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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:01,530 Previously on Young Sheldon... 2 00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:03,800 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 3 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,070 You may kiss the bride. 4 00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:08,570 We'd like to pay for a honeymoon. 5 00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:09,750 What would you say 6 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,450 to an all-expenses-paid weekend at Dollywood? 7 00:00:13,451 --> 00:00:14,749 - Shut up. - MANDY: Oh, my God. 8 00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:15,800 Thank you. 9 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,920 Huh? Oh, that ain't good. 10 00:00:17,921 --> 00:00:20,619 - (SIREN CHIRPS) - OFFICER (OVER P.A.): Connie Tucker, 11 00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:21,720 please stop running. 12 00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:22,839 Why are you handcuffed? 13 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,350 I was just... taking the baby for a walk, 14 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,930 and Cagney and Lacey here 15 00:00:26,980 --> 00:00:30,350 decided that I was evading arrest. 16 00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,610 How's that feel? 17 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,070 Unnecessary. 18 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,490 You ran from the police. 19 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:40,740 You're a flight risk. 20 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,820 She can't run. She got a funky hip. 21 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:45,030 - She can barely waddle. - Watch it. 22 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,540 RICH: You got a 50-yard radius from the base. 23 00:00:47,541 --> 00:00:49,465 It'll beep when you get close to the edge. 24 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,870 If you cross it, we get a call. 25 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:54,420 If you tamper with it, we get a call. 26 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,290 Will it give her a little zap? 27 00:00:56,348 --> 00:00:57,460 No. 28 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,956 Well, how's she gonna learn? 29 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,880 Will it beep if I kill him? 30 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:04,260 As long as it's within 50 yards, go for it. 31 00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,220 I can't leave the house? 32 00:01:07,270 --> 00:01:09,320 What the hell am I supposed to do all day? 33 00:01:09,350 --> 00:01:11,080 I am way ahead of you. See? 34 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,860 I stopped and I picked up puzzles. 35 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:18,020 Got us the Grand Canyon and Dogs Playing Poker. 36 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,740 If I were to run right now, would you shoot me? 37 00:01:24,335 --> 00:01:27,170 ? Nobody else is stronger than I am ? 38 00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:29,790 ? Yesterday I moved a mountain ? 39 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:32,620 ? I bet I could be your hero ? 40 00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:35,480 ? I am a mighty little man ? 41 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:39,040 ? I am a mighty little man. ? 42 00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:44,200 Ooh. I found a corner. 43 00:01:44,250 --> 00:01:46,660 - Congratulations. - Oh, come on. 44 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:48,100 We can have a little fun. 45 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,130 I have lost my business, I have lost my home, 46 00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:54,770 I have lost my freedom, and you want to have fun? 47 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,810 A little fun. 48 00:01:56,867 --> 00:02:00,170 Do you not understand? I could be going to jail. 49 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,420 Oh, come on, please. 50 00:02:01,470 --> 00:02:04,780 They're not gonna send a sweet old grandma to the pokey. 51 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,250 Well, I hope not. 52 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:09,790 Ah. Well, tell me something if you would. 53 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,950 Is that sky or water? 54 00:02:12,007 --> 00:02:13,260 Let me see it. 55 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,410 It's a good thing that didn't go 50 yards. 56 00:02:18,420 --> 00:02:20,340 You can still get it. 57 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:22,000 (DOOR OPENS) 58 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,460 Hey, we're back. 59 00:02:23,519 --> 00:02:25,170 Hey, hi. 60 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,590 Where's my little girl? 61 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,850 Um, she's with Mary. 62 00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,010 Why? 63 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:34,140 Well, how do I put this? 64 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,980 - (GASPS) - What the heck is that? 65 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:40,770 I'm under house arrest. 66 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,190 Why? 67 00:02:42,246 --> 00:02:43,400 We got busted. 68 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:45,570 - We? - Me. 69 00:02:45,571 --> 00:02:46,958 Do they know about Georgie? 