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1
00:00:01,461 --> 00:00:03,733
Previously on Scream Queens...
2
00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:06,875
Looks like we're gonna need to
call a Green Meanie summit.
3
00:00:06,953 --> 00:00:09,709
We are here to review the
past and future kills.
4
00:00:11,093 --> 00:00:14,228
Chanel Oberlin fried
my sister's face off.
5
00:00:14,296 --> 00:00:16,831
Help me!
6
00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:18,833
I'm Chanel 3, Cassidy's girlfriend.
7
00:00:18,901 --> 00:00:20,968
She is going to have to die.
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00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:22,904
We can put Denise in the freezer
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00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:24,806
until they find a cure
for being electrocuted.
10
00:00:26,642 --> 00:00:28,846
You, Dr. Brock
Holt, are a killer.
11
00:00:29,268 --> 00:00:32,880
I have a disease called Kuru. It
is terminal. I'll be dead in a month.
12
00:00:32,948 --> 00:00:34,582
You guys are gonna kill me, aren't you?
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14
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Chanel?
15
00:02:10,746 --> 00:02:12,013
Holy crap!
16
00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:17,285
I'm sorry.
17
00:02:17,352 --> 00:02:19,166
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
18
00:02:19,191 --> 00:02:20,625
Thanks for not killing me.
19
00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:21,926
I don't want this anymore.
20
00:02:21,994 --> 00:02:23,094
What about your mom, though?
21
00:02:23,162 --> 00:02:24,962
I'm gonna have to kill her.
22
00:02:25,030 --> 00:02:26,631
Doesn't that seem a little extreme?
23
00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:27,932
How about you just talk to her?
24
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,100
Oh, yeah.
25
00:02:29,168 --> 00:02:30,802
That could work, too.
26
00:02:30,869 --> 00:02:32,603
You not killing me and
standing up to your mom
27
00:02:32,671 --> 00:02:35,106
is totally turning me on.
28
00:02:35,174 --> 00:02:36,674
How 'bout I go home and
take a quick whore's bath
29
00:02:36,742 --> 00:02:37,909
and you meet me in a half an hour?
30
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Mm...
31
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mm-Kay.
32
00:02:40,646 --> 00:02:41,746
I'll see you then.
33
00:02:46,185 --> 00:02:47,251
Oh, my gosh.
34
00:02:47,319 --> 00:02:49,253
These Chanels are impossible to kill.
35
00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:50,955
It's almost like their narcissism
36
00:02:51,023 --> 00:02:52,090
and stupidity create some kind
37
00:02:52,157 --> 00:02:53,357
of a force field around them.
38
00:02:53,425 --> 00:02:55,126
We have to think bigger.
39
00:02:55,194 --> 00:02:56,360
And we've got to make that happen, soon.
40
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:57,462
I'm out, okay?
41
00:02:57,529 --> 00:02:58,696
I'm-I'm-I'm done.
42
00:02:58,764 --> 00:02:59,931
This is all you, now.
43
00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:02,900
Except for Chanel 3.
44
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,135
If you touch her,
45
00:03:04,203 --> 00:03:05,570
then I'll gladly come out of retirement
46
00:03:05,637 --> 00:03:06,938
to end you.
47
00:03:07,005 --> 00:03:07,972
Listen up, pretty boy.
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00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:10,775
If you're not part of the solution,
49
00:03:10,843 --> 00:03:12,510
then as far as I'm concerned,
50
00:03:12,578 --> 00:03:15,947
you are just another problem.
51
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:30,495
Call E.C.C.
Nurse Hoffel, call E.C.C.
52
00:03:30,562 --> 00:03:32,296
We still on for dinner tonight?
53
00:03:32,364 --> 00:03:33,364
I'm a little bit confused as to
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00:03:33,432 --> 00:03:34,632
whether we're still dating.
55
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:36,200
I mean, I did try to strangle you
56
00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:37,368
and I would totally understand
57
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if you thought that was sort of,
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00:03:38,437 --> 00:03:39,637
uh, crossing the line.
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00:03:39,705 --> 00:03:41,172
It was, don't get me wrong.
60
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,075
But there comes a point in
every long-term relationship
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00:03:44,143 --> 00:03:45,643
where you feel like you just want to...
62
00:03:45,711 --> 00:03:47,378
strangle your partner!
63
00:03:47,446 --> 00:03:48,679
So, the fact that you actually did,
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00:03:48,747 --> 00:03:50,148
means we are communicating
those feelings
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instead of burying them.
66
00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:52,350
Plus, I took the fact
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00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:53,851
that you helped me, Number
Three and Number Five
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00:03:53,919 --> 00:03:56,087
cheat on the MCATs as your
way of truly apologizing.
69
00:03:56,155 --> 00:03:57,388
You didn't help me cheat!
70
00:03:57,456 --> 00:03:58,823
Nobody helped me cheat!
71
00:03:58,891 --> 00:04:00,658
I almost got a perfect
score all by myself.
72
00:04:00,726 --> 00:04:02,827
We all almost got
perfect scores, Number Five.
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00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:04,162
But I didn't cheat!
74
00:04:04,229 --> 00:04:06,597
Nobody cares!
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00:04:06,665 --> 00:04:07,965
Anyway,
76
00:04:08,033 --> 00:04:09,167
we still on for dinner?
77
00:04:09,234 --> 00:04:10,168
Sure.
78
00:04:13,338 --> 00:04:14,305
Why can't you see the opportunity
79
00:04:14,373 --> 00:04:15,840
right in front of you?
80
00:04:15,908 --> 00:04:17,241
The only thing I see
right in front of me
81
00:04:17,309 --> 00:04:18,809
is a bedsore that's
progressing quite nicely,
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00:04:18,877 --> 00:04:19,877
Mr. Locklear.
83
00:04:19,945 --> 00:04:21,412
All right, I want to keep you on, uh,
84
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,314
silver sulfadiazine and nitrofurazone
85
00:04:23,382 --> 00:04:25,483
for a few more days, before we attempt
86
00:04:25,551 --> 00:04:26,817
another debridement, huh?
87
00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:28,886
Dean Munsch is dying.
88
00:04:28,954 --> 00:04:30,054
And soon.
89
00:04:30,122 --> 00:04:31,489
And her fortune is going into a trust
90
00:04:31,557 --> 00:04:32,990
that's being drafted on the premise
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00:04:33,058 --> 00:04:34,025
that she doesn't have a next of kin.
92
00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,059
Which she doesn't,
93
00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:36,761
but she will, when you convince her
94
00:04:36,828 --> 00:04:38,196
- to marry you.
- What?
95
00:04:38,263 --> 00:04:40,932
Just... think about it.
96
00:04:40,999 --> 00:04:42,233
You two get hitched,
97
00:04:42,301 --> 00:04:43,601
she kicks it from the Kuru
98
00:04:43,669 --> 00:04:44,902
and bam!
99
00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:47,605
You're the fortune's trustee.
100
00:04:47,673 --> 00:04:49,073
If I'm in charge of the trust...
101
00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:50,274
We'll rob it from them blind.
102
00:04:50,342 --> 00:04:51,709
We'll run away together.
103
00:04:51,777 --> 00:04:53,945
Far, far away, where no one can find us.
104
00:04:54,012 --> 00:04:55,746
We'll fix up a boat on the beach,
105
00:04:55,814 --> 00:04:57,048
just like the last scene in Shawshank.
106
00:04:57,115 --> 00:04:58,416
No, I don't really like boats.
107
00:04:58,483 --> 00:05:00,051
Listen, we can buy Blood Island.
108
00:05:00,118 --> 00:05:01,552
We'll live there together.
109
00:05:01,620 --> 00:05:03,087
Just two murderers with no one to murder
110
00:05:03,155 --> 00:05:04,722
except for each other,
but we never will,
111
00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:06,057
because we love and trust each other.
112
00:05:06,124 --> 00:05:07,725
And believe me, Brock,
113
00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:10,728
no one understands you like I do.
114
00:05:10,796 --> 00:05:12,863
I will always be there for you.
115
00:05:12,931 --> 00:05:14,265
And I will always...
116
00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,867
let you attack my crack.
117
00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:19,870
Even when I've had a really large meal
118
00:05:19,938 --> 00:05:22,707
and I'm unsure of what you
might encounter up there.
119
00:05:22,774 --> 00:05:24,075
Now you lost me.
120
00:05:24,142 --> 00:05:25,109
We can buy
121
00:05:25,177 --> 00:05:26,444
Blood Island and we can fill it
122
00:05:26,511 --> 00:05:27,945
with boatloads of tourists.
