Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:00,433
YO
2
00:00:00,433 --> 00:00:00,567
YOU
3
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:03,003
{\an8}G ♪
4
00:00:03,103 --> 00:00:06,539
♪ I LIKE COFFEE,
TEA'S YOUR BAG ♪
5
00:00:06,639 --> 00:00:08,308
♪ THOUGH IT MAKES
NO SENSE, IT'S TRUE ♪
6
00:00:08,408 --> 00:00:11,411
♪ THERE'S NO ME
WITHOUT YOU ♪
7
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:15,181
{\an8}Brad Garrett:
'TIL DEATH IS FILMED IN FRONT
OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
8
00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,384
{\an8}MY MOTHER HAS BEEN
CLEANING OUT THE BASEMENT
9
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,487
{\an8}AND SHE KEEPS SENDING ME
ALL MY OLD STUFF.
10
00:00:20,587 --> 00:00:21,454
{\an8}HA.
11
00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:22,756
{\an8}OH, MY GOD!
12
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:25,425
{\an8}IT'S MY PROM DRESS.
13
00:00:25,525 --> 00:00:28,161
{\an8}SMELLS LIKE RUM.
14
00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:29,629
{\an8}SHOULD I TRY IT ON?
15
00:00:29,729 --> 00:00:32,165
{\an8}ON WHAT?
16
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,533
{\an8}ON MY BODY.
17
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,668
{\an8}YOUR WHOLE BODY?
18
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:37,070
{\an8}WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
19
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,505
{\an8}YOU DON'T THINK THAT
I CAN FIT INTO THIS ANYMORE?
20
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:41,141
{\an8}HONEY, NO.
I'M JUST SAYING THAT IT...
21
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,776
{\an8}I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
22
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,644
{\an8}YOU DON'T THINK
THAT I CAN SQUEEZE
INTO THIS DRESS, DO YOU?
23
00:00:44,744 --> 00:00:47,547
{\an8}NO, LOOK.
IF IT DOESN'T FIT, YOU'RE
GONNA TAKE IT OUT ON ME.
24
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:51,484
{\an8}AND IF IT DOES FIT...
IT'S NOT GONNA FIT.
25
00:00:51,584 --> 00:00:54,587
{\an8}I'M GONNA TRY IT ON RIGHT NOW.
26
00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:57,190
{\an8}HONEY, LOOK. I DON'T THINK
PUTTING ON A DRESS
27
00:00:57,290 --> 00:01:00,393
{\an8}SHOULD INVOLVE SO MUCH
CURSING AND GRUNTING.
28
00:01:00,493 --> 00:01:04,631
{\an8}SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MAKING
A BALLOON ANIMAL IN THERE.
29
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,538
{\an8}WOW.
30
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:13,973
{\an8}IS IT ZIPPED?
31
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,811
{\an8}YOU DAMN RIGHT IT'S ZIPPED.
32
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:24,117
{\an8}YOU LOOK AMAZING.
33
00:01:24,217 --> 00:01:28,088
{\an8}TELL ME SOMETHING
I DON'T KNOW, STRETCH.
34
00:01:29,355 --> 00:01:32,525
{\an8}OH, DEAR GOD,
PLEASE UNZIP ME.
35
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,928
{\an8}AHH.
36
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,362
{\an8}OK.
37
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:37,630
{\an8}AHH. WOW.
38
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:40,834
{\an8}THE BRAIN REALLY DOES
NEED OXYGEN.
39
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,537
{\an8}GOT IT?
YEAH. OK.
40
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:46,940
{\an8}ALL RIGHT.
WHOO!
41
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,975
{\an8}WELL.
42
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:52,011
{\an8}SO.
43
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,347
{\an8}HOW YOU ENJOYING
THE PROM?
44
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,752
{\an8}UM, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
45
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:01,588
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
46
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:05,859
UM, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE HE'S UPSTAIRS
SPIKING THE PUNCH.
47
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,260
WHERE'S YOURS?
48
00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,562
I DON'T HAVE A DATE.
