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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,312 --> 00:00:05,345 Davina? Davina Davis? 2 00:00:05,365 --> 00:00:09,551 Oh, I can't believe you're here. I thought you'd be in Hollywood 3 00:00:09,586 --> 00:00:11,689 - or something. - I'm just saying it's natural. 4 00:00:11,709 --> 00:00:14,047 We start dying as soon as we're born. If you think about it, 5 00:00:14,067 --> 00:00:16,049 it's amazing our hearts beat as long as they do. 6 00:00:16,069 --> 00:00:19,772 If happy enough is good enough for you, then relax, 7 00:00:19,792 --> 00:00:23,792 but I suggest you find out what you want 8 00:00:23,812 --> 00:00:25,616 and get it 9 00:00:25,635 --> 00:00:28,604 as quickly as possible. 10 00:00:30,882 --> 00:00:34,275 Ok. The test results are in. 11 00:00:35,213 --> 00:00:36,855 Are you ready for this? 12 00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,379 Yes. 13 00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,849 - You're sure? - Yes. 14 00:00:40,883 --> 00:00:42,884 This particular test 15 00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:45,320 is extremely accurate. 16 00:00:45,354 --> 00:00:48,456 We've run it twice. Do you understand? 17 00:00:49,151 --> 00:00:50,091 Yes. 18 00:00:50,655 --> 00:00:53,828 Your test was... 19 00:00:54,415 --> 00:00:57,865 - negative. Tada! - Oh, God! Ha! Ha! Ha! 20 00:00:57,899 --> 00:00:59,867 Ok. Why do you always do this? 21 00:00:59,901 --> 00:01:02,408 - I live for the drama of the moment. - Jesus! 22 00:01:02,428 --> 00:01:05,423 Well, cheer up, you don't have throat cancer. 23 00:01:05,443 --> 00:01:08,662 You got a sore throat, probably the smog. 24 00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:09,910 Mine's sore too actually. 25 00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,779 But you told me I should do the test, so... 26 00:01:11,813 --> 00:01:15,549 Now, you know definitively and you won't worry, which is something you do. 27 00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:17,784 I do. I worry. It's true. 28 00:01:17,818 --> 00:01:20,754 And can you tell me again why this test wasn't covered? 29 00:01:20,821 --> 00:01:23,273 They feel that it's not necessary, because 30 00:01:23,293 --> 00:01:26,893 of the astronomical odds against you actually having it. 31 00:01:26,927 --> 00:01:28,572 But you know something? 32 00:01:28,592 --> 00:01:31,798 People get struck by lightning every day. 33 00:01:31,832 --> 00:01:33,833 Which is why I'm a hypochondriac. 34 00:01:33,853 --> 00:01:35,885 Because statistics have no meaning, right? 35 00:01:35,905 --> 00:01:39,005 And if I can alleviate needless worry, 36 00:01:39,073 --> 00:01:41,207 - then I've done my job. - Thank you. 37 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:44,343 - Thank you very much. - Do you always do that? 38 00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,312 What? Do? 39 00:01:46,346 --> 00:01:48,748 Blink asymmetrically. 40 00:01:48,816 --> 00:01:50,650 Hmm... uh... 41 00:01:50,717 --> 00:01:53,752 I'm sure it's nothing, but, you know what, 42 00:01:53,820 --> 00:01:55,888 let's have a quick look at that eye, 43 00:01:55,922 --> 00:01:59,158 make sure it's tumor-free. 44 00:01:59,391 --> 00:02:02,158 S01E03 The Three Sisters 45 00:02:02,469 --> 00:02:05,149 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 46 00:02:31,153 --> 00:02:34,094 - (Davina): Al? - Coming. 47 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,794 The tumor grows behind the eyes, 48 00:02:36,814 --> 00:02:38,427 swells, the eye deforms, 49 00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:40,276 and that can cause asymmetrical blinking. 50 00:02:40,296 --> 00:02:42,734 - He's such a crock of shit. - Or it isn't 51 00:02:42,754 --> 00:02:44,736 and it's eye cancer. 52 00:02:44,803 --> 00:02:47,404 Dr. Cass says I should go easy on it for a while. 53 00:02:47,472 --> 00:02:49,373 - Go easy on what? - The eye 54 00:02:49,441 --> 00:02:52,043 - until after the MRI. - Oh, God! 55 00:02:52,077 --> 00:02:54,045 When they do the MRI, have them check for a brain as well. 56 00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:56,046 Oh, that's great. That's really sensitive. 57 00:02:56,114 --> 00:02:58,882 You've been seeing this guy for 13 years, 58 00:02:58,916 --> 00:03:00,951 you've had a million tests. its cost us a fortune 59 00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,953 and he's never found a thing. 60 00:03:02,987 --> 00:03:04,955 Oh, and so that makes him a bad doctor? 61 00:03:04,989 --> 00:03:08,592 - Yes, that makes him a terrible doctor. - Ho ho! 62 00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:10,894 (Soft jazz music playing) (People talking) 63 00:03:16,234 --> 00:03:18,201 (Davina): I don't know we come to these things. 64 00:03:18,236 --> 00:03:20,904 (Al): Networking. I have to network if I want to work, work. 65 00:03:20,938 --> 00:03:22,906 (Davina): You never talk to anyone but me. 66 00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,761 You're the only one I want to talk to. That's the problem. 67 00:03:24,781 --> 00:03:26,561 You can talk to me anytime you want. 68 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,526 I know but if I dragged you to one of these work cocktail thingies, 69 00:03:29,546 --> 00:03:31,514 I get to see you wearing my favorite dress. 