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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,051 Previously on bunheads... 2 00:00:01,113 --> 00:00:02,216 I think I forgot to finish high school. 3 00:00:02,239 --> 00:00:03,887 I'm a dropout. Not even a dropout... 4 00:00:03,888 --> 00:00:05,454 Dropping out implies action. 5 00:00:05,576 --> 00:00:07,679 I just... didn't finish. 6 00:00:07,802 --> 00:00:10,151 My dad and faye mendelson set the wedding location. 7 00:00:10,152 --> 00:00:12,170 Fun. It's the same place he married my mom. 8 00:00:12,376 --> 00:00:13,570 No way. 9 00:00:13,653 --> 00:00:16,084 The day I lost my husband was the worst day of my life. 10 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:19,546 Of course I lost him to the divorcee in the jeggings across the street. 11 00:00:19,710 --> 00:00:21,317 So what's up with Charlie? What do you mean? 12 00:00:21,358 --> 00:00:23,336 What did he do to make her dump him? 13 00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,849 Nothing. He was totally smitten. 14 00:00:27,705 --> 00:00:28,528 Here's to being dumb. 15 00:00:28,652 --> 00:00:30,300 I have a masters in oceanography. 16 00:00:30,301 --> 00:00:32,526 So they let high school dropouts get phds? 17 00:00:32,567 --> 00:00:34,336 I didn't say I was a high school dropout. 18 00:00:34,337 --> 00:00:36,440 I'm guessing that you and me tonight, we're not... 19 00:00:36,563 --> 00:00:38,089 No. Not tonight. 20 00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,654 What did you say to him? Maybe you can unsay it. 21 00:00:39,736 --> 00:00:41,936 In a better outfit. Did he say something bad to you? 22 00:00:44,434 --> 00:00:45,753 Saw your moves. 23 00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,153 Bartender, the girl. 24 00:00:47,195 --> 00:00:49,049 I think you might dig it. 25 00:00:51,645 --> 00:00:54,035 Five, six, seven, eight. 26 00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:02,688 Stop. 27 00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:06,231 Everyone, just stop. 28 00:01:06,396 --> 00:01:09,528 You just killed baryshnikov. 29 00:01:11,712 --> 00:01:13,361 Well, would you mind showing us the combination 30 00:01:13,442 --> 00:01:14,473 again, Jordan? 31 00:01:14,514 --> 00:01:15,668 Oh, sure. 32 00:01:15,792 --> 00:01:17,234 What have I got but loads of time 33 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,840 and Sincere enthusiasm 34 00:01:19,005 --> 00:01:20,530 to show you the same freaking thing 35 00:01:20,613 --> 00:01:22,426 over and over again? 36 00:01:22,508 --> 00:01:23,703 Move. 37 00:01:37,383 --> 00:01:38,538 Do that. 38 00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:44,553 They kill baryshnikov again? 39 00:01:44,718 --> 00:01:45,872 Yep. 40 00:01:45,955 --> 00:01:47,726 I just need to do something on the computer here. 41 00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:50,198 I'll be super quick. Quiet as a mouse. 42 00:01:52,671 --> 00:01:54,360 From now on, Jordan, sir. 43 00:01:56,461 --> 00:01:57,409 Let's try it again, everyone. 44 00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,428 Five, six, seven, eight. 45 00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,571 Sharper, rayray. 46 00:02:03,220 --> 00:02:05,651 Cleaner, Ginny. Cleaner. 47 00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,184 Be smaller, boo. 48 00:02:07,305 --> 00:02:09,482 Smaller? Don't talk back. 49 00:02:09,603 --> 00:02:12,022 Matisse, stop. Stop! 50 00:02:12,143 --> 00:02:13,394 Focus, okay. 51 00:02:13,594 --> 00:02:14,885 Without focus, your life is gonna be jumping 52 00:02:15,087 --> 00:02:16,619 from alcoholic boyfriend to another. 53 00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,111 Is that what you want? 54 00:02:18,152 --> 00:02:19,724 I don't think so. 55 00:02:19,885 --> 00:02:21,256 Hey, Jordan, let's take five here. 56 00:02:21,336 --> 00:02:22,656 They look like they need a break. 57 00:02:22,708 --> 00:02:25,531 When don't they? Take five. 58 00:02:25,652 --> 00:02:27,224 Jordan, your group is wilting here. 59 00:02:27,345 --> 00:02:28,425 And the kids in the corner, 60 00:02:28,473 --> 00:02:29,321 what's up with them? 61 00:02:29,401 --> 00:02:30,450 They wanted to stretch before class. 62 00:02:30,490 --> 00:02:31,377 I mean, come on. 63 00:02:31,498 --> 00:02:32,547 "Be smaller." 64 00:02:32,627 --> 00:02:33,627 What a jerk. 65 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:35,047 I hate him so much. 66 00:02:35,087 --> 00:02:36,094 Me too. 67 00:02:36,135 --> 00:02:37,506 But I'm also in love with him. 68 00:02:37,627 --> 00:02:38,554 Me too. 69 00:02:38,635 --> 00:02:40,168 But not anymore. Same here. 70 00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:41,861 He's so insane today. He hasn't even noticed 71 00:02:41,982 --> 00:02:43,352 that Melanie isn't here. Why isn't she here? 72 00:02:43,393 --> 00:02:44,764 He's looking. 73 00:02:44,885 --> 00:02:45,812 They're being babied around. Absolutely not. 74 00:02:46,054 --> 00:02:46,942 You're not challenging them enough. 75 00:02:47,103 --> 00:02:48,383 You can see it in their dancing, 76 00:02:48,473 --> 00:02:49,361 their barre work, their legs, 77 00:02:49,522 --> 00:02:50,651 their posture. Jordan. 78 00:02:50,731 --> 00:02:52,211 Everything they do, it's not correct. 79 00:02:52,345 --> 00:02:54,764 We're talking a break. We're not doing anything wrong. 80 00:02:54,805 --> 00:02:56,981 Bastard's gotten into my head. 81 00:02:56,982 --> 00:02:58,958 Sasha's awol too, by the way. 82 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,127 Well, I know where she is. 83 00:03:00,328 --> 00:03:01,458 Apartment hunting, and she found one. 84 00:03:01,619 --> 00:03:03,299 Really? In that building her aunt owns. 85 00:03:03,353 --> 00:03:04,926 She moves in next week. Who's she living with? 86 00:03:04,966 --> 00:03:05,853 No one. It's just her. 87 00:03:05,974 --> 00:03:07,063 Her own apartment? 88 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,119 I used to dream about getting married to Jordan 89 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,054 and living in our own apartment. 90 00:03:11,095 --> 00:03:12,786 Kissing him on the cheek when he comes home, 91 00:03:12,787 --> 00:03:14,643 and making dinner for him every night. 92 00:03:14,764 --> 00:03:16,497 But not anymore. Same here. 93 00:03:16,498 --> 00:03:18,070 He's been a jerk forever, Matisse. 94 00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:19,563 Are you just catching up? 95 00:03:19,603 --> 00:03:22,020 Boo, that's your phone. 96 00:03:22,021 --> 00:03:23,996 Let's not get into my background. None of them are me. 97 00:03:23,997 --> 00:03:25,157 They don't want to be you. 98 00:03:25,365 --> 00:03:26,940 Who wouldn't want to be me? 99 00:03:27,147 --> 00:03:28,804 Mom, hey, I'm at class so make it quick. 100 00:03:28,845 --> 00:03:30,834 The TV fell over? 101 00:03:30,958 --> 00:03:33,444 Did it fall on anyone? 102 00:03:33,568 --> 00:03:35,266 How can you not be sure? 103 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,758 Better not let him see you. 104 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,001 I know you can do that. I know you can do it. 105 00:03:38,208 --> 00:03:39,534 I know you can do it. I know you can do it. 106 00:03:39,617 --> 00:03:40,617 Please stop doing that! 107 00:03:40,694 --> 00:03:42,103 So just Lonnie is missing? 108 00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:43,677 Well, do you see any parts of Lonnie 109 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:45,209 sticking out from under the TV? 110 00:03:45,417 --> 00:03:46,992 Yeah, I'll wait. 111 00:03:47,074 --> 00:03:48,483 Uh, boo? 112 00:03:48,648 --> 00:03:50,140 So he's there. Good. 113 00:03:50,182 --> 00:03:51,714 Good. This is good. 114 00:03:51,797 --> 00:03:54,573 Boo. 115 00:03:54,698 --> 00:03:56,313 Were you talking on your phone? 116 00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,343 No. 117 00:03:58,467 --> 00:04:01,202 Wait, what is that? Is that screaming? 118 00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,858 It's Grant and Dominik. They're locked in the dressing room. 119 00:04:02,983 --> 00:04:04,848 Why? They know why. 120 00:04:04,972 --> 00:04:06,256 I'll be right back. 121 00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:08,161 Gather around. Next step. 122 00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:13,962 Do that. 123 00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:46,154 Bunheads 1x14 the astronaut and the ballerina original air date January 28, 2013 124 00:04:46,157 --> 00:04:51,157 sync and corrections by atrn97g for www.Addic7ed.Com 125 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,238 go! 126 00:04:57,007 --> 00:05:00,198 Pick up your feet. Go go go go. 127 00:05:00,322 --> 00:05:01,854 Bend those knees. 128 00:05:01,896 --> 00:05:04,382 It's not ballet class, come on! Let's go. 129 00:05:04,465 --> 00:05:06,121 Keep the line in the middle. 130 00:05:06,246 --> 00:05:07,846 I don't want us straggling in the front. 131 00:05:07,904 --> 00:05:09,560 Keep it going. 132 00:05:09,602 --> 00:05:13,165 Go go go! 133 00:05:13,248 --> 00:05:14,532 All right, pick up your feet. 134 00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:16,810 Come on, low. Derby stance. 135 00:05:16,935 --> 00:05:18,344 Nice feet, lolita. 136 00:05:18,427 --> 00:05:20,208 Come on. 137 00:05:23,316 --> 00:05:24,889 All right. 138 00:05:27,582 --> 00:05:28,942 You've been watching for two days, 139 00:05:28,991 --> 00:05:30,317 you want to give it a shot? 140 00:05:34,833 --> 00:05:37,774 Sure. 141 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,853 You're late. So is everyone else. 142 00:05:45,936 --> 00:05:47,259 They called. You didn't. 143 00:05:47,260 --> 00:05:49,167 I was at ballet. Michelle kept us over. 144 00:05:49,291 --> 00:05:50,531 Then I'll complain to Michelle. 145 00:05:50,576 --> 00:05:52,144 She didn't do anything wrong, 146 00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:53,383 so don't call her. 147 00:05:53,507 --> 00:05:56,480 Here. Something to entertain you until they come. 148 00:05:56,603 --> 00:05:58,337 Dad... Don't say it's too early. 149 00:05:58,461 --> 00:06:00,236 I totally is. I'm barely into my junior year. 150 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,077 We know people who planned their kids' college 151 00:06:02,135 --> 00:06:04,035 at kindergarten. That's a sickness. 