49
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,465
I'M PARKING CARS.
50
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,604
AH, WORKING MAN. I LIKE IT.
51
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,273
YEAH, I DO ALL RIGHT.
52
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:24,444
I MAKE TIPS,
STEAL CHANGE AND WHATNOT.
53
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:26,246
SO, UH...
54
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:30,250
A COUPLE OF KIDS
LEFT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE
IN THE LIMO.
55
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,952
WANNA HEAD ON OUT THERE?
56
00:02:33,052 --> 00:02:35,989
WHY DON'T WE STAY RIGHT HERE?
57
00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,425
OH. WHAT IF YOUR
BOYFRIEND COMES BACK?
58
00:02:39,526 --> 00:02:42,195
OH, I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE HIM.
59
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:45,398
YOU LOOK FAIRLY STRONG.
60
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:46,966
OH, I AM STRONG.
61
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:50,069
AND--AND MYSTERIOUS.
62
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:55,775
AND MISUNDERSTOOD.
63
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:57,110
SOUNDS LIKE MY TYPE.
64
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,145
MY PARENTS WOULD HATE YOU.
65
00:02:59,245 --> 00:03:02,549
WHY? 'CAUSE I'M JEWISH?
66
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:04,050
NO, 'CAUSE YOU'RE A BAD BOY.
67
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:06,286
R-R-RIGHT, RIGHT,
RIGHT. YEAH.
68
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,421
YEAH, I'M A BAD BOY.
69
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:14,794
BUT I'M PRETTY INTO YOU,
HOT HIGH SCHOOL CHICK.
70
00:03:14,894 --> 00:03:16,362
YEAH? WELL,
I'M PRETTY INTO YOU,
71
00:03:16,462 --> 00:03:22,936
TALL, WEIRD, HORNY,
PARKING ATTENDANT GUY.
72
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:25,004
HEH HEH.
73
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:34,380
WOW.
74
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,216
YEAH.
75
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,117
THAT WAS KINDA--
76
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,919
BETTER.
77
00:03:46,192 --> 00:03:47,894
MORNING.
HEY, HONEY.
78
00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:50,063
I GOTTA RUN.
I HAVE AN EARLY MORNING MEETING.
79
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:55,535
NO--BUT I WAS MAKING YOU
A "THANKS FOR PUTTING OUT
ON PROM NIGHT" FRITTATA.
80
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:57,370
I GOTTA GO.
OK.
81
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,605
LOVE YOU.
82
00:03:58,705 --> 00:03:59,839
LOVE YOU.
83
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,841
[INDISTINCT]
84
00:04:01,941 --> 00:04:04,877
HEY, KENNY.
HEY!
85
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,312
WHAT'S UP, EDDIE?
86
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,448
HEY, KENNY. HOW'S THE GIG
AT THE COPY PLACE GOING?
87
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,883
AH, PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD.
PRETTY GOOD.
88
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,952
I STARTED OUT JUST STANDING
AROUND MAKING COPIES.
89
00:04:13,052 --> 00:04:14,587
THEN I GOT PROMOTED
TO MANAGER.
90
00:04:14,687 --> 00:04:17,890
NOW, I'M STANDING AROUND
MAKING COPIES IN THIS VEST.
91
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,892
WHY DOES IT SAY "ANDY"?
92
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,495
WELL, IT WAS EITHER THAT
OR LOUISE.
93
00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:27,500
WELL, ANDY, IT'S NICE
TO SEE YOU HAVE A SMOOTH
OPERATION GOING ON THERE.
94
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,903
A CUSTOMER CAME IN TODAY WITH
SOMETHING PRETTY INTERESTING.
95
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:33,039
CHECK IT OUT.
96
00:04:33,139 --> 00:04:37,143
WAIT--WAIT. ARE YOU ALLOWED
TO KEEP COPIES OF PEOPLE'S
PERSONAL DOCUMENTS?
97
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:38,778
IT'S A GRAY AREA.
