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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,639 --> 00:00:14,639 -[gasps] -Ay! 2 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,973 -[breathing heavily] -Oh! 3 00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,388 Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. 4 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,725 [shushing] 5 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:20,981 You were just having a nightmare. 6 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,820 You are not at war. 7 00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:26,185 You are home. 8 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,782 You are safe. 9 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:32,163 Everything is okay. 10 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:33,330 -Okay? -Okay. 11 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:39,161 Except, I'm 38 years old sleeping with my mom. 12 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,500 And what is wrong with that? 13 00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:45,461 Are you wearing makeup? 14 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:49,798 Of course! 15 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,513 What if I got up in the middle of the night 16 00:00:51,594 --> 00:00:53,434 and I ran into someone? 17 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,929 Like you might barge in on Julio Iglesias in the bathroom? 18 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,349 You don't know where Julio spends his time. 19 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,521 And I need to look nice in case I die in my sleep. 20 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:09,609 Ay, Mami, don't say that. 21 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:10,855 No, mija, 22 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,953 if I do die, and I'm not saying I will... 23 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,502 make sure that they do a good job on my face for the funeral 24 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,499 and bring a little red lipstick along. 25 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,331 I know. You've been telling me since I was five. 26 00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:26,035 -Don't let them make me up like a puta! -...them make me up like a puta! 27 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:30,758 [both] And my shade is Scarlet Sunrise. 28 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,846 Okay, I'm gonna go make breakfast. 29 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:55,822 [breathes heavily] 30 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,120 This is a good thing. 31 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,787 Don't give me that look, bitch. 32 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,840 [theme song playing] 33 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,380 -[toilet flushing] -[knocking] 34 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:57,928 That's two. 35 00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,221 [toilet flushes] 36 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,684 That's three! 37 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,179 [toilet flushing] 38 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:07,351 Oh, my God, five? What's going on in there? 39 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,977 The first one was for pee. And the last four were to piss you off. 40 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,527 [scoffs] 41 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,450 So you're basically murdering the planet just to spite me. 42 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,239 Yeah, and it worked. 43 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,202 Ay, it's impossible to be Zen in this house. 44 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:26,036 You know, it's bad enough that you take 40-minute showers. 45 00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,833 I have to use water to get ready. 46 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,326 Every time I show up at school, 47 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,377 there are all these eyes expecting perfection. 48 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:35,843 And you give it to them, papito. [laughs] 49 00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:37,094 Easy. 50 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:38,385 It's setting. 51 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:45,312 Mija, why are you in your uniform before you shower and get ready? 52 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,436 I am ready, Abuelita. 53 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:51,857 That's what I was afraid of. 54 00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,440 Okay, everybody. Let's go. I can't be late. 55 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,607 We're having one of our staff meetings at work. 56 00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:59,105 Aren't there only four of you? 57 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,617 And yet, we take attendance. 58 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,830 But I've actually got some good stuff to talk about today, 59 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,161 so hopefully I can get through it 60 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,535 without being interrupted by Scott, the freakin' bobo. 61 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:11,668 You know, I know bobo is an insult, but it sounds adorable. 62 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,922 -Like he's a little clown. -Oh, yes, he is a clown. 63 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,255 And like every other clown, I want to punch him in the face. 64 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,586 But I'm a professional. 