70 00:03:31,548 --> 00:03:34,517 - What? This old thing? - Yep. I remember when we got that. 71 00:03:34,551 --> 00:03:36,352 - Yes, I do. - When? 72 00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:39,123 It was for Orlando's graduation, right? 73 00:03:39,143 --> 00:03:40,356 Ah, it was 6 years ago. 74 00:03:40,391 --> 00:03:42,725 Oh, come on, you really haven't changed a bit. 75 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,489 - You look fan... - Hey! Hey! 76 00:03:45,668 --> 00:03:47,696 - He didn't even stop. Hey! - No, no, no. Don't. He's pinkerton. 77 00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:50,532 - If it wasn't for my eye... - Now, hold this. 78 00:03:50,566 --> 00:03:52,567 I'm going to go clean this up. And while I am gone, 79 00:03:52,602 --> 00:03:54,937 go talk to someone. Network... 80 00:03:54,971 --> 00:03:56,872 And if I do... 81 00:04:01,204 --> 00:04:02,766 Ok... 82 00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:05,079 Networking. 83 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:07,416 (Al sighs.) 84 00:04:36,211 --> 00:04:38,346 Oh! I'm sorry. 85 00:04:38,413 --> 00:04:40,348 No, no, it was my fault. 86 00:04:40,415 --> 00:04:42,683 I didn't lock the door, because I was only cleaning. 87 00:04:42,718 --> 00:04:45,653 - Well, you're the maid? - No. 88 00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:48,046 Cleaning my dress. 89 00:04:48,066 --> 00:04:49,890 Someone spilled wine on it. 90 00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:52,451 - Not red I hope. - White. Thank God. 91 00:04:52,471 --> 00:04:54,061 Thank God for small mercies. 92 00:04:54,095 --> 00:04:57,597 - Yes. - Yes. Bob. 93 00:04:58,061 --> 00:04:59,836 What? 94 00:04:59,856 --> 00:05:03,203 My name, it's Bob. 95 00:05:03,608 --> 00:05:05,839 Oh! Davina. 96 00:05:05,874 --> 00:05:09,141 - Davina. - A feminine form of David 97 00:05:09,161 --> 00:05:11,378 from the Hebrew "dah-veed" meaning beloved. 98 00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,279 Ah, a writer. 99 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,214 - Ha! Ha! Ha! - Or rabbi. 100 00:05:15,282 --> 00:05:17,316 No, a writer. Please. 101 00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:20,152 And what about you? - I am not. 102 00:05:20,172 --> 00:05:22,889 Oh... and what are you then? 103 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:25,950 I work in an art gallery. 104 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:29,795 Hmm, when I was younger, I was a model, 105 00:05:29,974 --> 00:05:31,798 and an actress. 106 00:05:31,818 --> 00:05:35,167 Although I did more modeling. Print work mostly. 107 00:05:35,322 --> 00:05:37,536 I never really liked performing. 108 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:40,572 Maybe... Maybe it wasn't any good. 109 00:05:40,702 --> 00:05:44,576 No. No, no, no. I was good, but, well... 110 00:05:44,723 --> 00:05:48,346 Takes more than talent to make it as an actress and... 111 00:05:48,607 --> 00:05:50,682 Anyway, you know, things come up 112 00:05:50,702 --> 00:05:53,366 and you make choices and... 113 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,487 life leads you somewhere you didn't expect 114 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,056 or even want at the time. 115 00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:01,126 But I think ultimately, that's a good thing 116 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,128 to let life happen to you, 117 00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:06,431 because I've... I've never been a 5-year-plan 118 00:06:06,498 --> 00:06:08,633 kind of person. That's... that's limiting, 119 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,635 and I'm realistic, 120 00:06:10,669 --> 00:06:13,571 and ultimately, inevitably disappointing. 121 00:06:16,538 --> 00:06:18,275 Um... 122 00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:20,277 What was the question? 123 00:06:20,845 --> 00:06:22,246 What do you do? 124 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:24,949 - (He laughs.) - I, uh... 125 00:06:24,983 --> 00:06:28,118 I work in an art gallery. Part-time. 126 00:06:30,388 --> 00:06:32,489 Yes. Well, um... 127 00:06:32,688 --> 00:06:35,088 We've had quite a long conversation 128 00:06:35,108 --> 00:06:36,593 considering we're in a bathroom. 129 00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:40,364 Can you imagine all the dramas that take place inside bathrooms? 130 00:06:40,642 --> 00:06:43,400 All the whispered fights, all the tears, 131 00:06:43,798 --> 00:06:45,436 the mad sex, 132 00:06:45,470 --> 00:06:47,403 you know, people born in bathrooms. 133 00:06:47,438 --> 00:06:49,873 And there's a high probability that we'll die in one. 134 00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:53,643 - Well, not tonight, I hope. - Is that it? 135 00:06:54,161 --> 00:06:55,724 What? 136 00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,747 The wine stain. 137 00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,718 Oh! Yes, it's... 138 00:07:03,653 --> 00:07:06,022 It's not too bad, is it? - No. 139 00:07:06,606 --> 00:07:08,905 It's a very lucky stain. 140 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,908 Ha! Ha! Ha! Well... 141 00:07:12,376 --> 00:07:15,925 It's all yours. The bathroom, I mean... 142 00:07:16,818 --> 00:07:19,077 Bob. (Bog laughs.) 