98
00:04:38,878 --> 00:04:41,648
"LOST POODLE--
$1,000 REWARD."
99
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:44,884
THEN, ON THE WAY HERE,
I NOTICED THESE WERE HERE.
LOOK AT THIS.
100
00:04:44,984 --> 00:04:46,853
"LOST CAT." "LOST PARAKEET."
101
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:50,156
I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
102
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:52,792
IT LOOKS LIKE A CHEETAH.
103
00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,827
I'M TELLING YA, MAN.
I LOVE THE SUBURBS.
104
00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:57,630
PEOPLE ARE JUST
NAILING CASH TO TREES.
105
00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:00,233
WE LOST MY COUSIN ROCKY ONE TIME
FOR A WEEK AND A HALF.
106
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,636
SOME LADY FOUND HIM.
I THINK WE GAVE HER AN APPLE.
107
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,172
SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
YOU GONNA GO HUNTING
FOR LOST PETS?
108
00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:09,342
EXACTLY. I KNOW ANIMALS.
I KNOW HOW THEY THINK.
109
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,476
I KNOW HOW TO TALK TO THEM.
110
00:05:10,576 --> 00:05:12,945
CAN YOU HEAR THIS RIGHT HERE?
LOOK.
111
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,682
NO.
112
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,950
BUT THIS GREAT DANE
NAMED ALFRED CAN.
113
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:19,385
YOU GONNA EAT
THE REST OF THOSE EGGS?
114
00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:24,791
WH--I MADE IT FOR ME
AND--UH--HELP YOURSELF.
115
00:05:25,892 --> 00:05:27,026
EVERYTHING OK?
116
00:05:27,126 --> 00:05:30,563
YEAH. I GOTTA TELL YOU.
LAST NIGHT WAS THE...
117
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,199
NEVER MIND.
WHAT?
118
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,803
NO, NOTHING.
IT'S JUST BETWEEN ME AND JOY.
119
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,371
ALL RIGHT, MAN. COOL.
120
00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:39,972
IT'S OUR SEX LIFE.
121
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:43,409
I MEAN, LAST NIGHT
WE HAD THE MOST
CREATIVE LOVEMAKING EVER.
122
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,144
AND IT WASN'T EVEN THE 31st.
123
00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:46,746
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.
124
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,481
WELL, YOU SEE EVERY MONTH
IF WE DON'T HAVE SEX,
125
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,917
THEN WE'RE OBLIGATED TO HAVE IT
ON THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH.
126
00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:54,620
YOU ONLY SLEEP WITH YOUR
WOMAN 12 TIMES A YEAR?!
127
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:57,757
AT A MINIMUM.
IT'S--IT'S A BASELINE.
128
00:05:57,857 --> 00:06:02,195
IT'S A SEXUAL SAFETY NET,
IF YOU WILL.
129
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:04,163
AND WE DID
A LITTLE ROLE PLAYING.
130
00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:05,898
OH, REALLY.
YEAH. YOU EVER DO THAT?
131
00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:11,037
OH, YEAH. I VERY RARELY
HAVE SEX AS MYSELF.
132
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:12,405
AND I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN,
133
00:06:12,505 --> 00:06:14,507
BUT I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS
ABOUT ASKING JOY.
134
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:16,542
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO HURT
HER FEELINGS BY SAYING,
135
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:20,012
I'D RATHER HAVE SEX WITH
SOME FANTASY THAN WITH HER.
136
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:24,984
BUT HONESTLY,
I'D RATHER HAVE SEX WITH
SOME FANTASY THAN WITH HER.
137
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:26,753
THAT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL.
138
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:28,855
GO FOR IT.
YEAH?
139
00:06:28,955 --> 00:06:30,690
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH.
140
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:34,560
I MEAN, IS SHE GONNA BE HAPPY
CONSTANTLY PRETENDING
I'M SOMEONE ELSE?
141
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:38,030
YEAH. I THINK SHE'LL MANAGE.
142
00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:40,400
LOOK, MY OPINION IS THIS.
