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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,519 --> 00:00:10,880 Say what you like... Bum. 2 00:00:10,919 --> 00:00:12,800 Knickers. Duck's arse. 3 00:00:12,839 --> 00:00:17,039 Say what you like... you can't beat a May Day in England. 4 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:18,519 Eggs. Hear that, Mariette? 5 00:00:18,559 --> 00:00:20,800 You will not get eggs as good as that in France. 6 00:00:20,839 --> 00:00:22,839 No. Snails for breakfast in your France. 7 00:00:22,879 --> 00:00:25,199 Croissants, actually. And baguette. 8 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:29,559 It is normal for me to want to spread my wings. 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,760 Don't make it harder for me. Morning. 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,560 Oh, Charley! ALL: Good morning! 11 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,799 Now, are you still all right kipping in the spare bathroom? Yeah. 12 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,520 Yeah, pee from your bed. Just the job. 13 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,479 Yeah. That's, er, quite a timesaver. Mm! 14 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:46,320 No, I love it here. 15 00:00:46,359 --> 00:00:51,000 I'll sleep anywhere. But I do need to get back to work. 16 00:00:51,039 --> 00:00:54,119 I can't keep delaying my return to the tax office. What?! 17 00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:55,799 No, don't be daft. Phooey. 18 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,280 Look, there's plenty of graft here. 19 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,039 The big strawberry pick starts today. Mm. 20 00:00:59,079 --> 00:01:01,600 You can help us. Yes... Yeah, I'd love to. 21 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,000 I'll be flitting around as well. 22 00:01:03,039 --> 00:01:04,680 Gotta find out if Tom Fisher's serious 23 00:01:04,719 --> 00:01:06,879 about turning Bluff Court into a hotel. 24 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,120 Ooh, you hate having a rival. Don't ya? 25 00:01:09,159 --> 00:01:12,560 No, nonsense, Ma. I wish him every success. 26 00:01:12,599 --> 00:01:14,719 All's fair in romance and business. 27 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,159 Tom's your boyfriend. No, he isn't. 28 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,120 He loves ya. Everybody loves you. 29 00:01:20,159 --> 00:01:21,719 THEY GIGGLE 30 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,400 HE WHISTLES 31 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,920 Come on. 32 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,280 That's it. 33 00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:42,319 Who needs some punnets? 34 00:01:42,359 --> 00:01:45,159 All right, ladies. Right. Punnets? 35 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:55,439 Here comes trouble! You know it. 36 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,159 POP SHOUTS: So long! HORN BLASTS 37 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:01,079 See you later. Goodbye! 38 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,199 Bit slow, aren't you? No, you're just very fast. 39 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:14,479 Wow! They've run riot this year. 40 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,800 We'll have trouble shifting all this fruit. 41 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:19,080 Tax man's sweating up a storm already. 42 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:20,360 All right, duckie? 43 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,800 Oh, yes. Thank you... duckie. 44 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:24,479 THEY CHUCKLE 45 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:26,319 You know, you don't need to call her duckie. 46 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,080 Yeah, well, I didn't wanna look haughty. 47 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,240 SHE GIGGLES 48 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:34,520 All right, Libby? Something missing? 49 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,759 Horse. Horse. That's the one. 50 00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:40,080 Second Sunday after Trinity. 51 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,280 It's gonna be a rip-snorting service. 52 00:02:42,319 --> 00:02:43,520 I'll bet it is. 53 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,960 I plan to release doves big as weasels. 54 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,400 Good! I've borrowed 'em. 55 00:02:48,439 --> 00:02:52,280 They'll be on a long string, so I'll get 'em back. Huh. 56 00:02:52,319 --> 00:02:56,599 Ah, my two favourite people. What's wrong with your faces? 57 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,800 The railway station is closing. No! 58 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,840 Absolutely ghastly. I love trains. 59 00:03:01,879 --> 00:03:04,280 The dining car, cheery liveried porters... 60 00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:05,400 "All aboard!" 61 00:03:05,439 --> 00:03:07,280 When were you last on a train, Edith? 62 00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:09,240 Oh, not for donkey's years. 63 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,039 Me, neither. Maybe that's the problem. 64 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,479 I use them all the time. 65 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,599 I suppose I'll get used to advancing by bus instead... rather slowly. 66 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:18,080 General, we can't have that. 67 00:03:33,599 --> 00:03:34,800 Mornin'. 68 00:03:38,479 --> 00:03:42,759 Not bad, eh? Ripe and luscious. 69 00:03:46,599 --> 00:03:49,599 Right, let's get these weighed. How would you weigh them? 70 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,120 You're melting. 71 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,919 POP WHISTLES 72 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,319 BELL DINGS 73 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,240 What's all this, Foxy? Shutting up shop? 74 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,439 Looks like it. Disaster. 75 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,279 How are folks gonna get to town? 76 00:04:28,319 --> 00:04:29,800 Ask the train company. 77 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:32,680 They only care about money, not ordinary people. 78 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:35,519 What'll it take to change their minds? 79 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,959 Nothing. Sign of the times. Branch lines for the chop all over. 80 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,480 You've gotta fight it, man! 81 00:04:41,519 --> 00:04:44,879 I just haven't got any fight left in me. 82 00:04:52,399 --> 00:04:54,720 What's all this nonsense, Katy? 83 00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:58,600 I'm trainspotting, Mr Larkin. It's actually quite intense. 84 00:04:58,639 --> 00:05:00,399 Yeah, no, the line closing. 85 00:05:00,439 --> 00:05:03,920 Oh, yes. I don't know what I'll do. 86 00:05:03,959 --> 00:05:06,199 So, how are we gonna keep it open? 87 00:05:08,519 --> 00:05:11,319 THEY CHATTER 88 00:05:19,759 --> 00:05:21,920 No, she'll be delighted I'm not there. 89 00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:23,000 She's the type of landlady 90 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,199 that counts out the baked beans for breakfast. 91 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,439 HE CHUCKLES 92 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,120 Ah, this place must be quite a shock, then. 93 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:35,000 Yeah, it is. I mean, there is so much of everything. 94 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:39,439 Well, we're the lucky ones. Garden of England. 95 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:40,839 All right? 96 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,720 Do I detect the tiniest, so, so tiniest, hint of, uh, 97 00:05:48,759 --> 00:05:51,120 of friction between you and Pauline? 98 00:05:53,079 --> 00:05:57,319 Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I, uh, I know she poured wine down your dress. 99 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,079 She treated you very "Chablis". 