123
00:05:28,013 --> 00:05:29,280
Then we'll knock 'em off one by one
124
00:05:29,348 --> 00:05:31,082
Most Dangerous Game style.
125
00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:34,919
Extreme tourism is quite hot right now.
126
00:05:34,987 --> 00:05:36,387
See?
127
00:05:36,455 --> 00:05:37,788
Yeah, but this plan is too elaborate.
128
00:05:37,856 --> 00:05:38,923
If you stop and think about it...
129
00:05:38,991 --> 00:05:40,391
Don't think about it.
130
00:05:40,459 --> 00:05:41,759
This plan
131
00:05:41,827 --> 00:05:43,261
seems impossible
132
00:05:43,328 --> 00:05:44,662
until it's possible.
133
00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:46,097
In fact,
134
00:05:46,164 --> 00:05:47,565
it's inevitable.
135
00:05:52,204 --> 00:05:53,671
Okay. All right.
136
00:05:55,073 --> 00:05:56,507
I'll, uh,
137
00:05:56,575 --> 00:05:58,009
I'll think about it.
138
00:06:09,454 --> 00:06:10,921
Moebius?
139
00:06:10,989 --> 00:06:13,824
It's Daria. Daria Janssen.
140
00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:16,327
Whatever. What are you doing out here?
141
00:06:16,395 --> 00:06:17,895
Well,
142
00:06:17,963 --> 00:06:19,897
I love fresh tomatoes.
143
00:06:19,965 --> 00:06:21,932
I checked the pH of the swamp,
144
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,934
and concluded that the rich humus
145
00:06:24,002 --> 00:06:25,836
that settles at the bottom
146
00:06:25,904 --> 00:06:28,039
would make a fantastic
147
00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:30,274
nitrogen-rich fertilizer. The...
148
00:06:30,342 --> 00:06:32,376
tomatoes appear to be glowing slightly.
149
00:06:33,537 --> 00:06:34,845
Don't light that!
150
00:06:34,913 --> 00:06:36,947
This stuff is highly flammable.
151
00:06:37,015 --> 00:06:38,316
One spark and
152
00:06:38,383 --> 00:06:41,018
that much fertilizer would kill us both.
153
00:06:41,086 --> 00:06:41,819
Duh.
154
00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:45,022
Duh.
155
00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:52,366
_
156
00:06:53,689 --> 00:06:55,556
_
157
00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:04,792
Oh, my God, oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God.
158
00:07:04,817 --> 00:07:07,128
What? Okay, get this.
159
00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,121
Last night, I spent the night at Dr.
Hot's house
160
00:07:09,189 --> 00:07:10,622
and as soon as he fell
asleep, I snatched his phone
161
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,357
and started going through
it for hours and hours.
162
00:07:12,425 --> 00:07:13,892
Wait. Are you supposed to do that?
163
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,128
Hello? He's my boyfriend.
164
00:07:16,196 --> 00:07:18,130
He trusts me enough not
to do that kind of thing,
165
00:07:18,198 --> 00:07:20,399
which makes it really easy for
me to do that kind of thing.
166
00:07:20,466 --> 00:07:21,700
Your total ignorance about
how relationships work
167
00:07:21,768 --> 00:07:23,068
is probably the reason why
168
00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:24,102
all your boyfriends get murdered.
169
00:07:24,170 --> 00:07:26,071
What? That has nothing
170
00:07:26,139 --> 00:07:28,941
to do with my boyfriends being murdered.
171
00:07:29,008 --> 00:07:30,442
Yeah. Keep telling yourself that.
172
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:31,543
Anyway,
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00:07:31,611 --> 00:07:33,645
I went through his browser history
174
00:07:33,713 --> 00:07:36,114
and he was googling...
175
00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:38,217
cheap engagement rings.
176
00:07:38,284 --> 00:07:39,685
"How quickly
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00:07:39,752 --> 00:07:41,119
can I get a cheap engagement ring?"
178
00:07:41,187 --> 00:07:42,521
I mean, do you know what this means?
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Oh, my God.
180
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,657
Brock is gonna propose to me!
181
00:07:49,329 --> 00:07:50,762
Oh, my God!
182
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:52,331
Shut up!
183
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,167
Dr. Holt is asking everyone
184
00:07:55,235 --> 00:07:57,269
to gather in Dean Munsch's room.
185
00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:16,521
Chanel, I'm glad you're here.
186
00:08:16,589 --> 00:08:18,023
I'm glad everyone's here.
187
00:08:20,827 --> 00:08:22,127
I know this sounds crazy, but...
188
00:08:23,162 --> 00:08:24,129
I'm just gonna do it,
189
00:08:24,197 --> 00:08:25,297
'cause life is too short.
190
00:08:25,365 --> 00:08:26,098
It is!
191
00:08:31,104 --> 00:08:32,337
Will you marry me?
192
00:08:36,175 --> 00:08:37,142
Cathy?
193
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:41,256
Oh...
194
00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:43,081
- What?!
- I just...
195
00:08:43,149 --> 00:08:45,751
I wasn't expecting this to happen.
196
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,719
Nobody was expecting this to happen!
197
00:08:47,787 --> 00:08:50,088
Cathy, let's enjoy the
last few days of your life
198
00:08:50,156 --> 00:08:51,390
the way you should.
199
00:08:52,458 --> 00:08:54,192
You and I, as man and wife.
200
00:08:54,260 --> 00:08:55,814
Pounding?
201
00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:57,829
Yes, darling. Pounding.
202
00:08:59,832 --> 00:09:01,233
Yes.
203
00:09:01,301 --> 00:09:02,034
Of course.
204
00:09:02,101 --> 00:09:04,036
A thousand times, yes.
205
00:09:07,206 --> 00:09:08,540
Oh...
206
00:09:25,124 --> 00:09:26,825
Chanel?
207
00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:31,863
Oh, Chanel,
208
00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:34,599
I'm sorry. I should have told
you I was gonna do that.
209
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,902
Propose to my mortal enemy?
210
00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:38,070
I think telling me about it
211
00:09:38,137 --> 00:09:40,038
was the least you could have done.
212
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:42,407
What is happening?
213
00:09:42,475 --> 00:09:44,609
Oh, Dean Munsch is gonna die in a month,
214
00:09:44,677 --> 00:09:46,111
tops. I mean,
215
00:09:46,179 --> 00:09:47,212
think of my proposal as sort of...
216
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,947
end-of-life care.
217
00:09:49,015 --> 00:09:51,316
Like a romantic hospice.
218
00:09:51,384 --> 00:09:54,419
Like, a Make-A-Wish
Foundation kind of thing?
219
00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:55,821
Yes, exactly.
220
00:09:55,888 --> 00:09:57,456
Like a Make-A-Wish Foundation thing.
221
00:09:57,523 --> 00:10:00,125
It's not fair!
222
00:10:00,193 --> 00:10:03,228
I mean, I'm dying, too.
223
00:10:03,296 --> 00:10:06,198
We all are, in a way.
224
00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:08,834
I mean, I want a hot doctor boyfriend.
225
00:10:10,136 --> 00:10:12,237
What does having a boyfriend
even mean to you?
226
00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:14,272
You're clearly not into sex.
227
00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:16,241
But what you are into
228
00:10:16,309 --> 00:10:21,880
is having someone to post adorable
relationship selfies with.
229
00:10:23,182 --> 00:10:25,984
My romantic social media footprint
is very important to me.
230
00:10:26,052 --> 00:10:28,687
I know it is. And that's why we're
gonna meet up three times a day,
231
00:10:28,755 --> 00:10:30,188
and we're gonna take cute-as-button
232
00:10:30,256 --> 00:10:33,492
pictures and-and you can
put the dog filter on,
233
00:10:33,559 --> 00:10:36,728
with the ears and the big tongue and
write silly little things on it.
234
00:10:36,796 --> 00:10:38,163
And you post it just like
we're a real couple.
235
00:10:38,231 --> 00:10:41,800
Because we are a real couple.
236
00:10:41,868 --> 00:10:43,869
- Okay.
- Okay?
237
00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,904
And then, maybe...
238
00:10:45,972 --> 00:10:48,240
just maybe...
239
00:10:48,307 --> 00:10:50,308
when Dean Munsch dies,
240
00:10:50,376 --> 00:10:54,713
I'll rip that ring off her cold,
dead finger and give it to you.
241
00:11:03,222 --> 00:11:05,023
Mom.
242
00:11:05,091 --> 00:11:08,293
As you can tell from Chanel
#3 still being alive...
