Original subtitles

Here's a picture of me at 25 years old.

I have always been pretty tiny,

but I just had belly fat that I could not get rid of.

Here's a picture of me now, with this program.

Here's what I eat in a day as a gluten-free vegan.

I've been trying to learn latte art,

but it's really hard with my...

Is your mom coming? I'm good!

I'm fine. Yeah.

Don't fucking call him.

Fuck.

Hello!

Hey!

There she is. I missed you.

Ri Bread.

Oh! They let you out?

I can't be caged.

Well, hey, at least you got your phone back.

Don't worry.

I'm never talking to him again, and I blocked him.

On all your accounts?

I only have a Finsta now. Okay.

I fucking hate Instagram.

Dude, me too.

Ugh! Let's get the fuck out of here.

Okay.

- Bye! Fuck you! - Fuck you!

Do you want to go to Cam's going-away party with me?

The program said I'm not allowed to date anyone.

We hate Cam. Yeah, I know.

But there's an open bar, so I hate her less.

Come on. It'll be fun.

You can just look.

Come with me.

Riley?

Are you kidding me?

Fuck it.

I don't want to go. Listen.

You are beauty. You are grace.

Remember we watched "Miss Congeniality" 18 times?

That's you! You're her!

♪ What is love? ♪

♪ Baby, don't hurt me ♪

♪ Don't hurt me no more ♪ I love this song!

Come on, We have to dance to this song.

- You go ahead. - Can I? Really?

Yes! Are you good?

Yeah. You sure?

I'm good. I promise.

Will you be mad at me if I leave you?

No, I won't be mad at you. Okay.

Bye! I'm gonna serenade you.

Serenade me! Yay.

♪ What is love? ♪

Can I sing with you?

♪ Yeah, hey ♪

Hey, you good?

What?

I said are you doing good?

I'm good. You?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Are you gonna sing?

♪ But you don't care ♪

No. No. Are you gonna sing?

Oh, yeah. I already sang.

Oh, really? Yeah. I went first.

Oh. Bold.

Well, I really like karaoke.

Uh, did you just get out of a-- An institution?

Uh...yeah.

Whoa. Oh, shit. Like an asylum?

Yeah. Oh, no.

Riley. Riley.

I just got out of the hospital.

Wow. Ethan. I just got out of a jail.

Really? Yeah. I swear to God.

Oh, you're lying. No. Like a few hours ago.

This was, like, the first place I went.

What did you do?

Okay. No one's listening, so I'm gonna tell you.

Um, I was really drunk on my friend's balcony,

and I had a bottle of Fireball.

Uh-huh. And, um, the--

The bottle of Fireball was also on fire.

And then I threw that off the balcony,

and it hit a car, which belonged to a police officer.

But it was an accident.

On a cop car? Yeah.

How is that an accident?

Oh, it's-- It's a long story.

♪ Don't hurt me ♪ ♪ Don't hurt me ♪

That's my roommate, Justin.

This is my best friend, Casey.

Thank you. Thank you.

Hi.

Um, I think I'm gonna actually head out.

Um, I'm kind of hungry. Are you hungry?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

I was thinking about getting out of here.

There's a Thai food place down the block.

Do you like Thai food? Yeah.

Do you want to come? Sure.

Okay. Great. Yeah. Okay.

Sorry.

C, I'm gonna go get food with this stranger.

Okay. Well, so far, I'm okay with it, I guess.

Are you good? Just text me.

Riley, seriously?

Okay. I'm good with it too.

Hi. You're a really good singer.

Thank you. You can, like, sing.

Do you do this a lot?

What, eat curry?

Get curry with strangers that you met 10 minutes ago.

I saw my ex-girlfriend back there.

Oh. And we broke up today...

Mm. ...and so I just--

I had to get out of there. Jail and a breakup.

Mm-hmm. Mm. Okay.

I thought I was having a rough day.

Well, I mean, one sort of caused the other,

you know?

Yeah.

Okay, so, Ethan, who just got out of jail,

what do you do for a living?

I'm an A&R at an indie label in town.

I used to be in this local band,

and we were-- We were kind of good...

Oh. ...for a second.

And then we weren't so good.

And then we just became assholes.

And now I just listen to other assholes

complain about not doing well in their bands.

Wait. So, what band were you an asshole in?

You're not gonna know it. Try me. Maybe.

Neon Porches? Really?

What? I loved Neon Porches.

Yes. Oh, my God.

You guys are, like, 2017 Brooklyn goals.

Very specific, but...

That's cool. Do you still play?

Mm, not really. What? Why?

It just stopped being fun at a certain point.

Mm. I don't know.

How did you end up at Cam's thing tonight?

Casey thought it was a good idea to get out.

I've been inside a lot lately.

Mm. 'Cause of the asylum.

Okay. What?

You don't have to tell me. I don't know you.

I feel like I kind of know you.

Mm. Well, you don't. You're right.

I mean, you could be a serial killer, for all I know.

Exactly. You don't know my serial-killer trait.

Your what?

Like, if I killed a bunch of people,

what would my dead giveaway be?

If you killed a bunch of people?

Yes.

Well, okay. I sleep in only socks.

Naked in socks.

Mm.

Is that hot to you?

I hate musicals.

Wait. What? I love musicals. Okay. No.

You are the serial killer. No, you are--

You've killed. No.

No. You like musicals? Musicals are beautiful.

You're-- That's messed up. Okay. No.

If I did kill someone, I would get away with it.

You know this? I would.

That's terrifying. I listen to

and watch a lot of true crime.

I'm basically a 43-year-old white woman

from Minnesota.

I don't know.

Figuring out other people's mysteries

distracts me from listening to my own head.

That's a very self-aware and insane answer.

Well, fuck-ton of therapy.

Mm.

Everything okay?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. So good.

Mm.

Um, yeah. It's really good.

I'm just gonna run to the bathroom really quick.

Okay. Yeah.

I do love you.

So...see you in a little bit. Uh, probably 15 minutes.

Love you.