100 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,480 THEY LAUGH 101 00:06:03,519 --> 00:06:07,439 Ah, well, there's no hatred deeper 102 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:09,720 than one that started in love and friendship. 103 00:06:11,879 --> 00:06:14,639 Don't you dare get off with her. Huh, how could I? 104 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:17,120 She's another reason I'm going away. 105 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,000 OK, but, still, in time, that might change. 106 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,399 It's not going to change. 107 00:06:22,439 --> 00:06:24,600 OK, but it might. It won't. 108 00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:27,720 Right, fine. OK, but if it does, if it does, 109 00:06:27,759 --> 00:06:30,040 that would be, that would be fantastic. Thanks. 110 00:06:30,079 --> 00:06:31,519 SHE GIGGLES 111 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:38,720 So, how's the manual labour treating you? 112 00:06:38,759 --> 00:06:41,480 Oh, yeah, fabulously. I'm already hurt all over. 113 00:06:41,519 --> 00:06:44,160 I'll put you on weighing. Get a chair. 114 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:49,839 RADIO PLAYS 115 00:06:49,879 --> 00:06:51,160 DOOR OPENS 116 00:06:51,199 --> 00:06:53,360 Hello, kids! Hello! Hello, Mum. 117 00:06:53,399 --> 00:06:57,040 There's my little treacle tarts. That's right, you get stuck in. 118 00:06:57,079 --> 00:06:58,480 MA VACUUMS 119 00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:03,160 All right, my little cherry cakes, good day at school? 120 00:07:03,199 --> 00:07:05,040 Mm-hm. Yeah. 121 00:07:05,079 --> 00:07:07,959 Yeah. That's the way. 122 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,839 OK. 123 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,480 40... 124 00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:27,560 Poll Saunders. Two baskets. Thank you. 125 00:07:28,959 --> 00:07:32,680 Lil, duckie. How, how many? 126 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,279 Three baskets. Right, OK. 127 00:07:35,319 --> 00:07:38,199 What am I saying? I mean three an' all. 128 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,680 Are you sure? 129 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,040 You saying we're lying? No. No. 130 00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:46,759 Not out loud, anyway. 131 00:07:47,839 --> 00:07:49,639 That's where you got to. 132 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,480 Oh, yeah, well, I... I have a history of clerical work, so... 133 00:07:53,519 --> 00:07:57,000 Nice to be some people. Two baskets. 134 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,519 Thank you. Thank you. 135 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,600 I'll, er, push off, then. 136 00:08:12,639 --> 00:08:15,879 See you later, Charley. If not before. 137 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,720 Ooh, company. Boss's daughter. 138 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,480 Tart. Freeloader. 139 00:08:22,319 --> 00:08:24,240 I don't think I've ever seen you angry before. 140 00:08:24,279 --> 00:08:26,399 I pull my weight. 141 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,680 I don't like seeing you treated like meat. 142 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:48,120 Miss Chand. Always an honour. Face of an angel. 143 00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:51,759 Mr Larkin, your children were late this morning. 144 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,159 Yep. 145 00:08:55,399 --> 00:08:56,559 Oh, you want a reason? 146 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,759 Strawberry picking. Very educational. 147 00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:02,039 And on that topic, what is more educational than a train ride? 148 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,759 Almost anything. You know the branch line is shutting? 149 00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:08,000 And Katy... specs, trainspotter. Don't judge. 150 00:09:08,039 --> 00:09:10,679 She says that they're gonna do the final headcount 151 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:12,840 of passengers this very week. 152 00:09:12,879 --> 00:09:15,519 So if we pack in all the locals, we could save it. 153 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:17,759 Most of my pupils can't afford to go on jaunts. 154 00:09:17,799 --> 00:09:19,039 I'll pay for those who can't. 155 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,039 Where would they go? Ah-ha! 156 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,720 Are you not missing the tax lark? 157 00:09:26,759 --> 00:09:28,679 Well, it is important work, of course. 158 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,600 Is it, darling? 159 00:09:30,639 --> 00:09:34,960 Anyway, anyway... I have had the best time down here, Ma. 160 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,919 You've all been so friendly. 161 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,720 Oh, you should stay on. Intelligent bloke like you. 162 00:09:40,759 --> 00:09:43,879 You could be a big boon hereabouts. A big, big boon. 163 00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:47,879 Thank you. To be honest, I am racked with indecision. 164 00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:52,759 My whole life, all I've tried to do is, is contribute to society. 165 00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:55,440 You've come to the right place. Plenty of society down here. 166 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,399 Wrapped up in nice scenery. 167 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,360 No, I know. But I do feel I need a slightly better... 168 00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:03,200 PIG GRUNTS ..reason to stay! 169 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,360 Oh, Ma, what...? 170 00:10:05,399 --> 00:10:06,480 HE STRAINS 171 00:10:06,519 --> 00:10:09,039 SHE GIGGLES 172 00:10:19,399 --> 00:10:21,120 CROWD CHATTING 173 00:10:23,879 --> 00:10:26,919 Hello. Use the stairs. 174 00:10:28,039 --> 00:10:30,559 BELL DINGS Morning, kids. 175 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,480 Children, line up. Don't swarm. 176 00:10:33,519 --> 00:10:34,559 Miss Chand? 177 00:10:35,799 --> 00:10:39,120 See? Folks just need reminding that a train goes through the village. 178 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,480 Enjoy the journey. 179 00:10:40,519 --> 00:10:42,000 BELL DINGS Get yourself a ticket. 180 00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:43,799 Lovely to see you all. Ah, Tom-Tom. 181 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,240 Come on, spill the whatsits on your new venture. 182 00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,679 Well, it's not really a whatsit-spilling situation. 183 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,679 I'm just turning an abandoned pile into a friendly little hotel. 184 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,480 Well, good for you. The village is agog. 185 00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,279 And thanks for helping to keep the line open. 186 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,519 Well, a modern economy needs 187 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:58,399 a comprehensive transport infrastructure. 188 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,200 And THAT is one of my catchphrases. 189 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:01,720 HE CHUCKLES How's the family? 190 00:11:01,759 --> 00:11:04,799 In the flippin' pink. And is Mariette here? 191 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,000 No. You still wanna buy a ticket? 192 00:11:07,039 --> 00:11:09,279 Er, of course I do. POP LAUGHS 193 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,200 That's it, Tom. Thank you. BELL DINGS 194 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,159 Thank you. Oh, no! 195 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,240 It's not a war on again? 196 00:11:14,279 --> 00:11:17,039 Ha! No, I'm meeting up with some old army pals. 197 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,320 Well, good for you, anyway. Yeah. 198 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,000 Er, General, please. Stand easy. 199 00:11:21,039 --> 00:11:23,279 Keep the home fires burning. Ha-ha! 200 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,480 Thank you, sir. You're welcome. You're welcome. 201 00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:27,080 So exciting, Mr Larkin. 