65 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:23,466 So when he starts pulling his crap, I am gonna smile, I'm gonna nod... 66 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,431 but inside, I'm gonna be like... 67 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,135 [laughs] Don't worry, I got this. 68 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,437 I spent all week preparing this badass spreadsheet 69 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,271 and I'm gonna make it rain informative data. 70 00:04:34,858 --> 00:04:37,488 Ooh, I have a lot going on today, too. 71 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:41,109 They're implementing my composting initiative in the cafeteria. 72 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:45,371 I wish I could make you this excited about a comb. 73 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,368 Our school's waste stream will really shrink 74 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,377 if we let the food decompose naturally. 75 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:57,379 And once I'm able to introduce worms... triple the excretions. 76 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,302 You have weird goals. 77 00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:04,392 Hey! No, she doesn't. 78 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,352 [whispers] Yes, she does, right? 79 00:05:09,101 --> 00:05:10,641 Okay! 80 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:14,017 Staff meeting, everybody. Staff meeting. 81 00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:15,982 [grunts] 82 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,240 First things first. 83 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:20,698 -Lori. -Here. 84 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,816 Okay. 85 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:23,986 Penelope. 86 00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:25,584 Here. We're all here. There's four of us. 87 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:27,954 Halfway there. 88 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,909 -Scott. -[clicks tongue] 89 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:30,997 [sniffles] 90 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:32,881 Dr. Berkowitz. 91 00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,996 -Okay, any new business? -Yes! 92 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:40,087 Turns out, I've been wearing the wrong bra size. 93 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,803 My whole life! 94 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,721 Great. That's... that's... that's great. 95 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,101 Anything about the office? 96 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,484 Yes, yes. 97 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,190 Here's some information I think you'll all find interesting, 98 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,362 dare I say, badass. [chuckles] 99 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,610 Lately, we've been getting some complaints from patients about wait times. 100 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:01,653 Oh, that's not good. 101 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,986 Well, if we stagger our appointments by just five minutes, 102 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,372 we could decrease wait time, 103 00:06:05,448 --> 00:06:07,948 while still maintaining an excellent level of patient-doctor-- 104 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,495 Actually, it sounds like the patients won't get the same amount of time 105 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,038 with Dr. B that they've come to expect. 106 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,831 [chuckles] 107 00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:21,207 Well, they'd have more time with him, if, if-- 108 00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:23,468 Actually, in today's medical industry, 109 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,510 it's important we don't sacrifice human interaction 110 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,143 just for the sake of expediency. 111 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:28,811 Actually... 112 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,846 Scott, I've been involved in today's medical industry even longer than you-- 113 00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:35,596 And it's easy to get burned out? I get it. 114 00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:36,727 [Dr. Berkowitz grunts] 115 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:40,823 Boy, such great contributions today. 116 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,990 [chuckling] Aw, thank you. 117 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,494 All I'm saying is, there's a reason 118 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,782 this guy's been running the office this way for so long. 119 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,655 Right, Berkules? 120 00:06:49,742 --> 00:06:51,952 [both laugh] 121 00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,207 I like that, yeah. 122 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:59,787 And I must say, I'm very attracted to the concept of nothing changing. 123 00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:02,627 -Okay, but there is a-- -Great! Status quo it is. 124 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,304 All right, meeting adjourned. Thank you, everybody. 125 00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,474 If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right, Doc? 126 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,352 Oh. 127 00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:18,105 -Oh, my God, is that how Cubans clap? -You don't wanna find out. 128 00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:23,989 [knocking on door] 129 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,081 I have a salsa emergency. 130 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:37,793 The condiment or the dance? I am equipped for both. 131 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:43,088 There's this girl... Lola. 132 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:45,091 Ooh, is she cubana? 