Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:05,782
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:09,786
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,254
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:15,146
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:20,263
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,287 --> 00:00:24,668
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:29,039
♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,741
♪ And the card
attached would say
9
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:37,102
♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,372
Why do these things
always happen to me?
11
00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:06,042
I'm just a wreck. I don't
know what I'm going to do!
12
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,911
Blanche, we go through
this every morning.
13
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,402
Now, admit it,
you have cellulite.
14
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:16,887
I am not talking about
cellulite... which I don't have.
15
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:19,656
I am talking about my daughter,
Janet. I just got off the phone with her.
16
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,026
She's having marital troubles.
Oh, Blanche, I'm so sorry.
17
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,761
But they've decided to
try and work things out,
18
00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:26,963
so they're going to Hawaii
for a second honeymoon.
19
00:01:26,987 --> 00:01:30,433
Well, sounds like they're trying
to work it out. Why are you upset?
20
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:33,904
Don't you listen?
She has cellulite.
21
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:35,939
Those are dimples.
22
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:39,297
Dimples are on these cheeks! Ma!
23
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,916
I am upset because, while
they're in Hawaii for two weeks,
24
00:01:45,940 --> 00:01:48,685
they're leaving my
14-year-old grandson with me!
25
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:52,255
Oh, Blanche, that's
wonderful news!
26
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,257
Why, you shouldn't be upset.
27
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,993
No, I should be upset.
28
00:01:57,017 --> 00:01:59,328
How am I supposed to
study for my French final
29
00:01:59,352 --> 00:02:01,397
with a 14-year-old in the house?
30
00:02:01,421 --> 00:02:04,467
It's hard enough
with an 80-year-old!
31
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,669
Are you referring to
me? Of course not, Ma.
32
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:11,540
I'm referring to Cary Grant.
He's living in the broom closet.
33
00:02:11,564 --> 00:02:15,511
Hey, it's Blanche's
grandson. We do for family.
34
00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:18,414
You're right, Ma. You're
right. I'm just being selfish.
35
00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:21,517
Oh, it probably won't be
too bad. No, I suppose not.
36
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,520
But whatever will we do
with him for two weeks?
37
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,088
There are plenty of
things to do down here.
38
00:02:26,112 --> 00:02:29,659
We can take him to Disney
World, the Seaquarium,
39
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:34,030
the Everglades, Rambo... Rambo?
40
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:37,033
The movie with Sly Stallone.
41
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:38,968
I sat through it
twice. You'll love it!
42
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,360
He sweats like a pig and
he doesn't put his shirt on!
43
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,346
It's not gonna work.
I'm not sharing my room.
44
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,816
Oh, Ma, Ma, I'm not thrilled
with the arrangement, either.
45
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,519
But for the two weeks that
David is here, we'll make do.
46
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,321
Sure, it's easy for you.
I'm not the one who snores.
47
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:02,158
I do not snore.
48
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,460
Please! I'll bet less
disgusting noises
49
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:06,517
come out of Ernest Borgnine!
50
00:03:09,155 --> 00:03:11,300
I just fixed a special
treat for David.
51
00:03:11,324 --> 00:03:14,336
It's the same little after-school
snack I used to make for my own son...
52
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,338
A triple-decker BLT
53
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,708
and a hearty helping of
homemade potato salad,
54
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:21,177
and a great big slice of
double chocolate fudge cake.
55
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:25,181
Oh, where was he going
after school, the electric chair?
56
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,349
Oh, girls!
57
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,285
What's the matter?
Where's David?
58
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,688
I don't know where he
is. He wasn't on the plane.
59
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,156
Come on, Dorothy. I'll help you
move your things back to your room.
60
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,492
Oh, Ma. Please!
61
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:39,261
Come on, Blanche. Now,
calm down. Calm down.
62
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:42,164
He probably missed the
plane. It can happen to anyone.
63
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:45,401
I missed a plane
once... and a train...
64
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:48,805
Rose, you miss a lot of things.
65
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:52,075
He got on the plane, all
right. I checked with the airline.
66
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,877
Well, you probably just
missed each other at the airport.
67
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,646
Dorothy, I was
standing there at the gate
68
00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,015
from the moment the
first passenger got off.
