All language subtitles for Sean Saves the World s01e09 Best Friends for Never.eng

Okay, go.

Okay.

- Movie.
- Mm-hmm.

- Three words.
- Mm-hmm.

- Whole idea.
- It's Dances With Wolves.

Ellie will never get it.

That movie came out before I did.

You're dancing.

Step Up. Step Up Revolution.

Step Up 3D.

Second clue.

You're howling.

Twilight. Twilight: New Moon.

Twilight: Eclipse. Twilight: Breaking Dawn.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 2.

Honey, I'm dancing. I'm a wolf.

It's Dances with Wolves.

I still don't know what you're saying.

[Imitates buzzer] You talked.

- Our turn.
- Yeah.

It is time to kick some ass.

Of all the things to get macho about,

you pick charades?

He's the Dirty Harry of game night.

- Who's that?
- Oh, God.

We'll never win anything.

Okay, go.

Okay, um...

Movie.

One word.

Whole idea.

You.

It's raining.

You eat a hot dog.

It's undercooked.

You walk downstairs.

- Argo!
- Argo!

- [Yells]
- Yes!

How did you get Argo from that?

We were in New York
together. It was raining.

- I got hungry.
- I bought him a hot dog.

It made me nauseous.

So we took the subway back to the hotel...

Both: And watched
Argo on pay-per-view.

See, grandma?

Those are clues.

Uh-oh, got to go. Sorry, guys.

What, now? It's ice cream sundae time.

Sorry, I'm just a little tired.

Oh, come on, you're putting on lipstick.

You're not tired.

Do you have another date with Carl?

Okay, fine, yes.

We're going to Sam Oliver's.

I love that place.

The lighting makes me look taller.

Why can't I meet this mysterious Carl?

Oh, it's only been a few weeks,

and who knows if anything's gonna happen?

Oh, I do.

Something's gonna happen.

Okay, go. Have fun.

- Good night, guys.
- Bye-bye, honey.

Have a good time.

[Laughs]

She's hiding something.

She usually drags me to
meet the guys she's dating.

So what's going on with Carl?

Ready. Go.

He's married. He's a criminal.

He doesn't have a face.

He doesn't have a face?

That's your guess?

I hate game night.

All right, I'm going to Sam Oliver's

to find out what's happening.

And by the way, that lighting thing

is all in her head.

She's short no matter where you take her.

- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Hey, Liz.

Sean, what are you doing here?

Just meeting some friends.

You know, Tim and Chris.

Those are people.

Not real people.

You're spying on me.

I am... yes.

But why have you been
so secretive about Carl?

Is he a criminal? Does he have a wife?

How's his face? Does he have one?

Rainbow cocktails flying in.

Oh, that dodo bartender had
no idea how to make these,

so I staged a mutiny.

Made 'em myself.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Sean, this is Carl.

Carl, Sean.

Look at Sean all naked without a drink.

Here, you take this one.

I'll go make another.

Maybe this time, that tattooed man God

behind the bar will pay attention.

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So no wife there.

I know. Isn't it great? What a catch.

Just so we're clear,

Carl is super gay.

He came to earth

when his gay planet burst into flames.

What? Carl is gay?

Ugh, thanks for nothing, match.com.

Oh, my God. You know he's gay.

That's why you didn't want me to meet him.

- I can explain.
- [Gasps]

You're cheating on me
with another gay man...

Who makes delicious cocktails.

Damn it, that's good.

I can't believe you're sneaking around

seeing another gay man.

I'm so stupid. I never even suspected.

I'm sorry. I wasn't looking for it.

It just happened.

Oh, please, these things don't just happen.

Come on, Sean, you know
it's always been you.

Do I?

All I'm hearing right now are just words.

Can't a girl have more
than one gay best friend?

No.

Have you no respect for traditional values?

I'm sorry.

It's just, you and I used
to go out all the time,

and now all we do is sit
at home with your family.

I am 26 years old.

I tell people I'm 26 years old.

I need to get out more.

You deceived me.

I would never do that to you.

You know what you are?

Movie.

Two words.

Liar Liar.

So this Christmas, we have
some fun, exciting products

that'll ensure your website
has Santa-rrific sales.

And for your Jewish customers,

we have some things
that are right-on-ukkah.

Oh, Tippy, you are my favorite vendor.

You are vend-orable.

And you are my smartest
and handsomest buyer.

I always look forward to coming here

and gettin' my Sean on.

- [Chuckles]
- Now, come on.