133 00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,013 Close, she's from Sacramento. 134 00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:50,717 We're going out dancing tonight, 135 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,603 and I may have led her to believe that I know how to salsa dance. 136 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,392 -Uh-huh. -Do you think you could show me 137 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,806 -a couple moves you-- -[salsa music starts] 138 00:07:58,895 --> 00:08:00,015 Wow, you're amazing! 139 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:01,265 I know. 140 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,237 Now, salsa is just, "You want me. 141 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,779 You can't have me. 142 00:08:08,363 --> 00:08:10,033 You want me! 143 00:08:10,115 --> 00:08:11,985 No, you can't have me!" 144 00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,331 Now... take me in your arms like a man. 145 00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:20,213 Huh. See, I consider myself a feminist, so I don't know-- 146 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,923 Oh, that kinda man. Got it. [chuckles] 147 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,587 One, two, three. One, two, three. 148 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:32,216 Move those hips. Feel the music! 149 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:33,724 Show me something. 150 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,595 [laughing] 151 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,140 So... 152 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,518 you are in love with this girl? 153 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,074 [tutting] 154 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:45,689 Ho, ho, yikes! 155 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:48,145 Slow down. I'm not in love with her. 156 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:49,856 Love isn't even real. 157 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:53,026 It's just something your nanny says sometimes to your dad. 158 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,616 The first moment I saw my Berto, 159 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:02,995 a lightning bolt went through me and I saw my future. 160 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:08,842 The next 40 years went by as quickly as that first night. 161 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,261 -Wow, that is so inspiring. -Mmm. 162 00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:14,144 We hooked up at a barbecue. 163 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,473 Okay! It's time to dance. 164 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,227 [scatting] 165 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,654 Churning the bottle, churning the bottle. 166 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,111 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 167 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,611 ¡Sí! Take my leg, bruto. [gasps] 168 00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:31,910 Ugh, I get it, we're Cuban! 169 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:33,318 Azúcar! 170 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,156 Can you believe this living stereotype? 171 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,205 I know. It's... Uh-oh. Oh, my God, what's happening? 172 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,458 Oh, it's happening. 173 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,999 Oh, oh, oh, oh, 174 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,134 I think it's my hot Cuban blood! 175 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,552 Oh, I must dance! 176 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,132 Whoo! 177 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,297 -Come on! [laughs] -Hey! 178 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,892 -Come on, now! Whoo! -[Alex chuckles] What? 179 00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,722 Okay, I'm dizzy. [laughs] 180 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,677 [all laughing] 181 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,688 Okay, there goes my shoulder. 182 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,900 [sniffles] Whatever, I needed that. I had a crazy annoying day. 183 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,981 It couldn't have been as bad as mine. 184 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:12,446 At lunch, no one scraped their food into the new composting bins. 185 00:10:12,529 --> 00:10:14,819 Even when I stood in front of the trash cans. 186 00:10:14,906 --> 00:10:17,026 Zach Miller hit her with a hamburger. 187 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,117 -[gasps] -What? 188 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:19,241 No! 189 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,827 He threw it in the wrong bin and I deflected it... 190 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,915 with my face. 191 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,170 No one was listening to me! 192 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,422 So she started screaming and calling everyone, 193 00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:31,714 [imitating Elena] "Earth murderers." 194 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,678 [chuckles] Look, Elena, I get it, 'cause it's in me, too. 195 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:38,639 In five seconds, I go from nodding thoughtfully to lighting a car on fire. 196 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,600 You lit a car on fire? 197 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:47,480 That happened only once, okay? And it was kind of an accident. 198 00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,936 But that's why you and me, we gotta watch it. 199 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:53,355 You know, like today, I barely got a word in 200 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:57,034 before el bobo started interrupting me, talking over me. 201 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,624 I couldn't even get my point across. 