70 00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,060 No, of course not. 71 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:50,050 Your grandma's not a snitch. 72 00:02:50,100 --> 00:02:52,030 Which, by the way, will serve you well 73 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,910 if you end up in the slammer. 74 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,250 The pokey, the slammer. What is it with you? 75 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,280 I like cop shows. You learn things. 76 00:02:58,281 --> 00:03:00,346 GEORGE JR.: What about the Laundromat, the video store? 77 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:01,880 They shut everything down. 78 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:04,190 God. So what are we gonna do for money? 79 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,170 - Yeah. - That's an excellent question. 80 00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:11,430 How was Dollywood? 81 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,650 Magical. What are we gonna do about money? 82 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,480 - Hey. - Hello. 83 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,060 Studying for a test? 84 00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,810 Studying to take the bar exam. 85 00:03:20,811 --> 00:03:23,319 Meemaw's going to need a smart lawyer. By the time we find one, 86 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:24,704 I could just learn how to do it. 87 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,030 - Seriously? - Common law was invented 88 00:03:27,031 --> 00:03:28,679 by a bunch of English farmers in the Middle Ages. 89 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:29,950 I think I can hack it. 90 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,370 All right, what do you got? 91 00:03:31,371 --> 00:03:34,046 Well, have you ever heard of Vincent "The Chin" Gigante? 92 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,290 He a boxer? 93 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:37,410 He was originally. Good for you. 94 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,680 But he's better known as a major crime boss 95 00:03:39,681 --> 00:03:40,809 who managed to stay out of prison 96 00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:43,130 by employing the legal doctrine of mens rea. 97 00:03:43,182 --> 00:03:44,500 Which is? 98 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,698 He pretended to be nuts. 99 00:03:45,699 --> 00:03:47,719 He wandered the streets of New York in a bathrobe, 100 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,959 he had poor personal hygiene, he mumbled to himself... 101 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,340 all the cuckoo classics. 102 00:03:51,341 --> 00:03:52,919 Yeah. If you need someone to testify 103 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:54,650 that she's off her rocker, you give me a call. 104 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,010 Thank you. 105 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,470 Toilet's backed up. 106 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,690 What? Don't look at me. I just got home. 107 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,190 - Yeah, but it's had years of you. - (SIGHS) 108 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:04,170 I'll check it out. 109 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,630 Come on, little buddy. 110 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:08,900 You can do it. 111 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:10,570 Talk to me. 112 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,160 There you go. 113 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,220 Let it out. 114 00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:16,700 Aah! 115 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:20,790 (GROANS) 116 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:22,540 Years. 117 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,170 ? Pump it up. ? 118 00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,920 _ 119 00:04:25,921 --> 00:04:28,999 Here's the estimate. I'm gonna need 50% down 120 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,340 - to get started. - Are you kidding me? 121 00:04:31,390 --> 00:04:33,720 We're fixing a toilet, not buying a car. 122 00:04:33,721 --> 00:04:35,489 Good thing I wasn't going to college. 123 00:04:35,490 --> 00:04:38,152 Nothing's wrong with your toilet. Septic tank is shot. 124 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,390 - (SIGHS) - What's a septic tank? 125 00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:42,149 It's basically a big container under the backyard 126 00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:44,617 that's filled up with all your... bathroom business. 127 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,940 Ew! I played in that yard. 128 00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:48,620 Missy, not now. Come on, Phil. 129 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,719 Isn't there some kind of friends and family discount? 130 00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:53,070 I mean, we went to high school together. 131 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,700 Yeah, and you were mean to me. 132 00:04:57,230 --> 00:05:00,830 Oh, come on! I-I was mad at the world, not just you! 133 00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:03,560 I ate that dirt. 134 00:05:05,260 --> 00:05:07,290 - Did he fix it? - Not quite. 135 00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:08,432 And he's still a weasel. 136 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,420 - What'd he do? - Look. 137 00:05:10,421 --> 00:05:11,509 (GASPS) 138 00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,440 - What a weasel. - What are we gonna do? 139 00:05:13,490 --> 00:05:15,550 I mean, we're six people. We need a toilet. 