you're gay?
431
00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,014
Michelle.
It might make her feel better.
432
00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,328
Just get the sweater.
433
00:14:14,411 --> 00:14:16,179
Mandy, there's a purple sweater?
434
00:14:16,301 --> 00:14:17,617
Oh really?
435
00:14:17,699 --> 00:14:18,699
She says it's hers.
436
00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:19,768
It is not hers.
437
00:14:19,918 --> 00:14:21,727
I believe her.
Great.
438
00:14:21,809 --> 00:14:22,969
Oh no no. I'm here. I'm here.
439
00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:24,191
I'm not going anywhere, Mandy.
440
00:14:24,192 --> 00:14:25,344
I'm not my brother.
441
00:14:25,509 --> 00:14:26,988
I'm gonna check out the rest of the town.
442
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,589
What stores have you not alienated yet?
443
00:14:28,672 --> 00:14:30,068
No, how bad was the sex, Mandy?
444
00:14:30,273 --> 00:14:31,710
Oh, come on.
She hung up a minute ago.
445
00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,107
Oh, thank god.
446
00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,666
A purple sweater?
It's more like lavender.
447
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,637
So not better.
448
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,527
All right, everyone. Places at the barre.
449
00:14:39,594 --> 00:14:40,785
Port de bras.
450
00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:43,905
One. Open, two.
451
00:14:43,946 --> 00:14:45,917
And Demi plie.
452
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,889
And stretch.
453
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,695
And Demi plie.
454
00:14:49,777 --> 00:14:50,844
I'm here.
455
00:14:50,845 --> 00:14:52,363
Keep moving, boys. Keep moving.
456
00:14:52,364 --> 00:14:53,923
I'm so sorry. So so sorry.
457
00:14:53,924 --> 00:14:54,992
I am just gonna set them up here.
458
00:14:55,074 --> 00:14:56,387
Over here, guys.
459
00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:57,456
Oh, what's this?
460
00:14:57,538 --> 00:14:59,056
Beaver.
461
00:14:59,057 --> 00:15:00,618
Beaver.
462
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,588
Beaver. Beaver.
463
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:03,780
Beaver.
464
00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:04,929
His name's beaver?
465
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:06,243
Beaver.
466
00:15:06,326 --> 00:15:08,008
What did I say about ignoring me?
467
00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,774
You're not my mom.
468
00:15:09,856 --> 00:15:11,416
Okay, but right now I am your mom.
469
00:15:11,498 --> 00:15:12,566
Okay? Now come on.
470
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:13,881
His name's beaver?
Sorry, guys.
471
00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:15,769
Hugely embarrassed. So so sorry.
472
00:15:15,852 --> 00:15:17,412
Where are the legos?
473
00:15:17,494 --> 00:15:19,752
They're in the bag.
This isn't all of them.
474
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,037
I want to make a castle.
Well, make a condo. That's fun too.
475
00:15:23,161 --> 00:15:24,310
His name's beaver?
476
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:26,199
Yes, the kid's name is beaver.
477
00:15:26,323 --> 00:15:27,513
Deal.
Boo.
478
00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,114
I'm sorry.
479
00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:30,634
Carl was supposed to
take them off my hands,
480
00:15:30,675 --> 00:15:32,810
but then he got held up at work
and it was either skip ballet
481
00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,232
or bring them here.
Okay, this is a one time thing, right?
482
00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:36,998
A one time thing. I promise.
483
00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:38,682
And Carl will be here
any minute to take them.
484
00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:41,105
Alright, everyone. Let's continue.
485
00:15:41,146 --> 00:15:42,911
Demi plie.
486
00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,307
And stretch.
487
00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:45,826
And Demi plie.
488
00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:47,592
Chris, nose!
489
00:15:47,674 --> 00:15:49,604
What? What happened? I want
that out of your nose right now, young man.
490
00:15:49,809 --> 00:15:51,698
You do not know whose nose that's been in.
491
00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:53,423
I'm sorry.
492
00:15:53,464 --> 00:15:55,689
And Demi plie.
493
00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:57,009
And stretch.
494
00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:58,411
And Demi plie
495
00:15:58,535 --> 00:15:59,934
ooh, purple. Beaver
496
00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:01,215
your hand is down your pants again.
497
00:16:01,256 --> 00:16:02,987
Nobody wants to see that.
498
00:16:03,111 --> 00:16:04,428
Sorry.
499
00:16:04,429 --> 00:16:05,955
I am so sorry if you guys saw that.
500
00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:08,182
I am so, so sorry.
501
00:16:08,305 --> 00:16:10,573
And Demi plie.
502
00:16:10,696 --> 00:16:11,696
And stretch.
503
00:16:11,768 --> 00:16:12,920
I got them.
504
00:16:12,921 --> 00:16:13,921
I got them, Michelle.
505
00:16:14,077 --> 00:16:15,520
Okay, guys?
506
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,251
Get in the car.
We're going back to the house.
507
00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:19,188
Aw, I like it here.
So do I,
508
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:20,467
but we're in the way.
509
00:16:20,591 --> 00:16:21,791
So we're going to the car now.
510
00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:23,394
No!
Okay, guys.
511
00:16:23,518 --> 00:16:25,084
Listen, if you get in my car,
512
00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:26,445
I'll give you candy.
513
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,887
Stranger danger!
514
00:16:28,011 --> 00:16:29,535
He's not a stranger, beaver.
515
00:16:29,536 --> 00:16:30,608
He's your uncle Carl.
516
00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:31,691
Now get in the car.
517
00:16:31,762 --> 00:16:33,165
Come on.
518
00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:36,463
Don't touch me.
519
00:16:37,823 --> 00:16:39,183
Okay, people, let's get this class
520
00:16:39,225 --> 00:16:41,699
moving again. Come on.
521
00:16:41,904 --> 00:16:43,224
You heard the woman.
522
00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,780
And Demi plie.
523
00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:47,470
And stretch.
524
00:16:47,552 --> 00:16:49,737
And Demi plie.
525
00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:51,139
And stretch.
526
00:16:51,222 --> 00:16:53,695
And grand plie.
527
00:16:53,819 --> 00:16:55,801
And stretch.
528
00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:58,314
Eat, mommy.
But I'm off Vicky.
529
00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,467
I wanted Asian food.
530
00:16:59,508 --> 00:17:00,822
Everything's getting cold.
531
00:17:01,027 --> 00:17:03,491
And sticky.
Chris, stop playing with your spoon.
532
00:17:03,614 --> 00:17:04,682
I'm still sticky.
533
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:06,530
What is this and how did
it get all over me?
534
00:17:06,653 --> 00:17:08,419
It's what our lives are now, Carl.
535
00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:09,939
We're sticky and we're tired.
536
00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,129
Adjust.
537
00:17:20,491 --> 00:17:21,723
Those two have kids?
538
00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:23,726
There's nothing else to
do in this town. Come on.
539
00:17:25,214 --> 00:17:26,528
Greetings, seƱorita.
540
00:17:26,651 --> 00:17:28,117
He's talking to me.
I guessed as much.
541
00:17:28,239 --> 00:17:29,339
Hi there. Nice tshirt.
542
00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:30,804
It's my Sunday best.
543
00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:31,863
It's good to see you again, man.
544
00:17:32,026 --> 00:17:33,492
You too. Man.
545
00:17:33,614 --> 00:17:35,568
We'll have... what do you think?
Tequila shots?
546
00:17:35,609 --> 00:17:37,359
It's Christmas morning all over again.
547
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,682
He gets younger every time I see him.
