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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:03,733 Previously on Scream Queens... 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,875 Looks like we're gonna need to call a Green Meanie summit. 3 00:00:06,953 --> 00:00:09,709 We are here to review the past and future kills. 4 00:00:11,093 --> 00:00:14,228 Chanel Oberlin fried my sister's face off. 5 00:00:14,296 --> 00:00:16,831 Help me! 6 00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:18,833 I'm Chanel 3, Cassidy's girlfriend. 7 00:00:18,901 --> 00:00:20,968 She is going to have to die. 8 00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:22,904 We can put Denise in the freezer 9 00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:24,806 until they find a cure for being electrocuted. 10 00:00:26,642 --> 00:00:28,846 You, Dr. Brock Holt, are a killer. 11 00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:32,880 I have a disease called Kuru. It is terminal. I'll be dead in a month. 12 00:00:32,948 --> 00:00:34,582 You guys are gonna kill me, aren't you? 13 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:42,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 14 00:01:29,705 --> 00:01:30,838 Chanel? 15 00:02:10,746 --> 00:02:12,013 Holy crap! 16 00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:17,285 I'm sorry. 17 00:02:17,352 --> 00:02:19,166 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 18 00:02:19,191 --> 00:02:20,625 Thanks for not killing me. 19 00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:21,926 I don't want this anymore. 20 00:02:21,994 --> 00:02:23,094 What about your mom, though? 21 00:02:23,162 --> 00:02:24,962 I'm gonna have to kill her. 22 00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,631 Doesn't that seem a little extreme? 23 00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:27,932 How about you just talk to her? 24 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,100 Oh, yeah. 25 00:02:29,168 --> 00:02:30,802 That could work, too. 26 00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:32,603 You not killing me and standing up to your mom 27 00:02:32,671 --> 00:02:35,106 is totally turning me on. 28 00:02:35,174 --> 00:02:36,674 How 'bout I go home and take a quick whore's bath 29 00:02:36,742 --> 00:02:37,909 and you meet me in a half an hour? 30 00:02:37,976 --> 00:02:39,110 Mm... 31 00:02:39,178 --> 00:02:40,578 mm-Kay. 32 00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:41,746 I'll see you then. 33 00:02:46,185 --> 00:02:47,251 Oh, my gosh. 34 00:02:47,319 --> 00:02:49,253 These Chanels are impossible to kill. 35 00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:50,955 It's almost like their narcissism 36 00:02:51,023 --> 00:02:52,090 and stupidity create some kind 37 00:02:52,157 --> 00:02:53,357 of a force field around them. 38 00:02:53,425 --> 00:02:55,126 We have to think bigger. 39 00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:56,360 And we've got to make that happen, soon. 40 00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:57,462 I'm out, okay? 41 00:02:57,529 --> 00:02:58,696 I'm-I'm-I'm done. 42 00:02:58,764 --> 00:02:59,931 This is all you, now. 43 00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:02,900 Except for Chanel 3. 44 00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,135 If you touch her, 45 00:03:04,203 --> 00:03:05,570 then I'll gladly come out of retirement 46 00:03:05,637 --> 00:03:06,938 to end you. 47 00:03:07,005 --> 00:03:07,972 Listen up, pretty boy. 48 00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:10,775 If you're not part of the solution, 49 00:03:10,843 --> 00:03:12,510 then as far as I'm concerned, 50 00:03:12,578 --> 00:03:15,947 you are just another problem. 51 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,495 Call E.C.C. Nurse Hoffel, call E.C.C. 52 00:03:30,562 --> 00:03:32,296 We still on for dinner tonight? 53 00:03:32,364 --> 00:03:33,364 I'm a little bit confused as to 54 00:03:33,432 --> 00:03:34,632 whether we're still dating. 55 00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:36,200 I mean, I did try to strangle you 56 00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:37,368 and I would totally understand 57 00:03:37,436 --> 00:03:38,369 if you thought that was sort of, 58 00:03:38,437 --> 00:03:39,637 uh, crossing the line. 59 00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:41,172 It was, don't get me wrong. 60 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,075 But there comes a point in every long-term relationship 61 00:03:44,143 --> 00:03:45,643 where you feel like you just want to... 62 00:03:45,711 --> 00:03:47,378 strangle your partner! 63 00:03:47,446 --> 00:03:48,679 So, the fact that you actually did, 64 00:03:48,747 --> 00:03:50,148 means we are communicating those feelings 65 00:03:50,215 --> 00:03:51,149 instead of burying them. 66 00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:52,350 Plus, I took the fact 67 00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:53,851 that you helped me, Number Three and Number Five 68 00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,087 cheat on the MCATs as your way of truly apologizing. 69 00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:57,388 You didn't help me cheat! 70 00:03:57,456 --> 00:03:58,823 Nobody helped me cheat! 71 00:03:58,891 --> 00:04:00,658 I almost got a perfect score all by myself. 72 00:04:00,726 --> 00:04:02,827 We all almost got perfect scores, Number Five. 73 00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:04,162 But I didn't cheat! 74 00:04:04,229 --> 00:04:06,597 Nobody cares! 75 00:04:06,665 --> 00:04:07,965 Anyway, 76 00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:09,167 we still on for dinner? 77 00:04:09,234 --> 00:04:10,168 Sure. 78 00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:14,305 Why can't you see the opportunity 79 00:04:14,373 --> 00:04:15,840 right in front of you? 80 00:04:15,908 --> 00:04:17,241 The only thing I see right in front of me 81 00:04:17,309 --> 00:04:18,809 is a bedsore that's progressing quite nicely, 82 00:04:18,877 --> 00:04:19,877 Mr. Locklear. 83 00:04:19,945 --> 00:04:21,412 All right, I want to keep you on, uh, 84 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,314 silver sulfadiazine and nitrofurazone 85 00:04:23,382 --> 00:04:25,483 for a few more days, before we attempt 86 00:04:25,551 --> 00:04:26,817 another debridement, huh? 87 00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:28,886 Dean Munsch is dying. 88 00:04:28,954 --> 00:04:30,054 And soon. 89 00:04:30,122 --> 00:04:31,489 And her fortune is going into a trust 90 00:04:31,557 --> 00:04:32,990 that's being drafted on the premise 91 00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:34,025 that she doesn't have a next of kin. 92 00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,059 Which she doesn't, 93 00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:36,761 but she will, when you convince her 94 00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:38,196 - to marry you. - What? 95 00:04:38,263 --> 00:04:40,932 Just... think about it. 96 00:04:40,999 --> 00:04:42,233 You two get hitched, 97 00:04:42,301 --> 00:04:43,601 she kicks it from the Kuru 98 00:04:43,669 --> 00:04:44,902 and bam! 99 00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:47,605 You're the fortune's trustee. 100 00:04:47,673 --> 00:04:49,073 If I'm in charge of the trust... 101 00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:50,274 We'll rob it from them blind. 102 00:04:50,342 --> 00:04:51,709 We'll run away together. 103 00:04:51,777 --> 00:04:53,945 Far, far away, where no one can find us. 104 00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:55,746 We'll fix up a boat on the beach, 105 00:04:55,814 --> 00:04:57,048 just like the last scene in Shawshank. 106 00:04:57,115 --> 00:04:58,416 No, I don't really like boats. 107 00:04:58,483 --> 00:05:00,051 Listen, we can buy Blood Island. 108 00:05:00,118 --> 00:05:01,552 We'll live there together. 109 00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,087 Just two murderers with no one to murder 110 00:05:03,155 --> 00:05:04,722 except for each other, but we never will, 111 00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:06,057 because we love and trust each other. 