69
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:01,851
I paged him. I checked with
airport security. I called the police.
70
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:04,242
Oh.
71
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,826
David, oh, David! Grandma!
72
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,394
Is this your kid? Honey,
what happened to you?
73
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:14,664
It wasn't my fault, I promise.
74
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,867
He stowed away in the airplane
lavatory when they landed in Miami
75
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:21,537
and the authorities picked him
up in the duty-free shop in Freeport.
76
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:23,572
You went to the Bahamas?
77
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,308
I went to the bathroom!
The next thing I know,
78
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,678
I'm in the Bahamas. And
I figured while I was there,
79
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:31,881
I'd buy some perfume for you and
your friends in the duty-free shop.
80
00:04:31,905 --> 00:04:34,450
David. I'd keep an
eye on this one, lady.
81
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,053
Oh, I don't know how
to thank you, officer,
82
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:39,255
but I would like to try.
83
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,491
I'm usually at Wally's for
happy hour on Tuesdays.
84
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:44,627
Blanche!
85
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,697
Ma'am.
86
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:50,667
Bye.
87
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,836
David. I ought to give
you a good talking-to,
88
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:57,273
but I'm just so glad you're all right, I'm
willing to overlook this little incident.
89
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,275
Now, come on, I want
you to meet my friends.
90
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,610
Hello, David. I'm Dorothy.
91
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:04,213
This is Rose. Hello, David.
92
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,683
Hey, what's happening?
This is Sophia.
93
00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,251
Oh, we've just been
so anxious to meet you!
94
00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:12,288
Yeah, I'll believe that if you
believe the Bahamas story.
95
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,158
You know, David, I went
to the Bahamas once.
96
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:20,296
Oh, yeah? Was it on the Niña,
the Pinta, or the Santa Maria?
97
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:25,702
It was a DC-10. I don't
think it had a name.
98
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,904
Yeah, that's very funny, Rose.
99
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,906
Yeah, I'm gonna
grab a bite to eat.
100
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,841
I passed this burger
joint around the corner.
101
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,375
Looked like there might
be some kids there.
102
00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:36,112
Oh, but David, wait a
minute. You just got here.
103
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,147
Oh, I'd really
prefer you to stay.
104
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,249
I planned a special
meal for you, David.
105
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:43,219
Tomorrow. I love leftovers.
106
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:47,023
Well, what time will you
be back? Hard to say.
107
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:50,159
It depends how late the guys
from Miami Vice want to party.
108
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,894
Later!
109
00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:54,330
Well, I don't believe that!
110
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,088
But then, what can I
expect? His father's a Yankee.
111
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:00,636
I guess I really should
have given him some money.
112
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,872
You should have
given him a smack. Ma.
113
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,941
I don't believe
in hitting children.
114
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:10,747
Personally, I like to lay
into a kid with a melon baller.
115
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:13,515
It's got a nice weight,
good balance in the hand,
116
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:16,185
and it's portable.
117
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:20,322
My father used to punish us by
sending us to the dairy barn to milk Alice.
118
00:06:20,346 --> 00:06:22,992
Well, what's so
terrible about that?
119
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,527
You had to milk
Alice sitting on a stool.
120
00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:28,664
I thought you always milked
a cow sitting on a stool.
121
00:06:28,688 --> 00:06:31,923
No, no. Alice had
to sit on a stool.
122
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:39,063
You see, she was involved
in this nasty plowing accident.
123
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,045
It was during spring planting
124
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,681
and Daddy had hitched
her up to the plow
125
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:49,152
'cause poor old Toby had
gotten a fever and gone deaf.
126
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,187
Rose, Rose, Rose...
127
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,222
Sweetheart, save the story.
128
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,958
When David comes back, tell him.
129
00:06:55,982 --> 00:06:59,450
That can be his punishment.
130
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,392
Ma, what are you doing?
131
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:32,061
Living. Pardonnez-moi.
132
00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:35,097
I just can't study
with the noise!
133
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:37,534
Fine. I'll stop breathing.
134
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,136
Look, I haven't studied
since David arrived.
135
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,293
My test is...
