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*BOB'S BURGERS*
Season 12 Episode 02
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00:00:07,917 --> 00:00:09,552
Episode Title:
"Crystal Mess"
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00:00:09,636 --> 00:00:11,708
Aired on:
October 03, 2021.
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Sync corrections by srjanapala
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Uh...
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00:00:22,619 --> 00:00:24,628
Did someone switch Tina
to white noise?
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Tina, sweetie, why are you
making your sad mumble grumbles?
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I'm just nervous
about the oral report
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I have to give in class today.
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For Wagstaff
75th Anniversary Week.
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Ooh, right!
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The 75th anniversary thing.
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That school's
getting up there, huh?
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Yeah, it looks much younger,
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00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:40,618
but it had a lot of work done.
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- Boob job.
- Mm.
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Our class had to make posters
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for the anniversary assembly.
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00:00:44,381 --> 00:00:45,546
Also, breaking news...
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00:00:45,631 --> 00:00:47,810
Fourth graders don't know
how to spell "anniversary."
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Well, Tina,
I'm sure you'll do great,
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even though sometimes you get
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a debilitating fear
of public speaking.
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Sorry, pretend
I didn't say that last part.
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It's not just that.
This is a speech with a partner.
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00:00:56,785 --> 00:00:58,261
Zeke and I are doing
a report together.
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Wait.
Why is having a partner bad?
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I kind of have a reputation
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when it comes to doing
oral reports with partners.
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They call her "the cooler."
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She'll take your perfectly good
oral presentation
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and throw a bunch
of cold sweat on it.
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They also call her the cooler
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because you can sit on her
at the beach.
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I just don't want to let
my partner down, so
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I get all nervous and sweaty
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and I mess up
my note cards and...
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my mouth gets all phlegmy,
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like right now,
'cause I'm thinking about it.
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Okay, calm down.
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You know, maybe just picture
everyone with a giant booger
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that's trapped
in their nose hairs
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and they look ridiculous.
Speaking of...
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- Bob. Nose hairs.
- Oh.
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Uh, well, I gotta go.
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Not because I had a booger
in my nose.
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I'm gonna go to
the Tuesday farmers market
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in Bog Harbor for produce.
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That's what Dad says
when he goes to his mistress.
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Tina, I'm sorry about
the sweat stuff.
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Y-You get that from me.
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Sometimes I put rolled up
socks under my arms.
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No wonder this guy's
got a mistress.
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Hey, partner!
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I'm real excited
about our report today.
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Hey, Zeke. Uh, yup!
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I mean, I'm not nervous
or anything. I-I feel great.
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Tell that to your pits.
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Ah!
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Anyone have an extra pair
of socks I can borrow?
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For... no reason?
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I have extra socks,
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00:02:01,086 --> 00:02:03,173
but I'm wearing them
over my other socks.
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Why do you have
all those clothes on?
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Jocelyn and I are doing our
Wagstaff Anniversary report
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00:02:07,656 --> 00:02:10,288
on what popular people wore,
past and present.
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We're gonna take off layers
to reveal popular people clothes
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from different decades.
Yes, you're jealous.
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Who's jealous?
Oh, them.
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See ya later, Tina!
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We got this, right?
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Yeah, totally, thumbs up!
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Oh, God.
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Tina. Are you okay?
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00:02:25,466 --> 00:02:27,043
Yeah, really great.
Huh.
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00:02:27,128 --> 00:02:28,918
Okay, I think I know
what's going on.
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Let's go to my office.
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This seems like a situation
for the Anxiety Society.
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So, Panicky Paul,
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00:02:35,134 --> 00:02:38,033
nervous Nellie, and worry Murray
have all experienced
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what you're experiencing.
Isn't that nice?
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It's just... I have to give
an oral report with Zeke...
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I just got a text.
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Oh, my God,
it's from Cassie.
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She's a person I'm dating.
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Twice.
We went on two dates.
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Um, okay...
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Cassie had a nice time
last night.
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What do I write back?
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00:02:55,637 --> 00:02:57,946
Maybe... say you had
a nice time, too?
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00:02:58,031 --> 00:02:59,118
Ooh, that's good!
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00:02:59,203 --> 00:03:01,165
Uh... Okay, Tina, back to you.
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Did the dolls work, or...
what are we doing?
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Uh... A little?
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Uh-huh, uh-huh.
See this crystal?
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Cassie gave it to me.
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That's... nice.
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She says it brings
good energy
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to whoever is
in possession of it.
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00:03:11,543 --> 00:03:12,749
I-I think that's how she put it.
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Are you saying
maybe it could help me?
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What?
Oh, because of your thing?
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With the nervousness?
Maybe.
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I mean, Cassie's so pretty.
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And her car was so clean.
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So, maybe she's right...
about crystals.
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So, yeah,
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go ahead and borrow it.
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Okay. I mean,
I guess it can't hurt.
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Unless it's sharp.
Ow.
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That part's a little sharp.
Thanks, Mr. Frond.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How does this look?
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Maybe just one full line
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of exclamation points
instead of two?
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But then how will she know
I'm excited?
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He's back!
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Oh, thank God.
I was worried about you.
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Why? I was just at
the farmers market.
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Yeah, but you know
how farmers get.
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With their pitchforks.
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00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:48,011
Whoa, that's a big box
of fruits and veggies.
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00:03:48,096 --> 00:03:50,137
Yeah, and I got a huge discount
on all this, too.
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Look at this carrot.
It's got legs.
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00:03:52,279 --> 00:03:53,883
We could put a little pair
of pants on it.
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00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,410
And this tomato's all lumpy.
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00:03:55,495 --> 00:03:57,692
Wait a minute, all this stuff
in here is weird-looking.
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00:03:57,777 --> 00:03:59,104
Yeah, that's why
it was so cheap.
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00:03:59,188 --> 00:04:01,279
Also, it's all
about to go rotten.
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00:04:01,364 --> 00:04:02,592
Uh... yum.
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00:04:02,677 --> 00:04:04,795
People get so judgmental
about how food looks.
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00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,123
I mean, ugly, soft,
discolored food is food, too.
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00:04:08,208 --> 00:04:09,613
No, it's not.
Sorry.
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00:04:09,698 --> 00:04:12,131
I'm proud of you, Bobby.
