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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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I now pronounce you husband and wife.
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You may kiss the bride.
4
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We'd like to pay for a honeymoon.
5
00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:09,750
What would you say
6
00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,450
to an all-expenses-paid
weekend at Dollywood?
7
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- Shut up.
- MANDY: Oh, my God.
8
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Thank you.
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Huh? Oh, that ain't good.
10
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- (SIREN CHIRPS)
- OFFICER (OVER P.A.): Connie Tucker,
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please stop running.
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Why are you handcuffed?
13
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,350
I was just... taking
the baby for a walk,
14
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,930
and Cagney and Lacey here
15
00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:30,350
decided that I was evading arrest.
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How's that feel?
17
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,070
Unnecessary.
18
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,490
You ran from the police.
19
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,740
You're a flight risk.
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00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,820
She can't run. She got a funky hip.
21
00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:45,030
- She can barely waddle.
- Watch it.
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00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,540
RICH: You got a 50-yard
radius from the base.
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It'll beep when you
get close to the edge.
24
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,870
If you cross it, we get a call.
25
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If you tamper with it, we get a call.
26
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,290
Will it give her a little zap?
27
00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,460
No.
28
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,956
Well, how's she gonna learn?
29
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,880
Will it beep if I kill him?
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As long as it's within
50 yards, go for it.
31
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,220
I can't leave the house?
32
00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:09,320
What the hell am I
supposed to do all day?
33
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I am way ahead of you. See?
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I stopped and I picked up puzzles.
35
00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:18,020
Got us the Grand Canyon
and Dogs Playing Poker.
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00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,740
If I were to run right now,
would you shoot me?
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00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:27,170
? Nobody else is stronger than I am ?
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? Yesterday I moved a mountain ?
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? I bet I could be your hero ?
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? I am a mighty little man ?
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? I am a mighty little man. ?
42
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,200
Ooh. I found a corner.
43
00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,660
- Congratulations.
- Oh, come on.
44
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We can have a little fun.
45
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I have lost my business,
I have lost my home,
46
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I have lost my freedom,
and you want to have fun?
47
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A little fun.
48
00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:00,170
Do you not understand?
I could be going to jail.
49
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Oh, come on, please.
50
00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:04,780
They're not gonna send a sweet
old grandma to the pokey.
51
00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,250
Well, I hope not.
52
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,790
Ah. Well, tell me something
if you would.
53
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,950
Is that sky or water?
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Let me see it.
55
00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,410
It's a good thing that
didn't go 50 yards.
56
00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,340
You can still get it.
57
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(DOOR OPENS)
58
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Hey, we're back.
59
00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,170
Hey, hi.
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00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,590
Where's my little girl?
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00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,850
Um, she's with Mary.
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00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,010
Why?
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00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:34,140
Well, how do I put this?
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- (GASPS)
- What the heck is that?
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I'm under house arrest.
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00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,190
Why?
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We got busted.
68
00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,570
- We?
- Me.
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00:02:45,571 --> 00:02:46,958
Do they know about Georgie?
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00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,060
No, of course not.
71
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Your grandma's not a snitch.
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Which, by the way, will serve you well
73
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,910
if you end up in the slammer.
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The pokey, the slammer.
What is it with you?
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I like cop shows. You learn things.
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00:02:58,281 --> 00:03:00,346
GEORGE JR.: What about the
Laundromat, the video store?
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00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,880
They shut everything down.
78
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,190
God. So what are we gonna do for money?
79
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,170
- Yeah.
- That's an excellent question.
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00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:11,430
How was Dollywood?
81
00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,650
Magical. What are we
gonna do about money?
82
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,480
- Hey.
- Hello.
83
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,060
Studying for a test?
84
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,810
Studying to take the bar exam.
85
00:03:20,811 --> 00:03:23,319
Meemaw's going to need a smart
lawyer. By the time we find one,
86
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:24,704
I could just learn how to do it.
87
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,030
- Seriously?
- Common law was invented
88
00:03:27,031 --> 00:03:28,679
by a bunch of English farmers
in the Middle Ages.