143 00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:22,337 I'm sorry that I went on and on 144 00:07:22,372 --> 00:07:25,574 about not knowing who I am. I-I... 145 00:07:25,851 --> 00:07:28,606 I don't know why I did that. 146 00:07:29,623 --> 00:07:31,780 You won't listen to me, but you'll listen to Davina? 147 00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:34,683 Well, the implication was that I would be rewarded 148 00:07:34,718 --> 00:07:36,684 with sex if I did some successful network. 149 00:07:36,752 --> 00:07:39,587 I can't help you there. An agent has to draw 150 00:07:39,655 --> 00:07:41,756 - the line somewhere. - Thank God! So upon whom 151 00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:44,692 - should I pounce? - Well, Robert Ringwald is here. 152 00:07:44,727 --> 00:07:46,794 Really? He's great. He's a genius. 153 00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:49,296 - This doesn't count. - Yes, it's networking... no? 154 00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:50,268 - No. - You'll never guess 155 00:07:50,288 --> 00:07:52,134 who's here. Robert Ringwald. 156 00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:54,903 Who's Robert Ringworm? - Robert "Ringworm" 157 00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:58,239 is a very successful, fabulously talented columnist. 158 00:07:58,273 --> 00:08:00,241 He's the man I aspire to be one day. 159 00:08:00,275 --> 00:08:02,744 But you can't actually be someone else. 160 00:08:02,811 --> 00:08:05,046 Oh yes, you can if you murder them and you wear their skin, 161 00:08:05,113 --> 00:08:07,148 - you can. - Speak of the devil. 162 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:09,616 Bob, uh... this is a client of mine. 163 00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,618 Al Jackson. Al. 164 00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:14,755 Wow! I... Mr. Ringworm... 165 00:08:14,789 --> 00:08:17,458 Wald. I read your piece 166 00:08:17,492 --> 00:08:19,660 about Syria in the vanity fair, 167 00:08:19,727 --> 00:08:21,695 and, uh, it was great. 168 00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:25,332 - It was really great. - Thank you. And you are...? 169 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,568 Oh, this is my wife, Davina. Sorry. 170 00:08:27,635 --> 00:08:30,403 How do you do, Davina? Sorry, my hand's a little damp. 171 00:08:30,471 --> 00:08:32,908 - I was just in the washroom. - Al's a columnist, too. 172 00:08:32,928 --> 00:08:34,608 - Are you? - Yeah, well, I mean 173 00:08:34,642 --> 00:08:36,777 I'm a columnist in the sense that I have a column, 174 00:08:36,844 --> 00:08:39,046 but I'm not a... You know, you're a columnist; 175 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,448 - I write a column. - Oh, what are you working on? 176 00:08:41,468 --> 00:08:43,783 He wrote a hilarious piece 177 00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,219 on Christmas lighting displays. When was that? 178 00:08:46,253 --> 00:08:48,254 - Last Christmas. - Yes, but I'm working 179 00:08:48,322 --> 00:08:50,690 on something a little longer right now, 180 00:08:50,757 --> 00:08:54,227 a more serious thing. It's about what makes a classic, 181 00:08:54,295 --> 00:08:57,063 - and how we can identify it. - A classic... 182 00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,298 A perfect example 183 00:08:59,365 --> 00:09:01,067 of something. You know it as soon as you see it. 184 00:09:01,134 --> 00:09:03,903 But true, true, the criteria are very hard to define. 185 00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:06,584 - Yes. - Grace, 186 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:10,456 timelessness, beauty obviously. 187 00:09:11,076 --> 00:09:12,144 You know what? 188 00:09:12,212 --> 00:09:14,146 I need some judges for this book prize 189 00:09:14,214 --> 00:09:16,148 that I'm working on. A little bit of light reading. 190 00:09:16,182 --> 00:09:18,016 - What do you say? - Me? 191 00:09:18,084 --> 00:09:19,650 - Yes. - He'd be thrilled. 192 00:09:19,670 --> 00:09:21,219 Yes, of course! 193 00:09:21,239 --> 00:09:23,589 Well, terrific. You'd be doing me a great favour. 194 00:09:23,623 --> 00:09:26,225 And what do you do? 195 00:09:26,475 --> 00:09:29,161 I work in an art gallery... 196 00:09:29,195 --> 00:09:31,319 Part-time. 197 00:09:36,593 --> 00:09:38,348 About your eye 198 00:09:38,368 --> 00:09:41,072 and the possible cancer therein, 199 00:09:41,107 --> 00:09:43,274 your tests were... are you ready? 200 00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:47,145 - Please, just tell me. Please. - Inconclusive. 201 00:09:47,179 --> 00:09:49,113 (Stuttering): They're what? 202 00:09:49,148 --> 00:09:51,449 I'm sure it's a lab error. You wouldn't believe 203 00:09:51,483 --> 00:09:54,952 how often that happens. All the tears shed for nothing. 204 00:09:54,986 --> 00:09:56,820 What does it... Does it say I have eye cancer? 205 00:09:56,855 --> 00:09:59,957 No, no, it just doesn't say you don't have eye cancer. 