152 00:06:04,157 --> 00:06:05,686 You're supposed to leave your keys. 153 00:06:05,727 --> 00:06:07,336 I parked my own car. 154 00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:09,359 After running it through the valet area. 155 00:06:09,483 --> 00:06:10,843 Is that why all those Chinese guys 156 00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:12,208 were staring at me? 157 00:06:12,290 --> 00:06:14,066 Hey, Claire. Hi, guys. 158 00:06:14,189 --> 00:06:15,593 Hey, Ginny. Hi, Mr. segal. 159 00:06:15,635 --> 00:06:16,667 Where's Alice? 160 00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:17,822 She's down for the count. 161 00:06:17,864 --> 00:06:19,144 She's got this awful cold. 162 00:06:19,185 --> 00:06:21,167 Mom has a cold? 163 00:06:21,249 --> 00:06:23,436 Can I get you something to drink, Claire? 164 00:06:23,437 --> 00:06:25,171 I'd love a drink. 165 00:06:25,212 --> 00:06:26,699 Can you do a gay marine? 166 00:06:26,822 --> 00:06:29,176 You just muddle some mint leaves and some lime 167 00:06:29,299 --> 00:06:30,866 with cane sugar and orange liqueur 168 00:06:30,867 --> 00:06:32,726 and then you add some ice and some rum 169 00:06:32,849 --> 00:06:34,295 and you top it all with apple juice. 170 00:06:34,376 --> 00:06:35,324 It's a Chinese restaurant, mom. 171 00:06:35,325 --> 00:06:36,731 They don't do gay marines. 172 00:06:36,772 --> 00:06:39,331 White wine is okay, I guess. 173 00:06:39,454 --> 00:06:40,982 I'll have whatever you have on tap. 174 00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:43,005 White wine is actually great. 175 00:06:43,212 --> 00:06:45,028 You're in a chipper mood, Claire. 176 00:06:45,152 --> 00:06:46,308 I am. 177 00:06:46,349 --> 00:06:47,711 Because... 178 00:06:47,835 --> 00:06:50,931 I am not gonna let it get me down. 179 00:06:51,055 --> 00:06:52,458 Let what get you down? 180 00:06:52,459 --> 00:06:54,688 Here we go. 181 00:06:54,812 --> 00:06:57,867 Hello, Ginny's father is marrying faye mendelson 182 00:06:57,991 --> 00:06:58,941 in less than a week. 183 00:06:58,982 --> 00:07:00,344 Yeah, we're going. 184 00:07:00,468 --> 00:07:01,664 You are? 185 00:07:01,665 --> 00:07:03,067 If that's okay? 186 00:07:03,068 --> 00:07:05,091 Oh, of course it is. 187 00:07:05,215 --> 00:07:06,289 I want you to go, Dougie, 188 00:07:06,371 --> 00:07:07,775 really I do. 189 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,549 So how's the realestate business 190 00:07:09,550 --> 00:07:10,830 treating you these days, Claire? 191 00:07:10,871 --> 00:07:12,893 I hear it's, you know... Have you seen... 192 00:07:12,894 --> 00:07:16,279 That insane wedding blog that they have? 193 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,971 No, not me. Yes, I have. Many times. 194 00:07:18,095 --> 00:07:20,903 Faye mendelson is chronicling their whole stupid life 195 00:07:20,944 --> 00:07:22,079 on this blog 196 00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,064 with photographs and diary entries. 197 00:07:24,267 --> 00:07:26,130 Gil is surfing now 198 00:07:26,252 --> 00:07:28,885 and the man is 45. 199 00:07:28,926 --> 00:07:30,506 He's starting to surf. 200 00:07:30,546 --> 00:07:31,600 He likes it, mom. 201 00:07:31,803 --> 00:07:32,923 And all those photos of faye 202 00:07:32,977 --> 00:07:34,598 cuddling her dog like that, 203 00:07:34,679 --> 00:07:37,473 it's just bestial. Call the spca. 204 00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,513 What's so funny? 205 00:07:40,635 --> 00:07:43,431 Nothing. I guess. 206 00:07:43,512 --> 00:07:45,943 Mom. You're being busted by the valet police. 207 00:07:46,145 --> 00:07:47,482 Bring 'em on. 208 00:07:47,563 --> 00:07:48,982 Come on, Claire. Let's go give them your keys 209 00:07:49,184 --> 00:07:51,494 before this becomes an international incident. 210 00:07:51,615 --> 00:07:53,398 All right. 211 00:07:53,479 --> 00:07:54,977 You're really going to the wedding, Dougie? 212 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,760 I mean, I know you knew him first, 213 00:07:56,963 --> 00:07:58,097 but he's changed so much. 214 00:07:58,260 --> 00:08:00,204 Wow. She's on that blog night and day 215 00:08:00,205 --> 00:08:02,027 commenting anonymously. 216 00:08:02,189 --> 00:08:03,322 The website blocks dirty words, 217 00:08:03,323 --> 00:08:04,723 or there would be some saucy things 218 00:08:04,823 --> 00:08:06,808 written about those dogs. Believe me. 219 00:08:06,889 --> 00:08:08,875 Oh, check this out. 220 00:08:08,916 --> 00:08:10,252 What is that? A box? 221 00:08:10,414 --> 00:08:11,670 That's my bridesmaid dress. 222 00:08:11,710 --> 00:08:13,390 This has got to be a mistake. It's not. 223 00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:14,912 It's a giant rectangle, why? 224 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:16,856 Because every time I go to my dad and faye's place, 225 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,275 faye stares at my boobs. 226 00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:19,774 She told my dad that they remind her 227 00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:21,556 of my mom's boobs and she doesn't want to be reminded 228 00:08:21,637 --> 00:08:22,957 of my mom's boobs at the wedding. 229 00:08:23,015 --> 00:08:24,554 So she's forcing me to wear a dress 230 00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:25,836 shaped like a shower curtain. 231 00:08:25,932 --> 00:08:27,310 Cruel and unusual. 232 00:08:27,431 --> 00:08:29,173 I don't want to look at it anymore. 233 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,592 So where have you been? 234 00:08:30,673 --> 00:08:31,604 What do you mean? 235 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:32,536 I mean where have you been? 236 00:08:32,658 --> 00:08:33,550 I never see you anymore. 237 00:08:33,590 --> 00:08:35,089 I see you every day at school. 238 00:08:35,170 --> 00:08:36,466 You're skipping ballet. You don't answer my texts. 239 00:08:36,588 --> 00:08:37,966 Dad's got me touring colleges. 240 00:08:38,087 --> 00:08:39,708 Really? We just got back from driving around 241 00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:40,883 u.C. Santa Barbara. 242 00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:42,260 Really? Yeah. 243 00:08:42,382 --> 00:08:43,880 Okay, well at least answer my texts. 244 00:08:43,921 --> 00:08:44,950 Some of them are even important. 245 00:08:45,074 --> 00:08:46,144 I will. I promise. 246 00:08:46,145 --> 00:08:48,119 Here. 247 00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,272 While you have a shot. 248 00:08:49,313 --> 00:08:50,507 Good thinking. 249 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,447 Of all the gin joints in all the towns 250 00:09:05,529 --> 00:09:08,287 in all the world, she has to walk into mine. 251 00:09:08,369 --> 00:09:10,139 "Casablanca." 252 00:09:10,262 --> 00:09:11,579 I know "Casablanca". 253 00:09:11,661 --> 00:09:13,473 Okay. I've seen "Casablanca." 254 00:09:13,555 --> 00:09:15,324 I can spell Casablanca. 255 00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:16,517 I've been to Casablanca. 256 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:17,760 I was just trying to be cute. 257 00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:18,987 I thought "hey there" would be boring 258 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:20,016 so I thought I'd throw in a... 259 00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:22,280 Never mind. Starting again. 260 00:09:22,486 --> 00:09:24,543 Hey there. Hey. 261 00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:25,943 For me? Yep. 262 00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:27,219 Guilt gift? Yep. 263 00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:28,493 I like the wrapping paper. 264 00:09:28,494 --> 00:09:29,894 It's my 2004 tax return. 265 00:09:30,058 --> 00:09:31,129 Nice. 266 00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:34,297 "Finding Nemo." 267 00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:35,491 See? It's the perfect thing for us 268 00:09:35,574 --> 00:09:36,397 'cause you're an expert on the ocean, 269 00:09:36,602 --> 00:09:37,714 and I like talking fish. 270 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,442 Very nice. Thank you. 271 00:09:40,636 --> 00:09:41,636 Sorry for what I said. 272 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,353 No worries. 273 00:09:43,476 --> 00:09:45,081 I talk, therefore I am. 274 00:09:45,122 --> 00:09:46,644 Not always a bad thing. 275 00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:48,743 Can I buy you a drink? 276 00:09:48,744 --> 00:09:50,884 Yes, you can. 277 00:09:50,967 --> 00:09:52,530 Something with bourbon and an umbrella. 278 00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:55,000 What are they celebrating? 279 00:09:55,123 --> 00:09:55,947 Tuesday. 280 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:57,840 My favorite holiday. 281 00:09:57,922 --> 00:09:59,691 So guess what I did? Safer not to. 282 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,215 I went online and read your thesis. 283 00:10:01,256 --> 00:10:03,849 You're kidding. No. 284 00:10:03,931 --> 00:10:05,001 I'm impressed. 285 00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:06,193 Well, don't be. I only understood 286 00:10:06,194 --> 00:10:07,470 about 1/10 of it. Plankton. 287 00:10:07,594 --> 00:10:09,035 I got that. And your name. 288 00:10:09,116 --> 00:10:10,516 And I think you mentioned orca 289 00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:11,833 and I did see that movie. 290 00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:13,150 That's probably less than 1/10, right? 291 00:10:13,232 --> 00:10:14,425 Did I mention I didn't finish high school? 292 00:10:14,549 --> 00:10:16,050 Points for trying. 293 00:10:18,239 --> 00:10:20,144 Guess that alcohol buzz is starting to wear off. 294 00:10:20,225 --> 00:10:22,210 Yep. Now they all get tired. 295 00:10:22,211 --> 00:10:24,035 And the one on the diet eats every cold French fry 296 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,212 she can find. 297 00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:26,225 They'll probably leave soon. 298 00:10:26,266 --> 00:10:27,685 And then you'll be all alone. 299 00:10:27,887 --> 00:10:29,265 Might as well just close. 300 00:10:29,468 --> 00:10:31,131 With the whole night ahead of you? 301 00:10:31,253 --> 00:10:32,549 How will you fill the time? 302 00:10:34,738 --> 00:10:36,115 And then I got into this whole thing 303 00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:37,412 with the lady I was understudying 304 00:10:37,413 --> 00:10:38,995 'cause I started dating her husband. 