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1
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Davina? Davina Davis?
2
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Oh, I can't believe you're here.
I thought you'd be in Hollywood
3
00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:11,689
- or something.
- I'm just saying it's natural.
4
00:00:11,709 --> 00:00:14,047
We start dying as soon as we're born.
If you think about it,
5
00:00:14,067 --> 00:00:16,049
it's amazing our hearts
beat as long as they do.
6
00:00:16,069 --> 00:00:19,772
If happy enough is good enough for you,
then relax,
7
00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:23,792
but I suggest
you find out what you want
8
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and get it
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as quickly as possible.
10
00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:34,275
Ok. The test results are in.
11
00:00:35,213 --> 00:00:36,855
Are you ready for this?
12
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Yes.
13
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- You're sure?
- Yes.
14
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This particular test
15
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:45,320
is extremely accurate.
16
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We've run it twice. Do you understand?
17
00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:50,091
Yes.
18
00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:53,828
Your test was...
19
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- negative. Tada!
- Oh, God! Ha! Ha! Ha!
20
00:00:57,899 --> 00:00:59,867
Ok. Why do you always do this?
21
00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:02,408
- I live for the drama of the moment.
- Jesus!
22
00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:05,423
Well, cheer up,
you don't have throat cancer.
23
00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:08,662
You got a sore throat, probably the smog.
24
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Mine's sore too actually.
25
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,779
But you told me I should do the test, so...
26
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Now, you know definitively and you
won't worry, which is something you do.
27
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I do. I worry. It's true.
28
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And can you tell me again
why this test wasn't covered?
29
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They feel that it's not necessary, because
30
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of the astronomical odds
against you actually having it.
31
00:01:26,927 --> 00:01:28,572
But you know something?
32
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People get struck by lightning every day.
33
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Which is why I'm a hypochondriac.
34
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Because statistics have no meaning, right?
35
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And if I can alleviate needless worry,
36
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- then I've done my job.
- Thank you.
37
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- Thank you very much.
- Do you always do that?
38
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What? Do?
39
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Blink asymmetrically.
40
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Hmm... uh...
41
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I'm sure it's nothing, but, you know what,
42
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let's have a quick look at that eye,
43
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make sure it's tumor-free.
44
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S01E03
The Three Sisters
45
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sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
46
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- (Davina): Al?
- Coming.
47
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The tumor grows behind the eyes,
48
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swells, the eye deforms,
49
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and that can cause asymmetrical blinking.
50
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- He's such a crock of shit.
- Or it isn't
51
00:02:42,754 --> 00:02:44,736
and it's eye cancer.
52
00:02:44,803 --> 00:02:47,404
Dr. Cass says I should go
easy on it for a while.
53
00:02:47,472 --> 00:02:49,373
- Go easy on what?
- The eye
54
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- until after the MRI.
- Oh, God!
55
00:02:52,077 --> 00:02:54,045
When they do the MRI,
have them check for a brain as well.
56
00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:56,046
Oh, that's great. That's really sensitive.
57
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You've been seeing this guy for 13 years,
58
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you've had a million tests.
its cost us a fortune
59
00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,953
and he's never found a thing.
60
00:03:02,987 --> 00:03:04,955
Oh, and so that makes him a bad doctor?
61
00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:08,592
- Yes, that makes him a terrible doctor.
- Ho ho!
62
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(Soft jazz music playing) (People talking)
63
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(Davina):
I don't know we come to these things.
64
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(Al): Networking.
I have to network if I want to work, work.
65
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(Davina): You never talk to anyone but me.
66
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You're the only one I want to talk to.
That's the problem.
67
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You can talk to me anytime you want.
68
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,526
I know but if I dragged
you to one of these work cocktail thingies,
69
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I get to see you wearing my favorite dress.
70
00:03:31,548 --> 00:03:34,517
- What? This old thing?
- Yep. I remember when we got that.
71
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- Yes, I do.
- When?
72
00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:39,123
It was for Orlando's graduation, right?
73
00:03:39,143 --> 00:03:40,356
Ah, it was 6 years ago.
74
00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:42,725
Oh, come on,
you really haven't changed a bit.
75
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,489
- You look fan...
- Hey! Hey!
76
00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:47,696
- He didn't even stop. Hey!
- No, no, no. Don't. He's pinkerton.
77
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- If it wasn't for my eye...
- Now, hold this.
78
00:03:50,566 --> 00:03:52,567
I'm going to go clean this up.
And while I am gone,
79
00:03:52,602 --> 00:03:54,937
go talk to someone. Network...
80
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And if I do...
81
00:04:01,204 --> 00:04:02,766
Ok...
82
00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:05,079
Networking.
83
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,416
(Al sighs.)
84
00:04:36,211 --> 00:04:38,346
Oh! I'm sorry.
85
00:04:38,413 --> 00:04:40,348
No, no, it was my fault.
86
00:04:40,415 --> 00:04:42,683
I didn't lock the door,
because I was only cleaning.