You saved all this food.
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00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:13,802
Yeah. I mean,
nobody at the farmers market
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00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:15,218
said the word "hero,"
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00:04:15,303 --> 00:04:17,090
but I think
they were thinking it.
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00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:19,209
Hey, Linda, can you turn
the tomato that way?
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00:04:19,294 --> 00:04:20,732
So it's not looking
right at me
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00:04:20,817 --> 00:04:21,951
with its weird tomato eyes?
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00:04:22,036 --> 00:04:23,729
Okay,
but the other side's worse.
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00:04:23,814 --> 00:04:26,267
- Ah!
- And here comes Mr. Carrot.
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00:04:26,352 --> 00:04:28,435
I'm coming
to say hi to you, Teddy.
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I don't like it!
I don't like it!
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And in the '90s,
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00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:34,924
popular people at Wagstaff wore
baby doll dresses
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like Wynona Ryder did
in Reality Bites,
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00:04:37,551 --> 00:04:38,764
which is
my dad's favorite movie
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00:04:38,848 --> 00:04:40,852
and also the password
for his laptop.
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00:04:40,937 --> 00:04:43,084
And these are lace-up jeans
from the 2000s.
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00:04:43,169 --> 00:04:44,816
It's like your pants are shoes.
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00:04:44,900 --> 00:04:46,506
And these are our clothes.
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Because we're great.
So, yeah, the end.
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00:04:48,678 --> 00:04:50,392
Thank you,
Tammy and Jocelyn.
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00:04:50,477 --> 00:04:52,681
That was...
an example of what happens
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00:04:52,766 --> 00:04:54,678
when I don't vet
your report topics.
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00:04:54,763 --> 00:04:56,970
Okay! Tina, Zeke,
let's hear your report
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00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:58,784
on Wagstaff's Amazing Alumni.
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00:04:58,869 --> 00:04:59,869
You ready?
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00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,522
Okay, let me know
when you're, uh,
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00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,532
at the end of that deep breath
and we'll start.
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00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:06,603
Ready.
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00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,243
Hey, Tina, when you look back
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00:05:08,328 --> 00:05:10,864
at 75 years of Wagstaff,
what do you see?
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00:05:10,949 --> 00:05:11,864
What do I see?
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00:05:11,949 --> 00:05:13,694
I Spy Amazing Alumni!
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- Nice.
- Thanks.
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00:05:15,214 --> 00:05:16,338
Hey, you know what, Zeke?
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00:05:16,423 --> 00:05:18,365
Let's talk about
those amazing alumni.
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00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,050
Alumn-I'd love to!
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00:05:20,135 --> 00:05:21,300
We're killing it.
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00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,102
Tina, you knocked it
out of the park.
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00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:25,451
Yeah, you didn't get all sweaty
like you usually do.
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It's true.
The report went pretty smoothly.
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00:05:27,375 --> 00:05:28,790
And this thing
only stabbed me once.
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00:05:28,875 --> 00:05:30,217
- Whoa.
- Is that a diamond?
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00:05:30,302 --> 00:05:31,828
Did you steal that
from a scepter?
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00:05:31,913 --> 00:05:32,993
Oh. No, it's a crystal.
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00:05:33,078 --> 00:05:34,221
Mr. Frond let me borrow it
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00:05:34,306 --> 00:05:35,816
'cause I was nervous
about our report.
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00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,323
The woman he's dating
gave it to him.
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00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:38,548
She said it brings
good energy.
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00:05:38,632 --> 00:05:41,451
- Good energy like a protein bar?
- Mm, no.
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00:05:41,536 --> 00:05:43,426
Tina, Zeke,
I'm supposed to select
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00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,803
some of the oral reports
to be given again tomorrow
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00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:47,412
at the Wagstaff
Anniversary assembly
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00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:49,181
and...
I'm choosing you guys.
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00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,980
- Oh, my God! - Do what?
- Yep.
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00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,542
And Tammy, Jocelyn,
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00:05:52,657 --> 00:05:54,662
since you two were
the only other people
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00:05:54,747 --> 00:05:55,834
who didn't just read from
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00:05:55,919 --> 00:05:57,511
the school website's
"about us" section,
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00:05:57,596 --> 00:06:00,197
you will also be presenting
your report at the assembly.
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00:06:00,282 --> 00:06:01,016
- Yeah.
- Wow.
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00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,074
I mean, yay!
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00:06:02,167 --> 00:06:02,980
What do you say, Tina?
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00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:04,615
You up for doing this
again tomorrow?
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00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,527
You can
do it if I'm with you, Tina.
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00:06:06,612 --> 00:06:07,777
Also, it might feel cool
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00:06:07,862 --> 00:06:09,443
if you press me
to your face right now.
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00:06:09,528 --> 00:06:11,582
Or do it later, maybe.
People might not get it.
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00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,751
Here's an oral report, Zeke...
Let's do it!
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00:06:13,836 --> 00:06:16,006
That's not really
a report, but yeah!
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00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:20,922
Tina, I'm so proud of you!
204
00:06:21,007 --> 00:06:23,542
My little lordy lordy,
look who's doing her report-y
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00:06:23,627 --> 00:06:24,912
in front of the whole school!
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00:06:24,997 --> 00:06:27,608
Yeah, you went from scaredy-cat
to She's All That.
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00:06:27,693 --> 00:06:31,317
So, Tina, you think a crystal
made you do well on your report?
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00:06:31,402 --> 00:06:33,238
I mean, I don't know
if I like your tone.
209
00:06:33,323 --> 00:06:36,043
But yes. Maybe.
I'm not sure.
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00:06:36,127 --> 00:06:37,974
I'm just saying, it could be
that you practiced a lot.
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00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:39,162
Like, over and over.
212
00:06:39,247 --> 00:06:40,881
Like, a few times, I thought
you were talking to me,
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00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,262
'cause you were staring
right at me
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00:06:42,346 --> 00:06:43,532
and I said "What, Tina?"
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00:06:43,617 --> 00:06:45,764
And you just kept talking
about alumni.
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00:06:45,849 --> 00:06:47,822
Look. All I can say is
before I got this crystal,
217
00:06:47,912 --> 00:06:49,814
I was the cooler,
and then yesterday I wasn't.
218
00:06:49,899 --> 00:06:51,140
I was the... furnace.