202 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,660 Well, that's just sexist. 203 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:01,663 No. 204 00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:05,924 He's not smacking me on the ass and going, "Oye, mamita!" 205 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,629 Oh, that makes me miss your abuelo. 206 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,219 You wanna see real sexism? 207 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,854 Be a woman in the Army, okay? 208 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,468 You got a 22-year-old white boy from South Carolina 209 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:25,886 marching behind you going, "Is it hot out here or is it you?" 210 00:11:25,977 --> 00:11:28,057 Of course, it was hot out there. It was a freaking desert. 211 00:11:30,232 --> 00:11:31,822 But you wanna know how I dealt with that bobo? 212 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:33,399 By being a better soldier than him. 213 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,195 And eventually, that's how they saw me, not as a woman at all. 214 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:39,824 I would prefer to die. 215 00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:45,371 Yo no entiendo cómo these men and women all want to be the same. 216 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,075 We should celebrate our differences. 217 00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:50,536 I would never trade these for that. 218 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,552 Mami. 219 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,050 No, no, I agree with her. 220 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,721 Everybody wants to see those. Nobody wants to see this. 221 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,304 Okay, everybody stop gesturing. 222 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:06,179 Mom, I'm not talking about old people sexism. 223 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:08,348 -[chuckles] Okay. -It's much more subtle now. 224 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:11,766 Men assert their power through microaggressions and mansplaining. 225 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:16,606 Oh, mansplaining. Is that like manscaping? 226 00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,994 I just learned that and I love it. 227 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,294 No, mansplaining is when a-- 228 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,038 It's when a man explains something to a woman... 229 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:31,172 that she already knows, but he acts like he's teaching her. 230 00:12:31,501 --> 00:12:33,291 Does that make sense? 231 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,680 What? I was just explaining what mansplaining-- 232 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,260 Oh, wow! 233 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,722 [mimics explosion] 234 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:49,016 Elena, microaggressions and all this little crap... 235 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,189 If I got bent out of shape every time a man said something stupid, 236 00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,651 you wouldn't be here. 237 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:56,940 Mom! 238 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,570 This is a real problem. 239 00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:01,244 The sexism I'm talking about 240 00:13:01,323 --> 00:13:03,623 is all the little disrespectful things that men do that-- 241 00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:04,700 That they don't even realize. 242 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,997 Sorry, I cut you off. Talk as long as you want. 243 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,421 Not that you need my permission. I'm just... 244 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,920 You know what? I'd like to hear from the ladies. 245 00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,301 Women. Females. You guys... Not guys, humans. 246 00:13:19,716 --> 00:13:21,876 Wow, you broke Schneider. 247 00:13:24,012 --> 00:13:25,012 Mom... 248 00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:29,023 this stuff might not seem like a big deal, but it chips away at you. 249 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,596 You gotta call Scott out. 250 00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,095 Why would I waste my time? 251 00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:33,654 That is right. 252 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:37,320 You will never win men over by confronting them. 253 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,780 You flirt with them. You hypnotize them. 254 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:43,949 And then you do whatever the hell you want. 255 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:51,157 And then... they will think they are the boss, 256 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,747 but really, you are the boss. 257 00:13:55,209 --> 00:13:57,499 Why can't they just know you're the boss? 258 00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,377 Oh, no, they would be so upset. 259 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,165 [mouthing] 260 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,888 [scoffs] 261 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,638 That is horrifying. 262 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:06,850 Oh, sí? 263 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:09,679 Well, nobody ever threw a hamburger in my face. 264 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:16,439 Man, I'm glad I'm a guy, so I don't have to think about sexism. 