136
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:51,313
My test is in two weeks
and I do not want to blow it.
137
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:54,450
You'll pass, you'll pass. I
don't want to pass. I want an A.
138
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,753
You're the same as you
were in grade school... A's.
139
00:07:56,777 --> 00:07:58,521
You always had to get an A.
140
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:02,091
Your brother thought a book was
to sit on. You always had to get an A.
141
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,793
Good night. Good night, Mom.
142
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,218
If I breathe and it bothers
you, put a pillow over my face.
143
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,877
How could I sleep
with that racket?
144
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,912
What racket? Your pencil.
145
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,114
My pencil? You're
pressing too hard.
146
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,617
It's making me crazy!
147
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,574
I give up.
148
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:39,762
Look at me. What?
149
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,965
You're getting a
cold. No, I'm not.
150
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,967
Yes, you are. Tomorrow,
you'll have a cold.
151
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,704
What is this, the
curse of the catwoman?
152
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,039
I'm a mother. I
know these things.
153
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,097
Good night, Ma. Good night.
154
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:07,657
What's that smell?
155
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,959
I don't smell anything.
156
00:09:09,983 --> 00:09:12,161
Are you wearing something?
157
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,625
A little BenGay on my knees.
158
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,036
A little Vicks on my chest.
159
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,774
A little Deep Heat on my neck.
160
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:30,146
What are you trying to do, pickle
yourself so you'll live to be 100?
161
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:32,715
Fine, I'll wipe it off. Tomorrow,
I'll be in a wheelchair.
162
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:35,240
Good night, Ma. Good night.
163
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,368
Keep it up, I'll
need a Dramamine.
164
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,503
I'm trying to get comfortable.
165
00:09:53,527 --> 00:09:57,106
Not me. You get too
comfortable, you don't wake up!
166
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,464
Good night, Ma. Good night.
167
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,624
Ma. What?
168
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:19,262
That noise. What noise?
169
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,764
The noise you're making
with your nose and throat.
170
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,299
I got a postnasal drip.
171
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:27,036
What would you like me
to do, drown in phlegm?
172
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,394
Good night, Ma. Good night.
173
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:38,281
You know, we haven't slept
together since I was a little girl.
174
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:41,650
Thank God.
175
00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:45,854
I used to get into your bed whenever
I had that dream about the bear.
176
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:49,691
Yeah... the bear dream.
177
00:10:49,715 --> 00:10:52,194
I hated that dream.
178
00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,485
A bear is eating
you. What's to love?
179
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:58,701
You were so cute.
180
00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:01,771
You were always so
polite when you woke me.
181
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:05,808
"Mommy, I'm having a bad dream.
182
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,644
Could I come in?"
183
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,013
I felt so safe with you.
184
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:14,083
Listen, I felt safe with
you when you were three.
185
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:18,621
And you always used to smell
from Midnight in Paris perfume.
186
00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:21,758
Better than this, huh?
187
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,926
It sure was nice.
188
00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:26,629
It still is.
189
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:30,121
Good night, Ma.
Good night, pussycat.
190
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,141
What in the world
is going on here?
191
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:56,225
David, I said, what in the
world is going on here?
192
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,227
I thought you were in bed!
193
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:00,596
I couldn't sleep, so I
went out and got a pizza.
194
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,965
Made a few friends and
we decided to have a party.
195
00:12:02,989 --> 00:12:05,267
David, this is an inconvenience.
196
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:07,336
I mean, it is 2:00
in the morning.
197
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,193
Now please, ask your fr...
198
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,710
friends to leave.
199
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,180
Come on, girls.
Relax, loosen up!
200
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:21,750
Hey, life's too short.
Especially for you guys.
201
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:24,509
David! I'll get
the melon baller.
202
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,591
Take it easy, ladies.
203
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:30,893
Don't get your
support hose in a knot.
204
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,062
That does it! The party is over!
205
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:36,098
Everybody out, out!
206
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:37,933
Not you. Out!
207
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:40,335
It's really been lovely.
And if anything is missing,
208
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:43,260
I will give your names
to every narc in this city.
209
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,509
Oh!
210
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:49,612
David, clean up this
mess, then go to bed.
