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1
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,441
Freeze, Coyote!
2
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,678
♪ ♪
3
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,967
Hold it right there, Coyote!
4
00:00:34,969 --> 00:00:37,336
Ha! One step ahead of you.
5
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,671
(panting):
Señor, I am not Coyote.
6
00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:42,207
Coyote hired me
as a decoy.
7
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,642
Fartsocks!
8
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,046
Well, it's been
a great three weeks.
9
00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,581
Time to go back
to Mexico.
10
00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:52,217
You've been
a good sport, Bud.
11
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,552
(quietly):
I'm not Bud.
12
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,754
I'm just a decoy
Bud hired.
13
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:57,356
♪ ♪
14
00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,192
Ah, this is the life,
Decoy Coyote.
15
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:01,894
What the hell?
16
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,595
Are you Janice's decoy?
17
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,764
Uh, yeah.
18
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:08,000
(screeches)
19
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,908
♪ Ooh! ♪
20
00:01:15,910 --> 00:01:17,910
♪ Ha! ♪
21
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,045
♪ Ooh! ♪
22
00:01:20,047 --> 00:01:22,281
♪ Ha! ♪
23
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,085
Whoa!
24
00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:42,034
Ah, another tough day
of working for the Man.
25
00:01:42,036 --> 00:01:44,903
Hola, man. Looking good.
26
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,572
J.C., can I have my chair?
27
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,240
I'd like to
take a load off.
28
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:50,042
Sorry, Uncle Ernesto.
I can't get up.
29
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:51,910
I'm participating
in a virtual sit-in.
30
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,278
We're protesting
the destruction
31
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,481
of the red-breasted sparrow's
habitat.
32
00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,716
(bulldozers whirring,
people screaming)
33
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,587
(crackling)
34
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:04,590
Uncle Ernesto, your laptop died
for a noble cause.
35
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,558
Damn it, J.C.
I wasn't done
36
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,694
Photoshopping myself
into famous lawns.
37
00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,132
You know, J.C., it's time
you left the virtual world
38
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,900
and entered
the real one.
39
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,002
Starting tomorrow, you're
coming to work with me,
40
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:18,470
as part of my crew.
41
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,072
Yeah, you're a Mexican.
42
00:02:20,074 --> 00:02:22,474
Only babies under the age
of six days don't work.
43
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:23,942
I fixed the plumbing.
44
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,677
Gracias, baby plumber.
45
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,248
What?! 350 tickles?!
46
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,719
What the Kimmy Schmidt?
47
00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,855
Hey! Get out of here,
you ostrich!
48
00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,324
I can't see the border!
49
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:42,294
The hell you doin'? This
is government property.
50
00:02:42,296 --> 00:02:44,897
Now get!
51
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,933
(grunts)
52
00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,135
This, for my lumbar,
53
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:52,538
is actually nice.
54
00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:55,073
Got to get rid
of that office chair.
55
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,878
(instrumental hip-hop playing)
56
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,347
Gert, your brother
is really going for it.
57
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,616
Don't you want
to move a little more?
58
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,351
I stopped dancin'
three minutes ago.
59
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,954
This is just the fat
moving on its own.
60
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,556
Daddy!
61
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,558
What's the matter?
You look down.
62
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,194
Well, you're shorter than me.
It's the only way I can see you.
63
00:03:15,196 --> 00:03:17,896
But I'm also bummed 'cause
I can't get rid of this bird.
64
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,132
Well, if anyone can solve
a problem, it's you!
65
00:03:20,134 --> 00:03:22,568
You stole the money
that fixed my cleft palate,
66
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,503
nose, forehead and chin.
67
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:26,705
You were born split entirely
in half, Gert.
68
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,907
You had
Downs-The-Middle-Syndrome.
69
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,909
Wow, look at you.
70
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,844
My workin' man.
71
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,581
Ha, where'd you get that
uniform, the Idiot Store?
72
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,549
No. My uncle
gave it to me.