305 00:10:39,117 --> 00:10:41,468 They were separated... well, he said they were separated, 306 00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:42,806 but I should have known something was weird 307 00:10:42,969 --> 00:10:44,428 when he never let me come over to his house. 308 00:10:44,468 --> 00:10:47,144 I had to go to the corner of sixth and 53rd 309 00:10:47,225 --> 00:10:48,765 and get in line at this halal cart 310 00:10:48,887 --> 00:10:50,225 and I wasn't supposed to move 311 00:10:50,266 --> 00:10:51,968 till he showed up and dropped a note in my purse 312 00:10:52,009 --> 00:10:53,833 telling me which hotel to meet him at. 313 00:10:53,955 --> 00:10:55,334 And since I didn't have a phone number for him, 314 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:56,874 if he was late, I just ordered, 315 00:10:56,995 --> 00:10:58,617 and if he still didn't show I had to eat 316 00:10:58,698 --> 00:11:00,604 'cause otherwise I'm weird. Whatever. 317 00:11:00,685 --> 00:11:02,104 The point is she finally found out, 318 00:11:02,185 --> 00:11:03,482 got mad and then never missed a show 319 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,779 so I never got to go on. 320 00:11:04,982 --> 00:11:06,928 Plus I smelled like garlic sauce the entire run. 321 00:11:06,968 --> 00:11:08,590 That is not a true story. 322 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:09,642 Okay, fine, you're right. 323 00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,022 It was a Mr. softee truck. 324 00:11:11,144 --> 00:11:12,563 Scotty? 325 00:11:12,766 --> 00:11:14,712 You have flower pots? Who gave you flower pots? 326 00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:15,766 What are you doing here? 327 00:11:15,807 --> 00:11:16,901 You kill flower pots. 328 00:11:16,941 --> 00:11:18,197 The flowers and the pots. You walk by 329 00:11:18,198 --> 00:11:19,820 and they fling themselves off windowsills. 330 00:11:19,861 --> 00:11:21,725 I can't believe this. Are you a lounge singer now? 331 00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,428 Long stories to have beer by. 332 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:25,293 Wow, I just... 333 00:11:25,374 --> 00:11:27,280 Oh, sorry. This is my brother Scotty. 334 00:11:27,361 --> 00:11:28,495 Scotty, this is godot. 335 00:11:28,536 --> 00:11:29,955 Well, hello, young man. 336 00:11:30,118 --> 00:11:31,212 I'm so glad to see you. 337 00:11:31,293 --> 00:11:32,672 Come in, come in. 338 00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:34,699 Oh boy, I... 339 00:11:34,780 --> 00:11:36,400 It's okay. Another night. 340 00:11:36,401 --> 00:11:37,496 It's good to meet you. 341 00:11:37,699 --> 00:11:38,996 You too. 342 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:41,834 Seriously? Even Mrs. Robinson's 343 00:11:41,874 --> 00:11:42,766 giving you a weird look right now. 344 00:11:42,807 --> 00:11:44,185 I thought you were in Madison. 345 00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,508 Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Madison. 346 00:11:47,393 --> 00:11:49,098 So... Madison. 347 00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:50,763 Right. So I was on my way to Madison 348 00:11:50,884 --> 00:11:52,142 and I stopped at this diner 349 00:11:52,183 --> 00:11:53,685 and there was a hostess. 350 00:11:53,767 --> 00:11:54,903 Not even a waitress? 351 00:11:55,065 --> 00:11:56,446 A hostess is a step up from a waitress. 352 00:11:56,648 --> 00:11:57,826 No. 353 00:11:57,947 --> 00:11:59,124 You're a waitress first and then a hostess. 354 00:11:59,246 --> 00:12:00,383 It's a promotion. Not at all. 355 00:12:00,424 --> 00:12:01,680 Well, she was a redhead 356 00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:02,817 so one thing led to another. 357 00:12:02,818 --> 00:12:03,996 Oh no. You got married again? 358 00:12:05,741 --> 00:12:06,796 Never made it out of tupelo. Scotty! I know, I know. 359 00:12:06,918 --> 00:12:08,055 How many marriages does this make? 360 00:12:08,177 --> 00:12:09,679 Four? You're asking me? 361 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,789 No, four. This makes four. 362 00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:12,926 Oh my god. 363 00:12:12,967 --> 00:12:14,672 But you know, she was different. 364 00:12:14,712 --> 00:12:16,539 How? She spoke very little English. 365 00:12:16,742 --> 00:12:17,797 Perfect. 366 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,543 But she had these eyes that were epic. 367 00:12:19,583 --> 00:12:21,289 I felt if I could just stare in this woman's eyes 368 00:12:21,329 --> 00:12:22,709 for the rest of my life, 369 00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:24,414 I would be a very happy man. 370 00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:26,282 So what happened? Ooh, cake. 371 00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:28,271 Well, the first month was great. 372 00:12:28,392 --> 00:12:29,772 And then we started fighting, 373 00:12:29,853 --> 00:12:31,072 and then we got engaged, 374 00:12:31,153 --> 00:12:32,289 then we fought some more, 375 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:33,507 and then I found out she wore 376 00:12:33,508 --> 00:12:34,846 colored contact lenses. 377 00:12:34,887 --> 00:12:36,510 That's when I realized, big mistake. 378 00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:37,891 What else was there to think? 379 00:12:38,013 --> 00:12:39,271 Next thing I know, it's the day of the wedding 380 00:12:39,311 --> 00:12:40,814 I'm standing at the altar in my rented tux 381 00:12:40,895 --> 00:12:41,950 and she's hurtling down the aisle 382 00:12:42,072 --> 00:12:43,493 like a giant crinoline comet, 383 00:12:43,574 --> 00:12:44,507 and I'm thinking to myself, 384 00:12:44,548 --> 00:12:46,131 "I have got to get out of this." 385 00:12:46,132 --> 00:12:47,268 So you bolted. Yeah. 386 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,054 When? Right after "ymca." 387 00:12:49,175 --> 00:12:50,556 Well, you don't want to miss that. 388 00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,477 So I wrote her a note, I grabbed you some cake, 389 00:12:52,545 --> 00:12:54,006 and I exited stage left. 390 00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:55,367 Can I give you a piece of advice? 391 00:12:55,427 --> 00:12:56,482 Sure. 392 00:12:56,604 --> 00:12:58,249 If you keep getting engaged to perfect strangers 393 00:12:58,372 --> 00:12:59,687 and then bailing on the wedding night, 394 00:12:59,892 --> 00:13:01,413 you have to buy a tux. 395 00:13:01,618 --> 00:13:02,858 I keep marrying the wrong girl. 396 00:13:02,934 --> 00:13:04,331 You keep marrying mom. 397 00:13:04,372 --> 00:13:05,729 Well, that's not too disturbing of a statement. 398 00:13:05,770 --> 00:13:07,610 Well, if the creepy psychological profile fits. 399 00:13:08,729 --> 00:13:10,127 You mind if I crash here for a few days? 400 00:13:10,209 --> 00:13:11,442 Couch is all yours. 401 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,593 Thanks. 402 00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:15,142 Well, so, this is the new pad. 403 00:13:15,306 --> 00:13:16,950 It's not what I pictured at all. 404 00:13:17,032 --> 00:13:18,101 No? What'd you picture? 405 00:13:18,224 --> 00:13:20,238 Something less decorated and without a roof. 406 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,389 You're hilarious. 407 00:13:21,512 --> 00:13:22,540 How long do you plan to be here? 408 00:13:22,704 --> 00:13:23,855 Why, you gonna have your mail forwarded? 409 00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:25,376 Just asking. 410 00:13:25,499 --> 00:13:27,388 How attached are you to your toothbrush? 411 00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:29,075 There's an extra one under the sink. 412 00:13:29,157 --> 00:13:32,363 I don't know what problem you had with this girl, 413 00:13:32,569 --> 00:13:34,089 but boy, could she pick a cake. 414 00:13:43,297 --> 00:13:45,269 I know. I can't imagine what that must have felt like. 415 00:13:45,352 --> 00:13:46,584 Hey, I grew up with him. 416 00:13:46,666 --> 00:13:48,386 No one knows how flaky he is better than me. 417 00:13:48,435 --> 00:13:50,448 Hey, what'd you do to the coffee guy? He hates your guts. 418 00:13:50,654 --> 00:13:52,462 Yes, absolutely. Send it all c.O.D. 419 00:13:52,668 --> 00:13:54,641 Toss it in a box, tape it up and ship it off. 420 00:13:54,682 --> 00:13:56,449 Throw some bricks in 'cause they charge by weight. 421 00:13:56,572 --> 00:13:57,600 What are you doing? 422 00:13:57,641 --> 00:13:58,915 Getting your stuff. 423 00:13:58,916 --> 00:13:59,984 Oh good. 424 00:14:00,066 --> 00:14:01,710 Oh, I'd rip that letter up. 425 00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:03,847 I mean, seriously, it's not even remotely heartfelt or poetic. 426 00:14:03,970 --> 00:14:05,944 And it just makes him seem way smarter than he is, trust me. 427 00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,218 Hey, get my purple sweater back. 428 00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:08,657 Hold on a second, Mandy. 429 00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:10,342 You have a purple sweater? It's a very nice purple. 430 00:14:10,547 --> 00:14:11,698 Does Mandy know you're gay? 431 00:14:11,821 --> 00:14:13,014 Michelle. It might make her feel better. 432 00:14:13,015 --> 00:14:14,328 Just get the sweater. 433 00:14:14,411 --> 00:14:16,179 Mandy, there's a purple sweater? 434 00:14:16,301 --> 00:14:17,617 Oh really? 435 00:14:17,699 --> 00:14:18,699 She says it's hers. 436 00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:19,768 It is not hers. 437 00:14:19,918 --> 00:14:21,727 I believe her. Great. 438 00:14:21,809 --> 00:14:22,969 Oh no no. I'm here. I'm here. 439 00:14:23,042 --> 00:14:24,191 I'm not going anywhere, Mandy. 440 00:14:24,192 --> 00:14:25,344 I'm not my brother. 441 00:14:25,509 --> 00:14:26,988 I'm gonna check out the rest of the town. 442 00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:28,589 What stores have you not alienated yet? 443 00:14:28,672 --> 00:14:30,068 No, how bad was the sex, Mandy? 444 00:14:30,273 --> 00:14:31,710 Oh, come on. She hung up a minute ago. 445 00:14:31,833 --> 00:14:33,107 Oh, thank god. 446 00:14:33,148 --> 00:14:34,666 A purple sweater? It's more like lavender. 447 00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,637 So not better. 448 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:38,527 All right, everyone. Places at the barre. 