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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,280 And finally, I'd like to dedicate 2 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:09,360 The Hottest Woman Ever award to my fellow nominees. 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:13,120 Nikki, Emily? It's been an honor to be nominated alongside you. 4 00:00:13,120 --> 00:00:14,840 Move it, Deb, I gotta take a fat piss! 5 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:17,040 Jesus! What is wrong with you!? 6 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:19,280 Now that I got the zPad, I pee sitting down. 7 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:20,720 What are you wearing, dude? 8 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:23,000 If you're gonna walk around in pajamas, put on a Snuggie. You look gross! 9 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,480 Oh, really? You might want to keep your headphones on tonight 10 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,880 if you don't wanna be kept awake 11 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,360 by the rhythmic banging of Stebe and I's headboard. 12 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,800 No can do. This baby came with a free trial of zMusic. 13 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,400 I'm taking my dad through the entire TainT discography tonight. 14 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,040 Got a long night ahead of us. 15 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:52,640 Showtime. Hope Stebe's ready to lambaste me with some disgusting dirty talk. 16 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,520 Oh, hey, Deb. I'm watching a news piece about schools censoring 17 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:58,280 "Huck Finn"'s aggressive use of the N-word. 18 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,960 Oh, hey. Ya like what you see? 19 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,840 It's a hot-button issue, but Twain did say it was meant to challenge the reader. 20 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,480 The lingerie, Stebe! 21 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:10,360 You know, actually, I'm not... I'm not sure I'm up for that, Deb. 22 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,240 Are you sure? 23 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:16,240 Yeah. I'm just a little... tired. Yeah, that's it. Tired. 24 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,640 Will I ever be normal again? 25 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:48,000 Look at this fat tub of shit. 26 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:53,320 {\i1}Hey, it's okay! I can say it, 'cause that tub of shit is me.{\i0} 27 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:59,240 Hi! I'm Keith, founder of MyCycle, a new, fun, virtual, meditative exercise 28 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,480 that connects you with other riders supporting each other 29 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:06,920 in obtaining that perfect body and achieving maximum zen. 30 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:11,480 So join me and my hand picked group of elite riders as we personally lead you 31 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,720 towards a spiritual awakening. See you there, Deb. 32 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,680 {\an8}So we're 3 albums deep and can't miss. 33 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,960 {\an8}Now Bakersfield's golden boys were gonna send shockwaves through the industry 34 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,200 {\an8}with "A TainT NuMetal Clit-mas"! 35 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,280 {\an8}Eighteen original tracks for the holiday season. 36 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,680 {\an8}Track one? "All I Want For Christmas is NU"! 37 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,040 What? 38 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,240 Stop playing me this fucking shit! 39 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:15,600 Does this mean my super-old dad doesn't like NuMetal? 40 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,880 Guess who's home early! 41 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,280 Deb? Deb? What's going on in there? 42 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,320 Deshaun! 43 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,160 Deb! Why didn't you tell me we were having Deshaun over, dude? 44 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,160 Deb called me about that leak downstairs. 45 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,080 Your culprit's right here behind this drywall. 46 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,480 Stebe, you can't let these things go, man. You could get mold. 47 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,560 Alright, guys, you're doing great! 48 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:45,640 Hey! Deb! Who's that clown on the bicycle screen in our bedroom?! 49 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,920 Stebe, relax. It's Keith, my MyCycle trainer. 50 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:50,480 {\i1}Alright, everybody, focus on my rock-hard glutes.{\i0} 51 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,920 Follow their rhythm. 52 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,480 What is this filth? And what the hell do you need an exercise bike for? 53 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,880 Maybe to give my body more attention than you ever do. 54 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:03,200 - What's that supposed to mean? - You want me to step out? 55 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,840 - No! - You need to hear this, Deshaun. 56 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,120 Stebe, some of us aren't blessed with the ability to sneak into the kitchen, 57 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:12,520 scarf down pizza pockets at 2:00 a.m., and wake up with the same sexy dad bod. 58 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,280 - I have to work for my dad bod. - What? 59 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,040 You're gonna tell me you haven't been late night snacking? 60 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,800 You promised you'd quit with me! 61 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,000 You're losing your mind, Deb! I'm worried about you, seriously! 62 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,680 I'm seriously worried about you. I'm not listening to this crap! 63 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,800 Oh, that sounds like quite the Adam Sandler film, Tomothy. 64 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,040 I am a Adam Sandler fiend. 65 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,240 Do you wanna watch me take a shower? 66 00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,840 After a laugh like that, I could use a rinse. 67 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,600 So what do you think of our facilities, Tomothy? 68 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,480 Your technology is like nothing I've ever seen. 69 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,200 And it's all fueled by our very own patented zEnergy... 70 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,560 a reliable, self-sustaining fuel source 71 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,240 generated and harnessed entirely under this roof. 72 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,360 Is there a problem, Tomothy? 73 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,320 - No? - Then welcome to the Zeebos family! 74 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,800 Really? Thank you, Mr. Zeebos. 