548
00:17:39,763 --> 00:17:40,944
He gets hotter every time I see him.
549
00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:42,695
You disgust me with your carnal ways.
550
00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:45,586
Okay, help me find wife number four.
551
00:17:45,627 --> 00:17:47,052
Five.
Whatever.
552
00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,885
How about blonde pixiecut behind me?
553
00:17:49,007 --> 00:17:50,066
No.
Why?
554
00:17:50,188 --> 00:17:51,654
She's my manicurist.
So?
555
00:17:51,694 --> 00:17:53,321
So if something goes wrong, I'll
have to find another manicurist.
556
00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,952
Or a town with more than one manicurist.
557
00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:56,906
Okay, back table,
558
00:17:56,907 --> 00:17:58,209
brunette with the bangs.
559
00:17:58,291 --> 00:17:59,350
Nyet.
Why?
560
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,651
She's with a guy.
I don't care.
561
00:18:00,652 --> 00:18:01,915
She's the mother of one of my students.
562
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,096
Fine.
563
00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,399
Red beret and leggings?
564
00:18:04,481 --> 00:18:05,987
Bible study teacher.
Moving on.
565
00:18:06,109 --> 00:18:07,533
Ponytail by the planter?
566
00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:09,094
Bagel chip girl at the farmers' market.
567
00:18:09,164 --> 00:18:10,425
Fat broad by the window?
568
00:18:10,466 --> 00:18:11,729
She works with truly, and you can't
569
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:13,113
sleep with truly either.
570
00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:14,498
Why not?
'Cause she's just weird.
571
00:18:14,539 --> 00:18:16,127
Look, if you're gonna block
all my action tonight,
572
00:18:16,249 --> 00:18:17,755
I say you can't sleep
with junior over there.
573
00:18:17,918 --> 00:18:19,301
He's the only bartender I know in town.
574
00:18:19,302 --> 00:18:21,013
If something happens, I won't
be able to get a drink.
575
00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:22,195
Well, I'm not sleeping with him now,
576
00:18:22,398 --> 00:18:23,497
so ha.
Good.
577
00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:24,882
Why good?
578
00:18:25,085 --> 00:18:26,266
Well, he's not your type.
579
00:18:26,388 --> 00:18:28,587
He seems kind of dumb.
580
00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,216
He's not dumb. I'll have you know
581
00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:31,642
he's an oceanographer.
582
00:18:31,764 --> 00:18:32,781
You're kidding. That's a thing?
583
00:18:32,822 --> 00:18:34,533
It's a thing.
584
00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,161
Wow, okay.
585
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,831
To oceanography then.
586
00:18:37,912 --> 00:18:39,216
Hear hear.
587
00:18:42,026 --> 00:18:43,491
Ahh.
588
00:18:45,486 --> 00:18:47,156
Mm.
589
00:18:47,238 --> 00:18:49,111
You are now and will always be
590
00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:50,529
my favorite drinking buddy.
591
00:18:50,732 --> 00:18:51,732
It's good to see you too.
592
00:18:51,786 --> 00:18:52,961
Keep them coming, son.
593
00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:54,906
Tonight, we settle all family business.
594
00:18:54,988 --> 00:18:56,974
And we get to get really really drunk.
595
00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:06,012
Hey, did we pay?
596
00:19:06,053 --> 00:19:07,795
Mmm.
I don't remember if we paid.
597
00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:10,429
You can pay him tomorrow.
598
00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:11,929
In kisses.
599
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:15,050
Sweet, gentle, little oceanography kisses.
600
00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:16,347
I hate running out on a check
601
00:19:16,469 --> 00:19:17,522
when I didn't intend to.
602
00:19:17,644 --> 00:19:18,901
What?
603
00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:20,521
My ukulele.
604
00:19:20,602 --> 00:19:21,454
You found it.
605
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:22,750
Mm.
606
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,332
Oh.
607
00:19:24,493 --> 00:19:26,115
It sounds the same.
608
00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:28,952
Terrible.
Yeah. The same.
609
00:19:29,114 --> 00:19:31,181
Oh man.
610
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,369
This is the only good
gift mom ever got me.
611
00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,112
The only one I ever wanted.
612
00:19:37,787 --> 00:19:38,841
Do you remember
613
00:19:38,963 --> 00:19:41,395
that ancient console record player we had
614
00:19:41,516 --> 00:19:42,516
when we were growing up?
615
00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:43,948
The needle was big and sharp
616
00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:45,244
like a nail.
617
00:19:45,447 --> 00:19:48,810
And the speaker grills smelled
like wood and cigarettes.
618
00:19:48,811 --> 00:19:50,067
I remember you playing
619
00:19:50,108 --> 00:19:53,229
Judy garland's "life is
just a bowl of cherries"
620
00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,417
over and over and over...
621
00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,714
I love that song.
And over and over
622
00:19:56,795 --> 00:20:00,523
and over and over and over and over.
623
00:20:00,524 --> 00:20:01,658
I wonder where that is.
624
00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,564
Mom still has it.
625
00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,509
She still has everything.
626
00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:07,333
My ukulele.
627
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,874
Thank you for finding it.
628
00:20:08,955 --> 00:20:11,062
You're welcome.
629
00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:13,494
Now maybe you can help me find my life.
630
00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:15,804
Mm, I'm gonna need a super big
compass for that one.
631
00:20:15,926 --> 00:20:17,546
Ah, what am I gonna do?
632
00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:19,451
Brush your teeth.
You haven't brushed your teeth.
633
00:20:19,532 --> 00:20:21,154
I always thought when I grew up,
634
00:20:21,276 --> 00:20:22,775
I'd be some kind of big shot.
635
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,963
A fat cat with a big cigar.
636
00:20:25,004 --> 00:20:27,882
Yeah. Bossing people around.
637
00:20:27,963 --> 00:20:29,827
Do something where you wear a uniform.
638
00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:31,488
You'd look really good in a uniform.
639
00:20:31,569 --> 00:20:33,434
I would look good in a uniform.
640
00:20:33,556 --> 00:20:35,775
It's not too late to be an astronaut.
641
00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,337
Or a fireman.
642
00:20:37,419 --> 00:20:38,489
Or a ballerina.
643
00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,585
You were supposed to be a ballerina.
644
00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:42,763
Mmm.
645
00:20:42,969 --> 00:20:45,229
Astronaut, yeah. I'll be an astronaut.
646
00:20:45,435 --> 00:20:46,997
Nice.
647
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,368
And tomorrow we'll figure out
what your life's supposed to be.
648
00:20:52,135 --> 00:20:53,327
Ballerina.
649
00:21:02,247 --> 00:21:03,247
Watch the pivot.
650
00:21:03,316 --> 00:21:04,316
Stripy helmet girl?
651
00:21:04,343 --> 00:21:05,165
She's like your quarterback.
652
00:21:05,206 --> 00:21:06,235
She calls the plays.
653
00:21:06,276 --> 00:21:07,632
Are your pads scratchy?
Very.
654
00:21:07,673 --> 00:21:09,193
They'll loosen up the more you fall.
655
00:21:09,276 --> 00:21:10,468
If I fall.
You're gonna fall.
656
00:21:10,509 --> 00:21:11,865
Right.
So have fun.
657
00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:13,180
Don't be mean.
658
00:21:13,181 --> 00:21:14,578
No pushing, no elbows...
659
00:21:14,702 --> 00:21:16,139
This is a sport with rules.
660
00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,867
Remember it.
Got it. Remember the rules.
661
00:21:17,908 --> 00:21:19,182
You're not wearing that necklace are you?
