All language subtitles for Suburgatory s02e08 Black Thai.eng

(tessa) ryan shay hadn't taken
the news well.

Since learning of his adoption,
he moved into

lisa's ex-boyfriend malik's
house.

there was nothing left to do
but pray.

Okay, lord,

Let's try this again.

We are thankful for the food
We are about to receive.

Very thankful.
But we need more, lord.

We need ryan to forgive us
For keeping his adoption secret.

We need him to forgive us
And to come home.

And until then,
If you saw fit to send us

Something other than venison, it
Would be very much appreciated.

It's pretty heavy, lord.

(utensils clatter)
Every night. Venison every night

Until he comes home.
Do you hear me?

No complaints here.
His favorite is my favorite.

I have gout.
Even with the medication,

They're saying
I could lose a toe. A toe?! I lost a son.

Settle, sheila, settle.
Settle down.

Here's your tincture.

(sheila sobs)

Yes.
Ah.

What?

It is a soothing combination
Of chamomile, lemon balm,

And grain alcohol.

A little more, okay?

Okay.

A little more, fred.

Sh-sh-sheila.

I don't know why
I'm so nervous.

I aced the s.A.T.S.

(chuckles)

750 verbal.

Dalia's real gifted
When it comes to testing.

Mm.
I never sweat it

'cause homegirl's
Always off the charts.

Did you know
When she was born,

She was in the 95th percentile?
For length.

Wow. Length. That is
The hardest one to nail.

(laughs)

(boy) that thing is brutal.
Okay. Huh? Huh?

Is that an "i'm glad
It's over smile,"

Or an "i'm glad it's over
And i nailed it" smile?

I feel pretty good about it.
Yes, you do.

Give it. Come here.
That's my girl. Mwah.

Mommy, did you get my text?
Yes. Did you see my reply?

What, you--you texted her
During the test?

It's okay, daddy altman.

I colored in all the bubbles
Really fast, so i was bored.

You finished early?

I have a strategy.

What strategy?

Finishing early.

Tessa, let's celebrate.
Ice cream.

Any carton in the store.
You pick.

We'll make cones at home.
You want to?

Mommy, what are we gonna do
To celebrate me?

Um, how about we put
A new s.A.T. Sound system

In your new p.S.A.T. Car?

She got a p.S.A.T. Car?

She's kidding.

I'm not kidding.
You're not kidding?

How well might dalia have done
On the p.S.A.T.S

To warrant a brand-new car?

Real well.
How well?

Like top 10 percentile?
Top 20?

I'm proud to say dalia was
Definitely in a percentile.

The average s.I. Score is 141.

Did dalia do better or worse
Than average?

Tessa, maybe you should just
Focus on your own score.

On the p.S.A.T.S? 186.

That's
In the top ten percentile,

And that's very good.

(clicks tongue)
I got a card.

Mommy, i want to go home.

What about the sound system?

I'm not in the mood for sound
Anymore.

that look meant someone was
gonna be making an apology,

and that someone was me.

-- captions by vita--

(alih jay)
last night i had
A pleasant nightmare

desperate times call
for desperate measures...

Howdy.

and the shays were desperate
to get ryan back.

You talking to me?

I don't see anybody else
Around here, cowboy.

Really?
Because you hung up on me

Every time i tried to call you
Since our breakup.

And a woman's allowed to change
Her mind, isn't she?

Because i have.

In fact,
That's why i'm here.

I wanted to talk about us
Getting back together.

Really?
Really.

(grunts)
(deepened voice) don't fight. Keep that on.

Hold his hand.
I got it.

(tape crackling)

Get in! Come on!

Oh!

(engine starts)

Wait!

meanwhile, the werners' baby
had been rejected

from
his first-picked preschool,

so they decided to consult
a specialist.

We heard you're the best,
That you've helped others.

It's true.
I tutor talented toddlers,

And every one of them goes on
To be accepted

Into a highly competitive
Day care program.

So you'll help us?
I've gotta be frank with you.

Opus is getting a late start.

He has zero community service,
No political affiliations,

He's socially unaware.

He doesn't even wear
Special cause bracelets.

Oh, that's our fault.
We were led to believe

That the special cause bracelet
Trend was over.

It's never over.

Don't punish the boy
For his parents' sins.

You're his only hope.

Well, then he's hopeless,
I'm afraid.

You see, i'm not taking on
Any new clients at this time.

You don't get it.
(inhales deeply)

Jill, show him.
There's a picture. Show him.

That won't be necessary.
I'm sure that he's as...

(gasps)

Oh, the face.

Look at that
Little face-y face face.

(sighs)

Okay.

I will do it...

Oh!

On one condition--

You must not interfere
In any way.

My methods will seem
Unconventional

Because they are unconventional.

