All language subtitles for G.T.S04E13.The.Comedian.and.the.Loan.Sharks.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

* Good Times *

* Anytime you meet a payment *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you feel free *

* Good Times *

* Anytime you're
Out from under *

* Not getting hassled
Not getting hustled *

* Keeping your head
Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

* Scratching and surviving *

* Good Times *

* Hanging in a chow line *

* Good Times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good Times *

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

J.J., get the phone.

Don't worry, Ma.
My secretary'll get it.

Hey, come on, Thelma.
Get the phone, girl.

Hurry up.

This could be
important, now.

I'm not gonna move any faster

if that phone plays
"Shake Your Booty."

Uh, good afternoon,
Four M, Limited.

"Four M" what? Who's this?

One moment, please.

I'll see if he's in.

It's for you, boss.

Ahem.

Ahem.

"Chello."

Four M,
Limited here.

J.J. Evans,

resident president,
speaking.

You know,
there's something weird

going on around here.

Yep, and it answers
to the name of J.J.

Oh, The Chicago Defender?

Yeah, you want a table
for tonight for six?

Yeah, for the opening

of comedian extraordinaire,
Tyrone Tyler.

You got it, brother.

See your face at the place.

Well, that makes
every major newspaper in town

coming down tonight.

Uh-oh.

Got to make
some changes here.

Can't have The Jewish Post

sitting too close
to The Voice of Egypt.

J.J., what is this nonsense

about you calling yourself
Four M, Limited?

That just ain't me, Ma.
That's us.

See,

since I got back into
the entertainment business

managing Tyrone,

I thought we ought
to have a fancy name,

so I named us
Four M, Limited.

Well, how come
that's us?

Four M, Limited:

that's Mama,
Michael and me.

Hey! What about me?

You're the fourth M,
miserable.

And your brain makes
the "Limited."

Yeah,
that's right!

Say what you want,
Thelma,

but Tyrone's our ticket
out of the ghetto.

J.J., we had
a showbiz ticket

out of the ghetto
before,

but it turned out
to be a round-trip.

Now, you can't just
base everything

on somebody that
delivers ribs with you.

Hey, Ma,
but Tyrone's funny.

He cracks us all up
down at the rib joint,

and you know
what they say,

you build
a better mousetrap,

and the
world's yours.

And the world of showbiz
is going to be ours,

because Tyrone's
our mousetrap.

Well, your trap's got
a weak spring,

because every time
he gets up on stage,

he throws up.

I got that all
worked out, Thelma.

I haven't fed Tyrone
all day,

so tonight, at the club,
when he gets down,

he won't have nothing
to come up.

Now, J.J., Tyrone's been
in that bathroom for two hours.

Is he ever gonna get out?

He's taking a bubble bath.

I'm telling you,

the man is going to be

a very, very calm
performer tonight.

And a very,
very wrinkled one tonight.

Hey, Michael.

How did things
go out there?

Well, J.J., I think
I must have handed out

at least a thousand
of those Tyrone Tyler things.

Oh, yeah, Michael?

Well, tell me
something, brother.

What did
the people say

when you handed them
the handbill?

Well, most of them said,
"Who's Tyrone Tyler?"

Oh, that's now,

but after tonight,

people all over town
will be mouthing the words--

"Who's Tyrone Tyler?"

Oh, Ma,
look at this--

"He's flipper than Flip.
Cooler than Cos.

"See Tyrone Tyler
for laughs and applause.

Tonight
at The Byrd's Nest."

Now, that's cute.

J.J.,

things like that
cost a lot of money.

Honey, we can't
get out of the ghetto

by spending money.

Hey, Ma,
ain't no big thing.

You know, you just make
a deal here and there.

I let the man
print these up for free.

I let him in the club
tonight for free.

You know, one hand
washes the other.

* Pretty
Oh, so pretty **

Look at me, darling.
Look at me.

What do you say?

What do you say?

Oh, I say you came
to remind me

it's laundry day.
Oh!

Laundry, in this outfit?

Of course.

Now,
how could I think

that those clothes
were laundry clothes?

I mean, anybody could
take one look at those clothes

and see they're not
for doing laundry.

That outfit
is definitely

for putting out
the trash.

Oh, that is so cold.

That is so cold.

I'm only kidding.

Girl, you look gorgeous.
Thank you.

Hey, Willona,
if you're not busy tonight,

how'd you like
to go out stepping

with the vice-president
of Four M, Limited?

Ow! No sooner
said than done, baby!

You know, Willona,
that is a bad outfit.

I just love it.

Isn't it?
It's the new peasant look.

It's not only pretty,
it's practical.

Now,
look at these boots.

These boots, once worn
to protect your feet

when you walk
through the cow barns,

serve the same purpose
when you go out with

some of the jive dudes I know.

You know something,
Willona?