662
00:21:19,305 --> 00:21:20,128
Why?
You like your head?
663
00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,333
Losing the necklace.
664
00:21:21,401 --> 00:21:23,087
A couple of pointers,
665
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:25,333
bambam McGee.
Look at her wrong, you're going down.
666
00:21:25,512 --> 00:21:26,910
I thought we weren't supposed to be mean.
667
00:21:27,074 --> 00:21:28,924
Groan of arc.
She'll give you some slack for a while,
668
00:21:29,047 --> 00:21:30,856
then she gets rough, aggressive. Be ready.
669
00:21:30,939 --> 00:21:32,212
Oh, a lot of names to remember.
670
00:21:32,377 --> 00:21:34,718
And the twins out there,
scary skate and crashley Olsen,
671
00:21:34,719 --> 00:21:35,994
do not get between them.
672
00:21:36,077 --> 00:21:39,652
They will squeeze you
like a watermelon seed.
673
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:41,502
This is the time half
the girls who sign up
674
00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:42,776
quit, fyi.
675
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,037
I'm not quitting.
676
00:21:45,161 --> 00:21:46,189
I'm ready.
677
00:21:46,353 --> 00:21:47,353
Good.
678
00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:49,271
Are my skates on right?
679
00:21:50,588 --> 00:21:52,107
Only one way to find out.
680
00:22:05,138 --> 00:22:07,028
Hold her. She's right behind us.
681
00:22:07,151 --> 00:22:08,344
Hold her. Hold her.
682
00:22:08,426 --> 00:22:09,494
Right here.
683
00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:20,551
You okay, Mel?
684
00:22:20,552 --> 00:22:22,772
I'm fantastic.
685
00:22:22,895 --> 00:22:25,530
Well, get back out there.
686
00:22:41,189 --> 00:22:42,412
Where the hell have you been?
687
00:22:42,493 --> 00:22:44,044
Just out. Why?
Why?!
688
00:22:44,248 --> 00:22:46,001
This is not a time to go
John gotti on me, Melanie.
689
00:22:46,082 --> 00:22:47,630
This is a time of emergency.
690
00:22:47,631 --> 00:22:49,141
What's this?
Guess.
691
00:22:49,182 --> 00:22:50,404
The bridesmaid's dress.
692
00:22:50,445 --> 00:22:52,035
It's a tank with wings and a rumpus room.
693
00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:53,137
What's it doing here?
694
00:22:53,259 --> 00:22:54,279
It's the only place it's safe.
695
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,461
If my mother found it,
she might chablisup
696
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:56,725
and take a knife to it.
697
00:22:56,848 --> 00:22:57,989
Then you wouldn't have to wear it.
698
00:22:58,030 --> 00:22:58,927
Don't joke.
I wasn't joking.
699
00:22:59,050 --> 00:23:00,477
I have to wear it.
I know.
700
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,985
Now listen.
701
00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:03,535
Why aren't you answering your phone?
702
00:23:03,739 --> 00:23:05,370
Must be off?
Flake city,
703
00:23:05,492 --> 00:23:07,123
I won't have it!
Okay, sorry.
704
00:23:07,205 --> 00:23:08,265
You cannot have your phone off
705
00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:09,468
from now until the wedding.
706
00:23:09,570 --> 00:23:11,161
It's crisis time, get it?
Got it.
707
00:23:11,283 --> 00:23:13,770
Faye mendelson has gone into
a total defensive posture.
708
00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,034
She moved the photo shoot up a week
709
00:23:15,156 --> 00:23:16,462
to keep my mother off the scent.
710
00:23:16,543 --> 00:23:17,601
Aren't you supposed to do the photo shoot
711
00:23:17,602 --> 00:23:18,745
the day of the wedding?
712
00:23:18,908 --> 00:23:20,213
When everyone's already there, yes.
713
00:23:20,294 --> 00:23:21,314
But faye's not taking chances.
714
00:23:21,355 --> 00:23:22,986
Oh, she is going to great expense
715
00:23:23,067 --> 00:23:24,861
to make sure my mother doesn't show up.
716
00:23:24,943 --> 00:23:26,697
And she's bringing a trampoline.
717
00:23:26,818 --> 00:23:27,756
Why?
718
00:23:27,757 --> 00:23:28,940
I don't know.
719
00:23:29,062 --> 00:23:30,203
You'll come with me to the photo shoot?
720
00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:31,507
Help with the dress, the makeup,
721
00:23:31,508 --> 00:23:32,648
maybe suicide assistance?
722
00:23:32,649 --> 00:23:33,649
Absolutely.
723
00:23:33,711 --> 00:23:35,341
Hi, everyone.
724
00:23:35,545 --> 00:23:36,727
Hey.
725
00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:38,359
Hey.
Hey.
726
00:23:42,681 --> 00:23:44,557
Hello? Mom?
727
00:23:44,679 --> 00:23:46,515
Okay, how do you know
728
00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:47,573
faye mendelson is getting a massage
729
00:23:47,574 --> 00:23:48,880
and left her dog in the car?
730
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,388
Are you following her?
731
00:23:50,592 --> 00:23:52,509
What does "kind of following her" mean?
732
00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:54,343
You're either following her or you're not.
733
00:23:54,384 --> 00:23:55,486
No, mom.
734
00:23:57,647 --> 00:23:58,789
Hey.
735
00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:03,322
Hi, cozette.
Oh, we're talking.
736
00:24:03,363 --> 00:24:05,082
Yeah, sorry.
No worries.
737
00:24:05,205 --> 00:24:06,843
No, she will know who it is
738
00:24:06,884 --> 00:24:08,398
if something happens to her dog.
739
00:24:08,399 --> 00:24:10,119
She will know.
740
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,043
I get what's going on.
741
00:24:12,125 --> 00:24:13,313
What's going on?
742
00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:16,221
Group dynamics are naturally
resistant to alteration.
743
00:24:16,262 --> 00:24:17,531
What is that, like physics?
744
00:24:17,654 --> 00:24:18,924
Madonna.
745
00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,807
So why don't you skate for the team?
746
00:24:20,889 --> 00:24:22,240
I thought that's why
you gave me the flyer.
747
00:24:22,322 --> 00:24:23,592
My brother and I do the music.
748
00:24:23,633 --> 00:24:24,900
When you saw me the other day,
we were getting our
749
00:24:24,901 --> 00:24:25,901
set list together.
750
00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:27,049
The dog is innocent.
751
00:24:27,113 --> 00:24:27,973
He's an innocent party.
752
00:24:28,055 --> 00:24:29,611
Do not touch the dog!
753
00:24:29,693 --> 00:24:31,331
You need a name, you know.
754
00:24:31,372 --> 00:24:32,395
For what?
755
00:24:32,518 --> 00:24:34,279
A skater name. Everyone's got a name.
756
00:24:34,361 --> 00:24:36,245
Oh, yeah.
I haven't really thought about it.
757
00:24:36,286 --> 00:24:37,514
We'll think about it. My brother and me
758
00:24:37,555 --> 00:24:39,193
named half the team. Leave it to us.
759
00:24:39,275 --> 00:24:40,595
So you're walking down the street
760
00:24:40,790 --> 00:24:41,990
away from faye mendelson's car
761
00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:43,410
and the dog is fine.
762
00:24:43,411 --> 00:24:45,417
Okay. Go home. Chablisup.
763
00:24:45,499 --> 00:24:46,645
I'll see you later.
764
00:24:48,079 --> 00:24:50,330
We should get downstairs.
765
00:24:50,331 --> 00:24:51,723
Right behind you.
