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1
00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:09,480
(HIGH ENERGY DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
2
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,279
? Every day, every day I work it
3
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:19,439
? I don't want to be pretty
or perfect
4
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:21,559
? Every day, I'ma burn
I'ma burn it
5
00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,919
? I'm a mother,
I'm a boss, I'm a pervert
6
00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,879
? Every day, every day I work it
7
00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,639
? I don't want to be pretty
or perfect
8
00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,000
? Every day, I'ma burn
I'ma burn it... ?
9
00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,279
Mate, what the f...
10
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,199
Sorry.
11
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,480
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
12
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:53,520
? Suck my cherry, hey!
13
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,959
? Hey, suck my cherry... ?
14
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,080
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
15
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,399
Oh, Janey!
16
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,200
(SQUEALING)
17
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,759
Wait. Why are you sticky?
What is that?
18
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,079
Pie.
19
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,719
What? Now you've gone all vegan,
20
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,079
I've got to meat-load
before I come to these things.
21
00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:18,319
No. Gross.
22
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:19,439
Num, num, num.
23
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,319
Ooh!
24
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,399
Here is something
that I made for you.
25
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,119
(GASPS) Oh, my God. My 21st!
26
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,479
(LAUGHS)
Oh, my God.
27
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,079
You can take the girl
out of Mount Whiteman...
28
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,399
But you can't take Mount Whiteman
out of the girl.
29
00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,319
Mount Whiteman for life!
30
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:36,320
Yeah!
31
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,239
(LAUGHTER)
32
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,279
(INDISTINCT, EXUBERANT CHATTER)
33
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:46,319
Shut your cake holes.
34
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,719
Who was Edi's first kiss?
35
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:50,359
Sam Davies.
36
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,519
Alright, next one.
37
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:55,039
Who did Edi lose her virginity to?
38
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,599
'Big Willy' Billy Braithwaite.
39
00:01:56,600 --> 00:02:01,000
What are Edi and Kong's
pet names for each other?
40
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,120
Tus Hlub.
41
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:11,759
It means 'my baby, my love'
in Hmong.
42
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,079
Hi.
Hi.
43
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,399
Hi.
44
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:15,679
Tus muam.
45
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,279
Tus muam. Oh, my gosh.
46
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,599
Who's Miss Teenage Pregnancy?
47
00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,519
Oh, that's Ka,
Edi's future sister-in-law.
48
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,919
She's a crystal healer.
49
00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:26,839
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
50
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,719
Alright, skanks, last one.
51
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:32,560
What did Edi dress up as
for schoolies?
52
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:38,520
(LAUGHTER)
53
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:45,399
Jane, oh, my God,
your first boyfriend is so cute.
54
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:46,639
(LAUGHTER)
55
00:02:46,640 --> 00:02:48,239
Why is that funny?
56
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,839
Sorry. Sorry.
57
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,319
Because Jane likes her men
a bit more...
58
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,839
Um, how do I put this? Average Joe.
59
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,159
'Average'? Rude.
60
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,239
No. No. I like... I like manly men.
61
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,840
Do you mean like that guy?
62
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,399
Jesus.
Carve me up some of that.
63
00:03:04,400 --> 00:03:06,639
(SNIGGERING)
64
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,919
More like him.
65
00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:12,440
(HEAVY BREATHING)
66
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,999
Alright, keep it in your pants.
67
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:40,519
I can't help it. Look at him.
68
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,439
I just want to squish
his furry little face.
69
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,159
Jane's taste
is very meat and three veg.
70
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,519
Yum!
71
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,879
Well, I think this goes there.
72
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,639
Jezza!
73
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:58,679
And it wasn't that long ago,
you were into meat and three veg too.
74
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:03,119
Unlike some, I've matured
and my tastes have evolved.
75
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,559
Your mid-30s is when Pluto
transits into your natal moon.
76
00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:08,759
I cannot wait for my 30s.
77
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,319
It's an incredibly transformative
phase of life
78
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,040
and I have no doubt
it helped you find Kong.