219
00:06:51,225 --> 00:06:53,140
- The Her-nace.
- Uh, Mom,
220
00:06:53,225 --> 00:06:54,235
is this dinner?
221
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,578
It's, like, all vegetables
222
00:06:55,663 --> 00:06:57,365
and I don't have
enough places to hide them.
223
00:06:57,449 --> 00:06:59,505
Well, your dad bought
a giant box of weird produce
224
00:06:59,590 --> 00:07:00,975
for the restaurant
and there's no way
225
00:07:01,059 --> 00:07:02,664
we're gonna be able
to use it all down there,
226
00:07:02,748 --> 00:07:03,832
so I brought some up here.
227
00:07:03,917 --> 00:07:05,083
And this is our life now.
228
00:07:05,168 --> 00:07:07,088
I smell a reality show.
229
00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:09,767
Hey, you kids want to take
these apples to school?
230
00:07:09,852 --> 00:07:10,849
Give 'em to your teachers?
231
00:07:10,934 --> 00:07:12,491
Are you sure that's an apple?
232
00:07:12,576 --> 00:07:14,234
It's fine. It's natural.
233
00:07:14,319 --> 00:07:16,008
That's how apples look
sometimes.
234
00:07:16,092 --> 00:07:17,479
It kinda looks like
Dad's butt.
235
00:07:17,564 --> 00:07:19,570
- But not as red.
- Oh, yeah. It does.
236
00:07:19,654 --> 00:07:20,654
Mm.
237
00:07:21,168 --> 00:07:22,553
Hey, Mr. Frond. So...
238
00:07:22,638 --> 00:07:24,564
- about this crystal you loaned me...
- Uh-huh...
239
00:07:24,733 --> 00:07:26,984
Um, is it okay if I keep it
for the assembly today?
240
00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:28,147
Uh, yeah, sure.
241
00:07:28,232 --> 00:07:29,807
Big things are happening,
Tina.
242
00:07:29,892 --> 00:07:32,099
I'm asking Cassie out
on a third date.
243
00:07:32,183 --> 00:07:32,991
What do you think of this?
244
00:07:33,076 --> 00:07:34,811
"Want to come over
for dinner tonight?
245
00:07:34,896 --> 00:07:36,303
"I make a mean casserole.
246
00:07:36,388 --> 00:07:38,635
"Or in your case,
a Cassie-role.
247
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,238
"LOL. I told you
I can be funny sometimes.
248
00:07:41,323 --> 00:07:43,142
Anyway,
this is Phillip Frond."
249
00:07:43,227 --> 00:07:44,505
Um... Perfect?
250
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:47,309
Great. Adding a heart,
heart, heart, heart,
251
00:07:47,394 --> 00:07:48,803
heart and send.
252
00:07:49,449 --> 00:07:50,548
You got this, Zeke.
253
00:07:50,633 --> 00:07:51,757
There's my partner!
254
00:07:51,842 --> 00:07:53,391
- Don't talk!
- What are you guys doing?
255
00:07:53,475 --> 00:07:54,979
Zeke is trying
to break his record
256
00:07:55,064 --> 00:07:57,439
for how long he can hold up
a pencil with his lip.
257
00:07:57,990 --> 00:07:58,866
You know, I never think
258
00:07:58,951 --> 00:07:59,976
school's gonna be interesting
259
00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:01,362
and then something
like this happens.
260
00:08:01,446 --> 00:08:03,364
Oh, my gosh, Zeke,
three more seconds.
261
00:08:03,449 --> 00:08:04,705
Two. One.
262
00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:05,783
New record!
263
00:08:05,868 --> 00:08:07,911
I'm the holding up a pencil
with my lip champ!
264
00:08:07,996 --> 00:08:09,672
I think you can quit school now.
265
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,787
Hey! I bet it was because
Tina was here.
266
00:08:11,872 --> 00:08:13,232
- With the crystal.
- Oh, yeah.
267
00:08:13,316 --> 00:08:15,557
Hey, Tina, can I borrow
the crystal for PE today?
268
00:08:15,642 --> 00:08:17,385
We're running hurdles and
I want to clear all of them.
269
00:08:17,469 --> 00:08:19,422
So I don't hit my penis
like last time.
270
00:08:19,507 --> 00:08:22,599
Uh... No.
Mr. Frond trusted me with it
271
00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:24,183
and I don't think
I should lend it out.
272
00:08:24,267 --> 00:08:25,469
Hey, I wasn't holding
the crystal
273
00:08:25,553 --> 00:08:27,036
when I broke
my lip pencil record.
274
00:08:27,121 --> 00:08:28,364
Tina was just
standing near me.
275
00:08:28,449 --> 00:08:29,720
Maybe if she's just there,
276
00:08:29,805 --> 00:08:31,067
you won't hit your poor penis.
277
00:08:31,152 --> 00:08:32,942
Oh, yeah.
Tina, could you do that?
278
00:08:33,027 --> 00:08:35,385
- Sure. I guess.
- Great, let's go.
279
00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:37,784
Huh. They think Tina
and her crystal have powers.
280
00:08:37,869 --> 00:08:39,932
That rock could make us
some paper.
281
00:08:40,017 --> 00:08:42,319
And maybe some money, too.
282
00:08:43,902 --> 00:08:46,619
Oh, sir! Don't forget
your free fruit or vegetable.
283
00:08:46,704 --> 00:08:48,658
- What?
- Yeah, one with every meal.
284
00:08:48,743 --> 00:08:49,935
- Take it!
- Oh...
285
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:51,661
I think I'm just gonna go?
286
00:08:51,746 --> 00:08:53,382
Sorry, Linda. His loss.
287
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:54,823
Yeah. You want it, Mort?
288
00:08:54,916 --> 00:08:55,684
Uh...
289
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,573
- Here's your burger, Teddy.
- Oh, thanks.
290
00:08:57,658 --> 00:08:59,169
Whoa. What's that?
What's happening?
291
00:08:59,303 --> 00:09:01,004
Uh, we're trying out
a new thing.
292
00:09:01,088 --> 00:09:03,135
A side salad is included
with your meal.
293
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:05,302
Eh, no thanks. It looks weird.
294
00:09:05,387 --> 00:09:07,094
It doesn't matter
what it looks like, Teddy.