87
00:04:42,718 --> 00:04:45,653
- Well, you're the maid?
- No.
88
00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:48,046
Cleaning my dress.
89
00:04:48,066 --> 00:04:49,890
Someone spilled wine on it.
90
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,451
- Not red I hope.
- White. Thank God.
91
00:04:52,471 --> 00:04:54,061
Thank God for small mercies.
92
00:04:54,095 --> 00:04:57,597
- Yes.
- Yes. Bob.
93
00:04:58,061 --> 00:04:59,836
What?
94
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My name, it's Bob.
95
00:05:03,608 --> 00:05:05,839
Oh! Davina.
96
00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:09,141
- Davina.
- A feminine form of David
97
00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:11,378
from the Hebrew "dah-veed" meaning beloved.
98
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,279
Ah, a writer.
99
00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,214
- Ha! Ha! Ha!
- Or rabbi.
100
00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,316
No, a writer. Please.
101
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:20,152
And what about you?
- I am not.
102
00:05:20,172 --> 00:05:22,889
Oh... and what are you then?
103
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:25,950
I work in an art gallery.
104
00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,795
Hmm, when I was younger, I was a model,
105
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and an actress.
106
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Although I did more modeling.
Print work mostly.
107
00:05:35,322 --> 00:05:37,536
I never really liked performing.
108
00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,572
Maybe... Maybe it wasn't any good.
109
00:05:40,702 --> 00:05:44,576
No. No, no, no. I was good, but, well...
110
00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:48,346
Takes more than talent to
make it as an actress and...
111
00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:50,682
Anyway, you know, things come up
112
00:05:50,702 --> 00:05:53,366
and you make choices and...
113
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life leads you somewhere you didn't expect
114
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or even want at the time.
115
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:01,126
But I think ultimately, that's a good thing
116
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,128
to let life happen to you,
117
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:06,431
because I've...
I've never been a 5-year-plan
118
00:06:06,498 --> 00:06:08,633
kind of person. That's... that's limiting,
119
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,635
and I'm realistic,
120
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and ultimately, inevitably disappointing.
121
00:06:16,538 --> 00:06:18,275
Um...
122
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What was the question?
123
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What do you do?
124
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,949
- (He laughs.)
- I, uh...
125
00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:28,118
I work in an art gallery. Part-time.
126
00:06:30,388 --> 00:06:32,489
Yes. Well, um...
127
00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:35,088
We've had quite a long conversation
128
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considering we're in a bathroom.
129
00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:40,364
Can you imagine all the dramas
that take place inside bathrooms?
130
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All the whispered fights, all the tears,
131
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the mad sex,
132
00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,403
you know, people born in bathrooms.
133
00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:49,873
And there's a high probability
that we'll die in one.
134
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- Well, not tonight, I hope.
- Is that it?
135
00:06:54,161 --> 00:06:55,724
What?
136
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,747
The wine stain.
137
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,718
Oh! Yes, it's...
138
00:07:03,653 --> 00:07:06,022
It's not too bad, is it?
- No.
139
00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:08,905
It's a very lucky stain.
140
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,908
Ha! Ha! Ha! Well...
141
00:07:12,376 --> 00:07:15,925
It's all yours.
The bathroom, I mean...
142
00:07:16,818 --> 00:07:19,077
Bob. (Bog laughs.)
143
00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,337
I'm sorry that I went on and on
144
00:07:22,372 --> 00:07:25,574
about not knowing who I am. I-I...
145
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I don't know why I did that.
146
00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,780
You won't listen to me,
but you'll listen to Davina?
147
00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:34,683
Well, the implication was
that I would be rewarded
148
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with sex if I did some successful network.
149
00:07:36,752 --> 00:07:39,587
I can't help you there.
An agent has to draw
150
00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:41,756
- the line somewhere.
- Thank God! So upon whom
151
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:44,692
- should I pounce?
- Well, Robert Ringwald is here.
152
00:07:44,727 --> 00:07:46,794
Really? He's great. He's a genius.
153
00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:49,296
- This doesn't count.
- Yes, it's networking... no?
154
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- No.
- You'll never guess
155
00:07:50,288 --> 00:07:52,134
who's here. Robert Ringwald.
156
00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:54,903
Who's Robert Ringworm?
- Robert "Ringworm"
157
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:58,239
is a very successful,
fabulously talented columnist.
158
00:07:58,273 --> 00:08:00,241
He's the man I aspire to be one day.
159
00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:02,744
But you can't actually be someone else.
160
00:08:02,811 --> 00:08:05,046
Oh yes, you can if you murder
them and you wear their skin,
161
00:08:05,113 --> 00:08:07,148
- you can.
- Speak of the devil.
162
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:09,616
Bob, uh... this is a client of mine.
163
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,618
Al Jackson. Al.
164
00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:14,755
Wow! I... Mr. Ringworm...