143
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:42,502
YOU RIDE THIS HORSE UNTIL
IT BUCKS YOU OFF, MAN.
144
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,637
BUT IF YOU'RE STILL
WORRIED ABOUT IT,
HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.
145
00:06:44,737 --> 00:06:47,707
TONIGHT YOU COME IN DRESSED
IN SOMETHING THAT COULD BE
ROLE PLAYING.
146
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,309
IF SHE SAYS
SHE'S NOT INTO IT,
YOU EXPLAIN IT AWAY.
147
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:57,316
OK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN AWAY
A SCUBA MASK
AND A STARTER'S PISTOL?
148
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,219
WHAT KINDA TWISTED
FANTASY IS THAT?
149
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:03,589
IT'S NOT. I'M JUST THINKING
ABOUT WHAT I HAVE IN MY GARAGE.
150
00:07:18,337 --> 00:07:19,439
HEY, HONEY.
151
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,040
I'M HOME.
152
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,897
THANKS FOR HELPING ME
FIND THIS DOG, MAN.
153
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:47,366
I'M NOT HERE TO HELP YOU.
I THINK THIS IS
A RIDICULOUS IDEA.
154
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,502
I'M HERE TO PROTECT YOU.
155
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,304
PROTECT ME? FROM WHAT?
156
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,473
I DON'T KNOW. YOU RUNNING
THROUGH THIS NEIGHBORHOOD
157
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,575
WITH A CHOKE COLLAR
AND A LARGE BURLAP SACK,
158
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,611
IT MAY JUST SEND UP A RED
FLAG TO SOME OF THESE FOLKS.
159
00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:02,515
WHY YOU DOING THIS ANYWAY?
YOU ALREADY GOT A JOB.
160
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,084
EDDIE, I CAN'T WORK
IN A COPY SHOP FOREVER.
161
00:08:05,184 --> 00:08:08,421
YOU STARTED ON TUESDAY.
162
00:08:08,521 --> 00:08:09,822
SO, HOW'S IT GOING
WITH YOU AND JOY
163
00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:12,358
AND YOUR FREAKY-DEAKY
BEDROOM ANTICS?
164
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:15,394
I GOTTA TELL YOU, IT IS--
YOU KNOW WHAT, KENNY?
165
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,597
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
166
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:19,632
OK.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YA.
167
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:25,271
IT'S BEEN ABOUT WEEK NOW,
AND WE HAVE THE MOST
AMAZING SEX LIFE.
168
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:28,007
I MEAN, NOT US.
OUR CHARACTERS DO.
169
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,342
SOUNDS COOL TO ME, MAN.
170
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,810
NO, DON'T YOU SEE.
IT'S NOT COOL.
171
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,945
BECAUSE WE'VE COME
TO DEPEND ON IT.
172
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:34,814
WE CAN'T GO BACK
TO THE WAY WE WERE.
173
00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:38,384
WHERE DOES IT END, MAN?
WHERE DOES IT END?
174
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:40,586
WHERE DOES IT END?
IT ENDS WHERE ALL
SEXUAL ADVENTURES END?
175
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:44,257
THAILAND. PUPPY ALERT!
PUPPY ALERT!
176
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,625
STOP THE CAR!
177
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:47,126
IT'S THE MIDDLE
OF THE STREET.
178
00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:48,694
HOLD THAT. HOLD THAT.
179
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,963
THERE'S PEOPLE--
180
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:53,299
AAH! AAH!
181
00:08:53,399 --> 00:08:54,934
[GROWL]
182
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:56,936
KENNY! KENNY!
183
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,571
AAH!
184
00:08:58,671 --> 00:08:59,472
AAH!
185
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,707
[GASPING]
186
00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:02,708
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
187
00:09:02,808 --> 00:09:05,411
THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE CHEETAH.
188
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:14,453
SO, I GUESS WE SHOULD
GO UP TO BED NOW, HUH?
189
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,188
YEP.
190
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,158
I GOT THE COSTUMES IN THE CAR.