89
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:29,950
I think I can hack it.
90
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,370
All right, what do you got?
91
00:03:31,371 --> 00:03:34,046
Well, have you ever heard of
Vincent "The Chin" Gigante?
92
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,290
He a boxer?
93
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,410
He was originally. Good for you.
94
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,680
But he's better known
as a major crime boss
95
00:03:39,681 --> 00:03:40,809
who managed to stay out of prison
96
00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:43,130
by employing the legal
doctrine of mens rea.
97
00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,500
Which is?
98
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,698
He pretended to be nuts.
99
00:03:45,699 --> 00:03:47,719
He wandered the streets
of New York in a bathrobe,
100
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,959
he had poor personal hygiene,
he mumbled to himself...
101
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,340
all the cuckoo classics.
102
00:03:51,341 --> 00:03:52,919
Yeah. If you need someone to testify
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that she's off her rocker,
you give me a call.
104
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,010
Thank you.
105
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,470
Toilet's backed up.
106
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What? Don't look at me. I just got home.
107
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- Yeah, but it's had years of you.
- (SIGHS)
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I'll check it out.
109
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,630
Come on, little buddy.
110
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,900
You can do it.
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00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,570
Talk to me.
112
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,160
There you go.
113
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,220
Let it out.
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Aah!
115
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(GROANS)
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Years.
117
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? Pump it up. ?
118
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,920
_
119
00:04:25,921 --> 00:04:28,999
Here's the estimate.
I'm gonna need 50% down
120
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,340
- to get started.
- Are you kidding me?
121
00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,720
We're fixing a toilet, not buying a car.
122
00:04:33,721 --> 00:04:35,489
Good thing I wasn't going to college.
123
00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:38,152
Nothing's wrong with your
toilet. Septic tank is shot.
124
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,390
- (SIGHS)
- What's a septic tank?
125
00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:42,149
It's basically a big container
under the backyard
126
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,617
that's filled up with all your...
bathroom business.
127
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,940
Ew! I played in that yard.
128
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,620
Missy, not now. Come on, Phil.
129
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,719
Isn't there some kind of
friends and family discount?
130
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,070
I mean, we went to high school together.
131
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,700
Yeah, and you were mean to me.
132
00:04:57,230 --> 00:05:00,830
Oh, come on! I-I was mad
at the world, not just you!
133
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,560
I ate that dirt.
134
00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:07,290
- Did he fix it?
- Not quite.
135
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:08,432
And he's still a weasel.
136
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,420
- What'd he do?
- Look.
137
00:05:10,421 --> 00:05:11,509
(GASPS)
138
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,440
- What a weasel.
- What are we gonna do?
139
00:05:13,490 --> 00:05:15,550
I mean, we're six people.
We need a toilet.
140
00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,600
Don't worry. Georgie, come with me.
141
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,341
- Where are we going?
- I got a plan.
142
00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:21,230
- Is it a good plan?
- Yeah.
143
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,680
All right. So I believe
that completes the sky.
144
00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,070
Satisfying, huh?
145
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,460
So, what do you think?
146
00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:32,480
Want to get some exercise,
147
00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,860
go for a walk until you start beeping?
148
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,950
Ha, ha, ha. It's not funny.
149
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,230
My life is in shambles, and
I'm too old to start over.
150
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,410
Oh, come on.
151
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,660
You are not too old.
152
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:46,920
Now, listen, you are a smart,
vibrant, perky woman.
153
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,460
- Perky?
- Well, yeah, compared to me.
154
00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:51,434
- (CHUCKLES)
- And I'll tell you another thing.
155
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,180
Your life's not over.
156
00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:57,760
You are writing a new chapter
in the book of you.
157
00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:02,360
A book where a perky heroine rises up
158
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,390
and...
159
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,400
And what?
160
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,400
I don't know. Y-You want to get drunk?
161
00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,502
- Yes.
- Great.
162
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,871
I'm gonna run to the liquor store.
You want to come with me?
163
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,720
- Dale!
- Right. Okay.
164
00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:16,460
Be back in a jiffy.
