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[Siren wailing]
2
00:00:03,474 --> 00:00:04,687
Coming through, people, coming through.
3
00:00:04,688 --> 00:00:05,799
What's going on? What's going on?
What do we got?
4
00:00:05,826 --> 00:00:07,063
He was halfway through a rib eye
5
00:00:07,064 --> 00:00:08,468
when he grabbed his chest and went down.
6
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He's not breathing.
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All right.
8
00:00:11,229 --> 00:00:13,263
Here you go.
9
00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,566
[Click, bleep]
10
00:00:16,568 --> 00:00:18,969
- Is this, uh...
- Yeah, I think so.
11
00:00:18,971 --> 00:00:22,105
Okay.
12
00:00:22,107 --> 00:00:25,041
- How you doin' here?
- Firing up the defib.
13
00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:26,076
Clear.
14
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- [Power up whine]
- [Thump]
15
00:00:27,746 --> 00:00:29,479
Nothing.
16
00:00:31,616 --> 00:00:32,816
Clear.
17
00:00:32,818 --> 00:00:34,017
[Whine, thump]
18
00:00:34,019 --> 00:00:36,653
- [Beeping]
- There he is.
19
00:00:36,655 --> 00:00:38,455
- Oh, thank God.
- Right?
20
00:00:41,592 --> 00:00:44,294
One, two, three.
21
00:00:44,296 --> 00:00:45,929
There we go.
22
00:00:45,931 --> 00:00:50,133
The service was lovely.
Mr. O'Shea had a wonderful time.
23
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- I knew it was him.
- Who is it, a local celebrity,
24
00:00:54,673 --> 00:00:56,272
some sports guy I don't know about?
25
00:00:56,274 --> 00:00:57,373
Is this Ditka?
26
00:00:57,375 --> 00:00:59,342
Do you see a halo? It's Jimmy O.
27
00:00:59,344 --> 00:01:01,277
Oh, the guy from the mattress
store commercials.
28
00:01:01,279 --> 00:01:04,247
No, that's Jimmy C.
The C is for crazy savings.
29
00:01:04,249 --> 00:01:06,382
No, Jimmy O'Shea, old-school Irish mobster.
30
00:01:06,384 --> 00:01:07,884
Like Whitey Bulger, but less successful.
31
00:01:07,886 --> 00:01:09,886
- Yeah, and less in jail.
- Wow.
32
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If I were a mobster, I'd never
go to restaurants 'cause
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that's where all the hits happen.
34
00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:15,291
If you were a mobster, you'd
die your first day of work.
35
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No, I wouldn't, 'cause I'd order in.
36
00:01:17,195 --> 00:01:18,461
You should teach mobster school, Brian.
37
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- You've got a lot of good ideas.
- Hey, hold up.
38
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Oh, I'm sorry, sir. You can't ride with us.
39
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But you can follow us to city hospital.
40
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I go where Mr. O'Shea goes.
41
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Come here.
42
00:01:27,572 --> 00:01:28,638
Watch my car.
43
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I'm just about to get off.
44
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No, you're not.
45
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Sync & Corrections by Darcade
- Addic7ed.com -
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[Siren wailing]
47
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Take Madison.
48
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Oh, we'll get him there, sir.
49
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Madison is fastest.
50
00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:45,267
Well, we got the siren,
so we're good to go.
51
00:01:45,269 --> 00:01:47,570
You're gonna take Madison.
52
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Yeah, Madison all the way.
53
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[Muttering]
54
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:51,774
What's that, boss?
55
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He said shut the hell up, Fat Eddie.
56
00:01:53,010 --> 00:01:54,210
Can I have some oxygen please, Hank?
57
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- Sure.
- Does Mr. O'Shea
58
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,981
have you confused
with perhaps a heavier Eddie?
59
00:01:58,983 --> 00:02:01,150
If anything, you seem like a Skinny Eddie.
60
00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:03,886
I only ask so we can determine
how his brain is functioning.
61
00:02:03,888 --> 00:02:05,087
No, I'm Fat Eddie.
62
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I used to be obese.
63
00:02:06,791 --> 00:02:08,390
But then I changed my lifestyle
64
00:02:08,392 --> 00:02:10,025
because I could see
this is where I was headed.
65
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[Muttering]
66
00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:15,097
- What, boss?
- [Mutters]
67
00:02:15,099 --> 00:02:16,432
Tell the man.
68
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Pussy.
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00:02:17,835 --> 00:02:19,468
He called you a pussy.
70
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25 years I've been telling him
to cut back on the meat,
71
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but he won't.
72
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You know why he eats at that place?
73
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'Cause they put a big slab
of butter on the steak.
74
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I told him this was gonna happen,
75
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:33,415
but does he listen to me?
76
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Oh, I thought
that was a rhetorical question.
77
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Um... no?
78
00:02:37,522 --> 00:02:39,255
Correct. No.
79
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Even when I lost all that weight
80
00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:45,261
working my balls off
on that goddamned elliptical.
81
00:02:45,263 --> 00:02:47,163
That's a girl's machine.
82
00:02:47,165 --> 00:02:49,532
- He said that that's actually...
- I know what he said.
83
00:02:49,534 --> 00:02:53,335
Yeah, I-I choose not to hear
when he gets like this.
84
00:02:53,337 --> 00:02:55,104
How we doing up there, Johnny?