211
00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:52,347
Hey, why don't you clean
up the mess yourself?
212
00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:55,250
I mean, what's the big deal?
We were just having some fun.
213
00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:58,754
You know that those happen to
be my friends you just threw out?
214
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,723
You know, this really stinks.
215
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,058
What am I supposed to
do for the next two weeks,
216
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:05,293
just sit around and listen
to your arteries harden?
217
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,930
You stop that!
218
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:11,299
You know something? I am having
a real problem with your attitude!
219
00:13:11,323 --> 00:13:15,571
Oh, really? Well, you
can all just kiss my attitude!
220
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:17,528
Ma.
221
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,874
Well, you wouldn't let me get
the melon baller, so I improvised.
222
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,652
Is that all you Italians know
how to do, scream and hit?
223
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:33,778
No, we also know how to
make love and sing opera.
224
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,432
Mom, you had
no right to hit him.
225
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:47,335
Oh, Blanche, I'm so sorry.
She should not have done that.
226
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,337
Well, I have to
go talk to David.
227
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:51,495
I feel just awful about this.
228
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:58,981
This is like The Long
Day's Journey Into Light.
229
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:02,039
"Night," Rose. Night, Dorothy.
230
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:13,695
David, are you all right?
231
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,132
Yeah, I'm fine.
232
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:18,636
It's just that nobody
ever hit me before.
233
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,806
I think I should go home.
Oh, honey, you can't go home.
234
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:28,411
There's nobody there to
take care of you. That's OK.
235
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:32,848
I'd rather be there, alone,
than trapped here with you.
236
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,785
Besides, I can
take care of myself.
237
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,522
I've been doing it long enough.
238
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,757
What do you mean?
239
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:45,727
All Mom and Dad ever do is
fight. They don't even know I exist.
240
00:14:45,751 --> 00:14:48,597
Have you tried telling
them how you feel?
241
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,188
They wouldn't listen.
242
00:14:52,459 --> 00:14:54,136
I'm listening.
243
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,905
Yeah, only because they dumped
me on you and you feel you have to.
244
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,774
No, David. Well,
you don't have to!
245
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,731
Just leave me alone!
246
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:17,326
"Trim the hedges, mow the
lawn, paint the patio furniture,
247
00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:20,796
wash the windows, clean out
the garage, scrub the denture cup."
248
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:24,388
I added that. I hate doing it.
249
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,770
This is too much. I
can't ask him to do this.
250
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:29,037
Of course you can.
251
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:31,573
Idle hands are the
devil's workshop.
252
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:35,177
God, I wish I'd said that.
253
00:15:35,201 --> 00:15:38,347
I don't see how doing all these
chores is gonna make him feel loved.
254
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:41,550
Look, Blanche, the one
thing that David has never had
255
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,752
in his life is structure.
256
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,422
Now, doing chores will
give him a little responsibility.
257
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:48,924
He might even start
feeling good about himself.
258
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,660
And start hating me if
I ask him to do all this!
259
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:54,730
Now, listen, Blanche, you
do what is best for David,
260
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:57,165
not what is easiest for you.
261
00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,536
Yeah, we had
chores on the farm...
262
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,538
boys and girls.
263
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:05,273
And when we finished, we had
such a feeling of accomplishment.
264
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:09,010
We had to feed the chickens,
slop the hogs, muck the stalls.
265
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:12,013
Please, I'm trying to eat here!
266
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:14,015
And after I finished
all that, I still had to
267
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,353
take care of Larry,
my one-eyed pig.
268
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:21,245
What did you people do, run a
farm for handicapped animals?
269
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:28,263
But you grew up in the
country. David's a city boy.
270
00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:29,965
Oh, wait now, Blanche, come on.
271
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:33,068
I'm from New York. I did chores.
272
00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:35,270
I made the beds, I
washed the dishes,
273
00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:37,840
scoured the pots,
cleaned the bathroom,
274
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:39,941
folded the laundry,
took out the garbage.
275
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:43,111
My, my. Did you
attend a military school?
276
00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:46,548
No, she lived with me.
277
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,752
Did they have chores in
Sicily? Are you kidding?
