All language subtitles for G.T.S02E07.The.I.Q.Test.540p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

* Good times
Any time you meet a payment *

* Good times
Any time you need a friend *

* Good times *

* Any time you're
Out from under *

* Not gettin' hassled
Not gettin' hustled *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave when you can *

* Temporary layoffs
Good times *

* Easy credit ripoffs
Good times *

* Scratchin' and survivin'
Good times *

* Hangin' in a chow line
Good times *

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times **

[HUMMING]

Hey, baby. How you doing?

Hi, James.

Ooh, whatever you cooking
sure smells good.

Almost drowns out the Lysol
in the hallway.

Ah, that's the special stew
I'm making,

it's called Beef Surprise.

Beef Surprise?

Mm-hmm, every time you find
a piece of beef in it,

you yell, "Surprise!"

Ooh, baby,
that sure smells good.

Honey, did you find
something nice for Michael?

Yeah, I got him
a fine pen and pencil set.

Just look at this, baby,
how you like it?

Oh, James, that's beautiful!

Yeah.

It looks like real gold!

No, that's what they call
gold plated,

which means,
don't breath on it too hard

or you go right through
to the tin.

Oh, James,
this is a milestone!

Yeah.

Oh, I just wish they had
graduation ceremonies

for public school,
then we could sit there proud.

Oh, don't worry, baby,

Michael will have plenty
of graduations for us to go to.

He'll probably be offered
more scholarships

than a 250-pound
tight end.

And before you know it,
law school.

That's right.

I can see him now,
arguing his first case.

"Is the counsel for the defense,
Michael Evans,

ready to make
his closing statement?"

"I am, your Honor."

"Very well then, proceed."
"Thank you.

"Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury,

"whereas and wherefore
we have been ipso'd and facto'd,

"as in the case
of habeas and corpus

"versus Telly and Savalas...

"the prosecuting attorney
has tried to prove

"that my client was drunk
while driving the car.

"I will prove beyond
a shadow of a doubt,

"with irrefutable proof
and all juicy prudence,

that he was drunk
before he got into the car!"

James, you're crazy.

Yeah, I know, but baby,
that's part of my charm.

Honey, we are flying
along with time

and I'm enjoying the ride.

I hear you.

You know Michael
just graduated,

Thelma doing well
in high school

and even J.J.'s
getting by.

Have mercy.

Yeah, you know
something, baby?

Hmm?

You sure turn out
good stock.

Yeah, but you better
turn off,

I think we got all the
inventory we could use!

Hello, dear Mother.

Hello, dear Father.

Hello, dear world!

I hope you all
appreciate me

as much as I'm
appreciating y'all!

I think you been hitting
that Kool-Aid too hard, man.

I just strolled home with
my girlfriend, Henrietta.

We walked arm in arm
all the way,

only stopping once
for an overturned garbage can.

But I was a gentleman.

I let her step over
the potato peels

and the chicken bones

while I stepped over
the winos.

Love in the ghetto.

Junior, you're
really going

behind this Henrietta,
ain't you?

I tell you, Dad,
she's the hot sauce on my ribs.

She's the bacon grease
in my collard greens.

She's the fuse that sets off
Kid Dy-no-mite!

Well, I don't know about
Kid Dy-no-mite!,

but you're sure built
like a fuse.

Mm-mm, that dinner
sure smells good, Ma.

Who all's coming to dinner?

Oh, it's just the family...
and Willona.

Mm. I got an idea.

Mm.

How about if we invite
Henrietta over,

so you all can meet
my intended?

Intended?

Junior, you ain't thinking
about getting married are you?

No, but I intend to go
as far as I can up to that.

Okay, J.J., call Henrietta

and tell her
dinner's at 6.

Gee, thanks, Ma...

Mm.

but I already told her
to be here at 5:45.

Hey, Junior.

I bet you got your nose
so wide open behind Henrietta,

you forgot all about Michael's
graduation present, didn't you?