449 00:14:39,594 --> 00:14:40,785 Port de bras. 450 00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:43,905 One. Open, two. 451 00:14:43,946 --> 00:14:45,917 And Demi plie. 452 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,889 And stretch. 453 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,695 And Demi plie. 454 00:14:49,777 --> 00:14:50,844 I'm here. 455 00:14:50,845 --> 00:14:52,363 Keep moving, boys. Keep moving. 456 00:14:52,364 --> 00:14:53,923 I'm so sorry. So so sorry. 457 00:14:53,924 --> 00:14:54,992 I am just gonna set them up here. 458 00:14:55,074 --> 00:14:56,387 Over here, guys. 459 00:14:56,388 --> 00:14:57,456 Oh, what's this? 460 00:14:57,538 --> 00:14:59,056 Beaver. 461 00:14:59,057 --> 00:15:00,618 Beaver. 462 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,588 Beaver. Beaver. 463 00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:03,780 Beaver. 464 00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:04,929 His name's beaver? 465 00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:06,243 Beaver. 466 00:15:06,326 --> 00:15:08,008 What did I say about ignoring me? 467 00:15:08,009 --> 00:15:09,774 You're not my mom. 468 00:15:09,856 --> 00:15:11,416 Okay, but right now I am your mom. 469 00:15:11,498 --> 00:15:12,566 Okay? Now come on. 470 00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:13,881 His name's beaver? Sorry, guys. 471 00:15:13,962 --> 00:15:15,769 Hugely embarrassed. So so sorry. 472 00:15:15,852 --> 00:15:17,412 Where are the legos? 473 00:15:17,494 --> 00:15:19,752 They're in the bag. This isn't all of them. 474 00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:23,037 I want to make a castle. Well, make a condo. That's fun too. 475 00:15:23,161 --> 00:15:24,310 His name's beaver? 476 00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:26,199 Yes, the kid's name is beaver. 477 00:15:26,323 --> 00:15:27,513 Deal. Boo. 478 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:29,114 I'm sorry. 479 00:15:29,278 --> 00:15:30,634 Carl was supposed to take them off my hands, 480 00:15:30,675 --> 00:15:32,810 but then he got held up at work and it was either skip ballet 481 00:15:32,892 --> 00:15:35,232 or bring them here. Okay, this is a one time thing, right? 482 00:15:35,273 --> 00:15:36,998 A one time thing. I promise. 483 00:15:37,121 --> 00:15:38,682 And Carl will be here any minute to take them. 484 00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:41,105 Alright, everyone. Let's continue. 485 00:15:41,146 --> 00:15:42,911 Demi plie. 486 00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,307 And stretch. 487 00:15:44,512 --> 00:15:45,826 And Demi plie. 488 00:15:45,827 --> 00:15:47,592 Chris, nose! 489 00:15:47,674 --> 00:15:49,604 What? What happened? I want that out of your nose right now, young man. 490 00:15:49,809 --> 00:15:51,698 You do not know whose nose that's been in. 491 00:15:51,821 --> 00:15:53,423 I'm sorry. 492 00:15:53,464 --> 00:15:55,689 And Demi plie. 493 00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:57,009 And stretch. 494 00:15:57,215 --> 00:15:58,411 And Demi plie 495 00:15:58,535 --> 00:15:59,934 ooh, purple. Beaver 496 00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:01,215 your hand is down your pants again. 497 00:16:01,256 --> 00:16:02,987 Nobody wants to see that. 498 00:16:03,111 --> 00:16:04,428 Sorry. 499 00:16:04,429 --> 00:16:05,955 I am so sorry if you guys saw that. 500 00:16:06,079 --> 00:16:08,182 I am so, so sorry. 501 00:16:08,305 --> 00:16:10,573 And Demi plie. 502 00:16:10,696 --> 00:16:11,696 And stretch. 503 00:16:11,768 --> 00:16:12,920 I got them. 504 00:16:12,921 --> 00:16:13,921 I got them, Michelle. 505 00:16:14,077 --> 00:16:15,520 Okay, guys? 506 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:17,251 Get in the car. We're going back to the house. 507 00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:19,188 Aw, I like it here. So do I, 508 00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:20,467 but we're in the way. 509 00:16:20,591 --> 00:16:21,791 So we're going to the car now. 510 00:16:21,868 --> 00:16:23,394 No! Okay, guys. 511 00:16:23,518 --> 00:16:25,084 Listen, if you get in my car, 512 00:16:25,166 --> 00:16:26,445 I'll give you candy. 513 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,887 Stranger danger! 514 00:16:28,011 --> 00:16:29,535 He's not a stranger, beaver. 515 00:16:29,536 --> 00:16:30,608 He's your uncle Carl. 516 00:16:30,691 --> 00:16:31,691 Now get in the car. 517 00:16:31,762 --> 00:16:33,165 Come on. 518 00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:36,463 Don't touch me. 519 00:16:37,823 --> 00:16:39,183 Okay, people, let's get this class 520 00:16:39,225 --> 00:16:41,699 moving again. Come on. 521 00:16:41,904 --> 00:16:43,224 You heard the woman. 522 00:16:43,306 --> 00:16:45,780 And Demi plie. 523 00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:47,470 And stretch. 524 00:16:47,552 --> 00:16:49,737 And Demi plie. 525 00:16:49,943 --> 00:16:51,139 And stretch. 526 00:16:51,222 --> 00:16:53,695 And grand plie. 527 00:16:53,819 --> 00:16:55,801 And stretch. 528 00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:58,314 Eat, mommy. But I'm off Vicky. 529 00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,467 I wanted Asian food. 530 00:16:59,508 --> 00:17:00,822 Everything's getting cold. 531 00:17:01,027 --> 00:17:03,491 And sticky. Chris, stop playing with your spoon. 532 00:17:03,614 --> 00:17:04,682 I'm still sticky. 533 00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:06,530 What is this and how did it get all over me? 534 00:17:06,653 --> 00:17:08,419 It's what our lives are now, Carl. 535 00:17:08,420 --> 00:17:09,939 We're sticky and we're tired. 536 00:17:09,980 --> 00:17:11,129 Adjust. 537 00:17:20,491 --> 00:17:21,723 Those two have kids? 538 00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:23,726 There's nothing else to do in this town. Come on. 539 00:17:25,214 --> 00:17:26,528 Greetings, seƱorita. 540 00:17:26,651 --> 00:17:28,117 He's talking to me. I guessed as much. 541 00:17:28,239 --> 00:17:29,339 Hi there. Nice tshirt. 542 00:17:29,420 --> 00:17:30,804 It's my Sunday best. 543 00:17:30,926 --> 00:17:31,863 It's good to see you again, man. 544 00:17:32,026 --> 00:17:33,492 You too. Man. 545 00:17:33,614 --> 00:17:35,568 We'll have... what do you think? Tequila shots? 546 00:17:35,609 --> 00:17:37,359 It's Christmas morning all over again. 547 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,682 He gets younger every time I see him. 548 00:17:39,763 --> 00:17:40,944 He gets hotter every time I see him. 549 00:17:41,066 --> 00:17:42,695 You disgust me with your carnal ways. 550 00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:45,586 Okay, help me find wife number four. 551 00:17:45,627 --> 00:17:47,052 Five. Whatever. 552 00:17:47,134 --> 00:17:48,885 How about blonde pixiecut behind me? 553 00:17:49,007 --> 00:17:50,066 No. Why? 554 00:17:50,188 --> 00:17:51,654 She's my manicurist. So? 555 00:17:51,694 --> 00:17:53,321 So if something goes wrong, I'll have to find another manicurist. 556 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,952 Or a town with more than one manicurist. 557 00:17:54,953 --> 00:17:56,906 Okay, back table, 558 00:17:56,907 --> 00:17:58,209 brunette with the bangs. 559 00:17:58,291 --> 00:17:59,350 Nyet. Why? 560 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,651 She's with a guy. I don't care. 561 00:18:00,652 --> 00:18:01,915 She's the mother of one of my students. 562 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,096 Fine. 563 00:18:03,299 --> 00:18:04,399 Red beret and leggings? 564 00:18:04,481 --> 00:18:05,987 Bible study teacher. Moving on. 565 00:18:06,109 --> 00:18:07,533 Ponytail by the planter? 566 00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:09,094 Bagel chip girl at the farmers' market. 567 00:18:09,164 --> 00:18:10,425 Fat broad by the window? 568 00:18:10,466 --> 00:18:11,729 She works with truly, and you can't 569 00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:13,113 sleep with truly either. 570 00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:14,498 Why not? 'Cause she's just weird. 571 00:18:14,539 --> 00:18:16,127 Look, if you're gonna block all my action tonight, 572 00:18:16,249 --> 00:18:17,755 I say you can't sleep with junior over there. 573 00:18:17,918 --> 00:18:19,301 He's the only bartender I know in town. 574 00:18:19,302 --> 00:18:21,013 If something happens, I won't be able to get a drink. 575 00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:22,195 Well, I'm not sleeping with him now, 576 00:18:22,398 --> 00:18:23,497 so ha. Good. 577 00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:24,882 Why good? 578 00:18:25,085 --> 00:18:26,266 Well, he's not your type. 579 00:18:26,388 --> 00:18:28,587 He seems kind of dumb. 580 00:18:28,709 --> 00:18:30,216 He's not dumb. I'll have you know 581 00:18:30,338 --> 00:18:31,642 he's an oceanographer. 582 00:18:31,764 --> 00:18:32,781 You're kidding. That's a thing? 583 00:18:32,822 --> 00:18:34,533 It's a thing. 584 00:18:34,574 --> 00:18:36,161 Wow, okay. 585 00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:37,831 To oceanography then. 586 00:18:37,912 --> 00:18:39,216 Hear hear. 587 00:18:42,026 --> 00:18:43,491 Ahh. 588 00:18:45,486 --> 00:18:47,156 Mm. 589 00:18:47,238 --> 00:18:49,111 You are now and will always be 590 00:18:49,233 --> 00:18:50,529 my favorite drinking buddy. 591 00:18:50,732 --> 00:18:51,732 It's good to see you too. 592 00:18:51,786 --> 00:18:52,961 Keep them coming, son. 593 00:18:53,164 --> 00:18:54,906 Tonight, we settle all family business. 594 00:18:54,988 --> 00:18:56,974 And we get to get really really drunk. 595 00:19:04,067 --> 00:19:06,012 Hey, did we pay? 596 00:19:06,053 --> 00:19:07,795 Mmm. I don't remember if we paid. 597 00:19:07,998 --> 00:19:10,429 You can pay him tomorrow. 598 00:19:10,632 --> 00:19:11,929 In kisses. 599 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:15,050 Sweet, gentle, little oceanography kisses. 600 00:19:15,090 --> 00:19:16,347 I hate running out on a check 601 00:19:16,469 --> 00:19:17,522 when I didn't intend to. 602 00:19:17,644 --> 00:19:18,901 What? 603 00:19:19,022 --> 00:19:20,521 My ukulele. 604 00:19:20,602 --> 00:19:21,454 You found it. 605 00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:22,750 Mm. 606 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,332 Oh. 607 00:19:24,493 --> 00:19:26,115 It sounds the same. 608 00:19:26,196 --> 00:19:28,952 Terrible. Yeah. The same. 609 00:19:29,114 --> 00:19:31,181 Oh man. 610 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,369 This is the only good gift mom ever got me. 611 00:19:33,410 --> 00:19:35,112 The only one I ever wanted. 