191
00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:20,660
YOUR MESSAGE WAS A LITTLE FUZZY.
192
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,930
I COULDN'T TELL IF YOU WERE
SAYING UMPIRE OR VAMPIRE.
193
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:28,067
SO, I--SO I GOT BOTH.
194
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,436
YEAH, ON THAT. UM...
195
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:32,538
YOU KNOW, I--
196
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:36,275
DO YOU THINK THE COSTUMES
ARE LOSING THEIR KICK?
197
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,777
YES. THANK YOU.
198
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,679
I AM SO GLAD YOU SAID SOMETHING.
199
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,113
ME TOO. ME TOO.
200
00:09:41,213 --> 00:09:42,982
I'M JUST GLAD WE'RE
ON THE SAME PAGE.
201
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,517
YES. OF COURSE.
202
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:48,287
SO--SO WHAT DO WE DO?
SHOULD WE GO BACK
BEING OURSELVES?
203
00:09:48,387 --> 00:09:50,323
OH, GOD NO!
204
00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:53,759
NO?
205
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:55,394
NO. NO WAY. DON'T EVER
SAY THAT AGAIN.
206
00:09:55,494 --> 00:09:58,030
YOU SHUT YOUR FACE.
207
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,502
WELL, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
208
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,639
WHAT DO YOU SAY
WE TAKE IT UP A NOTCH?
209
00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:12,945
WELL--LOOK IF YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT YOUR
FRIEND LORI, I'M OPEN.
210
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:17,950
NO.
NO!
211
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:20,686
NO. HELLO, I'M KIDDING.
212
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:23,522
NO, IT'S NOT--NO.
213
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,924
NO, I'M JUST SAYING,
214
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:29,261
YOU KNOW, STAY WITH THE
ROLE-PLAYING FANTASY THING.
215
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:32,965
BUT PERHAPS WE SHOULD TAKE
IT OUT OF THE HOUSE.
216
00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:36,035
AND TO LORI'S PLACE.
217
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,070
NO. NO.
218
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,972
COME ON. DO YOU KNOW ME?
219
00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,440
STOP WITH THAT. OK?
220
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:45,211
NO. MY FRIEND TOLD ME
THAT SHE AND HER HUSBAND
221
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:48,481
THEY WENT TO A BAR
AND THEY PRETENDED NOT
TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
222
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:52,485
AND HE PICKED HER UP.
AND IT SOUNDED KINDA HOT.
223
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:53,619
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
224
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:55,254
OK. SO--SO WE GO SOMEWHERE.
225
00:10:55,354 --> 00:10:57,590
AND WE ACT LIKE WE DON'T EVEN
KNOW EACH OTHER.
226
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:58,824
MM-HMM.
227
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:01,193
THIS IS GOOD.
WE WILL--UH--TOMORROW NIGHT,
228
00:11:01,293 --> 00:11:04,463
WE WILL MEET
AT THE UPTOWN HOTEL.
229
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:05,931
MMM.
AT THE BAR.
230
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:08,868
AND I'LL BE WEARING
A PURPLE CARNATION.
231
00:11:08,968 --> 00:11:12,204
I KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
232
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,077
{\an8}EDDIE WAS RIGHT.
233
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,413
WHAT WAS I THINKING?
234
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,328
HEY, MR. BUMPERS.
235
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:41,567
SHOW ME THAT $1,000 SMILE.
236
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,062
HI.
237
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:12,598
HI.
238
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,570
COME HERE OFTEN?
239
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:20,206
REALLY?
240
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,407
SORRY.
241
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:24,810
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER
RUN AT IT.
242
00:12:46,799 --> 00:12:48,134
GOOD EVENING.
243
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:52,304
I'M A TRAVELING BUSINESSMAN,
244
00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:56,041
WHO CAME TO YOUR TOWN
245
00:12:56,142 --> 00:13:00,112
TO BUY A LARGE COMPANY.
246
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:04,216
MY WORK IS FINANCIALLY
REWARDING.