79
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:16,479
Your twin flame.
80
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,359
Yeah, well, you won't find me waiting
81
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,519
for some shooting star to tell me
who I'm meant to be with.
82
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:25,239
I am perfectly capable
of finding my twin flame...
83
00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:26,639
Top up, ladies?
84
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,680
..all by myself.
85
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:31,720
I think this...
86
00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:36,560
..belongs here.
87
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,120
Mm-hm. Yeah.
88
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,960
(GROWLS AGGRESSIVELY)
89
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,919
(GRUNTS)
90
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,079
Hang on a sec.
91
00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,839
Oh. Oh.
92
00:04:54,840 --> 00:04:56,080
(GASPS)
93
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,640
I'm sorry if I'm a bit stinky.
94
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,960
You're perfect!
95
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,319
Nice.
96
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:14,359
(BOTH LAUGH)
97
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,600
(GROWLS PLAYFULLY)
98
00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,840
You smell so... meaty.
99
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,680
Shh.
100
00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,479
Are you OK?
101
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,599
Why are you stopping?
102
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,239
Are you all good?
103
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,800
Let's do it from behind. Yeah.
OK.
104
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:02,599
You're really into martial arts.
105
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:03,959
Yeah.
106
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:05,799
I know it might be hard to believe,
107
00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,519
but I used to suffer from these
uncontrollable outbursts, you know.
108
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,440
Like... (GRUNTS)
109
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,759
Dojo pretty much saved me.
110
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,519
Fists under control.
111
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,160
Chah-ryeot! Kyeong-rye!
112
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,320
Uh... Cool.
113
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:25,839
What are those?
114
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,119
Algae pellets. From Japan.
115
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,919
Kintaro,
she won't eat anything else.
116
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,600
She's so fussy.
117
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,959
Hey, I have an idea.
118
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:42,479
Hey, hey, try this. Try this.
Try my kimono.
119
00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,639
No... Oh, no, yeah, no. I'm fine.
It's a great idea.
120
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,719
I'm fine.
Yeah, yeah, right arm.
121
00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:47,959
Yeah, OK.
Left arm.
122
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,079
Oh!
123
00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:50,400
It's...
124
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:53,439
Boop.
125
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:54,920
(MAKES COMBAT SOUNDS)
126
00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,519
(SQUEALS)
127
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,039
So, what's your background?
128
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,799
Uh, Korean.
129
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,439
You're really, like, solid
for a Korean girl, hey?
130
00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,519
Fuck off!
No, no, I love it.
131
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,919
I just usually go for girls that are
a bit more, like, petite and gentle.
132
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,159
Oh, no, that's cool,
133
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,679
because I usually go for guys
who are, like, bigger and tougher.
134
00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,639
You know,
a man who can handle a real woman.
135
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,199
I'm pretty sure I could handle you.
136
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,640
Really?
Really.
137
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,080
(GRUNTS) Oh, my...
138
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,919
The dojo can't save you now, bitch.
139
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,959
Do you want to be my little mandoo?
140
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,799
Maybe. What's a mandoo?
141
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,439
It's a Korean dumpling.
142
00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:35,919
Oh.
143
00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:37,399
(LAUGHS)
What kind of Korean are you?
144
00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,199
(SCOFFS) Whatevs.
145
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,599
Oh, no, no,
I was only joking. Don't go.
146
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,679
(MUNCHES)
Oi! You're a dickhead.
147
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,119
And you're delicious.
148
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:47,000
(LAUGHS)
149
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,360
I don't look like that.
150
00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,200
Do I?
151
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,680
(READS)
152
00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,520
(SCOFFS)
153
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,479
Eugh!
154
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:50,799
Did you do this?
155
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,639
It looks like a science experiment
in here.
156
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,439
Whatevs. It's good bacteria.
157
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,519
Like, helps the kids' immunity
and stuff.
158
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:58,959
Don't say 'whatevs'.
159
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,479
You're not the mean girl
in a teen drama.