243
00:11:09,962 --> 00:11:11,196
I have decided
244
00:11:11,264 --> 00:11:14,366
that I don't want to kill anymore.
245
00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:16,134
Everyone thinks Grace's
creepy dad was the killer.
246
00:11:16,202 --> 00:11:20,138
If no one else gets murdered from now
on, you basically got away with it all.
247
00:11:20,206 --> 00:11:24,209
I love you so much, Mom.
248
00:11:24,277 --> 00:11:27,145
I do.
249
00:11:27,213 --> 00:11:29,514
But I'm a healer.
250
00:11:29,582 --> 00:11:31,950
All this killing and revenge stuff,
251
00:11:32,018 --> 00:11:34,953
it's... it's you.
252
00:11:35,021 --> 00:11:37,556
It's not me.
253
00:11:43,262 --> 00:11:45,797
This ends when the
hospital is shut down.
254
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:49,534
Don't try and get in my way.
255
00:11:49,602 --> 00:11:50,802
How can you talk to your son like that?
256
00:11:53,106 --> 00:11:54,539
He's no son of mine.
257
00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:57,976
He's all yours, Jezebel.
258
00:12:05,151 --> 00:12:06,785
How do you feel about
what just happened?
259
00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,920
I know I'm right.
260
00:12:08,988 --> 00:12:10,922
Your love has shown me that.
261
00:12:12,522 --> 00:12:14,289
But we have a bigger problem.
262
00:12:14,694 --> 00:12:17,295
Hoffel.
263
00:12:17,363 --> 00:12:20,232
She's the other Green Meanie.
264
00:12:20,299 --> 00:12:22,701
And I think she's got
something big planned.
265
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,317
Did you get him?
266
00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:58,886
Of course.
267
00:13:00,021 --> 00:13:02,689
Oh! Hey.
268
00:13:02,757 --> 00:13:04,258
Hello!
269
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,567
Wow.
270
00:13:06,622 --> 00:13:10,792
What? Is that Supreme Court
Justice Anthony Kennedy?
271
00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:12,327
I'm sure it's just a lookalike.
272
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:14,129
Yeah.
273
00:13:14,197 --> 00:13:16,264
But how can we be sure?
274
00:13:16,332 --> 00:13:18,100
I was told
the participants would like
275
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:19,468
to get this done quickly.
276
00:13:19,535 --> 00:13:22,104
Yes. Um, I don't have much time left.
277
00:13:25,041 --> 00:13:27,209
Understood.
278
00:13:27,276 --> 00:13:28,510
Sign here, please.
279
00:13:28,578 --> 00:13:30,879
Oh. Okay. Thank you.
280
00:13:30,947 --> 00:13:33,115
Um, I need a pen... Oh.
281
00:13:33,182 --> 00:13:35,150
Thank you, Hester.
282
00:13:38,354 --> 00:13:39,488
Sweet of you. Darling?
283
00:13:39,555 --> 00:13:40,555
What?
284
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,357
Hmm. Oh.
285
00:13:44,393 --> 00:13:49,698
Okay. Assuming this gets notarized,
I pronounce you husband and wife.
286
00:13:53,069 --> 00:13:56,171
Ah!
287
00:14:01,410 --> 00:14:02,811
Hi.
288
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:05,213
Sorry. I know you didn't
want to be disturbed.
289
00:14:05,281 --> 00:14:07,282
It's okay, Chanel #5.
290
00:14:07,350 --> 00:14:09,217
Considering that this is the
closest you will ever get
291
00:14:09,285 --> 00:14:12,187
to being married, I'm
gonna make an exception.
292
00:14:12,255 --> 00:14:15,123
Thank you. So, I have
done some research,
293
00:14:15,191 --> 00:14:18,059
and looked over your tests,
294
00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:20,562
and I don't think you have Kuru.
And if you do,
295
00:14:20,630 --> 00:14:22,531
you're probably only in the
second clinical stage...
296
00:14:22,598 --> 00:14:25,066
the sedentary stage... and
symptoms of that stage
297
00:14:25,134 --> 00:14:27,269
include not being able
to walk without support.
298
00:14:27,336 --> 00:14:28,870
Which I have. She has that.
299
00:14:28,938 --> 00:14:30,772
- Tremors. -
- See?
300
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:33,175
Emotional instability, depression.
301
00:14:33,242 --> 00:14:35,744
Which I certainly have, because you...
302
00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:39,114
are wasting what little
precious time I have left.
303
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:41,216
I, too, have researched Kuru, okay?
304
00:14:41,284 --> 00:14:43,218
- Kuru.
- Kuru.
305
00:14:43,286 --> 00:14:45,187
And sure, her symptoms may
be from something else,
306
00:14:45,254 --> 00:14:47,389
but this woman ate dead flesh
from the only known tribe
307
00:14:47,456 --> 00:14:50,258
to carry that disease on this planet.
308
00:14:50,326 --> 00:14:53,228
I mean, I'm sorry, but I feel
that our diagnosis is correct.
309
00:14:53,296 --> 00:14:54,896
I'm sorry, boo. Wait, but the only way
310
00:14:54,964 --> 00:14:57,265
to really know for sure is to
test a piece of her brain.
311
00:14:57,333 --> 00:15:01,102
What if we performed an awake
craniotomy to get the sample?
312
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:03,371
If she's awake during the operation,
313
00:15:03,439 --> 00:15:06,241
we can ask her questions to make sure
that we're not getting close to any parts
314
00:15:06,309 --> 00:15:07,842
that she actually needs.
315
00:15:07,910 --> 00:15:09,077
You know,
316
00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:13,048
the brain is a weird piece of meat,
317
00:15:13,115 --> 00:15:15,250
and it's highly adaptable, I mean...
318
00:15:15,318 --> 00:15:18,119
But I'll be a vegetable for the
remaining weeks I have left.
319
00:15:18,187 --> 00:15:20,922
You're not seriously considering
this, are you, my love?
320
00:15:20,990 --> 00:15:23,325
Just saying, it would really
suck if you don't have Kuru
321
00:15:23,392 --> 00:15:25,293
and you do have something
that we could treat,
322
00:15:25,361 --> 00:15:27,295
but you die because we never knew.
323
00:15:27,363 --> 00:15:29,831
Plus, it's a badass surgery,
324
00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:32,968
I mean, I would look so cool in
front of my friends at Harvard.
325
00:15:33,035 --> 00:15:34,569
That's the school I went to, Harvard.
326
00:15:37,139 --> 00:15:39,007
Y-You know...
327
00:15:39,075 --> 00:15:40,508
you're right.
328
00:15:40,576 --> 00:15:42,244
If I don't have Kuru,
329
00:15:42,311 --> 00:15:46,514
that means you and I
have years and years
330
00:15:46,582 --> 00:15:50,652
and years and years of being
together ahead of us.
331
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,687
That sounds great.
332
00:16:23,185 --> 00:16:24,286
Hello.
333
00:16:24,353 --> 00:16:26,121
Hello, Nurse Hoffel?
334
00:16:26,188 --> 00:16:28,189
It's Jane Hollis, Cassidy's mom.
335
00:16:28,257 --> 00:16:31,026
Uh, I'm a little busy.
Can I call you back?
336
00:16:31,093 --> 00:16:32,827
Oh, I just need a minute.
337
00:16:32,895 --> 00:16:35,897
Where are you? It
sounds like a big echo.
338
00:16:35,965 --> 00:16:37,966
In the basement.
339
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:39,367
Ooh, that sounds fun.
340
00:16:39,435 --> 00:16:41,903
Is it a finished basement?
341
00:16:41,971 --> 00:16:44,139
- Jane!
- I always wanted one of those...
342
00:16:44,206 --> 00:16:45,507
I'm really sort of busy.
343
00:16:45,574 --> 00:16:47,642
Right, I'll just get to it.
344
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:48,576
Listen.
345
00:16:48,644 --> 00:16:51,146
My son is dead to me.
346
00:16:51,213 --> 00:16:53,248
So now it's just you and me.
347
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:56,151
I really appreciate all the
work you've been doing,
348
00:16:56,218 --> 00:16:59,220
and I wanted to offer my
help in finishing the job.
349
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:02,157
I think I'm doing fine on my own.
Thank you.
350
00:17:04,093 --> 00:17:05,860
Oh.
351
00:17:05,928 --> 00:17:08,196
She hung up.
352
00:17:34,824 --> 00:17:38,360
I did everything
right, raising that boy.
353
00:17:38,427 --> 00:17:41,863
All I know is, I'm a
failure as a mother.