165
00:08:14,789 --> 00:08:17,458
Wald. I read your piece
166
00:08:17,492 --> 00:08:19,660
about Syria in the vanity fair,
167
00:08:19,727 --> 00:08:21,695
and, uh, it was great.
168
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- It was really great.
- Thank you. And you are...?
169
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,568
Oh, this is my wife, Davina. Sorry.
170
00:08:27,635 --> 00:08:30,403
How do you do, Davina?
Sorry, my hand's a little damp.
171
00:08:30,471 --> 00:08:32,908
- I was just in the washroom.
- Al's a columnist, too.
172
00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,608
- Are you?
- Yeah, well, I mean
173
00:08:34,642 --> 00:08:36,777
I'm a columnist in the
sense that I have a column,
174
00:08:36,844 --> 00:08:39,046
but I'm not a...
You know, you're a columnist;
175
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,448
- I write a column.
- Oh, what are you working on?
176
00:08:41,468 --> 00:08:43,783
He wrote a hilarious piece
177
00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,219
on Christmas lighting displays.
When was that?
178
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- Last Christmas.
- Yes, but I'm working
179
00:08:48,322 --> 00:08:50,690
on something a little longer right now,
180
00:08:50,757 --> 00:08:54,227
a more serious thing.
It's about what makes a classic,
181
00:08:54,295 --> 00:08:57,063
- and how we can identify it.
- A classic...
182
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A perfect example
183
00:08:59,365 --> 00:09:01,067
of something.
You know it as soon as you see it.
184
00:09:01,134 --> 00:09:03,903
But true, true,
the criteria are very hard to define.
185
00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:06,584
- Yes.
- Grace,
186
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:10,456
timelessness, beauty obviously.
187
00:09:11,076 --> 00:09:12,144
You know what?
188
00:09:12,212 --> 00:09:14,146
I need some judges for this book prize
189
00:09:14,214 --> 00:09:16,148
that I'm working on.
A little bit of light reading.
190
00:09:16,182 --> 00:09:18,016
- What do you say?
- Me?
191
00:09:18,084 --> 00:09:19,650
- Yes.
- He'd be thrilled.
192
00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:21,219
Yes, of course!
193
00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,589
Well, terrific.
You'd be doing me a great favour.
194
00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:26,225
And what do you do?
195
00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:29,161
I work in an art gallery...
196
00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,319
Part-time.
197
00:09:36,593 --> 00:09:38,348
About your eye
198
00:09:38,368 --> 00:09:41,072
and the possible cancer therein,
199
00:09:41,107 --> 00:09:43,274
your tests were... are you ready?
200
00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:47,145
- Please, just tell me. Please.
- Inconclusive.
201
00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:49,113
(Stuttering): They're what?
202
00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:51,449
I'm sure it's a lab error.
You wouldn't believe
203
00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:54,952
how often that happens.
All the tears shed for nothing.
204
00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,820
What does it...
Does it say I have eye cancer?
205
00:09:56,855 --> 00:09:59,957
No, no, it just doesn't say
you don't have eye cancer.
206
00:09:59,991 --> 00:10:02,193
I'm sending your test to another lab.
207
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,395
In the meantime, try not
208
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,397
- to use your eyes.
- Well, they're not used.
209
00:10:07,431 --> 00:10:09,633
You know, I mean, give them a rest.
210
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:12,169
Right. Well,
I have a huge pile of books to read.
211
00:10:12,203 --> 00:10:14,471
Well, they're your eyes. Oh, I want
212
00:10:14,505 --> 00:10:16,506
to thank you for referring
the patient to me.
213
00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:19,009
- Oh, Bob Ringwald.
- Yes, migraines.
214
00:10:19,044 --> 00:10:21,244
At least, we hope they're migraines. Here.
215
00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:22,760
- What's this?
- A fridge magnet.
216
00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:24,772
A little thank you for the referral.
217
00:10:24,773 --> 00:10:27,817
Now remember,
don't use your eyes unless you have to.
218
00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:30,820
Right. I'll remember that when
I get your bill.
219
00:10:32,888 --> 00:10:34,935
Thank you, I guess.
220
00:10:34,955 --> 00:10:36,194
(Bell tinkling)
221
00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:37,260
Sorry.
222
00:10:37,328 --> 00:10:40,329
- No street car.
- Someone's waiting for you.
223
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,899
- Who?
- That's the intriguing part.
224
00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:45,706
He wouldn't say his name. (She sighs.)
225
00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:48,104
Don't fuck up your life.
226
00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:50,339
Shut up. (Soft classical music playing)
227
00:10:51,842 --> 00:10:54,476
- Oh!
- Oh, hi.
228
00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:57,346
- Hi.
- Uh...
229
00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,381
Bob Ringwald. We met in a bathroom.
230
00:10:59,449 --> 00:11:01,450
I remember you.
231
00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,485
Well, that's a start.
232
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,221
Can, uh,
233
00:11:05,255 --> 00:11:08,424
- I help you find something?
- I hope so.
