Original subtitles

* Good times Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times Any time you need a friend *

* Good times Any time you're out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

* Easy credit rip-offs Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin' Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **

Michael, it's getting late. You better get ready for bed.

Oh, but Ma, it's Saturday night. I wanna watch the horror movie.

Those movies aren't good for you, Michael.

You know they give you nightmares.

Ma, Michael's been sleeping in the same bed with J.J.

for 10 years.

If that didn't give him nightmares,

nothing will.

Michael, you heard your mother. Get moving.

Oh, Daddy, but I wanna watch The Wolfman.

You don't get to bed,

you gonna watch "The Beltman"

Yeah, but Daddy, can't I just stay up

till his knuckles get hairy?

[GROWLS]

You want some more coffee, Willona?

Oh, no thank you, honey.

Ooh, child! Did I tell you the latest?

No, what?

There gonna be a vacancy on the 7th floor.

Really, who's moving out?

Let me tell you what happened.

The husband in 703 was messing around

with the wife in 705, right?

Now, the wife in 703 heard about it,

told the husband in 705,

and 703 and 705 been fighting all week.

So who's moving out?

704. Can't stand the noise no more.

Oh, Willona!

Willona, tell me something.

Where do you get these stories from?

James, this is the bona fide truth.

I got it from the horse's mouth.

821.

There aren't no 821.

You got the wrong end of the horse, sweetie.

Got another bit of news for you.

What? In the laundry room the other day, I saw--

When you gonna learn that gossiping can be dangerous?

Me, gossiping? Me?

Now, James, gossiping is when you pass stories around

without having the facts.

Well, what you think you're doing?

I'm just spreading nasty rumors!

[LAUGHS]

* Love, love Will keep us together *

* Stay with me, baby Whenever *

* Some sweet-talking guy * J.J.!

* Comes singing along *

* Don't mess around We just got to be strong *

Oh, what are you doing?

* And stop... *

* Woo * * Woo *

*'Cause I'm Thinking of you *

* Stop... woo * * Woo *

*'Cause I really love you *

* Look in my heart And let love... **

Ha, ha, ha!

Just sit down, Junior.

I'll have a doctor here in a few minutes.

I ain't sick, Dad. I'm in...amour.

[JAMES CHUCKLES]

Cupid has shot me with his zip gun of love.

Who is it this time?

Oh, well, for the past couple of months

he's been going out with Diana Buchanan,

Fred and Lucille's daughter. Oh.

She has invited him to her senior prom.

Hey, well, let's not forget

that it's also Thelma's senior prom, right?

Right, and I'm taking Larry.

I'll be there with sweet Diana...

the love of my life, the girl of my dreams...

The weirdo of the neighborhood.

Now, Thelma, you know Diana is a nice girl.

Ma, I know she's a nice girl,

but she's very strange sometimes.

She's so moody.

That's because she's a deep thinker.

That's why I love her.

She digs me for my mind,

not like the rest of those chicks

who just want me for my...body.

Anybody who wants you for your body

is out of their mind.

Look who's talking,

the cover girl of Ugly Illustrated.

FLORIDA: All right

you two, that's enough.

J.J...

This is a first.

I can't remember you ever dating

the daughter of one of your parent's friends.

Oh, Willona,

it's just one of those accidents of love.

I was delivering an order for the Chicken Shack,

and Diana opened the door, and gwah-là!

I'll never forget that night.

Diana, the chicken, and Kid...Dy-no-mite!

Junior, you been in love every day that I can remember.

No, Dad, that's not true. Diana's different.

Every time I see her,

my legs shake, my knees buckle,

I breaks out into a cold sweat.

That ain't love, J.J. That's the flu.

Admit it, J.J., you fall in love

with every girl you take out.

That's not true.

Oh, no, what about Delilah?

I guess you could say that, uh--

And then what about Myrna?

Well, sometimes the thing--

Yeah, and Patty and Gloria and Susan.

And Maryann and Nancy and Bertha.

It was a very good year, wasn't it?

[JAMES CHUCKLES]

But Diana's different.