Oh, now come on, Dad,

how could I forget
my kid brother?

I got him the greatest
present of them all,

a J.J. original,
a masterpiece:

a portrait of Michael
his self!

Oh...

Son, that's nice.

How come you put him
in a nightgown?

That's not
a nightgown, Ma,

that's the robe
of a Supreme Court Justice,

which Michael's gonna be
some day.

How come you painted
the robe purple?

That purple has a definite
symbolic meaning.

Oh, what does
it symbolize, son?

It symbolizes
that I'm out of black paint.

Well, if ya'll
will excuse me,

I gotta go put on
my party threads for Henrietta.

And thanks again for
inviting her over.

Saves me the expense of taking
her out for a snow cone.

Junior,
get out of here!

You know something, baby?
Hm?

You sure do
breed good stock.

Yeah, we got
a good family, James.

Yeah, you the best thing
ever happened to me.

You're beautiful,
you got brains,

plus you're built
just perfect.

Whoop, two out of three
ain't bad.

Hey! What did
I tell you

about putting
yourself down, huh?

Now, Detroit may be pushing
them little economy jobs,

but personally I likes
the big luxury models

with the soft upholstery.

At it again?

You two hug and kiss so much

nobody would ever guess
you're married.

You know something, Willona?

Timing ain't one
of your strong points.

How you gonna say that?

I've caught you every time,
haven't I?

Hey, what is this?

That's Michael,
as J.J. sees him.

A Supreme Court
Justice.

Oh, that's groovy.

He's gonna make it too,

because he's got your brains
and determination, James.

Oh, well, Willona, you can come
in without knocking anytime.

James, Florida,
had to come over here

and show you what I got
for Michael's graduation.

Wait until you see
what we got.

Are you ready?
Ta-da!

Ta-da!

Oh!
Oh, no!

Oh, it's all right,
Willona,

Michael's so smart he can
use a set for each hand.

No, I'll get him
something else.

I'll see you all at dinner.
JAMES: All right.

Six o'clock, Willona.

Okay, and don't forget,
I'm bringing the cake.

I got a chocolate cake
with chocolate icing

with chocolate filling

and "Power to the People"
spelled out in chocolate chips.

Well, you know Michael.

If it ain't black,
he gonna send it back.

Come on, James,
let's get changed.

After all, you know,

the father of a
Supreme Court Justice

has to be properly attired
at all times,

so come along,
Your Honor.

All right, Your Honoress.

Watch it, James!

I was, baby.
That's why I did it.

Ooh!

Hey, Ma?

Hey, Ma, we got
any roll-on deodorant?

No, use the spray.

It keeps missing me.

Keep trying.

There he is,
the man of the hour,

the future Nobel Winner
of Prize for Smarts.

Boy, wait until you see
that celebration dinner

Ma's got whipped up.

[SNIFFS]

That's Lysol.

Michael, you gots
to close the door quicker.

Might not be
a celebration dinner.

What do you mean?
Henrietta's coming over.

I don't think Ma and Daddy
are gonna be in a partying mood

when they see this letter
Michael has for them.

It's the results
of that IQ test I took, J.J.

That's no problem,
you can pass that

with one brain tied
behind your back.

What does it say?

"Dear Mr. and Mrs. Evans,

"as you can see by the enclosed
mark of the IQ Aptitude Test,

"your son scores among
the lowest in the school.

"Based on his score it's my
advice

"that instead
of an academic career

your son enroll
in a trade school."

Michael, why don't you
want to tell me?

Now how can a kid as smart
as you get such a low score?

I don't want
to talk about it, Thelma.

Oh, Michael, Mom and Dad
are gonna be so disappointed.

You're right,
that's how come

we gotta break this to them
gently and slowly.

How slowly, J.J.?

After dinner,
when I take Henrietta home.

J.J., you're always
thinking of yourself.

You know,
you're just selfish!