73
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,686
I should know better than
to tangle with a college wit.
74
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:43,188
J.C., you know, I like the
idea of you having a job.
75
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:45,190
My fiancé, bringin'
home the bacon.
76
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:46,858
It's sexy.
77
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:50,162
Really? Maybe later
I'll landscape your garden.
78
00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:53,765
Oh. I'll provide
the manure.
79
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:55,901
Welcome, J.C.
80
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,536
Everybody, this is my nephew.
81
00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:59,338
He just graduated
from college.
82
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,840
I just want to say,
I don't expect to be treated
83
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:03,909
any different on account
of my advanced degrees.
84
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,377
Also, I brought doughnuts...
85
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,612
to eat for lunch!
86
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:08,113
So please don't touch them!
87
00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:09,448
I've never had a job before.
88
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,216
Is bringing doughnuts
for everybody a thing?
89
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,252
J.C., what do you want
your nickname to be?
90
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,920
Uh, I don't know.
The Blade?
91
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:18,056
(chuckles)
I'm the Blade.
92
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,925
Pick one you can handle.
93
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,893
All right, men, let's go
over today's assignments.
94
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,362
Martinez,
you're on grass.
95
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,230
Fernandez, I'm putting you
on grass today.
96
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,565
Diaz? You take grass.
97
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,900
Lopez, grass time,
okay? Ready?
98
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,536
ALL:
¡Uno, dos, tres! Grass!
99
00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,740
Uh, Uncle Ernesto,
100
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,476
the term "backbreaking labor"
is just an expression, right?
101
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:38,877
(bones cracking)
102
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,445
Hola, Ernesto.
103
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:43,048
Happy 19th birthday,
Benito!
104
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,984
J.C., could you pick up leaves
a little faster?
105
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,786
I'm going as
fast as I can.
106
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:50,822
♪ Oh, little leaf, you've
done well to provide ♪
107
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:54,660
♪ An oasis of shade when
we set foot outside ♪
108
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:58,063
♪ Your time is done now,
your trials are through ♪
109
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:02,067
♪ But we'll always
remember you ♪
110
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,436
♪ Oh, little leaf... ♪
111
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,505
(whirring)
112
00:05:08,309 --> 00:05:09,508
What have you done?!
113
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,243
Sorry, Uncle.
It's just one hair.
114
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:13,912
Oh, J.C., how
little you know!
115
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:18,617
There can be only one.
116
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,185
(grunting)
117
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,222
Eso.
118
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,698
(shouts)
119
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,032
Now, where were we?
120
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,767
Which Ernesto are you?
121
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,536
Does it matter?
122
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:43,175
All right, time to get rid
of this nuisance ostrich.
123
00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,644
Hey, friend!
124
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,513
Let's do ostrich stuff
away from the station.
125
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,981
(trilling)
126
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,016
Uh-oh.
127
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,186
(grunts)
No! Stop! Let me go!
128
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,123
Don't ask.
129
00:05:58,125 --> 00:06:00,125
MALE VOICE:
And then a little later...
130
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:02,527
So, J.C.,
131
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,496
how was your first day
on Ernesto's crew?
132
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,498
Ugh, it was hell.
Uncle Ernesto,
133
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,201
your crew needs more breaks
and better working conditions.
134
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,470
I only worked one day,
and look at these blisters.
135
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,804
I used to get blisters.
136
00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:15,540
But I kept working,
and now look.
137
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:20,746
Enough, Ernesto!
138
00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,048
The budget for proving
how tough your hands are
139
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,417
is out of control!
140
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,557
I tell you,
it's bad enough
141
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,026
I get humiliated
every day by immigrants.
142
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:37,496
Now this damn ostrich
won't leave me alone.
143
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:40,165
You know, Bud, maybe that
ostrich is there to protect you.
144
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,667
In Native American culture, we
believe everyone has a guardian
145
00:06:42,669 --> 00:06:44,002
that watches over them.
146
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,504
It's called a spirit animal.