766
00:24:57,006 --> 00:24:58,399
I don't think you
understand what it's like.
767
00:24:58,521 --> 00:24:59,913
Your parents are normal.
768
00:24:59,954 --> 00:25:01,470
They do normal things and eat normal food.
769
00:25:01,551 --> 00:25:03,067
And even though your
mother counts the peas
770
00:25:03,231 --> 00:25:04,950
on everyone's plate to make sure
everyone has the same amount,
771
00:25:05,073 --> 00:25:07,038
I think that's thoughtful.
More thoughtful than wandering the house
772
00:25:07,079 --> 00:25:08,159
at night like lady MacBeth.
773
00:25:08,226 --> 00:25:09,536
Oh shoot, I forgot my shoes.
774
00:25:09,618 --> 00:25:11,829
You did not forget your shoes.
I drove you off.
775
00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:13,632
I drove her off just like my mother
776
00:25:13,714 --> 00:25:14,714
drives everyone off.
777
00:25:14,901 --> 00:25:16,335
"We mock the things we are to be."
778
00:25:16,417 --> 00:25:17,522
You know who said that? Mel Brooks.
779
00:25:17,604 --> 00:25:18,792
2,000yearold man.
780
00:25:18,914 --> 00:25:20,634
He was talking about how
we make fun of our parents
781
00:25:20,757 --> 00:25:22,435
and then we grow up
and turn into our parents.
782
00:25:22,517 --> 00:25:24,401
And that line popped
into my head yesterday
783
00:25:24,483 --> 00:25:26,489
so I started looking through
old photo albums of my mother
784
00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:28,251
trying to figure out
exactly when her crazy set in
785
00:25:28,415 --> 00:25:29,521
so I can be prepared.
786
00:25:29,562 --> 00:25:30,922
I think it started around college.
787
00:25:30,955 --> 00:25:31,979
That's the first time I saw her do that
788
00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:33,782
really wildeyed thing she does.
789
00:25:33,986 --> 00:25:35,626
So I guess I've got
about three to four years
790
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:36,854
before I go barking mad
791
00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:38,125
which is good.
792
00:25:38,248 --> 00:25:39,435
Now I'm ready for it. I can plan ahead.
793
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,361
You know, have a lot of
rounded corners in my house.
794
00:25:41,402 --> 00:25:42,549
Wear soft, bouncy clothing.
795
00:25:42,672 --> 00:25:44,064
Stock up on tissue, ice cream,
796
00:25:44,105 --> 00:25:45,621
voodoo dolls.
Are you Dutch?
797
00:25:45,622 --> 00:25:47,587
What?
Dutch. Are you Dutch?
798
00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:50,415
I...
Your face reminds me of a vermeer.
799
00:25:50,538 --> 00:25:51,538
It does?
800
00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:52,750
"The milkmaid."
801
00:25:52,751 --> 00:25:54,552
I drink milk.
802
00:25:54,716 --> 00:25:56,969
All right, everyone.
Butts to the barre.
803
00:25:57,010 --> 00:25:59,755
Well, I should get this over there.
804
00:25:59,919 --> 00:26:01,313
Hey.
805
00:26:01,517 --> 00:26:03,525
Genius is often touched with madness.
806
00:26:03,689 --> 00:26:04,835
That's what makes it fun.
807
00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:07,662
Tick, tock.
I guess so.
808
00:26:09,833 --> 00:26:11,022
Ow.
809
00:26:11,063 --> 00:26:12,414
Come on, let's go. Move move move.
810
00:26:12,415 --> 00:26:13,971
Up up up. Come on.
811
00:26:14,176 --> 00:26:16,348
There's no one in here you can date.
812
00:26:16,430 --> 00:26:17,822
I just thought I'd come watch my sister
813
00:26:17,945 --> 00:26:18,945
shape young lives.
814
00:26:19,092 --> 00:26:19,953
I'm just teaching a class.
815
00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,468
You are just teaching a class.
816
00:26:21,591 --> 00:26:22,738
Stop.
What?
817
00:26:22,861 --> 00:26:23,804
You're being a little bit douchey.
818
00:26:23,967 --> 00:26:24,951
I'm not being a little bit douchey.
819
00:26:25,115 --> 00:26:25,934
I've never seen you in a position
820
00:26:26,016 --> 00:26:27,327
of authority before. Except that year
821
00:26:27,409 --> 00:26:28,965
you dressed up like Angie
Dickinson for Halloween.
822
00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,236
Ha ha. Go away.
823
00:26:30,237 --> 00:26:32,242
I'm not gonna disrupt anything.
824
00:26:32,243 --> 00:26:34,250
Scotty.
I'm just gonna sit right here
825
00:26:34,332 --> 00:26:36,258
and watch you teach.
826
00:26:36,340 --> 00:26:37,856
I think it'll be interesting.
827
00:26:37,979 --> 00:26:39,412
And possibly hilarious.
828
00:26:41,256 --> 00:26:43,264
All right, everyone. First position.
829
00:26:48,549 --> 00:26:51,335
De mi, straight.
830
00:26:51,376 --> 00:26:53,916
De mi, straight.
831
00:26:54,038 --> 00:26:55,472
Grand plie.
832
00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:03,092
Nice. Beautiful.
833
00:27:03,174 --> 00:27:04,270
Next group.
834
00:27:08,088 --> 00:27:10,727
All right, four turns are not better
than three if you fall, dude.
835
00:27:18,078 --> 00:27:19,702
Cozette, so good, but I need that hold
836
00:27:19,823 --> 00:27:21,651
before you float through.
837
00:27:21,772 --> 00:27:22,772
I'm sorry?
838
00:27:22,951 --> 00:27:24,471
You have to hit that arabesque strong.
839
00:27:24,656 --> 00:27:27,336
And then square everything off.
840
00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:28,514
Then leading with the chin,
841
00:27:28,636 --> 00:27:30,707
arm up and then float through, okay?
842
00:27:30,829 --> 00:27:31,681
Ahh.
843
00:27:31,762 --> 00:27:33,954
Like this.
844
00:27:33,955 --> 00:27:35,052
Yes. Great.
845
00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:36,514
Perfect. Nice.
846
00:27:36,635 --> 00:27:38,382
Pointe shoes on, everyone.
847
00:27:41,874 --> 00:27:43,945
Wow, that cozette, she's very...
848
00:27:44,067 --> 00:27:45,245
Intense?
And weird.
849
00:27:45,326 --> 00:27:46,503
I mean weird in a good way,
850
00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,128
but who the hell is she?
Beats me.
851
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,509
And why does she bring
that sketch artist with her
852
00:27:49,631 --> 00:27:51,051
everywhere she goes?
That's her brother.
853
00:27:51,052 --> 00:27:53,042
Oh, okay. Yeah, not any less weird.
854
00:27:53,123 --> 00:27:54,745
Who brings their brother
with them everywhere they go?
855
00:27:54,746 --> 00:27:56,426
Oh, hey, Scotty.
This is my brother Scotty.
856
00:27:56,534 --> 00:27:58,727
Nice hoofing.
Making Michelle look good out there.
857
00:27:58,808 --> 00:28:01,008
Thank you from the president
of "I have no coordination"
858
00:28:01,163 --> 00:28:02,163
incorporated."
859
00:28:02,301 --> 00:28:04,737
So seriously, how is she as a teacher?
860
00:28:04,778 --> 00:28:06,402
She's good.
Really?
861
00:28:06,483 --> 00:28:08,108
Accept the answer and go sit down.