206 00:09:59,991 --> 00:10:02,193 I'm sending your test to another lab. 207 00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:04,395 In the meantime, try not 208 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,397 - to use your eyes. - Well, they're not used. 209 00:10:07,431 --> 00:10:09,633 You know, I mean, give them a rest. 210 00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:12,169 Right. Well, I have a huge pile of books to read. 211 00:10:12,203 --> 00:10:14,471 Well, they're your eyes. Oh, I want 212 00:10:14,505 --> 00:10:16,506 to thank you for referring the patient to me. 213 00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:19,009 - Oh, Bob Ringwald. - Yes, migraines. 214 00:10:19,044 --> 00:10:21,244 At least, we hope they're migraines. Here. 215 00:10:21,279 --> 00:10:22,760 - What's this? - A fridge magnet. 216 00:10:22,761 --> 00:10:24,772 A little thank you for the referral. 217 00:10:24,773 --> 00:10:27,817 Now remember, don't use your eyes unless you have to. 218 00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:30,820 Right. I'll remember that when I get your bill. 219 00:10:32,888 --> 00:10:34,935 Thank you, I guess. 220 00:10:34,955 --> 00:10:36,194 (Bell tinkling) 221 00:10:36,214 --> 00:10:37,260 Sorry. 222 00:10:37,328 --> 00:10:40,329 - No street car. - Someone's waiting for you. 223 00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,899 - Who? - That's the intriguing part. 224 00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:45,706 He wouldn't say his name. (She sighs.) 225 00:10:45,726 --> 00:10:48,104 Don't fuck up your life. 226 00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:50,339 Shut up. (Soft classical music playing) 227 00:10:51,842 --> 00:10:54,476 - Oh! - Oh, hi. 228 00:10:54,544 --> 00:10:57,346 - Hi. - Uh... 229 00:10:57,531 --> 00:10:59,381 Bob Ringwald. We met in a bathroom. 230 00:10:59,449 --> 00:11:01,450 I remember you. 231 00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,485 Well, that's a start. 232 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,221 Can, uh, 233 00:11:05,255 --> 00:11:08,424 - I help you find something? - I hope so. 234 00:11:08,458 --> 00:11:10,967 Something original? Wh-what are you looking for? 235 00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:12,728 Well, arguably, I have everything. 236 00:11:12,795 --> 00:11:14,004 (Davina chuckles.) 237 00:11:14,024 --> 00:11:15,803 It's true. 238 00:11:15,952 --> 00:11:19,134 I've done everything, seen everything. 239 00:11:19,502 --> 00:11:21,803 I was in Tiananmen Square in 1989. 240 00:11:21,838 --> 00:11:23,805 I met with 3 popes. 241 00:11:23,873 --> 00:11:26,596 I saw an eclipse in the south pole. 242 00:11:26,616 --> 00:11:28,142 Actually, that was a little disappointing, 243 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:31,779 because it was only a partial eclipse, and it was really cold. 244 00:11:31,847 --> 00:11:34,882 - I bet. - My point is that I have lived 245 00:11:34,950 --> 00:11:37,946 a fabulous, rewarding, and enviable life, 246 00:11:37,966 --> 00:11:39,989 but I've lived it alone. 247 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:45,150 I've reported on it to strangers, but I've never shared it. 248 00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:47,527 I've never been able to-to... 249 00:11:47,562 --> 00:11:50,865 connect with anyone 250 00:11:50,932 --> 00:11:52,867 in any kind of real way. 251 00:11:52,901 --> 00:11:54,201 Oh, my. 252 00:11:54,269 --> 00:11:57,404 And then, I bump into you 253 00:11:57,472 --> 00:12:00,574 in a bathroom at a very boring party. 254 00:12:00,608 --> 00:12:05,028 - It was... a boring party. - But there it was. 255 00:12:06,845 --> 00:12:08,707 A connection. 256 00:12:11,573 --> 00:12:14,407 It was unprecedented for... 257 00:12:14,427 --> 00:12:16,590 So you ask what I'm looking for. 258 00:12:18,675 --> 00:12:20,626 Well, I think I found it. 259 00:12:23,986 --> 00:12:26,599 I am... 260 00:12:26,932 --> 00:12:28,868 - I'm not for sale. - I'm not 261 00:12:28,903 --> 00:12:31,119 trying to buy you; 262 00:12:31,139 --> 00:12:32,906 I just want to share my life with you. 263 00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:35,374 Ho! Ho! Ho! God! 264 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:37,610 - That's... - Will you have a drink 265 00:12:37,644 --> 00:12:40,145 - with me tonight? - No. Um... 266 00:12:40,180 --> 00:12:43,252 I'm going to a show tonight with my husband... 267 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,815 Al. 268 00:12:46,838 --> 00:12:48,621 Ok. 269 00:12:50,489 --> 00:12:53,258 - Have fun. - I plan to. 270 00:12:53,693 --> 00:12:56,051 It's Chekhov. (Bob laughs a little.) 271 00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:08,973 "Margaret sat at the table 272 00:13:09,007 --> 00:13:11,609 and squeezed the torn hem in her fist. 273 00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:14,579 I don't have the strength to mend this,' she said. 274 00:13:14,613 --> 00:13:17,315 as her daughter's green eyes welled with tears." 275 00:13:17,350 --> 00:13:20,013 I don't understand why she's so upset about the dress, man. 276 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,420 Well, it's what the dress represents. 277 00:13:22,455 --> 00:13:24,788 I know, but still, just fix the fucking dress, Margaret. 278 00:13:24,823 --> 00:13:26,900 - What the hell! - Hey. 279 00:13:27,185 --> 00:13:30,228 - Theodore's reading to me. - Doctor said he can't use his eyes. 280 00:13:30,295 --> 00:13:32,763 Oh, seriously, does that make any sense to you? 281 00:13:32,797 --> 00:13:35,933 Have you ever heard any doctor anywhere ever say anything like that before? 