234
00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,967
Something original?
Wh-what are you looking for?
235
00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:12,728
Well, arguably, I have everything.
236
00:11:12,795 --> 00:11:14,004
(Davina chuckles.)
237
00:11:14,024 --> 00:11:15,803
It's true.
238
00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:19,134
I've done everything, seen everything.
239
00:11:19,502 --> 00:11:21,803
I was in Tiananmen Square in 1989.
240
00:11:21,838 --> 00:11:23,805
I met with 3 popes.
241
00:11:23,873 --> 00:11:26,596
I saw an eclipse in the south pole.
242
00:11:26,616 --> 00:11:28,142
Actually, that was a little disappointing,
243
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:31,779
because it was only a partial eclipse,
and it was really cold.
244
00:11:31,847 --> 00:11:34,882
- I bet.
- My point is that I have lived
245
00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:37,946
a fabulous, rewarding, and enviable life,
246
00:11:37,966 --> 00:11:39,989
but I've lived it alone.
247
00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:45,150
I've reported on it to strangers,
but I've never shared it.
248
00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:47,527
I've never been able to-to...
249
00:11:47,562 --> 00:11:50,865
connect with anyone
250
00:11:50,932 --> 00:11:52,867
in any kind of real way.
251
00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:54,201
Oh, my.
252
00:11:54,269 --> 00:11:57,404
And then, I bump into you
253
00:11:57,472 --> 00:12:00,574
in a bathroom at a very boring party.
254
00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:05,028
- It was... a boring party.
- But there it was.
255
00:12:06,845 --> 00:12:08,707
A connection.
256
00:12:11,573 --> 00:12:14,407
It was unprecedented for...
257
00:12:14,427 --> 00:12:16,590
So you ask what I'm looking for.
258
00:12:18,675 --> 00:12:20,626
Well, I think I found it.
259
00:12:23,986 --> 00:12:26,599
I am...
260
00:12:26,932 --> 00:12:28,868
- I'm not for sale.
- I'm not
261
00:12:28,903 --> 00:12:31,119
trying to buy you;
262
00:12:31,139 --> 00:12:32,906
I just want to share my life with you.
263
00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:35,374
Ho! Ho! Ho! God!
264
00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:37,610
- That's...
- Will you have a drink
265
00:12:37,644 --> 00:12:40,145
- with me tonight?
- No. Um...
266
00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:43,252
I'm going to a show
tonight with my husband...
267
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,815
Al.
268
00:12:46,838 --> 00:12:48,621
Ok.
269
00:12:50,489 --> 00:12:53,258
- Have fun.
- I plan to.
270
00:12:53,693 --> 00:12:56,051
It's Chekhov. (Bob laughs a little.)
271
00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:08,973
"Margaret sat at the table
272
00:13:09,007 --> 00:13:11,609
and squeezed the torn hem in her fist.
273
00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:14,579
I don't have the strength to mend this,'
she said.
274
00:13:14,613 --> 00:13:17,315
as her daughter's green
eyes welled with tears."
275
00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:20,013
I don't understand why she's
so upset about the dress, man.
276
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,420
Well, it's what the dress represents.
277
00:13:22,455 --> 00:13:24,788
I know, but still,
just fix the fucking dress, Margaret.
278
00:13:24,823 --> 00:13:26,900
- What the hell!
- Hey.
279
00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:30,228
- Theodore's reading to me.
- Doctor said he can't use his eyes.
280
00:13:30,295 --> 00:13:32,763
Oh, seriously,
does that make any sense to you?
281
00:13:32,797 --> 00:13:35,933
Have you ever heard any doctor anywhere
ever say anything like that before?
282
00:13:35,968 --> 00:13:40,270
- The tests were inconclusive.
- Reading does not cause cancer!
283
00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:42,439
You haven't read these books.
What was that first one?
284
00:13:42,474 --> 00:13:44,842
Uh, Suspended Betwixt.
285
00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:46,844
I had to do a line just
to get through this shit.
286
00:13:46,878 --> 00:13:48,846
Get ready, the play starts in an hour.
287
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,114
Oh, honey, I can't.
I've got a mountain of words
288
00:13:51,182 --> 00:13:53,265
to get through, and it's slower this way.
289
00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:55,452
Not because you're a slow reader,
it's just harder
290
00:13:55,487 --> 00:13:56,951
not have a discourse about the material.
291
00:13:56,971 --> 00:13:59,655
It's true.
The discourse does tend to slow us down.
292
00:13:59,817 --> 00:14:01,424
Jesus!
293
00:14:04,362 --> 00:14:07,364
My heart filled with joy
and I longed passionately
294
00:14:07,384 --> 00:14:09,766
to go home. (Whistling and piano music)
295
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:13,102
Don't whistle, Marsha. How can you?
296
00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:15,070
I keep getting headaches
from all the things
297
00:14:15,138 --> 00:14:17,106
running through my mind.
298
00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,675
It makes me feel like an old woman already.