265 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,226 Mi amor, wake up. 266 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,601 -[screams] -[screams] 267 00:14:56,688 --> 00:14:57,688 Oh! 268 00:14:57,772 --> 00:14:59,902 -What are you doing? -[sighs] 269 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,442 I was thinking 270 00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:07,277 that if you would wear a little makeup, you would look presentable... 271 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:12,197 and maybe the people in school would listen to your garbage ideas. 272 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:16,212 How would that help? 273 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:20,036 Lawyers would love to wear sweatpants, 274 00:15:20,128 --> 00:15:23,878 but they wear suits so the judge will take them seriously. 275 00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,876 -Go on. -Really? 276 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,098 So... 277 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:33,977 makeup makes you beautiful. 278 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,438 Beauty gives you power, 279 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,270 and that is why I never let anyone see me without it. 280 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:45,185 I just realized, my whole life I've never seen you without makeup. 281 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:47,607 Yes, you have. My baby pictures. 282 00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,905 [scoffs] Even in those you had your ears pierced. 283 00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:54,913 Oh, without earrings I look ridiculous. 284 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,665 But mija, por favor... 285 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,209 won't you just try it my way, huh? 286 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,547 I like what you said about power, 287 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,131 so, all right, I'll give it a try. 288 00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:10,177 Ah! Gracias! 289 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:11,261 [laughs] 290 00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,678 Wonderful news. 291 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,175 Elena can be in the Christmas card this year. 292 00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:18,517 Oh, you look very nice. 293 00:16:18,603 --> 00:16:20,613 -Thank you. [chuckles] -[exhales] 294 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:23,268 -I meant her. -What? She didn't do anything. 295 00:16:27,612 --> 00:16:28,912 What? 296 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,068 Nothing. 297 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:33,486 Just, if you get hit with a hamburger today, it's gonna stick. 298 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:38,041 Oh, come on, Elena, it looks nice. You just look different. 299 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:39,372 What is this? 300 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:40,916 Wear-your-grandma-to-work day? 301 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,170 [laughing] 302 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,422 I'm kidding! 303 00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,304 You look great. And whatever this is, good luck with it. 304 00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:50,089 Well, what are you gonna do about Scott, the bobo? 305 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,836 Nothing, because he doesn't matter. 306 00:16:51,928 --> 00:16:55,218 I'm going straight to Dr. Berkowitz. Then I'll accomplish my goal, 307 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,426 and Scott's burgundy-red Buick Regal, 308 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,897 license plate 374 PCE will remain unharmed. 309 00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,058 -Just a little more rouge. -Ay, Mami, no. 310 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,193 Damn it, you're right. 311 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,655 Oh, gracias. 312 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,830 Yeah, thank you so much. Have a nice day. 313 00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,955 Hey, I wanted to talk to you about my waiting room ideas 314 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,422 -from the meeting yesterday. -Hey, we have a waiting room 315 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,502 full of patients out there who are very unhappy. 316 00:17:27,589 --> 00:17:30,929 Sounds like there's a problem that a badass spreadsheet could've fixed. 317 00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:33,638 When my dogs are upset, I rub their bellies. 318 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:35,761 Should I... 319 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:39,770 There's gotta be something we could do. 320 00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:44,805 Blue Sky, what if we stagger the appointments by just five minutes? 321 00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:47,188 People would wait less, 322 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,444 and be so much happier when they see your handsome mug. 323 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,567 Smart way to go! 324 00:17:51,654 --> 00:17:53,454 -Boom. -Boom! 325 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,453 Okay. [chuckles] 326 00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,004 I am not trying to turn this into an argument, 327 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:02,999 but I said the same thing yesterday and nobody listened. 328 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,083 I don't think that's exactly what you said. 329 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,627 No, that's exactly what I said, Scott. 330 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,512 But maybe you didn't hear, because you were on your phone like now. 331 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:12,215 Uh, what? 332 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,393 Yo voy a matar este hombre. 