We got super drunk, and this cat came in in the mornings,

like, walking around our kitchen.

It got in? Yeah. Yeah.

He was, like, sort of limping around, you know?

So we took him to the vet.

He hooked him up with a little cast,

but then we were just like, "We got to keep him."

So, you know, now we have a cat.

I just have to make something clear.

You don't like cats? I can't have sex with you.

Oh. Okay.

Um...

So I just got out of a hospital,

kind of like a rehab.

Not like rehab. It was rehab.

And I wasn't gonna tell you, but I don't want you to think

that I didn't want you to come up,

'cause I do want you to come up.

It's not because I'm a sex addict.

Not that there's anything bad being a sex addict.

I just can't date anyone or be in a relationship.

And not that I'm assuming

that you want to be in a relationship with me,

'cause it could just be sex, which is...normal.

It's just research suggests that relapses occur

after treatment in the first year,

and it's a 12-step thing--

You know, like, one step, two steps...

I don't have to come up.

Thanks.

I don't want to pressure you.

You're not pressuring me. Okay.

Whoa! Oh, my God.

This place is insane.

It's my mom's.

Wow. Your mom is very rich.

Okay, stop talking about my mom.

Uh, wait. Uh...

Uh...oh.

Uh, is everything okay? Um...

Fine. I'm sorry. Uh...

Oh, God. I'm sorry. Don't even worry about it.

It's totally fine. Here--

Trust me. It's been a day for me too.

Just go on and see how these things work.

Um, ahem.

I'm sorry.

Uh, you want me to go?

No. Please. Uh... Are you sure?

Do you want to g-go?

Um...no.

Which is weird, 'cause normally

when someone has that reaction after seeing me naked,

I'm like, "Ooh. Okay. I get it."

But, uh, I'm cool.

I-I'm sorry.

I'm just gonna put my clothes back on, though.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Uh, of course.

I-- It would just be nice not to be alone right now.

Yeah. No. Totally. I-I get that.

We'll just hang.

Yeah.

I'm gonna lounge.

Okay.

Um, yeah. Well, what do you want to do?

Um...

Actually, I have an idea.

The lights were a nice touch.

You really never made a fort like this when you were a kid?

No. Oh, wow.

I guess I haven't lived. Yeah.

It is very cozy.

Why have you kept that on?

Uh...I'll throw it away.

I just haven't yet.

Mm.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I forget things, and...

it's just a reminder of how bad I fucked up

and to not fuck up again.

Yeah. I had an eating thing.

Had-- Have...an eating thing

as well as other stuff.

Um...

And I went to rehab for body stuff.

And my head.

But also 'cause...

Well, I-I guess dying is a bit dramatic.

But I just...

I guess I didn't really care if I did or not.

But I guess there was also a part of me

that didn't want to.

So I don't know, really.

I wasn't really thinking.

Kind of like now. Wow.

I'm telling you a lot really quickly.

No.

Thank you for telling me.

But it...it's also a good reminder, right?

That you're still here and that you helped yourself.

You should celebrate that.

Wait. Oh, sorry. I'm doing puff, puff, pass.

Is that wrong?

I like you.

How do you know?

Well, you've clearly never been around yourself before.

I'm sorry. That was... No, I'm sorry.

No. I thought it was wood. I'm a mess.

No. I don't think it was the wood.

That hurt. I drank a lot.

It hurt? No, no, no. No.

It wasn't you. I...

I...

Never mind. I got in my head.

Are we friends? Are we gonna be friends?

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry this is so complicated.

I... Maybe my body knew

that I wasn't supposed to be doing this

and it just got closed up.

That makes sense. Yeah.

And I heard what you were saying earlier.

I'm not trying to fuck you up or anything.

No, no. No, I fucked up. I fucked up.

And I did something that I wasn't supposed to do, and...

it's been a weird couple of months.

It's okay. Yeah.

It's been a weird couple months for me too.

I like you too, by the way.

Good.

Uh, do you want to go watch a movie downstairs?

Yeah, I do. Okay. Cool.

Okay. Okay.

Oh, sorry. Thank-- Uh, yeah.

Today I'm gonna show you how to pose your body for photos.

Yesterday, I felt cute, went shopping--

And how are you?

Sorry. I...

You started midsentence. I thought I missed something.

You didn't.

I'm fine.

So the last few weeks, you canceled our appointments.

All okay?

Yeah, I just had stuff going on.

So, Riley, what do you hope to get out of therapy?

I know that I need to do something.

Uh...my therapists in rehab helped me a little, I guess.

And then my mom sent me to this guy who was weird,

and he smelled weird, and...

he fell asleep in one of my sessions, so...

Well, I'm really glad you're here.

It's nice to meet you, Riley.

Do you mind if I eat in here while we do this?

Are you hungry?

I just-- I have a few rules in my office.

No food, no coming in here drunk, no dogs--

Which I really hate that one, because I love dogs.

I just get distracted.

It's fine. I-I won't eat.

I'm always hungry,

especially when I don't want to feel something.

So I get it.

Have you been going to the 12-step meetings?

Yeah. I've been going.

Um, I've been trying to go.

I went to one, and it was just people complaining

about office parties and pizza.

I just don't really get how that's supposed to help me

and switch off what my brain automatically does.

What does your brain do?

It races every time I see another woman.

Am I bigger, smaller, the same?

And I can't help it. It just-- It's automatic.

Like, even you. I'm comparing myself.

No offense.

None taken.

I just feel like that's being a woman

in today's society.

All women hate themselves.

I don't hate myself.

Yeah, but...you're beautiful, so...

And you're not?

Tell me what's been happening since rehab.

Uh...I made a friend.

♪ Hi ♪

♪ Baby, how you been? ♪

♪ She says, "Fine" ♪

♪ "I'm doing fine" ♪

♪ Sad eyes and a sunken face ♪

♪ You need to take that body ♪

♪ To a warmer place ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Baby, what you need? ♪

♪ You want to watch the movie ♪

♪ But never read the book ♪

♪ And I, I know that look... ♪

...for my H.P.

