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00:00:01,089 --> 00:00:03,058
ANNOUNCER (V.O.) At
Mega-Melt's Sizzling Hot Plates...
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00:00:03,158 --> 00:00:04,593
we know you want your fajitas...
3
00:00:04,692 --> 00:00:06,827
extra steamy, with extra sizzle.
4
00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:08,363
That's why we've got
the hottest plates in town!
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00:00:08,463 --> 00:00:12,334
Come on down and try one of
our fiery flaming fajita platters!
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00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:16,571
Guaranteed to melt your
heart, and scorch your taste buds!
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00:00:16,671 --> 00:00:18,339
Mega-Melt's Sizzling Hot Plates...
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00:00:18,439 --> 00:00:20,875
Sizzle is our bizzle!
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00:00:27,850 --> 00:00:28,784
Hey, what the...
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00:00:28,884 --> 00:00:31,420
I definitely ordered before that dweeb.
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00:00:31,519 --> 00:00:32,720
Aw yeah!
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00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:34,780
Sir, I must warn you, this
plate is extremely hot.
13
00:00:34,823 --> 00:00:36,192
Shut up, nerd!
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00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,577
All right, just...
just sign right there.
15
00:00:55,677 --> 00:00:57,746
All right, sign right there.
16
00:00:58,013 --> 00:01:01,416
And... sign right there.
17
00:01:01,516 --> 00:01:04,052
You know what? We'll do that
another time, if that's okay.
18
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:05,853
Alrighty then, we all set?
19
00:01:05,954 --> 00:01:08,056
Whoa, what's your rush there, champ?
20
00:01:08,156 --> 00:01:09,824
You just made your first
child support payment.
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00:01:09,925 --> 00:01:10,991
You get visitation rights.
22
00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:13,394
Visitation with Charlotte? When?
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00:01:13,494 --> 00:01:14,963
Today, 3:00 to 8:00 PM.
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00:01:15,064 --> 00:01:18,433
I don't know what the heck to
do with a 15-year-old girl.
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00:01:18,532 --> 00:01:20,936
Well, I got pamphlets here...
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00:01:21,035 --> 00:01:23,237
to tell you what not to
do with a 15-year-old girl.
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00:01:23,338 --> 00:01:25,874
Read that, it's great.
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00:01:25,973 --> 00:01:28,243
Uh... I'm gonna be honest with you.
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00:01:28,342 --> 00:01:30,077
I'm a little low on funds right now.
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00:01:30,178 --> 00:01:34,716
Vernon, I'm gonna take off
my friend hat for a little bit...
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00:01:34,815 --> 00:01:37,118
here and I'm gonna
put on my hard-ass hat.
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00:01:37,217 --> 00:01:39,854
Your visitation is a
right, we know that.
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00:01:39,954 --> 00:01:41,523
But it's also a privilege.
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00:01:41,622 --> 00:01:43,324
And it's a privilege that
can be taken away from you...
35
00:01:43,424 --> 00:01:46,028
faster than you can say Mitchell Doily.
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00:01:46,127 --> 00:01:49,163
Will you... will you say Mitchell Doily?
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00:01:49,263 --> 00:01:50,264
Mitchell Doily?
38
00:01:50,364 --> 00:01:53,802
Ah, that's cool... you said my name.
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00:01:53,901 --> 00:01:56,303
Anyway, yeah, one bad
word from your baby momma...
40
00:01:56,404 --> 00:01:57,773
and that's it, kiddo.
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00:01:57,872 --> 00:02:02,276
Which means you drop 'em off,
or you pick 'em up one minute late
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00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:03,344
and that's it, you know?
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00:02:03,445 --> 00:02:06,513
You might never see your daughter again.
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00:02:06,614 --> 00:02:08,250
Hm.
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00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:11,119
Whoa... heavy! Friend hat back on.
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00:02:11,219 --> 00:02:15,823
Come on, get out of here, go
live your life, you crazy nut!
47
00:02:15,923 --> 00:02:17,791
And don't be late!
48
00:02:17,892 --> 00:02:19,228
Seriously... seriously, don't be late.
49
00:02:19,328 --> 00:02:22,064
(PHONE RINGS)
50
00:02:26,702 --> 00:02:27,803
Hey, man.