612 00:19:37,787 --> 00:19:38,841 Do you remember 613 00:19:38,963 --> 00:19:41,395 that ancient console record player we had 614 00:19:41,516 --> 00:19:42,516 when we were growing up? 615 00:19:42,650 --> 00:19:43,948 The needle was big and sharp 616 00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:45,244 like a nail. 617 00:19:45,447 --> 00:19:48,810 And the speaker grills smelled like wood and cigarettes. 618 00:19:48,811 --> 00:19:50,067 I remember you playing 619 00:19:50,108 --> 00:19:53,229 Judy garland's "life is just a bowl of cherries" 620 00:19:53,310 --> 00:19:55,417 over and over and over... 621 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:56,714 I love that song. And over and over 622 00:19:56,795 --> 00:20:00,523 and over and over and over and over. 623 00:20:00,524 --> 00:20:01,658 I wonder where that is. 624 00:20:01,780 --> 00:20:03,564 Mom still has it. 625 00:20:03,767 --> 00:20:05,509 She still has everything. 626 00:20:05,590 --> 00:20:07,333 My ukulele. 627 00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,874 Thank you for finding it. 628 00:20:08,955 --> 00:20:11,062 You're welcome. 629 00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:13,494 Now maybe you can help me find my life. 630 00:20:13,615 --> 00:20:15,804 Mm, I'm gonna need a super big compass for that one. 631 00:20:15,926 --> 00:20:17,546 Ah, what am I gonna do? 632 00:20:17,668 --> 00:20:19,451 Brush your teeth. You haven't brushed your teeth. 633 00:20:19,532 --> 00:20:21,154 I always thought when I grew up, 634 00:20:21,276 --> 00:20:22,775 I'd be some kind of big shot. 635 00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,963 A fat cat with a big cigar. 636 00:20:25,004 --> 00:20:27,882 Yeah. Bossing people around. 637 00:20:27,963 --> 00:20:29,827 Do something where you wear a uniform. 638 00:20:29,867 --> 00:20:31,488 You'd look really good in a uniform. 639 00:20:31,569 --> 00:20:33,434 I would look good in a uniform. 640 00:20:33,556 --> 00:20:35,775 It's not too late to be an astronaut. 641 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,337 Or a fireman. 642 00:20:37,419 --> 00:20:38,489 Or a ballerina. 643 00:20:38,530 --> 00:20:40,585 You were supposed to be a ballerina. 644 00:20:40,708 --> 00:20:42,763 Mmm. 645 00:20:42,969 --> 00:20:45,229 Astronaut, yeah. I'll be an astronaut. 646 00:20:45,435 --> 00:20:46,997 Nice. 647 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:50,368 And tomorrow we'll figure out what your life's supposed to be. 648 00:20:52,135 --> 00:20:53,327 Ballerina. 649 00:21:02,247 --> 00:21:03,247 Watch the pivot. 650 00:21:03,316 --> 00:21:04,316 Stripy helmet girl? 651 00:21:04,343 --> 00:21:05,165 She's like your quarterback. 652 00:21:05,206 --> 00:21:06,235 She calls the plays. 653 00:21:06,276 --> 00:21:07,632 Are your pads scratchy? Very. 654 00:21:07,673 --> 00:21:09,193 They'll loosen up the more you fall. 655 00:21:09,276 --> 00:21:10,468 If I fall. You're gonna fall. 656 00:21:10,509 --> 00:21:11,865 Right. So have fun. 657 00:21:11,989 --> 00:21:13,180 Don't be mean. 658 00:21:13,181 --> 00:21:14,578 No pushing, no elbows... 659 00:21:14,702 --> 00:21:16,139 This is a sport with rules. 660 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,867 Remember it. Got it. Remember the rules. 661 00:21:17,908 --> 00:21:19,182 You're not wearing that necklace are you? 662 00:21:19,305 --> 00:21:20,128 Why? You like your head? 663 00:21:20,333 --> 00:21:21,333 Losing the necklace. 664 00:21:21,401 --> 00:21:23,087 A couple of pointers, 665 00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:25,333 bambam McGee. Look at her wrong, you're going down. 666 00:21:25,512 --> 00:21:26,910 I thought we weren't supposed to be mean. 667 00:21:27,074 --> 00:21:28,924 Groan of arc. She'll give you some slack for a while, 668 00:21:29,047 --> 00:21:30,856 then she gets rough, aggressive. Be ready. 669 00:21:30,939 --> 00:21:32,212 Oh, a lot of names to remember. 670 00:21:32,377 --> 00:21:34,718 And the twins out there, scary skate and crashley Olsen, 671 00:21:34,719 --> 00:21:35,994 do not get between them. 672 00:21:36,077 --> 00:21:39,652 They will squeeze you like a watermelon seed. 673 00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:41,502 This is the time half the girls who sign up 674 00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:42,776 quit, fyi. 675 00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:45,037 I'm not quitting. 676 00:21:45,161 --> 00:21:46,189 I'm ready. 677 00:21:46,353 --> 00:21:47,353 Good. 678 00:21:47,421 --> 00:21:49,271 Are my skates on right? 679 00:21:50,588 --> 00:21:52,107 Only one way to find out. 680 00:22:05,138 --> 00:22:07,028 Hold her. She's right behind us. 681 00:22:07,151 --> 00:22:08,344 Hold her. Hold her. 682 00:22:08,426 --> 00:22:09,494 Right here. 683 00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:20,551 You okay, Mel? 684 00:22:20,552 --> 00:22:22,772 I'm fantastic. 685 00:22:22,895 --> 00:22:25,530 Well, get back out there. 686 00:22:41,189 --> 00:22:42,412 Where the hell have you been? 687 00:22:42,493 --> 00:22:44,044 Just out. Why? Why?! 688 00:22:44,248 --> 00:22:46,001 This is not a time to go John gotti on me, Melanie. 689 00:22:46,082 --> 00:22:47,630 This is a time of emergency. 690 00:22:47,631 --> 00:22:49,141 What's this? Guess. 691 00:22:49,182 --> 00:22:50,404 The bridesmaid's dress. 692 00:22:50,445 --> 00:22:52,035 It's a tank with wings and a rumpus room. 693 00:22:52,076 --> 00:22:53,137 What's it doing here? 694 00:22:53,259 --> 00:22:54,279 It's the only place it's safe. 695 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,461 If my mother found it, she might chablisup 696 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:56,725 and take a knife to it. 697 00:22:56,848 --> 00:22:57,989 Then you wouldn't have to wear it. 698 00:22:58,030 --> 00:22:58,927 Don't joke. I wasn't joking. 699 00:22:59,050 --> 00:23:00,477 I have to wear it. I know. 700 00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:01,985 Now listen. 701 00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:03,535 Why aren't you answering your phone? 702 00:23:03,739 --> 00:23:05,370 Must be off? Flake city, 703 00:23:05,492 --> 00:23:07,123 I won't have it! Okay, sorry. 704 00:23:07,205 --> 00:23:08,265 You cannot have your phone off 705 00:23:08,388 --> 00:23:09,468 from now until the wedding. 706 00:23:09,570 --> 00:23:11,161 It's crisis time, get it? Got it. 707 00:23:11,283 --> 00:23:13,770 Faye mendelson has gone into a total defensive posture. 708 00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,034 She moved the photo shoot up a week 709 00:23:15,156 --> 00:23:16,462 to keep my mother off the scent. 710 00:23:16,543 --> 00:23:17,601 Aren't you supposed to do the photo shoot 711 00:23:17,602 --> 00:23:18,745 the day of the wedding? 712 00:23:18,908 --> 00:23:20,213 When everyone's already there, yes. 713 00:23:20,294 --> 00:23:21,314 But faye's not taking chances. 714 00:23:21,355 --> 00:23:22,986 Oh, she is going to great expense 715 00:23:23,067 --> 00:23:24,861 to make sure my mother doesn't show up. 716 00:23:24,943 --> 00:23:26,697 And she's bringing a trampoline. 717 00:23:26,818 --> 00:23:27,756 Why? 718 00:23:27,757 --> 00:23:28,940 I don't know. 719 00:23:29,062 --> 00:23:30,203 You'll come with me to the photo shoot? 720 00:23:30,326 --> 00:23:31,507 Help with the dress, the makeup, 721 00:23:31,508 --> 00:23:32,648 maybe suicide assistance? 722 00:23:32,649 --> 00:23:33,649 Absolutely. 723 00:23:33,711 --> 00:23:35,341 Hi, everyone. 724 00:23:35,545 --> 00:23:36,727 Hey. 725 00:23:36,850 --> 00:23:38,359 Hey. Hey. 726 00:23:42,681 --> 00:23:44,557 Hello? Mom? 727 00:23:44,679 --> 00:23:46,515 Okay, how do you know 728 00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:47,573 faye mendelson is getting a massage 729 00:23:47,574 --> 00:23:48,880 and left her dog in the car? 730 00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:50,388 Are you following her? 731 00:23:50,592 --> 00:23:52,509 What does "kind of following her" mean? 732 00:23:52,631 --> 00:23:54,343 You're either following her or you're not. 733 00:23:54,384 --> 00:23:55,486 No, mom. 734 00:23:57,647 --> 00:23:58,789 Hey. 735 00:24:01,724 --> 00:24:03,322 Hi, cozette. Oh, we're talking. 736 00:24:03,363 --> 00:24:05,082 Yeah, sorry. No worries. 737 00:24:05,205 --> 00:24:06,843 No, she will know who it is 738 00:24:06,884 --> 00:24:08,398 if something happens to her dog. 739 00:24:08,399 --> 00:24:10,119 She will know. 740 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:12,043 I get what's going on. 741 00:24:12,125 --> 00:24:13,313 What's going on? 742 00:24:13,518 --> 00:24:16,221 Group dynamics are naturally resistant to alteration. 743 00:24:16,262 --> 00:24:17,531 What is that, like physics? 744 00:24:17,654 --> 00:24:18,924 Madonna. 745 00:24:19,006 --> 00:24:20,807 So why don't you skate for the team? 746 00:24:20,889 --> 00:24:22,240 I thought that's why you gave me the flyer. 747 00:24:22,322 --> 00:24:23,592 My brother and I do the music. 748 00:24:23,633 --> 00:24:24,900 When you saw me the other day, we were getting our 749 00:24:24,901 --> 00:24:25,901 set list together. 750 00:24:26,049 --> 00:24:27,049 The dog is innocent. 751 00:24:27,113 --> 00:24:27,973 He's an innocent party. 752 00:24:28,055 --> 00:24:29,611 Do not touch the dog! 753 00:24:29,693 --> 00:24:31,331 You need a name, you know. 754 00:24:31,372 --> 00:24:32,395 For what? 755 00:24:32,518 --> 00:24:34,279 A skater name. Everyone's got a name. 756 00:24:34,361 --> 00:24:36,245 Oh, yeah. I haven't really thought about it. 757 00:24:36,286 --> 00:24:37,514 We'll think about it. My brother and me 758 00:24:37,555 --> 00:24:39,193 named half the team. Leave it to us. 759 00:24:39,275 --> 00:24:40,595 So you're walking down the street 760 00:24:40,790 --> 00:24:41,990 away from faye mendelson's car 761 00:24:42,100 --> 00:24:43,410 and the dog is fine. 762 00:24:43,411 --> 00:24:45,417 Okay. Go home. Chablisup. 763 00:24:45,499 --> 00:24:46,645 I'll see you later. 764 00:24:48,079 --> 00:24:50,330 We should get downstairs. 765 00:24:50,331 --> 00:24:51,723 Right behind you. 766 00:24:57,006 --> 00:24:58,399 I don't think you understand what it's like. 767 00:24:58,521 --> 00:24:59,913 Your parents are normal. 