85
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[Siren wailing]
86
00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:00,809
- Jimmy O, huh?
- Huh?
87
00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:02,077
That guy is no joke.
88
00:03:02,079 --> 00:03:03,913
I heard he once cut off a waiter's finger
89
00:03:03,915 --> 00:03:06,148
for putting the spoon next to the fork.
90
00:03:06,150 --> 00:03:07,583
They go on opposite sides of the plate.
91
00:03:07,585 --> 00:03:09,084
Remember that.
92
00:03:09,086 --> 00:03:10,819
You sure he wasn't
trying to eat the guy's fingers?
93
00:03:10,821 --> 00:03:11,954
[Laughing]
94
00:03:11,956 --> 00:03:13,956
Homeboy is huge, butter-on-steak style.
95
00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:16,959
That's wild... you guys had
a murderer's life in your hands.
96
00:03:16,961 --> 00:03:18,194
- Yeah.
- We did, indeed.
97
00:03:18,196 --> 00:03:19,528
It's a shame our jobs prevent us
98
00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:20,930
from killing people like that.
99
00:03:20,932 --> 00:03:22,198
Yeah, and laws in general.
100
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:23,732
Yeah, but you know how long the cops
101
00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:25,568
have been trying to take that dude down?
102
00:03:25,570 --> 00:03:26,869
What's the point of having all this power
103
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- if we can't use it?
- It's the oath we take.
104
00:03:29,073 --> 00:03:31,840
We do our best to save
whoever's put in front of us
105
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whether they're good or evil.
106
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Dope dealers, gang bangers,
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00:03:34,812 --> 00:03:37,613
dictators... doesn't matter, you save them.
108
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And besides, Jimmy O isn't all bad.
109
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- Are you kidding me?
- I'm not saying the guy's
110
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a saint, but he did keep a kind
of peace in my neighborhood,
111
00:03:43,321 --> 00:03:44,820
and he paid for all kinds of cool shit
112
00:03:44,822 --> 00:03:46,288
like a carnival every year.
113
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He built us a little league field,
114
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like, the best little league
field in the city.
115
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:52,061
It had these cool dugouts
just like a big league stadium.
116
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He bought it with blood money, John.
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I don't care, Hank.
118
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Dugouts.
119
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Below the ground dugouts.
120
00:03:57,969 --> 00:04:00,402
So who's the worst person
that everyone here has saved?
121
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:02,137
Your mom.
122
00:04:02,139 --> 00:04:03,706
Oh, my God.
123
00:04:03,708 --> 00:04:05,908
Oh, I didn't even... I don't
even know where that came from.
124
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That was really good.
125
00:04:07,845 --> 00:04:12,281
Hank, worst person you've saved.
126
00:04:12,283 --> 00:04:14,450
- Aaron Rodgers.
- Bullshit.
127
00:04:14,452 --> 00:04:16,218
- Who's...
- Packers quarterback.
128
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:18,687
I never told you about it
because I was too ashamed.
129
00:04:18,689 --> 00:04:21,290
You never told me about
it 'cause it never happened.
130
00:04:21,292 --> 00:04:23,859
Remember when I was earning
extra cash as a set medic?
131
00:04:23,861 --> 00:04:25,527
- Yeah.
- I worked on a commercial
132
00:04:25,529 --> 00:04:27,896
for some lame potato chip company,
133
00:04:27,898 --> 00:04:29,398
and Aaron Rodgers was in it.
134
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,200
Oh, of course he was. Dick.
135
00:04:31,202 --> 00:04:32,701
Yeah. Anyway, in the commercial,
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he had to catch a pass from a little kid.
137
00:04:34,805 --> 00:04:37,139
I love that commercial. That kid's so cute.
138
00:04:37,141 --> 00:04:39,008
Read he was a problem on set, though.
139
00:04:39,010 --> 00:04:40,276
Where would you read something like that?
140
00:04:40,278 --> 00:04:42,711
Mm-hmm, little shit had an arm.
141
00:04:42,713 --> 00:04:44,913
And on the first take,
Rodgers wasn't prepared for it.
142
00:04:44,915 --> 00:04:46,148
Caught the ball wrong.
143
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:50,486
Dislocated his middle finger
on his right hand.
144
00:04:50,488 --> 00:04:52,388
- His throwing hand?
- Yeah.
145
00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:54,757
And if I hadn't popped
it back in right then and there,
146
00:04:54,759 --> 00:04:56,825
he would have missed the NFC title game
147
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:58,661
when they beat us to go to the Super Bowl.
148
00:04:58,663 --> 00:04:59,695
2010.
149
00:04:59,697 --> 00:05:01,430
Holy shit. You son of a bitch.
150
00:05:01,432 --> 00:05:04,500
That little kid actor would have
been a goddamn American hero,
151
00:05:04,502 --> 00:05:06,135
and you... you ruined it.
152
00:05:06,137 --> 00:05:07,870
I can't even look at you right now.
153
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,672
John, you just saved a man
154
00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:12,041
who most certainly has blood on his hands.
155
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:13,108
That has never been proven,
156
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:14,310
but you know what has been proven?
157
00:05:14,312 --> 00:05:16,045
You, Henry Isaiah St. Clare...
158
00:05:16,047 --> 00:05:17,079
Isaiah's your middle name?
159
00:05:17,081 --> 00:05:18,280
- So regal.
- Brian.