51
00:02:27,903 --> 00:02:28,637
VERNON (OVER PHONE) Hey, Walt.
52
00:02:28,737 --> 00:02:30,572
What's going on, big dog?
53
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,340
I just had the craziest dream, man.
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00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,811
Great! Can't wait to
not hear about that.
55
00:02:35,911 --> 00:02:37,831
Hey, I just found out
I'm supposed to hang out...
56
00:02:37,878 --> 00:02:39,148
with Charlotte today.
57
00:02:39,247 --> 00:02:41,250
Don't suppose you can
spot me a little cash...
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00:02:41,350 --> 00:02:42,650
so maybe I could take her out to lunch?
59
00:02:42,751 --> 00:02:45,287
Sorry, man, I'm a little low on
the U.S. currency right now.
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00:02:45,387 --> 00:02:47,288
I guess I'm gonna
have to get creative then.
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00:02:47,388 --> 00:02:49,490
Thanks, bud.
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00:02:49,590 --> 00:02:52,327
(MUSIC PLAYING)
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00:03:02,570 --> 00:03:04,872
RADIO HOST (V.O.) Welcome
back to Paranormal Pick-Me-Up!
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00:03:04,972 --> 00:03:06,708
Where we delve deep into questions...
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00:03:06,808 --> 00:03:09,578
most people just don't want to ask.
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00:03:31,299 --> 00:03:32,400
RADIO HOST (V.O.) We're
talking to a caller...
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00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:35,337
in Kentucky with a
confirmed Squatch sighting.
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00:03:35,436 --> 00:03:37,505
This guy witnessed all
the classic signs...
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00:03:37,606 --> 00:03:38,940
of Squatch activity!
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00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,644
Broken trees, animal
carcasses, and a strong, pungent odor.
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00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,446
CALLER (V.O.) I don't think
there were animal carcasses.
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00:03:45,547 --> 00:03:47,107
RADIO HOST (V.O.) Oh, I bet there were!
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00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:50,119
CALLER (V.O.) Yeah, I
guess there coulda been.
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00:03:52,086 --> 00:03:54,788
My man... it's Vernon.
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00:03:54,889 --> 00:03:57,209
STARMAN (OVER PHONE) Vernon Brown?
I thought you were dead!
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00:03:57,224 --> 00:03:59,858
Yeah, my recent incarceration...
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00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:01,228
has put a dent in my
performance schedule.
78
00:04:01,329 --> 00:04:04,199
Yeah, I really need you
to find me a gig, Denny.
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00:04:04,298 --> 00:04:07,536
Eh, I told you, you call
me Starman, all right?
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00:04:07,635 --> 00:04:10,938
'Cause you are a
star, and I am your man.
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00:04:11,038 --> 00:04:12,039
VERNON (OVER PHONE) Well, my man...
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00:04:12,139 --> 00:04:14,642
I need to bring in some fast cash.
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00:04:14,742 --> 00:04:17,679
My current gig doesn't
exactly have the best tips...
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00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:19,447
if you know what I'm saying.
85
00:04:25,521 --> 00:04:27,401
Well, I've got a
Quincea?era in Bowling Green...
86
00:04:27,488 --> 00:04:30,090
that's looking for an Elvis.
You speak that Espan-yo?
87
00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,659
Not gonna work for me, hoss.
88
00:04:31,759 --> 00:04:34,463
Seems I can't cross state
lines for a little while.
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00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:36,697
You know, I'm just gonna
have to work my magic, then.
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00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:38,499
But I got you, okay!
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00:04:38,599 --> 00:04:43,104
You just sit back and
you let the Starman drive.
92
00:04:43,204 --> 00:04:44,505
You're gonna love this one.
93
00:04:44,606 --> 00:04:47,476
Dad! I told you, I'm
doing business in here!
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00:04:47,575 --> 00:04:52,147
This is not your office,
Denny! This is the model R.V.
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00:04:52,247 --> 00:04:55,817
Which I can get you in
for zero percent financing.
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00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:57,318
And you're supposed to be selling it...
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00:04:57,418 --> 00:05:01,122
not filling it with the stench
of failure and Nachos Supremos.
98
00:05:01,223 --> 00:05:03,343
I told you, you know, those
are Nachos el Grande, Dad.
99
00:05:03,358 --> 00:05:07,261
And I don't need to
sell your stupid R.V.'s!