All those other chicks were just brief encounters,

passing ships in the night.

The others may have been passing ships

in the night,

but Bertha looked more like a supertanker.

[CHUCKLES]

But Ma, I thought you would understand.

Diana and me are serious.

Well, you have been going out with her

longer than any of the others.

Maybe it is serious.

Uh-uh, Flo, if it was serious,

J.J. would have bought her a bracelet by now.

What?

Oh, yeah. It began with delectable Delilah.

You remember her, mm-hmm.

Well, they came into the boutique, you know,

and bought one of those charm bracelets,

had it engraved.

"To Delilah, with all my heart.

Love, J."

J.?

Uh-huh, engraving costs 15 cent per letter,

and Casanova ran out of dough.

Oh, but he's gotten, uh...

12 or 13 of the same kind of bracelet

for different girls.

J.J...

you know if all those girls and all those bracelets

ever wind up in the same room at the same time,

they gonna do some engraving for you:

"J.J. Evans, rest in peace."

Now that I said my little sale, I'm gonna go on home.

JAMES.: Okay, Willona.

I'll see y'all later. FLORIDA: Okay.

Well, I ain't buying Diana a bracelet.

I'm buying her something else.

What? A ring.

You want to run that by me again?

An engagement ring.

Family, are y'all ready for this?

Today I asked Diana to marry me, and she said yes.

Lord have mercy.

You want to run that by me again?!

Calm down, Dad.

It's one of those things of nature.

I mean, everybody leaves home

sooner or later.

Birds do, fish do.

Even turkeys do!

J.J...with news like that,

why didn't you tell us as soon as you came in?

Well, I thought I better break it to you gently.

Kind of...glide over it,

kind of ease around it, kind of ooze by it.

Well, you better slide off it.

You're too young to even think

about getting married.

But, Ma, when you love somebody,

and you can't think of anything else,

and you're thinking of them every minute of the day,

what else is there to think of?

You better not be doing that either.

J.J., your daddy and I feel the same way about this.

You are too young to get married.

But Ma, we're in love. What more do we need?

We're in the state of Illinois.

Till you turn 21, you need our permission,

and Junior, you ain't going to get it. But, Dad!

You'll just have to wait. Now, if it's love, it will keep.

But Ma... It's not fair.

I mean, how come I can get

a driver's license when I'm 16,

but can't get a marriage license

till I'm 21?

Because the state would rather have you

driving a lemon than marrying one.

But, Dad. Diana's not a lemon.

The law is to protect her, dummy.

You stay out of this, burlap-brain.

I stood up for you

when you wanted to get engaged

to old what's-his-name.

Uh, Larry's got a good job,

but you can't support a wife delivering chicken.

Tell that to Colonel Sanders.

Look, J.J.,

it's not that we have anything against Diana.

We know she comes from a nice family,

but we also know that you are not mature enough

to handle what you'll be getting into.

But, Ma, I invited her and her parents over here

tomorrow night.

Couldn't we all talk about this?

Then y'all can make your decision.

JAMES: Look here, Junior,

I don't care if Fred and Lucille

talked their head off, my answer's still no.

So is mine, honey.

Yeah, J.J., I'm against it too.

What you got to do with this?

J.J., if you and Diana get married,

how the three of us gonna fit on that bed?

Ma, you finished yet?

Oh, relax, Thelma.

The prom isn't until tomorrow night.

Yeah, but I can't wait to try it on!

[CHUCKLES]

Thelma!

I told you to take it easy

on that Head and Shoulders.

[CHUCKLES]

J.J., will you get out of here.

Junior, did you get your tuxedo rented

for tomorrow night yet?

I sure did, Dad.

But I can't pick it up till the very last minute.

I got it rented for 24 hours or 5000 boogies,

whichever comes first.

Oh, Ma, I'm so excited!

Well... it isn't every day

my little girl goes to her senior prom.

Hey, Ma, when the Buchanans get here,

can we use the fancy china,

the one we got with the Green Stamps?

J.J., we don't have to put on no fancy airs

for the Buchanans.