112 00:05:06,124 --> 00:05:07,725 And believe me, Brock, 113 00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:10,728 no one understands you like I do. 114 00:05:10,796 --> 00:05:12,863 I will always be there for you. 115 00:05:12,931 --> 00:05:14,265 And I will always... 116 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,867 let you attack my crack. 117 00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:19,870 Even when I've had a really large meal 118 00:05:19,938 --> 00:05:22,707 and I'm unsure of what you might encounter up there. 119 00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:24,075 Now you lost me. 120 00:05:24,142 --> 00:05:25,109 We can buy 121 00:05:25,177 --> 00:05:26,444 Blood Island and we can fill it 122 00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:27,945 with boatloads of tourists. 123 00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:29,280 Then we'll knock 'em off one by one 124 00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:31,082 Most Dangerous Game style. 125 00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:34,919 Extreme tourism is quite hot right now. 126 00:05:34,987 --> 00:05:36,387 See? 127 00:05:36,455 --> 00:05:37,788 Yeah, but this plan is too elaborate. 128 00:05:37,856 --> 00:05:38,923 If you stop and think about it... 129 00:05:38,991 --> 00:05:40,391 Don't think about it. 130 00:05:40,459 --> 00:05:41,759 This plan 131 00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:43,261 seems impossible 132 00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:44,662 until it's possible. 133 00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:46,097 In fact, 134 00:05:46,164 --> 00:05:47,565 it's inevitable. 135 00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,671 Okay. All right. 136 00:05:55,073 --> 00:05:56,507 I'll, uh, 137 00:05:56,575 --> 00:05:58,009 I'll think about it. 138 00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:10,921 Moebius? 139 00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:13,824 It's Daria. Daria Janssen. 140 00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:16,327 Whatever. What are you doing out here? 141 00:06:16,395 --> 00:06:17,895 Well, 142 00:06:17,963 --> 00:06:19,897 I love fresh tomatoes. 143 00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,932 I checked the pH of the swamp, 144 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,934 and concluded that the rich humus 145 00:06:24,002 --> 00:06:25,836 that settles at the bottom 146 00:06:25,904 --> 00:06:28,039 would make a fantastic 147 00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,274 nitrogen-rich fertilizer. The... 148 00:06:30,342 --> 00:06:32,376 tomatoes appear to be glowing slightly. 149 00:06:33,537 --> 00:06:34,845 Don't light that! 150 00:06:34,913 --> 00:06:36,947 This stuff is highly flammable. 151 00:06:37,015 --> 00:06:38,316 One spark and 152 00:06:38,383 --> 00:06:41,018 that much fertilizer would kill us both. 153 00:06:41,086 --> 00:06:41,819 Duh. 154 00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:45,022 Duh. 155 00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:52,366 _ 156 00:06:53,689 --> 00:06:55,556 _ 157 00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:04,792 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. 158 00:07:04,817 --> 00:07:07,128 What? Okay, get this. 159 00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,121 Last night, I spent the night at Dr. Hot's house 160 00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:10,622 and as soon as he fell asleep, I snatched his phone 161 00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,357 and started going through it for hours and hours. 162 00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:13,892 Wait. Are you supposed to do that? 163 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,128 Hello? He's my boyfriend. 164 00:07:16,196 --> 00:07:18,130 He trusts me enough not to do that kind of thing, 165 00:07:18,198 --> 00:07:20,399 which makes it really easy for me to do that kind of thing. 166 00:07:20,466 --> 00:07:21,700 Your total ignorance about how relationships work 167 00:07:21,768 --> 00:07:23,068 is probably the reason why 168 00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:24,102 all your boyfriends get murdered. 169 00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:26,071 What? That has nothing 170 00:07:26,139 --> 00:07:28,941 to do with my boyfriends being murdered. 171 00:07:29,008 --> 00:07:30,442 Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. 172 00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:31,543 Anyway, 173 00:07:31,611 --> 00:07:33,645 I went through his browser history 174 00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:36,114 and he was googling... 175 00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:38,217 cheap engagement rings. 176 00:07:38,284 --> 00:07:39,685 "How quickly 177 00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:41,119 can I get a cheap engagement ring?" 178 00:07:41,187 --> 00:07:42,521 I mean, do you know what this means? 179 00:07:42,589 --> 00:07:43,689 Oh, my God. 180 00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,657 Brock is gonna propose to me! 181 00:07:49,329 --> 00:07:50,762 Oh, my God! 182 00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:52,331 Shut up! 183 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,167 Dr. Holt is asking everyone 184 00:07:55,235 --> 00:07:57,269 to gather in Dean Munsch's room. 185 00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:16,521 Chanel, I'm glad you're here. 186 00:08:16,589 --> 00:08:18,023 I'm glad everyone's here. 187 00:08:20,827 --> 00:08:22,127 I know this sounds crazy, but... 188 00:08:23,162 --> 00:08:24,129 I'm just gonna do it, 189 00:08:24,197 --> 00:08:25,297 'cause life is too short. 190 00:08:25,365 --> 00:08:26,098 It is! 191 00:08:31,104 --> 00:08:32,337 Will you marry me? 192 00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:37,142 Cathy? 193 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,256 Oh... 194 00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:43,081 - What?! - I just... 195 00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:45,751 I wasn't expecting this to happen. 196 00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,719 Nobody was expecting this to happen! 197 00:08:47,787 --> 00:08:50,088 Cathy, let's enjoy the last few days of your life 198 00:08:50,156 --> 00:08:51,390 the way you should. 199 00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:54,192 You and I, as man and wife. 200 00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:55,814 Pounding? 201 00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:57,829 Yes, darling. Pounding. 202 00:08:59,832 --> 00:09:01,233 Yes. 203 00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:02,034 Of course. 204 00:09:02,101 --> 00:09:04,036 A thousand times, yes. 205 00:09:07,206 --> 00:09:08,540 Oh... 206 00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:26,825 Chanel? 207 00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:31,863 Oh, Chanel, 208 00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:34,599 I'm sorry. I should have told you I was gonna do that. 209 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,902 Propose to my mortal enemy? 210 00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:38,070 I think telling me about it 211 00:09:38,137 --> 00:09:40,038 was the least you could have done. 212 00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:42,407 What is happening? 213 00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:44,609 Oh, Dean Munsch is gonna die in a month, 214 00:09:44,677 --> 00:09:46,111 tops. I mean, 215 00:09:46,179 --> 00:09:47,212 think of my proposal as sort of... 216 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,947 end-of-life care. 217 00:09:49,015 --> 00:09:51,316 Like a romantic hospice. 218 00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:54,419 Like, a Make-A-Wish Foundation kind of thing? 219 00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:55,821 Yes, exactly. 220 00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,456 Like a Make-A-Wish Foundation thing. 