That being said, I'm really here to pitch gratitude.

Thank you.

Thank you, Janis, for your share.

You, sir. Would you like to share?

Oh, uh, I'm actually just here for moral support.

I'm friends with Riley.

Uh-- Oh, I'm sorry. Am I not supposed to say your name?

No, you can say my name.

Yeah, right? Oh, okay. Yeah.

I'm not part of the anonymous program or anything,

but I'm not gonna tell anyone I was here.

And I won't tell anyone you guys are here either.

Stop talking.

This is a closed meeting.

Good.

Tell me how you made it this far in your life

without ever changing a light bulb.

Well... I had Hunter do it,

and before that, I guess my mom had the handyman.

Oh. Handyman.

I just feel like I'm gonna screw it in too hard,

and then it's gonna smash

or I'm going to electrocute myself.

Well, actually, there's nothing less scary

than changing a light bulb.

I haven't done it before.

And because I haven't done it before,

I don't know what's gonna happen,

so I feel like shit.

You are the most self-aware inexperienced person

I've ever met.

Well, you're lucky that you're normal.

I just wish I could feel differently.

I think the tools to fix that are in, um, Aisle 3.

But you have to bring your goggles.

This way. Wait.

This way. Bring your goggles.

♪ You, you should take your things ♪

♪ And find a small apartment ♪

♪ Find a better place ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Baby, how you feel? ♪

♪ You envy the thief ♪

♪ But don't know How to steal ♪

There you are. Sorry I'm late.

I couldn't find anything to wear.

Oh. Wow.

Looks great. Wait, wait, wait.

Um, before we go, I have a little surprise.

Just close your eyes really quickly.

One, two, three. Open!

Now you can feel differently.

Do you get it? No, I don't get it.

Okay. So, bugs feel with their antennae.

This is how they feel things. Okay. All right.

You're so stupid.

I know. I know. I know. I'm an idiot. Okay.

It actually kind of works.

You two have done a lot together.

It sounds pretty great.

And if you weren't gonna hang out with Ethan tonight,

what would you want to do?

What do you mean?

Actually, I don't think you mentioned

what you do for work.

I didn't.

Um, I'm interviewing at my friend Casey's work,

uh, today, after this.

Something you like doing?

Dinner theater?

Fun. That's...very cool.

Could you possibly hang out with...those people?

You know, at your new job. Maybe your friend Casey.

I have plans with Ethan.

Riley, there's a reason

why the 12-step program discourages us

from being in a relationship in our first year.

But it's not a relationship. It's a friendship.

That's true.

Do you want to be in a relationship with Ethan?

Um...

Actually, I'd like to go. Uh...

You have fun tonight, okay?

Next week?

Uh, I'll call.

Our last hostess, Paige.

She ran off to the U.K. again with the Gorillaz.

The band. Mm.

Do you like the Gorillaz?

No.

Okay. Great. Great. That's great.

But no hosting experience.

No, but I host a great dinner party.

No. Yeah.

I didn't think that would count.

Um, I went to school for journalism,

but obviously, I'm not doing that right now, and I've j--

Oh, my God, Denise.

Can you just not today? Please.

What? I'm practicing.

Uh, sorry. Uh, what was the question?

I have no idea.

I have been directing this thing for years,

and I swear, every single time,

some asshole figures out who the killer is

within the first 25 minutes.

I'm thinking about killing off one of the staff members,

like, right in the middle of the show.

Just throw people off the scent.

Yeah. That could work.

Okay, well...you have a past.

I can appreciate that.

You have sad eyes.

I can relate to that.

Can you do a British accent?

Um, like...

'Ello, guv'nor.

Mm. So that's not gonna work.

Yeah. I-- I can help her with that though.

Okay, whatever.

Just seat people at the right tables.

Mm-hmm. You're hired.

Thank you. It's a great shirt, Bryce.

Thank you. I can't do an English accent.

I think you just got a job! You didn't tell me.

Knock, knock.

I'm sorry. Coming through.

Well, I've got a little something for you.

Um, I just wanted to say congratulations.

You know, you're employed. Like, it's...

You know, there's a lot to celebrate.

So I thought I'd get you a little something.

It's a ladybug.

Thank you. It's so cute. You know. Like the antennas.

I love it. Thank you. You do?

Yeah, I love it. Okay. Good.

Here. Let me put it on you.

Oh. Here you go.

Thank you.

It's a reminder.

It's like your hospital band, but, you know, a lot nicer.

Thank you. Yeah.

I love it.

Movie?

...where you're not gonna be

the sole individual out here...

My therapist thinks I'm using you to, like...

us, this-- To be...

Wait. What? I use you?

I mean... 'Cause think about it.

Like, think how many meals we put on your mom's credit card.

Yeah.

I think it's probably the cousin who used to be a cop.

Mm. I was thinking that too.

They always do these, like, confession tactics

to try to get these guys to say stuff

that they don't mean.

I'm getting on the bike.

Yeah. I'm gonna get changed. Okay.

But don't leave.

Yeah. I won't.

Okay.

Riley, this is Denise, Katie, and Devon.

Guys, this is Riley, my best friend

that I was telling you about. Hi.

I have to go get ready. Mm-hmm.

Devon is gonna show you your cubby, right, Devon?

Yeah. And you're good?

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You sure?

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm so excited.

I'm Steve, but you can call me Devon.

Let's get you your first-day shot, right?

Yeah. Drinking on the job.

Max, this is Riley, our new hostess.

Would you be a doll and pour her her first-day shot?

So the only thing you need to know about working here

is that the show sucks.

And even when people guess it right away,

you just kind of have to power through

and pretend to be shocked.

It's Mrs. Ott, the maid, right?

The blond girl? Thanks.

Mm. How did you guess that?

No. I-I-I have to talk to Bryce.

Sorry. Max, walk with me. Uh--

We'll be right back. Sorry.

No.

Oh, my God. Careful. Did you see that ass?

I do love you.

So...see you in a little bit.

