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1
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As we rode out
into another Chicago morning,
2
00:00:06,166 --> 00:00:08,566
we didn't know what to expect.
3
00:00:08,568 --> 00:00:11,569
We knew not what to expect.
4
00:00:11,571 --> 00:00:14,038
We had no idea what awaited us.
5
00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:15,973
Brian, what the hell you doing, buddy?
6
00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:17,241
Just found out my phone
7
00:00:17,243 --> 00:00:18,676
has this really cool recording
app and was like,
8
00:00:18,678 --> 00:00:22,013
"hello, I obviously need to
dictate my memoirs."
9
00:00:22,015 --> 00:00:23,014
Oh, obviously.
10
00:00:23,016 --> 00:00:24,882
So, um, no spoilers,
11
00:00:24,884 --> 00:00:26,751
but you're both heavily featured
in my book.
12
00:00:26,753 --> 00:00:28,686
Great.
13
00:00:28,688 --> 00:00:30,888
Everyone, Brian is writing his memoirs.
14
00:00:30,890 --> 00:00:33,524
So be careful what you say
and do in front of him.
15
00:00:33,526 --> 00:00:36,194
You could end up in a best seller.
16
00:00:36,196 --> 00:00:37,495
Good for you, Brian.
17
00:00:37,497 --> 00:00:40,364
Stats here. I've been writing a book too.
18
00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:42,066
It's an erotic space fantasy
19
00:00:42,068 --> 00:00:45,069
about a brainy woman astronaut
who's lost in space,
20
00:00:45,071 --> 00:00:47,338
and she finds herself on a planet inhabited
21
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,940
by handsome male aliens.
22
00:00:48,942 --> 00:00:50,074
I'm listening.
23
00:00:50,076 --> 00:00:51,209
It's really cool.
24
00:00:51,211 --> 00:00:53,110
The planet has three moons.
25
00:00:53,112 --> 00:00:55,246
I don't want to be locked
into the moon thing yet.
26
00:00:55,248 --> 00:00:56,814
You got to keep the moons.
27
00:00:56,816 --> 00:00:58,549
That's my favorite part, Stats.
28
00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,985
Sex in zero gravity,
that's my favorite part.
29
00:01:00,987 --> 00:01:02,920
Oh, think about it, bro.
Sex in zero gravity would suck.
30
00:01:02,922 --> 00:01:04,121
There's no torque. There's no friction.
31
00:01:04,123 --> 00:01:05,223
It's all about torque and friction.
32
00:01:05,225 --> 00:01:06,491
Right, good point.
33
00:01:06,493 --> 00:01:08,426
Chicago North, ambulance
needed, car accident,
34
00:01:08,428 --> 00:01:09,994
corner of Grobowski and Kernin.
35
00:01:09,996 --> 00:01:11,496
Vehicle spun out into firehouse.
36
00:01:11,498 --> 00:01:12,530
That's engine 17.
37
00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:13,831
My dad used to work at that house.
38
00:01:13,833 --> 00:01:15,233
Ambulance 14 responding.
39
00:01:15,235 --> 00:01:17,468
"Ambulance 14 responding."
40
00:01:17,470 --> 00:01:19,403
How many times have you heard that phrase?
41
00:01:19,405 --> 00:01:21,973
But this time, it was personal.
42
00:01:21,975 --> 00:01:24,075
Johnny, driving as quick as he could...
43
00:01:24,077 --> 00:01:25,409
- Brian, knock it off.
- I'm sorry.
44
00:01:25,411 --> 00:01:26,410
- Right now.
- Sorry, okay, okay.
45
00:01:26,412 --> 00:01:29,413
[Hip-hop music]
46
00:01:29,415 --> 00:01:35,421
47
00:01:44,984 --> 00:01:49,365
Sync & Corrections by Darcade
- Addic7ed.com -
48
00:01:54,139 --> 00:01:55,907
[Cell phone ringing]
49
00:01:55,909 --> 00:01:57,441
Hey, babe.
50
00:01:57,443 --> 00:01:58,776
No way. I love you more.
51
00:01:58,778 --> 00:01:59,777
[Chuckles]
52
00:01:59,779 --> 00:02:01,178
What's up? Yeah, anything.
53
00:02:01,180 --> 00:02:03,381
Oh, uh...
54
00:02:03,383 --> 00:02:04,882
I don't know about that.
55
00:02:04,884 --> 00:02:07,018
Uh, yeah, babe, yeah.
56
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:08,152
Okay.
57
00:02:08,154 --> 00:02:09,587
I'll ask her right now. Okay.
58
00:02:09,589 --> 00:02:12,823
Hey, um, T,
can we pick up Maeve real quick?
59
00:02:12,825 --> 00:02:15,493
Why, she finally decided
to turn herself in?
60
00:02:15,495 --> 00:02:16,827
Oh, my God, what'd she do?
61
00:02:16,829 --> 00:02:18,095
Nothing, Billy.
62
00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:19,931
Oh, she just really needs
a ride across town,
63
00:02:19,933 --> 00:02:21,165
and her car's in the shop.
64
00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:22,833
Billy, as police officers on duty,
65
00:02:22,835 --> 00:02:24,302
do you think we should be picking Maeve
66
00:02:24,304 --> 00:02:26,103
and driving her around
as though we're her own
67
00:02:26,105 --> 00:02:27,405
private taxi service?
68
00:02:27,407 --> 00:02:28,806
Is that something you think
we should be doing?