165
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:19,410
(MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY)
166
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,580
- (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
- God help me, I love him.
167
00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,960
GEORGE SR.: All right,
just a little bit more.
168
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,410
Oh, easy, easy. There you go. (LAUGHS)
169
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,240
Yeah.
170
00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:31,750
- Not bad, huh?
- I don't know.
171
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,510
Might look better by the fence.
172
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,860
Look better?
173
00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:36,800
It's a big plastic crap house.
174
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,180
MARY: Oh, dear Lord.
175
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,850
You wanted a toilet? Voil�.
176
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,230
- Where did you get it?
- From the high school.
177
00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:45,889
We got, like, ten of 'em
for visiting teams.
178
00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:47,100
Yeah... give it a whirl.
179
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,900
I'd rather die.
180
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,060
- Is there a light inside?
- No.
181
00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,549
Trust me, that's a good thing.
182
00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:55,414
We'll just tie a flashlight
to the handle.
183
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,125
Huh. I always wondered what
rock bottom would look like.
184
00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,950
Come on, at least check it out.
185
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,080
(MANDY SIGHS)
186
00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,290
I checked, I'm out.
187
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,760
(DOOR CLOSES)
188
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,249
- I can't thank y'all enough.
- Oh, don't be silly.
189
00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,640
- Stay as long as you need.
- It's only temporary.
190
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,389
Whatever. We're just
thrilled to have you
191
00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,880
and the baby here.
192
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,300
And me, too, right?
193
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,430
Yes, you'll be here, too.
194
00:07:21,221 --> 00:07:23,819
Well, let me give you a hand.
195
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,560
- Oh. Thanks.
- Now, Georgie,
196
00:07:25,561 --> 00:07:27,697
if the police come for you,
what should we tell them?
197
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,660
- Mom.
- I'm sorry.
198
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,980
I've never harbored a fugitive before.
199
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,640
Mom!
200
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,240
Who's that guy?
201
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,660
It's Donny Osmond.
202
00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,120
Never heard of him.
203
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,780
You know, Donny and Marie?
204
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,040
Sometimes I forget how old you are.
205
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,080
- Thank you.
- (UNZIPS BAG)
206
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,730
I'm sorry about my mom.
207
00:07:49,780 --> 00:07:51,500
You kidding? We got a double bed
208
00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,790
and an indoor bathroom.
209
00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:55,009
She can spit in my Corn Flakes,
and I'm a happy camper.
210
00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:57,260
Good, 'cause she might.
211
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,090
Don't worry. I'll win her over.
212
00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,660
She thinks you ruined my life.
213
00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:02,500
So? You thought I ruined your life,
214
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:03,890
and you married me.
215
00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,992
I called it.
216
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,350
I said no good would
come of this marriage.
217
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,020
Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot.
218
00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,470
You said it at the wedding.
219
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,560
But, uh, still, you know, I...
220
00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,618
I think you could be
a little nicer to him.
221
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,160
Sure, I can also go out in the backyard
222
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:19,360
and water the crabgrass.
223
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,320
We're gonna be okay, right?
224
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,030
Oh, of course.
225
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,530
How can you be so sure?
226
00:08:24,531 --> 00:08:27,173
Hey, you didn't just marry a
pretty boy like Danny over here.
227
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,540
- Donny.
- Yeah, him.
228
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:31,450
You know, I'm the hardest
worker you'll ever meet.
229
00:08:31,451 --> 00:08:34,096
When I see something I want,
I don't stop till I get it.
230
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,500
You are relentless.
231
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,490
The good news is, with
Amanda back in the house,
232
00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,760
I can help her come to her senses.
233
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,980
Good plan.
234
00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,279
Hey, uh, in the meantime,
235
00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,599
I was thinking of putting
Georgie to work at the store.
236
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,180
There you go, watering the crabgrass.
237
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:50,850
It's not charity, all right? He'll work.
238
00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,270
He's a criminal, Jim.
239
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:55,480
And what I want is to take
care of you and CeeCee
240
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:58,070
and maybe someday a
Georgie Junior Junior.