295
00:09:07,178 --> 00:09:08,199
Close your eyes and eat it.
296
00:09:08,283 --> 00:09:09,459
Bob, I know what you're doing.
297
00:09:09,543 --> 00:09:11,444
You're trying to get rid of
your weird vegetables.
298
00:09:11,528 --> 00:09:12,859
I'm not a garbage disposal.
299
00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:15,479
You kind of are. You ate
that lemon rind that time.
300
00:09:15,564 --> 00:09:16,432
Oh, this again?
301
00:09:16,517 --> 00:09:18,218
You put a lemon wedge
on my plate.
302
00:09:18,303 --> 00:09:19,490
What do you think
a guy's gonna do?
303
00:09:19,574 --> 00:09:21,364
At least it was
a normal-looking lemon.
304
00:09:21,449 --> 00:09:22,541
Bob, let's face it.
305
00:09:22,626 --> 00:09:24,698
Even with the salads
and the free ugly food bowl,
306
00:09:24,783 --> 00:09:27,276
we're not gonna get through all
this stuff before it goes bad.
307
00:09:27,361 --> 00:09:28,863
I think we might have
to throw out the food
308
00:09:28,947 --> 00:09:30,367
we didn't want
anyone to throw out.
309
00:09:30,451 --> 00:09:32,389
- Don't say that!
- I mean, what are we supposed to do
310
00:09:32,473 --> 00:09:34,883
with this sad, old cucumber
that's at the end of its life?
311
00:09:34,968 --> 00:09:36,389
Oh, actually,
this one's going to Mort.
312
00:09:36,473 --> 00:09:37,883
Right. Yay.
313
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:38,908
Wait! That's it!
314
00:09:38,993 --> 00:09:41,802
I-I know what we can do!
We'll just do what Mort does.
315
00:09:41,887 --> 00:09:42,861
Eat real slow
316
00:09:42,946 --> 00:09:44,638
- and chew a million times?
- What?
317
00:09:44,723 --> 00:09:45,523
We pickle it.
318
00:09:45,608 --> 00:09:48,068
Ooh! Good idea, Bob!
319
00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:49,559
Why is that like what I do?
320
00:09:49,644 --> 00:09:51,053
You know, like embalming.
321
00:09:51,138 --> 00:09:53,214
That's not even really...
Okay, never mind.
322
00:09:53,299 --> 00:09:55,398
Ooh! All of the sudden
I'm feeling picklish!
323
00:09:55,483 --> 00:09:56,483
All right!
324
00:09:56,919 --> 00:09:58,698
Tina, my favorite sister...
325
00:09:58,783 --> 00:10:00,563
- Hey!
- And there's the crystal.
326
00:10:00,648 --> 00:10:01,537
Good, good.
327
00:10:01,622 --> 00:10:02,854
You know, I've been thinking.
328
00:10:02,939 --> 00:10:05,224
You and this crystal could
help a lot of people.
329
00:10:05,309 --> 00:10:06,665
And I feel like it's our duty
330
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:08,762
to find these people
and ask for a small fee
331
00:10:08,847 --> 00:10:10,500
in order for you to stand
next to them.
332
00:10:10,585 --> 00:10:11,712
- Uh...
- You love it.
333
00:10:11,797 --> 00:10:13,305
Anyway, here's Peter Pescadero.
334
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:15,241
And for the low,
low price of fifty cents,
335
00:10:15,326 --> 00:10:17,184
he'd like
some crystal Tina time.
336
00:10:17,269 --> 00:10:18,762
- Wait. What?
- I've been working on
337
00:10:18,847 --> 00:10:19,858
my breakdancing moves,
338
00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:21,767
but I still can't crack
the windmill.
339
00:10:21,852 --> 00:10:24,186
There's a crack in my windmill.
This guy.
340
00:10:24,271 --> 00:10:26,756
Could you just stand near me
while I practice for one second?
341
00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:28,018
Oh. I guess...
342
00:10:28,103 --> 00:10:30,194
But I can't promise anything
is going to happen.
343
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:31,704
You can do this, Peter.
344
00:10:31,789 --> 00:10:33,448
Windmill...!
345
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:36,306
He's doing it. I think.
346
00:10:36,391 --> 00:10:38,328
Okay, Rudy,
go ask Chloe your question.
347
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:40,787
I mean, I still think
she's a dumb shampoo bottle
348
00:10:40,871 --> 00:10:41,938
in the shape of a person.
349
00:10:42,022 --> 00:10:43,623
But you paid your money,
so have at it.
350
00:10:43,707 --> 00:10:45,299
Bring it home, Rudy.
351
00:10:45,526 --> 00:10:47,702
Hey, Chloe. How about you and I
be science partners today?
352
00:10:47,786 --> 00:10:51,001
Um, I was gonna be
Emmy Butler's partner today.
353
00:10:51,086 --> 00:10:52,460
- Oh.
- But then she got sick,
354
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:55,033
which is gross, so yeah.
Just for today.
355
00:10:55,118 --> 00:10:57,574
And maybe you do all
the experiments for both of us.
356
00:10:57,659 --> 00:10:59,908
'Cause I don't like wearing
the goggles. They hurt my hair.
357
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,295
- Yes!
- Barf.
358
00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:03,178
I can't believe I'm doing this.
359
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,324
Eh, what the heck?
360
00:11:04,409 --> 00:11:05,809
It's for online poker.
361
00:11:05,894 --> 00:11:07,329
I never go all in like this.
362
00:11:07,414 --> 00:11:09,297
But screw it, I like this hand.
363
00:11:09,382 --> 00:11:10,446
Is it a royal flush?
364
00:11:10,534 --> 00:11:11,972
That's the only poker hand
I know
365
00:11:12,057 --> 00:11:13,914
because it sounds like
a fancy poop.
366
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,664
Oh, my God, I won!
I won!
367
00:11:16,883 --> 00:11:19,012
You know, the right thing
to do is to give us half.
368
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:20,868
- No.
- We'll talk later.
369
00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:22,517
Today is the best day
370
00:11:22,602 --> 00:11:23,635
of this young man's life.
371
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,139
I finally got the corner piece
of the mac and cheese.
372
00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:27,762
- Crystal worked again, huh?
- Yup.