299
00:14:19,743 --> 00:14:22,678
These past few years,
I felt my youth and energy
300
00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:26,048
drain away drop by drop each day.
301
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,385
Only one thing grows
stronger and stronger...
302
00:14:29,419 --> 00:14:32,908
- A certain longing...
- to get away.
303
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,589
Yes.
304
00:14:34,657 --> 00:14:36,658
- To escape.
- Yes.
305
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,693
- But where?
- To Moscow.
306
00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:42,642
- I don't want to go to Moscow.
- There is only Moscow.
307
00:14:42,662 --> 00:14:43,999
Moscow,
308
00:14:44,019 --> 00:14:46,267
Moscow, Moscow.
309
00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:48,613
- There are other places.
- Like where?
310
00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:49,752
There's nowhere else.
311
00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:53,542
- Only Moscow.
- Moscow, Moscow, Moscow.
312
00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:56,244
Still, I have heard of a seaside town
313
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,246
on the black sea that's very pretty.
314
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,214
It's got no sand,
315
00:15:00,282 --> 00:15:02,650
but the pebbles are smooth.
316
00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:08,122
- Sorry.
- What about Santa Barbara?
317
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:10,191
- Santa Barbara?!
- Mm-hmm.
318
00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:12,193
You want to go to Santa Barbara?
319
00:15:12,227 --> 00:15:15,296
- Well, maybe.
- Why?
320
00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,433
- Well that's where he lives.
- Who?
321
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,068
- Robert Ringwald.
- Robert Ringwald,
322
00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:23,653
- the columnist?
- Yes.
323
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,291
Oh no. He wrote an essay about us once.
324
00:15:26,311 --> 00:15:29,505
Something about Moscow and
post-feminist yearning.
325
00:15:29,525 --> 00:15:32,124
Went on so long we could have
walked there in less time.
326
00:15:32,144 --> 00:15:35,511
- So why him?
- Because he's strong
327
00:15:35,747 --> 00:15:39,092
and he knows what he
wants and how to get it.
328
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:43,063
And he's, he's funny and smart
329
00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:46,159
and handsome and successful
330
00:15:46,194 --> 00:15:48,228
and... when he looks at you
331
00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:51,298
he makes you feel that you
are the most beautiful woman
332
00:15:51,332 --> 00:15:55,702
in the world and everything is possible.
333
00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:00,072
- That would work.
- Oh yeah.
334
00:16:00,107 --> 00:16:03,313
- Still. It'll all end in tears.
- Yep.
335
00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:05,344
- I give it a week.
- Let's just hope her husband
336
00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:07,079
- doesn't find out.
- He's bound to.
337
00:16:07,114 --> 00:16:08,852
- And it will kill him.
- Or he'll kill her.
338
00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:10,888
Or both of them. With a sabre.
339
00:16:10,908 --> 00:16:12,786
Why, why are you all being so negative?
340
00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,392
What do you expect?
We're characters in a Chekhov play.
341
00:16:15,412 --> 00:16:18,724
We're bound to sound negative.
- Unless we were in the seagull.
342
00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:21,042
- What?
- Well that was a comedy.
343
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,695
- Have you seen it?
- No.
344
00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:29,735
- I have.
- So what's the last line?
345
00:16:30,631 --> 00:16:31,737
I don't know.
346
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:33,872
"Constantine has shot himself."
347
00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:36,408
Oh.
348
00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,577
Yeah. So trust me, sweetheart.
349
00:16:38,611 --> 00:16:40,879
It's all going to end in tears.
350
00:16:42,016 --> 00:16:44,749
I expect andrei will become professor,
351
00:16:44,783 --> 00:16:46,717
but he won't want to live here.
352
00:16:46,785 --> 00:16:49,466
I guess only Masha will
have to go on living here.
353
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,272
Masha can come and visit us every year,
354
00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:53,291
and for the whole summer.
355
00:17:09,575 --> 00:17:11,542
You busy?
356
00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:12,925
- Oh!
- I'm sorry.
357
00:17:12,945 --> 00:17:15,493
No, no. I'm glad you came.
358
00:17:15,513 --> 00:17:17,948
I want to talk about this
thing that's going on.
359
00:17:17,982 --> 00:17:20,650
- Well, it's not really a thing yet.
- Well, let's talk about
360
00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:23,887
- why it can't be.
- Ok. But before you say anything, I...
361
00:17:23,907 --> 00:17:27,224
I realize
that I came on hard the other day.
362
00:17:27,244 --> 00:17:29,259
And if you add to that
the fact that there was
363
00:17:29,294 --> 00:17:31,468
some light stalking involved,
well, I realize that's not
364
00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:33,056
- the best impression...
- Bob, this is impossible.
365
00:17:33,076 --> 00:17:34,980
I'm married.
- I know.
366
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,804
And I'm keeping your
husband busy with books.
367
00:17:36,824 --> 00:17:39,856
Long, terrible books. Ten of them.