221 00:09:57,523 --> 00:10:00,125 It's not fair! 222 00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:03,228 I mean, I'm dying, too. 223 00:10:03,296 --> 00:10:06,198 We all are, in a way. 224 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:08,834 I mean, I want a hot doctor boyfriend. 225 00:10:10,136 --> 00:10:12,237 What does having a boyfriend even mean to you? 226 00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:14,272 You're clearly not into sex. 227 00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:16,241 But what you are into 228 00:10:16,309 --> 00:10:21,880 is having someone to post adorable relationship selfies with. 229 00:10:23,182 --> 00:10:25,984 My romantic social media footprint is very important to me. 230 00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:28,687 I know it is. And that's why we're gonna meet up three times a day, 231 00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:30,188 and we're gonna take cute-as-button 232 00:10:30,256 --> 00:10:33,492 pictures and-and you can put the dog filter on, 233 00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,728 with the ears and the big tongue and write silly little things on it. 234 00:10:36,796 --> 00:10:38,163 And you post it just like we're a real couple. 235 00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:41,800 Because we are a real couple. 236 00:10:41,868 --> 00:10:43,869 - Okay. - Okay? 237 00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,904 And then, maybe... 238 00:10:45,972 --> 00:10:48,240 just maybe... 239 00:10:48,307 --> 00:10:50,308 when Dean Munsch dies, 240 00:10:50,376 --> 00:10:54,713 I'll rip that ring off her cold, dead finger and give it to you. 241 00:11:03,222 --> 00:11:05,023 Mom. 242 00:11:05,091 --> 00:11:08,293 As you can tell from Chanel #3 still being alive... 243 00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,196 I have decided 244 00:11:11,264 --> 00:11:14,366 that I don't want to kill anymore. 245 00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:16,134 Everyone thinks Grace's creepy dad was the killer. 246 00:11:16,202 --> 00:11:20,138 If no one else gets murdered from now on, you basically got away with it all. 247 00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:24,209 I love you so much, Mom. 248 00:11:24,277 --> 00:11:27,145 I do. 249 00:11:27,213 --> 00:11:29,514 But I'm a healer. 250 00:11:29,582 --> 00:11:31,950 All this killing and revenge stuff, 251 00:11:32,018 --> 00:11:34,953 it's... it's you. 252 00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,556 It's not me. 253 00:11:43,262 --> 00:11:45,797 This ends when the hospital is shut down. 254 00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:49,534 Don't try and get in my way. 255 00:11:49,602 --> 00:11:50,802 How can you talk to your son like that? 256 00:11:53,106 --> 00:11:54,539 He's no son of mine. 257 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,976 He's all yours, Jezebel. 258 00:12:05,151 --> 00:12:06,785 How do you feel about what just happened? 259 00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,920 I know I'm right. 260 00:12:08,988 --> 00:12:10,922 Your love has shown me that. 261 00:12:12,522 --> 00:12:14,289 But we have a bigger problem. 262 00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:17,295 Hoffel. 263 00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:20,232 She's the other Green Meanie. 264 00:12:20,299 --> 00:12:22,701 And I think she's got something big planned. 265 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,317 Did you get him? 266 00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:58,886 Of course. 267 00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,689 Oh! Hey. 268 00:13:02,757 --> 00:13:04,258 Hello! 269 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,567 Wow. 270 00:13:06,622 --> 00:13:10,792 What? Is that Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy? 271 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:12,327 I'm sure it's just a lookalike. 272 00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:14,129 Yeah. 273 00:13:14,197 --> 00:13:16,264 But how can we be sure? 274 00:13:16,332 --> 00:13:18,100 I was told the participants would like 275 00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:19,468 to get this done quickly. 276 00:13:19,535 --> 00:13:22,104 Yes. Um, I don't have much time left. 277 00:13:25,041 --> 00:13:27,209 Understood. 278 00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:28,510 Sign here, please. 279 00:13:28,578 --> 00:13:30,879 Oh. Okay. Thank you. 280 00:13:30,947 --> 00:13:33,115 Um, I need a pen... Oh. 281 00:13:33,182 --> 00:13:35,150 Thank you, Hester. 282 00:13:38,354 --> 00:13:39,488 Sweet of you. Darling? 283 00:13:39,555 --> 00:13:40,555 What? 284 00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,357 Hmm. Oh. 285 00:13:44,393 --> 00:13:49,698 Okay. Assuming this gets notarized, I pronounce you husband and wife. 286 00:13:53,069 --> 00:13:56,171 Ah! 287 00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:02,811 Hi. 288 00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:05,213 Sorry. I know you didn't want to be disturbed. 289 00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:07,282 It's okay, Chanel #5. 290 00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,217 Considering that this is the closest you will ever get 291 00:14:09,285 --> 00:14:12,187 to being married, I'm gonna make an exception. 292 00:14:12,255 --> 00:14:15,123 Thank you. So, I have done some research, 293 00:14:15,191 --> 00:14:18,059 and looked over your tests, 294 00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:20,562 and I don't think you have Kuru. And if you do, 295 00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:22,531 you're probably only in the second clinical stage... 296 00:14:22,598 --> 00:14:25,066 the sedentary stage... and symptoms of that stage 297 00:14:25,134 --> 00:14:27,269 include not being able to walk without support. 298 00:14:27,336 --> 00:14:28,870 Which I have. She has that. 299 00:14:28,938 --> 00:14:30,772 - Tremors. - - See? 300 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,175 Emotional instability, depression. 301 00:14:33,242 --> 00:14:35,744 Which I certainly have, because you... 302 00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:39,114 are wasting what little precious time I have left. 303 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,216 I, too, have researched Kuru, okay? 304 00:14:41,284 --> 00:14:43,218 - Kuru. - Kuru. 305 00:14:43,286 --> 00:14:45,187 And sure, her symptoms may be from something else, 306 00:14:45,254 --> 00:14:47,389 but this woman ate dead flesh from the only known tribe 307 00:14:47,456 --> 00:14:50,258 to carry that disease on this planet. 308 00:14:50,326 --> 00:14:53,228 I mean, I'm sorry, but I feel that our diagnosis is correct. 309 00:14:53,296 --> 00:14:54,896 I'm sorry, boo. Wait, but the only way 310 00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:57,265 to really know for sure is to test a piece of her brain. 311 00:14:57,333 --> 00:15:01,102 What if we performed an awake craniotomy to get the sample? 312 00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:03,371 If she's awake during the operation, 313 00:15:03,439 --> 00:15:06,241 we can ask her questions to make sure that we're not getting close to any parts 314 00:15:06,309 --> 00:15:07,842 that she actually needs. 315 00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:09,077 You know, 316 00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:13,048 the brain is a weird piece of meat, 317 00:15:13,115 --> 00:15:15,250 and it's highly adaptable, I mean... 318 00:15:15,318 --> 00:15:18,119 But I'll be a vegetable for the remaining weeks I have left. 319 00:15:18,187 --> 00:15:20,922 You're not seriously considering this, are you, my love? 320 00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:23,325 Just saying, it would really suck if you don't have Kuru 321 00:15:23,392 --> 00:15:25,293 and you do have something that we could treat, 322 00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:27,295 but you die because we never knew. 323 00:15:27,363 --> 00:15:29,831 Plus, it's a badass surgery, 324 00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:32,968 I mean, I would look so cool in front of my friends at Harvard. 325 00:15:33,035 --> 00:15:34,569 That's the school I went to, Harvard. 