75 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,280 Tomothy, you are now one of my children. 76 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,360 Actually, I prefer Tom. 77 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,600 This was going beautifully! 78 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,440 I took a shower in front of you! 79 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,640 Put my genitals in your face! And you said nothing! 80 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:30,240 But you couldn't just accept the name I generously bestowed upon you? 81 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:32,040 I'm sorry! Tomothy is fine. 82 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,480 If I plan on making zEnergy the preferred fuel source across the globe, 83 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,480 then I need an unpaid intern with blind loyalty. 84 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,000 Not an insubordinate who refuses to go by Tomothy! 85 00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:51,080 I need this zPad fixed stat! 86 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,720 Sir, this is our main office. If you broke your zPad, 87 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,480 I can provide directions to our nearest customer-friendly zStore... 88 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:00,120 I'm no customer, lady. I account for upwards of 500 plays on your music app. 89 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:03,480 I'm basically a shareholder. I'll take a shit in the Koi pond if I want to! 90 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,400 Oh, you're kicking me out now? I didn't even do nothing! 91 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,960 I'm not having a meltdown! I'm a master of burying my emotions. 92 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,040 It's why my dad loves me. And my art. 93 00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:19,280 Understood. Father wishes to see him. 94 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,800 You work for your dad? Shaking my damn head! 95 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,480 Alright! Almost there! 96 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:29,960 - We're close! - Yes! 97 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,800 It's happening! 98 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:34,240 That's it! 99 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,440 {\i1}Great ride, everybody! Same time tomorrow, alright?{\i0} 100 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,000 {\i1}Hey, Deb? Hey, do you mind taking a private ride with me?{\i0} 101 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:45,040 Actually, Keith, I'm a bit... tired. 102 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,120 {\i1}Yeah. I overstepped. I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, huh?{\i0} 103 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:52,320 No, no! I guess I could handle one more ride. 104 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:57,240 {\i1}So I have a confession to make. My eyes were locked on your feed all session.{\i0} 105 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,760 For training purposes! 106 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:05,200 {\i1}This weekend I'm hosting our Elite Retreat, exclusively for elite riders.{\i0} 107 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,600 {\i1}We do it every year at my humble abode just outside Bakersfield.{\i0} 108 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,400 You should join us! 109 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,400 {\i1}I'd really love for you to come. To the retreat!{\i0} 110 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,160 - Mom? - What?! I didn't do nothing! 111 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:25,280 What?! 112 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:39,920 Hey! Where am I, asshole? 113 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:41,880 Why, you're in the future! 114 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,840 Pure, clean, zEnergy! 115 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,320 I am George Zeebos. 116 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,400 But in this building, I'm known simply as "Father." 117 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,560 Hello, Theon Hornsby. 118 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,040 The name's Theo, dickhead! 119 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:12,080 How about a test of strength? Can you pick up the two cans in front of you? 120 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,480 You wanna see strength? 121 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,880 Check out some footage of me in the pit at Woodstock '94! 122 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,360 I can't let go! 123 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,920 - State your name. - Theo! 124 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:23,680 - Say it again. - Theo. 125 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,240 - Once more. - Theo. 126 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,400 - Are you happy? - Yeah. 127 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:27,480 - Are you happy? - Yes? 128 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,440 - Are you happy? - I said yes! 129 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,680 Are you lonely? 130 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:33,040 You're projecting, dude. You're totally projecting. 131 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,520 - Are you mad your father broke your zPad? - What? 132 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,640 Are you mad your father hates your music? 133 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,400 - What are you talking about, dude? - Do you want a father who values you? 134 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,600 - You're crazy, man. - Do you want a father who values you? 135 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,040 More than anything! 136 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:52,480 Would you like to be my new unpaid intern, Theon Hornsby? 137 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,120 Yes... Father. 138 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,320 Deb! Deb, where are you going? 139 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:06,080 Oh, I'm going on a weekend retreat for MyCycle. 140 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:09,520 Guess I'm an elite rider now. Not bad, huh? 141 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,200 - But who's gonna order dinner? - Yeah, we need to eat, Deb. 142 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,160 Order your own god damn dinner! Love ya! 143 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:23,320 Don't fuck Keith! 144 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,640 - You like your salad? - Yeah. It's good. 145 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,240 - Where's Uncle Theo? - Alright, that's enough small talk, okay? 146 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,960 If we're gonna get through this weekend, I need some peace and quiet during dinner. 147 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,360 Can you just give me that... Hey! Deshaun! Chef BoyarDeshaun in the house! 148 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:52,000 D's Signature Spicy Lasagna, fresh out of the oven. 149 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,400 Be careful, now. That baby's got some kick. 150 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,040 "Got some kick"! What is that? Is that a rap phrase? 