140 00:05:15,607 --> 00:05:17,600 Don't worry. Georgie, come with me. 141 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,341 - Where are we going? - I got a plan. 142 00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:21,230 - Is it a good plan? - Yeah. 143 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:25,680 All right. So I believe that completes the sky. 144 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:28,070 Satisfying, huh? 145 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,460 So, what do you think? 146 00:05:30,510 --> 00:05:32,480 Want to get some exercise, 147 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:34,860 go for a walk until you start beeping? 148 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,950 Ha, ha, ha. It's not funny. 149 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:40,230 My life is in shambles, and I'm too old to start over. 150 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,410 Oh, come on. 151 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:42,660 You are not too old. 152 00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:46,920 Now, listen, you are a smart, vibrant, perky woman. 153 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,460 - Perky? - Well, yeah, compared to me. 154 00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:51,434 - (CHUCKLES) - And I'll tell you another thing. 155 00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,180 Your life's not over. 156 00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:57,760 You are writing a new chapter in the book of you. 157 00:05:57,816 --> 00:06:02,360 A book where a perky heroine rises up 158 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,390 and... 159 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,400 And what? 160 00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:08,400 I don't know. Y-You want to get drunk? 161 00:06:08,452 --> 00:06:09,502 - Yes. - Great. 162 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,871 I'm gonna run to the liquor store. You want to come with me? 163 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,720 - Dale! - Right. Okay. 164 00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:16,460 Be back in a jiffy. 165 00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:19,410 (MUSIC PLAYING FAINTLY) 166 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,580 - (DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES) - God help me, I love him. 167 00:06:22,633 --> 00:06:24,960 GEORGE SR.: All right, just a little bit more. 168 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,410 Oh, easy, easy. There you go. (LAUGHS) 169 00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,240 Yeah. 170 00:06:29,860 --> 00:06:31,750 - Not bad, huh? - I don't know. 171 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,510 Might look better by the fence. 172 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,860 Look better? 173 00:06:34,910 --> 00:06:36,800 It's a big plastic crap house. 174 00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,180 MARY: Oh, dear Lord. 175 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:41,850 You wanted a toilet? Voil�. 176 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,230 - Where did you get it? - From the high school. 177 00:06:44,231 --> 00:06:45,889 We got, like, ten of 'em for visiting teams. 178 00:06:45,890 --> 00:06:47,100 Yeah... give it a whirl. 179 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:48,900 I'd rather die. 180 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,060 - Is there a light inside? - No. 181 00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:53,549 Trust me, that's a good thing. 182 00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:55,414 We'll just tie a flashlight to the handle. 183 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,125 Huh. I always wondered what rock bottom would look like. 184 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,950 Come on, at least check it out. 185 00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:04,080 (MANDY SIGHS) 186 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,290 I checked, I'm out. 187 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:07,760 (DOOR CLOSES) 188 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,249 - I can't thank y'all enough. - Oh, don't be silly. 189 00:07:11,250 --> 00:07:13,640 - Stay as long as you need. - It's only temporary. 190 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,389 Whatever. We're just thrilled to have you 191 00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,880 and the baby here. 192 00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:18,300 And me, too, right? 193 00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,430 Yes, you'll be here, too. 194 00:07:21,221 --> 00:07:23,819 Well, let me give you a hand. 195 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,560 - Oh. Thanks. - Now, Georgie, 196 00:07:25,561 --> 00:07:27,697 if the police come for you, what should we tell them? 197 00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,660 - Mom. - I'm sorry. 198 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,980 I've never harbored a fugitive before. 199 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,640 Mom! 200 00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:39,240 Who's that guy? 201 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,660 It's Donny Osmond. 202 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,120 Never heard of him. 203 00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,780 You know, Donny and Marie? 