278
00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:52,488
They invented chores in Sicily.
279
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,179
Crossing the street without getting
pregnant was a chore in Sicily.
280
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:04,400
Rose, never
mention Sicily. Oh...
281
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:07,803
Well, I guess when I was
little, I didn't have to do anything.
282
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,138
And I raised my
daughter the same way.
283
00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:12,841
So that's why David is the
way he is now, so it's all my fault!
284
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:16,244
Oh, now, Blanche. You
can't blame yourself for David.
285
00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:19,948
You're right. It's
my mother's fault.
286
00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,550
I am gonna give
this list to David
287
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:24,520
and see that he
starts right away.
288
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:27,088
How is it possible to
get pregnant in Sicily
289
00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:29,212
just by crossing the street?
290
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:37,187
Cheap Chianti and
narrow streets. Ohh...
291
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:55,506
If you wait a couple of minutes,
I'll make you some sandwiches.
292
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,357
Where you going? I don't know.
293
00:18:02,381 --> 00:18:05,728
How you getting
there? I'll take a bus.
294
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:09,532
I see. And when the bus
gets to you-don't-know-where,
295
00:18:09,556 --> 00:18:12,200
what will you do
then? Get a job.
296
00:18:12,224 --> 00:18:13,669
Really? Yeah.
297
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:17,139
As what, Secretary of State?
298
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:20,676
I gotta go. So you're
just gonna wimp out, huh?
299
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,945
I'm not wimping out.
Well, what do you call this?
300
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:25,915
Why should I stay here when
I got all this crappy stuff to do?
301
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,917
And no one likes me anyway.
302
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:32,121
You know, first of all, buddy
boy, life is full of crappy stuff to do.
303
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:34,623
It's everywhere, so
you better get used to it.
304
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,526
The President has
crappy stuff to do.
305
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:41,730
Second of all, your
grandmother happens to like you.
306
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:43,732
My mother likes you.
307
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:47,636
She doesn't hit anyone unless
she really cares. Take it from me.
308
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:50,439
And I happen to like you.
309
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,909
My life stinks. I know.
310
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:57,546
Things are tough at home
and that really does stink.
311
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,548
But you have a choice.
312
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:03,018
You can tough it out,
or you can let it beat you.
313
00:19:03,042 --> 00:19:06,455
But right now you're here.
And this doesn't have to stink.
314
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,457
And if you stay and work at it
315
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,525
and everything turns out,
316
00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:11,961
you'll have a place to visit
317
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,663
when the things at
home really get to stink.
318
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:17,099
I just can't, like,
come here whenever.
319
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,903
You can just, like,
come here whenever.
320
00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:23,672
Well, I don't mind
the gardening,
321
00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:26,375
but it's, like, the
vacuuming I hate.
322
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:29,678
That's, like, for girls.
Well, we can renegotiate.
323
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:34,238
I'll do the vacuuming if
you'll, like, learn English.
324
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,510
Come on, I'll fix you
something to eat.
325
00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,927
All right, now,
attention, everyone.
326
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,962
I want to propose a toast.
327
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:50,532
To Dorothy Zbornak, who
got an A in her French class,
328
00:19:50,556 --> 00:19:53,903
proving that you can
teach an old dog new tricks.
329
00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:57,161
And if anyone knows
about tricks... Ma!
330
00:20:00,666 --> 00:20:03,412
Thank you, ladies and gentleman.
331
00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:07,182
Or should I say, merci
beaucoup, mes amies.
332
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,386
Oh, my, that was impressive!
333
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:15,124
Jane Goodall once taught an
ape to rumba... that's impressive!
334
00:20:15,148 --> 00:20:18,060
Now I would like
to propose a toast.
335
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,896
To David, who in the past week
336
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,300
has proven that he
is one damn good kid.
337
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,689
Hear, hear.
338
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,639
You know, it's really
been interesting.
339
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:32,674
I got hit, did chores,
340
00:20:32,698 --> 00:20:36,578
learned all about
handicapped animals.
341
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:39,971
All in all, it hasn't
been half-bad.
342
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:43,585
And if it's all right with you,
343
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,310
I wouldn't mind
living here full-time.