I need you to understand
That the odds are 100 to 1.

A single misstep and instead
Of going to price-cheney-pitkin,

Opus could end up
Working the pole

On "toddlers & tiaras."

We'll take those odds,
Any day.

Hello? Is anyone there?

Look, i might have to use
The bathroom.

Sooner rather than later,

(deepened voice) we're going to
Give you an afterschool snack,

But don't try to run away
And don't take our masks off.

(deepened voice)
We own you, bitch.

Okay. Okay. I won't give you
Any trouble. I understand.

(deepened voice)
Here. Eat this.

(crunches)

(mouth full) mmm. So good.

I can tell mrs. Shay's
Chicken salad anywhere.

(giggles, normal voice)
Oh, thanks, malik.

I added some ranch for zip.

(normal voice)
Darn it, sheila!

Thanks to your signature chicken
Salad, he knows who we are.

Plus lisa wasn't wearing a mask
When she lured me into the van.

You know, that's pretty cold,
Lisa, pretending you want

To get back together
Just so you could-- We need you to call

You tell them that we are
Holding you hostage

And we will exchange you
For our son ryan.

If they need proof of life,
We will happily cut off a digit.

Tell them no tricks,
Or we won't give you back.

And try
To sound terrified.

H-hi, dad.
Yeah, i'm at the shays'.

Uh, h-hold on.

They want to know
If i'm staying for dinner.

Darn. This is
A hostage situation, son!

I... Think they want me
To stay for dinner, yes.

Okay. Hold on.
My dad wants to talk to you.

Eh. Tell--tell him
I stepped out.

(whispers) take the call, fred.
Take the call!

Okay.

(clears throat)

Fred shay speaking.

Uh-huh.

Tonight?

I see.

Well, you should know
I won't be alone.

(whispers) that's good.
That's good. That's good.

Then we understand
Each other.

Very well.

Bye then.

Hmm. Great guy.

What did he say?
Will he give us back ryan?

They want us
To come to them.

Mnh-mnh. Smells like a trap.
We should leave malik home

And use him
As a bargaining chip.

No, his instructions
Were very clear.

We're to drop off malik tonight
For the hostage exchange.

Well, technically,
He said dinner.

Thai food.

Oh.

Dalia, tessa's here.

I don't want to see
Tessa altman.

She made me feel bad
About my p.S.A.T. Car.

I know. And maybe tessa
Was a teeny, tiny bit smug,

Which is so unusual
For her.

But i think that's why
She's here--to apologize.

Apology not accepted.

Listen here, dalia.

Tessa may score better on tests
And get better grades

And have opportunities to get
Into colleges based on merit,

But there are lots of things
You're great at, too.

Like what, mommy?

Well,
Tons and tons of stuff.

Name one thing, mommy.

Name one thing i'm better at
Than tessa altman.

Well...

(gasps)

I'm sure tessa altman is
Not as dope as you

On the dance floor.

Send her in.

Altmans!

(george) yeah?

Right. So i just wanted
To apologize

For repeatedly asking you
About your score,

And i'm sure

Whatever your score was,

It completely merited
A new, extremely expensive car.

Wasn't that nice, dalia?

Tessa apologized
By making an apology.

Yeah.

And i know it's important

To mommy and daddy altman
That we get along,

So i'd like you to invite you

To a hip-hop dance class
I'm taking.

(inhales deeply)
No, thanks.

Oh. Oh. Tessa.

Tessa.
What?

Dalia is trying.

(whispers)
Are you serious?

Look, i'm trying,
Dallas is trying,

And now even dalia
Is trying.

That only leaves one person
Who is not trying,

And i believe you know
Who i'm referring to.

I do. The girl who scored
In the top ten percentile

And got a card.

With a "d" at the end of it.

card.

Huh. Brick.

I did not expect that.

Okay, before anyone
Rings the bell,

We need to go over
A few scenarios. Scenarios? What scenarios?

Is this something we should've
Talked about in the car

Instead of playing "i spy"?
Okay, let's just say

There're gonna be a lot
Of moving parts here tonight.

We need to keep our cool if we
Want to bring home the bacon.

Mm.

(doorbell rings)

(door creaks)

Did you do your homework?

Not yet.
I was kidnapped.

Get in here.
Yes, dad.

Hi. Please come in.

Eugene has told us so much
About you.

Have we got
The wrong house?

Your son ryan changed
His name to eugene.

He doesn't want to be known
As a shay anymore.

I'm going down.

(thud)
Sheila?

Welcome back, shelia.

(moans)

You feeling better?
Oh.

You gave us a quite a scare.
She did.

Would you like
Some water?

Ryan. Hand over ryan,

In whatever condition he's in--

Battered, broken,
Brainwashed!

Eugene is otherwise occupied
Right now.

He'll be down in due time.