Do that thing you do.

Oh, no.

- Come on.
- You want me to?

- I want you to do it.
- I'm gonna do it.

- Do it.
- Watch this.

Okay, I like this one but in this fabric

but with this mistletoe pattern.

All: Ooh!

I like this belt but in a brass buckle.

All: Ah!

And this, I never want to see again.

[Applause]

Hang on, everybody.

Ever since I bought this company,

I've watched Sean predict the latest trends

while you've all marveled,

your tiny mouths slack-jawed in wonder

like yokels in a burlesque tent.

We're all flattered by
that assessment, sir.

But Sean's not the only one

who can spot the latest
trends and pounce on them.

Jerry, now.

Right now, nothing's as
white-hot as medieval fantasy:

The Hobbit, Game of Yhrones,

restaurants where jousting is encouraged.

I love fantasy.

Of course you do,

because your real life is a
bleak wasteland of monotony.

It's better since I got cable.

Anyway, all of the men in that genre

wear our next big product...

[Snaps fingers]

Chain mail pants.

I bought 300 pairs of these
off a film production company

that lost its financing when
Shaquille O'Neal dropped out.

This is really heavy.

Can I please put it down?

It's "may I," and no.

Max, I don't know that
we're gonna sell these.

Our customers are pretty discerning,

and they like their pants under 50 pounds.

Oh, look, Sean is so
intimidated by my savvy.

What say you, Hunter?

Are these pants hip? Yea or nay.

I'm gonna go with nay, Max.

Unwise.

In the name of Shaquille
O'Neal, we will sell these pants.

You can put those down now, Jerry.

We don't know that.

Oh, sorry.

I overslept.

Oh, fun night with your bitch, Carl?

Just tell me how the sales meeting went.

It was fantastic.

Oprah came. You missed it.

She gave everybody a car.

Sean, I am not going to
apologize for seeing Carl.

I'm allowed to have friends
who want to do something

other than sit at home with their family

and play charades.

Did someone say charades?

Charades is my jam.

Really? Mine too.

I have a very expressive body.

It says things my mouth wouldn't dare.

Oh.

Let's take it for a spin.

Game night, tonight, my house.

We need a fourth player.

The person who used to come
developed a drinking problem

and now can't even get to work on time.

- Oh, poor thing.
- Hmm.

Oh, don't feel sorry for her.

She has a new, sassy friend

who doesn't call 9:30 a late night.

What do you say, Tippy?

Want to replace her?

You'd have to be willing to play charades,

then conveniently leave
before it's time to clean up.

Eff yeah!

Can I bring anything?

Just your loyalty.

Oh, and maybe a seven-layer dip...

or five, whatever you have time for.

And go.

Movie.

Three words.

Whole idea.

Smack!

Ow!

That hurt.

Mascara.

Itchy eyes.

Smack!

Ow!

Stop slapping me.

I'm doing the best I can.

God's sakes. It's Boys Don't Cry.

Yes.

You are good at this, lady.

I want you as my partner next time.

You're fun. She's fun.

Way better than the other one.

You're more fun than anyone.

And look how beautiful you are.

Such a sense of style.

Will you take me shopping sometime?

You're on.

Why'd it take you so long
to get a decent friend?

So we done here?

No, we're just taking a break.

Come on, let's get our sundaes.

Race you to the freezer.

Losers eat second.

Bam!

Ow.

We're just getting ice cream,

not storming a Walmart on Black Friday.

Tippy's got a lot of energy.

Yeah, like that chimp that
tore that guy's nuts off.

Hey, hey, hey.

First of all, there's a
part of me that's delighted

by what you just said.

Second of all, Tippy's our guest.

Let's give her a chance.

Sean, sit down.

I have a surprise for you.

Oh, we don't need to do that.

Sit down and close your eyes.

Come on, dad.

She's our guest.

Let's give her a chance.

Okay.

[Both giggling]

[Sean yelling]

[Tippy laughing]

[Muffled] I don't like this!

He said he wants more.

Oh! [Laughs]

[Yells]

Hey, Sean.

I wrote the copy for
Max's chain mail pants,

which have been on our website for a week.

Guess how many we sold.

If your number is higher than zero,

revise it downward.

Poor you.

How many of these you think we could sell?

Oh, my God.

Did you get that from Tippy?

No, it was a gift from Queen Elizabeth.

It was part of her jubilee.

You've been seeing a
lot of that chick lately.

I know.

First it was game night.