160
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:05,599
Though you do possess many similarly
insufferable characteristics.
161
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,200
(VALLEY GIRL ACCENT)
Oh, my God, why, thank you.
162
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:11,999
Oh, yucky.
163
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:14,640
Charlie?
Mm?
164
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,639
You've got a type, haven't you?
165
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,839
Like,
don't you have the horn for grannies?
166
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,559
(LAUGHS) If you're referring
to my appreciation
167
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,639
for women of a certain vintage,
then, yes.
168
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,119
But aside from that, no.
169
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,239
I am open to everyone
and everything.
170
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:36,319
Well, except for knee-length shorts,
obviously.
171
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:37,999
And back hair.
172
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,879
Hey, what's wrong with back hair?
173
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,639
You're actually into back hair?
174
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,159
Yeah, back hair,
shoulder hair, neck hair, bum hair,
175
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,479
yeah, bring it on.
176
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:47,599
So, what,
you're into like full bears?
177
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,800
I guess.
178
00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,279
Do you consider him a full bear?
179
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,999
Oof, Daddy, hibernation is over.
180
00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,159
Oh, yeah, I mean,
you clearly have a hair fetish.
181
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,840
Yeah.
But they're also all...
182
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,600
All...?
183
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:08,640
You know...
184
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:10,359
Charlie, are...
185
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,599
No, are you fat shaming
my gentlemen suitors?
186
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,800
What? No. They're all white.
187
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:19,120
What?
188
00:10:19,121 --> 00:10:21,119
That is a lot of white meat.
189
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,319
See?
190
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,519
That...
191
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:26,639
No, no, no.
That is not a lot of white meat.
192
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,559
It's a lot of hairy meat,
and they all just happen to be...
193
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,080
Of the Caucasian persuasion.
194
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,159
(GRUNTING, PUNCHES LANDING ON BAGS)
195
00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:41,840
Dad!
196
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,199
Boofhead!
Hey. (LAUGHS)
197
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,679
Argh!
198
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,399
(GRUNTING)
199
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,239
Stop cheating!
200
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,839
Suck it up, Buttercup.
201
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,679
Oh, you. I'm going to destroy you.
202
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,439
(GRUNTING)
203
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,040
Good luck
with those little T-Rex arms.
204
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,479
(GRUNTS)
205
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,079
(BOTH LAUGH)
206
00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:09,639
What's so funny, huh? (LAUGHS)
207
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:12,719
(SOBS)
208
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:13,999
Dad?
209
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,280
(SOBBING)
210
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,199
Look, your mum's been posting
all these pics of her out and about,
211
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,079
volunteering and planting trees.
212
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,119
She's seeing someone, I know it.
213
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,279
That's just Mum. You know she can't
resist a bake sale or charity event.
214
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:31,959
She's a doer. She does things.
215
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,159
Yeah, but she never used to post
this much.
216
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,039
And you don't have to put
your bloody lippy on
217
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,040
to plant a few trees.
218
00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:39,759
Dad, Dad, Mum is not seeing anyone,
alright?
219
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,399
I think I'm going to have to give
Edi's wedding a miss, love.
220
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,639
I'm so sorry. You'll have to find
yourself another date, I think.
221
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,199
Is that OK?
222
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,359
Yeah, yeah, of course, Dad.
223
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:54,279
I just need to take a minute
to get my head right again.
224
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,839
Mm. OK. Um...
225
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,039
You want to go another round?
See if I can...
226
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,519
Ow!
..knock some sense back into you.
227
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,999
It's quite a hook you've got on you,
mate. (LAUGHS)
228
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,199
Fast as a ninja. Hey-ya!
229
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,360
(BOTH LAUGH)
230
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:11,919
If your mum wants to date
other people, that's fine by me.
231
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,039
Ha.
232
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:16,360
In Mount Whiteman...
(VOICE GROWS DISTANT AND INDISTINCT)
233
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:35,039
(SQUEALS INTERNALLY)
234
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,599
She says that I'm closed off.