100
00:05:07,361 --> 00:05:09,797
Because I'm gonna make
it in the music business!
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00:05:09,897 --> 00:05:12,133
Let's just step outside.
102
00:05:12,233 --> 00:05:16,437
- I'm so sorry.
- You don't support me!
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00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:19,208
(KNOCKING)
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00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,078
You hurt my baby...
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00:05:23,178 --> 00:05:25,079
and I will make sure you
can never have babies again.
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00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:28,150
Well, howdy, don't you
girls look pretty today.
107
00:05:29,985 --> 00:05:31,752
- Bye, Mom.
- You ready to go, Charlotte?
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00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,722
It's gonna be fun.
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00:05:33,822 --> 00:05:35,322
You'd better act responsible,
Vernon and have her back here...
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00:05:35,423 --> 00:05:39,026
no later than 8:00
o'clock, or I will call the police.
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00:05:39,127 --> 00:05:41,196
Baby, you just text me if
you need anything, okay?
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00:05:41,296 --> 00:05:44,966
(PHONE CHIMES)
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00:05:45,065 --> 00:05:46,665
No, I can't get you
out of it, all right?
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00:05:46,668 --> 00:05:48,435
But it'll be over soon.
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00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:52,173
Oh, you're a gentleman, since when?
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00:05:52,272 --> 00:05:53,841
Well, Debbie, I don't
believe we've ever had the chance...
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00:05:53,942 --> 00:05:56,302
to go on a proper date, but
I'd be happy to change all that.
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00:05:56,377 --> 00:06:01,416
Us? Please, just so
happens, I have a date tonight.
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00:06:01,515 --> 00:06:03,885
Ronnie's taking me to a fancy dinner.
120
00:06:03,985 --> 00:06:04,519
He is?
121
00:06:04,618 --> 00:06:06,086
Yes, he is.
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00:06:06,187 --> 00:06:07,722
That's nice.
123
00:06:07,822 --> 00:06:10,192
No wonder you're wearing
that pretty pink lipstick.
124
00:06:14,529 --> 00:06:17,398
I'm a firecracker You
better back up off
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00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:20,601
Because I'm a
firecracker Yeah I'm about to go off
126
00:06:20,702 --> 00:06:23,372
Because I'm a
firecracker Y'all gonna lit my fuse
127
00:06:23,471 --> 00:06:26,440
I'm about to blow it
up I can't lose I refuse
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00:06:26,541 --> 00:06:27,707
Because I'm a firecracker
129
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:29,076
You're taking me out on a date.
130
00:06:29,176 --> 00:06:31,244
And it better not be where we always go!
131
00:06:31,344 --> 00:06:33,313
Cool. I know just the place.
132
00:06:33,413 --> 00:06:35,550
Really?
133
00:06:35,649 --> 00:06:37,685
That's right.
134
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:40,354
Well, hell, I'm gonna
wear my good shorts!
135
00:06:40,454 --> 00:06:43,466
Because I'm a
firecracker Yeah I'm about to go off
136
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:45,393
Because I'm a
firecracker Y'all gonna lit my fuse
137
00:06:45,493 --> 00:06:48,296
I'm about to blow it
up I can't lose I refuse
138
00:06:48,397 --> 00:06:51,164
(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
139
00:06:51,264 --> 00:06:54,101
All right! I love this tune!
140
00:06:56,204 --> 00:06:59,941
Not your thing, huh? What
kinda music you listen to?
141
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:02,077
Nobody you've ever heard of.
142
00:07:02,176 --> 00:07:05,179
Now, come on, try me.
You might be surprised.
143
00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:06,815
I know a thing or two about music!
144
00:07:06,914 --> 00:07:09,684
I've never listened to
your stuff, not really my thing.
145
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,255
We don't even need music, really.
146
00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:18,260
We could just talk! Get
to know each other.
147
00:07:19,394 --> 00:07:20,360
You ready to have some fun?
148
00:07:20,461 --> 00:07:26,635
Yeah... in three hours and 45 minutes.
149
00:07:29,937 --> 00:07:31,450
Ouch.
150
00:07:33,890 --> 00:07:36,860
See? Just take that, put it in there.
151
00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:41,664
Pull it back, aim and
fire. Rock and fire, as they say.