Then it was pizza night.

Then it was "I'm in bed
but my back door's open

so she let herself in and I
almost called the cops" night.

What started out as a friendship

has turned into a hostage crisis.

We should get Tippy to buy

a pair of those chain mail pants,

then push her in the lake.

Solve both our problems.

That would never work.

She's as strong as a grizzly bear.

Oh, Hunter, I want you to jazz up the copy

on those chain mail pants.

This whole project has
been enormously successful,

but we still have a few pairs left.

Oh, come on, Max.

No one's bought any of them.

And even if we do sell a pair,

they'll cost as much to ship as a llama.

I once shipped a llama...

very expensive.

Fascinating.

I want to hear all about

the packaging and mailing of livestock.

Please elaborate in a different locale.

I do not appreciate
you shaming me like that

in front of Sean.

If this was a Japanese company,

I'd be within my rights
to chop your head off.

I'm pretty sure you're confusing

the Japanese with Klingons.

Don't play the race card with me.

Look, we have to show Sean that I am right.

So tonight we are going
to viral market the pants

by wearing them to bars all over town.

We'll be tweeted and tumblr'd

until the entire Internet is abuzz

about the two dapper dudes
in the stainless steel slacks.

Yeah, I don't want to do that.

Be in the chain mail pants by 8:00.

And don't wear that shirt.
We don't want to look stupid.

Ugh, they said that place
was supposed to be fusion?

Yeah, fusion between ew and yuck.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

Tippy, you're so funny.

What? What'd I say?

[Laughs]

"What'd I say?" [Laughs]

[Laughs]

Carl, you maniac, you are so funny.

[Laughs] Ah, oh, Tippy, my side.

Stop it. [Laughs]

[Laughing]

Oh, you're the funniest gay man I know.

[Laughs]

You just laugh-spat on me.

I'm out of here.

[Laughter]

Oh, my God.

Tippy is so much fun.

I know, and Carl's the greatest.

Oh, good, then it's all working out.

Yeah, except for one thing.

- What's that?
- I hate him.

Can we talk?

So what's going on, Liz?

I used to think Carl was fun and bitchy,

but it turns out he's just bitchy.

But when you came in, you
were just laughing so hard.

I have to.

If I don't laugh at his jokes,

he makes fun of me and
calls me "Liz Miserableh."

[Laughs]

What a jerk.

Why are you still hanging out with him?

'Cause you were having
so much fun with Tippy,

and I wanted to make you jealous.

God, who does that?

Well, the truth is, I...

I'll tell you who.

A petty, pathetic person

who's insecure and a
terrible, terrible friend.

You were right when you
said that I deceived you,

and you would never do that to me

'cause you're a good person.

I'm sorry. I interrupted you.

What were you going to say?

I forgive you.

Hey.

I was thinking,

why don't we all go out
for drinks after work?

Sean's bestie will hang with...

Sean's other bestie.

[Laughs]

It'll be a bestie festie, aah!

That sounds awful.

I mean awful.

Why can't I say "awesome"?

Oh, there I go.

That sounds awful.

Oh, my God.

- Hey, Liz.
- Oh, hey, Ellie.

I think your dad's in with Max.

Actually, I'm here to see you.

We need you back in our lives.

Why?

Because Tippy keeps
calling me Ellie-Belly,

then poking me in the gut.

Really, you don't like her?

'Cause your dad loves her.

Actually, he can't stand her.

Shut up and tell me more.

I'm not proud of this, but
I am very excited right now.

The other day, Tippy let herself in,

and my dad hid in that
closet under the stairs

where all the spiders are.

He screamed for a full
hour without making a sound.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe he's been lying to me,

even after I came clean about Carl.

So what are you gonna do?

Movie. Four words.

Just tell me.

There will be blood.

I think you guys make up these movies.

[Both chuckling]

Well, it's been three minutes.

Looks like Liz isn't gonna show.

I guess we should call it a night.

Wait.

It's okay if Liz doesn't come.

You know what's crazy?

My place is only two blocks from here.

Maybe we should go there and make love.

What?

You know you want to.

No, I don't.

I think you do.

I really don't.

Come on, let's do it.

No, let's not.

I love what we have, Sean.

Let's take it to the next level.

You know I'm gay.

We're all a little something.

I'm not just a little gay.

No.

You're a big, strong gay.

Oh, hey, guys.

Sean, I have great news.

I got us two tickets to see
Justin Timberlake on the 15th.