147
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:46,671
A spirit what?
148
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:47,672
A spirit animal.
149
00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:48,673
A what animal?
150
00:06:48,675 --> 00:06:49,674
A spirit animal.
151
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:50,675
A spirit what?
152
00:06:50,677 --> 00:06:51,843
Bud, repeat after me:
153
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:52,944
a...
A...
154
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,246
spirit...
spirit...
155
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:55,881
animal.
What?
156
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,082
I'm gonna kill him.
157
00:06:57,084 --> 00:07:00,118
Spirit animal says
chill out, bro.
158
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:04,122
Ernesto, why do you have
to push J.C. so hard?
159
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,424
He's delicate.
160
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:06,958
I push him because
he needs to learn
161
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,527
how to survive
in the real world.
162
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,695
Sure, he's educated
and knows a lot,
163
00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:13,131
but he doesn't know
how to do anything.
164
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,466
That's not true.
165
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,701
He made progressive G.I. Joes
for Pepito.
166
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:21,173
I have serious moral
qualms about this war.
167
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,376
Hey, Steve.
168
00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,111
Hey, Buckwald.
Let me give you a little tip.
169
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,079
Oh, wait, you already have it
in your pants
170
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:30,415
because it's your penis.
Boo-yah!
171
00:07:30,417 --> 00:07:31,783
Ow! What the... Ow!
(squawks)
172
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:33,585
Hey! You asked for it, buddy.
173
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,387
They don't give yellow belts
to just anybody.
174
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,989
You got to pay ten bucks
and show up to the class.
175
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,291
Leg sweep!
176
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:42,060
Thanks, ostrich.
177
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:43,662
Wow. Maybe George was right.
178
00:07:43,664 --> 00:07:46,264
Maybe you are my
spearmint caramel.
179
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,734
SOUTHERN NARRATOR: Well, looks like ol'
Bud's found himself a spirit animal.
180
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:53,071
Now watch me turn the picture upside-down.
181
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,173
Neat trick, huh?
182
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,110
Hey, guys. Why isn't
anyone working?
183
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,446
Did someone see a
caterpillar? I want it!
184
00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,949
Uncle Ernesto, as the leader
of the newly-formed
185
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,817
Landscapers Union of Mexifornia,
186
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,519
I'd like to see
some improvements
187
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:10,622
to the working conditions before
these men go back to work.
188
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,524
You unionized my workers?!
189
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,859
He's our Cesar Chavez!
190
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,527
And I'm our Samantha!
191
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,497
OTHERS:
Oh, Straight Gardener Jorge.
192
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:20,298
We want better pay,
health benefits
193
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:22,467
and access
to the executive washroom.
194
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,302
(gasps) Never!
195
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,938
J.C., how would you know what
fair working conditions are?
196
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,974
You never worked
a day in your life.
197
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,542
That's it.
Drop your rakes, fellas.
198
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,977
We're on strike!
199
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,178
(cheering)
200
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,714
What?! Fine!
201
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,116
(tires screech)
202
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:42,120
Uh, Aunt Maria,
can you come pick me up?
203
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,788
Okay, honey.
204
00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:46,791
Ernesto, I need you to pick up
J.C. from the job site.
205
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,793
(groans)
Okay.
206
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,062
(tires screeching)
207
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:59,337
Is there a good strike word
that rhymes with "Ernesto"?
208
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,239
(grumbles)
"Protest-o."
209
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:05,277
Hmm. Could you give me
a few more options at dinner?
210
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,417
J.C., how could you lead
my workers on strike?
211
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,152
I treat them very fairly.
212
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,421
Those men work in dangerous
conditions without benefits.
213
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,089
They deserve a voice.
214
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,492
Unions are worthless!
If you're mad at your boss,
215
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:23,228
you just chop off his head and
toss it around in the streets.
216
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,931
Every country that's ever
gone nowhere does that!
217
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,199
J.C., my workers were happy
before you showed up.