152
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:45,301
Ah, you hit the table.
153
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:49,707
Whew! Dare to be dazzled, girl.
154
00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:54,879
Got 'em! Two crawdads,
one cup! Woo-hoo!
155
00:07:57,180 --> 00:07:59,350
That sh[BLEEP] don't happen by luck.
156
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:03,387
- Woo-hoo! Yah!
- (TIRES SQUEALING)
157
00:08:03,487 --> 00:08:06,790
Woo-hoo!
158
00:08:06,889 --> 00:08:10,226
Are we having fun yet? Woo!
159
00:08:10,326 --> 00:08:11,860
Hear ye, hear ye.
160
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:15,764
This meeting of the
Paranormal Men's Society is now in order.
161
00:08:15,864 --> 00:08:18,368
Hey, before we get started...
162
00:08:18,468 --> 00:08:20,148
I had some pretty
compelling thoughts on...
163
00:08:20,237 --> 00:08:22,472
"Non-standard Uses of
Aluminum Foil" from last week's...
164
00:08:22,571 --> 00:08:24,239
Yeah, yeah, hold on there, Walt.
165
00:08:24,339 --> 00:08:27,710
Because we have a last
minute addition to the agenda.
166
00:08:27,810 --> 00:08:29,679
Who ordered the steak?
167
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:32,248
Yes, that's for the table.
168
00:08:32,349 --> 00:08:34,852
Table steak is not a
thing. Stop ordering it.
169
00:08:38,722 --> 00:08:41,191
Sorry, I'm late! I got a grappling
hook stuck in a tree.
170
00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:42,725
Did we kick him out yet?
171
00:08:42,825 --> 00:08:46,462
Dammit, Kenny, you just stole my moment!
172
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:47,563
What?
173
00:08:47,663 --> 00:08:48,931
Nothing.
174
00:08:49,032 --> 00:08:51,868
Just go get the urine for
the chupacabra stakeout, okay?
175
00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:53,408
Yeah, those chupacabra are coming...
176
00:08:53,435 --> 00:08:54,738
across the border in droves.
177
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,272
That's right, thanks, Obama.
178
00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:57,807
Yeah, thanks, Obama.
179
00:08:57,907 --> 00:08:59,743
Just go.
180
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,444
We're kicking you out, Walt.
181
00:09:01,543 --> 00:09:02,878
Why?
182
00:09:02,979 --> 00:09:06,650
You shot a lumberjack in the
neck with a tranq dart, dude.
183
00:09:09,918 --> 00:09:13,522
It was an honest mistake.
He looked just like a Squatch!
184
00:09:13,623 --> 00:09:18,094
P.M.S., we have a
reputation to uphold, okay?
185
00:09:18,194 --> 00:09:21,665
I got the deer urine. Watch the steak.
186
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,102
It's gonna be a good stake-out tonight.
187
00:09:25,201 --> 00:09:28,004
Look, Walt, we can't have you
be a part of our group anymore.
188
00:09:28,104 --> 00:09:30,574
Okay?
189
00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,576
You're making us all look crazy.
190
00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:34,009
This is ridiculous.
191
00:09:34,109 --> 00:09:37,914
Just... all right, please
rise for the Dismemberment Ritual.
192
00:09:41,984 --> 00:09:44,086
All right, forget it, forget it!
193
00:09:44,186 --> 00:09:47,289
Just please sit for
the Dismemberment Ritual.
194
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:48,725
Just give me the scissors.
195
00:09:52,161 --> 00:09:53,796
Come here.
196
00:09:58,469 --> 00:09:59,669
Wouldn't it just be easier if I...
197
00:09:59,768 --> 00:10:03,106
Ssh! We're in a ritual right now.
198
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:16,685
You can no longer be a
part of the unexplained.
199
00:10:16,786 --> 00:10:19,957
Go. Be understood.
200
00:10:27,097 --> 00:10:29,633
All right!
201
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:30,801
Are we here? Can I
take the blindfold off?
202
00:10:30,901 --> 00:10:33,870
No, no, no, not yet!
203
00:10:33,969 --> 00:10:36,306
Let me get the door for you, honey!
204
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:42,778
We made it.
205
00:10:43,146 --> 00:10:46,750
Dammit, Ronnie, I can
smell the fah-jeeta meat.