- You want to go?
- Justin Timberlake?

Yes. Oh, my God.

It's in Madison,

so I thought we could spend
the night at my aunt's cabin.

That sounds fantastic.

I know, right? [Laughs]

Only I'm not free that weekend.

So I thought you could take Tippy instead.

Wait. What's happening?

Tippy, are you a big J.T. fan?

[Gasps]

Oh, my God.

We're going to see J.T. in
Madison and spend the night.

Hang on, the 15th?

- Mm-hmm.
- I thought you said the 50th.

I have a thing on the 15th.

- Oh, no, you don't.
- Yeah, yeah.

- Nope.
- It's on the...

- Mm-mm.
- Yup.

- Checked your calendar.
- But I... so did I...

- Yup, it's free.
- Nope.

- Totally clear.
- This is so exciting.

I'm gonna have you all to myself.

I'm just gonna run to
the little girls' room.

Don't drink too much.

I have clean sheets on my bed,

and I don't want them to stay that way.

[Gasps]

Did you see that?

[Scoffs]

Tippy made a pass at me.

Well, as much as I like her,

I'm gonna have to break things off.

- Oh, well, let's go.
- Hey.

You are so full of crap.

I know you don't like Tippy.

What?

Ellie told me because she's not a liar.

Ellie... damn it, there's
always a loose end.

[Pants jingling]

Max, we have been to four bars already.

I want to go home.

I feel like I'm wearing a
cheese grater for a jockstrap.

Suck it up, man.

That's our target audience.

Let's go.

Wow, the betties sure
are going crazy tonight,

thanks to these snazzy chain mail slacks

available only at pembertonroad.com.

Check it out, dorks of the round table.

Yeah, dungeons and douche bags.

[Both snicker]

Are we finished?

'Cause that was the least mean feedback

we've had all night.

Yes, I need a drink.

I snagged a pube, and
if I don't dull the pain,

I'm gonna start crying.

[Both groan]

Sean was right.

I suck at trendsetting.

Oh, don't beat yourself up.

Look, you shouldn't try to out-Sean Sean.

You're the boss, the big-picture guy.

Okay, you've got to be Max to the Max.

Ah, yes.

I've got to do what bosses do:

take credit for other
people's achievements.

Thank you, Hunter.

I'm glad I thought of that.

You lied to me.

Because you lied to me.

Oh, and I'll tell you something else.

You suck at charades.

Ha! That is laughable.

Here's me pantomime-laughing at you.

Oh, oh, and here's me looking confused

because your pantomime sucks.

'Sup, guys?

Sean, I thought about you
when I was in the bathroom.

[Chortles]

Listen, Tippy, we don't...

Shh!

I have never been so relieved
to taste soap in my life.

Tippy, you and Sean are
never going to happen.

You're just jealous
because you had your chance

and you lost him.

Lost him?

I... I didn't lose him.

Sean, did I lose you?

No, we just had a fight.

You could never lose me,

even if we were in that
maze from that movie, uh...

[Snaps fingers] It was Valentine's Day.

We ordered those dumplings.
I had that goatee.

- You told me it wasn't working.
- The Shining.

That's it, the shining.

And I had to spend the night at your place

because I was too afraid to go home.

And you stayed there for
a week because there were...

Both: Eight-year-old twins...

- In your building.
- In my building.

Tippy,

if I were to ever wake up
on the wrong side of gay,

this is the only woman I'd be with.

Okay, Sean.

It's your loss.

It would've been a wild ride.

So would I really be the only woman

you'd want to be with?

Of course.

But just so we're clear,

there's, like, a million
dudes in line ahead of you.

And just so we're clear,

there are, like, a million
dudes in line ahead of you.

And a couple chicks.

You mean the waitress at the...

Yeah.

I'm sorry I cheated on you with Carl.

Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't honest either.

In my defense, I thought
I could get away with it.

[Chuckling] Wild night.

Hey, but at least we're going
to that J.T. concert together.

- Oh, Sean.
- No?

That was back when we
were lying to each other.

Tippy?

Tippy, is that you?

Sorry, Lorna, it's just me.

Oh, what?

What's happening?

Tippy and I have parted ways.

Oh, I see.

I got to get some water.

Sorry, you're stuck with me again, Lorna.

Oh, that's all right, Liz.

I was getting tired of Tippy anyway.

I'm glad to have you back.

Aw.

That's so sweet.

Two of my favorite women
in the whole world...

I was just being nice.

I'm devastated.

Good night.

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