69
00:02:28,808 --> 00:02:30,074
No, but could you tell her that?
70
00:02:30,076 --> 00:02:31,509
It's not that I'm frightened of her,
71
00:02:31,511 --> 00:02:35,880
it's just that I'm afraid of her sometimes.
72
00:02:35,882 --> 00:02:37,348
Listen close, Maeve,
73
00:02:37,350 --> 00:02:40,217
there's no way in hell
that we are giving you a ride.
74
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:42,520
I mean, do you honestly think
that I'm gonna waste
75
00:02:42,522 --> 00:02:45,957
taxpayers' hard-earned dollars
hauling your ass around town?
76
00:02:45,959 --> 00:02:48,225
There's a sample sale
at Evangelina Nessick's
77
00:02:48,227 --> 00:02:49,226
in 15 minutes.
78
00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:50,561
See you there in five.
79
00:02:50,563 --> 00:02:53,097
[Tires screeches, alarm whoops]
80
00:02:55,534 --> 00:02:57,501
She's kind of hard to say "no" to, right?
81
00:02:57,503 --> 00:02:58,502
- Where we headed, T?
- Sample sale.
82
00:02:58,504 --> 00:02:59,503
Here's the deal,
83
00:02:59,505 --> 00:03:00,771
we're gonna haul ass over there,
84
00:03:00,773 --> 00:03:03,207
I'm gonna find the perfect pair
of skinny jeans,
85
00:03:03,209 --> 00:03:04,609
and if we get a call,
86
00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:06,944
then we'll dump Maeve on her ass
on a curb somewhere.
87
00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:08,813
- It's a win-win.
- All right, all right.
88
00:03:08,815 --> 00:03:12,049
We about to get so many samples.
89
00:03:12,051 --> 00:03:13,484
What's a sample sale?
90
00:03:15,921 --> 00:03:19,724
[Siren wailing]
91
00:03:22,728 --> 00:03:25,463
- Where is everyone?
- Got to be out on a call.
92
00:03:34,706 --> 00:03:37,108
Holy shit.
93
00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:38,776
- Ooh, Jesus Christ.
- Is it bad?
94
00:03:38,778 --> 00:03:41,345
Oh, wow. Oh, jeez.
95
00:03:41,347 --> 00:03:42,580
Shit.
96
00:03:42,582 --> 00:03:44,815
- Shit. Shit.
- [Woman whimpering]
97
00:03:44,817 --> 00:03:48,252
Okay, let's just keep calm. Keep calm.
98
00:03:48,254 --> 00:03:50,955
Keep calm? You keep calm.
99
00:03:50,957 --> 00:03:52,156
Are you in pain, miss?
100
00:03:52,158 --> 00:03:53,658
Not really...
101
00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:56,927
Except for the huge frickin'
python around my neck.
102
00:03:56,929 --> 00:03:59,063
- Okay, noticed that.
- Well, we're here to help.
103
00:03:59,065 --> 00:04:03,200
Okay, so it's just a start...
But, oh, it looked at me.
104
00:04:03,202 --> 00:04:05,136
It looked at me... it looked me
directly in the eyes.
105
00:04:05,138 --> 00:04:06,303
Brian, call animal control.
106
00:04:06,305 --> 00:04:07,872
On it.
107
00:04:07,874 --> 00:04:09,907
Oh, wow.
108
00:04:09,909 --> 00:04:11,475
- What's your name, miss?
- Cindy.
109
00:04:11,477 --> 00:04:13,644
Hi, Cindy. I'm Hank. This is Johnny.
110
00:04:13,646 --> 00:04:14,845
Hi.
111
00:04:14,847 --> 00:04:16,380
Now, Cindy, the first thing we have to do
112
00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:17,448
is get that snake...
113
00:04:17,450 --> 00:04:18,883
- It's a python.
- Great.
114
00:04:18,885 --> 00:04:20,284
Get that python off your neck.
115
00:04:20,286 --> 00:04:22,920
Our colleague Brian is calling
animal control.
116
00:04:22,922 --> 00:04:26,424
Eight years, bro. It's my first python.
117
00:04:26,426 --> 00:04:27,425
Where's animal control?
118
00:04:27,427 --> 00:04:28,526
I'm on hold.
119
00:04:28,528 --> 00:04:29,827
[Screams] It's getting tighter!
120
00:04:29,829 --> 00:04:31,362
- We got to try something.
- Okay, yeah.
121
00:04:31,364 --> 00:04:33,164
Why don't you honk the horn?
Maybe that'll scare it off.
122
00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:34,832
What? You want me to honk the horn?
123
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:36,133
Yeah.
124
00:04:36,135 --> 00:04:38,102
You said that like you weren't sure.
125
00:04:38,104 --> 00:04:40,037
No, I mean, yeah. Yeah, honk the horn.
126
00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:41,372
She should honk the horn, right?
127
00:04:41,374 --> 00:04:42,373
- Right?
- Yeah, yeah.
128
00:04:42,375 --> 00:04:43,374
Uh-huh.
129
00:04:43,376 --> 00:04:45,743
Okay.
130
00:04:45,745 --> 00:04:47,445
[Horn honks]
131
00:04:47,447 --> 00:04:49,080
[Whimpers] It's getting tighter!
132
00:04:49,082 --> 00:04:50,681
Okay, no more horn.
133
00:04:50,683 --> 00:04:51,982
Cindy, does the python have a name?
134
00:04:51,984 --> 00:04:53,084
Lord Byron.