204 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,040 Sometimes I forget how old you are. 205 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,080 - Thank you. - (UNZIPS BAG) 206 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,730 I'm sorry about my mom. 207 00:07:49,780 --> 00:07:51,500 You kidding? We got a double bed 208 00:07:51,540 --> 00:07:52,790 and an indoor bathroom. 209 00:07:52,791 --> 00:07:55,009 She can spit in my Corn Flakes, and I'm a happy camper. 210 00:07:55,010 --> 00:07:57,260 Good, 'cause she might. 211 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,090 Don't worry. I'll win her over. 212 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:00,660 She thinks you ruined my life. 213 00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:02,500 So? You thought I ruined your life, 214 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:03,890 and you married me. 215 00:08:03,942 --> 00:08:04,992 I called it. 216 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:07,350 I said no good would come of this marriage. 217 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,020 Yeah, yeah, you said it a lot. 218 00:08:09,070 --> 00:08:10,470 You said it at the wedding. 219 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,560 But, uh, still, you know, I... 220 00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,618 I think you could be a little nicer to him. 221 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:17,160 Sure, I can also go out in the backyard 222 00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:19,360 and water the crabgrass. 223 00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,320 We're gonna be okay, right? 224 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:23,030 Oh, of course. 225 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:24,530 How can you be so sure? 226 00:08:24,531 --> 00:08:27,173 Hey, you didn't just marry a pretty boy like Danny over here. 227 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,540 - Donny. - Yeah, him. 228 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:31,450 You know, I'm the hardest worker you'll ever meet. 229 00:08:31,451 --> 00:08:34,096 When I see something I want, I don't stop till I get it. 230 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:35,500 You are relentless. 231 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,490 The good news is, with Amanda back in the house, 232 00:08:38,540 --> 00:08:40,760 I can help her come to her senses. 233 00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:41,980 Good plan. 234 00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,279 Hey, uh, in the meantime, 235 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,599 I was thinking of putting Georgie to work at the store. 236 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:48,180 There you go, watering the crabgrass. 237 00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:50,850 It's not charity, all right? He'll work. 238 00:08:50,906 --> 00:08:52,270 He's a criminal, Jim. 239 00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:55,480 And what I want is to take care of you and CeeCee 240 00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:58,070 and maybe someday a Georgie Junior Junior. 241 00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,940 You mean George the Third. 242 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,490 No, that's too fancy. He'd get his ass kicked. 243 00:09:02,491 --> 00:09:04,627 - Mm, yeah. - JIM: And for your information, 244 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,213 those little backroom slot machines are all over town. 245 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,620 How do you know? 246 00:09:09,610 --> 00:09:11,250 People tell me stuff. 247 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,130 I... I just got... I got one of them faces. 248 00:09:15,131 --> 00:09:19,409 ADULT SHELDON: I had a plan to avoid using the porta-potty. 249 00:09:19,410 --> 00:09:20,829 I just had to get through the night 250 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:23,180 until I could get back to my dorm in the morning. 251 00:09:23,210 --> 00:09:25,510 I lowered my overall liquid intake, 252 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,760 skipped my pre-bed chamomile tea, 253 00:09:27,810 --> 00:09:30,950 and gave my bladder a stern talking to. 254 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,900 My bladder did not listen. 255 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,620 (SIGHS) 256 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,690 I can do this. 257 00:09:41,691 --> 00:09:43,179 ADULT SHELDON: My body may have been weak, 258 00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,910 but my mind was strong. 259 00:09:44,911 --> 00:09:46,629 I just needed to think about this situation 260 00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:47,890 in a different way. 261 00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:50,740 Instead of a porta-potty, it was a TARDIS. 262 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,840 Instead of Sheldon, I was Doctor Who, 263 00:09:53,890 --> 00:09:57,270 whose urine was ready to travel through space and time. 264 00:09:57,271 --> 00:09:59,649 For those who aren't familiar, 265 00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:01,990 the TARDIS is bigger on the inside. 266 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:05,340 This one, however, was smellier on the inside. 267 00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:06,840 I can't do this. 268 00:10:07,081 --> 00:10:10,159 ADULT SHELDON: I'm not proud of this, 269 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,080 but that night, I relieved myself 270 00:10:12,130 --> 00:10:14,600 inside Billy Sparks' chicken coop. 271 00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:17,320 Until my wife, those hens were the only females 272 00:10:17,370 --> 00:10:19,430 I ever exposed myself to. 273 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,860 (CHICKENS CLUCKING) 274 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,800 I guess I could have left that part out. 275 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:25,450 Oh, well. 276 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:27,660 GEORGE JR.: More bacon? 