All language subtitles for Spy s02e08 Double Oh.eng

Didier? C'est Sophie.

It has been over a week since
I hear from you, are you OK?

Please call me back, mon
amour. That might be tricky.

But I am telling you the truth.

We know the Koreans are trying
to buy weapons through you.

Yes, and I passed this
information on to the MI5.

What are you talking about?
Three days ago, in Kuala Lumpur.

Are you telling me you told
this to an MI5 agent in Malaysia?

Of course. Who was this agent?
A big guy with a stupid face.

Can you remember his name? Tim. Elliot.

SPY S02E08 Codename: Double Oh
Sync, corrected by mercurian

OK, settle down. Is it true?

Is someone out there
impersonating an MI5 agent?

No of course not.

It's just, ah, Tim's body double.

My what now? Didn't I mention that? No.

I'm pretty sure...

Sir. OK, yeah well, you've...

You've all got body doubles out there.

They don't actually look like
us, right? Course they do.

Yeah, yeah, same looks, same
blood type, same fingerprints.

Here, pass these out.

It's a good deal for you guys, you know,

because you don't travel
as much and if a mission is

suicidally dangerous, who cares
if one of them gets killed?

Their families?

What the hell is this? Yeah, we
can't always find an exact match.

You don't say. My guy is amazing!

He's made over 60 kills
in the last two years.

OK, well my guy stole nuclear
plans from the Iranians last year.

What did your guy do?

Hey Tim, your double's in London at
the moment, if you want to meet him.

Really? Yeah, I can set it up. OK.

What shall I wear?

I hope you've enjoyed your visit
to St Benjamin's! Not particularly.

You know this, perhaps the
Brain Alliance will soon be

welcoming one of our
pupils to its noble ranks.

You'll find out presently.

Of course, just that I would be
prepared to smooth the path, as it were.

I'm sorry, are you trying
to bribe me? I am, yes.

Mr Quil, I'm the president
of the foremost intellectual

society in northern Europe.

The criterion of admission is
the brilliance of one's mind,

not the brilliance of one's silver.

Is that a no, then?

However I suppose I can disclose
that I have, in fact, selected

a St Benjamin pupil to join the alliance.

Really? Bet I can guess who it is.

You really are a very dull man.

You remember Marcus, of course?

I trust Mr Quil has been taking
good care of you. I suppose so.

Do you want to sit down while I
make the announcement? I'm fine.

So, children, we come to
the results. Indeed we do.

Some of you will be disappointed,
but to you I simply say this,

"A fool thinks himself to be wise,

"but a wise man knows himself to be a fool".

So true.

So without further ado, the
Brain Alliance is delighted to

welcome its newest member, Arthur Norris.

What?

Huh? Come on up here, Arthur.
There's been a mistake.

I don't make mistakes. But Arthur's an idiot.

It's true, he's a very stupid boy.

Well, I subscribe to Einstein's
contention that the true

sign of intelligence is not
knowledge but imagination.

He deep-fried his shoes in Home Economics.

Wonderful.

I demand a recount. All right.

No, Arthur still wins. But you
didn't do anything? It's all in here.

I wouldn't expect you to
understand. Now, would you mind?

Say "Nietzsche".

We actually have very similar backgrounds.

He got a PhD in chemistry,

and I got a D in carpentry.

He was in the navy and I like the
colour blue. Are you listening? No.

You still disappointed with your
double? She infiltrated al-Qaeda.

Cool. As a man. At least you got
a double, I don't even get one.

Here, take mine,
you have similar facial hair.

Didier, this is Sophie
again. Why this silence?

Are you breaking up with me? Maybe
you are with another woman right now.

Well, perhaps I too should
sleep with some other man.

Hello? Who is this?

Some other man. What? I'm a
friend of Didier's. Where is he?

I want to speak to him.

Yeah, he's a little tied up right now.

So it is true, he's breaking up with me?

I'm not going to lie to you,
he doesn't look happy. Mon dieu!

Look, I think it's probably best if we meet.

I'll come to your apartment at seven?

But how do you know where I
live? Let's just call it destiny.

Notice anything different
from last time? You're dressed.

It was an honest scheduling error.

Look, no mess. Just have to tap in...

Elliot.

File not found. You've lost our
notes. Yeah. What a surprise.

Barbara. How much longer do we
have to put up with this idiot?

What's the matter with you? You've
been in a bad mood all afternoon.

He wasn't chosen for the Brain Alliance. Oh.

Did you want to say something? No.