That is just perfect
to wear

to Tyrone's
opening night.

Oh, yeah, honey.
Front row, center. That's me.

Uh, Willona.
Whoa. Yeah?

The way Tyrone's stomach
acts up,

I wouldn't want
a front-row table.

Hey, Tyrone, brother,

you about all revved up
and raring to go?

TYRONE:
I-I-I think so.

Well, he's rolling now.

Ladies
and gentlemen,

Four M, Limited
proudly presents

the Atomic Comic.

Let's give it up for my man,

Tyrone Tyler.

[ALL CHEERING]

J.J., where'd you
get that tuxedo?

Later, Ma. Later.

FLORIDA:
It looks like

it cost an awful lot
of money.

Now, J.J., we got
some talking to do.

Ma, please, no talking
while the act's on.

J.J., how much
did it cost?

150 dollars, Ma.

Oh, my Lord.

But don't worry.

It's the same tuxedo
he's gonna wear

for his opening
in Las Vegas.

Go, Tyrone, my man.

[MONOTONOUSLY]
Good evening, folks.

My name's Tyrone Tyler,

and I'm from the ghetto.

Now, there's only one reason
I'm from the ghetto,

I wanted to be near my family.

J.J.:
You killing them now, brother.

I went to school
right here in the ghetto,

but I got thrown out early.

The teacher said,

"if Willie has 8 cents
and Theotis has 10 cents,

what do they get?"

And I said, "Mugged."

[LAUGHING]

J.J.:
I can't take this
much longer!

I wanted a bicycle,

but my father said I should do
what the other kids do,

ride a rat to school.

Funny things
happen in the ghetto.

My ma, uh...

My ma...

"Went on
The Price Is Right."

...went on The Price Is Right.

My ma went on
The Price Is Right,

and she had a chance
to win, uh...uh...

Uh, 500 dollars.

...500 dollars, if she guessed
the price of a can of soup,

and she guessed,
uh...

59 cents.

59 cents, and uh...

Uh,

the right price
was 39 cents,

but Ma said,
"I thought

you's talking
about ghetto prices."

Hey, look here,
brother.

You got to tighten up
on the act here.

Uh, J.J., I don't
feel so good.

Just a little
opening-night jitters.

All right, J.J.

Now that
your "Atomic Comic"

is having
another explosion,

I want to know where
all the money came from

for the tuxedo
and those handbills.

Hey, Ma, that's what
you call in showbiz

giving credit.

All Tyrone has to do is,

when he gets to be
a big star,

just tell people where
he gets his clothes from.

And just what is that
on your head

and how much did it cost?

This, folks, is a Homburg.

The chapeauof all
successful managers.

With this hat,

Tyrone and us are going
all the way to the top.

I'm going to raise
some knots on your top

if you don't give me
a satisfactory answer.

Now, I want to know where
all the money is coming from

for Tyrone's "de-butt"

and all these fancy
suits and hats.

Well, Ma, you know, see,
Tyrone's one of them rare--

Good news, J.J.

I'm empty.

Well, well, well.

Then out of the house
and into the night,

because here comes
Tyrone

and Kid Dy-no-mite.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, well,
well, Stanley.

You're gonna be

a very, very proud
nightclub owner

because after tonight,
your Byrd's Nest here

is going to be
overflowing to capacity.

Maybe, J.J.
Maybe not.

Now, that's if
this kid is funny.

If he's funny?

I'm telling you,
this man's a laugh riot.

A barrel of laughs.

And, you know,
best of all--

He hasn't thrown up
in two hours.

STANLEY:
What?

Best of all, he's got
the wildest act in town.

You know, J.J.,

a lot of good talent
come through the Nest.

I mean, Cosby, Flip Wilson,
Richard Pryor.

All nothing, nothing.

That's they way
they'll look like after tonight,

when Tyrone
explodes upon the scene.

Yeah, you know,
I could've owned

a piece of them guys,

but, see, I was always
a little bit too afraid

to take that plunge.

Only once,
I went all the way.

My nephew,
I backed him.

I spent a fortune.

Oh, yeah?
Was he a good comic?

He wasn't even a good nephew.

Anyway, I feel with Tyrone,
see, J.J.,

it might be
a little different.

Maybe I can make
a little deal.

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, Stanley.

Tyrone's 100 percent owned
by Four M, Limited.

J.J., maybe you'd
better think about it.

Which of them turkeys
is J.J. Evans?

Hey, J.J. Evans?
I'll see if I can find him.

Hold it, chump. You fit the
description.

Tall, skinny, and leaning
on the ugly side.

What do you guys
want with him?

This scarecrow borrowed
$200 from the boss,

and we're here
to collect $220.

Two hund-- I only borrowed
$200 three days ago.

Interest.

And we compound
interest

like we break
your bones:

daily.

J.J., you borrowed
from loan sharks?