277 00:10:27,711 --> 00:10:28,761 Pile it on. 278 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:30,346 Good morning. 279 00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,470 Morning. Have a seat. 280 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:34,960 Georgie made us breakfast. 281 00:10:34,961 --> 00:10:36,809 - Isn't that nice? - Oh, well, look at that. 282 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,900 - Thank you. - My pleasure. 283 00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:41,509 AUDREY: I guess I'll just have to run to the supermarket later 284 00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,720 and get some more eggs for that cake I was going to make. 285 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:48,800 Oh, no problem. I-I can go to the grocery store. 286 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:51,680 Oh. Apparently we're not job-hunting today. 287 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:54,940 Oh, speaking of jobs. 288 00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,860 Good luck to you, son. 289 00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:02,740 Meemaw. Meemaw. 290 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:04,680 Meemaw. 291 00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,110 What? 292 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,060 Oh, my, you look terrible. 293 00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,240 Are you sick? 294 00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:13,450 Of life, yes. 295 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,090 Oh, good. That's not contagious. 296 00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:17,370 Get in here. The light's killing me. 297 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,580 You smell like alcohol. Yucky. 298 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,210 (DOOR CLOSES) 299 00:11:22,210 --> 00:11:24,000 Look who came to visit. 300 00:11:24,001 --> 00:11:27,319 - Oh, great. - SHELDON: You will think it's great 301 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,899 when you hear the brilliant legal strategy 302 00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:30,580 I have to keep Meemaw out of prison. 303 00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,640 I thought you were a science guy. 304 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,220 I am, but sometimes I like to spread my wings. 305 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:37,430 Oh, okay. Uh, proceed. 306 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:39,320 - What do you got? - It's simple. 307 00:11:39,321 --> 00:11:41,889 We argue under Article 46-B of the Texas Penal Code 308 00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:44,954 that you're unfit to stand trial due to mental incompetence. 309 00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,320 You-you want to tell 'em I'm crazy? 310 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:49,904 Yes. And keep this look. It really bolsters our case. 311 00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:53,330 - Has this worked before? - It has. 312 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,920 Oh. Well, that's good news. 313 00:11:55,921 --> 00:11:58,550 The bad news is, you'll probably be institutionalized. 314 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,830 You-you... you want me to go to the nuthouse? 315 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:03,960 I want you to stay out of prison. 316 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:07,420 Oh, Moon Pie, thank you. Thank you so much. 317 00:12:07,470 --> 00:12:10,400 I really do appreciate it, but I'm fine. 318 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:13,320 You know, I have a buddy whose nephew is a lawyer. 319 00:12:13,350 --> 00:12:14,760 He's gonna help us out. 320 00:12:14,761 --> 00:12:16,469 Is this because I haven't passed the bar yet? 321 00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:18,696 Because that's just a formality. A monkey could do it. 322 00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:21,900 No, I... I think that I'd just feel a little more comfortable 323 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,110 if I was getting advice 324 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:27,690 from somebody who had a little more professional experience. 325 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,750 Okay. I mean, I've been doing this for a day and a half, 326 00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:32,370 but suit yourself. 327 00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:36,200 (DOOR CLOSES) 328 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:39,270 Got your eggs, everything on the list. 329 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,580 Thank you. 330 00:12:40,581 --> 00:12:42,419 Also filled out an application to be a bag boy 331 00:12:42,420 --> 00:12:43,880 - while I was there. - Oh. 332 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,200 Wonderful. 333 00:12:45,250 --> 00:12:47,170 My son-in-law, the bag boy. 334 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,600 It's only temporary. 