All language subtitles for Batman S01E09 - Zelda The Great-eng

♪ Batman ♪

A quiet peaceful night
in Gotham City.

Except at the
First National Bank

at exactly 8:37.

Hold it. Hands up.

Don't move.

Escaped, gentlemen.

Thanks to a bulletproof vest
escaped clean as hound's tooth.

with precisely
one hundred thousand in cash.

Need I tell you
what this means?

The devil of an
unknown bandit.

The one who strikes
every April the 1st

for exactly a hundred grand.

Correct, Chief O'Hara.

Well, the third year running
an identical pattern.

Got a call from the president of
the Gotham City League of Banks.

He told me bluntly
the league is becoming uneasy.

Sure and I don't blame them.

A fine bunch of April fools
we're looking.

Oh, don't castigate yourselves.

You're tip-top officers,
all of you.

But still..

...two years on this case

and you men haven't
turned up a single clue.

Any reason to think
you'll do better this time?

This one is bigger
than the lot of us.

Commissioner...we need help.

Yes, I'm inclined to agree.

Ascend to the roof, Chief
O'Hara, turn on the Bat-signal.

- Yes, sir.
- I'll try the hotline.

No one to answer
the Bat-phone.

Because Bruce Wayne
and Dick Grayson

along with Alfred the butler

are on the roof
of Wayne Manor..

...stargazing.

How's that, Master Dick?

Fine, thanks, Alfred.

Wow, the rings of Saturn.

This is sure some fun, Bruce.

Astronomy is more
than mere fun, Dick.

- It is?
- Yes.

It helps give us
a sense of proportion.

Reminds us how little
we are really.

People tend to forget
that sometimes.

Gosh, yes, that's right.

I'll bet I'll see those rings
a little differently this time.

If you boys have
finished stargazing

there's a delicious rib roast
on the dining room table.

Just one more minute,
Aunt Harriet.

Goodness gracious,
look up at that cloud.

Isn't that the
famous Bat-signal?

'It sure is, Aunt Harriet.'

Commissioner Gordon
must wish the services

of the, ahem, Dynamic Duo.

Mercy alive.

Whoever that unknown Batman is

I hope he sees the signal.

Uh, great heavens,
what a fool I am.

- Isn't today Wednesday, Alfred?
- Indeed, sir.

Wednesday night,
Gotham Town hall.

We have tickets to that lecture
on Latin-American affairs.

Holy Venezuela, you're right.

If we dash, we can
catch part of it.

- Excuse us, Aunt Harriet.
- Goodnight, Aunt Harriet.

Oh, and don't worry about
Dick's supper, Aunt Harriet.

We'll have some good,
hot pancakes later.

Dick Grayson.

Running out on a rib roast

for a lecture in politics?

Alfred, get ready to catch me.
I think I'm gonna faint.

My pleasure, madam.

Sorry about the holdup.
What's the problem?

You-you just said it
yourself, Batman.

- "A holdup." Big.
- We're on our way.

To the Bat-poles.

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪♪

Well, one clue that
slug from the guard's pistol

after it ricocheted from
the bandit's bulletproof vest.

We hoped that
it might contain

identifiable fibers
from the bandit's clothing.

- No luck, eh?
- Our hopes were blasted.

Lab report, negative.

I'll take this anyway.

Our own equipment
at the Bat-cave

may prove more revealing.

Meantime, let's ponder
the crook's motive.

A hundred thousand smackers.
That's the motive.

But why?

Why exactly one hundred
thousand dollars?

Leaving another
half million untouched.

Batman's right.
That has some meaning.

The same strange
pattern every year.

Precisely a hundred thousand
each April 1st.

Glory be, I've got it.

It's to pay his income taxes.

A loyal taxpayer stooping
to criminal methods?

Uh, sure, when you
put it that way.

I fear you're
growing cynical, Chief O'Hara.

The notion
of a faithful taxpayer

robbing a bank is absurd.

It's this case
that's driving me mad.

'We're up against
a blank wall.'

Not even a single lead.

Right, Robin. So what do
we do in such a case?

- We make a lead.
- 'Exactly.'

"Make a lead?"

In heaven's name,
Boy Wonder, how?

Don't worry. Batman will figure
it out. Won't you, Batman?

Operator, this
is Batman speaking.

Get me the editor
of the Gotham City Times.

I have a scheme to throw
our enemies into confusion.

I'm going to plant a story.

Extra, extra.
Get your newspaper here.

Read about the bandit
who stole the counterfeit money.

Yes, that's what he did.
Counterfeit money.

Friend, what was
counterfeit money

doing in the vault of
the First National Bank?

If you wanna know,
buy a paper.

I ain't no special
news service.

I wonder what it was
doing there?

Oh, "Awaiting at
the bank for disposal."

Makes sense.
Hey, paper here.

Read about the bandit
who stole the counterfeit money.

Here. Read about it, right now.

How are you doing with
that bullet, Batman?

'Amazing. Come here and look.'

Any trace of what
the crook was wearing?

Wow.

Those are fiber
patterns, alright.