354
00:17:41,931 --> 00:17:43,264
Mm. Look,
355
00:17:43,332 --> 00:17:45,233
maybe you're feeling that way
356
00:17:45,301 --> 00:17:48,203
because you're seeing what
Cassidy did as letting you down.
357
00:17:48,270 --> 00:17:50,305
He did the right thing.
358
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:51,973
Which means deep down,
he's a good person
359
00:17:52,041 --> 00:17:53,274
who knows right from wrong.
360
00:17:53,342 --> 00:17:54,376
Who taught him that?
361
00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:57,045
Well, he watches a lot of television.
362
00:17:57,113 --> 00:18:00,148
Modern Family impacted him deeply.
363
00:18:00,216 --> 00:18:02,484
It was you.
364
00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:04,886
I know what it's like to
lose someone you love.
365
00:18:04,954 --> 00:18:08,056
My boyfriend was murdered.
366
00:18:08,124 --> 00:18:11,092
I miss his big arm muscles every day.
367
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,095
I miss my husband so much.
368
00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:17,899
His arm muscles weren't very big,
369
00:18:17,967 --> 00:18:19,734
but they were mine.
370
00:18:19,802 --> 00:18:22,137
As long as you keep focusing on revenge,
371
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:23,972
you'll never get to truly grieve him.
372
00:18:25,361 --> 00:18:27,028
Let me show you the hospital.
373
00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:29,744
The new one your son helped build?
374
00:18:31,091 --> 00:18:32,919
The one that actually heals people.
375
00:18:38,721 --> 00:18:40,121
You can't go through with this.
376
00:18:40,189 --> 00:18:42,056
- Why?
- Because what if you cure her?
377
00:18:42,124 --> 00:18:43,324
I'm not gonna cure her.
378
00:18:43,392 --> 00:18:44,926
Look, I'm gonna go ahead
with the procedure,
379
00:18:44,994 --> 00:18:46,361
I'm gonna find out she's still dying,
380
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,129
we'll cry a bunch, we'll
probably pound some,
381
00:18:48,197 --> 00:18:49,464
and then, in a few
weeks, she's gonna die
382
00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:50,799
and you and I will go to Blood Island.
383
00:18:50,866 --> 00:18:52,534
- I want you to kill her.
- What?
384
00:18:52,601 --> 00:18:53,118
Shh!
385
00:18:53,143 --> 00:18:54,693
No. I want you to kill
her during her surgery,
386
00:18:54,737 --> 00:18:58,306
and make it look like an accident.
Just say that you...
387
00:18:58,374 --> 00:18:59,507
remembered a scene,
from Hills Have Eyes 2,
388
00:18:59,575 --> 00:19:01,209
and you were overcome
with chills, like...
389
00:19:01,277 --> 00:19:03,478
I just remembered a
scene from Hills Have Eyes 2
390
00:19:03,546 --> 00:19:05,447
and I just sliced open her brain.
I'm such a klutz,
391
00:19:05,514 --> 00:19:06,981
and I'm never gonna watch
a scary movie ever again
392
00:19:07,049 --> 00:19:09,717
before a surgery. I
can't wait any longer.
393
00:19:09,785 --> 00:19:13,087
Okay? She's got to go. I want
to be sipping on Mai Tais,
394
00:19:13,155 --> 00:19:15,323
and I want to be hunting
down tourists within a week.
395
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:18,126
Woman, calm down. Get ahold of yourself.
396
00:19:18,194 --> 00:19:20,628
I will not kill her during this surgery.
397
00:19:20,696 --> 00:19:23,131
If I botch this up, my
reputation will be destroyed.
398
00:19:23,199 --> 00:19:26,634
Okay, this whole plan depends
on Dean Munsch being dead.
399
00:19:26,702 --> 00:19:28,636
And if she's alive,
400
00:19:28,704 --> 00:19:31,806
then she gets to keep her money,
and I have to go back to prison,
401
00:19:31,874 --> 00:19:35,376
where I literally have to
draw porn to masturbate to,
402
00:19:35,444 --> 00:19:37,512
and I am a terrible artist.
403
00:19:37,580 --> 00:19:39,113
I'm not gonna do that again.
404
00:19:39,181 --> 00:19:40,982
No.
405
00:19:41,050 --> 00:19:42,984
So you kill her during the surgery,
406
00:19:43,052 --> 00:19:44,152
or else.
407
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:45,620
Or else what?
408
00:19:45,688 --> 00:19:47,522
Oh. You heard me.
409
00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:49,390
Or else.
410
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:51,926
I know... I know, or else what?
411
00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:54,062
Or else.
412
00:20:01,237 --> 00:20:03,204
Listen. Chanels.
413
00:20:03,272 --> 00:20:05,240
I'm going to let you
in on a little secret.
414
00:20:05,307 --> 00:20:08,176
I was only pretending to be cool
with Brock marrying Dean Munsch.
415
00:20:08,244 --> 00:20:09,577
Really, I'm not cool with it.
416
00:20:09,645 --> 00:20:11,246
You actually didn't seem
cool with it at all.
417
00:20:11,313 --> 00:20:13,014
It was very obvious.
418
00:20:13,082 --> 00:20:14,415
I'm gonna tell you something.
419
00:20:14,483 --> 00:20:16,184
I hate Dean Munsch.
420
00:20:16,252 --> 00:20:18,620
I hated her when she made
us take those gross pledges
421
00:20:18,687 --> 00:20:20,188
into Kappa House that all got murdered,
422
00:20:20,256 --> 00:20:22,757
which basically prevented
us from getting murdered.
423
00:20:22,825 --> 00:20:26,060
I hated her when she plucked us out
of abject poverty and let us come
424
00:20:26,128 --> 00:20:27,829
to her medical school,
no questions asked,
425
00:20:27,897 --> 00:20:31,599
when then led us to fulfilling our
lifelong dream of becoming TV doctors...
426
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,067
I mean, the list goes on.
427
00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:36,618
I'm crushed with jealousy.
428
00:20:36,751 --> 00:20:41,228
I mean, jealousy has pinned me down and
is sitting on my chest and farting.
429
00:20:41,877 --> 00:20:43,611
So what are you gonna do?
430
00:20:50,486 --> 00:20:53,488
This is a pipin' hot
pumpkin spice latte.
431
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:57,225
Once Munsch's head is sawed
open and her brain is exposed,
432
00:20:57,293 --> 00:20:59,627
I'm gonna throw this pumpkin spice latte
433
00:20:59,695 --> 00:21:01,496
into her open brain.
434
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:02,931
What, what?
435
00:21:02,998 --> 00:21:04,566
I'm gonna throw this latte
into her open brain.
436
00:21:04,633 --> 00:21:06,067
I heard you, but why?
437
00:21:06,135 --> 00:21:06,968
It'll kill her!
438
00:21:07,036 --> 00:21:07,735
Will it?
439
00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:10,238
Of course it will.
440
00:21:10,306 --> 00:21:11,639
Um, I'm not...
441
00:21:11,707 --> 00:21:13,107
I'm not sure that it will.
442
00:21:13,175 --> 00:21:15,410
I mean, it might scald a
layer of brain tissue,
443
00:21:15,477 --> 00:21:16,811
but I don't think it'll
leave any lasting damage.
444
00:21:16,879 --> 00:21:18,313
Plus, she won't even feel it.
445
00:21:19,381 --> 00:21:20,481
So it'll maybe scald,
446
00:21:20,549 --> 00:21:22,283
like, a tiny little section of her brain
447
00:21:22,351 --> 00:21:23,318
and then it'll heal right away.
448
00:21:26,822 --> 00:21:28,156
Are you kidding me, Number Five?
449
00:21:28,223 --> 00:21:30,658
It's not "doing someone a favor"
450
00:21:30,726 --> 00:21:32,961
to pour really scalding, super-delicious
451
00:21:33,028 --> 00:21:35,463
pumpkin spice latte
into their open brain.
452
00:21:35,531 --> 00:21:39,000
It is, if it's actually scalding.
453
00:21:39,068 --> 00:21:41,469
Just the fact that it's scalding means
454
00:21:41,537 --> 00:21:42,737
that any bacteria
455
00:21:42,805 --> 00:21:44,205
would be killed instantly.
456
00:21:44,273 --> 00:21:46,007
What you should do is get one
457
00:21:46,075 --> 00:21:47,575
at room temperature and leave it out
458
00:21:47,643 --> 00:21:49,344
for a couple of days until it spoils,
459
00:21:49,411 --> 00:21:50,545
and then pour it on her open brain.