206
00:10:47,816 --> 00:10:50,186
After you, my lady.
207
00:10:52,189 --> 00:10:53,957
I don't know why I washed my hair.
208
00:10:54,056 --> 00:10:57,459
Welcome to Tepid's Lukewarm Grille!
209
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:58,862
The only reason you love this dump...
210
00:10:58,961 --> 00:11:00,496
is because they give
you free food for life.
211
00:11:00,597 --> 00:11:03,232
Well, they did burn my fingerprints
off pretty good!
212
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,735
Least they can do is
give me some free food.
213
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,003
Oh, um, excuse me, sir, I'm
gonna have to ask you...
214
00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:09,806
to put that shirt back on.
215
00:11:09,906 --> 00:11:12,342
I'm gonna have to ask you
to put that shirt back on.
216
00:11:12,441 --> 00:11:15,546
Um, that's Ronnie.
217
00:11:15,646 --> 00:11:18,782
He doesn't have to wear a
shirt since the "fajita incident."
218
00:11:18,882 --> 00:11:20,016
Hello, Ronnie.
219
00:11:20,115 --> 00:11:22,985
Oh, my god, I learned about
you in orientation.
220
00:11:23,085 --> 00:11:28,590
Time out. What's that
buncha dweebs doing in my booth?
221
00:11:28,691 --> 00:11:30,692
Uh... it's her first communion.
222
00:11:30,792 --> 00:11:32,428
If you could maybe make an exception...
223
00:11:32,528 --> 00:11:33,095
We gonna have a problem?
224
00:11:33,195 --> 00:11:35,298
Put your hand up.
225
00:11:36,599 --> 00:11:37,767
Put it up!
226
00:11:38,602 --> 00:11:41,605
Bring it down. Bring it lower.
227
00:11:41,705 --> 00:11:43,206
Hee-yaw!
228
00:11:43,306 --> 00:11:47,377
Now imagine that... was your face.
229
00:11:51,849 --> 00:11:52,349
I'm sorry.
230
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:56,986
(PHONE RINGING)
231
00:11:57,085 --> 00:11:59,955
Starman! Tell me something good!
232
00:12:00,106 --> 00:12:02,291
STARMAN: My tests came
back mostly negative.
233
00:12:02,392 --> 00:12:03,593
I meant about me.
234
00:12:03,692 --> 00:12:06,628
Oh, right... no, got
you. I got you a gig.
235
00:12:06,729 --> 00:12:07,262
Great! When?
236
00:12:07,363 --> 00:12:09,933
Uh, ten minutes.
237
00:12:10,032 --> 00:12:12,267
Oh, c'mon, man. I'm a
little tied up right now.
238
00:12:12,368 --> 00:12:14,003
It's a helluva gig.
239
00:12:14,104 --> 00:12:17,273
It's at a supper club! I
mean, you don't want to miss it.
240
00:12:17,373 --> 00:12:19,609
No, seriously, please don't miss it.
241
00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:22,177
I really... I did you a solid here.
242
00:12:22,278 --> 00:12:23,979
All right.
243
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,715
Hey, let me ask you something.
244
00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:27,984
How pissed will your momma be...
245
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,564
if I get you home just a little late?
246
00:12:29,585 --> 00:12:32,388
You must really love jail.
247
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:03,017
You might not want to tell
your momma about this part.
248
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:14,362
Is that guy... dead?
249
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:19,267
I believe he might be.
250
00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:23,537
There he is! My money-maker!
251
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:25,506
Did you book me a funeral?
252
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:29,242
No! Of course not!
253
00:13:29,343 --> 00:13:31,345
A funeral, that's about death.
254
00:13:31,445 --> 00:13:34,782
This is a biker wake. It's
a "Celebration of Life!"
255
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:37,318
You, my friend, are set to
make a pretty penny here.
256
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,220
What the hell am I doing in this joint?
257
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,955
Oh, c'mon, Vernon! What, do
you really want to deny Spider...
258
00:13:43,056 --> 00:13:45,725
his last, final, dying wish?
259
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:50,498
Plus, I brought you a surprise!
260
00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:53,066
You take that off the king himself?
261
00:13:53,167 --> 00:13:55,536
Naw, let's just say I
borrowed it off a mannequin...
262
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,104
outside of Memphis.