135
00:04:53,086 --> 00:04:54,819
That's a fancy name for a snake.
136
00:04:54,821 --> 00:04:56,387
Yeah, it looks more like a Paul.
137
00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:58,089
Listen, I didn't name it.
138
00:04:58,091 --> 00:05:01,292
My pretentious douche bag ex-boyfriend did.
139
00:05:01,294 --> 00:05:03,394
Dickwad left me for that whore, Trish,
140
00:05:03,396 --> 00:05:05,663
so I took his favorite thing,
141
00:05:05,665 --> 00:05:06,931
a huge snake.
142
00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:09,700
It's ironic, because his penis is tiny.
143
00:05:09,702 --> 00:05:11,702
- It's just so tiny!
- Hmm.
144
00:05:11,704 --> 00:05:13,090
It's a tiny penis.
145
00:05:13,114 --> 00:05:13,645
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
146
00:05:13,645 --> 00:05:15,706
Um, how did the snake get around your neck?
147
00:05:15,708 --> 00:05:18,642
It must have escaped
from its cage in the backseat.
148
00:05:18,644 --> 00:05:20,811
We're dealing with a highly
intelligent snake here, guys.
149
00:05:20,813 --> 00:05:24,415
Okay, I'm gonna try something.
150
00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:25,750
Here, Lord Byron.
151
00:05:25,752 --> 00:05:27,118
Come on, snakey snake.
152
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:27,879
[Whistles]
153
00:05:27,879 --> 00:05:29,353
Here, buddy. Come on, little fella.
154
00:05:29,355 --> 00:05:30,354
Huh. [Whistles]
155
00:05:30,356 --> 00:05:31,355
- Huh!
- What are you doing?
156
00:05:31,357 --> 00:05:32,356
- Huh?
- It's not a dog.
157
00:05:32,358 --> 00:05:33,457
It doesn't have ears, does it?
158
00:05:33,459 --> 00:05:34,625
I don't know. I don't see any.
159
00:05:34,627 --> 00:05:35,691
I think they hear through vibrations.
160
00:05:35,692 --> 00:05:37,236
What the hell are we gonna do
with that information, Brian?
161
00:05:37,237 --> 00:05:39,166
Get a step team out here?
Where's animal control?
162
00:05:39,167 --> 00:05:40,434
- They said they were slammed.
- Did you tell them we're
163
00:05:40,435 --> 00:05:41,463
dealing with a giant, frickin' snake?
164
00:05:41,464 --> 00:05:43,541
I did, but the woman on
the phone kept yelling at me
165
00:05:43,542 --> 00:05:45,250
about budget cuts, like it was my fault.
166
00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:47,283
Maybe she was going through some
other stuff, I don't know.
167
00:05:47,284 --> 00:05:48,806
Anyway, I'm not so positive
168
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:49,857
they're gonna be out here anytime soon.
169
00:05:49,858 --> 00:05:51,455
This is what happens
when you cut public services.
170
00:05:51,455 --> 00:05:53,038
Cindy, we're gonna have
to call your boyfriend.
171
00:05:53,038 --> 00:05:54,311
- Ex.
- Okay, whatever he is.
172
00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:55,312
Where's your phone?
173
00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:56,480
In my purse in the backseat.
174
00:05:56,482 --> 00:05:58,349
I got it.
175
00:05:58,351 --> 00:06:00,251
Be careful.
176
00:06:00,253 --> 00:06:02,686
Oh, holy cow! Ah, I touched its tail.
177
00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:05,523
It feels like a ghost went through me.
178
00:06:05,525 --> 00:06:07,992
- Okay, what's his name?
- Scott.
179
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:09,226
- Okay.
- Oh.
180
00:06:09,228 --> 00:06:10,928
But his name in my phone is Shit head.
181
00:06:10,930 --> 00:06:13,097
Right.
182
00:06:13,099 --> 00:06:14,698
It's gonna be fine.
183
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:17,368
Hey, is it...
184
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:19,370
No, no, it's not Cindy. I'm an EMT.
185
00:06:19,372 --> 00:06:20,971
Cindy was involved in a car accident,
186
00:06:20,973 --> 00:06:22,206
but she's fine.
187
00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:24,408
- He ask how I was?
- Yeah, I have your snake.
188
00:06:24,410 --> 00:06:26,210
Hey, hey, hey, hey, if anybody's a psycho,
189
00:06:26,212 --> 00:06:28,245
it's the person who bought
that huge frickin' thing
190
00:06:28,247 --> 00:06:29,246
in the first place.
191
00:06:29,248 --> 00:06:30,681
That's not a house pet, bro.
192
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:32,583
I don't care if you bought it
when you were high.
193
00:06:32,585 --> 00:06:34,618
Everybody buys something weird
when they're high.
194
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:36,253
Tell him if he gets back together with me,
195
00:06:36,255 --> 00:06:37,354
I'll give him back his snake.
196
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,422
Cindy, no.
197
00:06:38,424 --> 00:06:39,757
He left you for that tramp Trish.
198
00:06:39,759 --> 00:06:41,659
- He doesn't deserve you.
- And he has a tiny penis.
199
00:06:41,661 --> 00:06:42,660
All good points.
200
00:06:42,662 --> 00:06:44,795
Say it.
201
00:06:44,797 --> 00:06:46,530
Say it.
202
00:06:46,532 --> 00:06:48,465
Cindy says that if you get
back together with her,
203
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:50,801
she will give you Lord Byron back.