326 00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:39,007 Y-You know... 327 00:15:39,075 --> 00:15:40,508 you're right. 328 00:15:40,576 --> 00:15:42,244 If I don't have Kuru, 329 00:15:42,311 --> 00:15:46,514 that means you and I have years and years 330 00:15:46,582 --> 00:15:50,652 and years and years of being together ahead of us. 331 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,687 That sounds great. 332 00:16:23,185 --> 00:16:24,286 Hello. 333 00:16:24,353 --> 00:16:26,121 Hello, Nurse Hoffel? 334 00:16:26,188 --> 00:16:28,189 It's Jane Hollis, Cassidy's mom. 335 00:16:28,257 --> 00:16:31,026 Uh, I'm a little busy. Can I call you back? 336 00:16:31,093 --> 00:16:32,827 Oh, I just need a minute. 337 00:16:32,895 --> 00:16:35,897 Where are you? It sounds like a big echo. 338 00:16:35,965 --> 00:16:37,966 In the basement. 339 00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:39,367 Ooh, that sounds fun. 340 00:16:39,435 --> 00:16:41,903 Is it a finished basement? 341 00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:44,139 - Jane! - I always wanted one of those... 342 00:16:44,206 --> 00:16:45,507 I'm really sort of busy. 343 00:16:45,574 --> 00:16:47,642 Right, I'll just get to it. 344 00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:48,576 Listen. 345 00:16:48,644 --> 00:16:51,146 My son is dead to me. 346 00:16:51,213 --> 00:16:53,248 So now it's just you and me. 347 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:56,151 I really appreciate all the work you've been doing, 348 00:16:56,218 --> 00:16:59,220 and I wanted to offer my help in finishing the job. 349 00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:02,157 I think I'm doing fine on my own. Thank you. 350 00:17:04,093 --> 00:17:05,860 Oh. 351 00:17:05,928 --> 00:17:08,196 She hung up. 352 00:17:34,824 --> 00:17:38,360 I did everything right, raising that boy. 353 00:17:38,427 --> 00:17:41,863 All I know is, I'm a failure as a mother. 354 00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:43,264 Mm. Look, 355 00:17:43,332 --> 00:17:45,233 maybe you're feeling that way 356 00:17:45,301 --> 00:17:48,203 because you're seeing what Cassidy did as letting you down. 357 00:17:48,270 --> 00:17:50,305 He did the right thing. 358 00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,973 Which means deep down, he's a good person 359 00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:53,274 who knows right from wrong. 360 00:17:53,342 --> 00:17:54,376 Who taught him that? 361 00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:57,045 Well, he watches a lot of television. 362 00:17:57,113 --> 00:18:00,148 Modern Family impacted him deeply. 363 00:18:00,216 --> 00:18:02,484 It was you. 364 00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:04,886 I know what it's like to lose someone you love. 365 00:18:04,954 --> 00:18:08,056 My boyfriend was murdered. 366 00:18:08,124 --> 00:18:11,092 I miss his big arm muscles every day. 367 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,095 I miss my husband so much. 368 00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:17,899 His arm muscles weren't very big, 369 00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:19,734 but they were mine. 370 00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:22,137 As long as you keep focusing on revenge, 371 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,972 you'll never get to truly grieve him. 372 00:18:25,361 --> 00:18:27,028 Let me show you the hospital. 373 00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:29,744 The new one your son helped build? 374 00:18:31,091 --> 00:18:32,919 The one that actually heals people. 375 00:18:38,721 --> 00:18:40,121 You can't go through with this. 376 00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:42,056 - Why? - Because what if you cure her? 377 00:18:42,124 --> 00:18:43,324 I'm not gonna cure her. 378 00:18:43,392 --> 00:18:44,926 Look, I'm gonna go ahead with the procedure, 379 00:18:44,994 --> 00:18:46,361 I'm gonna find out she's still dying, 380 00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,129 we'll cry a bunch, we'll probably pound some, 381 00:18:48,197 --> 00:18:49,464 and then, in a few weeks, she's gonna die 382 00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:50,799 and you and I will go to Blood Island. 383 00:18:50,866 --> 00:18:52,534 - I want you to kill her. - What? 384 00:18:52,601 --> 00:18:53,118 Shh! 385 00:18:53,143 --> 00:18:54,693 No. I want you to kill her during her surgery, 386 00:18:54,737 --> 00:18:58,306 and make it look like an accident. Just say that you... 387 00:18:58,374 --> 00:18:59,507 remembered a scene, from Hills Have Eyes 2, 388 00:18:59,575 --> 00:19:01,209 and you were overcome with chills, like... 389 00:19:01,277 --> 00:19:03,478 I just remembered a scene from Hills Have Eyes 2 390 00:19:03,546 --> 00:19:05,447 and I just sliced open her brain. I'm such a klutz, 391 00:19:05,514 --> 00:19:06,981 and I'm never gonna watch a scary movie ever again 392 00:19:07,049 --> 00:19:09,717 before a surgery. I can't wait any longer. 393 00:19:09,785 --> 00:19:13,087 Okay? She's got to go. I want to be sipping on Mai Tais, 394 00:19:13,155 --> 00:19:15,323 and I want to be hunting down tourists within a week. 395 00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:18,126 Woman, calm down. Get ahold of yourself. 396 00:19:18,194 --> 00:19:20,628 I will not kill her during this surgery. 397 00:19:20,696 --> 00:19:23,131 If I botch this up, my reputation will be destroyed. 398 00:19:23,199 --> 00:19:26,634 Okay, this whole plan depends on Dean Munsch being dead. 399 00:19:26,702 --> 00:19:28,636 And if she's alive, 400 00:19:28,704 --> 00:19:31,806 then she gets to keep her money, and I have to go back to prison, 401 00:19:31,874 --> 00:19:35,376 where I literally have to draw porn to masturbate to, 402 00:19:35,444 --> 00:19:37,512 and I am a terrible artist. 403 00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:39,113 I'm not gonna do that again. 404 00:19:39,181 --> 00:19:40,982 No. 405 00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,984 So you kill her during the surgery, 406 00:19:43,052 --> 00:19:44,152 or else. 407 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:45,620 Or else what? 408 00:19:45,688 --> 00:19:47,522 Oh. You heard me. 409 00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:49,390 Or else. 410 00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:51,926 I know... I know, or else what? 411 00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:54,062 Or else. 412 00:20:01,237 --> 00:20:03,204 Listen. Chanels. 413 00:20:03,272 --> 00:20:05,240 I'm going to let you in on a little secret. 414 00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:08,176 I was only pretending to be cool with Brock marrying Dean Munsch. 415 00:20:08,244 --> 00:20:09,577 Really, I'm not cool with it. 416 00:20:09,645 --> 00:20:11,246 You actually didn't seem cool with it at all. 417 00:20:11,313 --> 00:20:13,014 It was very obvious. 418 00:20:13,082 --> 00:20:14,415 I'm gonna tell you something. 419 00:20:14,483 --> 00:20:16,184 I hate Dean Munsch. 420 00:20:16,252 --> 00:20:18,620 I hated her when she made us take those gross pledges 421 00:20:18,687 --> 00:20:20,188 into Kappa House that all got murdered, 422 00:20:20,256 --> 00:20:22,757 which basically prevented us from getting murdered. 423 00:20:22,825 --> 00:20:26,060 I hated her when she plucked us out of abject poverty and let us come 424 00:20:26,128 --> 00:20:27,829 to her medical school, no questions asked, 425 00:20:27,897 --> 00:20:31,599 when then led us to fulfilling our lifelong dream of becoming TV doctors... 426 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,067 I mean, the list goes on. 427 00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:36,618 I'm crushed with jealousy. 428 00:20:36,751 --> 00:20:41,228 I mean, jealousy has pinned me down and is sitting on my chest and farting. 429 00:20:41,877 --> 00:20:43,611 So what are you gonna do? 430 00:20:50,486 --> 00:20:53,488 This is a pipin' hot pumpkin spice latte. 431 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:57,225 Once Munsch's head is sawed open and her brain is exposed, 432 00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,627 I'm gonna throw this pumpkin spice latte 433 00:20:59,695 --> 00:21:01,496 into her open brain. 