373
00:11:27,847 --> 00:11:29,668
Every other time I've asked,
Hildy said,
374
00:11:29,753 --> 00:11:31,788
"You get what you get
and you don't get upset."
375
00:11:31,872 --> 00:11:33,991
But this time,
Tina's crystal was there
376
00:11:34,076 --> 00:11:36,205
and now I'm
in the corner suite, baby!
377
00:11:36,290 --> 00:11:37,061
Well, eat up.
378
00:11:37,146 --> 00:11:39,148
We got some more crystal
customers booked after lunch.
379
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,487
Actually, I was thinking
380
00:11:40,572 --> 00:11:41,822
we should give
the crystal a rest.
381
00:11:41,906 --> 00:11:43,744
I'm not sure exactly
how it works,
382
00:11:43,829 --> 00:11:46,035
but, uh... maybe we should
save some of its powers
383
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,240
for me and the assembly?
384
00:11:47,325 --> 00:11:49,060
I mean, I don't know
how to recharge this thing.
385
00:11:49,144 --> 00:11:50,608
I bet Billy Crystal would know.
386
00:11:50,693 --> 00:11:51,764
Tina! There you are.
387
00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:54,723
Cassie said yes
to having Cassie-role with me.
388
00:11:54,808 --> 00:11:56,203
Also, she asked me
about the crystal
389
00:11:56,287 --> 00:11:57,621
and I said I was enjoying it
very much.
390
00:11:57,705 --> 00:12:00,540
So I will be needing it back
after you give your speech.
391
00:12:00,625 --> 00:12:01,395
Ah!
392
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:02,448
You okay, Jocelyn?
393
00:12:02,533 --> 00:12:05,619
I'm fine.
I tripped on my jean laces.
394
00:12:05,704 --> 00:12:08,509
So, Tina, as I was saying,
I'll need the crystal back.
395
00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:10,838
Okay, Mr. Frond. I'll give it
back to you after the assembly.
396
00:12:10,922 --> 00:12:12,697
And don't worry,
I'm taking good care of it.
397
00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:13,738
Oh, my God! It's gone!
398
00:12:13,823 --> 00:12:14,970
What do you mean, "it's gone"?
399
00:12:15,054 --> 00:12:16,683
It was right here
just a second ago!
400
00:12:16,768 --> 00:12:18,175
So was my mac and cheese!
401
00:12:18,260 --> 00:12:20,365
Oh, no. It's there.
Hi, you.
402
00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:25,161
Where's Cassie's crystal?
403
00:12:25,246 --> 00:12:27,284
Yeah, Tina!
Where's Cassie's crystal?
404
00:12:27,369 --> 00:12:29,120
It was right there!
On the table!
405
00:12:29,205 --> 00:12:31,203
Ugh. One of the alumni keeps
texting me.
406
00:12:31,288 --> 00:12:32,998
He wants to know
where to park his scooter.
407
00:12:33,083 --> 00:12:35,550
Tina, I need the crystal back
by the end of the day.
408
00:12:35,635 --> 00:12:38,050
Or else my Cassie-role
is grass.
409
00:12:38,135 --> 00:12:39,021
Oh, my God.
410
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,378
If we don't find it,
my Cassie-role is grass, too!
411
00:12:41,463 --> 00:12:42,616
I'll have to do
the report with Zeke
412
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,696
in front of the whole school
with no crystal!
413
00:12:44,781 --> 00:12:45,953
Someone must've stolen it.
414
00:12:46,038 --> 00:12:47,789
And during peak
crystal business hours.
415
00:12:47,874 --> 00:12:49,316
We gotta find this monster.
416
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:51,259
And we'll start
right after lunch.
417
00:12:51,352 --> 00:12:52,660
- Gene...
- Fine.
418
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,530
But the mac and cheese
is coming with us.
419
00:12:54,615 --> 00:12:57,314
♪ Crystal, crystal, crystal ♪
420
00:12:58,838 --> 00:13:02,240
♪ Who can pull
the missing crystal? ♪
421
00:13:02,357 --> 00:13:05,375
♪ Distracting just
to find the crystal ♪
422
00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:09,323
♪ Crystal, crystal,
crystal, crystal. ♪
423
00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:13,691
♪ We're pickling ♪
424
00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:16,712
♪ Just like
the cavemen used to do. ♪
425
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,060
Here are all the jars we have.
426
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,825
Oh, God.
That's a lot of smell.
427
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:21,745
- What smell?
- The vinegar. Ugh.
428
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:22,859
It's really strong.
429
00:13:22,944 --> 00:13:24,583
We might've pickled
our whole restaurant.
430
00:13:24,668 --> 00:13:25,984
Wh-Why can't I smell it?
431
00:13:26,077 --> 00:13:28,105
You're pickled. Go to the
basement and come back up.
432
00:13:28,189 --> 00:13:31,092
Okay...
Going down, going down.
433
00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,027
It's really dirty down here,
we should clean it.
434
00:13:33,111 --> 00:13:34,854
Turning around and...
Oh, God!
435
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:37,104
What have we done?
You did this to us!
436
00:13:37,189 --> 00:13:38,931
I'm sorry! I thought I did good!
437
00:13:39,015 --> 00:13:40,668
The produce is cursed, Bob!
438
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,047
No! They're just ugly!
439
00:13:42,132 --> 00:13:43,224
Same thing!
440
00:13:43,309 --> 00:13:44,637
This is going to destroy
441
00:13:44,722 --> 00:13:46,220
everything we built together.
442
00:13:46,340 --> 00:13:47,885
Wait, I can't smell it anymore.
443
00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:48,850
Yeah. Me, neither.
444
00:13:48,935 --> 00:13:50,610
- Should we keep pickling?
- Yeah, it's kinda fun.
445
00:13:50,694 --> 00:13:53,279
♪ Picklin', picklin'... ♪
446
00:13:53,363 --> 00:13:55,630
Uh, the assembly's
in one hour.
447
00:13:55,715 --> 00:13:57,277
We'll never find the crystal
before then.
448
00:13:57,361 --> 00:13:58,163
There it is!
449
00:13:58,248 --> 00:13:59,758
The crystal!
Tammy has it.
450
00:13:59,843 --> 00:14:01,103
What? No, I don't!
451
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,017
Wait a minute.