460
00:21:50,613 --> 00:21:52,347
Okay, well, the surgery is happening
461
00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:53,748
right now, Number Five, so
we don't have three days.
462
00:21:53,816 --> 00:21:56,084
And since when did you become so smart?
463
00:21:56,151 --> 00:21:58,319
Since I aced the MCATs with no help.
464
00:21:58,387 --> 00:21:59,887
Ugh, this again.
465
00:21:59,955 --> 00:22:02,590
We all aced the MCATs, Number Five.
466
00:22:02,658 --> 00:22:04,325
I just don't know why
you have to kill her.
467
00:22:04,393 --> 00:22:06,127
I mean, she's gonna die soon anyway.
468
00:22:06,195 --> 00:22:07,795
I don't want her to die.
469
00:22:07,863 --> 00:22:09,797
I want her to be killed by me.
470
00:22:09,865 --> 00:22:12,533
That's why I am gonna pretend to trip,
471
00:22:12,601 --> 00:22:14,969
and pour this piping-hot
PSL into her open brain.
472
00:22:15,037 --> 00:22:17,538
End of conversation. Deal with it.
It's happening!
473
00:22:20,209 --> 00:22:22,343
I'm not gonna... I don't even care.
474
00:22:22,411 --> 00:22:24,111
She's not listening.
475
00:22:26,455 --> 00:22:27,455
Dean Munsch.
476
00:22:28,409 --> 00:22:29,698
Dean Munsch.
477
00:22:29,784 --> 00:22:30,557
Hm?
478
00:22:31,260 --> 00:22:33,594
I've sawed open a
small section of your skull.
479
00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:35,854
Dr. Holt's starting the
procedure right now.
480
00:22:35,922 --> 00:22:37,189
Can you hear me?
481
00:22:37,256 --> 00:22:39,091
Wha-What am I on?
482
00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:40,592
We performed a nerve block
483
00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,894
in your neck so you won't feel any pain,
484
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:44,896
and I've given you a
mild dose of clonazepam
485
00:22:44,964 --> 00:22:46,631
- to keep you calm.
- Mmm.
486
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:47,933
Calm?
487
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,068
Okay. I feel great.
488
00:22:50,136 --> 00:22:52,738
I mean, you opened up my brain
489
00:22:52,805 --> 00:22:54,539
and exposed it to the world.
490
00:22:56,142 --> 00:22:57,909
But you know,
491
00:22:57,977 --> 00:23:00,712
- party on, whatever.
- All right, now...
492
00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:03,315
What I'm gonna do is
insert this biopsy needle
493
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,750
in through a section of the frontal lobe
494
00:23:04,817 --> 00:23:06,518
that processes music.
495
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:08,687
So I'd like you to sing a
song for us, if you can.
496
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:09,721
Is there a song that you like?
497
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,923
Yeah, "Smoke on the Water."
498
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,592
Deep Purple, "Smoke on the Water."
499
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:15,594
- Seriously?
- Well, yeah.
500
00:23:15,661 --> 00:23:19,631
I mean, they're like the
granddaddies of heavy metal.
501
00:23:19,699 --> 00:23:21,700
Have you never heard
that chord progression?
502
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,402
I mean, seriously.
503
00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:27,773
We all came down to Montreux
504
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,576
On the Lake Geneva shoreline
505
00:23:31,644 --> 00:23:34,546
To make records with a mobile
506
00:23:37,116 --> 00:23:39,151
We didn't have much time
507
00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:41,052
Inserting biopsy needle.
508
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:44,823
Smoke on the water
509
00:23:44,891 --> 00:23:46,758
A fire in the sky
510
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:48,527
Passing through
the corpus callosum.
511
00:23:48,594 --> 00:23:50,862
Smooooo...
512
00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:52,597
Oop, must've hit something.
513
00:23:52,665 --> 00:23:54,366
...oooooooke
514
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,269
On the water
515
00:23:57,336 --> 00:23:58,436
Dun dun dunh
516
00:23:58,504 --> 00:24:00,639
Dun dun duh-nuh
517
00:24:00,706 --> 00:24:04,142
Dun dun dunh, dun dunh
518
00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:06,545
- Taking the biopsy now.
-
Hey, dun dun dunh
519
00:24:06,612 --> 00:24:08,213
Dun dun duh-nuh
520
00:24:08,281 --> 00:24:09,281
Nurse Hoffel, gauze.
521
00:24:09,348 --> 00:24:12,651
Dun dun dunh, dun dunh
522
00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:17,689
Smoke on the water
523
00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:19,624
A fire in the sky...
524
00:24:22,562 --> 00:24:24,796
What the hell are you doing?!
525
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,431
I'm sorry, I tripped.
526
00:24:26,499 --> 00:24:28,700
- No, you didn't.
- I-I didn't do anything.
527
00:24:28,768 --> 00:24:30,202
- No, get out!
- I'm just a patsy.
528
00:24:30,269 --> 00:24:31,636
Okay, let's sew her back up.
529
00:24:31,704 --> 00:24:33,505
Five, let's get this sample
down to the lab, please.
530
00:24:33,573 --> 00:24:35,640
Cassidy, close up the hole.
531
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,642
Okay, well, honey,
532
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:38,977
the procedure went perfectly,
533
00:24:39,045 --> 00:24:41,012
except for Chanel throwing a latte.
534
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,113
We're gonna stitch you
up, and you're gonna be
535
00:24:42,181 --> 00:24:43,281
as good as new.
536
00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:45,016
Mmm. Boning soon?
537
00:24:45,084 --> 00:24:46,184
That's right, sweetheart.
538
00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:48,019
- Boning soon.
- Excellent.
539
00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:58,244
Dean Munsch, I have some good news.
540
00:24:58,909 --> 00:25:00,846
I also have some bad news.
541
00:25:01,111 --> 00:25:02,945
We found no evidence of Kuru.
542
00:25:03,013 --> 00:25:05,081
- Oh!
- What?
543
00:25:05,148 --> 00:25:07,349
- Wonderful!
- But the good news is...
544
00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,819
- Wait, that's not the good news?
- That's the bad news.
545
00:25:09,886 --> 00:25:11,787
That means that the
test was inconclusive.
546
00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:13,948
And that means that
it's still very likely
547
00:25:14,015 --> 00:25:15,049
that you could have Kuru.
548
00:25:15,116 --> 00:25:17,785
So what's the good news?
549
00:25:17,852 --> 00:25:21,222
The good news is that
550
00:25:21,289 --> 00:25:22,723
you'll probably still die.
551
00:25:22,791 --> 00:25:25,259
And you've been preparing for that.
552
00:25:25,327 --> 00:25:27,795
So no further preparations are needed,
553
00:25:27,862 --> 00:25:30,197
and, um, you can just, uh,
keep doing what you're doing.
554
00:25:30,265 --> 00:25:32,032
You have terrible bedside manner.
555
00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:34,101
Well, there's also interesting news.
556
00:25:34,169 --> 00:25:36,203
I looked up other things that
could cause the symptoms
557
00:25:36,271 --> 00:25:37,538
we all think is Kuru
558
00:25:37,606 --> 00:25:38,872
and the only thing that could be causing
559
00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:40,107
all of those symptoms...
560
00:25:40,175 --> 00:25:41,508
dehydration.
561
00:25:41,576 --> 00:25:43,544
- What?
- Extreme dehydration.
562
00:25:43,612 --> 00:25:45,679
Like, you would have had to
not have water for years.
563
00:25:45,747 --> 00:25:47,548
That's insane. I drink water.
564
00:25:47,616 --> 00:25:49,683
I mean, I'm constantly drinking.
565
00:25:49,751 --> 00:25:51,619
I-I...
566
00:25:51,686 --> 00:25:54,121
Oh, my God.
567
00:25:55,757 --> 00:25:57,591
I only drink scotch.
568
00:25:57,659 --> 00:25:59,093
Or vodka.
569
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:00,995
Wait, wait, wait, wait. That
doesn't make any sense.
570
00:26:01,062 --> 00:26:02,363
You put water in it, don't you?
571
00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:03,797
Or drink it on the rocks?
572
00:26:03,865 --> 00:26:05,833
No. Straight up. Neat.
573
00:26:05,900 --> 00:26:07,801
Okay, but you'd have to
have a little bit of water.
574
00:26:07,869 --> 00:26:10,037
I mean, you brush your teeth,
575
00:26:10,105 --> 00:26:11,338
and you rinse with...
576
00:26:11,406 --> 00:26:13,207
Scotch.