434 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:02,931 What, what? 435 00:21:02,998 --> 00:21:04,566 I'm gonna throw this latte into her open brain. 436 00:21:04,633 --> 00:21:06,067 I heard you, but why? 437 00:21:06,135 --> 00:21:06,968 It'll kill her! 438 00:21:07,036 --> 00:21:07,735 Will it? 439 00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:10,238 Of course it will. 440 00:21:10,306 --> 00:21:11,639 Um, I'm not... 441 00:21:11,707 --> 00:21:13,107 I'm not sure that it will. 442 00:21:13,175 --> 00:21:15,410 I mean, it might scald a layer of brain tissue, 443 00:21:15,477 --> 00:21:16,811 but I don't think it'll leave any lasting damage. 444 00:21:16,879 --> 00:21:18,313 Plus, she won't even feel it. 445 00:21:19,381 --> 00:21:20,481 So it'll maybe scald, 446 00:21:20,549 --> 00:21:22,283 like, a tiny little section of her brain 447 00:21:22,351 --> 00:21:23,318 and then it'll heal right away. 448 00:21:26,822 --> 00:21:28,156 Are you kidding me, Number Five? 449 00:21:28,223 --> 00:21:30,658 It's not "doing someone a favor" 450 00:21:30,726 --> 00:21:32,961 to pour really scalding, super-delicious 451 00:21:33,028 --> 00:21:35,463 pumpkin spice latte into their open brain. 452 00:21:35,531 --> 00:21:39,000 It is, if it's actually scalding. 453 00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:41,469 Just the fact that it's scalding means 454 00:21:41,537 --> 00:21:42,737 that any bacteria 455 00:21:42,805 --> 00:21:44,205 would be killed instantly. 456 00:21:44,273 --> 00:21:46,007 What you should do is get one 457 00:21:46,075 --> 00:21:47,575 at room temperature and leave it out 458 00:21:47,643 --> 00:21:49,344 for a couple of days until it spoils, 459 00:21:49,411 --> 00:21:50,545 and then pour it on her open brain. 460 00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,347 Okay, well, the surgery is happening 461 00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:53,748 right now, Number Five, so we don't have three days. 462 00:21:53,816 --> 00:21:56,084 And since when did you become so smart? 463 00:21:56,151 --> 00:21:58,319 Since I aced the MCATs with no help. 464 00:21:58,387 --> 00:21:59,887 Ugh, this again. 465 00:21:59,955 --> 00:22:02,590 We all aced the MCATs, Number Five. 466 00:22:02,658 --> 00:22:04,325 I just don't know why you have to kill her. 467 00:22:04,393 --> 00:22:06,127 I mean, she's gonna die soon anyway. 468 00:22:06,195 --> 00:22:07,795 I don't want her to die. 469 00:22:07,863 --> 00:22:09,797 I want her to be killed by me. 470 00:22:09,865 --> 00:22:12,533 That's why I am gonna pretend to trip, 471 00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:14,969 and pour this piping-hot PSL into her open brain. 472 00:22:15,037 --> 00:22:17,538 End of conversation. Deal with it. It's happening! 473 00:22:20,209 --> 00:22:22,343 I'm not gonna... I don't even care. 474 00:22:22,411 --> 00:22:24,111 She's not listening. 475 00:22:26,455 --> 00:22:27,455 Dean Munsch. 476 00:22:28,409 --> 00:22:29,698 Dean Munsch. 477 00:22:29,784 --> 00:22:30,557 Hm? 478 00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:33,594 I've sawed open a small section of your skull. 479 00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:35,854 Dr. Holt's starting the procedure right now. 480 00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:37,189 Can you hear me? 481 00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:39,091 Wha-What am I on? 482 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:40,592 We performed a nerve block 483 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,894 in your neck so you won't feel any pain, 484 00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:44,896 and I've given you a mild dose of clonazepam 485 00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,631 - to keep you calm. - Mmm. 486 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:47,933 Calm? 487 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,068 Okay. I feel great. 488 00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,738 I mean, you opened up my brain 489 00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,539 and exposed it to the world. 490 00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:57,909 But you know, 491 00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:00,712 - party on, whatever. - All right, now... 492 00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,315 What I'm gonna do is insert this biopsy needle 493 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,750 in through a section of the frontal lobe 494 00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:06,518 that processes music. 495 00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,687 So I'd like you to sing a song for us, if you can. 496 00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:09,721 Is there a song that you like? 497 00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,923 Yeah, "Smoke on the Water." 498 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,592 Deep Purple, "Smoke on the Water." 499 00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:15,594 - Seriously? - Well, yeah. 500 00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:19,631 I mean, they're like the granddaddies of heavy metal. 501 00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:21,700 Have you never heard that chord progression? 502 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,402 I mean, seriously. 503 00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:27,773 We all came down to Montreux 504 00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,576 On the Lake Geneva shoreline 505 00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:34,546 To make records with a mobile 506 00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,151 We didn't have much time 507 00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:41,052 Inserting biopsy needle. 508 00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:44,823 Smoke on the water 509 00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:46,758 A fire in the sky 510 00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,527 Passing through the corpus callosum. 511 00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,862 Smooooo... 512 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,597 Oop, must've hit something. 513 00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:54,366 ...oooooooke 514 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,269 On the water 515 00:23:57,336 --> 00:23:58,436 Dun dun dunh 516 00:23:58,504 --> 00:24:00,639 Dun dun duh-nuh 517 00:24:00,706 --> 00:24:04,142 Dun dun dunh, dun dunh 518 00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:06,545 - Taking the biopsy now. - Hey, dun dun dunh 519 00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,213 Dun dun duh-nuh 520 00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:09,281 Nurse Hoffel, gauze. 521 00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:12,651 Dun dun dunh, dun dunh 522 00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:17,689 Smoke on the water 523 00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:19,624 A fire in the sky... 524 00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:24,796 What the hell are you doing?! 525 00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,431 I'm sorry, I tripped. 526 00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:28,700 - No, you didn't. - I-I didn't do anything. 527 00:24:28,768 --> 00:24:30,202 - No, get out! - I'm just a patsy. 528 00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:31,636 Okay, let's sew her back up. 529 00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:33,505 Five, let's get this sample down to the lab, please. 530 00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:35,640 Cassidy, close up the hole. 531 00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,642 Okay, well, honey, 532 00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:38,977 the procedure went perfectly, 533 00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:41,012 except for Chanel throwing a latte. 534 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,113 We're gonna stitch you up, and you're gonna be 535 00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:43,281 as good as new. 536 00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:45,016 Mmm. Boning soon? 537 00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,184 That's right, sweetheart. 