160
00:05:18,282 --> 00:05:21,750
You... cost the Bears the Super Bowl.
161
00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:23,419
Thank you, Brian.
162
00:05:23,421 --> 00:05:25,354
Cutler's knee
cost the Bears the Super Bowl,
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00:05:25,356 --> 00:05:27,356
and Jimmy O most certainly
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00:05:27,358 --> 00:05:29,558
has blood on his hands, his arms, his...
165
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,893
You don't get to wear Bears gear anymore.
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00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,194
It has been four years, John.
167
00:05:32,196 --> 00:05:34,496
You don't get to wear
Bears gear for four years.
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00:05:34,498 --> 00:05:36,632
Uh, you don't get to tell me
what I get to wear.
169
00:05:36,634 --> 00:05:39,968
- And another thing, he was nice.
- You take that back.
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00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:41,804
- Ellen Degeneres nice.
- Take it back!
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00:05:41,806 --> 00:05:43,472
- Nice, nice, nice.
- Oh.
172
00:05:43,474 --> 00:05:46,375
Can you believe that
those guys saved Jimmy O today?
173
00:05:46,377 --> 00:05:47,876
See, that's why I want to join the FBI,
174
00:05:47,878 --> 00:05:49,712
so I can take scumbags like that down.
175
00:05:49,714 --> 00:05:50,846
Aw, come on.
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00:05:50,848 --> 00:05:52,081
Jimmy O's all right, T.
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00:05:52,083 --> 00:05:53,248
He gave the kids in my neighborhood
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00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,450
a horse one time.
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Wait, not a horse.
180
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:57,453
What's the thing that's a horse,
181
00:05:57,455 --> 00:06:00,823
- but, like, a smaller horse?
- A pony?
182
00:06:00,825 --> 00:06:03,425
- Yeah, a pony.
- I guess that's nice.
183
00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:05,361
Yeah, that pony was an asshole, though.
184
00:06:05,363 --> 00:06:06,662
He wouldn't let anybody ride it.
185
00:06:06,664 --> 00:06:08,030
I tried, like, 100 times.
186
00:06:08,032 --> 00:06:11,367
I gave him sugar cubes and carrots and hay.
187
00:06:11,369 --> 00:06:12,668
I must have tried everything,
188
00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:14,636
but that pony was like, "hell no, son.
189
00:06:14,638 --> 00:06:16,705
You ain't getting no rides."
190
00:06:16,707 --> 00:06:18,540
That pony was a straight up dick.
191
00:06:18,542 --> 00:06:20,342
I miss him every day.
192
00:06:20,344 --> 00:06:22,711
Hey, well, maybe one day you'll meet again.
193
00:06:22,713 --> 00:06:24,012
Mm-hmm.
194
00:06:24,014 --> 00:06:25,914
- What was the pony's name?
- Tony.
195
00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:29,685
- Ha-ha. Tony the pony.
- Nah, just Tony.
196
00:06:33,385 --> 00:06:34,685
Hey, 14?
197
00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:37,688
Some guy named Eddie just called.
198
00:06:37,690 --> 00:06:39,623
- What'd he want?
- Said he needs you guys
199
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:40,758
to go to the hospital.
200
00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:42,459
His friend Jimmy wants to talk to you?
201
00:06:42,461 --> 00:06:45,929
- Oh, shit.
- He sounded cryptic and cute.
202
00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:47,531
- Was he cute?
- He was okay.
203
00:06:47,533 --> 00:06:49,833
Kind eyes, lost a lot of weight recently.
204
00:06:49,835 --> 00:06:52,069
- I'd say go for it.
- No, don't go for it.
205
00:06:52,071 --> 00:06:54,571
- He is a criminal.
- Dangerous and cute?
206
00:06:54,573 --> 00:06:56,640
Now you're just sweetening the pot.
207
00:07:00,011 --> 00:07:01,512
Yo.
208
00:07:01,514 --> 00:07:02,579
What are you doing here?
209
00:07:02,581 --> 00:07:04,014
Hank called us for backup.
210
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:05,549
You called my girlfriend for protection?
211
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,685
Yes, I did, because
your girlfriend is a cop,
212
00:07:07,687 --> 00:07:09,019
and those guys are murderers.
213
00:07:09,021 --> 00:07:10,220
They're alleged murderers.
214
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,622
Hey, me and all the kids in my neighborhood
215
00:07:11,624 --> 00:07:13,424
worshipped Jimmy O. He was the man.
216
00:07:13,426 --> 00:07:15,459
Yeah? Did he build you guys
a little league field, too?
217
00:07:15,461 --> 00:07:17,127
No, but he gave us a jerk pony.
218
00:07:17,129 --> 00:07:19,396
Mm. All right, you go in first.
219
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:20,964
- You got the look.
- What look?
220
00:07:20,966 --> 00:07:24,034
- Tall, jacked, intimidating.
- Black?
221
00:07:24,036 --> 00:07:25,602
I... it doesn't hurt.
222
00:07:25,604 --> 00:07:26,670
He didn't build me a dugout.
223
00:07:26,672 --> 00:07:27,971
- You lead.
- I can't.
224
00:07:27,973 --> 00:07:29,907
All right, let's rock, paper, scissors.
225
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,709
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
226
00:07:31,711 --> 00:07:34,778
I mean, that works, too.
227
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:36,146
I think it should have been him, anyway.