Notice from left to right.
First, nylon coveralls.

Next, what seems
to be...orange wool.

And silk.

Unless I'm crazy,
about ten layers

of different colored silks.

Square on the button, Robin.

This bullet passed
through 13 layers

of brightly-colored silk.

Holy rainbow.

- Who'd wear a rig like that?
- Let me show you a clue.

Gosh, that's a stumper.
I think it's organic, though.

Correct, the unmistakable

spectrographic pattern
of ambergris.

Ambergris?

You mean that smelly, oily stuff
they use in making perfumes?

Correct again, which leads to
only one possible conclusion.

- The crook was a lady.
- Hardly a lady, Robin.

- But female, yes.
- The Catwoman?

No, impossible.
She's safely up the river.

- Then who could she be?
- I don't know.

I think...we're faced
with some new

super-criminal
not in our crime file.

- Yes, Batman.
- Here's a tip, commissioner.

Alert the entire force.

Be on the lookout for a woman
in an orange dress.

Good heavens, a woman.

What is the world coming to?

We can't stop to
worry about that now.

Our task is to fight crime.

Goodbye for now.

The morning newspaper, sir.
It just arrived.

Ah, good. Thanks.
I want to read this.

My pleasure, sir.

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Would you and Master Robin
be departing soon?

- Oh, indeed, we will.
- Thank you, sir.

Then I'll go and get
the vacuum cleaner.

Looks perfect, Batman.

Yep, it's all there.

Just the way I dictated it.

Oh, boy.

I'll bet somewhere
in Gotham City

there's one really
shook lady crook.

I hope so, Robin.

Now to make this
planted story sprout.

Meanwhile, behind the facade

of this innocent-looking
bookstore

there lurks the secret workshop

of a strange
Albanian genius..

... Eivol Ekdal.

Sorry to be late, Eivol.

Counterfeit you bring me.

To me, Eivol Ekdal,
worthless counterfeit.

Look.

How could I know, Eivol?

"How could I know, Eivol?"

"Zelda the Great.

Even greater than Houdini."

Without the marvelous
escape devices which I

Eivol Ekdal made
for you each year

you would be nothing.

Stop taunting me.

I've always paid
you well, haven't I?

I've even taken up a life
of crime to pay your price.

Poor Zelda.

And I suppose, it offends

your lofty principles, huh?

But it does, Eivol.

I hate robbing banks.

And all I ever wanted
to be was

a poor...but honest magician.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Aww.

I thought so.
A glycerin tear producer.

And now, my conscience-stricken
little crocodile

wipe away those
disgusting phony tears

'and let's talk sensibly, huh?'

But what am I
going to do, Eivol?

Hmm, that is the question.

My act's been slipping,
you know.

If I don't come up
with a super-sensational escape

this year...I'm finished.

Such bad luck that you're
stuck with those counterfeits.

Such unusually bad luck.

For you see..

Yes?

I had it all prepared
for you, Zelda.

Guaranteed without question

the most super-sensational
escape device ever invented.

Even by me, Eivol Ekdal.

Oh, show me.

Well, since you
can't pay my price

of one hundred
thousand dollars

I hardly see the point.

Well, alright.

Behold, Eivol Ekdal's

inescapable doom trap.

A cage constructed
of utterly unbreakable

jet-age plastic.

Will they believe that?

Of course.

Before you get inside
you will demonstrate.

I'll show you.
Duck behind the trunk.

Oh, it's fantastic.

The plastic isn't
even scratched.

Of course, I told you.
It's unbreakable.

Please, come up on the stage.

Examine more closely.

Step inside.

The hinged wall is
closed and padlocked

by member of the audience.

From the floor grill
is pouring

a deadly-colored gas.

The audience is screaming
for you to escape.

How do you do it?

Why, it's too simple.

I lift the iron grill

slip out a trapdoor.

The colored gas
conceals my actions.

Please...try it.

- Oh!
- It's shocking, eh?

Oh, the grill's electrified.

Violently.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Oh, wonderful.

Now, tell me..

...what's the secret
of my getting out?

My dear, you don't even
get in until I get my money.

But I will give you one hint.

The secret of my doom
trap involves..

Guess who?

The Caped Crusader, Batman.

- Batman?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, but you must
be mad, Eivol.

He's a sworn enemy
of crooks like us.

But he's also, what you
only pretend to be

the worlds greatest
escape artist.

- Ah!
- Mm-hmm.

Yes. Now I begin to see.

In perfect
working order, Batman.

All systems A-Okay.

Right.

Bait for the mousetrap.

Let's go.

Atomic batteries to power.

Turbines to speed.

Clear. Ready to move out.

Not one more word until I get
my hundred thousand dollars.

Well, how will I find it?

They'll be watching
all the banks like hawks.

Please. Read
the newspaper again.

Please.

"The Star of Samarkand."

- That fabulous emerald.
- Exactly.

It will be at
Stonewin's Jewelry

on display one day only.

Not quite
as convenient as cash

but quite acceptable.

Quick, let me think.