Uh, probably 15 minutes.

Love you.

...October 23rd, at 4:44 p.m.

The prosecutors had a different time

in the case file.

Fuck.

...alarming to me.

We finally get ahold of Jeremy

and ask to go see him in the jail.

He wanted to talk to Daniel

and clear his name on that front.

He didn't want to talk about the murders

on the side of the road, let alone Miranda

and her statement she made about him.

Ladies, this is your week's weekly Wednesday wisdom.

Please shave the arm hair.

...give us some insight.

Jeremy had tried to change his identity many times.

This was also redacted from the case file,

and this was also left out of the files given to the D.A.

We asked him about the blond wig

that was left on the side of the road that day.

He said that although he changed his identity,

he never wore a wig,

and he seemed perplexed by our questioning, almost...

...I think because I do believe

the original statements made by Miranda.

The fact she went against her original statements

makes it seem that the police were involved.

We did ask him about the night of the 23rd.

He did have a very tight alibi.

There was something about his answers

that were slightly abrupt.

Yeah. I noticed that too.

All right, let's now get into the rest of the week.

Hey.

Um...what are you up to?

Um, well,

I'm actually staying at my parents' place right now,

and they're sleeping, so...

Wait. Why?

You didn't...say anything.

Oh. Yeah. I don't know. I just...

Yeah. What's up?

Nothing. I was just...

I can let you go. I just needed to talk.

No. I can-- I can talk. Also, you don't have to whisper,

'cause they can't hear you, so...

Fuck, I can't do it. If you whisper, I want to whisper.

Okay. Well, I'm gonna talk normally,

so you can talk normal too. Okay.

What'd you do today?

I met up with Vic for a bit.

She needed help with her landlord,

so we caught up.

We missed each other.

I mean, I still care about her.

Nice. Um...

Uh...

That's--

I mean, that's cool that you guys can still be friends.

Um...

Are you still g-- Are you getting back together?

No. Oh, my God. Of course not.

I mean... No.

Mm.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm probably just gonna go to bed.

All right. Okay.

Okay. Bye!

Love you.

Love you.

What are you doing?

Sorry. I...

That's disgusting.

Who is she?

Hey.

Hey.

Um...can you actually come over?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I can, uh-- I'll be there in an hour.

Okay.

Um, can you get me, um, frozen yogurt?

I haven't eaten anything all day.

Mm. Yeah.

I'll see if I can find something open.

I love you. Okay.

Mm-hmm. Bye.

Fuck.

You're so fucking pathetic.

You cannot fucking eat.

I need to...

Fucking piece of shit. Fucking piece of shit.

You're fucking pathetic!

Ugh! Fuck!

I hate this.

I can't--

Help me to fucking figure this shit out.

Please.

Please help me do this. Why can't I do this?

Fuck.

I don't want to.

You okay?

I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.

So J asked me to move in with him.

You know, he can't live with Ethan forever, so...

Yeah.

Big next steps.

Did you hear anything that I said?

Uh...

Oh, God.

You know, since you've been dating Max,

he hasn't talked to you at work once.

We're trying to keep it a secret.

Maybe he is.

What?

I mean, he's...

Stop.

Jesus Christ.

I mean, dude, he literally asked me

if John Lennon was still alive last week.

Need I say anything else?

Sweetie, sex with Max is dumb. That's why it's good.

He's not the person that you're gonna end up with.

I'll be, um... I'll be right back.

Hey.

Oh, hi. Hi!

Oh. Sorry I'm late.

Oh, it's okay. I got you a drink.

Thank you.

And I got the corner area.

You look nice.

Thank you. I like your jacket.

Oh! Well, it's-- It's new.

Cheers. Cheers.

I have something to tell you.

Okay.

So now that I have more than a year now of recovery,

it means I can be in a relationship.

I can date people now, and I think I'm ready.

And...

Oh, hey. Max, over here.

Hey.

Hi!

Hey.

Uh, Max, Ethan. Ethan, Max.

- Hi. - Ethan is my best friend.

Nice to meet you. Riley's mentioned you.

Good.

Yeah.

Um, how did you guys meet?

Riley and I work together.

Okay. At work.

I'm actually gonna grab a drink.

Mm. Okay. Cool.

So Max and I are hanging out now.

Yeah. I got that part.

I'm a little confused, though.

I know y-you can date now

because of the steps and stuff,

but you feel ready enough to date...that guy?

You're hanging out with Vic again.

Well, I helped her with her landlord once.

Not really the same.

My bad, Riley. Did you want something?

Oh, no. I'm fine. Ethan got me something.

Cheers. Cheers.

Shit.

Hey, Frank. What's up?

What? Hold on.

Your dad. He's messed up.

Oh, shit. Okay. Wait.

Hold on.

Oh! Hey! Whoa!

Hey! Hey, Dad. Hey! There he is.

Everything all right? What are you doing here?

Frank called me. Oh, that dick.

Yeah. We're just over here.

Were you coming to the meeting?

No, no. I'm-- I'm taking you home.

Okay. Let's calm down. Everybody calm down.

Okay. I'm calm. I'm calm. Just calm down.

I got my car right here. Right here.

Dad?

Dad, what are you doing?

I know what you want. All right.

♪ There are things I could've told you ♪

♪ There's a time and a place ♪

♪ Well, my words Would allow me to say... ♪

Did I tell you Marty's having an affair?

Did I tell you that?

Poor Heidi.

Jeez.

♪ ...as it's happening ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

You're my best friend. You know that?

Yeah. No.

I know you say that, but I don't know if you know.

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

Oh. We're gonna stop at the store.

I want you to turn up here.

What? No, Dad. We're gonna go home.

Ethan, just stop at the store.

I got to sleep.

♪ ...pressed to my face And in time... ♪

Hey, it's been forever.

Um, sorry for calling so late. Uh...

Lately what's been happening is I try to imagine...

...I know what you're thinking,

but, you know, Max and I have a lot in common.

And also I've been going back to meetings,

and stuff is better.

Um, but, yeah.