452
00:14:02,152 --> 00:14:04,229
You had Jocelyn
create a distraction
453
00:14:04,314 --> 00:14:07,286
in the cafeteria with her big,
dramatic fall, didn't you?
454
00:14:07,371 --> 00:14:09,889
No. You know Jocelyn's knees
don't bend right.
455
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,488
Give me back my crystal, Tammy!
456
00:14:11,573 --> 00:14:13,516
It's not your crystal, Tina.
457
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:16,010
It's Mr. Frond's.
You borrowed it from him.
458
00:14:16,127 --> 00:14:17,644
And maybe I borrowed it from you
459
00:14:17,729 --> 00:14:19,452
and I'm gonna give it
back to Mr. Frond
460
00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:20,645
when I am done with it.
461
00:14:20,730 --> 00:14:22,959
Because maybe I need
some crystal power.
462
00:14:23,043 --> 00:14:24,127
What are you talking about?
463
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:25,686
I found out that
one of the alumni
464
00:14:25,771 --> 00:14:26,910
who's coming to the assembly
465
00:14:26,995 --> 00:14:28,655
is the woman who owns
the boutique
466
00:14:28,740 --> 00:14:30,051
Mary Queen of Skorts.
467
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,665
Yeah, I know,
she was in my report.
468
00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:35,655
Yeah. And she's in
the fashion industry, Tina. Uh.
469
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:37,181
If she likes my presentation,
470
00:14:37,266 --> 00:14:38,640
she might take me
under her wing.
471
00:14:38,725 --> 00:14:40,785
I could be Anne Hathaway
to her Meryl Streep,
472
00:14:40,870 --> 00:14:42,457
but I'd be blonde,
which is even better.
473
00:14:42,542 --> 00:14:43,496
Oops, oops, oops, oops.
474
00:14:43,580 --> 00:14:44,954
Something's falling
out of my hands
475
00:14:45,039 --> 00:14:46,579
and into my locker
and it's closed.
476
00:14:48,506 --> 00:14:49,334
Now what do we do?
477
00:14:49,419 --> 00:14:50,521
I'll tell you
what we're gonna do.
478
00:14:50,605 --> 00:14:51,837
We're gonna go to class,
479
00:14:51,922 --> 00:14:53,041
get some bathroom passes,
480
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,723
and break into Tammy's locker.
481
00:14:54,808 --> 00:14:57,079
And then what?
Oh. Right. Get the crystal.
482
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,463
Glad you came back for
a second lunch, Teddy.
483
00:14:59,548 --> 00:15:02,010
Because now you get to try
the quick pickles.
484
00:15:02,095 --> 00:15:03,150
They should be ready.
485
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,357
Oh, what a surprise.
486
00:15:04,442 --> 00:15:06,984
Bob is trying to foist
his ugly vegetables on people.
487
00:15:07,069 --> 00:15:09,263
I'm ignoring that,
because they're pickles now.
488
00:15:09,347 --> 00:15:10,298
They're reborn.
489
00:15:10,383 --> 00:15:12,161
They're pretty
pickle butterflies.
490
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,405
And I won't smell
like this forever, right?
491
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,411
- Right?
- Pickled carrot, anyone?
492
00:15:16,496 --> 00:15:18,593
- Ah, no thanks.
- I'll try it.
493
00:15:18,678 --> 00:15:21,332
Mmm. You can't even taste
how mangled it looked.
494
00:15:21,417 --> 00:15:22,744
Pickled cauliflower?
495
00:15:22,829 --> 00:15:24,020
I think that's a strawberry.
496
00:15:24,105 --> 00:15:25,583
Oh, my God, I think
that is a strawberry.
497
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,806
- Teddy?
- Eh... Nah, I'm gonna pass.
498
00:15:27,891 --> 00:15:30,103
You know what, Teddy?
These pickles aren't for you.
499
00:15:30,188 --> 00:15:32,265
They're for people who don't
want to waste food
500
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,353
and want to make
the world a better place.
501
00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:36,999
That strawberry doesn't want to
make the world a better place.
502
00:15:37,084 --> 00:15:38,541
It's frowning.
It looks mean.
503
00:15:38,626 --> 00:15:39,947
I'm not mean, Teddy,
504
00:15:40,032 --> 00:15:41,484
I'm a nice strawberry.
505
00:15:41,569 --> 00:15:43,364
Ah! Stop it!
506
00:15:43,449 --> 00:15:44,239
Sorry I'm late.
507
00:15:44,324 --> 00:15:45,355
I got my bathroom pass
508
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,901
and then I actually had
to go to the bathroom.
509
00:15:46,985 --> 00:15:47,817
How's it going here?
510
00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:49,609
I mean, I don't feel
totally great
511
00:15:49,694 --> 00:15:51,030
about lying
to get out of class.
512
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:52,490
And if we don't
get the crystal,
513
00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:54,453
I'm probably gonna have
a super sweaty, phlegmy meltdown
514
00:15:54,537 --> 00:15:55,309
in front of the whole school.
515
00:15:55,393 --> 00:15:57,030
And Mr. Frond's gonna hate me.
516
00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:58,801
- But other than that, fine.
- Great!
517
00:15:58,886 --> 00:16:01,155
Ugh! Everything
at this school is lousy
518
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,952
except for
these weirdly amazing,
519
00:16:03,037 --> 00:16:04,921
hard-to-break-into lockers.
520
00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,978
This is embarrassing...
Ooh! I got it!
521
00:16:07,063 --> 00:16:07,754
Yes!
522
00:16:07,981 --> 00:16:09,007
- Ah!
- Ah!
523
00:16:09,091 --> 00:16:11,239
You guys are stealing
the crystal from me!
524
00:16:11,324 --> 00:16:12,452
You stole it from me!
525
00:16:12,537 --> 00:16:14,379
What does that have to do
with anything?
526
00:16:14,464 --> 00:16:15,738
Let go!
527
00:16:16,966 --> 00:16:19,026
- Oh, no! - Oh!
- Oh, my God.
528
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,850
Uh... You know what, Tina?
529
00:16:20,935 --> 00:16:22,623
Uh, you can have it.
530
00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:23,837
See you at the assembly.
531
00:16:23,921 --> 00:16:25,318
Ugh, damn it, Tammy!
532
00:16:26,161 --> 00:16:27,838
The crystal! It's dead!