202 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,279 I've never seen so many passengers. Right. 203 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:31,759 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS Hush. A train! 204 00:11:31,799 --> 00:11:34,720 I think it's a Class 5 BR1B Tender. 205 00:11:34,759 --> 00:11:37,279 Ah, very good. That'll take care of the stragglers. 206 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,600 Come on, ladies and gentlemen! Kids, let's be having you. 207 00:11:39,639 --> 00:11:41,360 Come on! It's a Class 5 BR1B... 208 00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:44,399 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ..Tender! 209 00:11:48,279 --> 00:11:51,000 Morning. Miss Pilchester. 210 00:11:51,039 --> 00:11:53,039 How are you? Very well. 211 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:58,080 SHE SIGHS 212 00:11:58,120 --> 00:11:59,480 Ah... 213 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,360 It's like Sodom and Gomorrah with strawberries! 214 00:12:08,399 --> 00:12:11,360 Poll - you missed one! AUNT FAN CACKLES 215 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,120 So... no-one strips off at the tax office, then? 216 00:12:22,159 --> 00:12:23,679 No! No. 217 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,879 We have a rigidly enforced dress code. 218 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,440 SHE CHUCKLES 219 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,720 In fact, everything is rigidly enforced. 220 00:12:29,759 --> 00:12:30,840 Apart from enjoyment. 221 00:12:32,159 --> 00:12:34,279 Whoa! That'll take some selling. 222 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,600 If you're not careful, we'll be boiling up a lot of jam. 223 00:12:38,639 --> 00:12:42,960 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 224 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,039 Everyone all right? 225 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:50,679 That's the Allied Victory Medal... that's the 1914-15 Star. 226 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,519 Mm. What's that one? 227 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:55,480 Oh, that's actually for swimming, but it's a lovely blue. 228 00:12:55,519 --> 00:12:58,399 All right, everyone? Miss Chand. Lovely to see you. 229 00:13:01,399 --> 00:13:04,039 Nice bit of company for a change, Alec? 230 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,000 I preferred it when it was just me and Mr Garnish. 231 00:13:06,039 --> 00:13:07,200 What the hell?! 232 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:10,240 Mr Garnish doesn't like the smells these children are making. 233 00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:11,600 Or not that often. 234 00:13:11,639 --> 00:13:13,240 We're trying to save your commuter line. 235 00:13:13,279 --> 00:13:14,480 You should be thanking us all. 236 00:13:14,519 --> 00:13:16,440 No, I'm not going to do that, cos I hate you all. 237 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:19,519 Dad? We're starving. Me too. 238 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:23,200 Me too. Absolutely ghastly hunger, Mr Larkin. Do feel my ribs. 239 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,399 Wasn't there a refreshment trolley on the train? 240 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,799 They stopped it. No! 241 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,559 Oh! Come on, then. 242 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,320 Come on, everyone. That's it. TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 243 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:50,039 So, where is the place of "educational interest" you promised? 244 00:13:54,039 --> 00:13:55,360 All right, Frank? 245 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,720 If you run, I will personally make sure you never run again! 246 00:14:03,879 --> 00:14:05,440 MUSIC: 'In The Mood' by Glenn Miller 247 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,240 SHE HUMS ALONG 248 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:09,720 PHONE RINGS 249 00:14:14,759 --> 00:14:16,159 Yep? 250 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,440 CHILDREN PLAYING, COINS DISPENSING 251 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,000 It's me, you gorgeous lump o' woman. SHE LAUGHS 252 00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:23,480 What's up, you big farmy lunatic? 253 00:14:23,519 --> 00:14:25,039 Load the truck up with strawberries 254 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,639 and get Mariette to bring it over to Forch Station. 255 00:14:27,679 --> 00:14:30,000 Quick-like, otherwise the train'll be gone. 256 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,639 MISS CHAND: Very good. Come on, children. Hurry up. 257 00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:39,919 Orderly fashion onto the train. Come on. 258 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,399 Cracking. WHISTLE BLOWS 259 00:14:46,399 --> 00:14:47,600 Come on... 260 00:14:47,639 --> 00:14:49,399 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 261 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,320 Hello, me old mate. I think there's something under your wheel. 262 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,480 Have a look, here. 263 00:14:54,519 --> 00:14:56,679 I mean, a nice, full train an' all, you know... 264 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,159 Shame to spoil the mood. No, can't see nothing. 265 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,559 Maybe it's someone's favourite pet. HE GRUNTS 266 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:02,840 You know? 267 00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:08,960 Don't worry. 268 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,879 I think that's a shadow. Er, thank you. 269 00:15:12,919 --> 00:15:15,039 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 270 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,159 Any chance of a lift? 271 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,360 Well, this is an unexpected pleasure. 272 00:15:21,399 --> 00:15:23,240 Well, it's nice to sell folks something they want 273 00:15:23,279 --> 00:15:24,320 that we've got lots of. 274 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,480 You know I mean being with you. 275 00:15:26,519 --> 00:15:28,200 Still planning on leaving the village? 276 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,039 Yep, in a month or two. 277 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:33,200 Chance to learn le bon Francais! Sounds good, eh? 278 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,360 Et ca va comment? Tu parles comme une indigene deja? 279 00:15:36,399 --> 00:15:38,679 I'm so tempted to crash this and kill you. 280 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,679 Well, if you spare me and I have a future, it's here. 281 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,440 How can I make you feel the same? Ugh! 282 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,960 Don't you start. It's a hard enough place to leave as it is, 283 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,840 as my friend Charley's finding out. 284 00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:52,039 The tax man? Mm-hm. 285 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,120 What kind of "friend" is he? Oh, the best kind. 286 00:15:55,159 --> 00:15:57,960 He doesn't bombard me with questions, like you. 287 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,879 It's time we went on another date. Oh, a date, was it? 288 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,759 Well, maybe one that doesn't end with you scrapping with a waitress. 289 00:16:03,799 --> 00:16:05,399 With you watching! And smirking. 290 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,240 Well, if there's one thing that we men like - 291 00:16:07,279 --> 00:16:11,480 and this is scientifically proven - it's watching pretty girls wrestle. 292 00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:20,200 Wanna meet up later? 293 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:24,000 Oh. Er... thank you, but I... I need to be home. 294 00:16:24,039 --> 00:16:26,240 SHE SIGHS Don't wait for Mariette. 295 00:16:26,279 --> 00:16:28,799 She's off. And she's not the one for you. 296 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:32,600 Why... do you say that? She's hard work. 297 00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:34,759 I'm a delight. 