335 00:12:48,620 --> 00:12:50,390 I'll make my way up to cashier, 336 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,800 then night manager, then manager-manager, 337 00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,680 then regional supervisor, 338 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:57,090 then it's just a hop, skip and a jump to HQ. 339 00:12:57,091 --> 00:12:58,527 That's short for headquarters. 340 00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:01,390 You can do all that without a high school diploma? 341 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,070 If you're a member of the can-do club. 342 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:07,520 God help me. 343 00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:10,540 I'll just put these away. 344 00:13:15,740 --> 00:13:18,570 What's the can-do club, and why is my mom so mad about it? 345 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:24,500 What are you doing? 346 00:13:24,501 --> 00:13:26,029 Cleaning out these rain gutters. 347 00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:29,266 Otherwise, the water gets backed up and wrecks havoc on your roof. 348 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,590 Wreaks... havoc. 349 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,560 No, I'm pretty sure it's wrecks, 'cause that's what it do. 350 00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,840 Oh, look at that. 351 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,170 - (DOOR OPENS) - Audrey, is this your Wham-O? 352 00:13:43,220 --> 00:13:44,360 (DOOR CLOSES) 353 00:13:44,410 --> 00:13:45,570 Audrey? 354 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,240 And the wolf said, "I'm gonna huff 355 00:13:49,290 --> 00:13:53,250 and puff and blow your house down." 356 00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:55,667 Don't worry. Daddy'll never let that happen to you. 357 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,410 I'm gonna keep you safe. 358 00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:59,200 (CHUCKLES) Uh-oh. 359 00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,940 Somebody needs a new diaper. 360 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,080 Come on, let's get you one. 361 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,610 Oh, hey. She's got you and Mandy's good looks, but... 362 00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:09,790 phew... she poops like her dad. (LAUGHS) 363 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,520 Lovely. 364 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,640 Your grandma's coming around on me. 365 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,970 (LAUGHS) Yeah, she is. 366 00:14:19,971 --> 00:14:23,109 The good news is, I've had some encouraging talks 367 00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,072 with the district attorney, and I think that we can... 368 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,730 Hang on. How old are you? 369 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,270 I know I look young, but I'm 24. 370 00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,690 You bring me a child attorney? 371 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:35,530 Well, you were about to take advice from a 14-year-old. 372 00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,200 Oh, who's that? I might know him. 373 00:14:37,201 --> 00:14:38,779 Oh, just finish up what you were saying. 374 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:41,260 Right. A deal can be made without going to trial. 375 00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:44,169 You plead guilty, pay a fine, lose your business license, 376 00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:45,790 maybe some community service, 377 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,750 probation, but no jail time. 378 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,620 So I'll lose the gambling room, 379 00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:51,890 but I can keep the Laundromat 380 00:14:51,940 --> 00:14:53,460 - and the video store? - No. 381 00:14:53,461 --> 00:14:55,819 Those are all considered a part of the criminal enterprise. 382 00:14:55,820 --> 00:14:57,010 They get confiscated. 383 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,970 - What if I fight it? - On what grounds? 384 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,250 I didn't have an illegal gambling room. 385 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,450 I collected... 386 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,350 antique slot machines. 387 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,810 It was my hobby. 388 00:15:07,811 --> 00:15:09,032 And the evading arrest? 389 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,959 I was just taking my great-granddaughter 390 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,730 for a brisk stroll. 391 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:13,920 I'm confused. 392 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:16,190 Did we start the insanity thing? 393 00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,869 I think you should take this deal. 394 00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,256 Put everything behind you, 395 00:15:19,270 --> 00:15:20,370 get on with your life. 396 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,120 What life? I have no life. 397 00:15:22,172 --> 00:15:24,540 - You have me. - Yeah, yeah. 398 00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,610 What if I had something to offer? 399 00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:31,000 Then maybe I could keep my businesses and skip the fine? 400 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,700 - What are you thinking? - That greedy rat of a cop 401 00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,670 - I was paying off. - Rutledge? 