218
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,068
They loved the pranks I pull.
219
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,004
I once switched everyone's rakes
and no one noticed for a month.
220
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,839
(chuckles)
When I told them,
221
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:37,709
boy, did they nod
and acknowledge it.
222
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,711
History is rife
with worker exploitation,
223
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:43,048
and I have a moral obligation
to do what's right.
224
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,050
Hey, you guys, there's
no fighting at the dinner table.
225
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:48,219
No fair! The Buckwalds get
to fight at the dinner table!
226
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,554
You son of a bitch!
227
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,856
(grunting)
Get off me, you fat dick!
228
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,628
Ernesto, you shouldn't
have pushed J.C. so hard.
229
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,697
And then he said...
Maria, I'm tired
230
00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,932
of you coddling J.C. just
because he's your nephew.
231
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,468
And meanwhile, you're
heartlessly cruel to our kitten.
232
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:04,703
(meows)
233
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,037
Why are you playing
with that yarn?
234
00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,206
Get back to work,
you feline trash!
235
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:12,277
Look, Ernesto, can't you
just meet him halfway?
236
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,279
No, Maria, I can't.
237
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:16,247
Look, I have nothing
against unions,
238
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,084
but this strike is just J.C.
doing what he always does:
239
00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:20,919
finding clever ways
to get out of work.
240
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,988
I've worked three
jobs my entire life,
241
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,156
and I can't get him
to work just one.
242
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,891
Well, time for
my next job.
243
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:29,995
Hey, are we out of
undetectable steroids?
244
00:10:32,065 --> 00:10:34,499
ANNOUNCER:
And now HBO's Girls.
245
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,801
Our generation
is just so frustrating.
246
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,438
Ew. This is the grossest baloney
commercial I've ever seen.
247
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,574
Daddy, what you doin'
248
00:10:42,576 --> 00:10:45,176
with one them lesbians from
Orange is the New Black?
249
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:46,511
Everyone, this is
my new buddy.
250
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:48,113
Now, I know
what you're thinkin':
251
00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:50,682
Bud's brought home another man
in an animal costume.
252
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:54,085
But this ostrich is real and the
furry stage of my life is over.
253
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,454
Well, Bud, I wasn't expecting
company for dinner,
254
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:59,090
so that ostrich is just gonna
have to eat what we're eating:
255
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,926
roots, seeds, insects
and small rodents.
256
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,429
Daddy, I've been looking
so forward to you getting home.
257
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,264
Can we play now?
258
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,667
No, Gert, I'm distracted
by this ostrich.
259
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,269
Okay.
Well, maybe we can play later.
260
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,539
(phone rings) BUD: Sorry, Gert.
I'm at an ostrich pageant.
261
00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,374
Ooh, he's singing
"Wind Beneath My Wings."
262
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,677
I think it's about me!
263
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,114
♪ ♪
264
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:43,134
ALL (chanting): The gardeners
protesto the wages of Ernesto!
265
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,737
J.C., why are you
doing this?
266
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:48,673
You only worked one day.
Shouldn't you give it more time?
267
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,475
Your concern shouldn't
be with Uncle Ernesto,
268
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,177
it should be with his workers.
269
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:55,346
(knocking) Hey, J.C., any
progress with the strike?
270
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,515
We can't afford
to pay our rent.
271
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:59,317
Don't you have an uncle
you can stay with?
272
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,685
All right, hang on.
273
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,987
Aunt Maria, can my union
brothers stay here?
274
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,390
MARIA: As long as they stay
in your room.
275
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,293
(sucks air through teeth)
She says no.
276
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:15,767
Hey, Ernesto, I heard J.C.
led your workers on strike.
277
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,837
What you need is a spirit
animal, like my ostrich here.
278
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:20,371
What does that do?
279
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,773
Bud, is that your ostrich?
280
00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,675
(chuckles) When it
comes to climate change,
281
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,144
you both have your
heads in the sand.
282
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,447
(gasps)
The prophecy!