298 00:16:36,039 --> 00:16:38,480 HE EXHALES SHARPLY I like you. 299 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:39,799 You're... kind. 300 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,879 I don't go for that normally, but I'm ready. 301 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,279 And one for you. Would you like a punnet, sir? 302 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,839 Just one, please. Here we go. That's sixpence, please. 303 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,039 There you go. Sir, madam. Two? Do you want one or two? 304 00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:09,680 Just the one? OK. You can trifle with her later. 305 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:10,839 THEY LAUGH 306 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,359 Ah, Miss Chand! 307 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,960 Now, strawberries... This is for you. 308 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,839 COINS CLATTER, HE SIGHS 309 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:19,799 DIAL TONE 310 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,839 Afternoon! Er, afternoon, sir. It's Char... 311 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,119 Cedric Charlton. 312 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:33,240 Right, I... I apologise for being off for so long, but... 313 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,759 ..well, ever since you've sent me down here 314 00:17:36,799 --> 00:17:41,519 to investigate the Larkins, my life has just changed exponen... 315 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,880 Are... Are you there, Mr Potts? 316 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,880 I'm waiting for you to say something intelligible. 317 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:54,359 Right. I'm staying down here, and I have holiday to take, 318 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:58,039 so... I am resigning with immediate effect. 319 00:17:58,079 --> 00:18:02,839 Because I have learned that life and love are precious. 320 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,000 'Have you lost your mind, Charlton?' 321 00:18:05,039 --> 00:18:07,279 Tax collection is a solemn undertaking, 322 00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:10,039 and you will regret spouting beatnik baloney at me, 323 00:18:10,079 --> 00:18:12,799 because, in the end, you just need to grow up... 324 00:18:12,839 --> 00:18:14,599 HE SIGHS 325 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,440 INDISTINCT OVER TELEPHONE 326 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:24,279 HE SIGHS 327 00:18:24,319 --> 00:18:27,160 ..grow up, and there will be 328 00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:31,160 a significantly impaired pension provision. 329 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,319 Thank you. 330 00:18:33,359 --> 00:18:34,480 SIGHING: Ah! 331 00:18:41,839 --> 00:18:43,039 HE SIGHS 332 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,759 Whoa. Let me help you with that. 333 00:18:49,319 --> 00:18:52,359 Shouldn't you be... choosing lino for your hotel? 334 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,920 Yes, but it's important not to neglect the physical. 335 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,039 HE GRUNTS 336 00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:07,680 Good, that all seems to be... in order. 337 00:19:13,559 --> 00:19:17,079 LAUGHING: No! No! It's just... It's just a... 338 00:19:19,279 --> 00:19:21,079 CHUCKLING: Yes... Go away! 339 00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:35,319 TV: 'Young louts. Are you all right?' 340 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,319 'Yes. Let's get on.' 341 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:38,759 Shouldn't we just watch one? 342 00:19:38,799 --> 00:19:41,240 Well, we've got two. Might as well use 'em! 343 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,799 Anyone seen Charley? We thought he was with you. 344 00:19:49,839 --> 00:19:52,200 No, I was just chatting with Tom. For three hours?! 345 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,400 Mm... He's so smooth. 346 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,680 Makes a nice change from rough. 347 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,599 Too many lads in this village think farting 348 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,160 is the last word in entertainment. 349 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,359 So... where is our Charley? 350 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,839 HE SMACKS HIS LIPS, HE SIGHS 351 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,920 SHE GULPS, GLASS THUNKS 352 00:20:16,599 --> 00:20:18,519 You know your problem? Yes. 353 00:20:19,839 --> 00:20:23,079 Oh, yes. You're flesh and blood, like me. 354 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:27,640 But you're fighting it. Well, it's true. 355 00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:32,799 I have never felt so much... sap rising as down here. 356 00:20:34,839 --> 00:20:36,799 Er, down here in the countryside. 357 00:20:36,839 --> 00:20:38,720 Oh... Got it. 358 00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:43,400 Mm, the tax office, my, er, erstwhile employer, 359 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,599 was entirely free of... sap. 360 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,680 You've been corking it up since you arrived. 361 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,880 I want to get your cork out. 362 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:59,720 Well, you can't, because I am saving myself for Mariette Larkin. 363 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,440 But she's not saving herself for you. 364 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,720 I know. Can't be right, can it? 365 00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:11,319 What? Er... LIQUID SLOSHES 366 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,519 Oh... Fancy another? 367 00:21:16,559 --> 00:21:20,400 Question is... who'll best make Mariette stay? 368 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:21,720 Charley or Tom? 369 00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:27,119 Well... that all depends whether Charley's planted his veg 370 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,880 in another furrow. 371 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,119 Charley's better for her. 372 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,039 But Tom's the pretty one. 373 00:21:34,079 --> 00:21:37,079 And he knows how to behave with women. 374 00:21:37,119 --> 00:21:38,880 Ma, we've got to stay out of it. 375 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,079 She knows we love her and we don't want her leaving. 376 00:21:43,559 --> 00:21:47,599 That is why you are after saving our railway! 377 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,400 You can't stop your daughter doing what she wants, 378 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,000 but this is something that you can do something about. 379 00:21:53,039 --> 00:21:55,160 HE HUFFS 380 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,240 Oh... 381 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,200 Mariette is used to fending off lads, but... 382 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,720 ..she's not so good at letting someone into her heart. Mm. 383 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,480 Charley's the man. 384 00:22:12,799 --> 00:22:15,240 Mariette just needs to fall in love with him. 385 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:27,960 Oh! 386 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:31,720 Ah... 387 00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:34,599 Argh! Argh... 388 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,920 KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS 389 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:46,359 Charley was drinking with Pauline last night. 390 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:49,599 They were standing all close, and she kissed him! 391 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,039 Postal Pete got it from Old Reg. 392 00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:53,799 Well... you can't blame Charley. 