228
00:07:36,148 --> 00:07:38,482
Yeah, Brian, thanks.
229
00:07:38,484 --> 00:07:39,817
Mr. O'Shea?
230
00:07:39,819 --> 00:07:42,886
You wanted to see us?
231
00:07:46,624 --> 00:07:51,562
I-I want to thank you
three for saving my life.
232
00:07:51,564 --> 00:07:54,198
I owe you. What do you want?
233
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,233
We... we didn't expect a gift, but...
234
00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:58,135
But I mean, if you... since you offered.
235
00:07:58,137 --> 00:07:59,603
What do we want?
236
00:07:59,605 --> 00:08:01,572
We want you to make some changes.
237
00:08:01,574 --> 00:08:03,040
- Brian?
- Mr. O'Shea,
238
00:08:03,042 --> 00:08:05,676
I will save your life,
but I will not hold my tongue.
239
00:08:05,678 --> 00:08:07,177
What Brian's trying to say is...
240
00:08:07,179 --> 00:08:09,113
And I would be remiss if I
didn't take this opportunity
241
00:08:09,115 --> 00:08:10,581
to give you some hard truths.
242
00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:12,015
What kind of hard truths?
243
00:08:12,017 --> 00:08:14,284
Your diet is horrendous.
244
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:17,020
That steak and linguine
is a one-way ticket out of here,
245
00:08:17,022 --> 00:08:19,456
mister, in a body bag.
246
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,824
That's what I've been telling him.
247
00:08:20,825 --> 00:08:25,762
All that fricking fat
and gluten, it's poison.
248
00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:27,264
I thought you were about to lecture me
249
00:08:27,266 --> 00:08:29,266
about my business activities.
250
00:08:29,268 --> 00:08:32,503
- Oh, no.
- Never, dugouts.
251
00:08:32,505 --> 00:08:34,538
Look, I stress eat.
252
00:08:34,540 --> 00:08:36,507
- We all do.
- For me, it's donuts.
253
00:08:36,509 --> 00:08:38,075
Business is bad lately.
254
00:08:38,077 --> 00:08:40,177
We got hit really hard with the recession.
255
00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:42,312
The numbers business is practically dead.
256
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,248
It's all scratch cards, now.
257
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,917
There's no unions anymore, just Walmart
258
00:08:46,919 --> 00:08:51,488
and the freaking Chinese.
259
00:08:51,490 --> 00:08:53,157
You know what business
we should have stayed in?
260
00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:54,691
Speakeasies.
261
00:08:54,693 --> 00:08:57,194
My daughter took me to one in Wicker Park.
262
00:08:57,196 --> 00:09:01,031
Some asshole in suspenders
and a small hat charged me $15
263
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:02,433
for a whiskey soda.
264
00:09:02,435 --> 00:09:04,768
- Oh, that dump on Damen.
- Oh, I hate that joint.
265
00:09:04,770 --> 00:09:08,806
Mr. O'Shea, if I may, you're in a cycle.
266
00:09:08,808 --> 00:09:11,341
You're under a lot
of stress, so you eat poorly,
267
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,411
and that makes you sad,
which stresses you out more,
268
00:09:14,413 --> 00:09:15,712
and so you eat more junk,
269
00:09:15,714 --> 00:09:17,981
and that makes you more stressed and sad,
270
00:09:17,983 --> 00:09:20,651
and I think you see
where I'm going with this.
271
00:09:20,653 --> 00:09:22,152
It feeds on itself.
272
00:09:22,154 --> 00:09:23,187
Intentional pun.
273
00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:24,354
We should let you get some rest.
274
00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:25,856
Yeah.
275
00:09:25,858 --> 00:09:27,991
All I'm saying is put down
the meat, pick up the veggies.
276
00:09:27,993 --> 00:09:29,326
Put some color on that plate.
277
00:09:29,328 --> 00:09:31,829
Yes. Eat from the rainbow, Jimmy.
278
00:09:31,831 --> 00:09:33,230
You know what's at the end of that rainbow?
279
00:09:33,232 --> 00:09:35,299
Health. And who knows?
280
00:09:35,301 --> 00:09:37,301
You may start feeling a little
bit better about yourself,
281
00:09:37,303 --> 00:09:40,170
stop doing the murdery stuff.
282
00:09:40,172 --> 00:09:42,973
- Alleged.
- I never spent a night in jail.
283
00:09:42,975 --> 00:09:46,276
Mr. O'Shea, you've been
given a second chance,
284
00:09:46,278 --> 00:09:48,812
an opportunity to do things
a little differently.
285
00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:51,181
But don't change for me.
286
00:09:51,183 --> 00:09:54,551
Change for you, for your daughter,
287
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,818
for Fat Skinny Eddie.
288
00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:57,387
You got a friend and a coworker
289
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,122
who cares an awful lot about you,
290
00:09:59,124 --> 00:10:02,392
and that makes you one freaking lucky guy.
291
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,828
I appreciate your honesty, kid,
292
00:10:04,830 --> 00:10:07,164
and I'll try to make some changes,
293
00:10:07,166 --> 00:10:08,932
if only so you'll stop talking.
294
00:10:08,934 --> 00:10:11,702
- Okay.
- [Uncomfortable laughter]
295
00:10:11,704 --> 00:10:13,637
- Thank you, Mr. O'Shea.
- Thank you.
296
00:10:13,639 --> 00:10:15,138
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
297
00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,140
Thanks so much.