368
00:17:39,876 --> 00:17:42,939
- Just so you could see me?
- Yeah. Off-putting?
369
00:17:43,007 --> 00:17:44,874
This isn't...
370
00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:48,336
I only want your company.
371
00:17:48,356 --> 00:17:50,779
Well, ok. Obviously I want more than that,
372
00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:52,815
but I'd be happy just to be with you...
373
00:17:52,849 --> 00:17:55,102
For a couple of years. An hour.
374
00:17:55,122 --> 00:17:57,348
Would you like to take a walk in the park?
375
00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,359
(Davina sighs.)
376
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,188
- I have a lot of work to do.
- Oh.
377
00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:05,427
I get up in the morning and
stumble down to the ocean
378
00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:08,664
with my coffee. I look at the sea.
379
00:18:08,898 --> 00:18:11,700
In the evening the whole place
is flooded with red light
380
00:18:11,735 --> 00:18:13,969
- from the setting sun.
- Oh it sounds insanely
381
00:18:14,004 --> 00:18:16,629
- wonderful, but...
- Hey, wait. I want you
382
00:18:16,649 --> 00:18:19,756
to try something for me.
Just as an experiment.
383
00:18:19,776 --> 00:18:22,833
Here, here. Sit down. Sit.
384
00:18:23,342 --> 00:18:25,647
Close your eyes.
385
00:18:25,714 --> 00:18:28,783
Now visualize, imagine you're there,
386
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,586
a white weatherboard beach-house.
387
00:18:31,606 --> 00:18:33,444
A white weatherboard beach-house.
388
00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:36,264
Right. And where are you?
389
00:18:36,284 --> 00:18:38,373
I'm...
390
00:18:38,393 --> 00:18:41,600
Walking down the beach in the morning.
391
00:18:41,664 --> 00:18:45,285
- Alone?
- N... no. There's...
392
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,470
- A dog.
- Oh.
393
00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:51,439
Some sort of spaniel-y dog and it's uh,
394
00:18:51,474 --> 00:18:53,440
splashing through the surf.
395
00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,776
- Any humans?
- Well, there's someone
396
00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:58,779
- walking with me.
- It better be me.
397
00:18:59,329 --> 00:19:01,415
It's you.
398
00:19:01,613 --> 00:19:05,733
And I have my arm looped through yours
399
00:19:06,018 --> 00:19:08,822
and you stop and give
me a sip of your coffee
400
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:11,124
and then you say something...
401
00:19:11,158 --> 00:19:12,983
perfect.
402
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:16,110
Calm and...
403
00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:19,733
wonderful and witty and...
404
00:19:20,066 --> 00:19:21,927
perfect.
405
00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:25,105
Well I'm telling you right now,
406
00:19:25,139 --> 00:19:29,887
I can't say anything witty
until after my morning coffee.
407
00:19:31,401 --> 00:19:33,713
Oh shit.
408
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,365
Well, hello!
409
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:39,519
- Hi.
- H... hi.
410
00:19:39,942 --> 00:19:41,828
You two out for a little swing?
411
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,425
- Well, it's a nice day.
- Yes, it is.
412
00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:48,534
This is another client of mine,
Deborah Kingman.
413
00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,730
She was just nominated
for the giller prize.
414
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,989
We thought we'd celebrate with a little...
415
00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:55,835
ride on the teeter-totter.
416
00:19:55,869 --> 00:19:58,337
- I'm late, I have to go.
- Don't want to hold you up.
417
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:01,172
Say hi to Al for me.
418
00:20:13,871 --> 00:20:15,687
It's like you're writing an essay
419
00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:18,022
aren't you just supposed
to discuss the books?
420
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:20,024
Yes, but people will be prepared.
421
00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:22,026
These are literary big wigs. Judges.
422
00:20:22,094 --> 00:20:23,862
There may even be a gavel involved.
423
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:25,864
Oh, you're coming to that
cocktail thing after, right?
424
00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:28,215
- Of course, of course.
- I'll need your support.
425
00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:32,337
Agh, this is ridiculous. I'm a humourist.
426
00:20:32,404 --> 00:20:34,305
- Not a columnist.
- You're a humourist columnist,
427
00:20:34,373 --> 00:20:36,407
- what's the difference?
- Well, there is a difference.
428
00:20:36,475 --> 00:20:38,776
A humourist is basically a clown.
429
00:20:38,844 --> 00:20:41,446
You're not a clown.
430
00:20:41,513 --> 00:20:43,781
You, you lack vision.
431
00:20:43,849 --> 00:20:46,717
You've got a perfectly good brain,
but it's blind.
432
00:20:46,751 --> 00:20:51,088
It's full of nerves and doubts and fear.
433
00:20:51,155 --> 00:20:54,592
You have a blind,
cowardly brain, basically.
434
00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:57,574
Is this encouragement? I can't tell.
435
00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:03,834
Just be the Al you wanna be.
436
00:21:04,461 --> 00:21:06,069
And you'll be him.
