All language subtitles for G.T.S04E20.Florida.and.Carl.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

* Good Times *

* Anytime you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you feel free *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you're
Out from under *

* Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head
Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching and surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times **

Oh.

Let me see.

How about this one?

Ma, this is
your first date with Carl.

That don't show enough.

Oh, that one
don't show enough.

This one shows too much.

How much am I
supposed to show?

Just enough
to start them looking,

but not enough
to get them cooking.

Ma, I don't know why
you're so nervous.

Oh, Thelma,

I don't even remember
how to date.

Oh, Ma, we've known Carl

ever since Michael
started working for him.

He's a nice guy,

and you're going
to have a lot fun.

You're right, honey.

Yeah.

I'm just being silly.

It's just a date, right?

I'm going to call it off.

Oh, hold it, Ma.

Hold it, Ma.

Now, think about
what you're doing.

A man like Carl

is not easy
to find these days.

That's right, Ma.

Especially at your age.

I mean--

What I mean, Ma,

is that
you ain't no spring--

What I'm trying
to say is...

See, I don't know
exactly how to put it.

Suppose I tell you
exactly where to put it.

See, Ma, you got to think
about the future.

I mean, us kids ain't
going to be around for ever.

Pretty soon,

Michael's going to be
going off to college.

I, no doubt,
will be forced to marry

one of my
admiring groupies,

and Thelma will be

walking down the aisle
with her husband

and his seeing-eye dog.

Oh, J.J.

Hey.

And then, Ma,
you'll be left here all alone,

staring into the fireplace,
sitting in your rocking chair,

rocking back and forth,

back and forth,

back and forth.

* Swing low *

* Sweet chariot *

Will you stop it?

Hey, Flo,

have I got the finishing touch
for your date tonight.

Oh, Willona.
Take a whiff of that.

Nice
Nice.

Smell this here.

It's called
"Evening in Barcelona."

Oh.

Smells more like
rush hour in Cleveland.

Oh.

Here, Flo.

Willona,
I can't take this.

Flo, take it.

Nothing's too good
for Carl, honey.

You got yourself a winner:

looks, personality,
and he owns his own business.

Girl, you couldn't find
a better dude

if you had tried.

Willona, I'm not
going out tonight.

That turkey ditched you?

No, the turkey
didn't do the ditching.

The chicken did.

Oh, Flo.

Willona, I didn't
do anything yet.

You know, dating
is easy for you,

but I haven't
been out on a date

since before
James and I got married.

Oh, I know that, honey,
but men haven't changed.

They're still the same.

Just like little old puppies.

Like you to scratch their ear
and rub their tummy.

Hey, man, now,

as a prime example
of American manhood,

I resents
being called a dog.

J.J., go chew
on your milk bone, please.

Thelma, I would,

but it fell into
your water dish.

Flo, you've got to
see this through.

You've come
this far, honey.

Well, you know me, Willona.

I couldn't break a date
this late, anyway.

Hey!

Good, Ma, good.

Welcome to the wonderful
world of dating.

What am I doing?

Look at the time.

I'd better get dressed.

Okay, now, Ma.
Now, take it easy.

Don't be nervous, you know,

and take the advice

that you gave me
on my first date, okay?

Thelma, I don't even
remember what I said.

You said, "Don't be nervous,
don't try too hard,

and don't let him
touch you below the neck."
Oh.

WILLONA: Come wear
the blue dress on the bed.

Hi.

Is Ma ready yet?

Almost. Where's Carl?

He'll be here.

Hey, Thelma,
what's taking her so long?

Carl's going to be here
any second.

Well, that's okay.

She putting on
her makeup now.

She's getting ready.

Makeup? I don't understand

why women have to put that junk
all over their faces.

Michael,
in most women's cases,

it's to bring out
their natural beauty,

but in Thelma's case,

it's to cover up
the scene of a crime.

And you've
got the nerve to talk,

moose face.

Moose face!

Yeah, yeah.

[ARGUING]

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey.

Knock it off.

I mean, you two
can't spend two minutes together

without having a fight.

Now, J.J, you know Thelma's
a beautiful looking girl.

Humph.

And, Thelma,
you know J.J.'s a handsome dude.

And if you all
both believe that,

you're dumber than I thought.

You got some nerve--

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

That must be Carl.

Hi, Carl.

Hi, Michael, kids.

Hi.

Hey there, Carl.

You looking pretty sharp
in those threads there, bro.

Tell it to
the militant midget.

He's the one that made me
get all duded up.

I think you look
real nice, Carl.

Thanks, Thelma.

Carl, Ma will be out
in a minute.

No hurry, Michael.

They're not going
to run out of food

at the Burger Pit.

KIDS: The Burger Pit?

Hey, Carl,
my mother's in there

getting dressed up
to go some place nice.

Well, what's the matter
with the Burger Pit?