393 00:22:53,839 --> 00:22:57,079 No surprise she's in there like a dog on a side of beef. 394 00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,079 Don't take this lying down! What are you gonna do? 395 00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:02,240 Nothing. It's simpler this way. 396 00:23:02,279 --> 00:23:04,720 I just hope he realises that she'll toss him away. 397 00:23:04,759 --> 00:23:06,680 But you can tell he loves you. 398 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,319 Well, he hasn't told me. Because you said you're leaving! 399 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,680 Ugh, this is so sad. 400 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,519 Love can be. 401 00:23:13,559 --> 00:23:16,559 And you've had your taste of that. Mm... 402 00:23:16,599 --> 00:23:18,480 We can't all be as lucky as Pop and Ma. 403 00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:21,000 Both in love from the off. 404 00:23:21,039 --> 00:23:23,160 WHISPERS: Effortless. 405 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:27,000 Look, Charley's... special. 406 00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:28,319 PRIMROSE CHUCKLES 407 00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,039 I mean, sometimes, it's like talking to an owl. 408 00:23:31,079 --> 00:23:33,079 But you've gotta love him. I know! 409 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,799 And... Tom? Ugh! He's so handsome. 410 00:23:37,839 --> 00:23:40,000 Mm... When he took his shirt off, 411 00:23:40,039 --> 00:23:42,680 I half hoped a great big beer gut would tumble out. 412 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:44,200 Maybe he was holding it in, like Pop. 413 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:47,640 Very much not. And I'm still leaving. 414 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,000 No! How can you? 415 00:23:50,039 --> 00:23:51,799 Because if two men arrive in a village 416 00:23:51,839 --> 00:23:54,640 are that interesting, imagine what else's out there in the world. 417 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,160 Or... it doesn't get any better than them, 418 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,960 and you should stay and find out! 419 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,519 But don't choose Tom. Or Charley will go with Pauline. 420 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:07,240 BELL DINGS 421 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,079 POP: That's it, get your tickets. Ahhh! 422 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:12,079 Darlin'! Ain't I the cat what caught the proverbial? 423 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,599 You are, Ma, you are. 424 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,519 Join the queue, get yourself a ticket. 425 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,400 That's it. Enjoy the ride, everyone, won't you? 426 00:24:23,559 --> 00:24:26,000 Sir George and Lady. So glad you could come along. 427 00:24:26,039 --> 00:24:27,920 Hm. Well, we'd hate to lose our railway. 428 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,279 Yes. Love trains. Steam, that's the future. 429 00:24:30,319 --> 00:24:32,559 So, you gonna tell me why you sold your rumpty old mansion 430 00:24:32,599 --> 00:24:34,279 to Tom instead of me? 431 00:24:34,319 --> 00:24:36,680 I'm afraid that's confidential. 432 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:40,319 He said we could live on there in an outbuilding at a peppercorn rent. 433 00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,119 And do you have that in writing? 434 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,799 Yes. 435 00:24:44,839 --> 00:24:48,319 Do buy yourself a selection of on-board refreshment. 436 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:54,599 Ah, I love the steam... Ah! It's the gilded youths. 437 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,839 'Ey? And Miss Chand, of course. 438 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,839 Nice evening? Yup. 439 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,599 You? Cracking. 440 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,240 How was Pauline? Friendly. Rather like Tom. 441 00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:16,119 Yep. Yeah. So, there we are. 442 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,000 Mm. 443 00:25:18,039 --> 00:25:21,720 HE SIGHS I, er... I've resigned from my job. 444 00:25:21,759 --> 00:25:24,039 Well, so you can really enjoy Pauline's company, then. 445 00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:27,960 What?! 446 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,119 That's it. Come on. All aboard, go on aboard! 447 00:25:32,519 --> 00:25:34,160 MISS CHAND: Don't dilly-dally. 448 00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:43,640 THEY LAUGH 449 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,440 THEY LAUGH 450 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,759 And this is who we fought the war for. 451 00:25:52,799 --> 00:25:56,079 Three punnets, one-and-six. Straight from the field. 452 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:58,839 Berries fresher than my 'usband on a Saturday night, 453 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,880 and the cream was in a big, wobbly udder a couple of hours ago. 454 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:06,119 Oh, your Lords and Ladyships! Nice to see you on board. 455 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,920 Yes, I'm getting a taste for it. I love the rhythm of the track. 456 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,079 De-dun, de-duh, de-dun, de-duh, de-dun, de-duh. 457 00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,279 De-dun, de-duh, de-dun, de-duh, de-dun, de-duh... 458 00:26:15,319 --> 00:26:17,839 Yes, that's lovely, but stop. Stop now. 459 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,359 Only going halfway, Ma? 460 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,240 Yeah, I'm meeting my sister in Knockholt for a quick pie. 461 00:26:22,279 --> 00:26:24,680 Never met her. What's she like? 462 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:27,640 Well, you won't catch me speaking ill of my family, but... 463 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,480 'Ere we go. 464 00:26:29,519 --> 00:26:31,960 Well, she'd rather impress the neighbours with a new twin tub 465 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:36,480 or a Formica patio... rather than enjoy herself. 466 00:26:36,519 --> 00:26:38,839 And her husband, Howard... well, he's even worse. 467 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,319 But... SHE CHUCKLES 468 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:43,680 Well, like I say, you must take your family as you find 'em. 469 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,960 SHE LAUGHS 470 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,759 Oh. Hello, Tom! Ah! 471 00:26:48,799 --> 00:26:50,680 Mrs Larkin. Another good turn-out. 472 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,400 Yep. 473 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,400 Oh... forgive me being so formal, but Tom, erm... 474 00:26:56,519 --> 00:26:59,319 ..what are your intentions regarding Mariette? 475 00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,559 Well, you have created a woman of rare beauty and grace. 476 00:27:02,599 --> 00:27:04,799 Aw... haven't we just? 477 00:27:04,839 --> 00:27:06,960 Answer the question. 478 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:11,200 Well, I'm still getting to know her. Is she on board? 479 00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,480 Oh, Tom, you haven't got on this train 480 00:27:13,519 --> 00:27:15,000 especially for Mariette, have you? 481 00:27:15,039 --> 00:27:19,039 No. No, no, no. I'm just... 482 00:27:19,079 --> 00:27:22,440 here doing my bit to help keep the village transport links alive. 483 00:27:23,839 --> 00:27:26,519 I'm Mariette today. Ah... 484 00:27:29,759 --> 00:27:32,599 How does that feel? Er, awkward? 485 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,000 Not at all. 486 00:27:36,799 --> 00:27:38,039 Yeah... 487 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:44,960 HORN HONKS 488 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,160 Morning, trouble. Morning, Pop. 489 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:50,480 Hey, nice work, girls! How's your mum, Lil? 490 00:27:50,519 --> 00:27:53,160 Out on parole Tuesday. Yeah, bless her. 491 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,480 HE LAUGHS 492 00:27:55,519 --> 00:27:58,880 Hey! Charley boy! Hop in. 493 00:28:01,599 --> 00:28:03,039 Where are we off to? 494 00:28:03,079 --> 00:28:06,319 I'll share you some of me savvy, eh? Seeing as you're looking a bit low. 495 00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:07,880 Come on. Well... all right. 