298
00:10:19,844 --> 00:10:23,447
Hey, Mr. O, on behalf
of all the kids on 26th Street,
299
00:10:23,449 --> 00:10:26,850
thank you for the pony.
300
00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:28,719
Oh, what's up, man?
You lose some weight, bro?
301
00:10:28,721 --> 00:10:30,320
96 pounds.
302
00:10:30,322 --> 00:10:32,623
Yeah, you did.
303
00:10:32,625 --> 00:10:35,425
Yeah, you did, man.
304
00:10:39,697 --> 00:10:41,498
Yes, we saved Jimmy O's life,
305
00:10:41,500 --> 00:10:43,867
but do you know who the real hero is?
306
00:10:43,869 --> 00:10:45,602
No, [Laughs]
307
00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,471
No, no, it's not me.
308
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:49,906
Fat Skinny Eddie is the real hero.
309
00:10:49,909 --> 00:10:52,776
I mean, it's easy for me to walk
in there with the full weight
310
00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:54,478
of my expertise and say,
311
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,246
"change this, change that."
312
00:10:56,248 --> 00:10:57,748
But Eddie's the one
313
00:10:57,750 --> 00:11:00,417
who's got to be there every day
making sure the change sticks,
314
00:11:00,419 --> 00:11:02,252
and that's the only way
it's gonna work, 'cause
315
00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:05,622
the truth is it's your coworkers
who know you best.
316
00:11:05,624 --> 00:11:07,457
Well, take this from your coworker.
317
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:09,793
When you get on your high horse,
you're an ass.
318
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:12,262
I was gonna say exactly
the same thing, except dick,
319
00:11:12,264 --> 00:11:13,564
but I like what you did
with the ass bit 'cause
320
00:11:13,566 --> 00:11:15,232
- it's a play back on the horse.
- Thank you.
321
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:16,633
Okay, okay,
322
00:11:16,635 --> 00:11:19,336
I'll take your criticism
to heart because it's the people
323
00:11:19,338 --> 00:11:21,872
you work with who really do know you best.
324
00:11:21,874 --> 00:11:23,874
I think we've all identified certain areas
325
00:11:23,876 --> 00:11:26,410
in one another that need
improving, so I'll go first.
326
00:11:26,412 --> 00:11:28,045
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Nope, nope, nope.
327
00:11:28,047 --> 00:11:29,913
We're not talking about what
we'd change about each other.
328
00:11:29,915 --> 00:11:31,615
I tried that with Theresa once.
It did not go well.
329
00:11:31,617 --> 00:11:34,484
Strange, I heard Irish cops
take criticism very well.
330
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:36,687
You know, weirdly, I've heard the opposite.
331
00:11:36,689 --> 00:11:37,955
Brian, listen.
332
00:11:37,957 --> 00:11:40,324
People have been trying
to change me my entire life,
333
00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:42,292
and trust me, it's incredibly annoying.
334
00:11:42,294 --> 00:11:44,194
Look, I'm not talking
about big changes, here,
335
00:11:44,196 --> 00:11:47,331
fellas, just little,
small, mini ones, tweaks.
336
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:50,500
For example, sometimes I think that
337
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,536
I look up to you guys too much,
and that's a lot of pressure.
338
00:11:52,538 --> 00:11:53,804
I should probably dial that down.
339
00:11:53,806 --> 00:11:55,372
- Not necessarily.
- No, I think you're good.
340
00:11:55,374 --> 00:11:56,707
And Hank...
341
00:11:56,709 --> 00:11:58,141
No, you don't need
to go around the horn, Bri.
342
00:11:58,143 --> 00:11:59,576
- We're not playing.
- No, no, John.
343
00:11:59,578 --> 00:12:02,012
I would love to hear what Brian
would change about me.
344
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:03,880
Thank you, Hank.
345
00:12:03,882 --> 00:12:05,382
- Hmm?
- Hmm.
346
00:12:05,384 --> 00:12:09,186
Sometimes when you ask
for things in the rig,
347
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,421
your tone can be a little aggressive.
348
00:12:11,423 --> 00:12:13,190
That's because I need things aggressively.
349
00:12:13,192 --> 00:12:14,558
It's not every word,
350
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,227
- mostly the way you say "gauze."
- Oh, totally.
351
00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:18,762
- You bark it out, right?
- Well then,
352
00:12:18,764 --> 00:12:21,164
shitheads, how would you like
me to say the word "gauze"?
353
00:12:21,166 --> 00:12:22,332
With softer consonants,
354
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:24,234
like gauze.
355
00:12:24,236 --> 00:12:25,902
- Gauze.
- No, like this.
356
00:12:25,904 --> 00:12:27,371
Gauze.
357
00:12:27,373 --> 00:12:28,372
Gauze.
358
00:12:28,374 --> 00:12:30,040
- Gauze.
- G-gauze?
359
00:12:30,042 --> 00:12:31,308
- Both: Gauze.
- G-gau...
360
00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:32,943
- No, like this.
- No.
361
00:12:32,945 --> 00:12:33,944
- Watch this.
- Watch him.
362
00:12:33,946 --> 00:12:35,045
- Gauze.
- Yeah, he's doing it.
363
00:12:35,047 --> 00:12:36,146
- Gauze.
- It's just, like, gauze.
364
00:12:36,148 --> 00:12:37,280
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
365
00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:38,315
- Gauze.