Well, when my mother
goes to a restaurant,

she likes to feel
the atmosphere, not smell it.

You know what the kids at school
call the Burger Pit?

"Jack in the Grease."

"Jack in the Grease"?

Mm-hmm.

She's getting
all dressed up, huh?

Well, maybe we'll go
somewhere else.

Uh, Carl, do you
have to smoke?

She hates
the smell of cigars.

That's right.
Good idea, Thelma.

Carl, man, you missed
a spot on your shoe?

Yeah, your tie is crooked.
I'll fix it--

Hey, what's going on here?

At ease.

Who am I taking out,
your mother or the whole family?

Well, now that
you mention it, Carl,

I just happen
to be free tonight.

I don't care
if you're free tonight,

tomorrow night,
or any night.

Give me back my cigar.

Well, a simple no
would have been sufficient.

Uh, Carl,

we really
don't mean any harm.

It's just that
my mother doesn't like--

[MOCKING]
Mama doesn't this.

Mommy doesn't that.

Who am I taking out?

Florida Evans,
the patron saint of Disneyland?

Close.

Hey, she's a little bit sassy,
a little bit cutie.

Here comes your mama.

Ain't she a beauty?

Ta-dah!

Hello, Carl.

Oh, Florida,
you look great.

Just great.

Why thank you,
Carl.

You're looking mighty
handsome yourself.

Well, since
we're both gorgeous,

why don't we go eat?

Well, I'm all set.

Sure looking
good, child.

Whoo-whee!

Ma, have fun, okay?

I will. I'm going to try.

Good night,
everybody.

ALL: Good night. Bye.

Wait a minute there.

Just one thing
before you all leave.

Now, I know you all
both responsible people,

and, Carl,
I know I can trust you,

but I got one rule around here.

Now, see,
if you're going to date Ma,

you must have her in
before 12:00.

What did you say, J.J.?

12:30.

I'm telling you...

having kids is easy.

It's raising them
that's impossible.

I got a feeling
J.J. was the toughest

Well, he had a personality
of his own,

that's for sure.

Now, with Michael and Thelma,
it was easy.

Their first words were, "Da da".

Not so with J.J.

His first words were...

"Hello there, Mama."

You know,

somehow, I can't imagine
J.J. as a newborn baby.

Just picture
a bread stick with ears.

Waiter, are
our steaks ready?

We've been waiting
a half an hour.

Should be ready
any minute, sir.

Well, I hope so.

Mm, Carl.

I had no idea

we were going to go to
such a beautiful restaurant.

Hey, where'd you think
I was going to take you?

To the Burger Pit?

Oh.

Carl.

Yeah?

Can I ask you
a personal question?

Of course you can.

Nah, I better not.

It's too personal.
It's none of my business.

How come you never
got married?

Well, I was engaged once
before I went into the army,

but when I came back,

she'd run off
with my best friend.

Hmm. That's some best friend.

Oh, I didn't even
know him,

but when I ran into them
a couple years later,

and I took
a good look at her,

I realized that guy
had to be my best friend.

Ah, these are our steaks.

Oh, these sure look good,
don't they?

Best in the house.

CARL: Hey,
whoa, whoa, whoa!

What's going on here?

We were here before them.

It's okay, Carl.

But those are our steaks.

No, yours
are still on the grill.

I want to talk
to the maître d'.

I don't see him
right now.

Sure, he's probably
in the kitchen,

eating our steaks.

Is there anything else
I can get you, sir?

Yes, a telephone.

I can get faster service
ordering takeout.

Carl.

I can wait. Really.

But we've been waiting
all night.

We're in no hurry.

It's a nice,
comfortable place,

and it feels good
to just sit here and talk.

Besides, yelling won't get
the food here any faster.

Yeah, I know,
Florida,

but I just hate
to be taken advantage of.

Ah, these must be ours.

Mmm, boy.

Did you see that?

I know we were
before them!

Carl, there's
no need to yell.

I don't believe this.

While we were
eating our salads,

those people were still
home in the shower.

I'm sure they're going
as fast as they can.

Well, well, well.

Here we are.

Well, well, well.

It's about time.

We were just going to

pour steak sauce
on the flowers,

and take our chances.

Carl, doesn't this
look delicious?

See, you got
all upset for nothing.

A beautiful meal like this
was worth waiting for.

Oh.

What's the matter?

Oh, oh, nothing.
Everything's just perfect.

Oh, something's wrong.

You ordered that steak rare,
and it's well done.

Waiter!

Carl, please.

It's all right this way.

Look, Florida, I'm still
in the habit of believing

that when I pay for something,
I should get what I order.

Waiter!

Carl, you know how it is
when they get busy.

Look, is that why it took
the steaks took so long?

You could have
knitted one faster.

Well, a good restaurant

takes time
to cook the food right.