496 00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:18,119 HORN HONKS 497 00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:28,079 And don't forget, always finish the day with a cocktail. 498 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,920 And that, my son, is how to be happy. 499 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:34,799 Thank you, Pop, but... you and I are very different. 500 00:28:34,839 --> 00:28:37,640 Eh? How? We're both decent blokes. 501 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,799 Love people, enjoy a laugh. Food, drink, sun on our backs. 502 00:28:40,839 --> 00:28:42,680 Yeah, but I don't seem to have your resilience. 503 00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:46,200 Exactly! So, let's sharpen you up, shall we, eh? 504 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,839 Come on. Look like you mean business. 505 00:28:50,759 --> 00:28:52,920 POP LAUGHS OK. 506 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,319 Come on, Vern. You've had it forever. 507 00:28:54,359 --> 00:28:57,319 No-one wants it! You want it. 508 00:28:57,359 --> 00:28:59,359 Tenner. last price. 509 00:29:00,559 --> 00:29:02,880 He all right, hm? 510 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,519 Oh, yeah. 'Ard as nails. 'Arder. Mm. 511 00:29:05,559 --> 00:29:06,960 What do you reckon, Charley boy? 512 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,880 That's not worth more than nine quid. 513 00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:11,079 Done! Eh? No, hang on a minute! 514 00:29:11,119 --> 00:29:12,920 Hang on. I'll give you six. 515 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,759 No. Well, thank God for that, cos that'd be a nightmare to shift. 516 00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:19,200 All right. £4 it is. 517 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,599 And we'll need it wrapped up. You what? 518 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,440 Well, it's a present. You must have something we can wrap it in. 519 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:28,240 Course I haven't. All right. £2.10, unwrapped. 520 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:35,680 I put you on rhubarb. 521 00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:38,079 I'm not pulling rhubarb. It's not even a fruit. 522 00:29:38,119 --> 00:29:40,319 It's veg pretending. Where's Pop? 523 00:29:40,359 --> 00:29:42,799 Saving our trains. I'm in charge here. 524 00:29:42,839 --> 00:29:44,480 I'm better than rhubarb. You know that. 525 00:29:44,519 --> 00:29:46,640 Oh, sling your hook. 526 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:48,559 Oh! 527 00:29:48,599 --> 00:29:51,599 THEY GRUNT Pauline! 528 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,319 Argh! Argh! 529 00:29:54,359 --> 00:29:56,960 Pauline! Go! Let's go! 530 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,279 SPECTATORS CLAMOURING Get off me! 531 00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:01,200 SCREAMS: Pauline! 532 00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:02,680 THUD BOTH: Ooh! 533 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:06,200 SCREAMING AND CLAMOURING 534 00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,680 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sorry, excuse me. Whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop, stop! 535 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:14,559 Oh, God, there's so much blood! Stop! 536 00:30:14,599 --> 00:30:17,319 Oh, wait, no, it's strawberries. Sorry. Carry on. 537 00:30:17,359 --> 00:30:20,279 No, no, don't! Don't carry on! Stop! WOMAN: No, keep going! 538 00:30:20,319 --> 00:30:22,680 No, Mariette, no! 539 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:29,680 Ugh! MAN: Where're you going? 540 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:32,480 Wow. 541 00:30:32,519 --> 00:30:34,440 You have never looked so beautiful. 542 00:30:35,519 --> 00:30:36,799 Ta. 543 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,839 STATIC BUZZES 544 00:30:44,319 --> 00:30:46,119 Ah... Oh, Pop, Pop, Pop! 545 00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:47,599 ANNOYED: Oh! 546 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:51,160 STATIC BUZZES 547 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,720 Ah, well done, well done. There you go. 548 00:30:53,759 --> 00:30:55,279 POP CHUCKLES 549 00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,559 BELL DINGS WOMAN: Thank you. 550 00:31:05,519 --> 00:31:07,000 Foxy, nice and busy, eh? 551 00:31:07,039 --> 00:31:09,000 This must be enough people to keep the line open? 552 00:31:09,039 --> 00:31:11,200 No, it's not. What? 553 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,559 You've taken a fortune this week, and this is only the start! 554 00:31:13,599 --> 00:31:16,960 I reported our takings to my boss. He says it's still not enough. 555 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,359 Well, the company's gotta be coining it! 556 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,359 I know! I can't believe it. 557 00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:25,599 He says they're losing money, and they won't change their mind. 558 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,799 The station's shutting down next week. 559 00:31:41,799 --> 00:31:43,799 We should go on a hunger strike. 560 00:31:43,839 --> 00:31:45,160 Well, I'm not doing that. 561 00:31:46,319 --> 00:31:48,319 Let's go to your company and argue with your boss. 562 00:31:48,359 --> 00:31:49,839 Oh, don't bother. 563 00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:51,880 He's a thug, and they won't let you in. 564 00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,279 Well, there's a challenge. Coming, Katy? 565 00:31:56,319 --> 00:31:57,640 Don't go, Pop! 566 00:31:57,680 --> 00:32:00,759 He'll throw you out, and I won't get my gold watch! 567 00:32:00,799 --> 00:32:04,039 Well, if the worst happens, Foxy, I'LL give you your gold watch. 568 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,640 And I'll throw in a selection of soft fruit. 569 00:32:16,319 --> 00:32:18,599 DOOR OPENS 570 00:32:20,519 --> 00:32:23,000 Look at you! 571 00:32:23,039 --> 00:32:25,720 SHE GASPS All bloomin'. 572 00:32:25,759 --> 00:32:28,920 Oh! Do... D'you think so? 573 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,759 You've had a desk on your lap too long, 574 00:32:30,799 --> 00:32:33,079 so Pop's showing you how to wheel and deal like a tough nut. 575 00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:37,039 Yep. Yeah, he... he did. Mm-hm. 576 00:32:37,079 --> 00:32:40,359 Now... forget all that. Show Mariette your romantic side. 577 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:48,680 Oi! Where d'you think you're going? 578 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,000 Eh? You're not telling me you don't recognise this young lady? 579 00:32:52,039 --> 00:32:53,920 Trainspotter of the Year! 580 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,480 How many trains you spotted, Katy? 581 00:32:55,519 --> 00:32:58,960 Er... 4,983? There you go. That's a lot of train. 582 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,519 That is a lot. It is. 583 00:33:00,559 --> 00:33:01,880 Let's fetch your award. Come on. 584 00:33:07,799 --> 00:33:09,039 Right. 585 00:33:09,079 --> 00:33:11,200 Now, listen, Mr, erm... What was it? 586 00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:12,480 WHISPERS: Neal. What, kneel? 587 00:33:12,519 --> 00:33:13,759 Mr Neal. Oh, Neal. 588 00:33:13,799 --> 00:33:17,240 Mr Neal. Pop Larkin, Miss Farley. And we're from Littlechurch, 589 00:33:17,279 --> 00:33:20,119 and shame on you for wanting to close down our branch line. 590 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:23,079 I don't want to. I hate doing it. 591 00:33:23,119 --> 00:33:24,759 So don't. 592 00:33:24,799 --> 00:33:26,319 People aren't using the line enough. 593 00:33:26,359 --> 00:33:28,480 But they will. I'll make them. 594 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,119 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS Tiny trains. 595 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,319 An EM gauge Finescale Standard. 596 00:33:49,359 --> 00:33:52,920 How lovely... to find a lady who sees the magic 597 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,119 in these perfect little worlds. 