768 00:24:59,954 --> 00:25:01,470 They do normal things and eat normal food. 769 00:25:01,551 --> 00:25:03,067 And even though your mother counts the peas 770 00:25:03,231 --> 00:25:04,950 on everyone's plate to make sure everyone has the same amount, 771 00:25:05,073 --> 00:25:07,038 I think that's thoughtful. More thoughtful than wandering the house 772 00:25:07,079 --> 00:25:08,159 at night like lady MacBeth. 773 00:25:08,226 --> 00:25:09,536 Oh shoot, I forgot my shoes. 774 00:25:09,618 --> 00:25:11,829 You did not forget your shoes. I drove you off. 775 00:25:11,993 --> 00:25:13,632 I drove her off just like my mother 776 00:25:13,714 --> 00:25:14,714 drives everyone off. 777 00:25:14,901 --> 00:25:16,335 "We mock the things we are to be." 778 00:25:16,417 --> 00:25:17,522 You know who said that? Mel Brooks. 779 00:25:17,604 --> 00:25:18,792 2,000yearold man. 780 00:25:18,914 --> 00:25:20,634 He was talking about how we make fun of our parents 781 00:25:20,757 --> 00:25:22,435 and then we grow up and turn into our parents. 782 00:25:22,517 --> 00:25:24,401 And that line popped into my head yesterday 783 00:25:24,483 --> 00:25:26,489 so I started looking through old photo albums of my mother 784 00:25:26,612 --> 00:25:28,251 trying to figure out exactly when her crazy set in 785 00:25:28,415 --> 00:25:29,521 so I can be prepared. 786 00:25:29,562 --> 00:25:30,922 I think it started around college. 787 00:25:30,955 --> 00:25:31,979 That's the first time I saw her do that 788 00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:33,782 really wildeyed thing she does. 789 00:25:33,986 --> 00:25:35,626 So I guess I've got about three to four years 790 00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:36,854 before I go barking mad 791 00:25:36,936 --> 00:25:38,125 which is good. 792 00:25:38,248 --> 00:25:39,435 Now I'm ready for it. I can plan ahead. 793 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:41,361 You know, have a lot of rounded corners in my house. 794 00:25:41,402 --> 00:25:42,549 Wear soft, bouncy clothing. 795 00:25:42,672 --> 00:25:44,064 Stock up on tissue, ice cream, 796 00:25:44,105 --> 00:25:45,621 voodoo dolls. Are you Dutch? 797 00:25:45,622 --> 00:25:47,587 What? Dutch. Are you Dutch? 798 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:50,415 I... Your face reminds me of a vermeer. 799 00:25:50,538 --> 00:25:51,538 It does? 800 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:52,750 "The milkmaid." 801 00:25:52,751 --> 00:25:54,552 I drink milk. 802 00:25:54,716 --> 00:25:56,969 All right, everyone. Butts to the barre. 803 00:25:57,010 --> 00:25:59,755 Well, I should get this over there. 804 00:25:59,919 --> 00:26:01,313 Hey. 805 00:26:01,517 --> 00:26:03,525 Genius is often touched with madness. 806 00:26:03,689 --> 00:26:04,835 That's what makes it fun. 807 00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:07,662 Tick, tock. I guess so. 808 00:26:09,833 --> 00:26:11,022 Ow. 809 00:26:11,063 --> 00:26:12,414 Come on, let's go. Move move move. 810 00:26:12,415 --> 00:26:13,971 Up up up. Come on. 811 00:26:14,176 --> 00:26:16,348 There's no one in here you can date. 812 00:26:16,430 --> 00:26:17,822 I just thought I'd come watch my sister 813 00:26:17,945 --> 00:26:18,945 shape young lives. 814 00:26:19,092 --> 00:26:19,953 I'm just teaching a class. 815 00:26:19,954 --> 00:26:21,468 You are just teaching a class. 816 00:26:21,591 --> 00:26:22,738 Stop. What? 817 00:26:22,861 --> 00:26:23,804 You're being a little bit douchey. 818 00:26:23,967 --> 00:26:24,951 I'm not being a little bit douchey. 819 00:26:25,115 --> 00:26:25,934 I've never seen you in a position 820 00:26:26,016 --> 00:26:27,327 of authority before. Except that year 821 00:26:27,409 --> 00:26:28,965 you dressed up like Angie Dickinson for Halloween. 822 00:26:29,088 --> 00:26:30,236 Ha ha. Go away. 823 00:26:30,237 --> 00:26:32,242 I'm not gonna disrupt anything. 824 00:26:32,243 --> 00:26:34,250 Scotty. I'm just gonna sit right here 825 00:26:34,332 --> 00:26:36,258 and watch you teach. 826 00:26:36,340 --> 00:26:37,856 I think it'll be interesting. 827 00:26:37,979 --> 00:26:39,412 And possibly hilarious. 828 00:26:41,256 --> 00:26:43,264 All right, everyone. First position. 829 00:26:48,549 --> 00:26:51,335 De mi, straight. 830 00:26:51,376 --> 00:26:53,916 De mi, straight. 831 00:26:54,038 --> 00:26:55,472 Grand plie. 832 00:27:01,208 --> 00:27:03,092 Nice. Beautiful. 833 00:27:03,174 --> 00:27:04,270 Next group. 834 00:27:08,088 --> 00:27:10,727 All right, four turns are not better than three if you fall, dude. 835 00:27:18,078 --> 00:27:19,702 Cozette, so good, but I need that hold 836 00:27:19,823 --> 00:27:21,651 before you float through. 837 00:27:21,772 --> 00:27:22,772 I'm sorry? 838 00:27:22,951 --> 00:27:24,471 You have to hit that arabesque strong. 839 00:27:24,656 --> 00:27:27,336 And then square everything off. 840 00:27:27,580 --> 00:27:28,514 Then leading with the chin, 841 00:27:28,636 --> 00:27:30,707 arm up and then float through, okay? 842 00:27:30,829 --> 00:27:31,681 Ahh. 843 00:27:31,762 --> 00:27:33,954 Like this. 844 00:27:33,955 --> 00:27:35,052 Yes. Great. 845 00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:36,514 Perfect. Nice. 846 00:27:36,635 --> 00:27:38,382 Pointe shoes on, everyone. 847 00:27:41,874 --> 00:27:43,945 Wow, that cozette, she's very... 848 00:27:44,067 --> 00:27:45,245 Intense? And weird. 849 00:27:45,326 --> 00:27:46,503 I mean weird in a good way, 850 00:27:46,625 --> 00:27:48,128 but who the hell is she? Beats me. 851 00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:49,509 And why does she bring that sketch artist with her 852 00:27:49,631 --> 00:27:51,051 everywhere she goes? That's her brother. 853 00:27:51,052 --> 00:27:53,042 Oh, okay. Yeah, not any less weird. 854 00:27:53,123 --> 00:27:54,745 Who brings their brother with them everywhere they go? 855 00:27:54,746 --> 00:27:56,426 Oh, hey, Scotty. This is my brother Scotty. 856 00:27:56,534 --> 00:27:58,727 Nice hoofing. Making Michelle look good out there. 857 00:27:58,808 --> 00:28:01,008 Thank you from the president of "I have no coordination" 858 00:28:01,163 --> 00:28:02,163 incorporated." 859 00:28:02,301 --> 00:28:04,737 So seriously, how is she as a teacher? 860 00:28:04,778 --> 00:28:06,402 She's good. Really? 861 00:28:06,483 --> 00:28:08,108 Accept the answer and go sit down. 862 00:28:08,230 --> 00:28:09,367 I'm sorry, I have to say 863 00:28:09,407 --> 00:28:10,991 it is so weird to see you as a teacher. 864 00:28:11,153 --> 00:28:12,209 I know, right? 865 00:28:12,291 --> 00:28:13,291 Thanks, Matisse. 866 00:28:13,346 --> 00:28:14,199 You guys have to understand, 867 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,337 when Michelle was a kid, 868 00:28:15,418 --> 00:28:16,595 she hated her ballet teacher. 869 00:28:16,717 --> 00:28:17,773 Okay, we're in the middle of a class here. 870 00:28:17,854 --> 00:28:19,254 No, it was like a deep deep hatred. 871 00:28:19,356 --> 00:28:20,535 An obsessive hatred. 872 00:28:20,656 --> 00:28:22,645 And then one night she saw this movie. 873 00:28:22,646 --> 00:28:25,975 And it had... Margaret o'brien, 874 00:28:26,138 --> 00:28:27,316 remember? No. 875 00:28:27,519 --> 00:28:28,940 So, Margaret o'brien was this ballet student 876 00:28:29,021 --> 00:28:31,133 and she idolized this old ballerina. 877 00:28:31,255 --> 00:28:33,569 She wasn't old. She was older 878 00:28:33,691 --> 00:28:34,827 than Margaret o'brien. 879 00:28:34,828 --> 00:28:37,022 And then one day, this other ballerina comes to town 880 00:28:37,062 --> 00:28:38,686 and steals the lead in "swan lake" 881 00:28:38,808 --> 00:28:40,311 from Margaret o'brien's ballerina. 882 00:28:40,392 --> 00:28:42,301 So she decides to sabotage the new ballerina 883 00:28:42,504 --> 00:28:43,824 by turning off the stage lights, 884 00:28:43,906 --> 00:28:46,299 but she opens a trapdoor in the floor by mistake, 885 00:28:46,381 --> 00:28:47,702 and the ballerina falls into it. 886 00:28:47,784 --> 00:28:48,784 Oh my god, what happened? 887 00:28:48,897 --> 00:28:50,383 Paralyzed, wheelchair. 888 00:28:50,424 --> 00:28:51,424 That's terrible. 889 00:28:51,496 --> 00:28:52,899 To you. To Michelle, it was inspiration. 890 00:28:53,105 --> 00:28:54,178 Okay, Scotty. 891 00:28:54,301 --> 00:28:56,529 So Michelle decides to cut a hole in the floor 892 00:28:56,570 --> 00:28:57,849 of her ballet class 893 00:28:57,973 --> 00:28:59,013 so that old lady vinshtick 894 00:28:59,128 --> 00:29:00,242 would fall in and paralyze herself. 895 00:29:00,448 --> 00:29:01,520 I did not. 896 00:29:01,603 --> 00:29:03,006 She breaks in in the middle of the night 897 00:29:03,130 --> 00:29:05,481 and tries to cut a hole in the floor with... 898 00:29:05,646 --> 00:29:08,821 With safety scissors and a grapefruit spoon. 899 00:29:08,945 --> 00:29:10,142 It didn't go very well. 900 00:29:10,224 --> 00:29:11,379 Wow. 901 00:29:11,544 --> 00:29:12,576 Okay, shoes back on? Great. 902 00:29:12,617 --> 00:29:14,143 Back to the center. Go. 903 00:29:16,618 --> 00:29:17,938 Nice kids. They sure are. 904 00:29:18,021 --> 00:29:19,547 So how much longer you got here? 905 00:29:19,588 --> 00:29:20,990 I'm thinking dinner. 906 00:29:21,073 --> 00:29:22,476 Don't know. Class, some bookkeeping. 907 00:29:22,517 --> 00:29:24,249 You might be on your own tonight. 908 00:29:24,373 --> 00:29:25,816 Oh. 909 00:29:25,899 --> 00:29:27,096 Okay. 910 00:29:27,220 --> 00:29:29,488 Echappe, echappe, echappe, pas de chat. 911 00:29:29,612 --> 00:29:31,953 Five, six, seven, eight. 912 00:29:40,715 --> 00:29:42,717 Sonic youth segueing into little Richard totally worked last night. 913 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,074 As predicted. 914 00:29:44,238 --> 00:29:46,038 Lil' Wayne segueing into Brad Paisley did not. 915 00:29:46,083 --> 00:29:47,273 Did you know he was country? 916 00:29:47,395 --> 00:29:49,241 The Paisley thing threw me off. 917 00:29:49,406 --> 00:29:51,866 You blending in? 918 00:29:51,948 --> 00:29:53,507 Me? Yeah you. 919 00:29:53,630 --> 00:29:54,779 Trying to. 920 00:29:54,901 --> 00:29:55,968 The name will help. 921 00:29:56,091 --> 00:29:57,240 Just gotta think of one. 922 00:29:57,281 --> 00:29:59,495 We already did that. You're gonna like it. 923 00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:00,848 But you don't even know me. 924 00:30:00,889 --> 00:30:04,253 Yo! Cleosmacktra, get in here. 925 00:30:05,893 --> 00:30:07,821 Cleosmacktra? 926 00:30:07,944 --> 00:30:09,339 Cool. 927 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,235 That beaver. He's evil. 928 00:30:13,317 --> 00:30:14,835 There's evilness in that kid. 929 00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:16,516 At least I'm not late to class today. Good. 930 00:30:16,639 --> 00:30:18,731 The hand of Lucifer has touched that child. 