235
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,799
What does that even mean?
236
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,919
That she's just going through
a thing.
237
00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,679
This separation situation
is temporary.
238
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,359
She's going to be begging you
to come back home in no time.
239
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,439
Yeah, I mean,
how can she resist this?
240
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:51,079
Wait. Oh, nose hair could do
with a bit of a pull, though.
241
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,679
Oh, you watch it, short stuff.
242
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:54,200
Oh, you watch it. (LAUGHS)
243
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,479
I think I'm gonna have my hair down.
244
00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,719
Definitely down.
245
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,559
Otherwise I'll look like a potato.
246
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,559
You have a very Hmong head.
247
00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,279
Um, thanks.
248
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:13,279
Um, same to you, I guess.
249
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,519
You might have Hmong blood.
250
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,359
What's your heritage?
251
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:18,599
Um...
(PHONE VIBRATES)
252
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,199
Oh, yeah, sorry, sorry.
Gotta take this.
253
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,919
That's more like what I had
on my Pinterest board.
254
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,079
Yeah, it's classy.
255
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,519
Hey, Dad.
G'day, boofhead.
256
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,759
I have greased the cupboard hinges
257
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,279
and I have patched up
the plaster in the hallway.
258
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,999
And I'm just about to do
the shelves.
259
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,279
Do you want them next to the TV?
260
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,719
Wow. You're... You're on a mission.
261
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,239
You should have moved in with me
ages ago.
262
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,360
Your mum's not the only one
who can be a doer.
263
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,839
What the bloody hell
have you got on your noggin?
264
00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:46,399
It's a turban.
265
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:47,959
EDI: Hiya, Jack.
Oh.
266
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,199
Hi, Edi.
267
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,639
I fixed up the wonky leg
on your arm chair.
268
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,599
That's my wedding pressie to ya.
269
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,439
Thank you. Now I just need Jane
to give it back to me.
270
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,479
Oh, but it's all I have left of you.
271
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,119
Alright, you girls have fun doing
272
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,519
whatever the bloody hell
it is you're doing.
273
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,320
Bye.
Bye, Dad.
274
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,920
A father is a girl's first love.
275
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,839
Ew. Gross.
276
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:12,399
It's natural to look for lovers
277
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:16,159
who emulate
our earliest masculine role models.
278
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,279
Yeah, Ka, Ka, please, don't.
279
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:22,279
Now that I've met your dad,
I think I know you a lot better.
280
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:23,319
Are we done?
281
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,559
Yeah,
let's see the whole thing together.
282
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,719
(GASPS) I have a moonstone in my
bag. I think it's perfect for you.
283
00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,559
I'll be right back.
Oh, yeah, no, no.
284
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:34,559
Yes.
No, Ka, really, I don't think...
285
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,759
Janey, what do you think?
286
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,799
Oh, wow. OK.
287
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:41,919
What?
288
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:44,239
Oh, no, no. I just didn't realise
you were planning, like,
289
00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,399
going full Hmong up top
and the rest of you normal.
290
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,039
Jane!
What?
291
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,919
Don't say 'normal'.
It's not normal, it's Western.
292
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:54,400
Yeah, OK. Come on, Edi,
you know what I meant.
293
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,039
Aunty.
294
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:06,719
I'm trying to learn about the
Hmong traditions and the culture,
295
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,079
and I'm trying to...
296
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,199
Yeah, never mind.
You wouldn't get it.
297
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,999
Jane is Asian too. She might get it.
298
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,479
(CACKLES)
Well, yeah, OK, so...
299
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,119
Jane's, like,
whiter than most white people.
300
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,319
(LAUGHS)
Excuse me?
301
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,959
What? You say that all the time.
302
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,079
Yeah, but not in the way
that you just said it.
303
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,679
No, I just meant that,
like, you're...
304
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,719
..not interested
in broadening your horizons.
305
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,839
Which is totally fine. But I am.
306
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,679
And it would be great if you
could be a bit more supportive.