But they didn't
cook it right.

They overcooked it.

Well, you know,

it's hard to tell
when a steak is done.

You're incredible.

You'd make excuses
for anything.

You would apologize
for Watergate by saying,

"Well, it gave work
to the Cuban unemployed."

Why are you
taking it out on me?

Because the waiter's
not here,

and I got to
take it out on someone!

Carl, don't make
a scene, please.

I'd rather
just eat the steak.

Is something wrong, sir?

Yes.

This lady refuses
to eat her steak like this.

Take it back.

Honest,
it's all right.

Just leave it here.

I said, take it back.

And I said,
leave it here.

If I were her,
I'd keep the steak...

and send him back.

What's the matter
with you?

With me?

I'm not the one
who's been yelling all night.

No, you're the one

who's letting people
walk all over you.

The service here stinks.

Carl, everyone is entitled
to a few mistakes.

There you go again.

That is no reason for being
loud, stubborn, and rude.

Oh, I didn't know

we were talking
about my faults.

Now maybe you'd like
to know about yours.

Mine?

You know what
the trouble with you is?

You want to really know
what the trouble with you is?

You are perfect.

Why, that is the most--

What were you
going to say?

You're mad at me.

Why don't you
yell at me?

With all these people around,
it wouldn't be polite.

Okay, if I'm loud,
rude, and wrong,

why don't you
just walk out?

I wouldn't do that.

Oh, no, you wouldn't.

You are perfect.

Waiter!

Yes, sir?

Thank you, sir.

It's not for you.

Would you
call the lady a cab?

And I hope you have
a perfect ride home.

Well, that's it for me.

Uh, J.J., now,

I worked very hard
for this dinner

and you barely touched it.

I touched it enough

to know I ain't
going to touch it again.

Oh, come on, J.J.

Now, what's wrong
with the chicken?

Thelma, that's hard
to figure out

without an autopsy.

Michael, would you like seconds?

No thank you, Thelma.

I'm already getting seconds
from my firsts.

You see? You see?

I'm not going to
even bother

to fix dinner
for you anymore.

You don't appreciate
nothing you got.

That's right.

Don't fix nothing for us
no more, Thelma.

Look here, Thelma.

If the chicken's
supposed to be so good,

how come you didn't eat
any of it?

Well, you know--
Well, you see,

J.J, um...

I'm on a diet, right?

You know, and I can't
have any gravy.

Yeah. The chicken's
only swimming in gravy,

and look
what happened to him.

Hey, Ma, what you
doing home so early?

It's only 9:00.

Why, thank you, Thelma,

but if I wanted
to know the time,

I would have
consulted a cuckoo.

All right.

J.J., what time is it?

Hey, Ma, what happened?

Where's Carl?

Don't mention that man's name.

Uh-oh. Something
must have happened.

Nothing happened.

So that's it, huh?

He didn't
light your fire.

That is not it.

Ma, you've only been gone
an hour and a half.

The only time I came home
that early from a date

was when a guy tried to--

Ooh.

All right, Thelma,
that's enough.

So that's it, huh?

He did light your fire.
Tried to get fresh.

Ooh.

Thelma, knock it off.

Anybody would think we were
roosting owls in here.

Ma, I don't believe it.

Carl wouldn't do
a thing like that.

He didn't,
Michael,

and that's all any of you
need to know about it.

Look at this mess.

Thelma, what is this
pot of water doing here?

Oh, Ma, I was going to
boil some eggs, because, um...

I kind of burnt the chicken.

Kind of burnt it?

Girl,
you cremated it.

The dear, departed bird
has requested

that his ashes be spread
over Colonel Sanders.

Ma, are you and Carl
still friends?

Michael, that
discussion is over.

Through.

Finished.

And the next person
that mentions that name

is going to get
a lick upside his head.

Hey, kids.

Hey, Flo. Where's Carl?

Duck, Willona.

What's happening?

Nothing. Nothing.

Flo, what you
doing back so early?

Did something go wrong?

Flo, did you and Carl
have a fight?

Tell me all about it.

Willona,
I don't want to tell you.

I don't want to tell anybody.

I don't want to talk about it.

You know,
you are 100 percent right.

If you don't want
to talk about it,

don't talk about it.

None of my cotton picking
business, no how.

Ah, you ain't got
to tell me

everything that
goes on in your life.

I can respect
someone else's privacy.

Flo, if you don't tell me,
I'm going to die.

All right, Willona.

You're right.

We had a fight,
he called me some names,

and then walked out on me.

Oh, little
lovers' spat, huh?

Well, you know,
that ain't no big thing.

That's all part
of the dating game.

I've been called thousands
of names in my lifetime.

What did he call you?

He said I was...

perfect.

Now, look, Ma.

Hold on, hold on,
hold on a minute.

"Perfect" sounds like
a compliment to me.