538 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,019 - Boning soon. - Excellent. 539 00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:58,244 Dean Munsch, I have some good news. 540 00:24:58,909 --> 00:25:00,846 I also have some bad news. 541 00:25:01,111 --> 00:25:02,945 We found no evidence of Kuru. 542 00:25:03,013 --> 00:25:05,081 - Oh! - What? 543 00:25:05,148 --> 00:25:07,349 - Wonderful! - But the good news is... 544 00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,819 - Wait, that's not the good news? - That's the bad news. 545 00:25:09,886 --> 00:25:11,787 That means that the test was inconclusive. 546 00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:13,948 And that means that it's still very likely 547 00:25:14,015 --> 00:25:15,049 that you could have Kuru. 548 00:25:15,116 --> 00:25:17,785 So what's the good news? 549 00:25:17,852 --> 00:25:21,222 The good news is that 550 00:25:21,289 --> 00:25:22,723 you'll probably still die. 551 00:25:22,791 --> 00:25:25,259 And you've been preparing for that. 552 00:25:25,327 --> 00:25:27,795 So no further preparations are needed, 553 00:25:27,862 --> 00:25:30,197 and, um, you can just, uh, keep doing what you're doing. 554 00:25:30,265 --> 00:25:32,032 You have terrible bedside manner. 555 00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:34,101 Well, there's also interesting news. 556 00:25:34,169 --> 00:25:36,203 I looked up other things that could cause the symptoms 557 00:25:36,271 --> 00:25:37,538 we all think is Kuru 558 00:25:37,606 --> 00:25:38,872 and the only thing that could be causing 559 00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:40,107 all of those symptoms... 560 00:25:40,175 --> 00:25:41,508 dehydration. 561 00:25:41,576 --> 00:25:43,544 - What? - Extreme dehydration. 562 00:25:43,612 --> 00:25:45,679 Like, you would have had to not have water for years. 563 00:25:45,747 --> 00:25:47,548 That's insane. I drink water. 564 00:25:47,616 --> 00:25:49,683 I mean, I'm constantly drinking. 565 00:25:49,751 --> 00:25:51,619 I-I... 566 00:25:51,686 --> 00:25:54,121 Oh, my God. 567 00:25:55,757 --> 00:25:57,591 I only drink scotch. 568 00:25:57,659 --> 00:25:59,093 Or vodka. 569 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:00,995 Wait, wait, wait, wait. That doesn't make any sense. 570 00:26:01,062 --> 00:26:02,363 You put water in it, don't you? 571 00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:03,797 Or drink it on the rocks? 572 00:26:03,865 --> 00:26:05,833 No. Straight up. Neat. 573 00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:07,801 Okay, but you'd have to have a little bit of water. 574 00:26:07,869 --> 00:26:10,037 I mean, you brush your teeth, 575 00:26:10,105 --> 00:26:11,338 and you rinse with... 576 00:26:11,406 --> 00:26:13,207 Scotch. 577 00:26:19,914 --> 00:26:22,383 Okay, um, what about at a restaurant? 578 00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:24,618 Would you like still or sparkling? 579 00:26:24,686 --> 00:26:28,188 Actually, I'd love two fingers of scotch, neat. 580 00:26:28,256 --> 00:26:29,790 Thank you. 581 00:26:29,858 --> 00:26:33,827 I'm sorry, so you think I am just extremely dehydrated? 582 00:26:35,430 --> 00:26:38,499 But what about the fact that I ate brains? 583 00:26:38,566 --> 00:26:42,069 Hello, Swando? It's Cathy Munsch. 584 00:26:42,137 --> 00:26:44,238 Do you remember me? We met on a plane. 585 00:26:44,306 --> 00:26:46,774 Cathy, hi. It's been a while. 586 00:26:46,841 --> 00:26:48,342 Yes, hello, Swando. 587 00:26:48,418 --> 00:26:51,853 Um, do you remember that party that you took me to? 588 00:26:51,913 --> 00:26:54,581 That was for one of your relatives, am I correct? 589 00:26:54,649 --> 00:26:57,751 Yes, that is right. Very sad. 590 00:26:57,819 --> 00:27:00,220 And we ate brains? 591 00:27:00,288 --> 00:27:01,955 Yes, that is right. 592 00:27:02,023 --> 00:27:03,691 It's a family tradition. 593 00:27:06,052 --> 00:27:08,420 I have Kuru. 594 00:27:10,298 --> 00:27:13,100 - Oh, Cathy, that's very sad. - There, there. There, there. 595 00:27:13,168 --> 00:27:15,269 We are heartbroken, too. 596 00:27:15,337 --> 00:27:17,171 Grandpa was a dear member of the family. 597 00:27:17,238 --> 00:27:18,605 And so was Lamby. 598 00:27:18,673 --> 00:27:20,874 Wait, wait, who's Lamby? 599 00:27:20,942 --> 00:27:24,078 Lamby. He was our pet lamb. He died, too. 600 00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:26,046 It's a family tradition that when a pet lamb dies, 601 00:27:26,114 --> 00:27:27,381 we eat the brains. 602 00:27:27,449 --> 00:27:31,618 Wait, are you saying that I ate lamb brains 603 00:27:31,686 --> 00:27:33,020 and not human brains? 604 00:27:33,088 --> 00:27:35,122 Of course we don't eat human brains, 605 00:27:35,190 --> 00:27:36,623 you xenophobic piece of garbage. 606 00:27:36,691 --> 00:27:40,561 I don't have Kuru! 607 00:27:40,628 --> 00:27:42,429 I'm dehydrated. 608 00:27:42,481 --> 00:27:44,415 I'm gonna be fine. 609 00:27:44,499 --> 00:27:47,301 Oh! Oh... 610 00:27:47,369 --> 00:27:50,104 Hey, everybody, Nurse Hoffel wants us all 611 00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:51,271 to go down to the basement 612 00:27:51,339 --> 00:27:53,073 for a champagne toast 613 00:27:53,141 --> 00:27:55,075 to celebrate the good news. 614 00:27:55,143 --> 00:27:57,311 How does she know? Oh, come on. 615 00:27:57,379 --> 00:27:58,846 I need some water. 616 00:27:58,913 --> 00:28:00,514 Welcome, everyone. 617 00:28:00,582 --> 00:28:02,516 Please go inside. 618 00:28:02,584 --> 00:28:04,551 Oh, champagne and cheese! 619 00:28:04,619 --> 00:28:06,086 And a honeymoon bed. 620 00:28:06,154 --> 00:28:08,255 Sweetheart, boning soon! 621 00:28:09,357 --> 00:28:11,325 Hold on a second. 622 00:28:11,393 --> 00:28:14,461 This isn't real champagne. This is sparkling apple cider! 623 00:28:14,529 --> 00:28:16,730 And this cheese is Styrofoam. 624 00:28:16,798 --> 00:28:19,466 I just wanted to make sure your last meal was 625 00:28:19,534 --> 00:28:22,102 as awful as possible. 626 00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:23,971 Wait. 627 00:28:24,038 --> 00:28:25,239 You're the Green Meanie? 628 00:28:25,306 --> 00:28:27,508 Well, I was not expecting that. 629 00:28:27,575 --> 00:28:29,910 Well, Hester, you could have given... 630 00:28:29,978 --> 00:28:31,812 - Where's Hester? - I saw her get in an Uber 631 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,614 with her suitcases a couple of hours ago. 632 00:28:33,681 --> 00:28:35,349 Pretty sure she was running away. 633 00:28:35,417 --> 00:28:37,985 - Not sure why it took her so long. - This makes no sense. 634 00:28:38,052 --> 00:28:40,087 She's way to old to be the baby in the belly. 635 00:28:40,155 --> 00:28:41,955 That didn't stop you guys accusing me. 636 00:28:42,023 --> 00:28:45,459 Dr. Cassidy is the baby in the belly, 637 00:28:45,527 --> 00:28:47,294 and the other Green Meanie. 638 00:28:47,362 --> 00:28:49,129 He totally hasn't killed someone in, like, three days, so... 639 00:28:50,198 --> 00:28:51,899 What does any of this have to do 640 00:28:51,966 --> 00:28:52,966 with Nurse Awful?! 641 00:28:53,034 --> 00:28:54,501 Because my real name isn't "Hoffel," 642 00:28:54,569 --> 00:28:56,804 you evil little trollop. 643 00:28:56,871 --> 00:28:58,071 It's Bean! 644 00:29:00,809 --> 00:29:02,509 Sort of rings a bell? 645 00:29:02,577 --> 00:29:05,746 Oh, for the love of Pete! Agatha Bean? 646 00:29:05,814 --> 00:29:07,581 Can you give us a couple more clues? 647 00:29:07,649 --> 00:29:08,749 She was your maid! 648 00:29:11,019 --> 00:29:13,821 You burned poor Agatha's face in the deep fryer. 649 00:29:13,888 --> 00:29:15,823 Oh... 650 00:29:15,890 --> 00:29:18,225 She was my sister, and you killed her. 651 00:29:18,293 --> 00:29:21,662 And you let them get away with it, Dean Munsch. 652 00:29:21,729 --> 00:29:24,465 - I am sooo sorry about that. - Can I just say... 653 00:29:24,532 --> 00:29:26,467 I feel like I'm unfairly being, you know, 654 00:29:26,534 --> 00:29:28,469 lumped in with this group here. 655 00:29:28,536 --> 00:29:30,070 Collateral damage. 656 00:29:30,138 --> 00:29:31,472 Today they pay for what they did 657 00:29:31,539 --> 00:29:34,374 to sweet Agatha. 