263
00:13:57,205 --> 00:13:59,040
Just for you, hm?
264
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,773
Uh... excuse me!
265
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:05,345
Thank you!
266
00:14:05,446 --> 00:14:07,147
Nice. Looks like I'm driving.
267
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,415
Let's go get you suited up, Vernon.
268
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,018
Say, is there any chance I
could get my cut up front?
269
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:12,720
Hey, I gotta go to work now.
270
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:17,590
So I'm gonna set you right
here beside this nice lady.
271
00:14:17,691 --> 00:14:20,761
You seem very... protective.
272
00:14:20,861 --> 00:14:22,328
C'mon, Vernon, let's go, buddy.
273
00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:23,563
Protect her, please.
274
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,566
[VERNON] Thank you!
275
00:14:25,666 --> 00:14:26,633
Hi.
276
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:29,504
You want me to pierce something?
277
00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,540
[DEBBIE] I mean, what
could Vernon possibly know...
278
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,742
about being a father, anyway?
279
00:14:35,843 --> 00:14:37,211
I'm the one who raised her.
280
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:40,446
Day-in and out, while he was
romping all over the country...
281
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,849
snorting who-knows-what
off of who-knows-who...
282
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:45,719
all while Charlotte's
bawling her bald, little head off...
283
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,588
and vomiting on my favorite LA Gears.
284
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,122
Bless her little heart.
285
00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:51,758
I guarantee you she is
having the worst time...
286
00:14:51,859 --> 00:14:54,394
ever and cannot wait for it to be over.
287
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:57,697
Ah, babe, you're
ruinin' my food mood here...
288
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:59,966
and you know I wore my fat pants.
289
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,369
I didn't come here to talk about Vernon.
290
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,938
I've got something else on my mind.
291
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:04,805
Is it about boats?
292
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,672
No.
293
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:09,777
Okay, then fine, what is it?
294
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,979
Never mind.
295
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:13,847
Here we go!
296
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:16,450
Two sizzling fajita platters.
297
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:17,852
All right!
298
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:20,119
Feel free to touch your
skillets as much as you want...
299
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:23,056
with no risk of physical injury.
300
00:15:23,157 --> 00:15:24,492
(SIZZLING NOISE)
301
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,191
Brenda, could you turn your sizzle down?
302
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,194
I can't hear myself think!
303
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:30,631
Oh...
304
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:33,232
[DEBBIE] Thank you.
305
00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:36,571
(MUSIC PLAYING)
306
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:58,158
Hi, there. Dale, right?
307
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,196
I just wanted to come
by and apologize for...
308
00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:05,633
shooting you in the neck
with a tranquilizer dart.
309
00:16:05,733 --> 00:16:09,270
My friends are right, it
was a stupid thing to do.
310
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:13,139
I thought you were a sasquatch.
311
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:15,308
You probably think I'm crazy.
312
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,313
You're not crazy, man.
313
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:25,119
Thank you. Really means a lot.
314
00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:37,097
RADIO HOST (V.O.) This
guy witnessed all...
315
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:38,933
the classic signs of Squatch activity!
316
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:42,869
Animal carcasses. (ECHOING)
317
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:45,371
Broken trees. (ECHOING)
318
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,675
And a strong, pungent odor.
319
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:51,078
DALE (V.O.) You're not crazy.
320
00:16:51,846 --> 00:16:56,016
Spider, he was a rider.
321
00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:57,017
Yeah!
322
00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,319
He was a warrior.
323
00:16:58,418 --> 00:16:59,585
Yeah!
324
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,021
And we can all agree, he
was a freaking angel...
325
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,922
on the dance floor.
326
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:04,257
Amen, brother.
327
00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:07,360
No one could take six
bullets to the face like Sp...
328
00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:14,067
Spider said if he was
ever gonna leave this earth...
329
00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:17,705
he was gonna get sung
out by Johnny Cash.
330
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,773
Johnny Cash was booked this week...
331
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:26,246
but he also kinda liked
Elvis, so... let's bring him out!
332
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,619
No... way.
333
00:17:42,412 --> 00:17:44,413
Hell, if your
daughter wasn't sitting here...
334
00:17:44,512 --> 00:17:45,680
I'd throw my panties at you!
335
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:47,049
But I am, so please don't.