241
00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,940
You mean George the Third.
242
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,490
No, that's too fancy.
He'd get his ass kicked.
243
00:09:02,491 --> 00:09:04,627
- Mm, yeah.
- JIM: And for your information,
244
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,213
those little backroom slot
machines are all over town.
245
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,620
How do you know?
246
00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:11,250
People tell me stuff.
247
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,130
I... I just got...
I got one of them faces.
248
00:09:15,131 --> 00:09:19,409
ADULT SHELDON: I had a plan
to avoid using the porta-potty.
249
00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,829
I just had to get through the night
250
00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,180
until I could get back to
my dorm in the morning.
251
00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,510
I lowered my overall liquid intake,
252
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,760
skipped my pre-bed chamomile tea,
253
00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:30,950
and gave my bladder a stern talking to.
254
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,900
My bladder did not listen.
255
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,620
(SIGHS)
256
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,690
I can do this.
257
00:09:41,691 --> 00:09:43,179
ADULT SHELDON: My body
may have been weak,
258
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,910
but my mind was strong.
259
00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:46,629
I just needed to think
about this situation
260
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:47,890
in a different way.
261
00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:50,740
Instead of a porta-potty,
it was a TARDIS.
262
00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,840
Instead of Sheldon, I was Doctor Who,
263
00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,270
whose urine was ready to
travel through space and time.
264
00:09:57,271 --> 00:09:59,649
For those who aren't familiar,
265
00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:01,990
the TARDIS is bigger on the inside.
266
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:05,340
This one, however,
was smellier on the inside.
267
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:06,840
I can't do this.
268
00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:10,159
ADULT SHELDON: I'm not proud of this,
269
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,080
but that night, I relieved myself
270
00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,600
inside Billy Sparks' chicken coop.
271
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:17,320
Until my wife, those hens
were the only females
272
00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,430
I ever exposed myself to.
273
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,860
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
274
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,800
I guess I could have left that part out.
275
00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,450
Oh, well.
276
00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,660
GEORGE JR.: More bacon?
277
00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:28,761
Pile it on.
278
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,346
Good morning.
279
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,470
Morning. Have a seat.
280
00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:34,960
Georgie made us breakfast.
281
00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,809
- Isn't that nice?
- Oh, well, look at that.
282
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,900
- Thank you.
- My pleasure.
283
00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:41,509
AUDREY: I guess I'll just have
to run to the supermarket later
284
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,720
and get some more eggs for
that cake I was going to make.
285
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,800
Oh, no problem. I-I can
go to the grocery store.
286
00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,680
Oh. Apparently we're
not job-hunting today.
287
00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,940
Oh, speaking of jobs.
288
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,860
Good luck to you, son.
289
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:02,740
Meemaw. Meemaw.
290
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,680
Meemaw.
291
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,110
What?
292
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,060
Oh, my, you look terrible.
293
00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,240
Are you sick?
294
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,450
Of life, yes.
295
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,090
Oh, good. That's not contagious.
296
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,370
Get in here. The light's killing me.
297
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,580
You smell like alcohol. Yucky.
298
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,210
(DOOR CLOSES)
299
00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,000
Look who came to visit.
300
00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:27,319
- Oh, great.
- SHELDON: You will think it's great
301
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,899
when you hear the
brilliant legal strategy
302
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,580
I have to keep Meemaw out of prison.
303
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,640
I thought you were a science guy.
304
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,220
I am, but sometimes I
like to spread my wings.
305
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,430
Oh, okay. Uh, proceed.
306
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,320
- What do you got?
- It's simple.
307
00:11:39,321 --> 00:11:41,889
We argue under Article 46-B
of the Texas Penal Code
308
00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:44,954
that you're unfit to stand trial
due to mental incompetence.
309
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,320
You-you want to tell 'em I'm crazy?
310
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,904
Yes. And keep this look.
It really bolsters our case.
311
00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:53,330
- Has this worked before?
- It has.
312
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,920
Oh. Well, that's good news.
313
00:11:55,921 --> 00:11:58,550
The bad news is, you'll probably
be institutionalized.