862
00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:09,367
I'm sorry, I have to say
863
00:28:09,407 --> 00:28:10,991
it is so weird to see you as a teacher.
864
00:28:11,153 --> 00:28:12,209
I know, right?
865
00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:13,291
Thanks, Matisse.
866
00:28:13,346 --> 00:28:14,199
You guys have to understand,
867
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,337
when Michelle was a kid,
868
00:28:15,418 --> 00:28:16,595
she hated her ballet teacher.
869
00:28:16,717 --> 00:28:17,773
Okay, we're in the middle of a class here.
870
00:28:17,854 --> 00:28:19,254
No, it was like a deep deep hatred.
871
00:28:19,356 --> 00:28:20,535
An obsessive hatred.
872
00:28:20,656 --> 00:28:22,645
And then one night she saw this movie.
873
00:28:22,646 --> 00:28:25,975
And it had... Margaret o'brien,
874
00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:27,316
remember?
No.
875
00:28:27,519 --> 00:28:28,940
So, Margaret o'brien
was this ballet student
876
00:28:29,021 --> 00:28:31,133
and she idolized this old ballerina.
877
00:28:31,255 --> 00:28:33,569
She wasn't old. She was older
878
00:28:33,691 --> 00:28:34,827
than Margaret o'brien.
879
00:28:34,828 --> 00:28:37,022
And then one day, this other
ballerina comes to town
880
00:28:37,062 --> 00:28:38,686
and steals the lead in "swan lake"
881
00:28:38,808 --> 00:28:40,311
from Margaret o'brien's ballerina.
882
00:28:40,392 --> 00:28:42,301
So she decides to sabotage
the new ballerina
883
00:28:42,504 --> 00:28:43,824
by turning off the stage lights,
884
00:28:43,906 --> 00:28:46,299
but she opens a trapdoor
in the floor by mistake,
885
00:28:46,381 --> 00:28:47,702
and the ballerina falls into it.
886
00:28:47,784 --> 00:28:48,784
Oh my god, what happened?
887
00:28:48,897 --> 00:28:50,383
Paralyzed, wheelchair.
888
00:28:50,424 --> 00:28:51,424
That's terrible.
889
00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:52,899
To you. To Michelle, it was inspiration.
890
00:28:53,105 --> 00:28:54,178
Okay, Scotty.
891
00:28:54,301 --> 00:28:56,529
So Michelle decides to
cut a hole in the floor
892
00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:57,849
of her ballet class
893
00:28:57,973 --> 00:28:59,013
so that old lady vinshtick
894
00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:00,242
would fall in and paralyze herself.
895
00:29:00,448 --> 00:29:01,520
I did not.
896
00:29:01,603 --> 00:29:03,006
She breaks in in the middle of the night
897
00:29:03,130 --> 00:29:05,481
and tries to cut
a hole in the floor with...
898
00:29:05,646 --> 00:29:08,821
With safety scissors
and a grapefruit spoon.
899
00:29:08,945 --> 00:29:10,142
It didn't go very well.
900
00:29:10,224 --> 00:29:11,379
Wow.
901
00:29:11,544 --> 00:29:12,576
Okay, shoes back on? Great.
902
00:29:12,617 --> 00:29:14,143
Back to the center. Go.
903
00:29:16,618 --> 00:29:17,938
Nice kids.
They sure are.
904
00:29:18,021 --> 00:29:19,547
So how much longer you got here?
905
00:29:19,588 --> 00:29:20,990
I'm thinking dinner.
906
00:29:21,073 --> 00:29:22,476
Don't know. Class, some bookkeeping.
907
00:29:22,517 --> 00:29:24,249
You might be on your own tonight.
908
00:29:24,373 --> 00:29:25,816
Oh.
909
00:29:25,899 --> 00:29:27,096
Okay.
910
00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:29,488
Echappe, echappe, echappe, pas de chat.
911
00:29:29,612 --> 00:29:31,953
Five, six, seven, eight.
912
00:29:40,715 --> 00:29:42,717
Sonic youth segueing into little Richard
totally worked last night.
913
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,074
As predicted.
914
00:29:44,238 --> 00:29:46,038
Lil' Wayne segueing
into Brad Paisley did not.
915
00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:47,273
Did you know he was country?
916
00:29:47,395 --> 00:29:49,241
The Paisley thing threw me off.
917
00:29:49,406 --> 00:29:51,866
You blending in?
918
00:29:51,948 --> 00:29:53,507
Me?
Yeah you.
919
00:29:53,630 --> 00:29:54,779
Trying to.
920
00:29:54,901 --> 00:29:55,968
The name will help.
921
00:29:56,091 --> 00:29:57,240
Just gotta think of one.
922
00:29:57,281 --> 00:29:59,495
We already did that.
You're gonna like it.
923
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:00,848
But you don't even know me.
924
00:30:00,889 --> 00:30:04,253
Yo! Cleosmacktra, get in here.
925
00:30:05,893 --> 00:30:07,821
Cleosmacktra?
926
00:30:07,944 --> 00:30:09,339
Cool.
927
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,235
That beaver. He's evil.
928
00:30:13,317 --> 00:30:14,835
There's evilness in that kid.
929
00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:16,516
At least I'm not late
to class today. Good.
930
00:30:16,639 --> 00:30:18,731
The hand of Lucifer
has touched that child.
931
00:30:18,854 --> 00:30:20,334
No time for the dressing room though.
932
00:30:20,371 --> 00:30:21,839
He played us against each other.
933
00:30:21,961 --> 00:30:22,816
How did we let him do that?
934
00:30:22,939 --> 00:30:24,243
He caught us at a bad time.
935
00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:25,384
I didn't call you doodoo head.
936
00:30:25,506 --> 00:30:27,096
I would never call you doodoo head.
937
00:30:27,137 --> 00:30:28,155
I can't believe that for a second
938
00:30:28,278 --> 00:30:29,580
you thought I would call you doodoo head.
939
00:30:29,581 --> 00:30:30,886
I didn't know what he was saying, okay?
940
00:30:30,968 --> 00:30:32,638
I didn't know what to think.
941
00:30:32,842 --> 00:30:33,984
He's bad. I mean, he's just a bad one.
942
00:30:34,024 --> 00:30:36,103
And we fell for it.
Why did we fall for it?
943
00:30:36,184 --> 00:30:37,529
We're tired.
I'm exhausted.
944
00:30:37,610 --> 00:30:40,178
Class is an hour. You and the
kids stay in the vicinity, okay?
945
00:30:40,259 --> 00:30:42,379
But I thought you were going
to bring them all in with you.
946
00:30:42,501 --> 00:30:44,050
Carl, I can't. I have class.
947
00:30:44,254 --> 00:30:45,558
Well, I've got something too.
948
00:30:45,559 --> 00:30:47,310
Something? What something?
949
00:30:47,392 --> 00:30:48,696
You don't have work today.
950
00:30:48,819 --> 00:30:49,837
I'm going to the gym.
951
00:30:49,959 --> 00:30:51,141
The gym.
952
00:30:51,345 --> 00:30:52,771
Yeah, it's been, like, forever.
953
00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:54,035
You're not going to the gym.
954
00:30:54,198 --> 00:30:55,094
I am going to the gym.
955
00:30:55,217 --> 00:30:56,929
No.
Yes.
956
00:30:57,051 --> 00:30:58,231
Okay, fine. But I won't be
here when you get back.
957
00:30:58,232 --> 00:30:59,983
I haven't had time to myself in a week!
958
00:30:59,984 --> 00:31:01,779
You knew that kids were a commitment.
959
00:31:01,942 --> 00:31:03,042
These aren't our kids.