333 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,639 Huh? What does that mean? 334 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,022 I'm just thinking about lunch. I'm hungry. 335 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,058 Oh. 336 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:24,978 When it comes to ideas, no one's keeping score, 337 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,152 but today, Scott wins! 338 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,231 -[imitates gunshot] -[laughs] 339 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:29,315 Oh, all right, 340 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,150 I need to say something. I do. Okay, uh, Scott... 341 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:40,405 Sometimes I've noticed, when I'm talking, you don't listen. 342 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:44,621 I've let it go, but now I'm saying something professional... 343 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,787 in a professional manner... professionally. 344 00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,384 I think what Penelope's trying to say-- 345 00:18:51,463 --> 00:18:53,053 Oh, my God! 346 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,932 Stop saying what I am trying to say, 347 00:18:56,010 --> 00:19:00,350 you mansplaining, microaggressive, bobo cabrón! 348 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,019 You're sexist, and I'm tired of letting it go! 349 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,653 Does that make sense? 350 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:13,739 Okay, lot of big feelings... 351 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:18,280 and a fertile area for what is now our biannual staff meeting. 352 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,365 Hold up, Doc. 353 00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:23,001 You think I'm sexist? That's crazy. 354 00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,289 I love women. 355 00:19:25,206 --> 00:19:27,786 It's got nothing to do with love. It's the way you act. 356 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,375 You dismiss everything I say! 357 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:31,130 -Oh. [scoffs] -[scoffs] 358 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,546 Yeah, you better be waving at someone you know. 359 00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:38,722 Guys, guys! Let's keep our anger where it belongs, with the patients! 360 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:43,143 I don't know what you're complaining about. 361 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:45,354 If anything, I'm the victim of reverse sexism. 362 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,694 What? 363 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,519 I'm in a traditionally female-dominated profession, 364 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:52,984 and if I had to diagnose what's happening, you're jealous because I'm killing it. 365 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,737 Oh, my God! That's insane! 366 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,110 Okay, don't get hysterical. 367 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,566 Okay, you see that! That right there, that is sexist! 368 00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,696 You would never say that to Dr. Berkowitz. 369 00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,334 That's 'cause Dr. B's cool as a cuke. 370 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,120 I'm about to cry. 371 00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:07,372 [sighs] 372 00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,416 I do everything around here, okay? 373 00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,750 I order office supplies, I call insurance companies, 374 00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:15,207 I even make the stupid coffee because yours sucks 375 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,797 and Lori always burns herself. 376 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,223 It never looks hot. 377 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:22,756 How about all the times you take off early for your kids' appointments 378 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:26,307 and I'm left to pick up the slack, because [scoffs] moms are special? 379 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:29,599 What did you say? 380 00:20:30,437 --> 00:20:32,687 Uh-oh! I dropped my pen. 381 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:37,492 Scott, could you go get that for me? 382 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,449 Moms are special! 383 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,820 Because we have to work twice as hard. 384 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:42,908 We really do! 385 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,492 Dogs are not children, Lori! 386 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:51,709 Look, sometimes I do have to take time off because braces need tightening 387 00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:54,673 or because my kid's head is a, quote, "lice carnival." 388 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,383 But I always make it up, and it is just as valid 389 00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,006 as you leaving early for Shark Week. 390 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,932 All I'm saying is we're equal. 391 00:21:02,553 --> 00:21:05,723 We all work hard. We all make the same $30 an hour. 392 00:21:11,312 --> 00:21:12,602 Thirty dollars an hour? 393 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,862 He makes more than me? 394 00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:18,942 You know what? I think I'll get my pen. 395 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:22,738 No, I'll get it on my way out, 'cause I am leaving. 396 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:23,874 Penelope-- 397 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,790 No. Since I'm obviously not appreciated around here, 398 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:29,038 I am going to cut my salary by 100%. 