658 00:29:34,442 --> 00:29:37,544 And Cassidy will take the fall for all of it. 659 00:29:37,612 --> 00:29:40,047 Not so fast! 660 00:29:40,114 --> 00:29:41,048 Mom? 661 00:29:41,115 --> 00:29:42,483 Zayday, you're safe! 662 00:29:42,550 --> 00:29:45,052 Oh, I'm so relieved. 663 00:29:45,119 --> 00:29:46,687 Yeah, thank you guys for all your tireless efforts 664 00:29:46,754 --> 00:29:48,155 in trying to find me. 665 00:29:48,223 --> 00:29:50,691 I was trapped in a well again. 666 00:29:50,758 --> 00:29:53,093 This ends now, Nurse Hoffel. 667 00:29:53,161 --> 00:29:55,262 Since seeing this hospital, 668 00:29:55,330 --> 00:30:00,100 and the way it loves, respects, and heals its patients, 669 00:30:00,168 --> 00:30:04,238 it's made me realize how wrong I was to hold onto my anger. 670 00:30:04,305 --> 00:30:07,241 The past is the past. 671 00:30:07,308 --> 00:30:09,042 I'm reborn! 672 00:30:13,982 --> 00:30:16,817 Put her in the cage! 673 00:30:16,885 --> 00:30:18,819 - Move it! Move it! - Come on, move it. 674 00:30:19,988 --> 00:30:23,290 No, no! Aww. 675 00:30:23,358 --> 00:30:25,792 Mom. 676 00:30:27,929 --> 00:30:29,530 I'm so sorry I let you down. 677 00:30:29,597 --> 00:30:34,535 No. No, you didn't. 678 00:30:34,602 --> 00:30:38,438 You saved me. 679 00:30:39,841 --> 00:30:42,509 You and Zayday Williams. 680 00:30:44,412 --> 00:30:46,179 Ms. Hollis, I'm so sorry 681 00:30:46,247 --> 00:30:48,715 about everything that's happened to you and your family. 682 00:30:48,783 --> 00:30:52,052 And if we make it through this, 683 00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,221 I promise this hospital will make amends 684 00:30:54,289 --> 00:30:57,157 by caring for and curing as many people as possible. 685 00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:00,093 Your father. 686 00:31:01,896 --> 00:31:05,799 He would be so proud. 687 00:31:18,246 --> 00:31:20,147 I'm gonna kill you. 688 00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,115 Well, that's gonna be a little difficult 689 00:31:22,183 --> 00:31:24,384 when you're splattered into a million pieces 690 00:31:24,452 --> 00:31:26,520 all over the neighborhood. 691 00:31:32,327 --> 00:31:35,162 This is a bigger bomb than Cloud Atlas! 692 00:31:36,965 --> 00:31:38,832 Congratulations, Cassidy. 693 00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:41,568 I think your mommy's about to get her wish. 694 00:31:41,636 --> 00:31:43,570 The only regret I have 695 00:31:43,638 --> 00:31:48,208 is that I don't get to see your face 696 00:31:48,276 --> 00:31:51,578 when you finally die, Chanel. 697 00:31:51,646 --> 00:31:55,215 Good-bye, Chanels. Have fun in hell. 698 00:31:55,283 --> 00:31:56,950 Oh, by the way, I heard 699 00:31:57,018 --> 00:31:58,852 there are no dinosaurs! 700 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,221 Oh, no. 701 00:32:02,457 --> 00:32:05,258 Oh. Okay. 702 00:32:05,326 --> 00:32:07,227 I guess we should 703 00:32:07,295 --> 00:32:08,662 take this moment, 704 00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:11,898 perhaps, to let go of some old grudges. 705 00:32:11,966 --> 00:32:14,234 Screw that, I am going out 706 00:32:14,302 --> 00:32:15,335 guns blazing! 707 00:32:15,403 --> 00:32:16,603 Wait! Wait a minute! 708 00:32:16,671 --> 00:32:19,039 - Wha... Denise! - What? 709 00:32:19,107 --> 00:32:22,843 You're alive, that means my cryo-chamber worked! 710 00:32:22,910 --> 00:32:24,778 Damn right it did, crunchy Munsch. 711 00:32:24,846 --> 00:32:27,781 The low temperature allowed my heart to beat slowly enough 712 00:32:27,849 --> 00:32:29,182 to regain its strength or something. 713 00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:30,450 Anyway, 714 00:32:30,518 --> 00:32:32,786 I'm back, bitches! All right. 715 00:32:32,854 --> 00:32:34,221 What did I miss? 716 00:32:34,288 --> 00:32:36,223 Ooh! How's Hillary working out? 717 00:32:36,290 --> 00:32:38,792 I mean, the first female president, 718 00:32:38,860 --> 00:32:40,293 and I missed the moment! 719 00:32:40,361 --> 00:32:42,729 - Damn it! - Can you just stop talking 720 00:32:42,797 --> 00:32:44,064 and defuse the bomb? 721 00:32:47,135 --> 00:32:49,102 Damn, that look complicated. 722 00:32:49,170 --> 00:32:52,239 They didn't show us how to defuse no bombs in Quantico. 723 00:32:52,306 --> 00:32:53,907 But, but, but, but, but 724 00:32:53,975 --> 00:32:55,909 fortunate for all of us, 725 00:32:55,977 --> 00:32:58,645 I did watch the hit TV show Quantico. 726 00:32:58,713 --> 00:33:02,649 And I saw Agent Alex Parrish defuse one. 727 00:33:02,717 --> 00:33:04,051 All right. 728 00:33:04,118 --> 00:33:08,388 If my memory serves me correctly... 729 00:33:08,456 --> 00:33:10,791 Damn, I don't have my glasses. Okay, but I think 730 00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:15,562 if I pull that wire, either... 731 00:33:15,630 --> 00:33:17,664 the countdown will stop, 732 00:33:17,732 --> 00:33:20,167 or we'll all be blown to smithereens. 733 00:33:24,005 --> 00:33:27,240 Ain't but one damn way to find out. 734 00:33:27,308 --> 00:33:29,076 I do have teeth in my vagina! 735 00:33:29,143 --> 00:33:30,844 I knew it. 736 00:33:30,912 --> 00:33:34,514 I didn't want to die a liar. 737 00:33:34,582 --> 00:33:36,583 They are very sharp. 738 00:33:36,651 --> 00:33:38,251 And I don't know how they got there. 739 00:33:38,319 --> 00:33:39,820 Shut up! 740 00:33:49,731 --> 00:33:51,565 Oh! 741 00:33:51,632 --> 00:33:52,899 Yes! 742 00:33:52,967 --> 00:33:54,701 Oh, Denise! 743 00:33:55,050 --> 00:33:56,850 Denise Hemphill. 744 00:33:57,135 --> 00:33:58,402 Ha! 745 00:34:03,478 --> 00:34:04,745 Let's get her! 746 00:34:45,486 --> 00:34:47,087 Oh, God. 747 00:34:52,126 --> 00:34:54,461 You sacrificed yourself for me. 748 00:34:56,664 --> 00:34:58,698 You know, pal, could've just pushed her out of the way 749 00:34:58,766 --> 00:35:00,233 to save her life. 750 00:35:00,301 --> 00:35:02,269 Yeah. 751 00:35:02,336 --> 00:35:05,138 Jumping in front of a machete is, like, option number three 752 00:35:05,206 --> 00:35:07,808 in terms of the ways you could've kept Chanel 3 alive. 753 00:35:07,875 --> 00:35:09,142 Shut up. 754 00:35:09,210 --> 00:35:11,878 This was his redemption. 755 00:35:11,946 --> 00:35:13,180 Now he can be forgiven 756 00:35:13,247 --> 00:35:15,415 for killing all those people. 757 00:35:15,483 --> 00:35:16,883 Uh, I don't think it works that way. 758 00:35:16,951 --> 00:35:18,652 Shut up! 759 00:35:20,655 --> 00:35:22,222 He's trying to speak. 760 00:35:22,290 --> 00:35:24,191 Now that you're dying, 761 00:35:24,258 --> 00:35:26,693 do you believe that you were always alive? 762 00:35:26,761 --> 00:35:29,529 I knew I was alive... 763 00:35:29,597 --> 00:35:32,699 because of how good it felt to love you. 764 00:35:34,135 --> 00:35:35,936 Uh, say what now? 765 00:35:36,003 --> 00:35:37,270 She's getting away. Go! 766 00:35:45,313 --> 00:35:47,080 There she is! 767 00:35:48,850 --> 00:35:50,217 She getting away! 768 00:35:54,222 --> 00:35:56,389 Oh! Careful, quicksand. 769 00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:02,929 Somebody! Drop me a rope! 770 00:36:04,799 --> 00:36:08,301 Come on! This is a horrible way to die. 771 00:36:08,369 --> 00:36:10,036 Look, in my experience, 772 00:36:10,104 --> 00:36:11,238 costumed serial killers 773 00:36:11,305 --> 00:36:13,073 are never adequately punished by the law. 774 00:36:13,140 --> 00:36:15,308 Sometimes vigilante justice is the only way. 775 00:36:15,376 --> 00:36:17,310 I'm with Chanel. She killed my boyfriend. 776 00:36:17,378 --> 00:36:19,980 Oh, so I suppose no one cares 777 00:36:20,047 --> 00:36:21,314 that your boyfriend murdered my boyfriend?! 778 00:36:21,382 --> 00:36:23,083 No! No one does. 779 00:36:23,150 --> 00:36:26,168 All right. We'll take a vote. 780 00:36:26,193 --> 00:36:29,048 All in favor of saving Nurse Hoffel, raise your hand. 781 00:36:31,563 --> 00:36:35,366 All in favor of a terrible swamp death, raise your hand. 782 00:36:35,391 --> 00:36:36,658 Boom. 783 00:36:39,166 --> 00:36:40,934 I... Oh... 784 00:36:48,576 --> 00:36:51,344 Oh! Damn my conscience! 