283
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,421
Hey, has anyone
seen my ostrich?
284
00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,123
We got doubles tennis
in 20 minutes
285
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,791
against Bryce
and his alpaca.
286
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,127
I don't know, Daddy,
but what's this?
287
00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:44,362
A note I wrote...
I mean, found.
288
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,264
"Dear Daddy"--
that's crossed out--
289
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,434
"Dear Gert's Daddy, you should
spend more time with me."
290
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:52,070
Nope, the "me" is crossed out--
"with your gorgeous daughter.
291
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,706
"Which is why I called
animal services on myself.
292
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,374
Love, Gert."
No, that's crossed out,
293
00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:58,376
"Love, Gert's
Daddy's Ostrich."
294
00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,146
Oh, that's too bad, Daddy.
But I'll play with you.
295
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,148
I'll even eat them worms
you been feedin' it.
296
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,950
Theys can play with the worms
that's already in me.
297
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,418
(crying):
Not now, Gert.
298
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,254
I can't believe
my ostrich is gone!
299
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:12,490
And he had the second-best
bird penmanship I've ever seen.
300
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:18,730
(chanting): The gardeners
protesto the wages of Ernesto!
301
00:13:18,732 --> 00:13:19,998
(chanting continues)
302
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,603
This has gone too far.
303
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,839
The Mexifornia Golf Club
threatened to fire me
304
00:13:27,841 --> 00:13:29,974
if I don't get the course
done by tomorrow.
305
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,810
Ernesto, that's
your biggest account.
306
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:34,245
I can't landscape it
without my crew.
307
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,581
Ah, you're weak.
When I was your age,
308
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,950
I could mow eight
soccer stadiums, three plazas
309
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:41,753
and a park, and still
have the energy to beat you
310
00:13:41,755 --> 00:13:44,756
and cheat on your mother
every single day of the week.
311
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,658
What do we want?
ALL: ¿Que?
312
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:48,259
When do we want it?
ALL: ¿Que?
313
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,661
Hey, Aunt Maria.
314
00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,830
J.C., it's time
to call off the strike.
315
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:54,365
What? I have an obligation
to see this through.
316
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,367
I-I made a promise
to these men,
317
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,136
just like I did
to my foster kid.
318
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,038
Can I visit
my mom's grave?
319
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,040
Uh, sure, you can
have popcorn.
320
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:05,176
Ernesto took you in when you
were a child and supported you,
321
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,445
and now you're about to cost him
his biggest client.
322
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,280
I've coddled you for too long.
323
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:11,649
It's time you found
somewhere else to live.
324
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,651
What?! But I've lived
here my whole life
325
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:15,887
while my not-dead parents
have been on vacation.
326
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,990
One day they're gonna come
back, and you'll be sorry!
327
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,491
If you can't support Ernesto,
328
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,961
you're going to have to learn
to support yourself.
329
00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,296
You know, I must have hit
my head during that strike,
330
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:28,366
'cause remind me-- what
do you do for a living?
331
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,968
(knocking)
332
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,971
Hey, Becky, I need to move
in. Maria kicked me out.
333
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,406
I'm sorry, J.C.,
but I can't let you stay here.
334
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,041
What?
335
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,811
This strike is just you
once again avoiding work.
336
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,513
I won't marry someone
who can't support himself,
337
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,048
let alone a family.
338
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,350
Becky, that's not true.
339
00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:47,252
Look, let me just
stay the night...
340
00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,921
(grunts) You don't get to be
Steven Seagal's body double
341
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,656
without learning a thing or two.
342
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,858
Ms. Buckwald, Mr. Seagal
has gained a lot of weight,
343
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,994
so for his next movie,
you're still going to need
344
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:58,963
to lose some weight, but not as
much as we initially thought.
345
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:03,735
(passing trunk horn blares)
346
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,169
I'll have a vodka tonic.
347
00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,071
Sorry, we don't
serve miners.
348
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,439
(rimshot)
349
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,042
You look down,
Becky's annoying fiancé.