307
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,599
What? I am supportive.
308
00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:41,719
I just think that you might be taking
this all a little bit seriously.
309
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,999
Seriously?
310
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,159
Yeah, I am taking this seriously,
Jane,
311
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,479
because this is important to me.
312
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,839
I wasn't...
Kong is important to me.
313
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,119
You know, you've never dated
a person of colour before,
314
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,799
so you just wouldn't get it.
315
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,799
Hang on,
isn't Jane a person of colour?
316
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,679
I have so dated a person of colour.
317
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:02,959
It's, you know... What about...
318
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,519
What about Debbie Doukas's brother,
Steve...?
319
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,639
You mean Stavros? He was Greek.
320
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:10,719
Oh, come on. He was extremely tanned.
321
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,519
See, everything is a joke to you,
Jane.
322
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:18,399
Being with an Asian man is really
different to being with a white man.
323
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,239
But that's just something
you'll never really understand.
324
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,319
Edi, you're not the only one
who can date an Asian man.
325
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,919
I could date an Asian man
if I wanted to.
326
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,479
No, you couldn't.
Yes, I could.
327
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,920
No, you couldn't.
328
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:35,879
Look, I don't know
what's happening here,
329
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,359
but it's making me feel really yucky.
330
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,320
So I'm just, yeah, I'm just gonna...
331
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,319
I'm just gonna go.
332
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,120
Yep, OK.
333
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,039
(GRUNTING AND MOANING)
334
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:51,040
(FUNKY ASIAN MUSIC PLAYING)
335
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,199
(WINCES)
(GRUNTS)
336
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:06,479
You good?
337
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,919
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good.
Keep going. Keep going.
338
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,560
(BOTH GRUNTING)
339
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:20,720
Down, down. Good.
Yeah? Yeah.
340
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,799
Oh, no, no, no!
341
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,119
No. I can't.
342
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:35,279
What's wrong?
343
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,399
Where the hell's my shoe?
344
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,520
Little mandoo?
345
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,199
Can you not call me that?
346
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,599
I'm not your little Korean dim sim.
347
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:44,879
OK, sorry. I just don't know
what's happening right now.
348
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,520
Ow!
349
00:17:48,880 --> 00:17:50,079
Soz.
350
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,279
Ohh. You broke Buddha.
351
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:53,919
What have you done?
Me?
352
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,159
Why are you so obsessed
with Asian stuff?
353
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,159
This. And this, and this.
354
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,679
And this Asian music!
355
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,159
Can you please turn it off?
356
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,599
Sorry.
357
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,359
This situation you got going on here,
all this Asian-ness,
358
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,639
yeah, it's fucked up.
359
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,759
I think you should leave.
Oh, don't worry, I am out of here.
360
00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,879
You've obviously got a lot
of unresolved major issues, OK?
361
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:16,559
But it's not fair
that you come round
362
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,559
and you drop all them
on innocent people.
363
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,839
I've got major issues?
Yeah.
364
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,119
Collecting a lot of exotic shit
365
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,359
does not make you more interesting,
Ross.
366
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:26,919
It just makes you kind of pathetic.
367
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,239
It's not my fault you're
not in touch with your inner Asian.
368
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:30,519
What the fuck?!
369
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,359
At least...
At least I'm not a sad wannabe Asian.
370
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:37,119
You do know you're not a real Asian,
don't you, Ross?
371
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,279
Yeah, well,
you're not even a real Aussie!
372
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,680
You're not even a real Asian.
You're like a fake Asian.
373
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,359
Oh, fu... Oh.
374
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,479
(GRUNTS)
375
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,839
Fuck! Can you just leave, please?!
376
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,719
Oh, far out!
377
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,119
(GRUNTING)
378
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,959
Oh, my God.
379
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,720
(CRIES AGGRESSIVELY)
380
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,079
(CONTINUES GROANING)
381
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,399
What the...
382
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,199
Good one. Good one, Ross.
383
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,559
(GROANS MANIACALLY)
384
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,279
"Inner Asian"? What a douchebag!