785 00:36:52,446 --> 00:36:54,514 Here. 786 00:36:54,582 --> 00:36:56,149 - Here. - What... 787 00:36:56,217 --> 00:36:58,184 Okay, hold on! 788 00:36:58,252 --> 00:36:59,219 Help me. Hold... 789 00:36:59,287 --> 00:37:00,153 Wait, wait. Okay. 790 00:37:00,221 --> 00:37:01,554 - Hold on. Oh... - Oh! 791 00:37:33,150 --> 00:37:35,844 And just like that, another group of crazy serial killers 792 00:37:35,869 --> 00:37:37,603 failed in their mission to destroy me. 793 00:37:37,671 --> 00:37:40,373 No! No! No! No! 794 00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,376 I know the last girl standing in these things is usually 795 00:37:43,443 --> 00:37:45,411 some sweet, virginal heroine. But in my experience, 796 00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:48,347 survival is all about being skinny, pretty, fashionable 797 00:37:48,415 --> 00:37:50,883 and ruthless. I don't know why those things matter, 798 00:37:50,951 --> 00:37:52,885 but that's who I am and I'm still alive. 799 00:37:52,953 --> 00:37:55,154 So, ipso facto, that must be why. 800 00:37:57,791 --> 00:37:59,558 Not being terrorized by a serial killer 801 00:37:59,626 --> 00:38:03,262 did wonders for the hospital. 802 00:38:03,330 --> 00:38:04,930 Which made Chanel 5 supes happy. 803 00:38:04,998 --> 00:38:07,333 Now, I know all the doctors you've seen up to this point 804 00:38:07,401 --> 00:38:10,036 think you have MS, but looking at your family history, 805 00:38:10,103 --> 00:38:12,204 I think it's possible you could have a hidden vascular issue, 806 00:38:12,272 --> 00:38:14,373 so I'm gonna order an MRI. 807 00:38:14,441 --> 00:38:16,309 Turns out she's some kind of idiot savant 808 00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:17,843 when it comes to medical stuf. 809 00:38:17,911 --> 00:38:20,313 She's still intolerable and single, obvi, 810 00:38:20,380 --> 00:38:21,747 but at least she's doing some good in the world. 811 00:38:21,815 --> 00:38:23,182 And now that Brock and Dean Munsch 812 00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:24,350 left the hospital, she and Zayday 813 00:38:24,418 --> 00:38:26,085 are kind of top dogs there. 814 00:38:26,153 --> 00:38:28,087 If we form an alliance with St. Mary's Hospital 815 00:38:28,155 --> 00:38:30,222 and KHF Hospital, we can coordinate to keep prices low. 816 00:38:30,290 --> 00:38:32,158 It might cut into our profits, but we're here 817 00:38:32,225 --> 00:38:33,759 to cure people, not make money, right? 818 00:38:33,827 --> 00:38:36,062 Well, okay. 819 00:38:36,129 --> 00:38:39,165 Oh, Dean Munsch and Dr. Hot didn't leave together, though. 820 00:38:39,232 --> 00:38:41,367 Major drama went down the day Nurse Hoffel 821 00:38:41,435 --> 00:38:43,035 became the swamp's final victim. 822 00:38:43,103 --> 00:38:44,403 We need to talk. 823 00:38:44,471 --> 00:38:47,606 Mm. Oh, my beautiful husband. 824 00:38:47,674 --> 00:38:50,309 I feel like I have been given the greatest second chance 825 00:38:50,377 --> 00:38:53,579 since they cast Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. 826 00:38:53,647 --> 00:38:55,981 Now you get to watch me grow old and I get to see 827 00:38:56,049 --> 00:38:58,250 if you'll actually grow old or if you're a vampire 828 00:38:58,318 --> 00:39:00,419 who never ages, like everyone says. 829 00:39:00,487 --> 00:39:01,554 Does everybody really say that? 830 00:39:01,621 --> 00:39:03,255 Yeah. But... 831 00:39:03,323 --> 00:39:06,058 it doesn't matter, because what matters 832 00:39:06,126 --> 00:39:09,829 is that this hospital gets to be what it claims to be: 833 00:39:09,896 --> 00:39:12,765 a place where the incurable are cured. 834 00:39:12,833 --> 00:39:14,233 I'll have no problem 835 00:39:14,301 --> 00:39:16,035 finding somebody to take it off my hands. 836 00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:19,271 Well, yeah, that's a good idea. You should travel the world 837 00:39:19,339 --> 00:39:21,407 or whatever, and I will stay here 838 00:39:21,475 --> 00:39:23,142 and I will hold down the fort for you, 839 00:39:23,210 --> 00:39:24,643 and I will miss you, my darling. 840 00:39:24,711 --> 00:39:28,447 Don't be silly, hubby o' mine. 841 00:39:28,515 --> 00:39:31,384 You see, I am going to the bank right now 842 00:39:31,451 --> 00:39:33,252 and I'm pulling out all my money. 843 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,321 Then you and I are going to buy 844 00:39:35,389 --> 00:39:37,556 a chalet in Aspen, 845 00:39:37,624 --> 00:39:40,393 and I am gonna hang out a shingle 846 00:39:40,460 --> 00:39:43,729 and become the premier sex therapist for women over 50 847 00:39:43,797 --> 00:39:46,065 and you, my love, 848 00:39:46,133 --> 00:39:48,167 are gonna be the orthopedic surgeon 849 00:39:48,235 --> 00:39:50,302 to the stars. 850 00:39:50,370 --> 00:39:51,337 Love you. 851 00:39:51,405 --> 00:39:53,339 Love you. 852 00:39:54,608 --> 00:39:56,308 I'm sorry, is there a problem? 853 00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:58,144 This is rather awkward, but... 854 00:39:58,211 --> 00:40:00,346 your accounts are empty, Dean Munsch. 855 00:40:00,414 --> 00:40:01,347 Excuse me? 856 00:40:01,415 --> 00:40:03,115 You came in earlier today 857 00:40:03,183 --> 00:40:05,851 - and withdrew all of your funds. - What?! 858 00:40:09,756 --> 00:40:11,323 It's not a great picture. 859 00:40:15,962 --> 00:40:19,398 Yup, Hester stole all of Dean Munsch's money. 860 00:40:19,466 --> 00:40:22,802 And her man. Though no one knows where they ran off to. 861 00:40:25,806 --> 00:40:29,241 Will you be having lunch now, sir, or later? 862 00:40:29,309 --> 00:40:31,410 I don't know. What do you think, sweetie? 863 00:40:31,478 --> 00:40:33,412 Have the guests arrived? 864 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,881 Their boat hit the reef about half an hour ago. 865 00:40:35,949 --> 00:40:39,351 The strongest ones should be swimming ashore at any moment. 866 00:40:41,955 --> 00:40:45,424 Let's eat now and give 'em a chance to get their energy back. 867 00:40:45,492 --> 00:40:47,193 Thank you, sir. It's no fun 868 00:40:47,260 --> 00:40:48,594 hunting them when they're all worn out. 869 00:40:48,662 --> 00:40:50,229 Ugh. I agree. 870 00:40:50,297 --> 00:40:52,765 It's like we have the same brain. 871 00:40:57,437 --> 00:41:00,072 Dean Munsch didn't take long to get back on her feet, though. 872 00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:02,441 She sold the hospital for a fortune and went to Aspen 873 00:41:02,509 --> 00:41:04,610 to help old ladies remember how to have orgasms again. 874 00:41:06,413 --> 00:41:08,414 Meredith. Come on in. 875 00:41:08,482 --> 00:41:10,549 She's also boning half the U.S. Ski Team. 876 00:41:10,617 --> 00:41:13,419 And as for me, well, destiny called... 877 00:41:13,487 --> 00:41:15,788 well, destiny DM'd me, because it's 2016 878 00:41:15,856 --> 00:41:17,356 and no one actually calls anymore. 879 00:41:19,693 --> 00:41:21,627 It's Lovin' the C, 880 00:41:21,695 --> 00:41:24,630 with your host, Dr. Chanel Oberlin! 881 00:41:27,634 --> 00:41:30,803 Yup, I'm a TV doctor, just like I said I would be. 882 00:41:30,871 --> 00:41:32,605 Because I get what I deserve, 883 00:41:32,672 --> 00:41:36,308 and I deserve everything I get. 884 00:41:36,376 --> 00:41:38,310 Chanel #3 is my Gayle King. 885 00:41:38,378 --> 00:41:41,247 She executive produces the show, whatever that means. 886 00:41:41,314 --> 00:41:44,783 Hi, everybody, and welcome to Lovin' the C. 887 00:41:44,851 --> 00:41:47,253 I'm the C, Dr. Chanel Oberlin, 888 00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,256 and today on the show we'll be discussing death panels. 889 00:41:50,323 --> 00:41:52,258 How can we make them a real thing 890 00:41:52,325 --> 00:41:55,261 for rich people who want their inheritances sooner? 891 00:41:57,264 --> 00:41:59,598 If I may be obliged 892 00:41:59,666 --> 00:42:01,667 a personal moment... 893 00:42:01,735 --> 00:42:04,436 I've learned a lot in the past few years, 894 00:42:04,504 --> 00:42:06,472 and most importantly of all, 895 00:42:06,540 --> 00:42:09,842 I've learned that you just have to be yourself. 896 00:42:09,910 --> 00:42:13,012 And that consequences and responsibility 897 00:42:13,079 --> 00:42:16,649 are burdens for people who choose to feel shame. 898 00:42:16,716 --> 00:42:18,918 So, you be you, America. 899 00:42:18,985 --> 00:42:22,321 Because Chanel Oberlin is gonna keep being me. 900 00:42:31,514 --> 00:42:34,116 _ 901 00:42:35,305 --> 00:42:41,277 Professional Translation Services www.gts-translation.com 902 00:42:41,327 --> 00:42:45,877 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 64127

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