We prefer to
think of ourselves

as a friendly service
collection agency.

Yeah, if we don't get
that $220 you owe us,

you going to get
the friendly service.

Excuse me,
Mrs. Evans.

Hey, fool.

Now,
let me tell you something.

You just broke up
my brand-new chair.

That's part of a set.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Right.

Now you got
a matching set.

Thanks.

Would you like
to have a drink?

Hi, Stan Byrd.

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

Look, why don't you thugs
get out of here

and leave my son alone?

Hey, lady, it's not nice
to call people "thugs."

Oh, you're right.
Forgive me.

I meant, hoods.

We're businessmen.

I mean, financiers.

We're like banks, only...

if you don't pay the loan...

we deposit you
in Lake Michigan.

Lake Michigan?
Uh-huh.

If I don't drown,

the pollution
would kill me.

Now, just

wait a minute,
you guys.

Once Tyrone's a star,
I'll pay you back.

Every penny!
Honest, I will.

We can't wait
that long.

Wait a minute, now.
Wait. Maybe I can help.

Good thing you came along,
Stanley, because, you know,

a half-interest in Tyrone
just came open,

and it only costs $200.

$220.

Okay, all right.
Now, look.

Now, if Tyrone
is good, J.J.,

I'll lend you
the money,

but I got to
wait and see

how well he does.

Now, you guys might
as well wait,

because if you do,
you get paid. All right?

And if he's isn't any good?

We get you.

And personally,

I hope the kid bombs.

We'll be
right over here.

Whew.

J.J., brother,

I hope, for your sake,
that Tyrone is good,

because
you in trouble.

I'm way past hoping.

I'm into praying.

Oh, J.J., no matter
how bad things got,

this family
never stooped

to dealing with thugs
like those two.

Well, Ma,
I tried the bank.

I told them the only
collateral I had

was in cattle,

but they wouldn't lend me
any money on my cow hat.

Smart answers aren't
gonna get you anywhere.

You still owe them
a lot of money!

Ma, don't worry about it.

After people see Tyrone tonight,

we're going to have
so much money

I'm gonna be using
my 5-dollar bills

to dust off my twenties.

Oh, J.J., I know
you're doing this

for the family,
but then again,

I hope you're not
fooling yourself.

You saw how he was
at the apartment.

Ma, this isn't then.

I'm talking about
he's working for the big time,

which is now.

I hope you're right.

And I hope
you're good.

Thanks,
Mrs. Evans.

I'll do
my best.

All tight,
Tyrone.

Sit down,
here, my man.

In a couple
of minutes,

you're gonna be
out there,

and I want you
to knock 'em dead.

You ain't nervous,
are you?

Oh, I ain't nervous.

Who are those two dudes
over there?

Well, they ain't
drama critics

from
The Ladies Home Journal.

Well, who are they?

Just a couple
of interested bystanders.

Looks like
they're interested

in doing some
real nasty business.

Yeah, I heard

they were thrown out
of the Mafia

for fighting dirty.

Just jiving.

Just jiving.

If you're
just jiving,

then why is that turkey
wearing gloves?

Well,
his hands get cold,

and he don't
want them to chap.

All set, kid?

Never felt better,
partner.

Never felt
better.

I am talking
to Tyrone.

Now, look,
J. J.,

you and I ain't
partners yet.

Now, why don't you
get out there

and introduce
Tyrone?

Gotcha,
and Tyrone,

I want you
to go out there

and I want you to
kill the people!

And if
he don't,

we will.

Great jokers,
these guys.

So long, Tyrone.

Maestro, a fanfare,
if you please.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Very good fanfare.

Doesn't J.J.
look nice on stage?

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen,

The Byrd's Nest
is proud to present

a dazzling new comic,

one of "eppervescence"

and "rombosity,"

a man that is bound

to lay more dips in your hips,

more glide in your stride.

If you don't dig his best,

you got the wrong address.

Ladies and gentlemen,

need I say any more than
"the Atomic Comic"?

Let's give it up
for Mr. Tyrone Tyler.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Uh...ha ha.

Uh, the sound system
in here, uh...

ain't that good.

Stan, make a note:
new sound system.

Maestro,

another fanfare,
if you please.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Yeah!

Let's put our hands together
one more time,

and let's hear a dazzling
round of applause

for the Atomic Comic,
Mr. Tyrone Tyler.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS,
AUDIENCE CHEERS]

[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]

Why don't y'all
just talk among yourselves

for a few minutes?

I'll be in the back...

I better see
what's happened.

Where's my man?

Where is that kid,
man?

Kid split.

He may not be funny,

but he does the hundred
in nine flat.

My comic!

My club.

Our money?

J.J., is everything
all right?

Look, nothing is all right.
Nothing at all, Mrs. Evans.

Look, Tyrone has split.
What am I going to do?