No, you did your best,
it's all anyone can ask.

Like you could do any better.

You underestimate Tim Elliot at your peril.

Laugh all you like, but what do
you really know about Tim Elliot?

Absolutely nothing. Barbara!

Fine, in that case, Tim
Elliot can take the exam.

Tim Elliot will be delighted. Oh, do
stop saying that. What if you fail?

What? What do you mean? Well,
there has to be a forfeit. Custody.

Excuse me? If you fail,
you'll give them custody.

Are you seriously suggesting
we gamble for custody?

How is it gambling? I thought we
underestimate you at our peril?

Wait, hold on.

So if I pass, you stay with me.

But it has to be you who takes the test.

I swear to you Tim Elliot will
take that test. Yes! Got them.

You found our files? No, they're
gone, but I've got Rihanna tickets.

- Barbara, we got the
tickets! - Woo-hoo!

She's happy.

Should have been in by now.
What if he doesn't like me?

What if he's disappointed? My tie OK? Mm-hm.

How are my pecs? Very nice. You promise?

Hello Didier. I met with Moritz last night.

He told me that you are seeing another woman.

He said that you don't love me
anymore, but I do not believe him.

I will only know it is true when
I hear it from your own lips.

Until then, mon amour.

OK everyone, let me introduce Tim Elliot.

Open that, will you? Been busting for a wee.

Sorry.

You're disappointed. No.

It's OK, my wife had the same
look... before she left me.

You're a bit different than I expected.

I won't lie to you,
it's not been a good year.

You can't tell but I've actually
put on a bit of weight. Really?

And the irritable bowels are still a problem.

Still got that brilliant mind, though?

No. No?

The alcohol killed the brain cells.

Have you thought about... not
drinking? I've cut back quite a bit.

Really? But fret not, Tim,
because I am here to serve you.

Can you take an exam for me? No.
No. Blood pressure. Right, of course.

So what about you? What?

Are you married? I'm divorced.

Seeing anyone? Not at the moment.

Any kids? Yeah, I have a son.

Do you get on well? Not really.
In the middle of a custody battle.

Are you going to win? Not now.

It's hard work being Tim
Elliot. Tell me about it.

Hey there!

How was school? OK. Yeah?

Oh, wasn't it hilarious yesterday?

What? You know, all that stuff

about the exam and custody was so funny!

What are you doing? Nothing.

Just enjoying classic humour.
It wasn't a joke. What?

My god, I can't believe you
fell for it. You are so...

This isn't going to work. Really?

The exam's tomorrow. OK.

Don't worry, you'll do fine.

You might just want to brush up
on your quantum mechanics. Thanks.

How long have we been studying?

11 minutes.

I'm never going to get through all this.

You have to, this is for Marcus, remember?

All right.

Tell you what.

Why don't we take a five-minute break,

and then we'll hit these books
like Stephen Hawking on crack.

I've got Pepsi. That'll do.

Working hard?

How long have I been
asleep? Ten hours. Oh, god.

Ready for the exam? Yes! Yes.

I think we've covered most things.

It's good to get some proper rest
before an exam. I'll be in the car.

OK, I'm there in a sec.

Thanks a lot. OK.

- Oui? Hello?
- Hello?

Didier? Oui.

OK?

Yes. I agree.

Why are you speaking English?

Because, Sophie,

French is the language of love,

but English is the language of breaking up.

I am in love with another
woman. I don't believe you.

What did you say to me when we first kissed?

I say so many things. You said,
"our hearts would be as one forever".

Well, unfortunately, I
have met someone else. What?

What did you expect, I am French.

But you should do the same.

There are many men out there.

Take Moritz for example, he is very handsome.

He's a reptile! Bit harsh.

I mean, I understand he is a wonderful lover.

Is that what you want Didier?
You want me to sleep with Moritz?

I really do. OK, fine. What?

If that is what it takes to
show my commitment to you,

then that is what I will do.

Are you serious? On one condition.

You call me by my special name.

Your special name? You cannot have
forgotten it. Can I get a clue?

It is tattooed on your body!
Right, right, of course.

Just remind me
which part of my body, that is.

You are just humiliating me now. No, no.

Actually, I have to make
another call, but I will ring you

straight back with that funny little
name and you can have sex with me.

I mean, Moritz. And then
everything will be cool. OK? Ciao!

I take it you heard that, then? Yes.

Phew, thought I was dreaming.

Where's Tim today? He's going
to be late. He's doing an exam.

You don't mind if I sit here? No.

I'm staying in a hotel
while I'm in town. Are you?