437
00:21:07,352 --> 00:21:09,318
I'd like to be...
438
00:21:09,338 --> 00:21:11,448
the tall Al.
439
00:21:11,894 --> 00:21:14,144
(Whispers): The tall Al.
440
00:21:15,095 --> 00:21:16,846
Well, we have a lot to cover
441
00:21:16,914 --> 00:21:19,282
so let's get started.
442
00:21:21,349 --> 00:21:23,716
Our first title is
443
00:21:23,736 --> 00:21:28,320
I am this by Gavin Fines.
444
00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:30,690
Mr. Jackson,
how'd you like to start us off?
445
00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:33,474
Me? Uh.
446
00:21:33,494 --> 00:21:36,738
Sure. So...
447
00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:40,136
'Course. Just a second here.
448
00:21:42,484 --> 00:21:45,707
Ah. So, yes.
449
00:21:45,742 --> 00:21:48,744
I am this.
450
00:21:48,778 --> 00:21:51,514
In this book, we find a protagonist
451
00:21:51,548 --> 00:21:54,517
whose environmental dislocation
propels him on a journey,
452
00:21:54,551 --> 00:21:57,184
of physical and spiritual rediscovery...
453
00:21:57,204 --> 00:21:59,653
... I found the writer handled
the metaphysical passages
454
00:21:59,673 --> 00:22:03,630
with unnerving confidence,
but his overuse of parenthesis
455
00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:05,694
and sub-clauses led to...
... spectre of David Foster
456
00:22:05,714 --> 00:22:09,569
... it was a pleasant balance
between the urban and pastoral
457
00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:12,660
but the seasonal transitions
are far less successful
458
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,241
and methinks a touch derivative of woolf...
the interminable
459
00:22:15,261 --> 00:22:17,539
plotting prologue to chapter five...
this book is something
460
00:22:17,573 --> 00:22:20,241
of a heroic tilt at the
windmill of odyssean myth,
461
00:22:20,276 --> 00:22:23,534
but,
in the opinion of this humble reviewer,
462
00:22:23,554 --> 00:22:25,830
the horse beneath the writer
463
00:22:25,850 --> 00:22:29,249
doesn't quite have the
legs for the journey.
464
00:22:30,496 --> 00:22:33,590
Thank you, Mr. Jackson. Mr. Berry?
465
00:22:33,610 --> 00:22:36,290
- It was garbage.
- Mrs. Davidson?
466
00:22:36,324 --> 00:22:39,226
- Terrible.
- Mr. Shepherd?
467
00:22:39,246 --> 00:22:41,596
- Hated it.
- Ms. Gaudi?
468
00:22:41,630 --> 00:22:44,631
- Shit.
- Mr. Ringwald?
469
00:22:46,258 --> 00:22:47,334
What did you say?
470
00:22:47,354 --> 00:22:50,036
- Shit.
- Right. Shit.
471
00:22:50,071 --> 00:22:53,721
Thank you. Next, a Mother's love.
472
00:22:53,741 --> 00:22:56,143
By Steven Greer.
All agree that we won't dignify
473
00:22:56,177 --> 00:22:58,460
this one with a vote?
474
00:22:58,658 --> 00:23:01,939
I spent a week and a half
being read to by a drug dealer
475
00:23:01,959 --> 00:23:04,550
in preparation for this farcical exercise.
476
00:23:04,619 --> 00:23:06,920
Why am I afraid all the time?
Can you tell me that?
477
00:23:06,954 --> 00:23:08,955
You know? I'm afraid of being judged,
478
00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:11,190
I'm of getting eye cancer.
I'm afraid of coming
479
00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:13,760
to these parties because I'm
afraid of talking to people.
480
00:23:13,794 --> 00:23:15,929
I have to pee.
481
00:23:15,997 --> 00:23:18,549
I wish I was more like the
Bob ringwalds of this world.
482
00:23:18,569 --> 00:23:20,361
I wish I didn't give a shit.
483
00:23:20,381 --> 00:23:22,850
That's better than being a coward isn't it?
484
00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:29,173
Ok. We have got to talk about this thing.
485
00:23:29,644 --> 00:23:32,845
I'm good at visualizing things, but I...
I don't know
486
00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,547
if I have the strength to
make things actually happen.
487
00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:39,587
And I'm,
I'm sick of being afraid all the time
488
00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:44,690
and you have a confidence that,
I admit, is very...
489
00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:49,076
What's wrong?
490
00:23:52,141 --> 00:23:56,301
- I have a brain tumour.
- Oh God!
491
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,404
- How long have you had it?
- I don't know,
492
00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:01,500
I went to the doctor a couple of days ago
493
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,845
to refill my migraine medication
494
00:24:03,865 --> 00:24:06,278
and on the way out he said
he saw something wrong
495
00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:08,746
with my eyes,
he said he wanted to run some tests.
496
00:24:08,814 --> 00:24:11,149
- Oh God, what doctor?