960
00:31:03,164 --> 00:31:04,428
You know what I mean.
961
00:31:04,510 --> 00:31:05,609
Carl, please.
962
00:31:05,732 --> 00:31:07,484
Fine. I'll skip the gym.
963
00:31:07,565 --> 00:31:09,888
But if I lose definition in my glutes,
964
00:31:09,929 --> 00:31:12,374
you're to blame, okay?
965
00:31:14,901 --> 00:31:16,451
Carl, please don't be mad.
966
00:31:16,573 --> 00:31:18,407
Let's start class, losers.
967
00:31:18,447 --> 00:31:20,159
Just need to stretch a little first,
968
00:31:20,281 --> 00:31:21,912
okay, Jordan?
Absolutely not.
969
00:31:21,994 --> 00:31:23,216
You three, you're my first group.
970
00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:25,416
We're starting with pirouettes.
971
00:31:25,539 --> 00:31:27,535
And tendu.
972
00:31:27,617 --> 00:31:31,693
Fourth, spot spot spot.
973
00:31:35,075 --> 00:31:36,502
Two?
974
00:31:36,584 --> 00:31:38,784
Two and then you stop.
975
00:31:38,825 --> 00:31:40,333
Margaret, how old are you?
976
00:31:40,577 --> 00:31:43,634
10.
10?
977
00:31:43,716 --> 00:31:45,916
I thought, with that attitude
of yours, you were six.
978
00:31:46,039 --> 00:31:48,525
You want to know how many
I could do when I was 10?
979
00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:49,625
Like a thousand.
980
00:31:49,747 --> 00:31:51,622
Do not look weak, Margaret.
981
00:31:51,663 --> 00:31:54,108
Baryshnikov never looked weak.
982
00:31:54,190 --> 00:31:55,875
Even in "sex and the city,"
983
00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:57,272
the man never looked weak!
984
00:31:57,395 --> 00:31:58,793
Jordan!
985
00:31:58,916 --> 00:32:00,437
I have had it with this attitude of yours.
986
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:01,753
Your rudeness.
987
00:32:01,835 --> 00:32:04,219
And your baryshnikov this
and baryshnikov that.
988
00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:05,616
Hey, this is not your class.
No! You are getting
989
00:32:05,739 --> 00:32:06,739
a timeout, mister.
990
00:32:06,808 --> 00:32:08,328
What?
Shh. Quiet.
991
00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,178
No no no. Look at me.
992
00:32:10,301 --> 00:32:12,273
Look at me.
993
00:32:12,274 --> 00:32:13,836
Okay, we are here to learn
994
00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:15,603
and to have a good time.
995
00:32:15,726 --> 00:32:17,946
That's what ballet is all about.
996
00:32:18,069 --> 00:32:19,385
Now, I'm going to have to answer that.
997
00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:21,234
Okay? Because I've got school.
998
00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:23,001
And a job. And three kids.
999
00:32:23,125 --> 00:32:25,262
And that could be news that one
of them just shoved a dump truck
1000
00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:26,988
up his nose, okay?
1001
00:32:27,152 --> 00:32:28,673
So I'm going to take five minutes.
1002
00:32:28,756 --> 00:32:30,523
We're all going to take five minutes here.
1003
00:32:30,564 --> 00:32:32,783
And when I get back, I expect to see
1004
00:32:32,989 --> 00:32:35,455
a brandnew Jordan.
1005
00:32:38,661 --> 00:32:40,634
Yeah?
Boo, I'm looking for Melanie. Is she there?
1006
00:32:40,675 --> 00:32:41,826
No.
No?
1007
00:32:41,949 --> 00:32:43,069
Are you kidding? Look again.
1008
00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:44,415
She's gotta be there. I need her here.
1009
00:32:44,497 --> 00:32:45,936
She promised.
Honey, honey,
1010
00:32:46,059 --> 00:32:47,826
take off the frowny face
and put on the smiley face.
1011
00:32:47,908 --> 00:32:49,142
What? Boo, listen...
1012
00:32:49,224 --> 00:32:50,292
Do you have a juice box?
1013
00:32:50,374 --> 00:32:51,813
Do you want juice?
Boo. Listen.
1014
00:32:52,018 --> 00:32:53,251
You've got to lose those kids.
I know.
1015
00:32:53,334 --> 00:32:54,731
Okay, what am I gonna do?
1016
00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:57,238
Look, call Charlie.
He probably knows where she is.
1017
00:32:57,443 --> 00:32:58,759
I will.
1018
00:33:01,472 --> 00:33:03,445
All right, everyone. Let's start.
1019
00:33:03,486 --> 00:33:04,883
Big smiles now.
1020
00:33:06,774 --> 00:33:08,993
Jordan?
1021
00:33:09,076 --> 00:33:11,213
Okay, can everyone come
out to the center, please?
1022
00:33:13,802 --> 00:33:16,720
And tendu. Fourth.
1023
00:33:18,734 --> 00:33:20,296
Very nice.
1024
00:33:20,419 --> 00:33:22,762
All right, let's try it again, please?
1025
00:33:22,885 --> 00:33:24,489
And tendu.
1026
00:33:35,051 --> 00:33:37,229
Pick up your feet.
1027
00:33:39,695 --> 00:33:42,566
Damn it, McGee, I'll get you for that.
1028
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,176
Oh my god.
1029
00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:55,061
I forgot to go to the photo shoot.
1030
00:33:55,142 --> 00:33:57,042
Yeah?
1031
00:33:57,123 --> 00:33:58,123
It went bad, didn't it?
1032
00:33:58,175 --> 00:33:59,549
Oh yes, yes. Very bad.
1033
00:33:59,711 --> 00:34:01,652
Very bad indeed.
What's on the dress?
1034
00:34:01,774 --> 00:34:03,714
Punch.
Punch? From what?
1035
00:34:03,715 --> 00:34:04,885
Punch from when my mother came
1036
00:34:04,886 --> 00:34:06,383
and threw it all over us.
Oh my god.
1037
00:34:06,464 --> 00:34:07,636
Where did your mother get punch?
1038
00:34:07,677 --> 00:34:10,305
Oh, there are a variety
of places to get punch, Melanie.
1039
00:34:10,346 --> 00:34:11,921
Ralphs has punch,
1040
00:34:11,922 --> 00:34:13,540
and vons, and albertsons,
1041
00:34:13,662 --> 00:34:15,462
your local pharmacy
stocks many punch products
1042
00:34:15,643 --> 00:34:18,270
to throw on people.
Punch is very easy to obtain.
1043
00:34:18,271 --> 00:34:21,304
Ginny, I am so sorry.
1044
00:34:21,385 --> 00:34:23,366
I should have told you
why I haven't been around.
1045
00:34:23,488 --> 00:34:25,549
But I got caught up in all this stuff,
1046
00:34:25,550 --> 00:34:26,964
and I'm sucking at school
1047
00:34:27,086 --> 00:34:29,957
and my dad is putting
college pamphlets on my pillow,
1048
00:34:30,078 --> 00:34:32,544
and under my breakfast plate,
and in my sock drawer.
1049
00:34:32,545 --> 00:34:35,861
And he keeps going on and on
about the s.A.T.S
1050
00:34:35,982 --> 00:34:37,154
and what I'm gonna major in
1051
00:34:37,357 --> 00:34:38,408
and what I'm gonna do for a living
1052
00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,025
and what retirement home
I'm gonna end up in.
1053
00:34:40,026 --> 00:34:42,209
And I found this, this...