598 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:59,440 I know. It's an escape, but to something beautiful and calm. 599 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,319 If only your village shared your love of trains. 600 00:34:03,599 --> 00:34:06,920 Next to no revenue for years. Might I have a look at the figures? 601 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:12,599 TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS 602 00:34:18,079 --> 00:34:19,599 It is a mystery. 603 00:34:19,639 --> 00:34:24,119 Why go by car when you can travel on one of these? 604 00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:27,679 There's more room in a car. 605 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:29,400 These figures aren't right. 606 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,920 You should be getting five times this amount. 607 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,760 Well, last week, we took hundreds. Well, what does that say? 608 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,119 Twelve pounds four and thruppence. 609 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,599 HORSE WHINNIES SOFTLY 610 00:34:49,519 --> 00:34:52,840 Oh, no. You caught me. 611 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,000 Well, I don't mind appreciation. 612 00:34:55,039 --> 00:34:58,519 Look, I don't know if you do this sort of thing, 613 00:34:58,559 --> 00:35:00,800 but any chance for a riding lesson? 614 00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,760 What, now? If you're free. 615 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,880 I'll pay you, obviously. 616 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,760 And, if I fall off and die, I promise I won't tell anyone. 617 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:07,920 Thanks. 618 00:35:09,039 --> 00:35:12,000 So, how good a rider are you? 619 00:35:12,039 --> 00:35:13,760 Pff... 620 00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:25,679 You... lying... pig. 621 00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,800 I'm as surprised as you are. SHE TUTS 622 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:30,480 You'd really run away from all this? 623 00:35:30,519 --> 00:35:33,440 SHE SIGHS Don't do it. 624 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,360 The good, like this, will stay the same, 625 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,039 but other things are gonna happen here. 626 00:35:38,599 --> 00:35:39,760 What "things"? 627 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:44,000 Well, who knows? New people, new life. 628 00:35:44,039 --> 00:35:47,320 I can smell a change, and change is good. 629 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,360 Hello, Pop! 630 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:59,320 I bet you've been dreading this day, haven't you, Foxy, eh? 631 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:01,559 How long you been doing it? What're you talking about? 632 00:36:01,599 --> 00:36:04,039 Now, this can go either two ways, Foxy. 633 00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:07,119 You deny it all and we work out how much exactly you've nicked 634 00:36:07,159 --> 00:36:09,480 from the railway company and you go to prison, 635 00:36:09,519 --> 00:36:11,960 or you admit to filching over all these years, 636 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:13,760 repay what you can, 637 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,239 they leave you be and we may get to keep our trains. 638 00:36:18,519 --> 00:36:19,880 I've never liked you. 639 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,559 Shut up, Foxy. You can't prove anything. 640 00:36:22,599 --> 00:36:24,920 I'll retire here, the line will close, 641 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,639 and there won't be any trains or that mindless hooting 642 00:36:27,679 --> 00:36:29,159 to ruin my peace. 643 00:36:29,199 --> 00:36:31,800 True, except the big cheese we met at the railway 644 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,679 said that he'll just sell it. 645 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:36,920 And you'll end up living perched on the edge of an A road. 646 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:38,920 Oh, well. 647 00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,079 As you suggest, I've lifted a lot of cash over the years. 648 00:36:42,119 --> 00:36:44,719 I'll be fine. But thanks for alerting me. 649 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:46,920 I'm going in now to burn some paperwork. 650 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,480 Before you go... 651 00:36:48,519 --> 00:36:51,159 Did you get that, PC Harness? Get what? 652 00:36:51,199 --> 00:36:53,400 His confession. Oh, yes. 653 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,760 Yeah, I did. Yeah. Good. 654 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,920 Come on, Pop. 655 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,639 I mean, I didn't take much till the last few years, 656 00:37:00,679 --> 00:37:02,440 with my retirement coming up. 657 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,000 Oh, that is so... Where's my hankie? 658 00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:07,440 I mean, you poor, greedy old git. 659 00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:08,599 Take him away. 660 00:37:23,639 --> 00:37:26,119 Hello. Er, hello, hi. 661 00:37:29,519 --> 00:37:31,199 Yep... still good. 662 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,320 Wanna climb on? Slide in behind? 663 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,599 Go for a quick... tootle? 664 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:42,440 Shall I go on? 665 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,920 Yeah, thank you, but I... I should, er... I should go. 666 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,960 I'm not put off that easy. 667 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,519 Pauline! Pauline, you are, erm... 668 00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:54,079 Well, you're a, er... 669 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:58,000 I can't actually think of a posh word for it. 670 00:37:58,039 --> 00:37:59,239 Erm... But it's good! 671 00:38:00,639 --> 00:38:01,920 But... 672 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,679 I... HE SIGHS 673 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:04,960 I love another. 674 00:38:06,519 --> 00:38:09,840 She tried to shame me. Like she always has. 675 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,000 And I can't let that go. Ever. 676 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:20,880 I love another. 677 00:38:23,199 --> 00:38:24,760 And she's going to love me. 678 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:29,519 Oh! MA: Whoa! 679 00:38:29,559 --> 00:38:31,360 Pfff! Champion. 680 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,119 Ha-ha! There you go. 681 00:38:33,159 --> 00:38:34,840 Here's to the railway. Cheers! 682 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,159 SHE CHUCKLES All right. 683 00:38:36,199 --> 00:38:37,800 WHISTLE BLOWS Woo-woo! 684 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,559 SHE IMITATES TRAIN CHUGGING 685 00:38:40,599 --> 00:38:41,880 All aboard! SHE LAUGHS 686 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,079 Come on, girl. Oh! Oh, Pop... 687 00:38:44,119 --> 00:38:46,280 Oi! What's that? A tender behind? 688 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:47,679 SHE LAUGHS Not 'alf. 689 00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:49,119 THEY MOAN 690 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,679 Oi, oi! Now, there's a misspent youth. 691 00:38:52,719 --> 00:38:54,840 Oh! How's Tom? 692 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,159 He rides as well as me, the big fraud. 693 00:38:57,199 --> 00:39:00,079 Ah, well, he will have practising on the sly just to impress you. 694 00:39:00,119 --> 00:39:02,039 Pop was the same when we were courting. Yep. 695 00:39:02,079 --> 00:39:04,239 Bird impressions. Worked a "tweet". 696 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,639 Tom just told me to stay cos "change is coming to the village". 697 00:39:07,679 --> 00:39:09,840 It's like he's giving me a nod and a wink. 698 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,000 PETUNIA: Can I have a go? Yeah, go on, then. 699 00:39:13,039 --> 00:39:14,559 Ah, look and learn. Here, 'ey. 700 00:39:14,599 --> 00:39:17,000 Watch this, Pop. Watch this. Go on, then. 701 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,039 Do you know what? It's glorious out, Ma. 702 00:39:22,079 --> 00:39:24,559 Fancy a stroll? Yeah. Why not, Pop? 703 00:39:24,599 --> 00:39:26,320 As long as there's no funny business. 