- Dr. Cass, the one
497
00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:13,151
- your husband recommended.
- Jesus Christ.
498
00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,720
Anyway he called me last
night and he said the tests
499
00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,922
were inconclusive and that
he wanted to run some more.
500
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:20,624
H... he said I blink asymmetrically.
501
00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:23,194
Watch. Ok, there.
502
00:24:23,228 --> 00:24:25,645
That's because there's
a growth behind my eye.
503
00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:27,764
That's why it's doing that.
504
00:24:27,832 --> 00:24:30,901
That doctor is a quack.
505
00:24:30,935 --> 00:24:33,103
I don't know, I guess it was an education.
506
00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:35,046
Why so hard on yourself?
Everybody looks like
507
00:24:35,066 --> 00:24:37,379
an idiot their first time.
Speaking of which,
508
00:24:37,399 --> 00:24:39,810
I'm glad you're getting
a foothold in this world.
509
00:24:39,877 --> 00:24:43,295
You know, the literary elite.
Perception is everything.
510
00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:46,186
But, if I were you, I would draw the line
511
00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:48,318
at letting Ringwald take
your wife to the playground
512
00:24:48,352 --> 00:24:50,453
because perception is everything.
513
00:24:50,487 --> 00:24:53,757
- What?
- I want to go home.
514
00:25:08,431 --> 00:25:10,456
Come to bed.
515
00:25:12,193 --> 00:25:13,993
Do you love me?
516
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:16,812
Of course.
517
00:25:16,847 --> 00:25:19,749
Yeah, I was just thinking about that...
518
00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:22,450
You know that article I'm writing
519
00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:26,281
about what makes a classic?
Think I finally figured it out.
520
00:25:27,423 --> 00:25:30,389
It's when you know something's true.
521
00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,329
You go on without me.
522
00:25:38,421 --> 00:25:41,425
Just, come to bed.
523
00:25:42,455 --> 00:25:45,409
No. Not for a while.
524
00:26:02,348 --> 00:26:06,125
Hi. Al Jackson for Dr. Cass.
525
00:26:06,145 --> 00:26:08,156
He's just in with another patient.
He won't be long.
526
00:26:08,176 --> 00:26:10,720
- Ok.
- Ok, thanks.
527
00:26:10,965 --> 00:26:12,966
(Behind door)
(Dr. Cass): Ok, the test
528
00:26:13,001 --> 00:26:15,522
results are in it's definitive this time...
529
00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:18,372
- You sure you're ready?
- (Bob): Yes, I'm sure.
530
00:26:18,407 --> 00:26:21,141
- Negative! Ta da!
- Oh my God. Oh, thank God.
531
00:26:21,209 --> 00:26:23,777
Well, you know,
it was highly unlikely but it's best
532
00:26:23,812 --> 00:26:26,546
- to be sure of these things.
- Absolutely. Thank you so much.
533
00:26:26,614 --> 00:26:30,449
Thank you. Thank you so much.
534
00:26:30,784 --> 00:26:32,986
I... I don't have a brain tumour.
535
00:26:33,054 --> 00:26:35,388
Ha! Ha! Ha!
536
00:26:35,456 --> 00:26:37,824
- Hi. Uh...
- Al.
537
00:26:37,891 --> 00:26:40,226
Al. Hi. How are you?
538
00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:43,229
Thank you so much for
hooking me up with this guy.
539
00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:45,985
I... I feel reborn. Ha! Ha! Ha!
540
00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:49,385
Fourth proximal phalange,
hairline fracture.
541
00:26:49,405 --> 00:26:51,070
Ow! Ow.
542
00:26:51,104 --> 00:26:54,273
First time you've ever seen that quack
543
00:26:54,308 --> 00:26:56,709
and actually came home
with something wrong.
544
00:26:56,743 --> 00:26:58,845
There you go. You see?
All those countless thousands
545
00:26:58,912 --> 00:27:01,580
- of dollars finally paid off.
- And no eye cancer.
546
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,150
No, it turns out the odd asymmetrical blink
547
00:27:04,170 --> 00:27:06,719
is perfectly acceptable,
statistically speaking.
548
00:27:06,786 --> 00:27:08,654
Mm-hmm. I could've told you that.
549
00:27:08,722 --> 00:27:11,122
So, why the big secret?
550
00:27:11,910 --> 00:27:15,410
How did you break your...
Whatever you said?
551
00:27:15,430 --> 00:27:18,964
... about bringing out the
best in every individual.
552
00:27:19,031 --> 00:27:22,490
And now, it is with great pride
553
00:27:22,510 --> 00:27:24,770
that I announce the winner of this year's
554
00:27:24,804 --> 00:27:27,805
Jonah book prize for fiction and it is...
555
00:27:27,874 --> 00:27:31,439
Randy Vemnies for The Devil's Chapter.
556
00:27:32,655 --> 00:27:35,745
sync and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
557
00:27:35,795 --> 00:27:40,345
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