I'll, uh, I'll need equipment.

Oh, please,
consider the contents

of my humble
secret workshop as yours.

- A trick mirror.
- Yes.

- A disguise.
- Hmm.

And a set of..

- Wait a minute.
- What is the matter?

- Ha ha. Batman.
- Oh?

You're a strange Albanian
genius, Eivol

but you're also
bit of a fool.

Don't you see, this is almost
a bit too convenient?

What do you mean?

My feminine intuition
tells me

I better have
two strings to my bow.

The Star of Samarkand..

...it could be
a typical Batman trap.

How does it look,
Ms. Stonewin?

I beg your pardon?

This emerald of ours,
does it look life-like?

Oh, yes, the emerald.

- Do you feel alright, ma'am?
- Hmm? Oh, yes. Certainly.

It's just that I've read so
often about you and Batman

in the press and well

the experience of actually
viewing you in the flesh

is faintly faint-making.

Please, Ms. Stonewin, there's
no reason to be disturbed.

That's right. Behind our mask,
we're perfectly ordinary people.

This unique garb of ours

is one of our weapons
in crime fighting.

It shouldn't bother anyone
who abides by the law.

Of course.

Do forgive me.

You were saying about
that synthetic emerald.

Bait, Ms. Stonewin.

Green cheese to trap
a dangerous female bandit.

- We need your cooperation.
- Oh, just name it, Batman.

I'll do it.

Our scheme is to
conceal ourselves

somewhere on
the premises.

Just upstairs.

That balcony, Batman.

Perfect. When the crook strikes,
we'll pounce on our prey.

Even if she eludes us,
we've still got her.

Robin's right.

The inside of the
Star of Samarkand

is hollow, you see.

It contains a tiny

super-power homing transmitter.

We'll pick up the beam
in our Batmobile.

You're nearly
simply too much, Batman.

I hope so, Ms. Stonewin.

Too much for this crook anyway.

Robin, run outside,
take a final check.

Roger.

In the street,
Ms. Stonewin. Look.

'Two of Chief O'Hara's
finest patrolmen'

'in the guise
of power company workers.'

'And under the tent..'

...our trump card.

The Batmobile.

As I guessed,
another Batman trap.

I'll have to get my hundred
thousand somewhere else.

Somewhere Batman
wouldn't even dream of.

And if it's games they want,
they'll have 'em.

Do you read me, Batman?

Loud and clear.

Emerald's working.
All systems go.

Alright, come back inside.

We'll hide on the balcony.
Over and out.

Roger.

Traps and counter traps.

Back in the front hall
of Stately Wayne Manor..

Mr. Wayne's residence.

What?

Dick Grayson struck in the head
with a batted ball?

Oh, dear.
I'll get there at once.

Which playground is it?

Oh, you've already sent
a special taxi to pick me up?

Why, that's very
kind of you, Ms..

What did you say
your name was?

Ms. Smith?

Play-playground matron.

Uh, thank you, Ms. Smith.

Thank you so much.
I'll be waiting out in front.

It's been
almost two hours.

Could we have
made a mistake?

- I don't see how.
- Me neither.

But still
we're only human.

Good morning, madame.

Would you care to see
the Star of Samarkand?

Ah, yes, I, uh,
I would indeed, young lady.

This way please.

- Look.
- The old lady in black.

Oh! It's amazing.

It looks almost real,
doesn't it?

What?

'Surrender!'

'We've got you, bank bandit.'

Holy hole in a doughnut!
What happened?

She's a master illusionist.

She projected
a false image

with those tiny
mirrors in her hat.

- The emerald's gone.
- And so are all my customers.

Officer Clancy,
alert the entire force.

Unwrap the Batmobile.

Don't worry.
We'll get her.

Batman, look, in the gutter.

Fake emerald
with our homing transmitter.

She threw it away.

The tricky,
little she-devil.

She must have smelled
our trap.

She was merely
taunting us.

So what's her real game?

Hey, Batman,
your Bat-phone's blinking.

- Batman here.
- Shocking news, Batman.

Your scheme has worked, but
not quite the way you planned.

- What do you mean?
- Your counterfeit story.

It's driven the felon
to strike again.

'Not at the Star of Samarkand.
She's pulled a kidnap.'

- Who?
- A Mrs. Harriet Cooper.

What?

Oh, a-a clever choice
of victim, Batman.

This Mrs. Cooper is the
aunt of young Dick Grayson

who's the ward
of millionaire, Bruce Wayne.

Great heavens!

Has there been
a ransom note?

That's the worst of it, Batman.

We've received a note
with instructions

for one hundred thousand dollars

to be delivered
within one hour.

One hour only.

And no one can
find Bruce Wayne.

Holy backfire. What have
they done to poor Aunt..

What have they done
to that Mrs. Cooper?

Holy backfire's right!

Aunt Harriet
has just one hour.

What'll it be?

Splash or salvation?

Hold a hopeful breath
for Aunt Harriet

until tomorrow night.

Same Bat-time.

Same Bat-channel.

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪

♪ Batman ♪♪