704 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:29,000 No, not at... IMITATES TRAIN CHUGGING 705 00:39:39,119 --> 00:39:40,320 Oh! Oh! Er... 706 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,519 Hello. Sorry, I-I didn't mean to shock you. 707 00:39:42,559 --> 00:39:43,639 Oh. 708 00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:46,280 Ah... 709 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:47,800 Hmm... 710 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:51,280 Ooh... Your family have been trying to wise me up and, er, 711 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,280 you know, knock off some of my absurdities. 712 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,039 Oh, you don't need to learn from them. 713 00:39:55,079 --> 00:39:56,239 THEY CHUCKLE 714 00:39:58,599 --> 00:40:02,280 Right, Mariette... I can do things here. 715 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,079 Right? I have got skills. I-I am ambitious, 716 00:40:05,119 --> 00:40:07,280 and... and I am really good with money. 717 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:08,800 I mean, yeah, not like Pop is, but... 718 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,480 I know. You don't need to persuade me. 719 00:40:10,519 --> 00:40:13,679 And... And your Ma and Primrose have already worked on 720 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:15,480 my emotional honesty, so, Mariette... 721 00:40:15,519 --> 00:40:18,159 We're thinking of adding clover to this meadow. What do you think? 722 00:40:18,199 --> 00:40:21,119 Oh, er, I... I don't... No, no, I... 723 00:40:21,159 --> 00:40:23,480 No, Mariette, if I... It attracts bees. 724 00:40:23,519 --> 00:40:24,800 Bees are good. 725 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:26,159 Uh-huh? 726 00:40:26,199 --> 00:40:29,159 Yes, right, and, on the subject of attraction... 727 00:40:29,199 --> 00:40:33,119 OK, so, Mariette, have you ever wanted to... 728 00:40:33,159 --> 00:40:36,079 like, not... not in a bee way, but just... 729 00:40:36,119 --> 00:40:38,280 Actually, can we just forget about bees for a minute? 730 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,599 HE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY But have you ever wanted to... 731 00:40:41,639 --> 00:40:44,039 to honour beauty, 732 00:40:44,079 --> 00:40:45,639 but just... 733 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:48,360 ..not known how to, 734 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:51,840 except for some... some just... 735 00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,119 HE SIGHS 736 00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:55,440 ..woefully inadequate...? God, I mean... 737 00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,800 Ooh! Actually... Don't... Don't... Don't get up. 738 00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,000 No, but I just... Let's just sit here. 739 00:41:00,039 --> 00:41:02,480 And... do nothing. 740 00:41:05,559 --> 00:41:07,000 Just enjoy... 741 00:41:08,039 --> 00:41:10,440 SHE SIGHS ..being. 742 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,719 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, God. Shut up. Shut up. Sorry. 743 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:17,880 Ha... Ooh! 744 00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:19,079 God... 745 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:23,840 Sorry. 746 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:26,480 Ooh... 747 00:41:28,639 --> 00:41:29,840 Bzzz. 748 00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:31,599 THEY LAUGH 749 00:41:36,079 --> 00:41:37,480 SHE EXHALES DEEPLY 750 00:41:43,639 --> 00:41:45,480 SHE GIGGLES 751 00:41:45,519 --> 00:41:48,239 THAT was a good one. It was. 752 00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,800 Nothin' wrong with that one, girl. SHE LAUGHS 753 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,360 Mmmmwah! Mm... 754 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:54,639 Hey, hey, look! 755 00:41:54,679 --> 00:41:57,039 HE WHISTLES 756 00:41:57,079 --> 00:42:00,039 That's gotta be a good sign, hasn't it? 757 00:42:00,079 --> 00:42:04,079 CROWD CHATTERING 758 00:42:07,519 --> 00:42:09,239 Yes, of course! Yes. 759 00:42:11,159 --> 00:42:13,440 Hello, how are you? Hello. 760 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:15,280 Are you well? Very good. Terrible... 761 00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,239 Excuse me. 762 00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:19,960 The most important thing to remember, so - 763 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,159 the semaphore's signalling system is horizontal red 764 00:42:22,199 --> 00:42:23,760 with a white line for an immediate stop. 765 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,360 The preparatory distance signal is yellow with a black chevron. 766 00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:31,840 They're not always interested. 767 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,840 They're not, are they? 768 00:42:38,199 --> 00:42:41,639 So, obviously, we will be taking the train the whole time now. 769 00:42:41,679 --> 00:42:43,440 To Margate and all over! 770 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,599 Or the car. 771 00:42:45,639 --> 00:42:48,119 Yeah, by car, mainly. Well, it's easier. 772 00:42:48,159 --> 00:42:49,760 It is easier. HE CHUCKLES 773 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:51,519 You're all looking very smart! 774 00:42:51,559 --> 00:42:53,800 Thank you, Charley. It's a party, innit? 775 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,480 MARIETTE AND BRIGADIER LAUGH 776 00:42:55,519 --> 00:42:58,159 Pretty and funny. Doesn't seem fair! 777 00:42:58,199 --> 00:42:59,920 No... SHE LAUGHS 778 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:03,599 Are you allowed to be here? 779 00:43:03,639 --> 00:43:06,960 I don't recall you helping save the trains. 780 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,000 Yeah, that's because, unlike you, I was... 781 00:43:10,039 --> 00:43:11,280 busy with strawberries. 782 00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:14,079 What? 783 00:43:14,119 --> 00:43:16,840 You gonna whack him? No, Victoria. 784 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:19,039 I just wish that people saw what I see. 785 00:43:19,079 --> 00:43:21,880 Tom is just out for himself, and he shouldn't be trusted. 786 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,360 Mate... you're jealous. 787 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:26,679 Hmm... Mate... 788 00:43:26,719 --> 00:43:29,079 those two assessments are not mutually exclusive. 789 00:43:29,119 --> 00:43:32,880 Excuse me - we should circulate. 790 00:43:32,920 --> 00:43:35,039 They grow up so fast. 791 00:43:35,079 --> 00:43:36,880 THEY LAUGH 792 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,280 I respectfully suggest that we are a match made in heaven. 793 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,800 How many girls have you said that to? 794 00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:44,320 Just you. 795 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:47,519 There you go. 796 00:43:47,559 --> 00:43:52,679 Thanks to our great success today, now, we are back on track. 797 00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:56,639 So, wet your whistles and "choo-choo" the refreshments! 798 00:43:56,679 --> 00:43:57,880 LAUGHTER 799 00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:02,760 Whilst I use this platform to conduct our thanks to Pop Larkin! 800 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:04,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 801 00:44:04,039 --> 00:44:07,480 Who, if I may express myself as an old buffer, 802 00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:09,639 is first class and just the ticket. 803 00:44:09,679 --> 00:44:11,039 LAUGHTER 804 00:44:11,079 --> 00:44:15,280 So, it's my departure time now, before you all "aboard"! 805 00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:16,800 LAUGHTER 806 00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:19,119 APPLAUSE That's my favourite bit. 807 00:44:19,159 --> 00:44:21,320 THEY LAUGH 808 00:44:39,519 --> 00:44:41,519 Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com 59892

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