151 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:00,000 Nope it's a very common expression. 152 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,360 "Some kick!" Definitely holding on to that one. 153 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:05,840 But, Stebe, just want you to know... if you need to talk about Deb, I'm here. 154 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,080 I've been trying to find a reason she'd just walk out like that. 155 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,000 And there are many. But they all point to this being my fault, 156 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,920 when my gut is telling me it's gotta be Matt's fault. 157 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,360 Stebe, Einstein said, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over 158 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,240 and expecting different results." 159 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:26,920 We fall in love, get married, and end up making the same stupid mistakes, 160 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:32,080 but for some unfathomable reason, our soulmates stick by our side. 161 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:36,400 Then one day, you look at their body and you realize you've seen it in the bedroom, 162 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,600 in the kitchen, in the shower, on the toilet, 163 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:41,960 and that you have done everything imaginable to it. 164 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,520 - You guys want me to leave? - No! Matt, this is important. 165 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:49,200 And we're just insane enough to question why the spark isn't what it used to be. 166 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,920 Lava cakes'll be up soon. Leave some room for dessert, fellas. 167 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:55,560 You think mom's having sex right now? 168 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:09,720 Well, hello there. You must be here for the Elite Retreat. 169 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,600 Yes! Actually, Keith personally invited me. 170 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,560 - I think we can squeeze you in. -"Squeeze" me in? 171 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,240 And these are the living quarters. But before we press on, 172 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,640 I'd like to show you something, just inside this ominously dark chamber. 173 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,160 Come, Theon. Peer down my telescope. 174 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:50,640 - Holy shit fart! Is this my room?! - No, Theon. It is mine. 175 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,160 You're a TainT fan? 176 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,280 How could one deny the raw talent exhibited 177 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,560 on the revolutionary self-titled debut? 178 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:02,920 Outshined only by the polished sound of sophomore release, "DickFist"? 179 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:08,280 And on and on, each album better than the one before it. 180 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,840 You are the father I never had. 181 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,200 You're doing great, guys. Ashley, you are blowing my mind today! 182 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:23,400 After the session, maybe I can do another Jell-O shot off your abs, Keith. 183 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:28,040 You're crazy, Ash! Wait a tick! 184 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,640 Now Deb's bringing the heat! Deb, you are crushing it! 185 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,160 Thank you, Keith. 186 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,280 Deb, you are crushing it! 187 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:40,000 Thank... 188 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,880 Oh, my God! Your eyeball! 189 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,720 Amen, Deb! She's got the right idea. Hey, let's push it! 190 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,960 The pedals! They're going too fast! 191 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,720 I can't get out! 192 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:57,080 Hey, what's going on, guys? I'm noticing some dips in energy! 193 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,640 - What?! - You love to see it! 194 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:07,960 - Oh, God! Oh, God! I'm gonna... - Take a look at my elite riders over here! 195 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,200 Hey, slow down, guys! You're gonna put me out of a job! 196 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,560 Alright, everybody, focus on my rock-hard glutes. 197 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,960 We need to motivate each other. You can do it, Ashley! 198 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:20,680 Oh, my God! 199 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,120 Help! 200 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,480 Great ride, everybody! 201 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,200 - Keith?! - In the flesh. 202 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,800 Keith, please! What's happening? 203 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,400 Get back here! She's property of Father now! 204 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,800 What in Jiminy Cricket is going on out there? 205 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,680 {\i1}Got a problem. Someone's stolen the zEnergy conduit.{\i0} 206 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,360 {\i1}A MyCycle studio overloaded before we could shut down power.{\i0} 207 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,720 {\i1}It's only a matter of time before the whole system flatlines.{\i0} 208 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:09,000 Come, Theon. Time for a game of catch. 209 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:30,440 - We have to jump! - What's down there? 210 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,680 Trust me. 211 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,840 Hey, Stebe. 212 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,240 Deshaun! How'd you get in here? Didn't you go home like six hours ago? 213 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,600 The fuck are you eating at 2:00 in the god damn morning? 214 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,080 Nothing! I just came down to watch Jimmy Fallon. 215 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,480 Is that a fuckin' pizza pocket? 216 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,000 It must be Matt's! You should be throwing a bread box at him! 217 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,000 Deshaun, you're just creating more work for yourself! 218 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,720 The only thing that needs fixing 'round here is you, motherfucker. 219 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,040 You looked Deb in the eyes and promised her that you would quit this crap. 220 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,040 I did quit! 221 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,320 Bullshit! You don't deserve that beautiful woman. 222 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,720 You think I don't know that?! 223 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,200 She anticipates everything I want before I even know I want it. 224 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,760 And she asks me for one thing... 