- Gauze?
366
00:12:38,317 --> 00:12:39,349
No, no. Shh.
367
00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:41,284
Watch. Watch my mouth, gauze.
368
00:12:41,286 --> 00:12:42,586
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
369
00:12:42,588 --> 00:12:43,587
Gauze.
370
00:12:43,589 --> 00:12:44,721
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
371
00:12:44,723 --> 00:12:45,856
- You're a little close.
- Gauze?
372
00:12:45,858 --> 00:12:47,157
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
373
00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:48,158
Both: Gauze.
374
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,259
Gauze.
375
00:12:49,261 --> 00:12:50,827
Hey, how about... how about some gauze?
376
00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:52,062
- Hey, gauze.
- Hey, have some gauze.
377
00:12:52,064 --> 00:12:53,163
- Gauze!
- Gauze.
378
00:12:53,165 --> 00:12:54,197
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
379
00:12:54,199 --> 00:12:55,198
- Gauze?
- Gauze.
380
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,199
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
381
00:12:56,201 --> 00:12:57,200
Gauze.
382
00:12:57,202 --> 00:12:58,201
- Gauze.
- Gauze.
383
00:12:58,203 --> 00:12:59,202
Gauze.
384
00:12:59,204 --> 00:13:00,437
- Gauze.
- You know what?
385
00:13:00,439 --> 00:13:01,772
Listen, listen, listen.
If we doing this, Johnny,
386
00:13:01,774 --> 00:13:03,140
you could close the back doors
every once in a while.
387
00:13:03,142 --> 00:13:04,541
- How about that?
- Oh, good one, Hank.
388
00:13:04,543 --> 00:13:05,609
- What?
- Mm-hmm.
389
00:13:05,611 --> 00:13:07,077
Yeah, we load a patient in.
390
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,512
You run to the front like the back
391
00:13:08,514 --> 00:13:09,846
is automatically our problem.
392
00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:12,249
You could close the doors
every once in a while.
393
00:13:12,251 --> 00:13:13,450
But that would kill our system.
394
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:14,618
I drive, you're in back,
395
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,453
- Brian's the bag man.
- Yeah, exactly.
396
00:13:16,455 --> 00:13:19,923
I always carry the bags, and I
sit in this tiny little seat,
397
00:13:19,925 --> 00:13:21,324
it doesn't even have a real seatbelt,
398
00:13:21,326 --> 00:13:23,427
and all I'm asking for
is a little more consideration
399
00:13:23,429 --> 00:13:25,495
and a slightly more pleasant tone of voice.
400
00:13:25,497 --> 00:13:27,130
Your seat is tiny.
401
00:13:27,132 --> 00:13:29,166
It's like a little perch.
402
00:13:29,168 --> 00:13:31,868
Like big bird.
403
00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:33,437
Big Bird Brian.
404
00:13:33,439 --> 00:13:34,971
I like to call it the Brian zone.
405
00:13:34,973 --> 00:13:37,474
But when I think about it,
I'm like, "Sunday, Sunday,
406
00:13:37,476 --> 00:13:40,744
Sunday, live in ambulance 14,
the Brian zone."
407
00:13:40,746 --> 00:13:41,912
The Brian zone.
408
00:13:41,914 --> 00:13:45,482
[Air guitaring]
409
00:13:45,484 --> 00:13:46,483
Whoa.
410
00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:50,620
[All air guitaring]
411
00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:53,657
Whoa, jeez, hey, look at that.
412
00:13:53,659 --> 00:13:56,660
[All air drumming violently]
413
00:13:59,197 --> 00:14:01,465
Like Phil Collins does.
414
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:04,434
I love that.
415
00:14:04,436 --> 00:14:05,936
- I got to say, though.
- Mmhmm?
416
00:14:05,938 --> 00:14:06,937
I'm feeling a little bit
of a gong at the end of it.
417
00:14:06,939 --> 00:14:07,938
Nah.
418
00:14:11,182 --> 00:14:13,317
I cannot believe I met Jimmy O.
419
00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:14,952
I'm starstruck,
420
00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,321
T, like, a star came out of the sky
421
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:19,089
and hit me in the face.
422
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:21,291
That's how I feel right now, man.
423
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:24,028
He bought your neighborhood
a small, stupid horse.
424
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,062
Big deal.
425
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,830
T, how could you even say that?
426
00:14:26,832 --> 00:14:28,198
Have you seen a horse?
427
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,199
Yeah.
428
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:32,269
They're so majestic.
429
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,505
I love their neigh. It's so proud.
430
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:37,641
Plus, their hooves make jell-o,
which is delicious,
431
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:39,977
and glue, which is super helpful
when you're,
432
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,112
like, doing a project.
433
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:45,285
You know the horses have to die
to make all those things, Billy.
434
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,251
And that's really sad.
435
00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:49,119
But what a way to go.
436
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:51,822
And when they live, man, when they live?
437
00:14:51,824 --> 00:14:52,923
They're alive.
438
00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:56,660
The wind blows through their manes.
439
00:14:56,662 --> 00:15:00,064
I wish I had a mane.
440
00:15:01,633 --> 00:15:04,601
So he said he owed you, and he
asked you what you wanted,
441
00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:08,172
and the words "pool table" never
came out of your mouths?
442
00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:09,673
Well, we were going to,
though we were gonna ask
443
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,708
for a ping-pong table.