I resent that statement!

Do you deny it?

No, but I resent it!

Look here,
I made a lot of plans

and I don't want
to see them blown away.

THELMA:
I wish a good wind comes along
and blows you away.

J.J.:
What are you
talking about--?

All right, all right,

what are you two
fighting about this time?

About me.

How they gonna
be fighting about you?

You sitting
in a neutral corner.

Mom, Dad, this letter's
for you.

But it ain't nothing that
can't wait till after dinner.

J.J.!

JAMES:
Hey, hey, hey,
hey now!

I can't believe this.

Yeah, this don't
make sense.

Mike, you get straight A's
in school,

how can you get such a low score
on your IQ test?

I never even bothered
to finish the test.

I didn't like the questions,
so I walked out.

Walked out?

Oh, didn't like
the test, huh?

Didn't like it, huh?

I got something else
you're not gonna like.

James, please!

Now Michael, there must be
a better explanation

for you walking out
than you didn't like the test.

Sorry, Mama. I don't want
to talk about it.

You don't want
to talk about it?

I got news for you, mister.

There ain't gonna be
no graduation celebration,

no dinner, no presents,

there ain't gonna be
no nothing

until you decide you do
want to talk about it.

Oh, now come on, Dad,
Henrietta's coming over...

[OVERLAPPING ARGUING]

[OVERLAPPING ARGUING CONTINUES]

All right, hold it. Hold it,
calm down, now, hold it.

I said hold it!
Hold it!

Now, son, we're talking
about school. Your education.

I don't want you
to give me no more of that

"I don't want to talk
about it" jive.

Michael, you just might have
messed up your whole future

flunking that IQ test.

Furthermore you're messing up
my future with Henrietta.

Mom, can I borrow
your needle and thread,

I'd like to sew
those lips up.

Oh, now, come on,
I'm a part of this family,

and I have a right
to speak my mind.

And after one word,
your mind is empty.

Now look who's talking
about empty.

Why don't you take
that head back of yours

to the store
and get a deposit on it?

At least my head is--

All right, that's enough now.
That's enough.

I said that's enough,
now.

Michael, we had high hopes
for you.

We didn't figure on you
going to no trade school.

Now wait a minute, there ain't
nothing wrong with trade school.

You learn a lot of things there.

And besides, a lot of plumbers
make more than lawyers.

Junior, your membership
in this family

is getting shakier
by the minute.

Michael, come here,
honey.

Hey-- Oh!

Honey, you never walked away
from a test before.

Tell us what's
really bothering you.

Mama, they don't know it,

but that IQ exam was nothing
but a white racist test.

Oh Michael, how could it be
a white racist test?

All school children take it,
of all colors.

Yeah, but this one was given
by the white people,

made up by white people
and even graded by white people.

It don't tell you
how smart you are,

just how white you are.

That's why the average
black score

is 15 points lower
than the average white.

Yeah, but son,
you ain't average.

Michael, you can pass
any man's test in any color.

Maybe so, Daddy,
but a lot of black kids can't.

The black community
is different,

it has a different language
and culture altogether.

You mean to tell me everybody
don't eat chitlins for dinner?

And speaking of dinner...

Junior, I'm warning you,

I'm getting ready to tear up
your birth certificate now.

They asked questions
on the test like this:

"Complete the following
phrase, Cup and..."

and you have to choose
from four words,

wall, saucer,
table or window.

You know what
my friend Eddie put down?

JAMES: No.
Cup and table.

Because in his house,

they don't have no saucers
to put under the cup.

You know something,
when I was a kid

we didn't have no saucers
to put on the table either.

Huh. My house,
we didn't have no table.

And speaking of cups,
saucers and tables...

about dinner...

THELMA, FLORIDA AND JAMES:
J.J.!

And get this question:

"A mother, father
and two children

"live in a five-bedroom
residence.

"The mother and father sleep
in one bedroom

"and each of the two children
has a room to himself.