204
00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:52,803
Cool name, by the way.
205
00:06:52,805 --> 00:06:54,205
Right.
206
00:06:54,207 --> 00:06:55,472
He says he's with Trish now,
and you're crazy.
207
00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:56,807
Will you tell him he's a...
208
00:06:56,809 --> 00:06:58,475
No, I'm not getting in the middle of this.
209
00:06:58,477 --> 00:07:00,144
You have a snake wrapped around your neck.
210
00:07:00,146 --> 00:07:01,912
- Priorities, Cindy.
- Come on, Scott.
211
00:07:01,914 --> 00:07:03,414
Be a human being here.
212
00:07:03,416 --> 00:07:04,715
Is there anything you can tell me
213
00:07:04,717 --> 00:07:05,983
that might help us out?
214
00:07:05,985 --> 00:07:06,984
Oh, yeah. Oh, really?
215
00:07:06,986 --> 00:07:08,419
Well, you know what? Screw you, pal.
216
00:07:08,421 --> 00:07:09,820
Have fun with Trish. Asshole.
217
00:07:09,822 --> 00:07:11,922
He's such an asshole, right?
218
00:07:11,924 --> 00:07:14,191
[Sniffles]
219
00:07:14,193 --> 00:07:16,460
Cindy, uh, just gonna...
220
00:07:16,462 --> 00:07:17,962
Will you give us a second?
221
00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:19,363
- Be right here.
- Okay.
222
00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:24,635
How are we gonna get that snake
off her neck
223
00:07:24,637 --> 00:07:27,571
if animal control doesn't show up?
224
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:30,274
As we contemplated
what to do with the snake,
225
00:07:30,276 --> 00:07:32,877
I could see that Hank
was formulating a plan.
226
00:07:32,879 --> 00:07:34,245
Plan, what plan?
227
00:07:34,247 --> 00:07:36,180
I thought if I dictated it,
it would come true,
228
00:07:36,182 --> 00:07:38,115
like a "if you build it,
they will come" scenario.
229
00:07:38,117 --> 00:07:40,284
Why don't you make yourself
a hero of your own story
230
00:07:40,286 --> 00:07:41,585
and go in there and get the snake?
231
00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:42,987
I prefer to be the omnipotent narrator.
232
00:07:42,989 --> 00:07:45,155
- It's omniscient, bro.
- How do you know that?
233
00:07:45,157 --> 00:07:46,991
My ninth grade English teacher
was really hot.
234
00:07:46,993 --> 00:07:49,059
Brian, go see if you can find
anyone in the firehouse.
235
00:07:49,061 --> 00:07:50,861
If they're napping
or some shit, wake them up.
236
00:07:50,863 --> 00:07:53,330
See, that's a plan. The dictation worked.
237
00:07:53,332 --> 00:07:54,531
- Oh, you know what?
- What?
238
00:07:54,533 --> 00:07:57,902
I might have something.
239
00:07:57,904 --> 00:07:59,570
Hey, Cindy,
240
00:07:59,572 --> 00:08:01,105
um, can you do me a favor?
241
00:08:01,107 --> 00:08:03,440
Can you open your trunk?
242
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:04,441
Can you reach it?
243
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:05,442
Shh.
244
00:08:06,978 --> 00:08:07,978
[Click, thunk]
245
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,580
Ah, thank you.
246
00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:11,148
What are you doing?
247
00:08:13,018 --> 00:08:15,953
Oh, here we go.
248
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:17,922
What are you gonna do with that, club it?
249
00:08:17,924 --> 00:08:20,557
No, I'm gonna... I'm gonna poke it.
250
00:08:20,559 --> 00:08:21,759
- Really?
- Yeah.
251
00:08:21,761 --> 00:08:24,161
Well, we got to do something.
252
00:08:24,163 --> 00:08:26,130
Hey, Cindy, um...
253
00:08:28,266 --> 00:08:32,503
I am going to poke the python.
254
00:08:33,571 --> 00:08:35,005
Okay.
255
00:08:37,509 --> 00:08:38,575
[Gasps]
256
00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:39,677
I think it's getting looser.
257
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,145
Oh, I think it's working.
258
00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:42,680
Yeah, yeah, more.
259
00:08:42,682 --> 00:08:44,682
Okay. Yeah, there we go.
260
00:08:44,684 --> 00:08:46,884
- Yeah.
- I think it's loosening up.
261
00:08:46,886 --> 00:08:50,688
[Both yelling, muttering]
262
00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:52,923
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
263
00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:55,159
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh, it ran right at me!
264
00:08:55,161 --> 00:08:56,827
The snake ran right at me.
I jumped over it.
265
00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:58,729
- Did you see where it went?
- It was going towards a rig.
266
00:08:58,731 --> 00:09:00,431
Ah, what if it slides in there
267
00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:01,699
and touches my stuff?
268
00:09:01,701 --> 00:09:03,100
Either way, there's no way in hell
269
00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:04,168
we're going in that firehouse.
270
00:09:04,170 --> 00:09:05,302
Or the rig.
271
00:09:05,304 --> 00:09:07,237
Chicago North, ambulance needed...
272
00:09:07,239 --> 00:09:08,872
Hey, hey, how you feeling?
273
00:09:08,874 --> 00:09:10,374
14, you in the vicinity?
274
00:09:10,376 --> 00:09:12,910
We are dealing with a python
situation at the firehouse.
275
00:09:12,912 --> 00:09:14,178
We can't go anywhere.