444
00:15:10,710 --> 00:15:12,209
- Ping-pong table?
- Mm-hmm.
445
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:14,344
Why didn't you just ask for a checker set?
446
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:16,613
Ping-pong is not a man's game.
447
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:17,981
What's wrong with you?
448
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,784
Pool table, bitches. Billiards.
449
00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,920
- I'm working with children, here.
- I love ping pong.
450
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:24,054
Yeah, you know why?
451
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,255
'Cause ping-pong is awesome.
452
00:15:25,257 --> 00:15:26,757
- Are you good, Johnny?
- He thinks he is.
453
00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,125
I'm not saying I'm
the best player at the barbecue,
454
00:15:28,127 --> 00:15:29,660
but I'm the person
the best player wants to beat.
455
00:15:29,662 --> 00:15:31,061
So you're saying you're the second-best?
456
00:15:31,063 --> 00:15:32,496
Second, third, depends on the barbecue.
457
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,599
But it doesn't matter,
because Brian blew it.
458
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:38,268
I simply told Mr. O'Shea
that all he owed us
459
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,672
was a promise to make
a few changes in his diet.
460
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,107
Ping-pong would have been better.
461
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,642
What are you talking about,
trying to change people, Kevin?
462
00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:47,077
People don't want to change.
463
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:48,512
Oh, on the contrary,
464
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:51,682
the boys in ambulance 14 have
all agreed to make some changes.
465
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,016
Haven't we, fellas? Huh?
466
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:54,518
- Hey, no.
- Don't touch me.
467
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,487
- I'm sorry.
- Terrible idea.
468
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:59,089
Never try to change your coworkers.
469
00:15:59,091 --> 00:16:02,459
I once gave Mac what I thought
was constructive criticism,
470
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,394
and my knee hasn't been the same since.
471
00:16:04,396 --> 00:16:07,831
You either accept someone or you
find a way to get rid of them.
472
00:16:07,833 --> 00:16:09,433
That's what happened to Scotty.
473
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,368
The dude with the weird-ass eyes?
474
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:14,104
Mm-hmm, felt like one eye
was always looking at my dick.
475
00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,806
I don't know, Cash,
maybe some small changes
476
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,840
around here could be nice?
477
00:16:16,842 --> 00:16:18,108
There we go, people.
478
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,543
It's in the air.
479
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:21,145
Yeah, like, maybe you could
let us pick the lunch place
480
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,080
- every once in a while.
- Absolutely not.
481
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,150
Or maybe you could start
calling me by my real name.
482
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,551
That would...
483
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,752
That would be a nice change.
484
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:32,322
Or maybe we
could change your name to Kevin.
485
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,590
I like that.
486
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,192
I just think
we're capable of more, you know?
487
00:16:35,194 --> 00:16:37,761
Maybe, like, for instance, polish thunder.
488
00:16:37,763 --> 00:16:39,263
I think it'd be
just easier to change his name
489
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:41,265
- to Kevin, don't you?
- I think so, too.
490
00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:43,433
We're on the way to the hospital, ma'am.
491
00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:46,236
How is your hip? Are you still in pain?
492
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:47,638
- Are you allergic to anything?
- Mmmm.
493
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,106
I'm gonna get you a little pain medication.
494
00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,374
You'll feel better in no time.
495
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,643
Johnny, I just want to say
that I really appreciate
496
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,411
you closing the doors this time.
497
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:55,813
Only took you three tries.
498
00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:57,414
Yeah, I forgot the left door
had to close first.
499
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,982
Why does it have to be so damn complicated?
500
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:02,186
It's not rubik's cube, bro.
501
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:06,223
- You feeling better, ma'am?
- I am.
502
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:07,858
You see that voice you're
using with her, right there?
503
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,893
You could use that for everybody
in this rig.
504
00:17:09,895 --> 00:17:12,162
- Gauze.
- No, nicer.
505
00:17:12,164 --> 00:17:13,330
I'm not playing, Brian.
506
00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:14,598
Gauze.
507
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,434
It's the pitch in your voice, your tone,
508
00:17:17,436 --> 00:17:19,002
maybe it's your face.
509
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:20,904
- What?
- It's mean.
510
00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:23,207
You do have mean resting face.
You know what it is?
511
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:24,241
It's a bitch face.
512
00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:25,342
I do not have a bitch face.
513
00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:26,810
You have a bitch face.
514
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,378
Do you want me to talk to you
like a little old lady?
515
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,981
Fine. Brian,
516
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,450
may I please have some gauze?
517
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:34,852
Why, certainly.
518
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:37,688
Why, thank you so much, Brian.
519
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:38,922
It's kind of creepy.
520
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:41,491
Brian, are the doors closed enough for you?
521
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:44,194
Is your little body able
to handle the stress back there?
522
00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,196
All right, that's enough.
523
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:48,365
I get it, I feel like I'm
in a horror movie.
524
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,500
- Not my genre.
- Like I said, we have a system.
525
00:17:50,502 --> 00:17:51,768
Things are the way they are for a reason.
526
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,170
Do you know how many people would die here
527
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,972
- if we worked like that?
- Change kills, bro.
528
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:57,641
Listen, I'm just thankful that
you guys tried to change at all.
529
00:17:57,643 --> 00:17:58,675
[Murmuring]
530
00:17:58,677 --> 00:18:00,611
What was that, ma'am?