225 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,120 to join her in quitting our late-night snack sessions. 226 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:26,720 Yet here I am, still stuffing my face with pizza pockets every night. 227 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,360 And now my web of lies has her thinking that I'm not into her hot body anymore, 228 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,840 when I'm really just afraid to tell her the truth. 229 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,520 Part of me even wonders if I pushed her away because deep down I want her to find 230 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,640 the accountability partner that she deserves. 231 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:42,440 I'm gonna wrap this up now because the adrenaline is wearing off 232 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:45,760 and I feel an avalanche of emotions I did not anticipate! 233 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,560 You know what kinda motherfuckers cry, Stebe? 234 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,240 No. 235 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:59,920 Real-ass motherfuckers. That's who. And you just became an honorary member. 236 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,720 Hey, you're safe now. 237 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,160 You're bleeding. Here, let me help. 238 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,720 - What is this place? - My humble abode. 239 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:21,200 I started MyCycle to help people get the hot bods they only dreamed of. 240 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:25,760 Till Zeebos bought the company with one goal in mind... to use my riders, 241 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,480 turning them into human power generators. 242 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,280 Here. This is the conduit. 243 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,640 It's what keeps this whole place running. You have to destroy it. 244 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,760 It's the key component to successfully run zEnergy. 245 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,120 zEnergy! 246 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,520 Oh, crap. 247 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,560 Looks like this is the end of the line for me. 248 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,000 No! Don't talk like that. 249 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,800 And I just want you to know... watching you ride that out-of-control bike... 250 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,360 it really got me going. 251 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,600 Keith! 252 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,400 It's true. You're the greatest student I've ever had. 253 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:02,920 I'll never forget you... Ashley. 254 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,480 What'd you just call me? 255 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,080 Ashley. That's your name, right? I overheard it during class. 256 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,360 How do you know about Ashley? 257 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,160 Were you watching as we were all being ground into sausage? 258 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:15,880 Sorry! Did I not just mention how watching you cycle gave me a boner? 259 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,720 Did I not just mention that? What is wrong with you? 260 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,840 Oh, my God. What is wrong with me? What am I doing! You don't even know me. 261 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,920 Theo? What are you doing here? 262 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,160 Getting my zPad fixed. What are you doing here!? 263 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,480 - You know this vermin, Theon? - Yeah, this guy lives in my house. 264 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,280 Then you shall do the honors. 265 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,480 Deb, give him the conduit! You're being a dick right now! 266 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,440 Me!? He's using slaves to power zEnergy! 267 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,080 {\i1}- zEnerg... - Shut the fuck up!{\i0} 268 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:47,800 Do it, Theon. You could be the unpaid intern I've been searching for. 269 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:52,600 That is, unless she hands me that conduit this instant. 270 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,240 Yes, Father. 271 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,400 What is wrong with you?! Let's just go home! 272 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:59,160 That's my ex-father's home! I have a new father now. 273 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:04,320 Get her, my child! 274 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,080 Get off me! You effing wish, bro! What the... 275 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:30,200 Zeebos lied to me. This means... he also doesn't like NuMetal? 276 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:35,800 Theo. We live our whole lives searching for validation, 277 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,960 especially from those we love the most. We're not wrong for that. 278 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,480 But maybe if we took a second to look inside ourselves, 279 00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,200 we wouldn't end up looking in stupid places. 280 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:51,320 And who knows? Maybe we'd even end up with different results. Deshaun told me that. 281 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,160 A handyman for the soul, that guy. 282 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,560 Oh, shit! The conduit! 283 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,480 No! 284 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:53,800 Hey, Keith! 285 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,840 - Thanks. - Hey, swing by my place any time. 286 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:02,000 - You can do Jell-O shots off my abs. - No, thanks. 287 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,240 Theo, listen. I have to be honest. 288 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,160 The self-titled debut doesn't do much for me. 289 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,920 But "DickFist" does have some absolute bangers. 290 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:25,360 Deb! I want you to know that I'm sorry. You were right. 291 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:26,800 I have been sneaking downstairs 292 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,560 and eating myself into a state of unconsciousness every night. 293 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,840 And one particular night, 294 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,520 I took a bite of a freshly microwaved pizza pocket and this happened. 295 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:39,360 The filling scalded my penis, rendering it utterly useless. 296 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,920 Who is that guy? 297 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,200 That's the love of my life. 298 00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:51,800 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 25639

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