I just wanted to make sure you were okay,

and I was wondering if I'm still invited to your place

for Thanksgiving.

Um, if not, it's fine.

Max is headed on vacation with his family,

and my mom is, um...

Yeah. I'll figure it out.

Yeah. Okay. Let me know.

And I'm sorry for not calling before.

Um...yeah. Okay.

Love you. Bye.

I got it!

Hi!

Hello!

Hi! Look who's here!

Hey, kiddo.

Hi! How are you guys? Hey.

Good to see you! Hi!

...and then the baroness dies,

and everyone comes to the table,

and the investigator questions the cast.

Is it Miss Ott, the nanny?

Yes.

Is it? Oh, my God.

It's pretty obvious, huh? No, it's not.

Honey, no. No. It's okay.

I am impressed!

No, it's okay. Stop.

It is bad. It's pretty bad.

Well, thanks. You should rewrite it.

No. Yes.

You'd do a good job with it too.

She knows everything about murder mysteries.

It's actually kind of scary.

It's the owner's baby,

so I don't know if he would let me.

You never know. You can try.

Says the guy who doesn't try to play again.

Oops. Oh.

Sorry. Uh, does anyone want anything while I'm up?

I think...I think we're okay.

No, no. No. Ethan, it's-- I'm okay.

Are you okay? No, no. I'm good.

He's fine, honey. No. Listen.

It's, um... it's Thanksgiving.

And I, uh, want to say

how grateful I am for this family.

And I-I... We have our health--

We don't need a whole speech. No. Etha-- Ethan.

Please let me finish.

Please, please, please, please.

And even though...

Even though, uh, I had some health things this year,

I am a lot better because of the family.

Yeah. Mm. Absolutely.

And so thank you for... taking care of this old man

and for sticking there with me and not giving up on me,

'cause I know it wasn't fun.

But you have to make the best out of it,

'cause that's what life is.

And sometimes you have to look at the positive

because you can't be always so concerned

with what's wrong all the time, Ethan.

Shit happens.

What are you even talking about?

I-I am saying that life happens, right?

I mean, did we-- Did we want to have kids so young?

What? Oh, my God. No, we didn't.

Jesus Christ, man. Honey--

You know we didn't. No. No, we didn't,

but then we went all in.

And it was the best thing we ever did.

Of course it was. No. Lisa-- Lisa...

Of course it was. I'm j-- I'm just using--

I'm just using it as an example.

I'm just using it example because he's not happy,

and he doesn't need to be.

I'm just telling him to make the most out of life.

And so whatever happened

or didn't happen... Okay. You know what?

We don't need to discuss this right now.

It's a holiday dinner, we're having a lovely time--

Okay, okay. Listen, I just want you to be happy, buddy.

You hate your job.

You're working for other people!

Okay. Stop. What happened to you?

What happened to the guy with all the lyrics?

And she's got a boyfriend.

I mean, maybe it's time to just let it go,

'cause it is weird.

I just want you to be happy.

Do you think this makes me happy?

Are you fucking happy? Huh?

I mean, look at you.

Come on. Sit the fuck down. You look fucking creepy.

Get your hands off me!

Oh, my God!

Are you okay? Um...

Actually, I-I got brok-- I-I got broken up with today.

I...I don't have a boyfriend.

Sorry. Um...sorry.

Well, this has been really lovely.

Oh, honey. Honey-- Um, I'm...I'm gonna g--

I should probably...

Thank you for, um...

This is where things get complicated in the case.

Hey.

Hey. Are you okay? Yeah.

I'm sorry. I didn't know... It's fine. It's okay.

...how to help, and I-I panicked.

What happened with Max?

She weighs like 90 pounds.

Who?

This Instagram model that Max is with in Aruba or some shit.

I shouldn't have put it back on my fucking phone.

Why do I do this?

Why do I pick people that want fucking models

or girls who know how to wear a swimsuit

without having a panic attack?

Like, I get it. I'm a lot.

I'm the one that has to deal with me all the time.

I'm this jiggly, kind of fucking chubby,

not-that-chubby, average fuck-up...

Hey. Hey. Hey. ...that no one stays around for.

No one stays around.

My mom can't even fucking handle me.

Everyone wants to cheat on me.

I'm that fucking pathetic.

Did you know I can't even take a shower

because it means I have to take my clothes off

and look at myself in the mirror?

That's how fucking pathetic I am.

I can't even take a fucking shower!

You do this, you know?

It's like those voicemails from Hunter.

You-- You refuse to delete those messages

because you're some sort of masochist.

I mean, you're so much better than all this--

Than-- Than Max, than Hunter,

than some fucking influencer in Aruba.

God. You know what?

I wish I could just give you my eyeballs just for one day

so you could just see what I'm seeing,

'cause I have no idea what the hell are you looking at

when you look in the mirror.

I love you.

And I don't-- I don't mean that

in the way that we normally say it to each other.

I love you.

Since, like, the minute I met you, okay?

All of you.

I think you're beautiful and-- And flawed and irritating,

and I just can't see you do this to yourself anymore.

Y-You're like the smartest, most self-aware,

insane person I've ever met, and you're not even fat!

Not even a little bit, you fucking crazy person.

Just don't trust your brain, okay?

If you want to know what you look like,

just ask me, and I'll tell you.

You're perfect.

I love you too.

Please don't leave.

Morning, Riley.

Sorry.

You scared the shit out of me.

Yeah. Sorry about that.

You want-- You want breakfast?

Mm-mm. No, no, no. I'm good. Um, I'm leaving.

Sorry. That's really embarrassing.

Well, don't worry.

I took first prize for embarrassment last night.

He should be up soon.

It was fun last night, right?

Yeah, it was.

Thank you for having me.

I love your home, and I...I love your family.

Me too.

Uh...I should probably go.

Bye.

Earphones.

Sorry.

So, what's been happening?

Um...

Been really good lately. Really good.

Eating clean, no bad foods.

Just trying to take care of myself.

There's no bad or good.

It's just food.

Just you.