533
00:16:28,547 --> 00:16:29,579
Unless it's
one of those crystals
534
00:16:29,663 --> 00:16:31,114
that crawls back together?
535
00:16:31,286 --> 00:16:32,967
- Nope.
- Tina, there you are.
536
00:16:33,052 --> 00:16:34,557
Please tell me you found the...
537
00:16:35,057 --> 00:16:36,479
I'm so sorry.
538
00:16:37,608 --> 00:16:39,295
I hear they're doing
great things
539
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:40,453
with glue these days.
540
00:16:41,355 --> 00:16:42,443
Let's go.
541
00:16:48,036 --> 00:16:49,456
There's Mary Queen of Skorts.
542
00:16:49,541 --> 00:16:51,326
Should I wave? Hey!
543
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:53,570
Okay, she didn't wave back
or look in my direction,
544
00:16:53,655 --> 00:16:56,217
but I think she saw me and
was like, "Who's that girl?"
545
00:16:56,302 --> 00:16:58,649
Hey, Tina, you okay?
'Cause you seem kind of nervous.
546
00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,237
And you're perspiring... a lot.
547
00:17:00,322 --> 00:17:01,305
What?
548
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:02,826
Don't worry, we'll be all right.
549
00:17:02,911 --> 00:17:03,649
You got the crystal.
550
00:17:03,734 --> 00:17:06,795
Um, yeah, so...
actually, I don't.
551
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:07,920
Because Tammy stole it
552
00:17:08,005 --> 00:17:09,369
and then we got in a fight
and broke it.
553
00:17:09,453 --> 00:17:10,607
Ugh! Get over it, Tina.
554
00:17:10,692 --> 00:17:11,951
That was like ten minutes ago.
555
00:17:12,036 --> 00:17:13,732
Hold up. You don't have
the crystal, Tina?
556
00:17:13,817 --> 00:17:15,138
- No.
- Oh, boy.
557
00:17:15,223 --> 00:17:17,758
Now I'm sweatin'. Right across
my little, tiny mustache.
558
00:17:17,895 --> 00:17:18,748
It's there.
559
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:21,383
Thank you, fifth grade,
for that somber rendition
560
00:17:21,468 --> 00:17:24,487
of Matchbox Twenty's
"How Far We've Come."
561
00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:27,034
Kazoos have never sounded
so haunting.
562
00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:28,868
So... Wagstaff.
563
00:17:28,953 --> 00:17:30,435
75 years, huh?
564
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,305
What a rich, wonderful past
this school has had.
565
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,769
But, eventually,
everything is broken.
566
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,045
And dreams die.
567
00:17:37,130 --> 00:17:38,946
- He's taking it well.
- Mm-hmm.
568
00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:40,608
That's it for this jar.
569
00:17:40,699 --> 00:17:42,332
- Served all the pickles.
- Great.
570
00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:44,952
So we'll just keep doing
our part, being good people
571
00:17:45,037 --> 00:17:47,122
and getting a box
of ugly produce every week.
572
00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:49,041
- I love it.
- Yeah... yeah.
573
00:17:49,126 --> 00:17:50,590
What? What's with the face?
574
00:17:50,675 --> 00:17:52,368
You look like someone peed
in your pickle jar.
575
00:17:52,452 --> 00:17:55,588
It's just... I mean,
all of this was so much work.
576
00:17:55,673 --> 00:17:57,511
And everything smells.
577
00:17:57,596 --> 00:17:59,429
- Including you.
- No!
578
00:17:59,514 --> 00:18:01,802
It's true, Lin.
You do. You both do.
579
00:18:01,887 --> 00:18:03,813
Should we...
never do this again?
580
00:18:03,898 --> 00:18:04,957
- Oh, thank God!
- Oh, thank God!
581
00:18:05,041 --> 00:18:06,113
I was only doing this
582
00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:07,973
because I thought
you really wanted to.
583
00:18:08,058 --> 00:18:08,729
I did.
584
00:18:08,814 --> 00:18:11,404
- But now I really, really don't.
- Yeah.
585
00:18:11,489 --> 00:18:13,656
At least we saved
all these sweet ugly babies
586
00:18:13,741 --> 00:18:15,176
from going to the dumpster.
587
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,984
We're gonna get
into heaven now, right?
588
00:18:17,069 --> 00:18:18,468
- Yeah.
- I want to go to heaven,
589
00:18:18,553 --> 00:18:19,478
but not like that.
590
00:18:19,563 --> 00:18:20,563
Not like that.
591
00:18:20,755 --> 00:18:22,922
And we all die
alone.
592
00:18:23,091 --> 00:18:26,097
And now, I'd like to bring up
eighth graders Tina and Zeke
593
00:18:26,182 --> 00:18:27,781
to give their report
entitled
594
00:18:27,866 --> 00:18:29,807
"I Spy Amazing Alumni."
595
00:18:30,066 --> 00:18:31,173
Oh, God.
596
00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:35,260
Hey, Tina, when you look back
at 75 years of Wagstaff...
597
00:18:35,345 --> 00:18:36,758
- What do I see?
- Okay...
598
00:18:36,843 --> 00:18:39,073
I Spy Amazing Alumni!
599
00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:40,505
Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha.
600
00:18:40,590 --> 00:18:41,994
- Oh, no.
- Uh-oh.
601
00:18:42,079 --> 00:18:43,177
Let's talk about those
602
00:18:43,272 --> 00:18:44,869
amazing alu...
603
00:18:45,915 --> 00:18:47,172
Sorry. Little phlegm.
604
00:18:47,266 --> 00:18:49,017
Um, anyway, ever heard of
605
00:18:49,101 --> 00:18:50,941
Mary Queen of Skorts?
Oh, wait.
606
00:18:51,026 --> 00:18:52,944
- That was your part, Zeke.
- Um... Uh...
607
00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:55,007
Oh, now it's me.
608
00:18:55,213 --> 00:18:57,117
She's skort of a big...
609
00:18:57,238 --> 00:18:57,862
deal.
610
00:18:57,947 --> 00:18:59,930
- Oh, boy.
- I'm sorry.
611
00:19:00,015 --> 00:19:01,037
I'm sorry, everyone.