282 00:13:35,968 --> 00:13:40,270 - The tests were inconclusive. - Reading does not cause cancer! 283 00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:42,439 You haven't read these books. What was that first one? 284 00:13:42,474 --> 00:13:44,842 Uh, Suspended Betwixt. 285 00:13:44,876 --> 00:13:46,844 I had to do a line just to get through this shit. 286 00:13:46,878 --> 00:13:48,846 Get ready, the play starts in an hour. 287 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,114 Oh, honey, I can't. I've got a mountain of words 288 00:13:51,182 --> 00:13:53,265 to get through, and it's slower this way. 289 00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:55,452 Not because you're a slow reader, it's just harder 290 00:13:55,487 --> 00:13:56,951 not have a discourse about the material. 291 00:13:56,971 --> 00:13:59,655 It's true. The discourse does tend to slow us down. 292 00:13:59,817 --> 00:14:01,424 Jesus! 293 00:14:04,362 --> 00:14:07,364 My heart filled with joy and I longed passionately 294 00:14:07,384 --> 00:14:09,766 to go home. (Whistling and piano music) 295 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:13,102 Don't whistle, Marsha. How can you? 296 00:14:13,169 --> 00:14:15,070 I keep getting headaches from all the things 297 00:14:15,138 --> 00:14:17,106 running through my mind. 298 00:14:17,140 --> 00:14:19,675 It makes me feel like an old woman already. 299 00:14:19,743 --> 00:14:22,678 These past few years, I felt my youth and energy 300 00:14:22,746 --> 00:14:26,048 drain away drop by drop each day. 301 00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:29,385 Only one thing grows stronger and stronger... 302 00:14:29,419 --> 00:14:32,908 - A certain longing... - to get away. 303 00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:34,589 Yes. 304 00:14:34,657 --> 00:14:36,658 - To escape. - Yes. 305 00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,693 - But where? - To Moscow. 306 00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:42,642 - I don't want to go to Moscow. - There is only Moscow. 307 00:14:42,662 --> 00:14:43,999 Moscow, 308 00:14:44,019 --> 00:14:46,267 Moscow, Moscow. 309 00:14:46,335 --> 00:14:48,613 - There are other places. - Like where? 310 00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:49,752 There's nowhere else. 311 00:14:49,772 --> 00:14:53,542 - Only Moscow. - Moscow, Moscow, Moscow. 312 00:14:53,609 --> 00:14:56,244 Still, I have heard of a seaside town 313 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,246 on the black sea that's very pretty. 314 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,214 It's got no sand, 315 00:15:00,282 --> 00:15:02,650 but the pebbles are smooth. 316 00:15:04,586 --> 00:15:08,122 - Sorry. - What about Santa Barbara? 317 00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:10,191 - Santa Barbara?! - Mm-hmm. 318 00:15:10,225 --> 00:15:12,193 You want to go to Santa Barbara? 319 00:15:12,227 --> 00:15:15,296 - Well, maybe. - Why? 320 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,433 - Well that's where he lives. - Who? 321 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,068 - Robert Ringwald. - Robert Ringwald, 322 00:15:21,102 --> 00:15:23,653 - the columnist? - Yes. 323 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,291 Oh no. He wrote an essay about us once. 324 00:15:26,311 --> 00:15:29,505 Something about Moscow and post-feminist yearning. 325 00:15:29,525 --> 00:15:32,124 Went on so long we could have walked there in less time. 326 00:15:32,144 --> 00:15:35,511 - So why him? - Because he's strong 327 00:15:35,747 --> 00:15:39,092 and he knows what he wants and how to get it. 328 00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:43,063 And he's, he's funny and smart 329 00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:46,159 and handsome and successful 330 00:15:46,194 --> 00:15:48,228 and... when he looks at you 331 00:15:48,262 --> 00:15:51,298 he makes you feel that you are the most beautiful woman 332 00:15:51,332 --> 00:15:55,702 in the world and everything is possible. 333 00:15:57,860 --> 00:16:00,072 - That would work. - Oh yeah. 334 00:16:00,107 --> 00:16:03,313 - Still. It'll all end in tears. - Yep. 335 00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:05,344 - I give it a week. - Let's just hope her husband 336 00:16:05,379 --> 00:16:07,079 - doesn't find out. - He's bound to. 337 00:16:07,114 --> 00:16:08,852 - And it will kill him. - Or he'll kill her. 338 00:16:08,872 --> 00:16:10,888 Or both of them. With a sabre. 339 00:16:10,908 --> 00:16:12,786 Why, why are you all being so negative? 340 00:16:12,806 --> 00:16:15,392 What do you expect? We're characters in a Chekhov play. 341 00:16:15,412 --> 00:16:18,724 We're bound to sound negative. - Unless we were in the seagull. 342 00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:21,042 - What? - Well that was a comedy. 343 00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:23,695 - Have you seen it? - No. 344 00:16:24,777 --> 00:16:29,735 - I have. - So what's the last line? 345 00:16:30,631 --> 00:16:31,737 I don't know. 346 00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:33,872 "Constantine has shot himself." 