1054
00:34:42,249 --> 00:34:43,503
Skating thing,
1055
00:34:43,544 --> 00:34:46,051
and it made some kind of stupid sense.
1056
00:34:46,172 --> 00:34:47,172
And I'm just so...
1057
00:34:47,304 --> 00:34:49,447
So sorry.
1058
00:34:51,509 --> 00:34:53,006
Say something.
1059
00:34:53,086 --> 00:34:55,877
You should have been there.
1060
00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:02,265
Where are we? What is this?
1061
00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:04,448
It's roller derby.
1062
00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:06,187
Roller derby? You're in roller derby?
1063
00:35:06,268 --> 00:35:08,412
I'm Cleosmacktra.
1064
00:35:10,312 --> 00:35:11,969
How did this enter your world?
1065
00:35:11,970 --> 00:35:13,345
That night at the oyster bar,
1066
00:35:13,465 --> 00:35:15,286
when I pulled the chair
out from underneath godot.
1067
00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:16,741
Godot got you into this?
1068
00:35:16,822 --> 00:35:17,822
Not godot.
1069
00:35:17,874 --> 00:35:19,369
She gave me a flyer.
1070
00:35:19,491 --> 00:35:20,542
She?
1071
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:24,949
You!
1072
00:35:24,950 --> 00:35:26,769
Hi?
1073
00:35:26,971 --> 00:35:28,265
Should you run?
1074
00:35:30,247 --> 00:35:32,754
You stay out of this.
You're ruining everything!
1075
00:35:32,916 --> 00:35:34,614
I don't know who you are
or where you're from,
1076
00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:37,444
or why you know French, or why
you're so close with Mitch alvarado,
1077
00:35:37,525 --> 00:35:39,021
but Melanie is my friend!
1078
00:35:39,183 --> 00:35:39,992
And it's the four of us.
1079
00:35:40,154 --> 00:35:42,418
And you need to stay the hell away!
1080
00:35:42,580 --> 00:35:44,237
And I'm Norwegian!
1081
00:35:50,828 --> 00:35:52,444
Does she skate?
1082
00:36:06,925 --> 00:36:08,026
Is everyone decent?
Yep.
1083
00:36:08,147 --> 00:36:09,707
I was yelling your name for 20 minutes.
1084
00:36:09,778 --> 00:36:11,285
Didn't you hear me?
What do you want, Scotty?
1085
00:36:11,407 --> 00:36:13,608
I just need a key to get in your place.
1086
00:36:13,689 --> 00:36:15,239
What happened to the key
I gave you yesterday?
1087
00:36:15,361 --> 00:36:16,624
I don't know. Misplaced it.
1088
00:36:16,664 --> 00:36:18,824
Is there like a paradise
lost and found somewhere?
1089
00:36:18,865 --> 00:36:20,251
Oh.
1090
00:36:20,373 --> 00:36:21,758
Is something wrong?
1091
00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:23,959
You're suddenly acting like
every other woman in my life.
1092
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,629
Michelle?
1093
00:36:25,711 --> 00:36:27,260
You told me the ukulele was lost.
1094
00:36:27,342 --> 00:36:28,604
What?
When I asked you where it was,
1095
00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:30,245
you told me to my face that it was lost.
1096
00:36:30,398 --> 00:36:31,824
It wasn't lost. You had it the whole time.
1097
00:36:31,906 --> 00:36:33,535
Who cares?
I do. I wanted my ukulele.
1098
00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,736
That was like 20 years ago.
Is that your excuse?
1099
00:36:35,899 --> 00:36:37,731
Oh jeez, I'm sorry.
You know, if you missed it that much
1100
00:36:37,732 --> 00:36:38,996
maybe you should have
just bought a new one.
1101
00:36:39,159 --> 00:36:40,301
They're very hot now.
1102
00:36:40,382 --> 00:36:42,379
Eddie vedder just did
a whole ukulele album.
1103
00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:43,927
That's how out of ideas he is.
1104
00:36:44,131 --> 00:36:45,313
I'll get it for you for Christmas.
You're undermining me.
1105
00:36:45,434 --> 00:36:46,434
What? How?
1106
00:36:46,576 --> 00:36:48,246
Your cracks, your jokes
in front of the girls.
1107
00:36:48,328 --> 00:36:50,122
I'm being funny. It's humor.
1108
00:36:50,326 --> 00:36:51,385
It's what sets us apart from the apes.
1109
00:36:51,466 --> 00:36:52,648
That whole Margaret o'brien thing.
1110
00:36:52,771 --> 00:36:54,319
That was funny?
I can't...
1111
00:36:54,523 --> 00:36:55,826
You basically told them
to cut a hole in the floor
1112
00:36:55,908 --> 00:36:57,548
so I'll fall through and paralyze myself.
1113
00:36:57,661 --> 00:36:59,657
I didn't tell them to do it.
I told them that you wanted to do it
1114
00:36:59,739 --> 00:37:01,858
to your teacher.
I thought it was a cute story.
1115
00:37:01,899 --> 00:37:04,099
You were planting ideas.
I told them the plot of a movie.
1116
00:37:04,303 --> 00:37:06,544
I did not write the movie.
How the hell am I the bad guy in this?
1117
00:37:06,666 --> 00:37:07,888
This is my life now, Scotty.
1118
00:37:08,052 --> 00:37:09,805
This is my home. This is my job.
1119
00:37:09,886 --> 00:37:11,434
Those are my students.
1120
00:37:11,638 --> 00:37:14,081
Oh boy. You have snapped
many many caps, my friend.
1121
00:37:14,082 --> 00:37:15,021
I'm an authority figure now.
1122
00:37:15,143 --> 00:37:16,528
Authority figure? Come on.
1123
00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,444
They look up to me.
They're isolated kids.
1124
00:37:18,526 --> 00:37:20,076
You're this strange exotic creature.
1125
00:37:20,157 --> 00:37:21,788
You're a mermaid. You're tinker bell.
1126
00:37:21,829 --> 00:37:23,663
So that's why you're here?
To crap all over my new life?
1127
00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:24,805
I worked hard for this life.
1128
00:37:24,968 --> 00:37:26,558
You got drunk and married a guy.
1129
00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:27,944
Hard work.
Hey!
1130
00:37:27,985 --> 00:37:29,698
What? I've done it too. No judgments.
1131
00:37:29,861 --> 00:37:30,880
Well, he was a great guy.
1132
00:37:31,002 --> 00:37:32,511
And his mother has been
really really good to me.
1133
00:37:32,632 --> 00:37:34,060
You're living in a guest house.
What does that mean?
1134
00:37:34,182 --> 00:37:35,813
It means, it's a one room guest house.
1135
00:37:35,895 --> 00:37:39,197
For a guest.
Oh, so square footage is the measure of stability now?
1136
00:37:39,401 --> 00:37:40,828
What's your square footage, Scotty, huh?
1137
00:37:40,909 --> 00:37:42,296
Enjoying your six feet of my couch?
1138
00:37:42,297 --> 00:37:44,212
Matt Johnson.
What?
1139
00:37:44,294 --> 00:37:45,965
Matt Johnson. He was
my best friend in school,
1140
00:37:46,047 --> 00:37:47,677
you dated him, and as
soon as you guys broke up
1141
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,980
he wouldn't talk to me anymore.
1142
00:37:48,981 --> 00:37:50,042
What are you yammering about?
1143
00:37:50,124 --> 00:37:51,388
You said you never took anything from me?
1144
00:37:51,429 --> 00:37:52,692
You took Matt Johnson.
1145
00:37:52,733 --> 00:37:54,201
I have no memory of Matt Johnson.