Yeah, especially for a dude that owes me $20.

James, that's been so long ago.

Can't you just forget about it?

All right, baby, I'll forget it.

I ain't gonna mention it no more. Good.

Sucker owes me $20.

Well, we have more important things

to think about for tonight, right?

That's right,

and, Dad, when the Buchanans get here,

you will talk to them, won't you?

Sure, Junior, I ain't got nothing

against talking to them.

FLORIDA: Good.

I have got something against listening to them.

Why, James?

Because, Florida, they just trying

to unload their daughter off on our son.

Girls' parents always trying to do that.

Hey, Daddy. Hmm?

Who we gonna unload old Thelma on?

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, Michael, why don't you shut up

and finish the dishes.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Oh, Thelma, take this in the back.

Okay, Mama. J.J.: I'll get it.

No, sweetheart, I'll do it.

Hello, Diana! Come on in.

Hi! Hello.

Florida! Hey, J.J.!

Diana!

Mm, it's been so long since I've seen you.

Yeah, since yesterday.

Girl, isn't this something after all these years?

Who'd have thought that our kids

would end up going together?

Ain't it something?

Yeah. [LAUGHS]

You kids wouldn't remember it, but when you were 3 years old,

you spent a lot of time in the playground.

I remember you owe me $20.

Thelma,

will you take these coats into the bedroom.

Okay, Ma. Oh, would you take my purse too, honey.

Oh, Mrs. Buchanan, this is a beautiful bag.

Well, thank you. Diana got it for me.

She's got good taste in purses too.

Oh, J.J.

Hey, listen, why don't we all sit down.

Come on. LUCILLE: Thank you.

FRED: Thank you.

Oh, it's so seldom we get together, girl.

FLORIDA: James, why don't you pull up a chair.

No thank you, baby.

I'm comfortable right where I am.

Oh, look, Fred.

This is almost like the dish that Mother gave us.

Mm-hmm. Ours was stolen.

We've had so many robberies lately.

Girl, everything that isn't nailed down in our apartment

gets ripped off.

It's the same thing in our building.

Girl, and it's not just--

Why can't we stop all this small talk

and get down to business here?

Thelma, will you take Michael to Willona's for a little while?

Oh, Mama, you know you're not preparing me very well

for real life. What did you say?

The only thing I'm gonna be good at is leaving rooms.

Take your-- Watch it!

Now, look, Fred.

There ain't no way in the world these kids going to get married.

It's wrong. I absolutely agree.

Now, look, man.

Don't argue with me about it because I done made up-- Huh?

It's a bad idea, and I've been against it

from the start.

You know something, Fred,

it's a pleasure talking to a sensible man.

The whole thing is crazy. I mean, J.J.'s a nice kid...

but a husband?

[LAUGHS]

Get serious.

Oh, now, wait a minute.

What the hell's that supposed to mean?

Yeah, what's that supposed to mean?

Oh, come on. Look at him.

We were hoping for someone a little more solid for Diana.

J.J.'s too young and irresponsible.

Hey, wait a minute, now, Fred.

Don't go telling me my son ain't good enough for your daughter.

I mean, he got a good future in front of him.

He knows where he's going.

Any girl would be lucky to catch him.

Does that mean we have your permission to get married?

Are you out of your mind?

You're too young and irresponsible.

That's what I just said!

But that's not for you to say.

Well, what difference does it make who says it?

It makes a lot of difference!

Well, what are you yelling at me for?

Because he owes me $20.

Can I please say something?

No! No! No!

Look, what are we all yelling and shouting about?

We all know that Diana and J.J.

are not gonna get married, right?

FRED: Right.

But, Ma.

I don't think it's fair for y'all

to make a decision about our future

without us having a word to say about it.

Mrs. Evans, we want to get married because we're in love,

and what's wrong with that?

Nothing.

Until the rent comes due.

But Ma, I got a good job.

I'll be a great breadwinner.

Junior, you got to bring home the whole loaf, not just crumbs.

But I have my job at the department store too.

We can make it.

And that's not even counting my paintings,

because once they start selling, watch out!