We're willing to pay.

Fred has $15,000 in cash taped
To his stomach.

(ryan) i don't care if he has
15 jillion jillions!

There's no way i'm going home

With a fake bunch
Of faking fakers!

Ryan, it's us,

Your parents.
We love you and we miss you.

Lisa wore a dress.

My name's eugene now.

Eugene goldfarb.

I'm no longer a shay.

I'm getting emancipated.

Oh, you don't happen to have
A crash mat?

Mnh-mnh.
Emancipation?

He can't just make that kind
Of proclamation, can he, fred?

I don't know.

Eugene wants to be
An emancipated minor, sheila.

He feels very strongly about it,
And since i'm a lawyer,

I started to help him
With the paperwork.

Lawyers, fred. Lawyers.
Lawyers. They're lawyers.

This is one of those scenarios
I was referring to.

You realize if the judge
Rules in your son's favor,

You'll both have to surrender
Your parental rights?

Surrender? Sheila?

No.
I'm suing you for freedom.

You hear me?
I am suing you to be free!

Well, should we eat?

Yeah. Might as well.
Sure. Yeah. Sounds good.

Okay, opus.

I don't want you to feel like
I'm judging you,

But for the next 45 minutes,

I'm going to be judging you
Harshly.

Grab and release.

Grab...

And release.

Now you try.

Here. Your turn.

A toi.

It's like you're doing
The first part of a push-up,

And then
You push yourself over.

while opus was being put

through the rigors
of more testing...

Stacking of the cups.

I'll give you
A zero on that.

i found myself having to jump
through a few hoops of my own.

What is going on?
I'm not sure.

(hip-hop music playing)

Hey, dalia.

Hey.

Yo. You got beef?

No.
Tessa and i got mad beef.

She tried to diss and dismiss
My intellect.

What intellect?

(all) ooh! Ooh!

There's only one way
To settle a beef

In beginner's hip-hop, y'all.

You know what time it is!

(students chanting) dance-off!
Dance-off! Dance-off!

Dance-off! Dance-off!

Dance-off! Dance-off!

(chuckles)

Is there deer meat in this?

(mouth full) no, it's--
It's vegetarian, lisa.

Thank you, lord.

So, uh, roses and thorns,
Shall we? Mm-hmm.

Let's talk about our roses
And our thorns.

Yeah.
It's what the obamas do.

Oh, boy.

Fred.

Well...

My rose was this fantastic
Crunchy spring roll.

(chuckles)

And my thorn was the sprinklers
Going off on my car

This morning right after
I'd had a hand-wax.

Oh, hell, no. I hate that.

I know, right?
High-five it.

All right.
(laughs)

Eugene.

Let's see.

My rose is hitting a home run
At baseball practice today.

(gasps)
Hey, way to go, son!

I'm not your son.

(cries)

And my thorn was finding out

My entire life...
(gasps)

Was... A... Lie!

Oh!

Ouch.

That's a-a deep thorn.

But it didn't happen today.

Edmond?

I'll allow it.
Damn it.

Why didn't you tell me
I was adopted?

We wanted to. We really did.

At first you were too young
To understand.

It took him three years
To learn english.

Then when he finally did learn,
The timing was never right.

How could you
Not have told me?

I was like a brother to you.

Ryan, ryan, take it easy,
Man.

We didn't want to lose you.

Well, you lost me.
You lost me big-time!

Oh.
What if i were To leave your mother?

Would you come home then?
Fred shay!

What?
It's just a thought.

it was kind of pathetic,

but when people feel
backed into a corner,

they tend to do
pathetic things.

case in point--this dance-off.

Go, dalia!

It's her birthday? Why are you
Saying it's her birthday?

It's not her birthday.

(drake's "the motto" playing)

(boy) ooh!
Come on.

I know whose birthday it isn't.

Hey. That's not fair.

She gets a crew? Why does
Only one of 'em get a crew?

That's gotta be against
Dance-off rules or something.

Go, dalia! Finish her!

What kind of a parent--

George, don't
"what kind of a parent" me.

You let tessa act
Any old way she pleases.

Well, at least i didn't
Buy her a car

For substandard
Test results.

I bought that car to make
My daughter happy.

It's not my fault
You're cheap.

Come on, tess! Turn it up!
Show 'em what you got!

You represent, girl!

(george) oh!

Money-making manhattan
In the house!

Oh! Someone checked a book
Out the library!

And tessa didn't have
A bunch

Of expensive dance lessons.
(laughs) No kidding.

Is she hip-hop homeschooled?

Like those ice cream cones
Of yours--

What'd you, save,
A nickel on those?

You did not
just go there.

Oh, yes, i did, daddy.

Well, you know what?

Some people don't need
To throw money at it, mama.

Some people are born
With what it takes. (jacket hits floor)

What, what!