577
00:26:19,914 --> 00:26:22,383
Okay, um, what about at a restaurant?
578
00:26:22,450 --> 00:26:24,618
Would you like still or sparkling?
579
00:26:24,686 --> 00:26:28,188
Actually, I'd love two
fingers of scotch, neat.
580
00:26:28,256 --> 00:26:29,790
Thank you.
581
00:26:29,858 --> 00:26:33,827
I'm sorry, so you think I am
just extremely dehydrated?
582
00:26:35,430 --> 00:26:38,499
But what about the fact
that I ate brains?
583
00:26:38,566 --> 00:26:42,069
Hello, Swando? It's Cathy Munsch.
584
00:26:42,137 --> 00:26:44,238
Do you remember me? We met on a plane.
585
00:26:44,306 --> 00:26:46,774
Cathy, hi. It's been a while.
586
00:26:46,841 --> 00:26:48,342
Yes, hello, Swando.
587
00:26:48,418 --> 00:26:51,853
Um, do you remember that
party that you took me to?
588
00:26:51,913 --> 00:26:54,581
That was for one of your
relatives, am I correct?
589
00:26:54,649 --> 00:26:57,751
Yes, that is right. Very sad.
590
00:26:57,819 --> 00:27:00,220
And we ate brains?
591
00:27:00,288 --> 00:27:01,955
Yes, that is right.
592
00:27:02,023 --> 00:27:03,691
It's a family tradition.
593
00:27:06,052 --> 00:27:08,420
I have Kuru.
594
00:27:10,298 --> 00:27:13,100
- Oh, Cathy, that's very sad.
- There, there. There, there.
595
00:27:13,168 --> 00:27:15,269
We are heartbroken, too.
596
00:27:15,337 --> 00:27:17,171
Grandpa was a dear member of the family.
597
00:27:17,238 --> 00:27:18,605
And so was Lamby.
598
00:27:18,673 --> 00:27:20,874
Wait, wait, who's Lamby?
599
00:27:20,942 --> 00:27:24,078
Lamby. He was our pet lamb.
He died, too.
600
00:27:24,145 --> 00:27:26,046
It's a family tradition
that when a pet lamb dies,
601
00:27:26,114 --> 00:27:27,381
we eat the brains.
602
00:27:27,449 --> 00:27:31,618
Wait, are you saying
that I ate lamb brains
603
00:27:31,686 --> 00:27:33,020
and not human brains?
604
00:27:33,088 --> 00:27:35,122
Of course we don't eat human brains,
605
00:27:35,190 --> 00:27:36,623
you xenophobic piece of garbage.
606
00:27:36,691 --> 00:27:40,561
I don't have Kuru!
607
00:27:40,628 --> 00:27:42,429
I'm dehydrated.
608
00:27:42,481 --> 00:27:44,415
I'm gonna be fine.
609
00:27:44,499 --> 00:27:47,301
Oh! Oh...
610
00:27:47,369 --> 00:27:50,104
Hey, everybody, Nurse
Hoffel wants us all
611
00:27:50,171 --> 00:27:51,271
to go down to the basement
612
00:27:51,339 --> 00:27:53,073
for a champagne toast
613
00:27:53,141 --> 00:27:55,075
to celebrate the good news.
614
00:27:55,143 --> 00:27:57,311
How does she know? Oh, come on.
615
00:27:57,379 --> 00:27:58,846
I need some water.
616
00:27:58,913 --> 00:28:00,514
Welcome, everyone.
617
00:28:00,582 --> 00:28:02,516
Please go inside.
618
00:28:02,584 --> 00:28:04,551
Oh, champagne and cheese!
619
00:28:04,619 --> 00:28:06,086
And a honeymoon bed.
620
00:28:06,154 --> 00:28:08,255
Sweetheart, boning soon!
621
00:28:09,357 --> 00:28:11,325
Hold on a second.
622
00:28:11,393 --> 00:28:14,461
This isn't real champagne.
This is sparkling apple cider!
623
00:28:14,529 --> 00:28:16,730
And this cheese is Styrofoam.
624
00:28:16,798 --> 00:28:19,466
I just wanted to make
sure your last meal was
625
00:28:19,534 --> 00:28:22,102
as awful as possible.
626
00:28:22,170 --> 00:28:23,971
Wait.
627
00:28:24,038 --> 00:28:25,239
You're the Green Meanie?
628
00:28:25,306 --> 00:28:27,508
Well, I was not expecting that.
629
00:28:27,575 --> 00:28:29,910
Well, Hester, you could have given...
630
00:28:29,978 --> 00:28:31,812
- Where's Hester?
- I saw her get in an Uber
631
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,614
with her suitcases a
couple of hours ago.
632
00:28:33,681 --> 00:28:35,349
Pretty sure she was running away.
633
00:28:35,417 --> 00:28:37,985
- Not sure why it took her so long.
- This makes no sense.
634
00:28:38,052 --> 00:28:40,087
She's way to old to be
the baby in the belly.
635
00:28:40,155 --> 00:28:41,955
That didn't stop you guys accusing me.
636
00:28:42,023 --> 00:28:45,459
Dr. Cassidy is the baby in the belly,
637
00:28:45,527 --> 00:28:47,294
and the other Green Meanie.
638
00:28:47,362 --> 00:28:49,129
He totally hasn't killed someone
in, like, three days, so...
639
00:28:50,198 --> 00:28:51,899
What does any of this have to do
640
00:28:51,966 --> 00:28:52,966
with Nurse Awful?!
641
00:28:53,034 --> 00:28:54,501
Because my real name isn't "Hoffel,"
642
00:28:54,569 --> 00:28:56,804
you evil little trollop.
643
00:28:56,871 --> 00:28:58,071
It's Bean!
644
00:29:00,809 --> 00:29:02,509
Sort of rings a bell?
645
00:29:02,577 --> 00:29:05,746
Oh, for the love of Pete! Agatha Bean?
646
00:29:05,814 --> 00:29:07,581
Can you give us a couple more clues?
647
00:29:07,649 --> 00:29:08,749
She was your maid!
648
00:29:11,019 --> 00:29:13,821
You burned poor Agatha's
face in the deep fryer.
649
00:29:13,888 --> 00:29:15,823
Oh...
650
00:29:15,890 --> 00:29:18,225
She was my sister, and you killed her.
651
00:29:18,293 --> 00:29:21,662
And you let them get away
with it, Dean Munsch.
652
00:29:21,729 --> 00:29:24,465
- I am sooo sorry about that.
- Can I just say...
653
00:29:24,532 --> 00:29:26,467
I feel like I'm unfairly
being, you know,
654
00:29:26,534 --> 00:29:28,469
lumped in with this group here.
655
00:29:28,536 --> 00:29:30,070
Collateral damage.
656
00:29:30,138 --> 00:29:31,472
Today they pay for what they did
657
00:29:31,539 --> 00:29:34,374
to sweet Agatha.
658
00:29:34,442 --> 00:29:37,544
And Cassidy will take
the fall for all of it.
659
00:29:37,612 --> 00:29:40,047
Not so fast!
660
00:29:40,114 --> 00:29:41,048
Mom?
661
00:29:41,115 --> 00:29:42,483
Zayday, you're safe!
662
00:29:42,550 --> 00:29:45,052
Oh, I'm so relieved.
663
00:29:45,119 --> 00:29:46,687
Yeah, thank you guys for
all your tireless efforts
664
00:29:46,754 --> 00:29:48,155
in trying to find me.
665
00:29:48,223 --> 00:29:50,691
I was trapped in a well again.
666
00:29:50,758 --> 00:29:53,093
This ends now, Nurse Hoffel.
667
00:29:53,161 --> 00:29:55,262
Since seeing this hospital,
668
00:29:55,330 --> 00:30:00,100
and the way it loves, respects,
and heals its patients,
669
00:30:00,168 --> 00:30:04,238
it's made me realize how wrong
I was to hold onto my anger.
670
00:30:04,305 --> 00:30:07,241
The past is the past.
671
00:30:07,308 --> 00:30:09,042
I'm reborn!
672
00:30:13,982 --> 00:30:16,817
Put her in the cage!
673
00:30:16,885 --> 00:30:18,819
- Move it! Move it!
- Come on, move it.
674
00:30:19,988 --> 00:30:23,290
No, no! Aww.
675
00:30:23,358 --> 00:30:25,792
Mom.
676
00:30:27,929 --> 00:30:29,530
I'm so
sorry I let you down.
677
00:30:29,597 --> 00:30:34,535
No. No, you didn't.