336
00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,851
Oh, I ain't wearing no panties.
337
00:17:48,952 --> 00:17:51,453
Hey, I'm sorry those
people wanted all those encores.
338
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:53,655
You okay? What time is it?
339
00:17:53,755 --> 00:17:56,224
Oh, uh... I actually don't know, um...
340
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,627
Crap.
341
00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:59,261
Uh-oh, I'm in big trouble, ain't I?
342
00:17:59,361 --> 00:18:02,964
Vernon, you get over here! Oh, man!
343
00:18:03,065 --> 00:18:05,869
I could kiss you...
344
00:18:05,969 --> 00:18:07,003
but I do have this
little predicament on my lip...
345
00:18:07,103 --> 00:18:08,938
hasn't quite healed yet.
346
00:18:09,038 --> 00:18:10,039
Anyway, it's payday!
347
00:18:10,138 --> 00:18:12,908
Wish you'd a showed
up a couple hours ago.
348
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:14,143
I had to find out the hard
way that catching crawdads...
349
00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:17,146
ain't the daddy-daughter
good time I thought it was.
350
00:18:17,245 --> 00:18:20,115
Say, Vernon, I never
knew that you had a daughter.
351
00:18:20,215 --> 00:18:23,619
Believe me, neither did I.
352
00:18:25,954 --> 00:18:29,958
Hey, baby... you wanna
give me a private encore?
353
00:18:30,059 --> 00:18:31,327
Ma'am, I am truly flattered...
354
00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:34,563
but I gotta get this young
lady right here to the house!
355
00:18:34,664 --> 00:18:35,464
Come on, baby, we gotta go.
356
00:18:35,565 --> 00:18:36,766
Nah, we got time.
357
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,600
Say, has anybody ever told you...
358
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,937
that you could definitely
pass for a young Tanya Tucker?
359
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,069
Hey, it's 8:30, we're in big trouble.
360
00:18:42,169 --> 00:18:44,239
Your momma's gonna kill me.
361
00:18:44,339 --> 00:18:45,040
We gotta get out of
here. Get all your stuff.
362
00:18:45,139 --> 00:18:49,845
Let me see if I got you...
363
00:18:49,945 --> 00:18:51,079
What are you grinning
about? Did I miss something?
364
00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:53,116
Don't worry, I texted mom.
365
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:57,552
Wait a minute, that
mean you covered for me?
366
00:18:57,653 --> 00:19:01,391
No, I covered for me. But
it was fun watching you sweat.
367
00:19:06,828 --> 00:19:09,299
Goodnight, Charlotte, I had fun.
368
00:19:12,467 --> 00:19:14,135
You've got quite the young lady there.
369
00:19:14,235 --> 00:19:15,870
See, that's what I was
doing while you were out...
370
00:19:15,971 --> 00:19:17,451
flushing your career down the toilet.
371
00:19:17,539 --> 00:19:20,876
Well, you did a great
job bringing her up.
372
00:19:20,976 --> 00:19:22,210
Thank you.
373
00:19:24,178 --> 00:19:26,381
Are you looking at my boobs?
374
00:19:26,482 --> 00:19:28,017
Was I?
375
00:19:28,117 --> 00:19:31,287
Well, I reckon some things
were meant to be appreciated.
376
00:19:37,125 --> 00:19:40,396
How was it...? Was it bad?
377
00:19:40,495 --> 00:19:42,531
Was he awful?
378
00:19:42,632 --> 00:19:45,301
Eh, he wasn't terrible.
379
00:19:46,835 --> 00:19:48,404
What do you mean, it wasn't terrible?
380
00:19:48,503 --> 00:19:49,870
What'd you guys do?
381
00:19:49,972 --> 00:19:52,407
I don't know, Mom, it was fine.
382
00:19:52,508 --> 00:19:53,775
Was he responsible?
383
00:19:53,875 --> 00:19:55,111
Yes.
384
00:19:55,211 --> 00:19:58,814
Why are you wearing lipstick?
385
00:19:58,914 --> 00:20:00,348
Don't you worry about me.
386
00:20:00,448 --> 00:20:02,550
You just get to your homework, Missy.
387
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:04,219
Whatever you say.
388
00:20:05,353 --> 00:20:09,311
389
00:20:09,361 --> 00:20:13,911
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