276
00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,380
If that's a metaphor, I'm jealous.
277
00:09:16,382 --> 00:09:19,416
Unfortunately, it is not.
278
00:09:23,562 --> 00:09:24,729
It stinks back here.
279
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,031
It's not a limo, Maeve.
280
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:27,932
Look, it's cruel and unusual smelling.
281
00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:28,967
You want to switch seats, babe?
282
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,268
- Yes.
- No.
283
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,437
Well, I'd open a window, but I can't.
284
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,806
It's because we don't want
the criminals to get out, Maeve.
285
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,042
You were mean as a child,
and you're mean now.
286
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,144
Oh, wah.
287
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:42,347
[Exhales]
288
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:43,348
[Thud]
289
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:55,560
Sample sales
290
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,495
Ugh, fresh air.
291
00:09:57,497 --> 00:09:59,397
It smells like hobo farts in there.
292
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,765
Hey, remember, if we get a call,
293
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,933
we're abandoning your ass,
294
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,735
and you have to buy me
those red leather flats.
295
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:04,836
Of course you would want those.
296
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,271
What's that supposed to mean?
297
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,906
That you have the taste
of a 50-year-old lesbian.
298
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,341
Oh, no.
299
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,710
If this is a sample sale,
I don't think I like it.
300
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,179
I think I'm just gonna wait in the car.
301
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:15,647
- No, we need you.
- Why?
302
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:16,781
To hold our stuff.
303
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,054
How's your breathing?
304
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,289
Fine.
305
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:27,125
Any neck pain?
306
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:28,526
No, not really.
307
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:29,794
Looks like the python around your neck
308
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:30,795
prevented any whiplash.
309
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,897
- Cool.
- That is cool.
310
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,332
It's frickin' awesome, is what it is.
311
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,700
Yeah.
312
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,435
This is gonna make
a great chapter in my memoir.
313
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,003
Don't worry, I won't use your real name.
314
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:40,138
Call me Trish,
315
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,140
Trish Razinski. No, you could get
316
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,908
- [Car honking]
- in legal trouble for that.
317
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,143
Trish Slutski. Slutski.
318
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,177
- Okay.
- Nice.
319
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,612
It's Polish.
320
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,447
- Hey, Johnny.
- Hey, Stink hands.
321
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,882
What's going on here?
322
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:51,916
Uh, long story short,
323
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,318
she crashed her car,
324
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,354
and there is a python
in your firehouse or our rig.
325
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:57,622
My bad.
326
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,623
- No shit?
- No shit.
327
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,225
Huh. How's your dad?
328
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:01,459
Uh, he's good, I think.
329
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:02,760
What the hell is happening here?
330
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:05,630
Uh, there's a python in the firehouse.
331
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:07,832
Bullshit. You got pranked, Stink hands.
332
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,167
No, no, it is not a prank.
333
00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,303
There is an honest-to-God python
somewhere in there.
334
00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:14,439
- It escaped from Cindy's car.
- Yeah, right.
335
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:15,573
Okay.
336
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:22,247
Ooh! Shit, shit, shit!
337
00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:23,481
That's a big-ass snake.
338
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:24,916
- Yeah.
- It's yours?
339
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:27,519
My ex's, but like I was telling these guys,
340
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,121
it's all compensation.
341
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,056
How about me and you take
a tour of the fire truck?
342
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:33,057
- Sure.
- Yeah.
343
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:35,860
[Giggles] Hi.
344
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,328
Wow, that was impressive.
345
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:38,930
Why do girls like firemen?
346
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,665
They point a hose, big deal.
347
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:42,800
We just got a python off that girl's neck.
348
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,602
Seriously. They save more cats than people.
349
00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,237
We save more people in a month
350
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,705
than they do in their entire careers.
351
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,240
Hey, you guys need any help over here?
352
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,542
No, no, we good.
353
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,110
I mean, if you want to hang out...
354
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,778
No, thank you.
355
00:11:53,780 --> 00:11:55,146
[Whispers] That was smooth, man.
356
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,681
- [Whispers] Shut up.
- Way to show some restraint.
357
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,149
- Shut up.
- Animal control's here.
358
00:11:58,151 --> 00:11:59,751
Hey, thanks for coming.
359
00:11:59,753 --> 00:12:01,553
What's the problem?
360
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:02,854
There's a python in there.
361
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:04,155
You're yanking my chain, right?
362
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,290
Nope.
363
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,925
Okay, well, see you fellas later.
364
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,360
- Oh, where you going?
- No way I'm going in there.
365
00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:10,528
Isn't that sort of your job?
366
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:13,398
My brother is my boss. I cannot be fired.
367
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,432
So I don't care.
368
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:15,667
Oh, so you're a real pro?
369
00:12:15,669 --> 00:12:18,469
Listen, bud, I just refurbished my T-Bird
370
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:21,005
and closed on a houseboat on the Fox River.
371
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,640
Wow, congrats. Fox River, nice.
372
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,142
Thank you.
373
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,412
So you can understand why I
don't want my last thought to be
374
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:29,447
as that snake is strangling me,
375
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:33,017
that I did not drive my T-Bird
to my houseboat.
376
00:12:33,019 --> 00:12:34,719
There must be somebody in your department
377
00:12:34,721 --> 00:12:35,853
who specializes in snakes.
378
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,789
Ross. He got laid off.
379
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,958
- Budget cuts?
- I see you talked to Janet.
380
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,359
She gave me an earful.