678
00:30:34,602 --> 00:30:38,438
You saved me.
679
00:30:39,841 --> 00:30:42,509
You and Zayday Williams.
680
00:30:44,412 --> 00:30:46,179
Ms. Hollis, I'm so sorry
681
00:30:46,247 --> 00:30:48,715
about everything that's happened
to you and your family.
682
00:30:48,783 --> 00:30:52,052
And if we make it through this,
683
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,221
I promise this hospital will make amends
684
00:30:54,289 --> 00:30:57,157
by caring for and curing as
many people as possible.
685
00:30:59,060 --> 00:31:00,093
Your father.
686
00:31:01,896 --> 00:31:05,799
He would be so proud.
687
00:31:18,246 --> 00:31:20,147
I'm gonna kill you.
688
00:31:20,214 --> 00:31:22,115
Well, that's gonna be a little difficult
689
00:31:22,183 --> 00:31:24,384
when you're splattered
into a million pieces
690
00:31:24,452 --> 00:31:26,520
all over the neighborhood.
691
00:31:32,327 --> 00:31:35,162
This is a bigger bomb than Cloud Atlas!
692
00:31:36,965 --> 00:31:38,832
Congratulations, Cassidy.
693
00:31:38,900 --> 00:31:41,568
I think your mommy's
about to get her wish.
694
00:31:41,636 --> 00:31:43,570
The only regret I have
695
00:31:43,638 --> 00:31:48,208
is that I don't get to see your face
696
00:31:48,276 --> 00:31:51,578
when you finally die, Chanel.
697
00:31:51,646 --> 00:31:55,215
Good-bye, Chanels. Have fun in hell.
698
00:31:55,283 --> 00:31:56,950
Oh, by the way, I heard
699
00:31:57,018 --> 00:31:58,852
there are no dinosaurs!
700
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,221
Oh, no.
701
00:32:02,457 --> 00:32:05,258
Oh. Okay.
702
00:32:05,326 --> 00:32:07,227
I guess we should
703
00:32:07,295 --> 00:32:08,662
take this moment,
704
00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:11,898
perhaps, to let go of some old grudges.
705
00:32:11,966 --> 00:32:14,234
Screw that, I am going out
706
00:32:14,302 --> 00:32:15,335
guns blazing!
707
00:32:15,403 --> 00:32:16,603
Wait! Wait a minute!
708
00:32:16,671 --> 00:32:19,039
- Wha... Denise!
- What?
709
00:32:19,107 --> 00:32:22,843
You're alive, that
means my cryo-chamber worked!
710
00:32:22,910 --> 00:32:24,778
Damn right it did, crunchy Munsch.
711
00:32:24,846 --> 00:32:27,781
The low temperature allowed my
heart to beat slowly enough
712
00:32:27,849 --> 00:32:29,182
to regain its strength or something.
713
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:30,450
Anyway,
714
00:32:30,518 --> 00:32:32,786
I'm back, bitches! All right.
715
00:32:32,854 --> 00:32:34,221
What did I miss?
716
00:32:34,288 --> 00:32:36,223
Ooh! How's Hillary working out?
717
00:32:36,290 --> 00:32:38,792
I mean, the first female president,
718
00:32:38,860 --> 00:32:40,293
and I missed the moment!
719
00:32:40,361 --> 00:32:42,729
- Damn it!
- Can you just stop talking
720
00:32:42,797 --> 00:32:44,064
and defuse the bomb?
721
00:32:47,135 --> 00:32:49,102
Damn, that look complicated.
722
00:32:49,170 --> 00:32:52,239
They didn't show us how to
defuse no bombs in Quantico.
723
00:32:52,306 --> 00:32:53,907
But, but, but, but, but
724
00:32:53,975 --> 00:32:55,909
fortunate for all of us,
725
00:32:55,977 --> 00:32:58,645
I did watch the hit TV show Quantico.
726
00:32:58,713 --> 00:33:02,649
And I saw Agent Alex Parrish defuse one.
727
00:33:02,717 --> 00:33:04,051
All right.
728
00:33:04,118 --> 00:33:08,388
If my memory serves me correctly...
729
00:33:08,456 --> 00:33:10,791
Damn, I don't have my glasses.
Okay, but I think
730
00:33:10,858 --> 00:33:15,562
if I pull that wire, either...
731
00:33:15,630 --> 00:33:17,664
the countdown will stop,
732
00:33:17,732 --> 00:33:20,167
or we'll all be blown to smithereens.
733
00:33:24,005 --> 00:33:27,240
Ain't but one damn way to find out.
734
00:33:27,308 --> 00:33:29,076
I do have teeth in my vagina!
735
00:33:29,143 --> 00:33:30,844
I knew it.
736
00:33:30,912 --> 00:33:34,514
I didn't want to die a liar.
737
00:33:34,582 --> 00:33:36,583
They are very sharp.
738
00:33:36,651 --> 00:33:38,251
And I don't know how they got there.
739
00:33:38,319 --> 00:33:39,820
Shut up!
740
00:33:49,731 --> 00:33:51,565
Oh!
741
00:33:51,632 --> 00:33:52,899
Yes!
742
00:33:52,967 --> 00:33:54,701
Oh, Denise!
743
00:33:55,050 --> 00:33:56,850
Denise Hemphill.
744
00:33:57,135 --> 00:33:58,402
Ha!
745
00:34:03,478 --> 00:34:04,745
Let's get her!
746
00:34:45,486 --> 00:34:47,087
Oh, God.
747
00:34:52,126 --> 00:34:54,461
You sacrificed yourself for me.
748
00:34:56,664 --> 00:34:58,698
You know, pal, could've just
pushed her out of the way
749
00:34:58,766 --> 00:35:00,233
to save her life.
750
00:35:00,301 --> 00:35:02,269
Yeah.
751
00:35:02,336 --> 00:35:05,138
Jumping in front of a machete
is, like, option number three
752
00:35:05,206 --> 00:35:07,808
in terms of the ways you
could've kept Chanel 3 alive.
753
00:35:07,875 --> 00:35:09,142
Shut up.
754
00:35:09,210 --> 00:35:11,878
This was his redemption.
755
00:35:11,946 --> 00:35:13,180
Now he can be forgiven
756
00:35:13,247 --> 00:35:15,415
for killing all those people.
757
00:35:15,483 --> 00:35:16,883
Uh, I don't think it works that way.
758
00:35:16,951 --> 00:35:18,652
Shut up!
759
00:35:20,655 --> 00:35:22,222
He's trying to speak.
760
00:35:22,290 --> 00:35:24,191
Now that you're dying,
761
00:35:24,258 --> 00:35:26,693
do you believe that you
were always alive?
762
00:35:26,761 --> 00:35:29,529
I knew I was alive...
763
00:35:29,597 --> 00:35:32,699
because of how good it felt to love you.
764
00:35:34,135 --> 00:35:35,936
Uh, say what now?
765
00:35:36,003 --> 00:35:37,270
She's getting away. Go!
766
00:35:45,313 --> 00:35:47,080
There she is!
767
00:35:48,850 --> 00:35:50,217
She getting away!
768
00:35:54,222 --> 00:35:56,389
Oh! Careful, quicksand.
769
00:36:01,028 --> 00:36:02,929
Somebody! Drop me a rope!
770
00:36:04,799 --> 00:36:08,301
Come on! This is a horrible way to die.
771
00:36:08,369 --> 00:36:10,036
Look, in my experience,
772
00:36:10,104 --> 00:36:11,238
costumed serial killers
773
00:36:11,305 --> 00:36:13,073
are never adequately
punished by the law.
774
00:36:13,140 --> 00:36:15,308
Sometimes vigilante
justice is the only way.
775
00:36:15,376 --> 00:36:17,310
I'm with Chanel. She
killed my boyfriend.
776
00:36:17,378 --> 00:36:19,980
Oh, so I suppose no one cares
777
00:36:20,047 --> 00:36:21,314
that your boyfriend
murdered my boyfriend?!
778
00:36:21,382 --> 00:36:23,083
No! No one does.
779
00:36:23,150 --> 00:36:26,168
All right. We'll take a vote.
780
00:36:26,193 --> 00:36:29,048
All in favor of saving Nurse
Hoffel, raise your hand.
781
00:36:31,563 --> 00:36:35,366
All in favor of a terrible
swamp death, raise your hand.
782
00:36:35,391 --> 00:36:36,658
Boom.
783
00:36:39,166 --> 00:36:40,934
I... Oh...
784
00:36:48,576 --> 00:36:51,344
Oh! Damn my conscience!