347 00:16:35,359 --> 00:16:36,408 Oh. 348 00:16:36,428 --> 00:16:38,577 Yeah. So trust me, sweetheart. 349 00:16:38,611 --> 00:16:40,879 It's all going to end in tears. 350 00:16:42,016 --> 00:16:44,749 I expect andrei will become professor, 351 00:16:44,783 --> 00:16:46,717 but he won't want to live here. 352 00:16:46,785 --> 00:16:49,466 I guess only Masha will have to go on living here. 353 00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:51,272 Masha can come and visit us every year, 354 00:16:51,292 --> 00:16:53,291 and for the whole summer. 355 00:17:09,575 --> 00:17:11,542 You busy? 356 00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:12,925 - Oh! - I'm sorry. 357 00:17:12,945 --> 00:17:15,493 No, no. I'm glad you came. 358 00:17:15,513 --> 00:17:17,948 I want to talk about this thing that's going on. 359 00:17:17,982 --> 00:17:20,650 - Well, it's not really a thing yet. - Well, let's talk about 360 00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:23,887 - why it can't be. - Ok. But before you say anything, I... 361 00:17:23,907 --> 00:17:27,224 I realize that I came on hard the other day. 362 00:17:27,244 --> 00:17:29,259 And if you add to that the fact that there was 363 00:17:29,294 --> 00:17:31,468 some light stalking involved, well, I realize that's not 364 00:17:31,488 --> 00:17:33,056 - the best impression... - Bob, this is impossible. 365 00:17:33,076 --> 00:17:34,980 I'm married. - I know. 366 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,804 And I'm keeping your husband busy with books. 367 00:17:36,824 --> 00:17:39,856 Long, terrible books. Ten of them. 368 00:17:39,876 --> 00:17:42,939 - Just so you could see me? - Yeah. Off-putting? 369 00:17:43,007 --> 00:17:44,874 This isn't... 370 00:17:45,507 --> 00:17:48,336 I only want your company. 371 00:17:48,356 --> 00:17:50,779 Well, ok. Obviously I want more than that, 372 00:17:50,847 --> 00:17:52,815 but I'd be happy just to be with you... 373 00:17:52,849 --> 00:17:55,102 For a couple of years. An hour. 374 00:17:55,122 --> 00:17:57,348 Would you like to take a walk in the park? 375 00:17:57,368 --> 00:17:59,359 (Davina sighs.) 376 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,188 - I have a lot of work to do. - Oh. 377 00:18:02,459 --> 00:18:05,427 I get up in the morning and stumble down to the ocean 378 00:18:05,461 --> 00:18:08,664 with my coffee. I look at the sea. 379 00:18:08,898 --> 00:18:11,700 In the evening the whole place is flooded with red light 380 00:18:11,735 --> 00:18:13,969 - from the setting sun. - Oh it sounds insanely 381 00:18:14,004 --> 00:18:16,629 - wonderful, but... - Hey, wait. I want you 382 00:18:16,649 --> 00:18:19,756 to try something for me. Just as an experiment. 383 00:18:19,776 --> 00:18:22,833 Here, here. Sit down. Sit. 384 00:18:23,342 --> 00:18:25,647 Close your eyes. 385 00:18:25,714 --> 00:18:28,783 Now visualize, imagine you're there, 386 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,586 a white weatherboard beach-house. 387 00:18:31,606 --> 00:18:33,444 A white weatherboard beach-house. 388 00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:36,264 Right. And where are you? 389 00:18:36,284 --> 00:18:38,373 I'm... 390 00:18:38,393 --> 00:18:41,600 Walking down the beach in the morning. 391 00:18:41,664 --> 00:18:45,285 - Alone? - N... no. There's... 392 00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,470 - A dog. - Oh. 393 00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:51,439 Some sort of spaniel-y dog and it's uh, 394 00:18:51,474 --> 00:18:53,440 splashing through the surf. 395 00:18:53,475 --> 00:18:55,776 - Any humans? - Well, there's someone 396 00:18:55,810 --> 00:18:58,779 - walking with me. - It better be me. 397 00:18:59,329 --> 00:19:01,415 It's you. 398 00:19:01,613 --> 00:19:05,733 And I have my arm looped through yours 399 00:19:06,018 --> 00:19:08,822 and you stop and give me a sip of your coffee 400 00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:11,124 and then you say something... 401 00:19:11,158 --> 00:19:12,983 perfect. 402 00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:16,110 Calm and... 403 00:19:16,130 --> 00:19:19,733 wonderful and witty and... 404 00:19:20,066 --> 00:19:21,927 perfect. 405 00:19:22,548 --> 00:19:25,105 Well I'm telling you right now, 406 00:19:25,139 --> 00:19:29,887 I can't say anything witty until after my morning coffee. 407 00:19:31,401 --> 00:19:33,713 Oh shit. 408 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:36,365 Well, hello! 409 00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:39,519 - Hi. - H... hi. 410 00:19:39,942 --> 00:19:41,828 You two out for a little swing? 411 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,425 - Well, it's a nice day. - Yes, it is. 412 00:19:45,811 --> 00:19:48,534 This is another client of mine, Deborah Kingman. 413 00:19:48,554 --> 00:19:50,730 She was just nominated for the giller prize. 414 00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,989 We thought we'd celebrate with a little... 415 00:19:53,009 --> 00:19:55,835 ride on the teeter-totter. 416 00:19:55,869 --> 00:19:58,337 - I'm late, I have to go. - Don't want to hold you up. 417 00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:01,172 Say hi to Al for me. 418 00:20:13,871 --> 00:20:15,687 It's like you're writing an essay 419 00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:18,022 aren't you just supposed to discuss the books? 