We be living on the corner of Easy Street

and Got-It-Made Boulevard.

Well, it's not just the money.

Neither one of you have enough experience to know

whether or not you're making the right decision.

But you're our parents,

and you'll never think we're ready.

That's not true, Diana.

Now, we'll give J.J. our permission

as soon as we think he's mature enough

to handle this.

When will that be?

In about 20 years.

But Dad! There ain't no buts, Junior.

No permission, no marriage. That's it.

I'm with James. It will never work.

But Mr. Buchanan!

It's no use, J.J.

But Diana!

Son, I think she's right.

But Ma!

I'll get the coats.

But...anybody!

Florida, I know this is hard on the kids,

but it's for the best.

Well, maybe we can help them out a little.

Suppose you and Fred bring Diana over

before the prom,

and then we'll throw a little party for them.

Oh, that'll be wonderful.

I think so.

DIANA: J.J., what's going on?

What are we doing here?

I'm gonna get you a ring. When do you want to get married?

But you heard our parents last night.

There's no way they're gonna let us get married.

Don't ever say that. There's always a way.

And fortunately, you're dealing with...

Captain Smarts.

You know, I ain't just another pretty face.

I know.

But really, J.J., I just can't

see them changing their minds, can you?

Are you kidding?

I stayed up all last night thinking of ways

to get their permission.

I went through every plan, every clever idea,

every little detail!

Hey, that's great. So how we gonna do it?

Beats me.

But I did think of a way to get married

without their permission.

In Indiana, you don't have be but 18 to get married.

Diana, we're going to elope.

Elope?! J.J., we can't elope.

Why not?

It will be just like a big family wedding,

except we won't invite the family.

Yeah, but running away. That's pretty wild.

Well, no, it's not. People do it all the time.

All I'll do is get a ladder, climb up to your window,

and it will be bon voy-a-gee!

Yeah, well, that ladder better be on a fire truck.

You know I live on the 20th floor.

Okay, forget the ladder. We'll elope by elevator.

Excuse me, sir.

Would you like to see something in a ring?

Uh, yes.

Uh...her finger.

[J.J. LAUGHS]

[DEEP VOICE] Yeah, we'd like to buy a diamond ring.

How much did you want to spend?

Oh, the sky's the limit.

Oh...now this one is very nice. Only $1500.

Uh... Could we lose a little altitude?

Exactly how much altitude?

Uh, you ever heard of Death Valley?

J.J., don't you think we ought

to talk about this some more?

I mean, eloping is a serious thing.

Diana, I am serious.

I mean, I know I joke around a lot,

but I do love you,

and I can't wait two years to marry you.

I love you too, but this,

it's so sudden.

Diana, there's no other way.

But there must be some other way.

Are we buying a ring or watching a soap opera?

Oh, uh, pardon us.

Where were we?

Death Valley.

Now you just tell me how much

you want to spend,

we have a large selection in every price range.

Yeah, where do you keep your rings under $25?

In the gumball machine.

Now, this is our least expensive ring.

Only $185.

Well, Diana, how do you like it?

Oh, it's beautiful, J.J.,

but we really gotta think about our parents.

This is really gonna hurt them.

All right, Diana, we'll give them one last chance.

Tonight we all gonna be together before the prom, right?

Mm-hmm.

Well, we either tell them we're gonna get married

or we don't care what they say,

how they feel, or what they think.

You're gonna say that to your father?

No, you are.

No, just jiving, just jiving. I'll tell them.

Well, Diana... how do you like it?

It's beautiful.

[CLEARING THROAT]

Uh, we'll take it!

Fine, now, how will you be paying for this?

Painfully.

You know, we do have an easy payment plan here.

Ten dollars down, 10 dollars a month.

And this explains the terms.

I'll handle this.

You know, you're making a wise investment.

Like they say, "Diamonds are forever."

And so are these payments.

Well, if you just step over here,

I'll help you fill out the credit application.

J.J...I love you.

You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

I know.

Ma, I hate washing dishes.

[LAUGHS]

Daddy, Thelma and J.J. get allowance.