402 00:15:35,671 --> 00:15:37,144 He's the one who flipped on you. 403 00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,650 Son of a bitch. 404 00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:41,150 You can't even trust a dirty cop these days. 405 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,140 - Come on, Connie. - Yeah. 406 00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,390 No one wants to see a grandma behind bars. 407 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,870 - Great-grandma. - Oh, wow. 408 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,560 - Yeah. - How old are you? 409 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,730 None of your business. 410 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,360 So, do I tell 'em we have a deal? 411 00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,400 Okay, fine. 412 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,280 Oh, thank God. I'm too old to find somebody new. 413 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:00,860 ? ? 414 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:11,500 What are you doing? 415 00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,330 Making a withdrawal. 416 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:17,130 You put a hole in my wall and hid money in it? 417 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:20,015 It seemed safe. I mean, who'd look for money in this dump? 418 00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:22,300 Why do you need it? 419 00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:23,760 Legal fees. 420 00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:25,260 Maybe a new gambling room. 421 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,220 - Mom. - By the way, 422 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,060 what is that porta-potty doing out there in your yard? 423 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,850 We're having plumbing issues. 424 00:16:31,900 --> 00:16:33,470 We need a new septic tank. 425 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,180 - Ouch. - Tell me about it. 426 00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:39,010 How much you got in there? 427 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:40,990 None of your business. 428 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,530 It's in my wall! 429 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,025 It's the devil's money, Mary. 430 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,180 - You don't want it. - I don't care. 431 00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,950 Last night, I went to pee and there was a snake in there. 432 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,010 Here you go. 433 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:53,820 Get yourself some indoor plumbing. 434 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,420 Oh, Mommy, thank you. 435 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:57,524 (SHRIEKS) 436 00:16:59,110 --> 00:17:00,760 Snake's back! Snake's back! 437 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,310 Nice house. 438 00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:12,100 Got the job. Part-time bag boy. 439 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,520 Well. They let you take the apron home? 440 00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,560 Aw, shoot. 441 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:17,690 (MANDY CHUCKLES) 442 00:17:17,691 --> 00:17:19,496 That's great, Georgie. I'm really proud of you. 443 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:22,027 It's only temporary till I find something better. 444 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:28,330 Listen, Georgie, 445 00:17:28,331 --> 00:17:29,939 - Audrey and I were thinking... - (CLEARS THROAT) 446 00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,500 I was thinking... 447 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,080 I could really use some help down at the tire store. 448 00:17:34,580 --> 00:17:36,090 Really? Selling tires? 449 00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,288 You are not gonna regret this. 450 00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:39,589 I'll work my butt off for you. 451 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:40,679 Nights, weekends, holidays... 452 00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,050 you name it, I am there. 453 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,050 Pretty impressive kid, huh? 454 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,140 We'll see. 455 00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:50,770 "We'll see"? (SCOFFS) Good job. 456 00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,920 - Told you. - (CHUCKLES) 457 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:57,690 ? I go out walkin' ? 458 00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,870 ? After midnight ? 459 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,780 ? Out in the moonlight ? 460 00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,360 - ? Just like we used to do ? - (SIGHS) 461 00:18:05,361 --> 00:18:06,759 - ? I'm always walkin'... ? - (NEWSPAPER RUSTLES) 462 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,050 What the hell is... ? 463 00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:09,190 Oh, a snake! 464 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,170 Snake! Oh! A snake! 465 00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:12,450 (WHIMPERS): Snake! 466 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:15,160 Mary?! 467 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,200 Bring a towel! 468 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:21,800 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33191

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