You're not bad or good, right?

So two years since in treatment.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

You gonna hang out with Ethan tonight?

Um...

Uh...I don't...

Yeah, I don't really know if we're going to.

Tell me what's going on.

I'm here.

Tell me what happened.

♪ The sun is shining Through the window ♪

♪ I never wanted you to go ♪

♪ The years just have Their way of working ♪

♪ In ways I never Seem to know ♪

♪ I've drifted In the moonlight ♪

♪ I've danced without you By my side ♪

♪ But I know one day I'll find you ♪

♪ And live the life I nearly had ♪

Hey.

You want to tell me what's going on?

What's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you, B.

Just tell me what's up.

Can you not? Why'd you leave?

Can you stop?

Stop.

No, I want to have this conversation.

What are you doing? Fucking stop!

I've been lying to you.

I have not been doing good for the past year.

I'm glad you're telling me.

In that moment when I'm eating something

or starving myself,

I feel okay and I can't hear my head.

But then it ends, and...

I'm alone and I can hear my head again,

and I have to make it stop.

You know, it's the only thing I can count on.

The only thing?

Ethan.

I used to not hear anything when I was with Ethan.

Yeah.

Can I hug you?

Yeah. Okay.

Ah. Jeez, man. Hey.

What's good?

Oh, you know, just, um...

working and drinking.

But, dude, I mean... you're getting married.

Yeah. It's so crazy.

It's wild. You fucking moved out on me.

You sad? I know. I'm sad.

Yeah. I'm sorry, man.

I got to watch "Long Island Medium" by myself.

Oh. I got to spread my wings.

I got to leave the nest. I know, I know.

Don't let me hold you back.

I can take a hot shower, finally.

I like hot showers,

But for three hours? I have to pamper myself.

I don't need to know all the-- The whole process.

Look at us, being adults and shit.

I know. Adults and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

Is she all right?

Mm.

I don't know.

I mean, no, I don't think so.

I don't know when things got so weird between us.

And she used to want my help,

but now it's like... it's just not...

It's not the same. It's all fucked up.

You know you're doing this to yourself, right?

Yeah, but, uh...

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

Sorry to break it to you, buddy,

but this is not your job.

Never was.

They're not gonna change for you.

Maybe they're not gonna change at all.

Go do you.

It's not selfish. It's necessary.

I'm gonna finish helping out.

Oh, yeah, I'll come help soon.

My husband was a real scoundrel.

I'm the investigator here,

and I'm gonna solve the case of whodunit.

You did it.

No, no, I've been here the whole eve.

Well, that was a joke. No.

That was the fucking matinee.

God, I'm gonna have to sell this place.

It wasn't that bad. It sucks.

So my dad was into murder mysteries.

We loved watching Dateline together.

It was kind of our thing.

And we'd always try to guess the ending.

Has he come to the show?

Uh, no. He died when I was 19.

I'm sorry.

No, it's okay.

He liked things that made you think.

And I guess his favorite part about it

was solving the puzzle.

I guess that's my favorite part too.

You know, I kind of get a little high

when I figure it all out.

I think the show has everything that it needs

to be a great puzzle.

I do.

And I don't want to step on anyone's toes,

but I think I could rewrite it.

I'm pretty good at this stuff.

Some have said that it's terrifying.

I think I could do it.

Okay.

Yeah? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. All right.

Yeah. All right.

Cheers!

Proud of you. Thank you.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself.

So where's Ethan these days?

Is he... How is he?

I haven't seen him much since I moved out,

and he's been so busy with Gwen--

I swear to God... Sometimes, I swear to God...

Gwen?

Who's Gwen?

Do you guys hang out with her?

She's nice. No.

She's a lawyer. We hung out with her once.

Who are you texting?

No one.

Don't text Ethan.

I'm not texting Ethan, Casey.

Oh. Max. What?

Really? Is this how little you think of yourself?

Babe... He didn't hear the news

that I'm doing the rewrite. No. No. No.

I can text whoever I want, Casey.

You're always doing whatever you want, that's the problem!

I don't want to talk about this right now.

You love Ethan, you hate Ethan,

you have sex with Ethan, you don't want

anything to do with Ethan. So what?

And now that he might finally be happy

with someone else, you freak out

and text someone who wants-- I'm happy for him!

--literally nothing to do with you?

I'm sorry, but it's true.

Max wants nothing to do with you.

Riley, you-- You have to stop.

You have to stop using things and people

instead of dealing with your shit.

And we see, we have to watch what you're doing to yourself,

and it sucks for us.

The people that love you

and care about you

and want you to stop being

such a huge asshole all the time.

It's okay, babe. It's okay.

I'm pregnant.

Yeah.

And I have wanted to tell you for so long.

But we've always been just so wrapped up in your shit

that it never felt like the right time.

Look, I-I know that you are hurting,

and I know that you have real shit,

but we all do.

So please, just get it the fuck together.

I do love you.

See you in a little bit. Uh, probably 15 minutes.

I do love you.

See you in a little bit. Uh, probably 15 minutes.

All right? Love you.

I do love you.

Thanks for meeting me. Yeah, no problem.

I feel like a shit friend.

Yeah? What did she say?

That we were too busy dealing with my problems

to talk about her.

And that I'm selfish.

Oh, she should know that about you by now.

That's part of your charm.

What are we getting here?

Um...vacuum.

Oh, do you want to come over and watch

that new crime doc tomorrow about that girl in Ohio?

Uh, I would, but I have a meeting tomorrow.

Um...

Did you figure out how you're gonna rewrite the show?

Who's your meeting with?

You're gonna answer a question with a question?

Isn't that just what you did?

Ah, touché.

Riley?

H-Hunter.

Hi. Oh, my God.

What are you doing here?

Shopping. Yeah, just, uh, shopping.

We-- We just got an apartment together,

so we gotta get the apartment, you know, things.

Nice. Um, yeah.

This is, uh, my girlfriend, Danielle.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah. Hey, man.

I'm Hunter. Hey. Ethan.