385
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,559
GABBY: Jane's Asian too.
She might get it.
386
00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,679
(EDI LAUGHS)
387
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,719
Yeah. Jane's, like,
whiter than most white people.
388
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,240
ROSS: Do you want to be
my little mandoo?
389
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,319
JACK: What the bloody hell
have you got on your noggin?
390
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,479
CHARLIE: They're all white.
391
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,959
ROSS: It's not my fault you're
not in touch with your inner Asian.
392
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,759
(LAUGHS)
What kind of Korean are you?
393
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,239
(CACKLING)
394
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:38,919
Yeah. Yeah.
395
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,999
(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
396
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,959
You're not even a real Asian.
You're like a fake Asian.
397
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,039
(ECHOES) Asian. Asian.
Asian. Asian. Asian...
398
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:52,199
(EXPLOSION, SUPERNATURAL WHOOSHING)
399
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,839
? I'm on the next level, yeah...
400
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,080
(SONG CONTINUES IN KOREAN)
401
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:10,959
? Check it out, check it out,
check it out...
402
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,920
(SONG CONTINUES IN KOREAN)
403
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,200
? I'm on the next level, yeah
404
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:26,160
? The next level
405
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,800
? Next level
406
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:34,679
? Next level
407
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,240
? Check it out, check it out,
check it out
408
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,679
? La, la, la, la, la... ?
409
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,600
(SONG SLOWS DOWN AND ENDS)
410
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,080
Dad?
411
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,680
(PHONE BUZZES)
412
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,800
G'day, boofhead.
413
00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:19,319
Cindy.
414
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,799
Yeah, I found that today.
415
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,159
Your mum must have put that
with my stuff when I moved out.
416
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,719
Jane, where's your paprika?
417
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,960
Papa-papa-prika!
418
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,560
(BOWL CLATTERS)
Fuck a duck!
419
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,880
It's OK, Kintaro.
420
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,759
I've got you, mate.
421
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,760
(BUBBLES BURBLE)
422
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:22,920
OK.
423
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,640
(MESSAGE BUZZES)
424
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:51,880
(LAUGHS)
425
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,480
Um...
426
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:14,560
Mm.
427
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:18,279
When you look back at your dating
history, is it full of whiteys?
428
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,839
Is your catalogue of exes
429
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,039
a long list of Jacks, Jills,
Rachels and Rosses?
430
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:25,759
I bet you have a million excuses.
431
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,599
"I didn't know any Asians
growing up."
432
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,279
"It's like kissing your sibling."
433
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,119
"Their skin is too soft.
I like body hair."
434
00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:34,399
The truth is you have white fever.
435
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:36,480
White fever?
436
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,840
What the fu...
437
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:55,319
Boo's gonna get herself
an Asian hottie.
438
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,519
Let's go get Janey an Asian guy.
439
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:02,240
The dictionary defines 'soul mate'
as the one who understands you.
440
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,279
Jane!
441
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:06,759
(TYRES SQUEAL)
Whoa! Watch it!
442
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:07,760
What a dick.
443
00:24:07,761 --> 00:24:09,119
He looks kind of familiar.
444
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:10,199
Talk to him.
445
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:11,839
Who the fuck are you?
446
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:12,959
George?
447
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,439
Why didn't you say who you were
before?
448
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,399
To be honest, I was kind of enjoying
watching you squirm.
449
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,479
Good news, boofhead.
450
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,279
Your mum's not seeing anyone
after all.
451
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:20,799
She's too busy making new friends.
452
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,399
Mum?
Oh.
453
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:23,959
You ready?
454
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,519
Jane, meet the Korean adoptees.
455
00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,480
Are you serious
about decolonising this? And this?
456
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,959
Ah!
457
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:37,960
(POP!)
(SQUEALING)
458
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:40,359
(SCREAMS)
459
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:41,959
How cute am I?
460
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,920
Ready! (LAUGHS)
461
00:24:43,970 --> 00:24:48,520
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