How many guest bedrooms
are there left?"

Now how many kids
in the ghetto

even know
what a guest bedroom is?

Yeah, the only guest room
we got around here

is when somebody puts
a sleeping bag in the bathtub.

I didn't mention nothing
about dinner.

You know there are not
many kids around here

who have a bedroom
to themselves.

And how many of them even heard
the word "residence"?

That's right, to them
it's a pad or a crib.

What you're trying
to say then, Michael,

is it's hard to get
the right answers

when you don't understand
the questions, huh?

That's right, Daddy.

And Daddy, white students
didn't do so good

when they took
the black intelligence test.

Oh, now, Thelma, you know
there ain't no such thing

as a black
intelligence test.

Yes there is, Ma. It was made up
by a black psychologist,

and when he gave the test
to white students

they scored 35 points
lower than black students.

Whites scored lower
than blacks?

Mm-hm.

In that case I'm going
to demand

they add points to my test!

No matter how many
points they add,

you'd still be
below normal.

Oh, yeah?
What about street smarts?

Give me that hat.

Hey, Ma, you see that?

[HIGH-PITCHED]
Hey, Ma, you see that?

Hey, Junior,
you see this?

Listen. Any of you kids
got any idea

where I can get a copy
of that black intelligence test?

Sure, Ma, I sent away
for a copy of it. I'll get it.

What you got
in mind, baby?

I got in mind
that we oughta pay a visit

to that guy who says Michael
ought to go to trade school.

Mm-hmm.

Come on, baby,
we got time.

Yes, lord.

Thelma, you look
after that stew.

Okay, Ma.

And could you all
hurry along?

Henrietta will be here
at 5:45.

Will you get your mind
off Henrietta?

And get your behind
off the door.

See you later,
Dad.

Mr. Hargrove?

[LOUDER]
Mr. Hargrove?

Oh, Miss Edwards,
I didn't hear you come in.

I was so engrossed
in these statistics.

Miss Edwards, did you know

that the intelligence of the
average sixth grader in Peoria

is 1.23 different
from the average in Chicago

and 2.7 different
from the average in New York?

That's fascinating,
isn't it?

Oh, yes, Mr. Hargrove.

There's a Mr. and Mrs. Evans
here to see you.

They don't have
an appointment,

but they're very anxious
to speak with you.

Well, send them in.

Yes, sir.

Yes, you may
come in now.

Thank you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I say...

[CLEARS THROAT
LOUDLY]

Uh, yes?

Yeah, we're
Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

Oh, well,
please sit down.

Thank you.

Intriguing.

[TITTERS]

Intriguing.

Fort Lauderdale
is only .073 different

from Anchorage, Alaska.

That's nice.

Well, uh, what
can I do for you?

Oh, our son brought
this letter home.

It's the result
of his IQ test.

Oh, yes.

I recommended trade school,
yeah.

Oh, your son's score was low,
very low.

JAMES:
Yeah, but see,
the reason he got such--

He brought down
the general average by .0037.

He got a low score because
he didn't finish the exam.

Well, now,
that's not unusual.

See, some pupils just can't
think as fast as others.

Well, now,
would you like to know

the percentage of those
who didn't finish the test?

No, no, we ain't
in here--

It happens to be 12 and
fourth-eighths percent--

Oh, you're black.

You noticed?

Well, the percentage
is different with blacks,

so I'm going to have to do
the whole thing over again.

Oh, now wait a minute,
Mr. Hargrove...

No, it's 13
and eight-tenths percent.

Hey man, we ain't here to hear
a whole lot of yang-yang

from your transistor.

This is an ABX Technicraft.

We're not talking
about numbers.

We're talking about our son
and he has a brain.

All three
of our children have.

Three children,
now that is unusual.

The average black family has
four and two-thirds children.

Look, can we
talk plain, man?

The reason our son
failed that jive test

is because it wasn't fair
to blacks.