381
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,261
I got this, you pussies.
382
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,163
Watch and learn, Steve-O.
383
00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,197
You're on your own, guys.
384
00:12:46,199 --> 00:12:47,665
Wait, before we kill it,
385
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,801
we should think about who's
really to blame here, huh?
386
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,103
The snake or the people?
387
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,705
According to my googling,
388
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,840
Lord Byron should be in southeast Asia,
389
00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,476
happily swimming in rivers
and eating local mammals.
390
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,411
It's not his fault that
he was born into captivity
391
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:02,447
in Wicker Park and Cindy's not a goat.
392
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,182
That's really nice.
393
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,084
I'm gonna go chop it in half.
394
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,719
- Thank you.
- Chop it in half... kill it.
395
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:10,121
- Kill him dead.
- Kill him.
396
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,323
Okay.
397
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,324
[Ax clatters]
398
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,792
- Was that...
- [Clank]
399
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,027
- Ah.
- That's good.
400
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:19,264
- That's a good chop.
- [Overlapping chatter]
401
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,999
- Wh...
- I panicked.
402
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,400
I threw it at him.
403
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,835
Now the snake has an ax. We need a gun.
404
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:24,902
Does anybody have a gun?
405
00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:26,871
You know who has a gun. Frank.
406
00:13:26,873 --> 00:13:28,940
No, I'm not calling my dad to bail me out.
407
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,608
I already texted him. He's coming over.
408
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,610
- Oh, great.
- Shit, Stink hands.
409
00:13:41,053 --> 00:13:43,221
Put it down, ladies.
410
00:13:43,223 --> 00:13:44,322
Evidence.
411
00:13:46,558 --> 00:13:47,558
- Billy.
- Yep.
412
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,726
Hold that.
413
00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:50,862
Hey, T, how long... Okay, never mind.
414
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,430
- Hi, baby.
- Hi.
415
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,999
So how much longer you think
we're just gonna hang out here...
416
00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,200
- Officer!
- Yep.
417
00:13:56,202 --> 00:13:58,002
That lady stole the sweater I wanted.
418
00:13:58,004 --> 00:14:00,004
It was clearly in my pile. Arrest her.
419
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,406
She's lying. It was my pile.
420
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,007
Ladies, ladies... Lad... okay, ladies.
421
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,142
Calm down for a second.
422
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:06,010
Calm down. It's just a sweater.
423
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,780
Oh, damn, is this cashmere...
424
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:12,583
And Periwinkle for $20 down from $200?
425
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,685
Are you kidding me?
426
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:15,753
This is such a good deal for cashmere.
427
00:14:15,755 --> 00:14:18,623
Okay... okay... T, I'm gonna need
backup over here.
428
00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,892
Be right there
right as soon as I try this on.
429
00:14:20,894 --> 00:14:23,061
Um, hey, listen, listen,
430
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:24,562
I think I got a solution.
431
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,632
Why don't we just cut this
sweater in half like a baby?
432
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,667
You know, like that dude in the Bible.
433
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:33,705
He cut this baby in half,
so then both women had a baby.
434
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:35,973
Wait. That's not how that story went.
435
00:14:35,975 --> 00:14:38,209
Um, okay, you know what I'm gonna do?
436
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,945
[All screaming]
437
00:14:43,298 --> 00:14:45,366
[Tires screeching]
438
00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:48,870
All right, the cavalry's here.
439
00:14:48,872 --> 00:14:50,004
You freakin' pussies.
440
00:14:50,006 --> 00:14:51,539
What are you, afraid of a little snake?
441
00:14:51,541 --> 00:14:53,241
Hey, it's a pretty big snake, Dad.
442
00:14:53,243 --> 00:14:54,976
It's got no arms and no legs.
443
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,611
I got two of each. I'm liking my odds.
444
00:14:56,613 --> 00:14:58,079
Okay, okay, relax.
445
00:14:58,081 --> 00:15:00,515
It's not as easy as you think
to capture a python.
446
00:15:00,517 --> 00:15:02,049
You're right. It's probably easier.
447
00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,384
Okay.
448
00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:04,819
It's not even one of those poisonous snakes
449
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:05,953
like a king cobra.
450
00:15:05,955 --> 00:15:06,988
Over in India, they got little dudes
451
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,389
playing flutes in their underwear,
452
00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:10,324
trapping those sons of bitches
in wicker baskets
453
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,325
all the time.
454
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,760
All right, big tough guy.
455
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:15,229
As I watched Johnny's dad's
godlike demeanor
456
00:15:15,231 --> 00:15:16,364
in the face of danger,
457
00:15:16,366 --> 00:15:18,900
I finally saw what manhood really was.
458
00:15:18,902 --> 00:15:20,334
And it meant business.
459
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,403
Brian, shut up.
460
00:15:22,405 --> 00:15:23,804
What was that? I liked it.
461
00:15:23,806 --> 00:15:26,174
I'm dictating my memoirs.
462
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,242
Good for you. Well, watch and dictate.
463
00:15:28,244 --> 00:15:30,578
I'm about to give you some killer material.
464
00:15:30,580 --> 00:15:32,046
- Okay.
- All right, get him, Frank.
465
00:15:32,048 --> 00:15:33,181
[Cocks gun]
466
00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:36,784
Go get him, Frank.
467
00:15:36,786 --> 00:15:37,785
[Gunshot]
468
00:15:37,787 --> 00:15:39,720
Hey. [Laughs] He got him.