Wait a minute.

[PATRONS CHANTING
AND CLAPPING IMPATIENTLY]

Now, look, those people
are gonna tear up my club.

What are you gonna do?

[CLAPPING, CHANTING CONTINUES]

J.J.,
why don't you do the act?

Me?
Why not?

You were better than Tyrone,
and you don't throw up.

Me?

Well, look here,
we got to do something,

anything--
a dog act,

two monkeys
with an orange.

Me?

Look, J.J.,
if you do a good show,

I promise you, I will
lend you the money, man.

You might
as well, kid.

You got
nothing to lose.

But your
good looks.

Well...

okay.

Oh,
good luck, son.

We'll be
rooting for you.

You break a leg.

That means,
"good luck."

No,
break both legs.

J.J., you in trouble.

You'll be lucky
if it's only one leg.

Yeah, I haven't done
a ribcage in weeks.

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm very sorry for the delay,

but we had
a little problem backstage,

but I want you to know
that everything

has turned out to be
very, very groovy.

Now, unfortunately,
Tyrone Tyler has taken ill.

And taken off.

STANLEY:
Now, however,

The Byrd's Nest promised you
a new and exciting comedian,

and, baby, that's exactly
what you gonna get.

Let me hear
a little fanfare there.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

All right,
let's put it all together

for a new, dynamic comedian,
Mr. J.J. Evans.

Come on,

give the man
a hand.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH PLAYS]

Uh, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen.

Uh,

my name is, uh,

Tyrone--

J.J.
Uh, I mean, uh...

J.J. Evans,

and uh,

I'm from the ghetto.

[WEAK LAUGHTER]

Uh, I'm from the ghetto

'cause I wanted to be, uh...

I wanted to be, uh...

[WHISPERS]
I wanted to be near my family.

I wanted to be near my family.

Uh...

I went to school in the ghetto,
but I got thrown out.

Uh, the teacher said,

"If Theotis had 10 cents
and Willie had 8 cents,

what would you get?"

And I said, uh...

I said, uh...

I said, "Mugged."

He got that right!

Uh, I wanted a bicycle,

so I asked my father,

and my father said,

"Why don't you be like
the rest of the kids..."

The first full house
in three weeks,

and bingo, nothing,
nothing!

FLORIDA:
J.J. Where's J.J.?

He'll be with you
in a minute, lady.

If you've harmed him
in any way--

Stay cool, lady.
We're gonna get to that, okay?

J.J.!

Son!

Ma.

It's
conference time.

Wait a minute.
You leave him alone.

Sure, lady,
for $220.

In 10 minutes,
it goes up to 240.

Well,
kid?

Well, I don't
have the money.

I guess I'm just gonna have to
fight you for it.

Don't be
a fool!

Look, Mr. Byrd,

you said you'd
loan him the money.

Now, I know he wasn't
very good out there,

but, please, can't you
help us anyway?

[SIGHS]

Oh,
what the hell?

He was much better
than my nephew.

Here.

You people aren't gonna
break up this kid.

Nice move there,
partner.

Now,
it's all there.

Now, will both of you get
the hell out of my club,

please?

Everybody's paying up
these days,

and the only thing
I get to smash

are chairs.

Mr. Byrd, thank you
for loaning J.J. the money.

I'll see to it

that he pays you back
every penny.

Right, J.J.?

Oh, right, Ma.

Right.

Now, I'm gonna
leave you two

to work out the arrangements.
All right?

Okay. All right.
Thank you.

Well, Mr. Byrd,
I guess I really blew it.

Showbiz ain't for me.

Oh, I wouldn't
say that.

I wouldn't say that
at all, son.

In fact, I still
think of you

as being
in showbiz.

Hey, wow. That's great!

Because, you know, I got
a lot of great ideas

for the club--

whole new policy,

line of dancing girls.

I'll pick them out
personally.

Well, that's not exactly
what I had in mind, J.J.

Every Tuesday night,
ladies' night.

I'll be out in the front
greeting them.

Well, look, I kind of
thought, partner,

that maybe
I would be out front

and you would be,
like, behind the scenes.

Oh, backstage
mastermind, huh?

Even though my good looks
would help out front,

but if that's the way
you want it, so be it.

Partner, I tell you,

we gonna be cleaning up
in no time.

Right. You can
start tonight.

Mopping.

Mopping?

That's a little further
behind the scenes

than I had hoped for.

Well, J.J.

Now, mopping pays
$10 a night.

Now, that means
we can dissolve

our little
partnership in, say,

22 nights.

* Mmm *

* Just looking
Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinking how
It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good Times, yeah, yeah *

* Good Times *

* Keeping your head
Above water *

* Making a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs *

* Good Times *

* Easy credit rip-offs *

* Good Times *

ANNOUNCER:
Good Times is videotaped
in front of a studio audience.

* Good Times *