Well, that's not
the way he meant it.

Oh, Flo,

having a fight
on your first date,

well, sometimes,
that happens, honey.

Willona, it was a nightmare.

The whole evening,

Carl was complaining
about the food,

about the service,
about the table.

It was just embarrassing.

Well, after a while,

I just told him
he was being rude,

and that's when he yelled at me
and said that I was perfect.

Now, isn't that something?

Can you imagine--

Would anybody think
that I don't do anything wrong?

That I'm perfect?

Now, isn't that ridiculous?

Well, well, well, isn't it?

Ma, we love you,
and you're wonderful,

but sometimes, you do act like
a little Miss Goody Two-Shoes.

"Miss Goody Two-Shoes"?

I was only trying to do
what is right.

Yeah, but, Ma,
that's the problem.

Everything you do is right.

I mean,
everybody makes mistakes.

You know?

Michael here
doesn't want to do his homework.

Thelma burns up the meal.

If you can believe this,

even I make
an occasional faux pas.

[PLATTER SHATTERS]

J.J., look
what you did.

That was
my best platter.

I'm sorry, Ma.

It was an accident.

Well, I'm glad,

because if you
had done it on purpose,

you'd tear up
everything in this house.

You're as clumsy as an ox.

You've got about as much grace
as a 10-ton truck.

Now, clean up this floor.

Flo, I want to
ask you something.

That place that Carl
took you to--

Was it was really nice?

It was beautiful.

Expensive?

Flo, was the service
really that bad?

Worse than that.

It was rotten.

Even worse than
the table and the food.

Oh, then I can understand
why Carl made a fuss.

Just like you made
a fuss with J.J.

That's not the same thing.

You act different in public
than you do in private.

But, Ma, you always telling us
to be ourselves.

Well, that's right.

Oh, but not in public?

What I want--

Well--

But--

Flo, honey, Flo.

What we're trying to say is

Carl was standing up
for his rights

in that restaurant.

Now, he was being himself.

You were hiding your feelings,
you know,

and making him
maybe look a little foolish.

Oh, I don't do that
to people, do I?

Would you like to hear
a vote from the floor?

I hate to say it,
but sometimes you do, Ma.

But, but, Thelma,

he walked out and left me.

Honey, no one is saying

that Carl was right
to do that,

but I'm just suggesting

that maybe you and Carl

both have a little something
to apologize for.

You know?

You're right, Willona.

We do.

I'm going to call him.

Right on, honey.
Oh, that's nice.

Call the dude,
tell him you're sorry.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

I'll get it.

Hi, Carl.

Hi, Michael.

FLORIDA:
Carl.

Florida, I've been
walking around,

and I've been thinking
about what happened.

Will you let
a stubborn jackass

say he's sorry?

Only if you will.

Sometimes, I let my temper
get the best of me.

Oh, Carl.

It wasn't all your fault.
I really--

[CLEARS THROAT]

FLORIDA:
Uh, Willona?

You think the kids

could watch TV
over at your place

for a little while?

Oh, sure.

Thelma,
here's the key.

You just go on.
Look at MASH.

I'd rather stay here
and see "MUSH."

Go ahead.
Go ahead, J.J.

Don't be so nosy.
Out, out, out.

Willona...

Oh.

Oh, sure.

Hey, you know me.

No one has ever
accused me of being nosy.

Right, right.

I'll see
you all later.

Okay.

Now, where were we?

Well, she was about
to apologize because--

Willona, TV.

Okay.

You know, Carl,

what I really
wanted to say was--

Florida, I don't want
to hear another word about it.

I want to forget
the whole thing

and start the whole night
all over again.

Does that include dinner?

Because I'm starved.

You bet it does.

From now on,

you're going to see
a different Florida Evans.

No more Miss Goody Two-Shoes.

Tonight, I'm going
to do something

really, really rotten.

That's the spirit,
Florida.

It'll do you
a world of good.

Carl?

Mmm?

I meant
to tell you earlier,

that is an ugly tie.

You're right.
Let's go eat.

Hey, wait a minute.

That was supposed
to be rotten.

Florida, you're rotten
at being rotten.

Well, I tried.

Come on.

Wait a minute, Carl.

Huh?

Since you're here,

and since you're so good
at fixing things,

why don't you
take a look at our sink?

Okay. What's wrong with it?

I don't know.

Something seems to be wrong
with the drain.

Well, let's have a look.

[SCREAMS]

Florida, what the--

Look at my clothes!

Why, you are--

Rotten?

Well, I know one thing for sure.

You certainly ain't perfect.

Hey, you're wet.

Come here.

* Mmm *

* Just looking
Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how
It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times, yeah, yeah *

* Good Times *

* Keeping your head
Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good times *

ANNOUNCER:
Good Times is videotaped
in front of a studio audience.

* Good Times **