420 00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:20,024 Yes, but people will be prepared. 421 00:20:20,092 --> 00:20:22,026 These are literary big wigs. Judges. 422 00:20:22,094 --> 00:20:23,862 There may even be a gavel involved. 423 00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:25,864 Oh, you're coming to that cocktail thing after, right? 424 00:20:25,932 --> 00:20:28,215 - Of course, of course. - I'll need your support. 425 00:20:29,481 --> 00:20:32,337 Agh, this is ridiculous. I'm a humourist. 426 00:20:32,404 --> 00:20:34,305 - Not a columnist. - You're a humourist columnist, 427 00:20:34,373 --> 00:20:36,407 - what's the difference? - Well, there is a difference. 428 00:20:36,475 --> 00:20:38,776 A humourist is basically a clown. 429 00:20:38,844 --> 00:20:41,446 You're not a clown. 430 00:20:41,513 --> 00:20:43,781 You, you lack vision. 431 00:20:43,849 --> 00:20:46,717 You've got a perfectly good brain, but it's blind. 432 00:20:46,751 --> 00:20:51,088 It's full of nerves and doubts and fear. 433 00:20:51,155 --> 00:20:54,592 You have a blind, cowardly brain, basically. 434 00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:57,574 Is this encouragement? I can't tell. 435 00:21:01,384 --> 00:21:03,834 Just be the Al you wanna be. 436 00:21:04,461 --> 00:21:06,069 And you'll be him. 437 00:21:07,352 --> 00:21:09,318 I'd like to be... 438 00:21:09,338 --> 00:21:11,448 the tall Al. 439 00:21:11,894 --> 00:21:14,144 (Whispers): The tall Al. 440 00:21:15,095 --> 00:21:16,846 Well, we have a lot to cover 441 00:21:16,914 --> 00:21:19,282 so let's get started. 442 00:21:21,349 --> 00:21:23,716 Our first title is 443 00:21:23,736 --> 00:21:28,320 I am this by Gavin Fines. 444 00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:30,690 Mr. Jackson, how'd you like to start us off? 445 00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:33,474 Me? Uh. 446 00:21:33,494 --> 00:21:36,738 Sure. So... 447 00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:40,136 'Course. Just a second here. 448 00:21:42,484 --> 00:21:45,707 Ah. So, yes. 449 00:21:45,742 --> 00:21:48,744 I am this. 450 00:21:48,778 --> 00:21:51,514 In this book, we find a protagonist 451 00:21:51,548 --> 00:21:54,517 whose environmental dislocation propels him on a journey, 452 00:21:54,551 --> 00:21:57,184 of physical and spiritual rediscovery... 453 00:21:57,204 --> 00:21:59,653 ... I found the writer handled the metaphysical passages 454 00:21:59,673 --> 00:22:03,630 with unnerving confidence, but his overuse of parenthesis 455 00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:05,694 and sub-clauses led to... ... spectre of David Foster 456 00:22:05,714 --> 00:22:09,569 ... it was a pleasant balance between the urban and pastoral 457 00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:12,660 but the seasonal transitions are far less successful 458 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,241 and methinks a touch derivative of woolf... the interminable 459 00:22:15,261 --> 00:22:17,539 plotting prologue to chapter five... this book is something 460 00:22:17,573 --> 00:22:20,241 of a heroic tilt at the windmill of odyssean myth, 461 00:22:20,276 --> 00:22:23,534 but, in the opinion of this humble reviewer, 462 00:22:23,554 --> 00:22:25,830 the horse beneath the writer 463 00:22:25,850 --> 00:22:29,249 doesn't quite have the legs for the journey. 464 00:22:30,496 --> 00:22:33,590 Thank you, Mr. Jackson. Mr. Berry? 465 00:22:33,610 --> 00:22:36,290 - It was garbage. - Mrs. Davidson? 466 00:22:36,324 --> 00:22:39,226 - Terrible. - Mr. Shepherd? 467 00:22:39,246 --> 00:22:41,596 - Hated it. - Ms. Gaudi? 468 00:22:41,630 --> 00:22:44,631 - Shit. - Mr. Ringwald? 469 00:22:46,258 --> 00:22:47,334 What did you say? 470 00:22:47,354 --> 00:22:50,036 - Shit. - Right. Shit. 471 00:22:50,071 --> 00:22:53,721 Thank you. Next, a Mother's love. 472 00:22:53,741 --> 00:22:56,143 By Steven Greer. All agree that we won't dignify 473 00:22:56,177 --> 00:22:58,460 this one with a vote? 474 00:22:58,658 --> 00:23:01,939 I spent a week and a half being read to by a drug dealer 475 00:23:01,959 --> 00:23:04,550 in preparation for this farcical exercise. 476 00:23:04,619 --> 00:23:06,920 Why am I afraid all the time? Can you tell me that? 477 00:23:06,954 --> 00:23:08,955 You know? I'm afraid of being judged, 478 00:23:08,990 --> 00:23:11,190 I'm of getting eye cancer. I'm afraid of coming 479 00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:13,760 to these parties because I'm afraid of talking to people. 480 00:23:13,794 --> 00:23:15,929 I have to pee. 481 00:23:15,997 --> 00:23:18,549 I wish I was more like the Bob ringwalds of this world. 482 00:23:18,569 --> 00:23:20,361 I wish I didn't give a shit. 483 00:23:20,381 --> 00:23:22,850 That's better than being a coward isn't it? 484 00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:29,173 Ok. We have got to talk about this thing. 485 00:23:29,644 --> 00:23:32,845 I'm good at visualizing things, but I... I don't know 486 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,547 if I have the strength to make things actually happen. 487 00:23:35,615 --> 00:23:39,587 And I'm, I'm sick of being afraid all the time 488 00:23:39,885 --> 00:23:44,690 and you have a confidence that, I admit, is very... 489 00:23:47,020 --> 00:23:49,076 What's wrong? 