399 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,251 I think she's trying to say she's quitting. 400 00:21:30,331 --> 00:21:31,331 Shut up, Scott! 401 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:33,584 But, yes, I quit. 402 00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,085 [door closes] 403 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:38,047 I'm sorry, Lori. Your dogs are lovely. 404 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:43,973 Thanks for the azúcar. 405 00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:45,183 [laughs] 406 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:48,062 Your accent is still... no good. 407 00:21:49,683 --> 00:21:51,603 But my salsa moves are, thanks to you. 408 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:54,145 My date's such a huge success, it's still happening. 409 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:55,650 Oh, I can't wait to meet her. 410 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:56,941 Eh, you probably won't. 411 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:00,693 -[Elena] Hey. -[Alex] Hey. 412 00:22:00,777 --> 00:22:02,527 [Lydia gasps] Oh... 413 00:22:03,113 --> 00:22:04,953 what happened to your face? 414 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:10,745 Um, I took the makeup off after first period, 415 00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:12,540 because people were staring at me 416 00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:16,463 and all these boys were talking to me, which is the last thing I want. 417 00:22:16,961 --> 00:22:21,631 I don't understand any words you are saying to me. 418 00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,092 [Alex] It was terrible. 419 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,796 My friends were calling her names like cute and pretty. 420 00:22:27,889 --> 00:22:29,599 I'm the pretty one in this family. 421 00:22:31,767 --> 00:22:33,597 Yes, you are, papito. 422 00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:38,726 Elena, I thought you were finally listening to me. 423 00:22:38,815 --> 00:22:40,725 I did listen to you, Abuelita. 424 00:22:40,817 --> 00:22:43,737 And I listened to Mom, too. I was very professional. 425 00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:46,370 I smiled and nodded and was nice to everyone. 426 00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,116 It looked really unnatural. 427 00:22:51,036 --> 00:22:54,416 I mean, some people still called me Garbage Girl, but I just went... 428 00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,626 When inside, I was thinking... 429 00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:01,005 -So, thank you. [chuckles] -Oh! 430 00:23:01,088 --> 00:23:03,088 [laughs] You're welcome, mija. 431 00:23:03,174 --> 00:23:04,974 So, tomorrow, we try the makeup again? 432 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:08,391 No, Abuelita, I tried it and I didn't like it. 433 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:10,010 Oh, honey. 434 00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:13,927 This morning I saw what you could be. 435 00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,690 The granddaughter I have always wanted. 436 00:23:22,651 --> 00:23:25,571 I wish you would've said that in Spanish, so I didn't understand it. 437 00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:29,201 Oh, niña, no! No, I didn't mean it like that. No, no. 438 00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:33,543 You know, you use makeup like armor because it makes you comfortable. 439 00:23:34,038 --> 00:23:36,168 Well, this is how I feel comfortable. 440 00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,174 I like the way I am, even if you don't. 441 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:40,381 Elena... 442 00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:42,585 [exhales] 443 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:45,421 [panting] Mami, I did something terrible. 444 00:23:45,507 --> 00:23:47,257 It's okay, I have a shovel. 445 00:23:48,219 --> 00:23:50,679 Wait, what? Wait, what do you think I did? 446 00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:53,102 It doesn't matter, amor. No one will ever know. 447 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:55,892 Mami... I quit my job. 448 00:23:55,977 --> 00:23:58,147 I don't understand. [stutters] The job ended? 449 00:23:58,229 --> 00:23:59,229 No, it didn't end. 450 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:00,693 -Did your boss die? -No. 451 00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,232 Was there a fire? Scandal? 452 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,527 Was he a sex offender 453 00:24:04,610 --> 00:24:06,650 and they closed down the business because of the shame? 454 00:24:06,737 --> 00:24:07,697 No! 455 00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:10,907 I have just said all the reasons! 456 00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:14,948 I quit my job because I found out 457 00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,407 that comemierda Scott makes more than I do, 458 00:24:17,498 --> 00:24:19,328 and he's only been there one month. 459 00:24:20,084 --> 00:24:23,754 Oh, so you quit because of principles. 460 00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,800 -Are you crazy? -[gasps] 461 00:24:27,924 --> 00:24:31,354 I know, I know. I did exactly what I told Elena not to do. 462 00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:33,928 I yelled, I screamed, and it felt great. 463 00:24:34,015 --> 00:24:35,805 But, now, we're all gonna have to live in the car. 464 00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:37,351 [panting] 465 00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,854 [knocking on door] 466 00:24:38,935 --> 00:24:40,265 [Lydia] It's open! 467 00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:42,563 Penelope? 468 00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:46,067 Oh, hello, Lydia. 469 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:47,612 You look lovely, as always. 