314
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,830
You-you... you want me
to go to the nuthouse?
315
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,960
I want you to stay out of prison.
316
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:07,420
Oh, Moon Pie, thank you.
Thank you so much.
317
00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:10,400
I really do appreciate it, but I'm fine.
318
00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:13,320
You know, I have a buddy
whose nephew is a lawyer.
319
00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,760
He's gonna help us out.
320
00:12:14,761 --> 00:12:16,469
Is this because I haven't
passed the bar yet?
321
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,696
Because that's just a formality.
A monkey could do it.
322
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,900
No, I... I think that I'd just
feel a little more comfortable
323
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,110
if I was getting advice
324
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,690
from somebody who had a little
more professional experience.
325
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,750
Okay. I mean, I've been doing
this for a day and a half,
326
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:32,370
but suit yourself.
327
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,200
(DOOR CLOSES)
328
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,270
Got your eggs, everything on the list.
329
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,580
Thank you.
330
00:12:40,581 --> 00:12:42,419
Also filled out an application
to be a bag boy
331
00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,880
- while I was there.
- Oh.
332
00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,200
Wonderful.
333
00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,170
My son-in-law, the bag boy.
334
00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,600
It's only temporary.
335
00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,390
I'll make my way up to cashier,
336
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,800
then night manager,
then manager-manager,
337
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,680
then regional supervisor,
338
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:57,090
then it's just a hop,
skip and a jump to HQ.
339
00:12:57,091 --> 00:12:58,527
That's short for headquarters.
340
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,390
You can do all that without
a high school diploma?
341
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,070
If you're a member of the can-do club.
342
00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:07,520
God help me.
343
00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:10,540
I'll just put these away.
344
00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:18,570
What's the can-do club, and
why is my mom so mad about it?
345
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,500
What are you doing?
346
00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:26,029
Cleaning out these rain gutters.
347
00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:29,266
Otherwise, the water gets backed
up and wrecks havoc on your roof.
348
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,590
Wreaks... havoc.
349
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,560
No, I'm pretty sure it's wrecks,
'cause that's what it do.
350
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,840
Oh, look at that.
351
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,170
- (DOOR OPENS)
- Audrey, is this your Wham-O?
352
00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,360
(DOOR CLOSES)
353
00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,570
Audrey?
354
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,240
And the wolf said, "I'm gonna huff
355
00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:53,250
and puff and blow your house down."
356
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:55,667
Don't worry. Daddy'll never
let that happen to you.
357
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,410
I'm gonna keep you safe.
358
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,200
(CHUCKLES) Uh-oh.
359
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,940
Somebody needs a new diaper.
360
00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,080
Come on, let's get you one.
361
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,610
Oh, hey. She's got you and
Mandy's good looks, but...
362
00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,790
phew... she poops like her dad. (LAUGHS)
363
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,520
Lovely.
364
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,640
Your grandma's coming around on me.
365
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,970
(LAUGHS) Yeah, she is.
366
00:14:19,971 --> 00:14:23,109
The good news is, I've had
some encouraging talks
367
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,072
with the district attorney,
and I think that we can...
368
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,730
Hang on. How old are you?
369
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,270
I know I look young, but I'm 24.
370
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,690
You bring me a child attorney?
371
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:35,530
Well, you were about to take
advice from a 14-year-old.
372
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,200
Oh, who's that? I might know him.
373
00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:38,779
Oh, just finish up what you were saying.
374
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,260
Right. A deal can be made
without going to trial.
375
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:44,169
You plead guilty, pay a fine,
lose your business license,
376
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,790
maybe some community service,
377
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,750
probation, but no jail time.
378
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,620
So I'll lose the gambling room,
379
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:51,890
but I can keep the Laundromat
380
00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,460
- and the video store?
- No.
381
00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:55,819
Those are all considered a part
of the criminal enterprise.
382
00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:57,010
They get confiscated.
383
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,970
- What if I fight it?
- On what grounds?
384
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,250
I didn't have an illegal gambling room.
385
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,450
I collected...
386
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,350
antique slot machines.
387
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,810
It was my hobby.