490 00:23:52,141 --> 00:23:56,301 - I have a brain tumour. - Oh God! 491 00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,404 - How long have you had it? - I don't know, 492 00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:01,500 I went to the doctor a couple of days ago 493 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,845 to refill my migraine medication 494 00:24:03,865 --> 00:24:06,278 and on the way out he said he saw something wrong 495 00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:08,746 with my eyes, he said he wanted to run some tests. 496 00:24:08,814 --> 00:24:11,149 - Oh God, what doctor? - Dr. Cass, the one 497 00:24:11,183 --> 00:24:13,151 - your husband recommended. - Jesus Christ. 498 00:24:13,185 --> 00:24:15,720 Anyway he called me last night and he said the tests 499 00:24:15,788 --> 00:24:17,922 were inconclusive and that he wanted to run some more. 500 00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:20,624 H... he said I blink asymmetrically. 501 00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:23,194 Watch. Ok, there. 502 00:24:23,228 --> 00:24:25,645 That's because there's a growth behind my eye. 503 00:24:25,665 --> 00:24:27,764 That's why it's doing that. 504 00:24:27,832 --> 00:24:30,901 That doctor is a quack. 505 00:24:30,935 --> 00:24:33,103 I don't know, I guess it was an education. 506 00:24:33,137 --> 00:24:35,046 Why so hard on yourself? Everybody looks like 507 00:24:35,066 --> 00:24:37,379 an idiot their first time. Speaking of which, 508 00:24:37,399 --> 00:24:39,810 I'm glad you're getting a foothold in this world. 509 00:24:39,877 --> 00:24:43,295 You know, the literary elite. Perception is everything. 510 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:46,186 But, if I were you, I would draw the line 511 00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:48,318 at letting Ringwald take your wife to the playground 512 00:24:48,352 --> 00:24:50,453 because perception is everything. 513 00:24:50,487 --> 00:24:53,757 - What? - I want to go home. 514 00:25:08,431 --> 00:25:10,456 Come to bed. 515 00:25:12,193 --> 00:25:13,993 Do you love me? 516 00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:16,812 Of course. 517 00:25:16,847 --> 00:25:19,749 Yeah, I was just thinking about that... 518 00:25:20,552 --> 00:25:22,450 You know that article I'm writing 519 00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:26,281 about what makes a classic? Think I finally figured it out. 520 00:25:27,423 --> 00:25:30,389 It's when you know something's true. 521 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,329 You go on without me. 522 00:25:38,421 --> 00:25:41,425 Just, come to bed. 523 00:25:42,455 --> 00:25:45,409 No. Not for a while. 524 00:26:02,348 --> 00:26:06,125 Hi. Al Jackson for Dr. Cass. 525 00:26:06,145 --> 00:26:08,156 He's just in with another patient. He won't be long. 526 00:26:08,176 --> 00:26:10,720 - Ok. - Ok, thanks. 527 00:26:10,965 --> 00:26:12,966 (Behind door) (Dr. Cass): Ok, the test 528 00:26:13,001 --> 00:26:15,522 results are in it's definitive this time... 529 00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:18,372 - You sure you're ready? - (Bob): Yes, I'm sure. 530 00:26:18,407 --> 00:26:21,141 - Negative! Ta da! - Oh my God. Oh, thank God. 531 00:26:21,209 --> 00:26:23,777 Well, you know, it was highly unlikely but it's best 532 00:26:23,812 --> 00:26:26,546 - to be sure of these things. - Absolutely. Thank you so much. 533 00:26:26,614 --> 00:26:30,449 Thank you. Thank you so much. 534 00:26:30,784 --> 00:26:32,986 I... I don't have a brain tumour. 535 00:26:33,054 --> 00:26:35,388 Ha! Ha! Ha! 536 00:26:35,456 --> 00:26:37,824 - Hi. Uh... - Al. 537 00:26:37,891 --> 00:26:40,226 Al. Hi. How are you? 538 00:26:40,260 --> 00:26:43,229 Thank you so much for hooking me up with this guy. 539 00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:45,985 I... I feel reborn. Ha! Ha! Ha! 540 00:26:46,005 --> 00:26:49,385 Fourth proximal phalange, hairline fracture. 541 00:26:49,405 --> 00:26:51,070 Ow! Ow. 542 00:26:51,104 --> 00:26:54,273 First time you've ever seen that quack 543 00:26:54,308 --> 00:26:56,709 and actually came home with something wrong. 544 00:26:56,743 --> 00:26:58,845 There you go. You see? All those countless thousands 545 00:26:58,912 --> 00:27:01,580 - of dollars finally paid off. - And no eye cancer. 546 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,150 No, it turns out the odd asymmetrical blink 547 00:27:04,170 --> 00:27:06,719 is perfectly acceptable, statistically speaking. 548 00:27:06,786 --> 00:27:08,654 Mm-hmm. I could've told you that. 549 00:27:08,722 --> 00:27:11,122 So, why the big secret? 550 00:27:11,910 --> 00:27:15,410 How did you break your... Whatever you said? 551 00:27:15,430 --> 00:27:18,964 ... about bringing out the best in every individual. 552 00:27:19,031 --> 00:27:22,490 And now, it is with great pride 553 00:27:22,510 --> 00:27:24,770 that I announce the winner of this year's 554 00:27:24,804 --> 00:27:27,805 Jonah book prize for fiction and it is... 555 00:27:27,874 --> 00:27:31,439 Randy Vemnies for The Devil's Chapter. 556 00:27:32,655 --> 00:27:35,745 sync and corrected by ninh www.addic7ed.com 557 00:27:35,795 --> 00:27:40,345 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41810

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