531
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,512
Could you turn up the radio?
532
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:04,915
I love this tune.
533
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,617
The radio's not on, ma'am.
534
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:07,985
Would you like us
to play something for you?
535
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:11,722
Let's dance the shag, strawberry jam,
536
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:15,392
you boys know that I love pennies?
537
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,527
Oh, I love a good
old-fashioned morphine ramble.
538
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,596
- It has been so long.
- She's so cute.
539
00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,934
I hid art for the Nazis.
540
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,371
Okay, so now I have
a new worst person I've saved.
541
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,773
No, Aaron Rodgers, bro.
542
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,009
Nope. No, this is worse.
543
00:18:36,514 --> 00:18:40,484
[Knocking] Come in.
544
00:18:40,485 --> 00:18:43,686
Mr. O'Shea, Fat Skinny Eddie,
545
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,756
I just want to apologize for the other day.
546
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,324
I may have been too harsh.
547
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,026
I've been told
that I can be a little annoying
548
00:18:49,028 --> 00:18:50,761
when I get on my high horse.
549
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,362
You did what I couldn't.
550
00:18:52,364 --> 00:18:53,664
[Chuckles] Oh, it was nothing.
551
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,899
I just gave Mr. O a defibrillation of truth
552
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:56,934
from the heart.
553
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:58,468
It's what I do.
554
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,903
Edward, would you grab me
555
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:01,905
some sparkling water and lemon, please?
556
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:04,107
You got it.
557
00:19:10,481 --> 00:19:15,252
Look, I ain't gonna change, kid.
558
00:19:15,253 --> 00:19:16,786
But I want Fat Eddie to be happy.
559
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:20,223
He deserves it for putting up
with me for so long.
560
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:25,762
I'm willing to fake it, out of love.
561
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:27,431
Hey, boss, they only had still.
562
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:28,632
Come here.
563
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,800
[Chuckles]
564
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,835
25 years, I've never gotten a hug.
565
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,637
Then get in this thing.
566
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:36,540
No, absolutely not.
567
00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:44,314
Hey, is that from Jimmy O?
568
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,716
How'd he know
we wanted one of these things?
569
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:46,717
Bri, did you go talk to him again?
570
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:47,851
I did, but...
571
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,553
It's not from Jimmy O, assholes.
572
00:19:49,555 --> 00:19:50,754
It's from me.
573
00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:52,456
I'm not gonna change for any of you,
574
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,291
but I will buy you a ping-pong table.
575
00:19:54,293 --> 00:19:55,425
- Oh, man.
- Thank you.
576
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:56,793
Thank you, it means a lot, Cash.
577
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:58,362
You're welcome, Kevin.
578
00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,830
Goddamn ping-pong.
579
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:03,200
That ball is everywhere, going
underneath every goddamn thing,
580
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,901
impossible to reach.
581
00:20:04,903 --> 00:20:06,603
Won't be no balls in two days.
582
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:08,739
I ain't buying new ones, nobody will.
583
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:11,475
That table's gonna
be a coat rack in a week.
584
00:20:14,812 --> 00:20:16,446
- Little help?
- No.
585
00:20:17,837 --> 00:20:20,943
Pony time, yeah, pony time.
All right, pony time,
586
00:20:20,943 --> 00:20:22,642
okay, pony time, hey.
587
00:20:22,644 --> 00:20:27,080
I see the pony. Pony time, pony...
588
00:20:27,082 --> 00:20:31,618
Oh, my God. Tony.
589
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:33,186
- What up, man?
- [Neighs]
590
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:35,555
It's me, William.
591
00:20:35,557 --> 00:20:37,123
I go by Billy now.
592
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:38,625
You probably don't recognize me
'cause I was a little bigger
593
00:20:38,627 --> 00:20:39,960
when I was a kid, though.
594
00:20:39,962 --> 00:20:41,795
- This is my partner, T.
- Hi, Tony.
595
00:20:41,797 --> 00:20:43,730
She's hot, right?
596
00:20:43,732 --> 00:20:46,333
All right, Tony, we about
to do this thing, all right?
597
00:20:46,335 --> 00:20:48,668
This is gonna happen. Here you go.
598
00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:50,503
This is gonna happen today. That's it.
599
00:20:50,505 --> 00:20:52,405
- He loves it.
- [Laughs]
600
00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:53,506
- Yeah.
- Oh.
601
00:20:53,508 --> 00:20:55,842
- Good boy.
- Tony.
602
00:20:55,844 --> 00:20:57,811
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh.
603
00:20:57,813 --> 00:21:00,480
Yeah, see? T, look, I'm doing it.
604
00:21:00,482 --> 00:21:01,848
- I know.
- I'm on the 26th Street pony.
605
00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:03,149
Can you take a picture real quick?
606
00:21:03,151 --> 00:21:04,818
- All right, I got it.
- Of me and my boy, T?
607
00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:05,919
Okay.
608
00:21:05,921 --> 00:21:07,787
- All right, all right.
- Tony.
609
00:21:07,789 --> 00:21:09,289
Tony, look at the camera, baby, oh.
610
00:21:09,291 --> 00:21:13,893
Oh!
611
00:21:13,895 --> 00:21:15,629
Hey, did we get it?
612
00:21:15,631 --> 00:21:18,632
Yeah, I got it.
613
00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:20,033
Nice.
614
00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:24,633
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