350
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:12,443
My family kicked me out,
351
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,212
and Becky won't let
me stay with her.
352
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,513
I don't know what to do.
353
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,048
Sounds to me
like what you need
354
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:19,751
is more experience
being kicked out of places.
355
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,654
Like us on Facebook!
356
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:25,723
(knocking)
357
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:26,758
What the...
358
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,527
Ostrich! You've come back!
359
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:32,263
(purring)
Oh, I was with other animals,
360
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,832
but I never stopped
thinking of you.
361
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,804
Hey, Ernesto.
What's going on?
362
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,573
My crew is gone, and I'm
about to lose my business.
363
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,209
Also, I just made the
National League All-Star team,
364
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:47,578
so there goes
my mid-July.
365
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,813
Well, you did the right thing
366
00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:50,748
kickin' that
freeloader J.C. out.
367
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,418
I just wish Janice would let me
do the same thing to Sanford.
368
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:56,888
I bet right now he's sitting
in my chair, drinking my beer.
369
00:15:56,890 --> 00:15:59,490
Come on, Bud, Sanford would
never do that to you.
370
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,192
(phone chimes)
371
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:07,432
He's a good kid. You should
get him walkie-talkies
372
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,334
and two paintball guns.
373
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,937
MARIA: You know nothing of the workers' plight
374
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:14,839
because you've never been one.
375
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:17,675
BECKY: I can't marry someone who can't support himself.
376
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,811
BOY: I'm that kid you watched drown at camp.
377
00:16:19,813 --> 00:16:22,914
I know you took the candy from my bunk after I died.
378
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:33,291
Hey, everybody.
379
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,826
I'm back from
my climate change rally.
380
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:36,194
If we don't do something soon,
381
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,962
we're gonna lose
the Nebraska Coast.
382
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,530
What's going on?
383
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,499
It's your uncle's
retirement party.
384
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,835
How can you all sit here and
celebrate when our country
385
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,871
is nowhere near as fair
and just as North Korea,
386
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:49,207
which would've been an insane
thing to say 30 years ago
387
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,476
but now makes sense?
(doorbell rings)
388
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,311
Oh, I hope you don't mind, J.C.,
389
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,514
I invited Becky and her husband,
two-term governor David Ortega.
390
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,150
Two-term governor
David Ortega?
391
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,619
We're so honored
to have you in our home.
392
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,355
Hello, J.C., I saw you had
a letter to the editor
393
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,291
published in the Time Magazine
with my husband on the cover.
394
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,726
J.C., I like
the ponytail.
395
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,228
Very considerate of you
396
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,797
to give your boyfriend a handle.
(doorbell rings)
397
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,298
Uhp, that's the men
from the government.
398
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,000
They're here to take you
for the Culling.
399
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:19,003
So smart of you to pass
this law, Governor Ortega.
400
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:21,572
So smart of you to select
J.C. to be killed.
401
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,741
(screams)
402
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,810
No, please!
I'll get a job.
403
00:17:25,812 --> 00:17:28,046
(laughter)
What a dick.
404
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:31,282
Want to make love
on his corpse?
405
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,221
No... Becky, no!
406
00:17:37,223 --> 00:17:40,058
She's right,
I've been such a jerk.
407
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,193
Wow, that dream felt so real.
408
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:44,429
(moaning)
409
00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,932
Guys, I was wrong.
410
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:51,069
Ernesto is a fair boss, and
we need to save his business.
411
00:17:51,071 --> 00:17:52,770
J.C., it's too late for that.
412
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:55,406
You let us down, and now
we've had to take the only job
413
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:58,176
12 men with just a high school
education can get.
414
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,278
We're the Minnesota
Timberwolves.
415
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,780
(giggling)
416
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:06,250
BUD: Oh, so this is what
it's like to not want to die.
417
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:07,385
What's wrong, Gert?
418
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,953
I miss Daddy.
419
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,956
Ever since he met that ostrich,
I never see him no more.