You did not just gangsta me,
George altman.

I think i did, dallas.

I think i did.

You know who you remind me of?

Judge reinhold--

Without the reinhold.

Oh, yeah, well,
Judge reinhold you.

I said...

without the reinhold.

Yo, checkers.
Toss me that cap.

I judge you to be
A desperate enabler, dallas!

An enabler!

O.M.G.

We ruined
Their relationship.

Yeah.

Where did george get
That cardboard?

There you go, darling.

(edmond) i hope you guys
Like pudding,

'cause we have plenty of it,
And it's all chocolate.

Chocolate pudding, eugene.

Your favorite.

I love pudding.

I know you do.

Are you absolutely sure that you
Don't want to go home with us?

Sure, i'm sure.
I'm super sure.

Let's go, shays.

It's over.

Let him make a fort with
His cereal boxes at breakfast.

He likes that.

(chair scrapes floor)

We should do this again
Sometime.

sometimes seeing your parents
act like children

makes you realize
it's time to grow up.

Mommy, stop.
You're scaring me.

Well, he started it.

What? She did.
No.

we started it,
And now we're gonna finish it.

Guys, our beef is squashed.

We squashed it.

The beef was squashed.

The dance-off never fails.

Class dismissed!

It's over, george.
It's over, mommy.

And i'm gonna need you
To apologize to dallas now,

Because i'm trying,
And dalia is trying,

And the only person
Who isn't trying is you.

And dallas. Look at her.
She's not trying.

She's--she's just recharging
Her robot.

I sound like
A crazy person.

Yeah?

Yeah. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I think i--

I think
I got carried away.

I shouldn't have
Gangsta'd you.

That's a--an aggressive move

Best reserved for
An "electric boogaloo" reboot.

I apologize, too, george.

I am one of the unlucky few

Whose ugly side
Comes out on the dance floor.

No.
No, it's true. I get real mouthy.

You do. (laughs)

You know what?
Our girls are gonna fight.

That doesn't mean
We have to.

I know you probably don't agree
With everything i do with dalia,

And i wouldn't let tessa wear
Half the clothes

You allow her
To run around town in,

But i know
You're a good dad.

And no one has a bigger heart
Than you, dallas,

Even if your robot needs
A little oil.

Oh, yeah? You gonna oil
My robot, daddy?

Not in front of the kids.

I'm sorry, but there's
No easy way to say this.

Opus has the brain development
Of a 6-month-old child.

(sighs)

Are you absolutely sure?

I'm afraid so.

Price-cheney-pitkin?
Is out, of course.

I could suggest a facility
That could house the boy--

Someplace with experience

Dealing with the special needs
Of the blindingly average.

No. We couldn't do that.

I'm not sure
How we'll tell him.

Sadly, i doubt
He'll even understand.

I don't care
That he's not a genius.

He's a beautiful boy,
And we love him.

Oh.

Do you see that?
(coos)

He spelled out d-d-s.

He understands
That his father has

A doctor
Of dental surgery degree,

Not a d.M.D., a mistake
That many people make.

He probably just grabbed
The blocks at random.

You're random!
Oh, lashing out.

Opus?
(fusses)

Can you spell out
Mommy's career?

Author.

Find an "a."

That's right.
Yes, right there.

Or an "s."
Self-published author.

Oh.
(stomach rumbles)

Did you eat enough dinner?

I don't love vegetables.

Seemed like you didn't really
Love dessert tonight, either.

Yeah. Usually my favorite part
About dinner is dessert,

And my favorite dessert
Is pudding,

And my favorite pudding flavor
Is chocolate,

But my absolute favorite part of
Chocolate pudding is the skin,

And tonight's pudding
Was skinless.

But don't tell our mom. I don't
Want to hurt her feelings.

It won't.

(sighs)

I love pudding skin so much,

My old mom used to make it
For me all the time.

My old father and sister would
Usually give me their skin, too.

Because they love you.

Yeah.

I'll just ask
My new black mom

To make pudding with skin on it
From now on.

Yeah, see,
That's not gonna happen.

My parents make what they like,
And they like skinless pudding.

Huh.

Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org

(crash)

Andie macdowell,
What are you doing here?

Fred, wake up.
Did you hear that?

I did.

Do you think...

He's back.

Our boy is back.

Hey.

Eugene's leaving.
Where's he going?

It's ryan, you guys.

I'm going to bed.

Skin is thicker than water.

I don't think
That's the correct saying.

No. No.

(whispers) leave it alone.
He's standing on the stairs,

Listening.
(whispers) if that's true,

Then the only thing i want him
To hear is this--

I love you, son.

(whispers) if you're listening,
I love you, too.

(whispers) if you're listening,

It's blood that's thicker
Than water.

It's blood.

Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0