931 00:30:18,854 --> 00:30:20,334 No time for the dressing room though. 932 00:30:20,371 --> 00:30:21,839 He played us against each other. 933 00:30:21,961 --> 00:30:22,816 How did we let him do that? 934 00:30:22,939 --> 00:30:24,243 He caught us at a bad time. 935 00:30:24,406 --> 00:30:25,384 I didn't call you doodoo head. 936 00:30:25,506 --> 00:30:27,096 I would never call you doodoo head. 937 00:30:27,137 --> 00:30:28,155 I can't believe that for a second 938 00:30:28,278 --> 00:30:29,580 you thought I would call you doodoo head. 939 00:30:29,581 --> 00:30:30,886 I didn't know what he was saying, okay? 940 00:30:30,968 --> 00:30:32,638 I didn't know what to think. 941 00:30:32,842 --> 00:30:33,984 He's bad. I mean, he's just a bad one. 942 00:30:34,024 --> 00:30:36,103 And we fell for it. Why did we fall for it? 943 00:30:36,184 --> 00:30:37,529 We're tired. I'm exhausted. 944 00:30:37,610 --> 00:30:40,178 Class is an hour. You and the kids stay in the vicinity, okay? 945 00:30:40,259 --> 00:30:42,379 But I thought you were going to bring them all in with you. 946 00:30:42,501 --> 00:30:44,050 Carl, I can't. I have class. 947 00:30:44,254 --> 00:30:45,558 Well, I've got something too. 948 00:30:45,559 --> 00:30:47,310 Something? What something? 949 00:30:47,392 --> 00:30:48,696 You don't have work today. 950 00:30:48,819 --> 00:30:49,837 I'm going to the gym. 951 00:30:49,959 --> 00:30:51,141 The gym. 952 00:30:51,345 --> 00:30:52,771 Yeah, it's been, like, forever. 953 00:30:52,894 --> 00:30:54,035 You're not going to the gym. 954 00:30:54,198 --> 00:30:55,094 I am going to the gym. 955 00:30:55,217 --> 00:30:56,929 No. Yes. 956 00:30:57,051 --> 00:30:58,231 Okay, fine. But I won't be here when you get back. 957 00:30:58,232 --> 00:30:59,983 I haven't had time to myself in a week! 958 00:30:59,984 --> 00:31:01,779 You knew that kids were a commitment. 959 00:31:01,942 --> 00:31:03,042 These aren't our kids. 960 00:31:03,164 --> 00:31:04,428 You know what I mean. 961 00:31:04,510 --> 00:31:05,609 Carl, please. 962 00:31:05,732 --> 00:31:07,484 Fine. I'll skip the gym. 963 00:31:07,565 --> 00:31:09,888 But if I lose definition in my glutes, 964 00:31:09,929 --> 00:31:12,374 you're to blame, okay? 965 00:31:14,901 --> 00:31:16,451 Carl, please don't be mad. 966 00:31:16,573 --> 00:31:18,407 Let's start class, losers. 967 00:31:18,447 --> 00:31:20,159 Just need to stretch a little first, 968 00:31:20,281 --> 00:31:21,912 okay, Jordan? Absolutely not. 969 00:31:21,994 --> 00:31:23,216 You three, you're my first group. 970 00:31:23,217 --> 00:31:25,416 We're starting with pirouettes. 971 00:31:25,539 --> 00:31:27,535 And tendu. 972 00:31:27,617 --> 00:31:31,693 Fourth, spot spot spot. 973 00:31:35,075 --> 00:31:36,502 Two? 974 00:31:36,584 --> 00:31:38,784 Two and then you stop. 975 00:31:38,825 --> 00:31:40,333 Margaret, how old are you? 976 00:31:40,577 --> 00:31:43,634 10. 10? 977 00:31:43,716 --> 00:31:45,916 I thought, with that attitude of yours, you were six. 978 00:31:46,039 --> 00:31:48,525 You want to know how many I could do when I was 10? 979 00:31:48,606 --> 00:31:49,625 Like a thousand. 980 00:31:49,747 --> 00:31:51,622 Do not look weak, Margaret. 981 00:31:51,663 --> 00:31:54,108 Baryshnikov never looked weak. 982 00:31:54,190 --> 00:31:55,875 Even in "sex and the city," 983 00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:57,272 the man never looked weak! 984 00:31:57,395 --> 00:31:58,793 Jordan! 985 00:31:58,916 --> 00:32:00,437 I have had it with this attitude of yours. 986 00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:01,753 Your rudeness. 987 00:32:01,835 --> 00:32:04,219 And your baryshnikov this and baryshnikov that. 988 00:32:04,423 --> 00:32:05,616 Hey, this is not your class. No! You are getting 989 00:32:05,739 --> 00:32:06,739 a timeout, mister. 990 00:32:06,808 --> 00:32:08,328 What? Shh. Quiet. 991 00:32:08,452 --> 00:32:10,178 No no no. Look at me. 992 00:32:10,301 --> 00:32:12,273 Look at me. 993 00:32:12,274 --> 00:32:13,836 Okay, we are here to learn 994 00:32:13,959 --> 00:32:15,603 and to have a good time. 995 00:32:15,726 --> 00:32:17,946 That's what ballet is all about. 996 00:32:18,069 --> 00:32:19,385 Now, I'm going to have to answer that. 997 00:32:19,589 --> 00:32:21,234 Okay? Because I've got school. 998 00:32:21,358 --> 00:32:23,001 And a job. And three kids. 999 00:32:23,125 --> 00:32:25,262 And that could be news that one of them just shoved a dump truck 1000 00:32:25,467 --> 00:32:26,988 up his nose, okay? 1001 00:32:27,152 --> 00:32:28,673 So I'm going to take five minutes. 1002 00:32:28,756 --> 00:32:30,523 We're all going to take five minutes here. 1003 00:32:30,564 --> 00:32:32,783 And when I get back, I expect to see 1004 00:32:32,989 --> 00:32:35,455 a brandnew Jordan. 1005 00:32:38,661 --> 00:32:40,634 Yeah? Boo, I'm looking for Melanie. Is she there? 1006 00:32:40,675 --> 00:32:41,826 No. No? 1007 00:32:41,949 --> 00:32:43,069 Are you kidding? Look again. 1008 00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:44,415 She's gotta be there. I need her here. 1009 00:32:44,497 --> 00:32:45,936 She promised. Honey, honey, 1010 00:32:46,059 --> 00:32:47,826 take off the frowny face and put on the smiley face. 1011 00:32:47,908 --> 00:32:49,142 What? Boo, listen... 1012 00:32:49,224 --> 00:32:50,292 Do you have a juice box? 1013 00:32:50,374 --> 00:32:51,813 Do you want juice? Boo. Listen. 1014 00:32:52,018 --> 00:32:53,251 You've got to lose those kids. I know. 1015 00:32:53,334 --> 00:32:54,731 Okay, what am I gonna do? 1016 00:32:54,772 --> 00:32:57,238 Look, call Charlie. He probably knows where she is. 1017 00:32:57,443 --> 00:32:58,759 I will. 1018 00:33:01,472 --> 00:33:03,445 All right, everyone. Let's start. 1019 00:33:03,486 --> 00:33:04,883 Big smiles now. 1020 00:33:06,774 --> 00:33:08,993 Jordan? 1021 00:33:09,076 --> 00:33:11,213 Okay, can everyone come out to the center, please? 1022 00:33:13,802 --> 00:33:16,720 And tendu. Fourth. 1023 00:33:18,734 --> 00:33:20,296 Very nice. 1024 00:33:20,419 --> 00:33:22,762 All right, let's try it again, please? 1025 00:33:22,885 --> 00:33:24,489 And tendu. 1026 00:33:35,051 --> 00:33:37,229 Pick up your feet. 1027 00:33:39,695 --> 00:33:42,566 Damn it, McGee, I'll get you for that. 1028 00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,176 Oh my god. 1029 00:33:53,565 --> 00:33:55,061 I forgot to go to the photo shoot. 1030 00:33:55,142 --> 00:33:57,042 Yeah? 1031 00:33:57,123 --> 00:33:58,123 It went bad, didn't it? 1032 00:33:58,175 --> 00:33:59,549 Oh yes, yes. Very bad. 1033 00:33:59,711 --> 00:34:01,652 Very bad indeed. What's on the dress? 1034 00:34:01,774 --> 00:34:03,714 Punch. Punch? From what? 1035 00:34:03,715 --> 00:34:04,885 Punch from when my mother came 1036 00:34:04,886 --> 00:34:06,383 and threw it all over us. Oh my god. 1037 00:34:06,464 --> 00:34:07,636 Where did your mother get punch? 1038 00:34:07,677 --> 00:34:10,305 Oh, there are a variety of places to get punch, Melanie. 1039 00:34:10,346 --> 00:34:11,921 Ralphs has punch, 1040 00:34:11,922 --> 00:34:13,540 and vons, and albertsons, 1041 00:34:13,662 --> 00:34:15,462 your local pharmacy stocks many punch products 1042 00:34:15,643 --> 00:34:18,270 to throw on people. Punch is very easy to obtain. 1043 00:34:18,271 --> 00:34:21,304 Ginny, I am so sorry. 1044 00:34:21,385 --> 00:34:23,366 I should have told you why I haven't been around. 1045 00:34:23,488 --> 00:34:25,549 But I got caught up in all this stuff, 1046 00:34:25,550 --> 00:34:26,964 and I'm sucking at school 1047 00:34:27,086 --> 00:34:29,957 and my dad is putting college pamphlets on my pillow, 1048 00:34:30,078 --> 00:34:32,544 and under my breakfast plate, and in my sock drawer. 1049 00:34:32,545 --> 00:34:35,861 And he keeps going on and on about the s.A.T.S 1050 00:34:35,982 --> 00:34:37,154 and what I'm gonna major in 1051 00:34:37,357 --> 00:34:38,408 and what I'm gonna do for a living 1052 00:34:38,530 --> 00:34:40,025 and what retirement home I'm gonna end up in. 1053 00:34:40,026 --> 00:34:42,209 And I found this, this... 1054 00:34:42,249 --> 00:34:43,503 Skating thing, 1055 00:34:43,544 --> 00:34:46,051 and it made some kind of stupid sense. 1056 00:34:46,172 --> 00:34:47,172 And I'm just so... 1057 00:34:47,304 --> 00:34:49,447 So sorry. 1058 00:34:51,509 --> 00:34:53,006 Say something. 1059 00:34:53,086 --> 00:34:55,877 You should have been there. 1060 00:35:00,365 --> 00:35:02,265 Where are we? What is this? 1061 00:35:02,467 --> 00:35:04,448 It's roller derby. 1062 00:35:04,570 --> 00:35:06,187 Roller derby? You're in roller derby? 1063 00:35:06,268 --> 00:35:08,412 I'm Cleosmacktra. 1064 00:35:10,312 --> 00:35:11,969 How did this enter your world? 1065 00:35:11,970 --> 00:35:13,345 That night at the oyster bar, 1066 00:35:13,465 --> 00:35:15,286 when I pulled the chair out from underneath godot. 1067 00:35:15,447 --> 00:35:16,741 Godot got you into this? 1068 00:35:16,822 --> 00:35:17,822 Not godot. 1069 00:35:17,874 --> 00:35:19,369 She gave me a flyer. 1070 00:35:19,491 --> 00:35:20,542 She? 1071 00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:24,949 You! 1072 00:35:24,950 --> 00:35:26,769 Hi? 1073 00:35:26,971 --> 00:35:28,265 Should you run? 1074 00:35:30,247 --> 00:35:32,754 You stay out of this. You're ruining everything! 1075 00:35:32,916 --> 00:35:34,614 I don't know who you are or where you're from, 1076 00:35:34,654 --> 00:35:37,444 or why you know French, or why you're so close with Mitch alvarado, 1077 00:35:37,525 --> 00:35:39,021 but Melanie is my friend! 1078 00:35:39,183 --> 00:35:39,992 And it's the four of us. 1079 00:35:40,154 --> 00:35:42,418 And you need to stay the hell away! 1080 00:35:42,580 --> 00:35:44,237 And I'm Norwegian! 1081 00:35:50,828 --> 00:35:52,444 Does she skate? 1082 00:36:06,925 --> 00:36:08,026 Is everyone decent? Yep. 1083 00:36:08,147 --> 00:36:09,707 I was yelling your name for 20 minutes. 1084 00:36:09,778 --> 00:36:11,285 Didn't you hear me? What do you want, Scotty? 1085 00:36:11,407 --> 00:36:13,608 I just need a key to get in your place. 1086 00:36:13,689 --> 00:36:15,239 What happened to the key I gave you yesterday? 1087 00:36:15,361 --> 00:36:16,624 I don't know. Misplaced it. 1088 00:36:16,664 --> 00:36:18,824 Is there like a paradise lost and found somewhere? 1089 00:36:18,865 --> 00:36:20,251 Oh. 1090 00:36:20,373 --> 00:36:21,758 Is something wrong? 1091 00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:23,959 You're suddenly acting like every other woman in my life. 1092 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,629 Michelle? 