612
00:19:01,122 --> 00:19:02,510
I'm not great
at oral reports,
613
00:19:02,595 --> 00:19:03,682
and when I have a partner,
614
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,036
that makes me
even more nervous.
615
00:19:05,121 --> 00:19:06,161
I sweat like crazy.
616
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,692
And I get weird phlegm
in my mouth.
617
00:19:08,443 --> 00:19:10,041
It's like a spit smoothie
in there.
618
00:19:10,126 --> 00:19:12,282
And I'm extra nervous because
I don't have the crystal.
619
00:19:12,366 --> 00:19:14,026
That's a whole other thing.
I had a crystal.
620
00:19:14,110 --> 00:19:16,302
It might have had magic powers.
I don't know.
621
00:19:16,387 --> 00:19:17,130
Uh...
622
00:19:17,215 --> 00:19:18,740
- Are we still doing our report?
- Anyway,
623
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,020
maybe I should just accept
that I get nervous.
624
00:19:21,105 --> 00:19:22,539
And maybe that's okay.
625
00:19:22,624 --> 00:19:24,792
Uh, I mean, why try not to be
nervous when I definitely am?
626
00:19:24,876 --> 00:19:26,127
I mean,
look at this pit sweat.
627
00:19:26,212 --> 00:19:28,696
Anyone need me to put out
a small fire?
628
00:19:30,343 --> 00:19:32,384
Feels good
to say it all out loud.
629
00:19:32,478 --> 00:19:33,296
So, anyway...
630
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,119
Oops! I'm getting
the "wrap it up" signal.
631
00:19:35,204 --> 00:19:37,282
Or that kid just really wants me
to look at her watch.
632
00:19:37,366 --> 00:19:38,635
Uh... Thank you!
633
00:19:40,092 --> 00:19:42,974
Well, didn't really get to talk
about the Wagstaff alumni
634
00:19:43,068 --> 00:19:44,973
or, uh... just about anything
in our report.
635
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:45,697
But I tell ya...
636
00:19:45,782 --> 00:19:46,928
It was a pretty nice
little speech.
637
00:19:47,012 --> 00:19:48,135
Good job, partner.
638
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,390
And you made being sweaty
and nervous kind of cool.
639
00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:52,922
Thanks.
I'm gonna go get some water.
640
00:19:53,073 --> 00:19:53,869
Good idea.
641
00:19:53,954 --> 00:19:55,463
You sound like
phlegm-ageddon, girl!
642
00:19:55,621 --> 00:19:58,027
Next up: Eighth graders
Tammy and Jocelyn
643
00:19:58,112 --> 00:19:58,942
with their report on
644
00:19:59,027 --> 00:20:00,942
Wagstaff fashions
past and present.
645
00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:02,161
Sorry. Sorry.
646
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:03,758
Wait! Where is she going?
647
00:20:03,843 --> 00:20:05,307
She's gonna miss
our speech.
648
00:20:05,392 --> 00:20:06,964
- Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
- Now she's never gonna take me
649
00:20:07,048 --> 00:20:09,677
to Paris Skort
Fashion Week with her.
650
00:20:10,114 --> 00:20:11,775
Tina, I liked your speech.
651
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:13,918
I mean, it was very awkward.
652
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,941
- So awkward...
- Thank you?
653
00:20:16,034 --> 00:20:17,343
And in a way,
654
00:20:17,428 --> 00:20:19,179
your speech gave me
the push I needed
655
00:20:19,264 --> 00:20:22,206
to leave Cassie a long and
very emotional voice mail
656
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:23,187
about her crystal.
657
00:20:23,272 --> 00:20:24,338
And she just texted me
658
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,703
that she believes crystals
don't really "break."
659
00:20:26,791 --> 00:20:28,773
She says the energy just
"spreads out."
660
00:20:28,868 --> 00:20:30,828
Really? Phew!
661
00:20:30,913 --> 00:20:33,633
She's very wise,
like a pretty owl.
662
00:20:33,718 --> 00:20:36,034
And she still wants
to come over for Cassie-role.
663
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:37,596
- Oh, good.
- Ooh, I should go.
664
00:20:37,681 --> 00:20:39,422
I need to get all the cat hair
off the furniture
665
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:40,580
before Cassie comes.
666
00:20:40,794 --> 00:20:41,994
Great speech, T.
667
00:20:42,079 --> 00:20:44,171
At one point I think you sprayed
some of your mouth phlegm
668
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:46,326
onto your armpit sweat.
That was magical.
669
00:20:46,457 --> 00:20:49,120
- Thanks.
- Well, I got about $3.50
670
00:20:49,205 --> 00:20:50,606
of crystal money
in my pocket.
671
00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:52,852
Is that enough to buy me
a new shirt on the way home?
672
00:20:52,937 --> 00:20:53,744
Probably not.
673
00:20:53,829 --> 00:20:55,500
But maybe
a medium frozen yogurt?
674
00:20:55,585 --> 00:20:56,609
- Three spoons?
- Deal.
675
00:20:56,694 --> 00:20:57,764
You can make it two spoons.
676
00:20:57,848 --> 00:20:58,796
I like to use my hands.
677
00:20:58,881 --> 00:20:59,800
- Nope. Nope.
- Nope. Nope.
678
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:02,125
♪ Crystal power ♪
679
00:21:03,675 --> 00:21:06,302
♪ Crystal power
680
00:21:07,364 --> 00:21:10,484
♪ Crystal power
681
00:21:11,557 --> 00:21:14,041
♪ Crystal power
682
00:21:15,921 --> 00:21:17,736
♪ When you and your partner
have an oral report ♪
683
00:21:17,820 --> 00:21:19,680
♪ And you're feeling really
out of sorts ♪
684
00:21:19,765 --> 00:21:21,910
♪ Maybe get yourself
a nice crystal, it'll ♪
685
00:21:21,995 --> 00:21:23,438
♪ Only stab you a little ♪
686
00:21:23,523 --> 00:21:26,032
♪ Crystal power ♪
687
00:21:27,243 --> 00:21:29,727
♪ Crystal power
688
00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:32,671
♪ Crystal power.
689
00:21:32,756 --> 00:21:33,528
Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT
690
00:21:33,613 --> 00:21:34,288
and TOYOTA.
691
00:21:34,372 --> 00:21:35,796
Sync corrections by srjanapala
50702
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