I think I should get something

for doing the dishes.

You do get something. What?

Dinner.

Oh! Hey, dishes, what's happening, baby?

How are you doin'?

Thelma, J.J., hurry up.

The Buchanans will be here any minute.

Well, baby, I think I'm all set

to take them prom pictures now.

Good, good.

Well, stand back and behold.

You're all looking at the black Liberace.

Now, Junior,

if you just had you a rented body

to go with that rented tux, you'd be all set.

Oh, James.

Don't you let your daddy kid you, J.J.

You look just great.

Thanks, Ma. Just jiving you, Junior.

Just jiving you.

Now, hold it there. Let me get this picture.

Give me some cheese.

All right.

Hey, did anybody see my gloves?

I can't find them anywhere.

Honey, they're in the top drawer--

Thelma... Oh!

Well, baby girl, you look absolutely beautiful.

Oh, thank you, Daddy.

Look at this-- [FLORIDA LAUGHS]

Let me take this picture with you and your brother.

Oh, let's not get carried away now.

Shut up and give me some cheese.

Cheese. All right.

Hey, Dad, you missed my good side.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Naturally. You don't have one.

Diana, you look just great!

Thank you, Mrs. Evans. Oh, Lucille.

Diana, you look so cute!

Oh, thank you, Thelma.

[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]

J.J.: Diana...

you look fantastic.

Diana, what's wrong?

Oh, nothing, J.J. Ooh, you look so fine.

Well, you know. What can I say?

Junior, hold it right there.

Let me get this picture.

All right, kids.

You know something, James...

We got the two prettiest girls

at the prom right here.

Oh, thanks, Mr. Buchanan.

JAMES: I'll drink to that, man.

FRED: And I'll join you.

It's hard to believe

my baby girl is graduating

from high school.

Oh, they grow up on us, Florida.

They sure do.

Hey, Michael. Where'd you put Diana's corsage?

In the refrigerator, next to the ribs.

Well, get it out of there

before you get some barbecue sauce on it.

Okay, J.J.

Thelma, your dress is beautiful. Thank you.

Well, you got the ring?

Uh-huh.

Might as well put it on.

Oh, it's so beautiful, J.J.

Well, we might as well tell them. Uh-huh.

Uh, Ma, Dad,

parents...

Uh, we got an announcement to make.

JAMES: What kind of announcement, Junior?

We got news here.

All right, J.J., what kind of news?

Well, me and Diana love each other.

That ain't no news.

And we want your permission to get married.

That ain't no news either.

And if you don't give us your permission,

we're gonna run away and get married anyway.

We already got the ring.

Now, that's news.

Bad news.

Real bad news.

J.J., you wouldn't, I told you--

We mean it, Mama.

We mean it!

We do. We mean it, we do.

Yeah, well, if you do... You do, huh?

Well, if you do, then Diana here's

gonna be going to two ceremonies in the same day.

Huh? Hmm?

Her wedding and your funeral.

And I'm gonna be one of pallbearers.

My daughter ain't eloping with no bony Romeo.

But Daddy!

You be quiet. You ain't going nowhere.

But Mama, you said we could talk about it!

You heard what your Daddy said.

You ain't going nowhere. No, it's not fair.

LUCILLE: What's wrong with you?

Now, you ain't going nowhere either, Junior.

Wait a minute, now. There's no need to yell.

What you talking about, Florida?

These kids can't march in here and tell us what they gonna do.

You're right. J.J.: But Dad!

JAMES: Ain't no buts, Junior.

I ain't playing any more games with you now.

Dad, I ain't playing no games either,

and I ain't backing down.

Well, you ain't gonna have to back down.

You might get knocked down.

[SCREAMING]

I'm sick of it! I'm sick of it!

What you talking about?

We wanna get married.

[PANTING]

[***]

* Mm-mm-mm *

* Just lookin' Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times Good times *

* Keepin' your head Above water *

* Makin' a wave When you can *

* Temporary layoffs Good times *

ANNOUNCER: Good Times is recorded on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em? *

* Good times **