1093 00:36:25,711 --> 00:36:27,260 You told me the ukulele was lost. 1094 00:36:27,342 --> 00:36:28,604 What? When I asked you where it was, 1095 00:36:28,645 --> 00:36:30,245 you told me to my face that it was lost. 1096 00:36:30,398 --> 00:36:31,824 It wasn't lost. You had it the whole time. 1097 00:36:31,906 --> 00:36:33,535 Who cares? I do. I wanted my ukulele. 1098 00:36:33,658 --> 00:36:35,736 That was like 20 years ago. Is that your excuse? 1099 00:36:35,899 --> 00:36:37,731 Oh jeez, I'm sorry. You know, if you missed it that much 1100 00:36:37,732 --> 00:36:38,996 maybe you should have just bought a new one. 1101 00:36:39,159 --> 00:36:40,301 They're very hot now. 1102 00:36:40,382 --> 00:36:42,379 Eddie vedder just did a whole ukulele album. 1103 00:36:42,501 --> 00:36:43,927 That's how out of ideas he is. 1104 00:36:44,131 --> 00:36:45,313 I'll get it for you for Christmas. You're undermining me. 1105 00:36:45,434 --> 00:36:46,434 What? How? 1106 00:36:46,576 --> 00:36:48,246 Your cracks, your jokes in front of the girls. 1107 00:36:48,328 --> 00:36:50,122 I'm being funny. It's humor. 1108 00:36:50,326 --> 00:36:51,385 It's what sets us apart from the apes. 1109 00:36:51,466 --> 00:36:52,648 That whole Margaret o'brien thing. 1110 00:36:52,771 --> 00:36:54,319 That was funny? I can't... 1111 00:36:54,523 --> 00:36:55,826 You basically told them to cut a hole in the floor 1112 00:36:55,908 --> 00:36:57,548 so I'll fall through and paralyze myself. 1113 00:36:57,661 --> 00:36:59,657 I didn't tell them to do it. I told them that you wanted to do it 1114 00:36:59,739 --> 00:37:01,858 to your teacher. I thought it was a cute story. 1115 00:37:01,899 --> 00:37:04,099 You were planting ideas. I told them the plot of a movie. 1116 00:37:04,303 --> 00:37:06,544 I did not write the movie. How the hell am I the bad guy in this? 1117 00:37:06,666 --> 00:37:07,888 This is my life now, Scotty. 1118 00:37:08,052 --> 00:37:09,805 This is my home. This is my job. 1119 00:37:09,886 --> 00:37:11,434 Those are my students. 1120 00:37:11,638 --> 00:37:14,081 Oh boy. You have snapped many many caps, my friend. 1121 00:37:14,082 --> 00:37:15,021 I'm an authority figure now. 1122 00:37:15,143 --> 00:37:16,528 Authority figure? Come on. 1123 00:37:16,569 --> 00:37:18,444 They look up to me. They're isolated kids. 1124 00:37:18,526 --> 00:37:20,076 You're this strange exotic creature. 1125 00:37:20,157 --> 00:37:21,788 You're a mermaid. You're tinker bell. 1126 00:37:21,829 --> 00:37:23,663 So that's why you're here? To crap all over my new life? 1127 00:37:23,867 --> 00:37:24,805 I worked hard for this life. 1128 00:37:24,968 --> 00:37:26,558 You got drunk and married a guy. 1129 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:27,944 Hard work. Hey! 1130 00:37:27,985 --> 00:37:29,698 What? I've done it too. No judgments. 1131 00:37:29,861 --> 00:37:30,880 Well, he was a great guy. 1132 00:37:31,002 --> 00:37:32,511 And his mother has been really really good to me. 1133 00:37:32,632 --> 00:37:34,060 You're living in a guest house. What does that mean? 1134 00:37:34,182 --> 00:37:35,813 It means, it's a one room guest house. 1135 00:37:35,895 --> 00:37:39,197 For a guest. Oh, so square footage is the measure of stability now? 1136 00:37:39,401 --> 00:37:40,828 What's your square footage, Scotty, huh? 1137 00:37:40,909 --> 00:37:42,296 Enjoying your six feet of my couch? 1138 00:37:42,297 --> 00:37:44,212 Matt Johnson. What? 1139 00:37:44,294 --> 00:37:45,965 Matt Johnson. He was my best friend in school, 1140 00:37:46,047 --> 00:37:47,677 you dated him, and as soon as you guys broke up 1141 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:48,980 he wouldn't talk to me anymore. 1142 00:37:48,981 --> 00:37:50,042 What are you yammering about? 1143 00:37:50,124 --> 00:37:51,388 You said you never took anything from me? 1144 00:37:51,429 --> 00:37:52,692 You took Matt Johnson. 1145 00:37:52,733 --> 00:37:54,201 I have no memory of Matt Johnson. 1146 00:37:54,242 --> 00:37:55,261 Oh, come on, Michelle. 1147 00:37:55,383 --> 00:37:57,382 Matt Johnson? He was my best friend. 1148 00:37:57,463 --> 00:37:59,094 The two amigos? 1149 00:37:59,135 --> 00:38:01,703 Do you mean Eric Johnson? 1150 00:38:01,785 --> 00:38:02,967 Yes. Eric Johnson. 1151 00:38:03,089 --> 00:38:03,986 Wow. Doesn't change what happened. 1152 00:38:04,027 --> 00:38:05,087 He was so important to you 1153 00:38:05,168 --> 00:38:06,147 you couldn't remember his name. 1154 00:38:06,229 --> 00:38:07,167 Perhaps I blacked it out. Too much trauma. 1155 00:38:07,248 --> 00:38:08,920 Just own up to it, Scotty. 1156 00:38:09,042 --> 00:38:10,795 Take some responsibility. What does that have to do with... 1157 00:38:10,917 --> 00:38:12,752 You never take responsibility for anything. 1158 00:38:12,874 --> 00:38:14,634 Oh, says the girl who set every float on fire 1159 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:16,014 at the fourth of July parade with a cigarette 1160 00:38:16,015 --> 00:38:17,522 and blamed it on rap music. 1161 00:38:17,563 --> 00:38:18,909 Why didn't you make me graduate high school? 1162 00:38:18,950 --> 00:38:20,906 You did graduate. No. 1163 00:38:20,947 --> 00:38:22,537 I was there. That was the ceremony. 1164 00:38:22,659 --> 00:38:24,046 I didn't have the credits to get the diploma. 1165 00:38:24,168 --> 00:38:25,168 Oh, bummer. 1166 00:38:25,228 --> 00:38:26,615 You should have made me graduate. 1167 00:38:26,656 --> 00:38:28,612 It was your responsibility to make sure I was prepared for life. 1168 00:38:28,735 --> 00:38:30,161 Why me? You're my big brother. 1169 00:38:30,243 --> 00:38:31,548 By a year! 1170 00:38:31,752 --> 00:38:33,056 All I was supposed to do was make sure you had beer. 1171 00:38:33,138 --> 00:38:34,688 Why is this funny? Why are you making this funny? 1172 00:38:34,769 --> 00:38:37,175 Because all I wanted was a key. 1173 00:38:37,337 --> 00:38:38,337 That's all. 1174 00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:39,950 And suddenly you're freaking out 1175 00:38:40,032 --> 00:38:41,829 and you said ukulele like 60 times 1176 00:38:42,033 --> 00:38:44,156 and I don't even know why we're having this argument. 1177 00:38:44,238 --> 00:38:46,238 Don't do that. That is so mom. 1178 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,238 She starts stuff, and then while you're standing there 1179 00:38:48,361 --> 00:38:49,993 yelling and screaming and pulling your hair out, 1180 00:38:50,075 --> 00:38:51,586 she says "I don't even know why we're having this argument" 1181 00:38:51,709 --> 00:38:53,587 when she knows damn well why you're having the argument. 1182 00:38:53,709 --> 00:38:55,464 She's the one who started this argument in the first place. 1183 00:38:55,587 --> 00:38:57,342 How did we suddenly get to mom? 1184 00:38:57,424 --> 00:38:59,058 You brought her up. I did not bring her up. 1185 00:38:59,098 --> 00:39:00,364 Well, by being like her, you brought her up. 1186 00:39:00,486 --> 00:39:01,646 You don't even deal with mom. 1187 00:39:01,671 --> 00:39:02,609 I deal with mom. 1188 00:39:02,691 --> 00:39:03,971 Mom needs money, I deal with it. 1189 00:39:03,998 --> 00:39:05,630 Mom needs to move, I deal with it. 1190 00:39:05,753 --> 00:39:07,508 Mom needs help hiding out from the jehovah's witnesses, 1191 00:39:07,590 --> 00:39:08,896 I deal with it! 1192 00:39:08,897 --> 00:39:10,285 Why was mom hiding out from the jehovah's witnesses? 1193 00:39:10,407 --> 00:39:11,510 It's a long story and they're a very 1194 00:39:11,592 --> 00:39:13,102 nonviolent organization so it takes a lot 1195 00:39:13,224 --> 00:39:14,488 to get them to the point 1196 00:39:14,489 --> 00:39:15,794 where they are someone you have to hide out from. 1197 00:39:15,795 --> 00:39:16,981 Well, that's your choice. 1198 00:39:17,063 --> 00:39:19,145 I washed my hands of all that a long time ago. 1199 00:39:19,185 --> 00:39:20,425 Yes, I know. How long's it been 1200 00:39:20,451 --> 00:39:22,732 since you talked to mom? 12 glorious funfilled years. 1201 00:39:22,778 --> 00:39:24,452 Oh, very mature, by the way. 1202 00:39:24,575 --> 00:39:25,717 Not much has changed. 1203 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,554 Your address, you go to a job every day, 1204 00:39:27,595 --> 00:39:29,351 but not much else. You don't know what you're talking about. 1205 00:39:29,474 --> 00:39:31,801 Yeah, it took me way longer to figure things out than it should have, 1206 00:39:31,923 --> 00:39:33,311 but look at the road map I had to follow. 1207 00:39:33,393 --> 00:39:35,311 The birds ate all those breadcrumbs, hansel. 1208 00:39:35,516 --> 00:39:37,516 And boy, do I not want to hear about all the stuff 1209 00:39:37,598 --> 00:39:39,598 you have to put up with with that crazy woman. 1210 00:39:39,761 --> 00:39:42,415 Because I've dealt with more than a lifetime's worth of crap from her. 1211 00:39:42,456 --> 00:39:44,253 Her obsession with her face and her looks, 1212 00:39:44,294 --> 00:39:45,355 and my face and my looks. 1213 00:39:45,437 --> 00:39:46,621 And her completely fictional take 1214 00:39:46,662 --> 00:39:48,009 on what our family was. 1215 00:39:48,050 --> 00:39:50,581 And if you choose to continue having negative influences 1216 00:39:50,703 --> 00:39:52,214 in your life, then you have to prepare yourself 1217 00:39:52,254 --> 00:39:53,643 for the consequences. 1218 00:39:53,766 --> 00:39:55,521 You know who told me that? Fanny, my motherinlaw. 1219 00:39:55,603 --> 00:39:57,283 She told me that you make your own family. 1220 00:39:57,358 --> 00:39:58,787 You make your own destiny. 1221 00:39:58,869 --> 00:40:00,257 And there is nothing you cannot change 1222 00:40:00,298 --> 00:40:01,441 if you are completely committed to it. 1223 00:40:01,482 --> 00:40:02,516 And I am. 1224 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,421 I am completely committed to it. 1225 00:40:04,503 --> 00:40:06,343 And it doesn't matter if you believe it or not, 1226 00:40:06,408 --> 00:40:09,016 the address has changed and my life has changed. 1227 00:40:09,181 --> 00:40:11,292 Fine. I can do this. 1228 00:42:09,470 --> 00:42:10,877 No! Do it again, Jordan! 1229 00:42:12,492 --> 00:42:14,189 No. Again. 1230 00:42:19,032 --> 00:42:20,312 You're better than this, Jordan. 1231 00:42:20,357 --> 00:42:21,433 Come on. 1232 00:42:25,656 --> 00:42:26,731 Yes. 1233 00:42:31,947 --> 00:42:33,851 I'll be better after a banana. 1234 00:42:33,853 --> 00:42:39,953 Sync and corrections by atrn97g for www.Addic7ed.Com 86832

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