247
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:07,887
BUT ALAS EMOTIONALLY EMPTY.
248
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,357
MAY I JOIN YOU?
249
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,259
I DON'T THINK SO.
250
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,261
ALL RIGHT.
251
00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:20,032
WAITING FOR SOME FRIENDS.
252
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,934
PLAYING HARD TO GET,
ARE YOU?
253
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:25,371
OH, I'M NOT PLAYING
ANYTHING MR...
254
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,606
FUJIMOTO.
255
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:33,679
TONY FUJIMOTO.
256
00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:34,613
TONY.
257
00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:37,049
WOW. THAT'S QUITE A NAME.
258
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:38,851
QUITE A MAN.
259
00:13:38,951 --> 00:13:41,520
QUITE A MAN.
260
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,590
CAN I BUY YOU A DRINK?
261
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:47,927
WELL, I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT
FOR NOW. THANK YOU.
262
00:13:48,027 --> 00:13:51,697
Woman:
I'LL TAKE THAT DRINK.
263
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,502
WELL, WELL, WELL.
264
00:13:56,602 --> 00:13:59,972
THE FISH ARE BITING TONIGHT.
265
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:09,081
TONY FUJIMOTO.
266
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:13,953
MY FRIENDS CALL ME TO-FU.
267
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:18,724
BARTENDER, ANOTHER ROUND
FOR THE LADY, PLEASE.
268
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,426
I'M A TRAVELING BUSINESSMAN.
269
00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,727
I HAVE COME TO YOUR TOWN
270
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:24,496
TO PURCHASE A LARGE COMPANY.
271
00:14:24,597 --> 00:14:28,133
THANKS. LARRY, WAIT UP!
272
00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:31,837
SO, RYAN WAS IT?
273
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,272
YEAH.
274
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,341
HOW MANY YEARS DID YOU PLAY
PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY?
275
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:37,877
THREE SEASONS
UNTIL I BLEW OUT MY KNEE.
276
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,279
DID YOU EVER
GET INTO FIGHTS?
277
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,948
WELL, YOU TRY NOT TO.
BUT IT'S INEVITABLE.
278
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,483
I TELL YA.
THERE'S NO BETTER FEELING
279
00:14:44,583 --> 00:14:49,021
THAN POUNDING SOMEONE AGAINST
THE BOARDS FOR 60 MINUTES.
280
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,856
DO GO ON.
281
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:54,126
YOU KNOW, BEING A D.A.
ISN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT
THAN PLAYING HOCKEY.
282
00:14:54,226 --> 00:14:55,728
IT'S THE SAME AGGRESSIVE
ATMOSPHERE,
283
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:59,598
AND I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO THROW
A COUPLE OF ELBOWS
284
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,233
WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?
285
00:15:01,333 --> 00:15:04,169
UM, HELLO.
286
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,039
CAN I HELP YOU?
287
00:15:07,139 --> 00:15:10,643
YEAH, I WAS JUST GONNA
TALK TO THE LADY.
288
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,711
OH, WELL, I'M KINDA TALKING
TO THE LADY NOW.
289
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:15,014
SO WHY DON'T YOU MOVE ALONG.
290
00:15:15,114 --> 00:15:16,448
WOW.
291
00:15:16,548 --> 00:15:21,153
MAYBE THE LADY WANTS
YOU TO MOVE ALONG.
292
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,388
JOY?
293
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:24,356
NO, I'M GOOD.
294
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,327
I'M SORRY.
DO YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER?
295
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,130
YEAH, THIS IS TONY.
296
00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:34,700
TONY FUJIMOTO.
297
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:41,407
PRESIDENT AND C.E.O.
OF THE FUJIMOTO GROUP.
298
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,643
ARE YOU TWO TOGETHER?
NO. NO. NO.
299
00:15:44,743 --> 00:15:48,447
FUNNY, I ACTUALLY USED
TO BE MARRIED TO A GUY
THAT LOOKED A LOT LIKE HIM.