469
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:40,721
That's my dad.
470
00:15:40,723 --> 00:15:41,756
[Gunshots]
471
00:15:41,758 --> 00:15:42,990
Now he's just showing off.
472
00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,759
- Don't shoot the TV, Frank.
- Yeah.
473
00:15:44,761 --> 00:15:47,228
[Clattering, thudding, objects smashing]
474
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:49,430
[Whimpering] Oh!
That freakin' thing is huge!
475
00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:50,631
[Laughter]
476
00:15:50,633 --> 00:15:53,034
Jesus, it's fast! Is it following me?
477
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,336
Shut up, you dickless jerks!
478
00:15:55,338 --> 00:15:56,704
And you with the hair,
479
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,140
don't even think of putting that
in your goddamn book.
480
00:15:59,142 --> 00:16:00,508
- What if I change your name?
- No!
481
00:16:04,446 --> 00:16:05,846
Back off, bitch!
482
00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:08,282
What? No, I'm the store manager.
483
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:10,851
And there's a woman over there shoplifting.
484
00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:14,455
[Sighs]
485
00:16:14,457 --> 00:16:16,190
We got a shoplifter on the move.
486
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,326
She's headed to the back entrance.
487
00:16:18,328 --> 00:16:21,195
I'm trapped, T, I'll never get
over there in time.
488
00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:24,098
Shit, she's getting away.
She's getting away.
489
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,400
- No!
- [Yelps]
490
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,102
- Women: Oh!
- [Murmuring]
491
00:16:33,275 --> 00:16:35,309
Holy shit, nice, babe.
492
00:16:35,311 --> 00:16:36,310
You just caught the perp.
493
00:16:36,312 --> 00:16:37,845
That was really athletic.
494
00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:39,814
You just looked like a fine-ass J.J. Watt
495
00:16:39,816 --> 00:16:41,115
the way you just jumped at her.
496
00:16:41,117 --> 00:16:42,383
What? What perp?
497
00:16:42,385 --> 00:16:45,219
This bitch just stole the dress I wanted.
498
00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:46,954
Oh, okay, come on.
499
00:16:46,956 --> 00:16:48,456
Okay.
500
00:16:52,961 --> 00:16:54,528
Well, look at this.
501
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,966
What the hell are you guys doing here?
502
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:00,901
It's all over the squawk box.
503
00:17:00,903 --> 00:17:03,304
Every emergency service in Chicago
504
00:17:03,306 --> 00:17:05,039
is talking about this shit.
505
00:17:05,041 --> 00:17:07,008
You guys are a bunch of wimps.
506
00:17:07,010 --> 00:17:08,809
You're supposed to be tough.
507
00:17:08,811 --> 00:17:12,313
Being brave is literally part
of your job description.
508
00:17:12,315 --> 00:17:14,215
I am disgusted.
509
00:17:14,217 --> 00:17:17,785
And where is the animal control guy?
510
00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,619
- Have you no pride?
- I do not.
511
00:17:20,619 --> 00:17:21,389
Disgraceful.
512
00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:25,126
Let me show y'all how a real man
handles this business.
513
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:27,862
Voodoo, go get him.
514
00:17:27,864 --> 00:17:29,130
Yes, sir.
515
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,565
And off she went, my snake charmer.
516
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,167
I like that. Good use of metaphor.
517
00:17:33,169 --> 00:17:34,635
We should start a writers' group.
518
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,570
I can't believe you'd let
a small blonde woman
519
00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:38,639
walk directly into the gates of hell.
520
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,041
Voodoo, you don't have to do this.
521
00:17:40,043 --> 00:17:41,375
I've been in there. I've seen it.
522
00:17:41,377 --> 00:17:43,277
This is no normal snake. You got to...
523
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:44,478
Uh, you were saying?
524
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,213
All: Oh!
525
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:47,381
- Okay.
- That's impressive.
526
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:48,749
- Whoo-hoo!
- You okay?
527
00:17:48,751 --> 00:17:50,718
- Not too close, not too close.
- Yeah, it's fine.
528
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,186
That's the one that's a witch, right?
529
00:17:52,188 --> 00:17:53,721
Yeah.
530
00:17:53,723 --> 00:17:56,757
Do you think you could bring
that into the office for me?
531
00:17:56,759 --> 00:17:57,958
Okay.
532
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,160
Ask for Janet.
533
00:17:59,162 --> 00:18:00,995
Voo, how'd you learn to do that?
534
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,363
Learn?
535
00:18:02,365 --> 00:18:05,099
I just picked up the snake
and stayed away from the mouth.
536
00:18:05,101 --> 00:18:06,500
It's not rocket science.
537
00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,469
- Plus, look how cute he is.
- No, he's not that cute.
538
00:18:08,471 --> 00:18:09,737
Wait a minute.
539
00:18:09,739 --> 00:18:12,673
Does this mean Scott doesn't get
his snake back?
540
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:13,808
I don't know.
541
00:18:13,810 --> 00:18:14,809
Probably not.
542
00:18:14,811 --> 00:18:16,310
Perfect.
543
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,312
Oh, my God, can you take a picture of this?
544
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:20,981
- No.
- Okay.
545
00:18:20,983 --> 00:18:22,683
Can you, kind sir?
546
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,485
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
547
00:18:24,487 --> 00:18:27,588
Steven, buddy, get up in this,
548
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,423
like, real tight.
549
00:18:31,593 --> 00:18:32,693
Take that, shit head.
550
00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:34,562
All: Smile.