Nice to meet you. Oh, sorry.

Yeah, this is my friend Ethan. Um...

Wow, it's crazy running into you here.

Yeah. How are you? You good? I'm good. Yeah.

Um, how's your... How's your brother?

Oh, yeah, he, uh...

He's working for my uncle out of town now.

Yeah, I had to get that guy out of my place.

Especially because Dani here is a nurse,

and she works nights,

so I couldn't have Kev fucking around, you know?

Graveyard shift.

Which is an odd thing to say

when you work in the hospital.

Mm.

Where'd you get that jacket? You from around here, man?

Um... Oh, sorry. I actually grew up in Queens.

Excuse me. Sorry. Um, L Train.

Oh. L Train, yeah.

Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah. Cool.

Yeah. Yep.

It was really nice to meet you.

You too. Yeah,

It was great running into you, Ri.

You seem good. Thanks.

All right. Hey, um, yeah.

Nice to meet you both. Take care.

Have a good one.

Um... You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay. You sure?

Yep.

Yeah. Time in. All right.

Let's, uh... Let's find a vacuum.

Mm-hmm. Yep. Mm-hmm.

Oh, sh... Um, excuse me.

Hi. How did you get in here?

This is my apartment, and that is my stuff.

What are you doing?

Hi. You're here.

Mom. What... What is happening?

It's good to see you too.

I like your hair.

Mom, what is happening? Who's your friend?

Hi. I'm Ethan. Oh, of course.

Ethan. I'm Olivia. Riley's mother.

Nice to meet you. Mom!

You are not taking care of yourself or this apartment.

How would you know? You don't live here.

I pay the rent. I'm trying to help you.

We need to move you.

Mind taking this downstairs... What?

...and giving us a few, please? Yes, Riley.

I cannot continue to pay for you and your friends

if you're gonna take this place for granted.

Fine. Fine, I'll get my own apartment.

Honey, you have no money. How will you get an apartment?

I have a job! I've had a job for a while!

Oh, my. Well, where is that money going?

You can't just waltz in here and clear out my shit.

Like, why now? Why are you here now?

This is the first time I've seen you in like three years.

I was worried about you, and my intuition is never wrong.

Where was your intuition when I was in rehab?

Oh, please. Eating too much because

you can't control yourself is not a disorder.

And you, honey, are not starving.

You can't even admit that there's a problem?

I don't feel bad for you, Riley. Is that what this is?

I wanted you to pick me up!

All right. Let's just go. I would have.

I didn't know it was important to you.

We can just go. Please, this is what she does.

She acts like a child.

No, Mom! You're gonna save the world

and she's worried about her jeans size.

She can't take care of herself.

Yeah, and whose fault is that?

Oh, please, I know your type.

She pays for all your meals,

sometimes even your rent.

She supports you,

so technically, I support you.

I mean, that must be the reason

you hang around her all the time.

Honestly, Olivia, go fuck yourself.

Come on.

Do you need to call Gwen?

No, it's fine.

I used to come to this place all the time when I was a kid.

You play Mancala?

No. What is that? It's this game.

It's really fun. But, um...

Yeah. Um...

I like this place. Feels like your family.

My aunt and uncle said we can eat

whatever's in the kitchen, but, I mean,

we could just order food too.

Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.

Fine.

We also have...

tequila.

No. Yeah. Come on.

I deserve one after today. Please?

Come on.

Please?

All right, I'll just have one.

Yeah. Me too.

♪ You've student loans To pay ♪

♪ You will not risk The alimony ♪

♪ We spend our days Locked in a room ♪

♪ Content inside our bubble ♪

♪ And in the nighttime we go out ♪

♪ And scour the streets For trouble ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

What happened?

Why didn't we work?

Oh, well, I think we worked just fine.

Just maybe not in the way that people might expect.

Maybe it was timing.

Maybe.

You know, I think about it all the time.

What if we worked?

I think something just didn't really click all the way.

Yeah, but...

You told me you love me.

I wasn't lying.

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

Do you still?

Love me?

♪ They're talking about ♪

♪ Us living in sin ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

Ri, stop. Please. Mm.

I can't. Why?

Because I don't want to.

This doesn't work right.

Oh, my God.

What, you love her? That Gwen girl?

What? No. Yeah, you love her.

Oh, my God. No. Okay.

This isn't about Gwen, okay?

This is... Shit.

Oh, my God. What?

Okay, I-I've been going to these meetings.

These, like, Al-Anon meetings. I mean, not...

Why? It's for my dad and Vic

a-and you, but... I know it's weird.

I don't even really fully understand what it means,

but I had to do something. Wait.

Okay. So I'm... Okay, so I'm just something

that you have to go to a program to get rid of?

What? No. No. Like I'm a project

that you just want to fucking end?

No, of course not. Okay. Fuck you.

No. Fuck you.

Okay. I pay for your sorry ass.

I listen to your shitty bands that you sign

to your shitty fucking job. Yeah. Okay.

I know, I know. It's really shitty.

But at least I do something. Okay?

M-Maybe it's not exactly what I want to be doing ultimately,

but at least I'm not sitting around

hoping that someone else carries me through my life.

I never asked you to carry me.

I never asked you to do anything for me.

I help you, you help me. I need you, you need me.

That's how it fucking goes. I love you.

And you're trying to get rid of me.

I fucking love you! Riley, you don't love me.

I do! You're not even

my fucking girlfriend. Please!

You love this. You love this.

This is your whole fucking identity.

You take the fall for other people.

You clean up other people's shit.

Your personality is playing the fucking victim.

You clean up other people's shit because

you don't know how to fucking do anything for yourself!

"Oh, my God, please! Don't leave me alone!"

Well, I'm sorry, Riley, but you are alone.

And you're gonna be alone forever

if you don't figure out how to do something

for yourself for once. What about you?

Why is Neon Porches

a pathetic one-hit wonder?

Oh, my God, of course. Here we go again.

Because you're too busy being a fucking savior.

You leech onto other people

'cause you can't look at yourself

and you can't deal with the fact that you're a fucking failure.