1146
00:37:54,242 --> 00:37:55,261
Oh, come on, Michelle.
1147
00:37:55,383 --> 00:37:57,382
Matt Johnson? He was my best friend.
1148
00:37:57,463 --> 00:37:59,094
The two amigos?
1149
00:37:59,135 --> 00:38:01,703
Do you mean Eric Johnson?
1150
00:38:01,785 --> 00:38:02,967
Yes. Eric Johnson.
1151
00:38:03,089 --> 00:38:03,986
Wow.
Doesn't change what happened.
1152
00:38:04,027 --> 00:38:05,087
He was so important to you
1153
00:38:05,168 --> 00:38:06,147
you couldn't remember his name.
1154
00:38:06,229 --> 00:38:07,167
Perhaps I blacked it out. Too much trauma.
1155
00:38:07,248 --> 00:38:08,920
Just own up to it, Scotty.
1156
00:38:09,042 --> 00:38:10,795
Take some responsibility.
What does that have to do with...
1157
00:38:10,917 --> 00:38:12,752
You never take
responsibility for anything.
1158
00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,634
Oh, says the girl who set
every float on fire
1159
00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:16,014
at the fourth of July parade
with a cigarette
1160
00:38:16,015 --> 00:38:17,522
and blamed it on rap music.
1161
00:38:17,563 --> 00:38:18,909
Why didn't you make me
graduate high school?
1162
00:38:18,950 --> 00:38:20,906
You did graduate.
No.
1163
00:38:20,947 --> 00:38:22,537
I was there.
That was the ceremony.
1164
00:38:22,659 --> 00:38:24,046
I didn't have the credits
to get the diploma.
1165
00:38:24,168 --> 00:38:25,168
Oh, bummer.
1166
00:38:25,228 --> 00:38:26,615
You should have made me graduate.
1167
00:38:26,656 --> 00:38:28,612
It was your responsibility to make
sure I was prepared for life.
1168
00:38:28,735 --> 00:38:30,161
Why me?
You're my big brother.
1169
00:38:30,243 --> 00:38:31,548
By a year!
1170
00:38:31,752 --> 00:38:33,056
All I was supposed to do
was make sure you had beer.
1171
00:38:33,138 --> 00:38:34,688
Why is this funny?
Why are you making this funny?
1172
00:38:34,769 --> 00:38:37,175
Because all I wanted was a key.
1173
00:38:37,337 --> 00:38:38,337
That's all.
1174
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,950
And suddenly you're freaking out
1175
00:38:40,032 --> 00:38:41,829
and you said ukulele like 60 times
1176
00:38:42,033 --> 00:38:44,156
and I don't even know why
we're having this argument.
1177
00:38:44,238 --> 00:38:46,238
Don't do that. That is so mom.
1178
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,238
She starts stuff, and then
while you're standing there
1179
00:38:48,361 --> 00:38:49,993
yelling and screaming
and pulling your hair out,
1180
00:38:50,075 --> 00:38:51,586
she says "I don't even know
why we're having this argument"
1181
00:38:51,709 --> 00:38:53,587
when she knows damn well
why you're having the argument.
1182
00:38:53,709 --> 00:38:55,464
She's the one who started this
argument in the first place.
1183
00:38:55,587 --> 00:38:57,342
How did we suddenly get to mom?
1184
00:38:57,424 --> 00:38:59,058
You brought her up.
I did not bring her up.
1185
00:38:59,098 --> 00:39:00,364
Well, by being like her,
you brought her up.
1186
00:39:00,486 --> 00:39:01,646
You don't even deal with mom.
1187
00:39:01,671 --> 00:39:02,609
I deal with mom.
1188
00:39:02,691 --> 00:39:03,971
Mom needs money, I deal with it.
1189
00:39:03,998 --> 00:39:05,630
Mom needs to move, I deal with it.
1190
00:39:05,753 --> 00:39:07,508
Mom needs help hiding out
from the jehovah's witnesses,
1191
00:39:07,590 --> 00:39:08,896
I deal with it!
1192
00:39:08,897 --> 00:39:10,285
Why was mom hiding out
from the jehovah's witnesses?
1193
00:39:10,407 --> 00:39:11,510
It's a long story and they're a very
1194
00:39:11,592 --> 00:39:13,102
nonviolent organization so it takes a lot
1195
00:39:13,224 --> 00:39:14,488
to get them to the point
1196
00:39:14,489 --> 00:39:15,794
where they are someone
you have to hide out from.
1197
00:39:15,795 --> 00:39:16,981
Well, that's your choice.
1198
00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:19,145
I washed my hands
of all that a long time ago.
1199
00:39:19,185 --> 00:39:20,425
Yes, I know. How long's it been
1200
00:39:20,451 --> 00:39:22,732
since you talked to mom?
12 glorious funfilled years.
1201
00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:24,452
Oh, very mature, by the way.
1202
00:39:24,575 --> 00:39:25,717
Not much has changed.
1203
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,554
Your address, you go to a job every day,
1204
00:39:27,595 --> 00:39:29,351
but not much else.
You don't know what you're talking about.
1205
00:39:29,474 --> 00:39:31,801
Yeah, it took me way longer to figure
things out than it should have,
1206
00:39:31,923 --> 00:39:33,311
but look at the road map I had to follow.
1207
00:39:33,393 --> 00:39:35,311
The birds ate all those
breadcrumbs, hansel.
1208
00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:37,516
And boy, do I not want to
hear about all the stuff
1209
00:39:37,598 --> 00:39:39,598
you have to put up with
with that crazy woman.
1210
00:39:39,761 --> 00:39:42,415
Because I've dealt with more than a
lifetime's worth of crap from her.
1211
00:39:42,456 --> 00:39:44,253
Her obsession with her face and her looks,
1212
00:39:44,294 --> 00:39:45,355
and my face and my looks.
1213
00:39:45,437 --> 00:39:46,621
And her completely fictional take
1214
00:39:46,662 --> 00:39:48,009
on what our family was.
1215
00:39:48,050 --> 00:39:50,581
And if you choose to continue
having negative influences
1216
00:39:50,703 --> 00:39:52,214
in your life, then you
have to prepare yourself
1217
00:39:52,254 --> 00:39:53,643
for the consequences.
1218
00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:55,521
You know who told me that?
Fanny, my motherinlaw.
1219
00:39:55,603 --> 00:39:57,283
She told me that you make your own family.
1220
00:39:57,358 --> 00:39:58,787
You make your own destiny.
1221
00:39:58,869 --> 00:40:00,257
And there is nothing you cannot change
1222
00:40:00,298 --> 00:40:01,441
if you are completely committed to it.
1223
00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,516
And I am.
1224
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,421
I am completely committed to it.
1225
00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:06,343
And it doesn't matter
if you believe it or not,
1226
00:40:06,408 --> 00:40:09,016
the address has changed
and my life has changed.
1227
00:40:09,181 --> 00:40:11,292
Fine.
I can do this.
1228
00:42:09,470 --> 00:42:10,877
No! Do it again, Jordan!
1229
00:42:12,492 --> 00:42:14,189
No. Again.
1230
00:42:19,032 --> 00:42:20,312
You're better than this, Jordan.
1231
00:42:20,357 --> 00:42:21,433
Come on.
1232
00:42:25,656 --> 00:42:26,731
Yes.
1233
00:42:31,947 --> 00:42:33,851
I'll be better after a banana.
1234
00:42:33,853 --> 00:42:39,953
Sync and corrections by atrn97g
for www.Addic7ed.Com
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