470 00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:48,824 I know. 471 00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,157 I will let you two talk. 472 00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,871 [sighs] What's up? 473 00:24:57,954 --> 00:25:00,464 Penelope, please, come back to work. I'm beggin' you. 474 00:25:00,541 --> 00:25:03,211 [stutters] I can't run the office without you. 475 00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,134 [scoffs] You're just saying that to be nice. 476 00:25:05,212 --> 00:25:07,462 No, I'm not! I need you. 477 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,304 Five bucks more an hour. 478 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:14,352 That guy. 479 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,930 Well, he's a good nurse... 480 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,179 but it wasn't right. Wasn't right. 481 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,564 [stutters] But in my defense... 482 00:25:22,938 --> 00:25:25,148 he did ask for more than you did, 483 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:28,032 and I have a lot of trouble saying no. 484 00:25:28,985 --> 00:25:31,065 That's why Lori works with us. 485 00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:36,451 That mystery's solved. 486 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:42,121 To be honest, I don't know if it's a woman thing or what. 487 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,288 I didn't even think about negotiating. 488 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,496 I was newly separated. I really needed a job. 489 00:25:46,587 --> 00:25:48,457 You said, "Do you want one?" I said, "Yes." 490 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:52,257 And you see, he made me feel that somehow I was lucky to have him. 491 00:25:52,342 --> 00:25:54,262 I even gave him my parking spot. 492 00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:58,432 Oh, so the red Buick is yours? 493 00:25:59,850 --> 00:26:00,680 Good to know. 494 00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:06,732 [stutters] But I'm sorry, and it was nothing personal. 495 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:07,815 And... 496 00:26:08,942 --> 00:26:10,282 you deserve more. 497 00:26:12,488 --> 00:26:14,068 How about this? How about this? 498 00:26:15,365 --> 00:26:19,195 What if I give you a raise, and you make the same amount as Scott? 499 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:23,169 -Plus a dollar more an hour. -Done. 500 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,880 Two dollars more an hour and Scott starts pulling his weight? 501 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,340 -Done. -Which he's never gonna do, 502 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:30,130 so let's make it three dollars an hour. 503 00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:31,764 -Done! Please? -Okay. 504 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,300 -Okay. [laughs] -[laughs] 505 00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:34,553 -That was fun. [chuckles] -[sighs] 506 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,847 And I have to admit, Scott is not a terrible nurse. 507 00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:40,019 He's good with the patients, you know? 508 00:26:40,599 --> 00:26:43,019 He's got a charm that I do not understand. [sighs] 509 00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:46,651 Well, he's got that jock thing going on. 510 00:26:46,730 --> 00:26:48,690 I think that's what seduced me. 511 00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:54,910 You know, all the nicknames and the fist bumps... 512 00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:57,408 I guess I got caught up in the bromance. 513 00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,374 I get it. 514 00:27:00,202 --> 00:27:03,002 No, I don't get it at all. [chuckles] But I get it. 515 00:27:03,997 --> 00:27:05,247 So, are we good? 516 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,502 Yes. 517 00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:09,631 -Boom? -Yeah, I don't do that. 518 00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:12,302 I do this. 519 00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,891 Are you asleep, mi amor? 520 00:27:22,974 --> 00:27:26,484 [grunts softly] Abuelita, no. We're not doing this again. 521 00:27:26,645 --> 00:27:27,595 No, no. 522 00:27:27,688 --> 00:27:29,568 I'm not here to make you up. 523 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:31,358 I'm here to do this. 524 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:44,907 This is me. 525 00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:47,334 No armor. 526 00:27:48,917 --> 00:27:51,167 [chuckles softly] I think you look beautiful. 527 00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:52,883 Aw. 528 00:27:53,839 --> 00:27:55,169 I hate it. 529 00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:59,888 This is how you feel when you're wearing makeup? 530 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:02,010 Yeah, it is. 531 00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:03,887 Then I understand, 532 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:06,604 and I will never bother you about that again. 533 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,435 Except for your quinces. 534 00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:10,479 And I'm okay with that. 535 00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:17,740 You know, this is the only time anyone has ever seen me without makeup. 536 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:19,874 I'm honored. 537 00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:23,489 Well, one time your abuelo came home early and saw me, 538 00:28:23,577 --> 00:28:26,867 but as soon as I realized, I went out the window. 539 00:28:26,955 --> 00:28:28,955 [both chuckle] 540 00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:32,341 I assume he thought I was an intruder. We never spoke of it. 541 00:28:34,630 --> 00:28:36,630 -Are you wearing a little mascara? -No! 40545

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