300
00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:51,717
BUT SADLY HE DIED IN A FIRE.
301
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:56,488
AND I USED TO BE MARRIED
TO A GIRL LIKE HER
302
00:15:56,588 --> 00:16:01,060
UNTIL WINE AND COOKIE
DOUGH DID HER IN.
303
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,964
LISTEN, JOY, I WOULD LOVE
TO TAKE YOU OUT
TO DINNER SOMETIME.
304
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:07,066
CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
305
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:13,772
[DOORBELL]
306
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,811
OH, MY GOD! MR. BUMPERS.
HEY, EVERYONE. HE'S BACK!
307
00:16:18,911 --> 00:16:20,112
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
308
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:21,714
OH, NO BIGGIE.
HAPPY TO HELP.
309
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,882
I KNEW HE'D COME BACK.
I JUST KNEW IT.
310
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,351
OH, TIMMY CAN YOU BELIEVE IT.
311
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,153
THANK YOU MISTER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
312
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:30,789
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME,
SLUGGER.
313
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,224
HE'S ADORABLE.
314
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,094
WELL, AGAIN, WE'RE JUST
SO HAPPY TO HAVE HIM BACK.
315
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:38,197
AND I'M HAPPY
TO BRING HIM BACK.
316
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,566
UH, CAN I HUG HIM?
317
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,434
ABSOLUTELY.
318
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,436
GIVE IT THERE, TIMMY.
GIVE IT THERE.
319
00:16:44,536 --> 00:16:47,673
YEAH. ALL RIGHT. OK.
ALL RIGHT.
320
00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,844
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
WE CAN DO FOR YOU?
321
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:55,748
WELL, LET'S JUST
TAKE A QUICK LOOK
AT THE CONTRACT--
322
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,950
I MEAN FLYER.
323
00:16:58,050 --> 00:16:59,852
OK. LET'S SEE HERE.
324
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:04,456
WE'VE TAKEN CARE OF
THE LOST POODLE PART.
325
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:07,926
THAT'S ALL DONE.
326
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,863
SO, ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS TAKE CARE OF--
327
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:14,700
OH! THIS PART RIGHT HERE.
328
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,935
OH, THE REWARD.
329
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,571
YOU PUT $1,000 DOWN?!
330
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:24,209
IS THAT WHAT IT WAS,
1,000?
331
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:28,947
CAN'T PUT A PRICE
ON LOVE, BUT, UH, YOU DID.
332
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,316
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
333
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:39,324
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GAVE HIM
YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
334
00:17:39,425 --> 00:17:42,394
IT WAS A FAKE NUMBER.
335
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,763
BUT IT WAS A NUMBER.
336
00:17:44,863 --> 00:17:47,533
IT WAS OUR DENTIST'S NUMBER.
337
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,436
OH, SO HOW DO YOU KNOW
HIS NUMBER BY HEART, HUH?
338
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:51,870
ARE YOU IN TO HIM, TOO?
339
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,739
ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING
ON THE SIDE WITH DR. SIEGELMAN?
340
00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:57,509
OK. YOU STARTED IT
BY OFFERING THAT
OTHER GIRL A DRINK.
341
00:17:57,609 --> 00:17:59,778
THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU TURNED ME DOWN.
342
00:17:59,878 --> 00:18:01,580
I WANTED YOU TO WORK FOR IT.
343
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,584
I WASN'T COMING THERE TO WORK.
I CAME THERE TO GET SOME.
344
00:18:05,684 --> 00:18:09,288
YEAH. AND YOU'RE GONNA.
'CAUSE THIS WHOLE THING
KINDA WORKED FOR ME.
345
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:10,589
SO LET'S GO UPSTAIRS.
346
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:12,791
NO. NO. NO. I'M NOT GOING
UPSTAIRS WITH YOU.
347
00:18:12,891 --> 00:18:14,026
WHY NOT?
348
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:17,029
BECAUSE YOU'LL
JUST BE THINKING ABOUT RYAN.