388
00:15:07,811 --> 00:15:09,032
And the evading arrest?
389
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,959
I was just taking my great-granddaughter
390
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,730
for a brisk stroll.
391
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:13,920
I'm confused.
392
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:16,190
Did we start the insanity thing?
393
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,869
I think you should take this deal.
394
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,256
Put everything behind you,
395
00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:20,370
get on with your life.
396
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,120
What life? I have no life.
397
00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,540
- You have me.
- Yeah, yeah.
398
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,610
What if I had something to offer?
399
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:31,000
Then maybe I could keep my
businesses and skip the fine?
400
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,700
- What are you thinking?
- That greedy rat of a cop
401
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,670
- I was paying off.
- Rutledge?
402
00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:37,144
He's the one who flipped on you.
403
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,650
Son of a bitch.
404
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:41,150
You can't even trust a
dirty cop these days.
405
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,140
- Come on, Connie.
- Yeah.
406
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,390
No one wants to see a
grandma behind bars.
407
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,870
- Great-grandma.
- Oh, wow.
408
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,560
- Yeah.
- How old are you?
409
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,730
None of your business.
410
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,360
So, do I tell 'em we have a deal?
411
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,400
Okay, fine.
412
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,280
Oh, thank God. I'm too old
to find somebody new.
413
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,860
? ?
414
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,500
What are you doing?
415
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,330
Making a withdrawal.
416
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:17,130
You put a hole in my wall
and hid money in it?
417
00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,015
It seemed safe. I mean, who'd
look for money in this dump?
418
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,300
Why do you need it?
419
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,760
Legal fees.
420
00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:25,260
Maybe a new gambling room.
421
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,220
- Mom.
- By the way,
422
00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,060
what is that porta-potty
doing out there in your yard?
423
00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,850
We're having plumbing issues.
424
00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,470
We need a new septic tank.
425
00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,180
- Ouch.
- Tell me about it.
426
00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:39,010
How much you got in there?
427
00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:40,990
None of your business.
428
00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,530
It's in my wall!
429
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,025
It's the devil's money, Mary.
430
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,180
- You don't want it.
- I don't care.
431
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,950
Last night, I went to pee and
there was a snake in there.
432
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,010
Here you go.
433
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,820
Get yourself some indoor plumbing.
434
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,420
Oh, Mommy, thank you.
435
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,524
(SHRIEKS)
436
00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,760
Snake's back! Snake's back!
437
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,310
Nice house.
438
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:12,100
Got the job. Part-time bag boy.
439
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,520
Well. They let you take the apron home?
440
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,560
Aw, shoot.
441
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,690
(MANDY CHUCKLES)
442
00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:19,496
That's great, Georgie.
I'm really proud of you.
443
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:22,027
It's only temporary till
I find something better.
444
00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,330
Listen, Georgie,
445
00:17:28,331 --> 00:17:29,939
- Audrey and I were thinking...
- (CLEARS THROAT)
446
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,500
I was thinking...
447
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,080
I could really use some
help down at the tire store.
448
00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:36,090
Really? Selling tires?
449
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,288
You are not gonna regret this.
450
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:39,589
I'll work my butt off for you.
451
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:40,679
Nights, weekends, holidays...
452
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,050
you name it, I am there.
453
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,050
Pretty impressive kid, huh?
454
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,140
We'll see.
455
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:50,770
"We'll see"? (SCOFFS) Good job.
456
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,920
- Told you.
- (CHUCKLES)
457
00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:57,690
? I go out walkin' ?
458
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,870
? After midnight ?
459
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,780
? Out in the moonlight ?
460
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,360
- ? Just like we used to do ?
- (SIGHS)
461
00:18:05,361 --> 00:18:06,759
- ? I'm always walkin'... ?
- (NEWSPAPER RUSTLES)
462
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,050
What the hell is... ?
463
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,190
Oh, a snake!
464
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,170
Snake! Oh! A snake!
465
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,450
(WHIMPERS): Snake!
466
00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,160
Mary?!
467
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,200
Bring a towel!
468
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:21,800
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