344
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,529
Well, I would certainly have to
discuss that with your parents.
345
00:20:54,553 --> 00:20:56,265
Oh, Mom and Dad will say yes.
346
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:59,534
They'll be as happy
with the idea as I am.
347
00:20:59,558 --> 00:21:02,338
Well, I'm gonna
get some ice cream.
348
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:05,607
Wait up! I'll show you
where I hide the good stuff.
349
00:21:05,631 --> 00:21:07,698
Call his mother!
350
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:11,380
Blanche, what are we gonna do?
351
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:14,916
Do you think I should call his
mother? I really think you should.
352
00:21:14,940 --> 00:21:17,052
All right, I will.
353
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:20,389
I don't want to send him
back to an unhappy home,
354
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,191
but we're grandmothers.
355
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:25,861
It wouldn't be fair to be this
old and have to raise children.
356
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:28,864
Hello, baby, it's Mama.
357
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,866
Well, I'm fine,
honey. I'm just fine.
358
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:33,435
I'm calling you about David.
359
00:21:33,459 --> 00:21:35,437
No, he's fine.
360
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:38,374
Um, matter of fact, he's
so happy here, Janet, that...
361
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:42,011
I've decided to keep
him and raise him myself.
362
00:21:42,035 --> 00:21:44,546
You heard me.
363
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:47,316
Well, he says that you and
Michael spend so much time arguing,
364
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,273
that you don't
have time for him.
365
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:52,976
Don't you take that
tone with me, missy.
366
00:21:54,380 --> 00:21:56,680
Yes, I realize
you're his mother...
367
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:02,697
No, I don't suppose I can stop you if
you insist on coming and getting him.
368
00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:06,035
But you let me tell you this... if
you and Michael don't straighten up
369
00:22:06,059 --> 00:22:08,904
and give that boy the love
and attention he deserves,
370
00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:12,129
I will kick your uppity butt
till hell won't have it again!
371
00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:21,417
She'll call us right back. She
has to wake up the Yankee.
372
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:25,654
Well done, Blanche.
Oh, absolutely. Nice bluff.
373
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,257
That was no bluff. I
meant every word of it.
374
00:22:28,281 --> 00:22:30,759
I would love to have a
chance to raise David.
375
00:22:30,783 --> 00:22:34,651
I might make up for the
mess I made with Janet.
376
00:22:40,826 --> 00:22:43,839
I still wish you'd let us
drive you to the airport.
377
00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:46,941
Oh, my cab's already here. Besides,
I've seen the way you all drive!
378
00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:49,411
Oh!
379
00:22:49,435 --> 00:22:51,713
I'm gonna miss you guys.
380
00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:54,783
It was nice of your folks to
let you join them in Hawaii.
381
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:57,352
Yeah, they've never ignored
me on an island before.
382
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,488
David, you listen to me.
383
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:01,690
Now, they want the three of
you to start over from scratch,
384
00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,825
so the least you can
do is meet them halfway.
385
00:23:03,849 --> 00:23:07,328
I'll try. I bet it'll be
easier than you think.
386
00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:09,865
Yeah, especially now that
you have an alternative.
387
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:13,435
If things get too tough at home, you
can always come here and live with us.
388
00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:17,672
Well... Bye, Grandma.
389
00:23:17,696 --> 00:23:19,974
Bye, honey.
390
00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:22,232
Dorothy. Bye, love.
391
00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,903
Rose.
392
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,875
See ya, slugger.
393
00:23:39,384 --> 00:23:41,496
Bye, darling. Bye.
394
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,455
Run, run, run! Go.
395
00:23:48,093 --> 00:23:50,026
Oh, I hope he's
gonna be all right.
396
00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:53,909
Oh, Dorothy that
was so sweet of you,
397
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:57,612
telling him he could come
live with us. I meant it.
398
00:23:57,636 --> 00:24:00,014
It's gonna be awfully quiet
around here without him.
399
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:03,718
I'll say. No more
listening to Dorothy snore!
400
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:05,720
Ma, I do not snore!
401
00:24:05,744 --> 00:24:09,304
Please, I had to turn you from the
window so you wouldn't inhale the drapes!
32068
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.