551
00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:39,967
Hey, those are my clothes.
552
00:18:39,969 --> 00:18:41,168
No, they're not.
553
00:18:41,170 --> 00:18:45,005
News flash... you have
to pay money for things.
554
00:18:45,007 --> 00:18:47,074
Maeve, stop. That is evidence.
555
00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:48,676
No, this is your stuff.
556
00:18:48,678 --> 00:18:51,712
You have, like, terrible taste, Theresa.
557
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:52,813
- [Laughs]
- Oh, please.
558
00:18:52,815 --> 00:18:54,081
I saw what you stole.
559
00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:55,649
Besides that dress, everything you had
560
00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,685
looked like something
a grandmother would die in.
561
00:18:57,687 --> 00:18:59,420
Ow.
562
00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:03,324
Would you stop? I will pull this car over.
563
00:19:03,326 --> 00:19:05,226
I got to say, I'm not hating this.
564
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,228
Babe, I think that you would
really kick ass
565
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:08,229
in a woman's prison,
566
00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,497
and you look good in orange.
567
00:19:09,499 --> 00:19:11,198
I think you look good in all colors.
568
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,534
Thanks, baby.
569
00:19:13,536 --> 00:19:15,202
Don't think I won't arrest you, Maeve.
570
00:19:15,204 --> 00:19:16,470
- Bitch.
- Totally.
571
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,911
- What was that?
- Both: Nothing.
572
00:19:23,419 --> 00:19:26,154
Aw, that was awesome. I feel so alive.
573
00:19:26,156 --> 00:19:28,356
I feel double alive because
I saw my dad run away
574
00:19:28,358 --> 00:19:29,924
from that snake like an overgrown baby.
575
00:19:29,926 --> 00:19:31,726
Well, the apple didn't fall
too far from the tree.
576
00:19:31,728 --> 00:19:32,861
Whatever.
577
00:19:32,863 --> 00:19:34,863
It is a day I will not soon forget.
578
00:19:34,865 --> 00:19:36,097
Oh, that's right, Brian.
579
00:19:36,099 --> 00:19:37,565
You got a lot of good stuff
for your memoirs.
580
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,167
Yeah, what do you got so far? Bust it out.
581
00:19:39,169 --> 00:19:40,768
Well, it's a work in progress.
582
00:19:40,770 --> 00:19:42,237
Oh, come on.
583
00:19:42,239 --> 00:19:44,172
Okay, all right.
584
00:19:44,174 --> 00:19:45,240
Twist my arm, here we go.
585
00:19:45,242 --> 00:19:46,508
And it was during this period
586
00:19:46,510 --> 00:19:48,409
that I was dealing
with a smelly fart issue,
587
00:19:48,411 --> 00:19:52,113
so I was grateful
that I wasn't having any sex.
588
00:19:52,115 --> 00:19:53,948
Ha ha ha, Johnny.
589
00:19:53,950 --> 00:19:54,949
Very funny.
590
00:19:54,951 --> 00:19:57,218
As I bent over to get my bag,
591
00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:59,721
I hoped that the guys didn't see my thong.
592
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:03,057
How small is too small when
it comes to your own testicles?
593
00:20:03,059 --> 00:20:04,292
Very mature. Very mature.
594
00:20:04,294 --> 00:20:06,327
Very mature, guys, very mature.
595
00:20:06,329 --> 00:20:08,296
Don't stop. This is good stuff. Keep going.
596
00:20:08,298 --> 00:20:09,964
Come on, I want to hear what happens next.
597
00:20:09,966 --> 00:20:13,968
Then I realized that I was one
of the best, most understanding
598
00:20:13,970 --> 00:20:15,336
friends a girl could have.
599
00:20:15,338 --> 00:20:16,504
That's sweet.
600
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:18,172
- We thought you would like it.
- I like that.
601
00:20:18,174 --> 00:20:19,974
Hey, Brian, I just wanted to give you
602
00:20:19,976 --> 00:20:21,209
a taste of the book I'm writing.
603
00:20:21,211 --> 00:20:22,210
Let's hear it.
604
00:20:22,212 --> 00:20:24,045
"The lady astronaut trembled
605
00:20:24,047 --> 00:20:26,948
"as the hunky space alien undressed her.
606
00:20:26,950 --> 00:20:30,084
"As her eyes passed over
his strapping body,
607
00:20:30,086 --> 00:20:34,155
"she realized that their species
could, indeed, mix.
608
00:20:34,157 --> 00:20:35,690
- His glistening"...
- All: No.
609
00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:37,258
- Okay, all right.
- No, thank you.
610
00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:39,227
- That's good.
- Thank you, I'm good.
611
00:20:39,229 --> 00:20:40,662
It's been a good day, you guys.
612
00:20:40,664 --> 00:20:41,696
It was a good day.
613
00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:42,997
It's all right.
614
00:20:42,999 --> 00:20:45,667
We encountered a python with an ax, Hank.
615
00:20:45,669 --> 00:20:47,802
- What was his name?
- Lord Byron.
616
00:20:47,804 --> 00:20:49,571
Who names a snake "Lord Byron"?
617
00:20:49,573 --> 00:20:50,905
An idiot. A hipster.
618
00:20:50,907 --> 00:20:52,040
What's the difference?
619
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,142
- [Laughs]
- That's good, Brian.
620
00:20:54,144 --> 00:20:55,143
That's pretty good, man.
621
00:20:55,193 --> 00:20:59,743
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