It's horrible but it's cheap.

So, if you're... interested?

Interested? In coming back with me?

Are you hitting on me?

Is that OK? Not really. Fair enough.

What was it, the body or the
general desperation that put you off?

There were a number of factors. Sure.

The main one being my boyfriend
who is sitting right there.

Oh. Yeah.

Sorry. Mmm-hmm.

You want me to leave now. Yeah. I thought so.

The results will be ready for collection

at five o'clock this evening.

I think we can probably start packing.

I'll give you a hand.

Hiya. Who are you?

Thought you might like a drink.

I cannot.

I'll untie you. I'll just
check you're not armed.

I've already been searched.

Can't be too careful.

You married, Didier? No.

Girlfriend?

Yes. How's that going? Happy?

Of course. I love her.

Hmmm. I bet you have
funny names for each other?

What are you doing? Can I drink now? OK.

I've been thinking of getting a tattoo. What?

Yeah, but it's so hard
to decide where to put it.

Do you have any tattoos?

One. Oh, really?

Can I see it? No. Why not?
It is on my buttock. Huh.

That is a quandary.

How did it go? Badly. I can't
help feeling I let you down.

I can't help agreeing. I don't
understand how you could gamble

custody of Marcus on the results of
an exam you were never going to pass.

I wasn't supposed to be taking the
exam. He means me. Yes, I got that.

What I meant is, why didn't you just cheat?

Tim, it may have escaped your notice,

but you are an MI5 intelligence officer.

Surely even you are capable
of breaking into an office

full of nerds and fixing an exam result.

Right. Of course.

I've got two hours before
the results are ready.

Can I help at all? You would
have thought. Where's the boss?

Interrogation three.

Um, re our earlier conversation.
Stay over there. Yes.

What's going on? He's got a gun.

I can see that.

Why has he got no trousers on?
This is a bad man. I can explain.

OK, would you mind terribly if I
left you guys to it? Don't move! OK.

It's just, you've got two hostages
and I really need to be somewhere.

You're not going anywhere! Right. Selfish.

Excuse me. I am never
going to sleep with you.

Yeah, I know, it's just that
there's something happening. Oh god.

Portis, hit the alarm!

Is there anything I can do?
No. Actually, yes there is.

Are you here to take the exam?
OK. Well, come on in then.

I like your outfit. Most unorthodox.

Thank you.

You tell me what happened. He attacked me.

He was trying to steal
Didier's girlfriend. What?

Is this true? No. Yes.

OK, so we may have talked a couple of times,

but it was completely innocent.

It wasn't. OK, so it
wasn't completely innocent.

Is she hot? Can I please get out of here? No!

So what's with the trousers? I needed
to see a tattoo... on his buttocks.

No way. Look, me too.

Look, Didier, I'm sorry.

It's true, I was trying to steal
your girlfriend but she loves you.

Yeah. And if you love her, you'll let us go.

And we can have you back
together within the hour.

But this way there are 20
armed agents outside that door.

So just think about it, OK?

Thank god.

Might just be able to make
it. He's already there. Who?

Oh no, he didn't.

Time. Pens down, please.

Don't forget to put your names on the front.

Which side? The tattoo?

Oh yeah. Left. Oh, very nice!

Are you really going to let me go? No.

I didn't think so.

So if I sign this, Tim loses
custody? That's the general idea.

He's really not very bright.

What's the matter, Marcus? Fill in the form.

Is Tim Elliot here?

Yes, yes, I'm here, sorry.

Sorry. Well, I have the results,
and I'm pleased to say you passed.

Really? No. You failed. Abysmally.

I enjoyed that.

Can you sign this?

Check again. I hardly...

Check again. Results for Tim Elliot.

All right, no need to be rude.

Now that we're no longer working together,
how about we go for that drink? Nope.

Need more time? I don't understand.

I seem to have two sets of results
or Tim Elliot, one pass and one fail.

What does that mean? It means
the bet is off. Oh, what?

Are you serious? What do you think?

Well, you didn't pass.

You didn't fail, either.

The bet is null and void.

Won't be needing this any more.

I don't understand. Oh, I think
it's pretty obvious, isn't it?

We wouldn't expect you to understand.

Did warn you, "Not to
underestimate Tim Elliot".

Don't start that again.

Hello? What are you wearing? Oh, my darling.

Is that you? You better believe it is.

But, what if Didier find out?

I don't think that we're going to
be seeing much of him for a while.

Oh, you are so naughty.

You have no idea.

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