It isn't fair to Chicanos,
Indians, Puerto Ricans...

It isn't fair
to any minorities.

Now that's impossible.

You see, all our
intelligent quotient tests

are scientifically computerized

to accurately determine
the intellectual potential

of each student.
I mean, it's infallible.

Well, if you doubt
my credibility,

then I will give you
the figures.

You see--

Look here, man.

Unless you can tell me what
the number's gonna be today,

I don't want to hear it.

Mr. Evans, you're pressing
my computer fingers.

Mr. Hargrove, with all of those
statistics in your head,

you must have a high IQ.

Yes. Yes, it's, uh, 178.

Ooh, you're a regular
big head, ain't you?

I bet you that puts you right up
there in the genius class, huh?

Well, I wouldn't want
to argue with statistics.

Well, I guess it would be easy
for you to pass an IQ test, huh?

Oh, yes, yes,
I feel quite safe

in saying that it would be,
yes, yes.

Well then, I suppose
it wouldn't be hard

for you to tell me Malcolm X's
last name?

Malcolm X's last name?

Is it Little, Jones,
Fallon or Brown?

Mrs. Evans,
I fail to--

Little, Jones,
Fallon or Brown?

Uh...Jones!

That's one he blew.
I'll keep score, baby.

His last name is Little,
Mr. Hargrove.

You just missed a question
on an IQ test.

An IQ test?

Yes, that's right,

put together
by Dr. Robert Williams,

founder of the Association
of Black Psychologists.

Yeah, that's the book
my wife is reading from.

Well, frankly, I fail
to see the importance

of whether or not I know
Malcolm X's last name.

Oh, what you really mean,
it's not important to you.

Okay, next question.

What's the meaning
of the word, "alley apple":

Brick, piece of fruit,
dog, horse?

Alley a-- Piece of fruit,
of course.

It's brick.

Ha-ha, you missed
another one.

Mr. Hargrove, you just brought
the average down another...

12 and two-thirds percent.

Ah, this one
should be easy. TCB?

I beg your pardon?

TCB. Does it stand for,
"That's cool, baby,"

"They couldn't breathe,"
"Taking care of business,"

or "Take careful
behavior?"

Oh, I think I know.

I mean I'm not totally ignorant
of black idiomatic speech.

Uh, TCB means,
"That's cool, baby."

That's wrong,
baby.

TCB means "Taking care
of business."

But don't worry, Mr. Hargrove,

I'll see if I can get you
on the steam gun

down at the car wash.

This is ridiculous.

Look here,
Mr. Hargrove,

all people ain't
statistics, see?

I mean, you know
something

because you come
from one culture

I know something because
I come from another.

Let me see if I can
put it to you this way:

How you gonna know
where I'm at

if you ain't been
where I been?

Understand where
I'm coming from?

Mr. Hargrove,
your statistics may say

that Michael goes to trade
school, but we say no way.

Our son is going
to law school.

Law school?!
That's right.

I warn you, the odds
against that are very great,

that is very unrealistic.

You see, this IQ test
that your son took

was designed to save you

a great deal
of pain and anguish.

The lad can't possibly
get that--

Oh, here, you nice people,
just let me show you.

Now, the percentage
of black youths

who reach college is 6.3.

Now, onto graduate school
is only 4.7,

and onto law school
is, uh, is only 1.8,

and passing
the bar exam is 1--

Huh. James, we just
got a sign.

I'm going home and start sewing
Michael's Supreme Court robe.

Come on, baby.

* Just lookin'
Out of the window *

* Watching the asphalt grow *

* Thinkin' how
It all looks hand-me-down *

* Good times
Good times *

* Keepin' your head
Above water *

* Makin' a wave
When you can *

* Temporary layoffs
Good times *

ANNOUNCER:
Good Times is recorded
on tape

before a live audience.

* Ain't we lucky we got 'em *

* Good times **