349
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:20,966
SO? ISN'T THAT
WHAT WE BOTH HAVE BEEN
DOING THIS WHOLE TIME?
350
00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:25,270
NO. IT IS NOT.
WE HAVE BEEN PRETENDING
TO BE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.
351
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:28,841
LIKE VAMPIRES
AND CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRLS
352
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:32,444
AND FAST FOOD MASCOTS.
353
00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,947
THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.
354
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,983
RYAN IS OUT THERE.
AND HE IS REAL.
355
00:18:38,083 --> 00:18:41,487
AND HE HAS
OUR DENTIST'S NUMBER.
356
00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:44,623
I'M NEVER GONNA SEE
RYAN AGAIN.
357
00:18:44,723 --> 00:18:47,226
OK. YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S NOT THE POINT, JOY.
358
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,728
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
359
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,397
IT'S JUST THAT IF WE
WERE REALLY AT THAT BAR
360
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:56,902
AND WE WERE TOTAL STRANGERS
AND YOU MET ME AND RYAN,
361
00:18:57,002 --> 00:18:59,671
I NEVER WOULD HAVE HAD A SHOT.
362
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:02,441
NO, I MEAN. COME ON,
YOU DON'T THINK I DATED
GUYS LIKE RYAN?
363
00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,209
THEY'RE A DIME A DOZEN.
364
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:10,149
I CHOSE YOU BECAUSE
OF ALL THE THINGS
I LOVE ABOUT YOU.
365
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,117
LIKE WHAT?
366
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:18,924
DON'T MAKE ME SAY IT.
YOU KNOW.
367
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:23,362
I MAY.
368
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:27,299
IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HEAR IT.
369
00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:30,969
OK. YOU'RE SWEET.
370
00:19:31,069 --> 00:19:32,871
AND YOU'RE FUNNY.
371
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:34,606
AND CUTE?
372
00:19:34,706 --> 00:19:36,642
YOU'RE VERY CUTE.
373
00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:40,579
HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.
374
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:45,184
WHY DON'T WE JUST
BE OURSELVES TONIGHT.
375
00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:46,785
I WILL BE A TRAVEL AGENT.
376
00:19:46,885 --> 00:19:51,423
AND YOU WILL BE
A HIGH SCHOOL
HISTORY TEACHER.
377
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:52,925
OH, YEAH?
378
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,426
MM-HMM. OH YEAH.
379
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,527
DOES THAT DO IT FOR YOU?
380
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:56,795
OH, YEAH SURE DOES.
381
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:59,364
WELL, I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG.
382
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:02,901
BUT I PULL DOWN
A LOW 5-FIGURE SALARY
383
00:20:03,001 --> 00:20:09,975
WITH A MANDATORY 1.5 PERCENT
INCREASE EVERY 7 YEARS.
384
00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:16,381
WELL, I DRIVE A TAURUS
WITH 120,000 MILES ON IT.
385
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:23,121
I ATE A SANDWICH YESTERDAY
THAT I FOUND ON A TABLE.
386
00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:34,533
I HAVEN'T READ A BOOK
IN 12 YEARS.
387
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,604
I FORGOT HOW TO DIVIDE.
388
00:20:38,704 --> 00:20:44,109
WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS AND HAVE
REALLY ORDINARY SEX?
389
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:48,413
YES. PREPARE
TO BE UNDERWHELMED.
390
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:57,556
996, 997, 998.
391
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:05,831
{\an8}I THINK THERE'S A FEW MORE
DOLLARS IN HERE, DADDY.
392
00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:17,042
{\an8}5, 6, 7, 8...
393
00:21:17,142 --> 00:21:20,612
{\an8}THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT!
I QUIT! THAT'S IT!
394
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:22,781
{\an8}ENOUGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
395
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,317
{\an8}KEEP YOUR MONEY
AND KEEP YOUR DOG.
396
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:29,588
{\an8}WHY DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE
TO BE SO DAMN ADORABLE?!
397
00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:33,358
{\an8}[CHEERING]
30054
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