420
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:15,426
Oh, Gert, your daddy still
loves you just as much as ever.
421
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,295
This bird may be
a novelty for him,
422
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:20,031
but you'll always be
his favorite wild animal.
423
00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:22,033
(chuckling):
Oh, ostrich,
424
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:25,103
they can call themselves
that, but you can't.
425
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,113
I guess I got to save
Ernesto's business myself.
426
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:38,182
MAN: Hey, it's the guy those
bums were having sex on.
427
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,451
Whoa.
428
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:43,287
Look at the size of this place.
429
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,233
(screams)
430
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,767
(gasps)
431
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,170
An endangered
red-breasted sparrow.
432
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:02,573
Damn it, the one day
I have to be a capitalist pig.
433
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,753
What are you doing
on my course?!
434
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,623
Finishing the job.
For Gonzalez Landscaping.
435
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:21,259
This is the worst
landscaping job I've ever seen.
436
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:23,327
And my wife is taking
a watercolors class
437
00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:24,829
at community college.
438
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,330
Tell Ernesto he's fired.
439
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,199
What?! No.
440
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,935
You can't fire him.
It's my fault. Please.
441
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:34,438
He took me in,
and now I've ruined his life.
442
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,140
Oh... (cries)
443
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,775
(bird chirping)
444
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,710
Wait. You've
got endangered
445
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,946
red-breasted sparrows
on your course.
446
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,548
If environmentalists
heard about this,
447
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,349
they'd have your
course shut down.
448
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:48,819
Maybe you'll give Gonzalez
Landscaping another chance.
449
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:50,188
You've won this round.
450
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:51,622
Also, this is the only round,
451
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:54,058
so you've won the whole thing.
Congratulations.
452
00:19:58,731 --> 00:20:01,065
Thanks for landscaping
that entire golf course
453
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,567
and saving my business.
454
00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,835
Uncle Ernesto, I'm sorry
for calling the strike.
455
00:20:04,837 --> 00:20:06,404
Thankfully, you got
your crew back,
456
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:07,638
because you treat them so well.
457
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,373
I'm so proud of you.
458
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,242
What suddenly
got you so motivated?
459
00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,678
I had this crazy dream
where I'd lost you.
460
00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,813
Oh, J.C.,
you'll never lose me.
461
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,415
(knocking)
462
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:21,385
Hi. I'm two-term manager
of Wing Stop David Ortega.
463
00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:23,721
I just had to meet
our best customer.
464
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,590
Oh.
(screams)
465
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,928
Hey, everybody, guess what
I did todid... today...
466
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,164
Aah! Let me come in again.
467
00:20:36,769 --> 00:20:38,836
Everyone, dinnertime.
468
00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,605
Mmm, smells good.
469
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,373
Well, I can't take
all the credit.
470
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,908
Gert was my little helper.
471
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,577
I cooked it
especially for you, Daddy.
472
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,579
(Bud gasps)
473
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,047
Ostrich!
474
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,582
I hope you learned
your lesson, Daddy.
475
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,918
I'm number one
in your life. Me.
476
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,553
Now eat the flesh
of your best friend
477
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,855
just like you did
during Desert Storm.
478
00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:59,924
SOUTHERN NARRATOR: Well, ol' Bud lost his spirit animal
479
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,926
just as quickly as he got it.
480
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:04,629
And it turns out I ain'tthe only cannibal on this show.
481
00:21:04,631 --> 00:21:06,264
Who'da thunk it?
482
00:21:06,266 --> 00:21:08,099
Oh, hey, Ernesto.
483
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,301
Glad to see you got
your business back on its feet.
484
00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,103
Yeah, me, too.
What a week.
485
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:14,071
I guess we both
learned a lot.
486
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:17,275
Yep, that all strikes are caused
by lazy liberals avoiding work,
487
00:21:17,277 --> 00:21:20,144
and rare birds
should be fair game for huntin'.
488
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:25,683
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