You are the biggest fucking narcissist

I have ever met in my life.

Hunter was right. Casey was right.

You ever think about that? Maybe it's not them.

Maybe it's not me. Maybe it's you.

Maybe you're the fucking problem.

You're just mad because I don't want to fuck you.

No.

You only like being fucked

by things that hate you as much as you hate yourself.

Can't even screw in a fucking light bulb.

Stop.

Shut the fuck up! Stop!

Stop, stop, stop.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Stop. Stop!

Stop!

Fuck. Ugh!

Hey, girl!

Ri Bread!

Where are you? Come here, we miss you.

We miss you.

Hey, I know you had a bad day,

but I got a drink here with your name on it.

So...I love you.

I'll see you soon. Bye.

Riley.

Riley? You hear me?

I'm coming in.

Hey, hey, hey. Stop.

Stop. Riley, come on.

Oh, shit. What did you take?

Come on, get it up.

Get it up.

Riley?

Can you hear me? Oh, shit.

Fuck! Oh, my God.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Hold on. Hold on, hold on. I don't want...

I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

Hold on. Hey, stay with me.

Stay with me.

You're awake.

Ethan called me.

I told him to go home. He'd been here all night.

I didn't want to do it.

I don't want to do it.

I wasn't thinking.

Riley...

I loved your father.

And I love you.

I tried to give you what I didn't have.

And I thought it was enough.

Mom, I gotta learn how to screw in a light bulb.

Okay.

They didn't have anything that said,

"I hate you for scaring me and you're a stupid idiot

with really, really beautiful brown eyes."

So I got you this.

And I'm glad that you're okay.

I'm sorry.

You can't ever do that again.

Okay?

Never.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Do you guys want to see the dessert menu?

I'll bring that over to you in just a second.

I knew it was you.

You know where you're going? Jail.

Call my lawyer! Tell my kids I love them!

Oh, come on.

Whew!

You guys killed it! It was perfect.

Oh, there she is! Thank you so much.

It was so amazing. Thank you!

Everyone loved it. They loved it. Thank you.

Thank you. Gosh.

And you'd better celebrate with us!

Mwah! Aah!

You're Auntie Ri-Ri!

Uh-oh! Yeah!

Ah! Hey!

Hey! Uncle Ethan!

What's good? Yeah.

Totally, totally, totally... Oh, my God.

Oh, that's good. I like that.

I know, I know, I know. Yeah.

Good luck... Okay! We're gonna get started.

Everybody gather around. Make a little circle here.

Uh, I love each and every one of you.

Thanks for coming, guys.

Well, uh, this is a big deal.

I'm in love with this little bundle of joy in her belly.

Girl, guy, whatever they identify as,

we will be the most supportive,

loving and nurturing parents there is.

Yeah, you will! Everyone clap.

All right. Let's get this started.

Let's get it going!

Thank you. All right.

Well, careful where you're pointing it.

All right. From five.

Five, four...

three...

two...

I love you.

And you deserve to be so happy.

But I'm keeping you from getting better.

I need you to just let me let you go, okay?

Please?

Just let me let you go.

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Sleep on the floor Dream about me ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Park that car ♪

♪ Drop that phone ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

♪ Park that car ♪

♪ Drop that phone ♪

♪ Park that car Drop that phone ♪

Oh, my God.

Hey! Oh, my God.

Is everyone okay?

I'm so sorry. You can just leave it.

I'm sorry.

Can I just say something? Sure.

I hate therapy.

Some people do.

I know I'm...

emotional and sensitive and dramatic.

And sometimes selfish, needy.

Ethan used to tell me that...

I was the most self-aware person he'd ever met.

But I've hurt a lot of people in the past few years.

People I care about.

Mostly myself.

And I don't want to do that anymore.

I want to be okay...

with me.

And do you want to get better?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

♪ You've expressed Explicitly ♪

♪ Your contempt For matrimony ♪

♪ You've student loans To pay ♪

♪ You will not risk The alimony ♪

♪ We spend our days Locked in a room ♪

♪ Content inside our bubble ♪

♪ And in the nighttime We go out ♪

♪ And scour the streets For trouble ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ During the summer Take me sailing ♪

♪ Out on the Atlantic ♪

♪ I won't set my sights On other seas ♪

♪ There is no need to panic ♪

♪ So honey Take me by the hand ♪

♪ And we can sign Some papers ♪

♪ Forget the invitations Floral arrangements ♪

♪ And bread makers ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Too late to go out ♪

♪ Too young to stay in ♪

♪ They're talking about ♪

♪ Us living in sin ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Marry me, Archie ♪

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ A-R-C-H-I-E, hey ♪

♪ Summertime ♪

♪ New York City ♪

♪ I was eating a Prozac ♪

♪ And swimming ♪

♪ Swimming to see If I would float ♪

♪ Playing ♪

♪ Playing amen ♪

♪ Oh, these white walls ♪

♪ They see me for who I am ♪

♪ And the secrets I have ♪

♪ And here I thought ♪

♪ Eighteen would make me ♪

♪ Eighteen would make me A woman ♪

♪ Maybe at least I'd feel human ♪

♪ What the hell Am I even doing here? ♪

♪ Sweet ♪

♪ Sweet 16 ♪

♪ I was dancing In the bedroom ♪

♪ Where you took me ♪

♪ Where you took advantage Of me ♪

♪ Holding ♪

♪ Holding trance ♪

♪ Oh, I let you see Through me ♪

♪ Twisted romance ♪

♪ Twisted a knife In your hands ♪

♪ And here I thought Sixteen would rip me ♪

♪ Sixteen would rip me apart ♪

♪ I prayed to go back To the start ♪

♪ Yes, I did ♪

♪ Why the fuck was I given A heart this big? ♪

♪ I'm too old For these growing pains ♪

♪ I'm too old For these growing pains ♪

♪ Stitch me up And hide me away ♪

♪ I'm too old ♪

♪ For these growing ♪

♪ Pains ♪