785
00:36:52,446 --> 00:36:54,514
Here.
786
00:36:54,582 --> 00:36:56,149
- Here.
- What...
787
00:36:56,217 --> 00:36:58,184
Okay, hold on!
788
00:36:58,252 --> 00:36:59,219
Help me. Hold...
789
00:36:59,287 --> 00:37:00,153
Wait, wait. Okay.
790
00:37:00,221 --> 00:37:01,554
- Hold on. Oh...
- Oh!
791
00:37:33,150 --> 00:37:35,844
And just like that, another
group of crazy serial killers
792
00:37:35,869 --> 00:37:37,603
failed in their mission to destroy me.
793
00:37:37,671 --> 00:37:40,373
No! No! No! No!
794
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,376
I know the last girl
standing in these things is usually
795
00:37:43,443 --> 00:37:45,411
some sweet, virginal heroine.
But in my experience,
796
00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:48,347
survival is all about being
skinny, pretty, fashionable
797
00:37:48,415 --> 00:37:50,883
and ruthless. I don't know
why those things matter,
798
00:37:50,951 --> 00:37:52,885
but that's who I am and I'm still alive.
799
00:37:52,953 --> 00:37:55,154
So, ipso facto, that must be why.
800
00:37:57,791 --> 00:37:59,558
Not being terrorized by a serial killer
801
00:37:59,626 --> 00:38:03,262
did wonders for the hospital.
802
00:38:03,330 --> 00:38:04,930
Which made Chanel 5 supes happy.
803
00:38:04,998 --> 00:38:07,333
Now, I know all the doctors
you've seen up to this point
804
00:38:07,401 --> 00:38:10,036
think you have MS, but looking
at your family history,
805
00:38:10,103 --> 00:38:12,204
I think it's possible you could
have a hidden vascular issue,
806
00:38:12,272 --> 00:38:14,373
so I'm gonna order an MRI.
807
00:38:14,441 --> 00:38:16,309
Turns out she's
some kind of idiot savant
808
00:38:16,376 --> 00:38:17,843
when it comes to medical stuf.
809
00:38:17,911 --> 00:38:20,313
She's still intolerable
and single, obvi,
810
00:38:20,380 --> 00:38:21,747
but at least she's doing
some good in the world.
811
00:38:21,815 --> 00:38:23,182
And now that Brock and Dean Munsch
812
00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:24,350
left the hospital, she and Zayday
813
00:38:24,418 --> 00:38:26,085
are kind of top dogs there.
814
00:38:26,153 --> 00:38:28,087
If we form an alliance with St.
Mary's Hospital
815
00:38:28,155 --> 00:38:30,222
and KHF Hospital, we can
coordinate to keep prices low.
816
00:38:30,290 --> 00:38:32,158
It might cut into our
profits, but we're here
817
00:38:32,225 --> 00:38:33,759
to cure people, not make money, right?
818
00:38:33,827 --> 00:38:36,062
Well, okay.
819
00:38:36,129 --> 00:38:39,165
Oh, Dean Munsch and Dr. Hot
didn't leave together, though.
820
00:38:39,232 --> 00:38:41,367
Major drama went down
the day Nurse Hoffel
821
00:38:41,435 --> 00:38:43,035
became the swamp's final victim.
822
00:38:43,103 --> 00:38:44,403
We need to talk.
823
00:38:44,471 --> 00:38:47,606
Mm. Oh, my beautiful husband.
824
00:38:47,674 --> 00:38:50,309
I feel like I have been given
the greatest second chance
825
00:38:50,377 --> 00:38:53,579
since they cast Mickey
Rourke in The Wrestler.
826
00:38:53,647 --> 00:38:55,981
Now you get to watch me
grow old and I get to see
827
00:38:56,049 --> 00:38:58,250
if you'll actually grow old
or if you're a vampire
828
00:38:58,318 --> 00:39:00,419
who never ages, like everyone says.
829
00:39:00,487 --> 00:39:01,554
Does everybody really say that?
830
00:39:01,621 --> 00:39:03,255
Yeah. But...
831
00:39:03,323 --> 00:39:06,058
it doesn't matter, because what matters
832
00:39:06,126 --> 00:39:09,829
is that this hospital gets
to be what it claims to be:
833
00:39:09,896 --> 00:39:12,765
a place where the incurable are cured.
834
00:39:12,833 --> 00:39:14,233
I'll have no problem
835
00:39:14,301 --> 00:39:16,035
finding somebody to
take it off my hands.
836
00:39:16,103 --> 00:39:19,271
Well, yeah, that's a good idea.
You should travel the world
837
00:39:19,339 --> 00:39:21,407
or whatever, and I will stay here
838
00:39:21,475 --> 00:39:23,142
and I will hold down the fort for you,
839
00:39:23,210 --> 00:39:24,643
and I will miss you, my darling.
840
00:39:24,711 --> 00:39:28,447
Don't be
silly, hubby o' mine.
841
00:39:28,515 --> 00:39:31,384
You see, I am going
to the bank right now
842
00:39:31,451 --> 00:39:33,252
and I'm pulling out all my money.
843
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,321
Then you and I are going to buy
844
00:39:35,389 --> 00:39:37,556
a chalet in Aspen,
845
00:39:37,624 --> 00:39:40,393
and I am gonna hang out a shingle
846
00:39:40,460 --> 00:39:43,729
and become the premier sex
therapist for women over 50
847
00:39:43,797 --> 00:39:46,065
and you, my love,
848
00:39:46,133 --> 00:39:48,167
are gonna be the orthopedic surgeon
849
00:39:48,235 --> 00:39:50,302
to the stars.
850
00:39:50,370 --> 00:39:51,337
Love you.
851
00:39:51,405 --> 00:39:53,339
Love you.
852
00:39:54,608 --> 00:39:56,308
I'm sorry, is there a problem?
853
00:39:56,376 --> 00:39:58,144
This is rather awkward, but...
854
00:39:58,211 --> 00:40:00,346
your accounts are empty, Dean Munsch.
855
00:40:00,414 --> 00:40:01,347
Excuse me?
856
00:40:01,415 --> 00:40:03,115
You came in earlier today
857
00:40:03,183 --> 00:40:05,851
- and withdrew all of your funds.
- What?!
858
00:40:09,756 --> 00:40:11,323
It's not a great picture.
859
00:40:15,962 --> 00:40:19,398
Yup, Hester stole
all of Dean Munsch's money.
860
00:40:19,466 --> 00:40:22,802
And her man. Though no one
knows where they ran off to.
861
00:40:25,806 --> 00:40:29,241
Will you be having lunch
now, sir, or later?
862
00:40:29,309 --> 00:40:31,410
I don't know. What do
you think, sweetie?
863
00:40:31,478 --> 00:40:33,412
Have the guests arrived?
864
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,881
Their boat hit the reef
about half an hour ago.
865
00:40:35,949 --> 00:40:39,351
The strongest ones should be
swimming ashore at any moment.
866
00:40:41,955 --> 00:40:45,424
Let's eat now and give 'em a
chance to get their energy back.
867
00:40:45,492 --> 00:40:47,193
Thank you, sir. It's no fun
868
00:40:47,260 --> 00:40:48,594
hunting them when they're all worn out.
869
00:40:48,662 --> 00:40:50,229
Ugh. I agree.
870
00:40:50,297 --> 00:40:52,765
It's like we have the same brain.
871
00:40:57,437 --> 00:41:00,072
Dean Munsch didn't take long
to get back on her feet, though.
872
00:41:00,140 --> 00:41:02,441
She sold the hospital for a
fortune and went to Aspen
873
00:41:02,509 --> 00:41:04,610
to help old ladies remember
how to have orgasms again.
874
00:41:06,413 --> 00:41:08,414
Meredith. Come on in.
875
00:41:08,482 --> 00:41:10,549
She's also boning half the U.S.
Ski Team.
876
00:41:10,617 --> 00:41:13,419
And as for me,
well, destiny called...
877
00:41:13,487 --> 00:41:15,788
well, destiny DM'd me, because it's 2016
878
00:41:15,856 --> 00:41:17,356
and no one actually calls anymore.
879
00:41:19,693 --> 00:41:21,627
It's Lovin' the C,
880
00:41:21,695 --> 00:41:24,630
with your host, Dr. Chanel Oberlin!
881
00:41:27,634 --> 00:41:30,803
Yup, I'm a TV doctor, just
like I said I would be.
882
00:41:30,871 --> 00:41:32,605
Because I get what I deserve,
883
00:41:32,672 --> 00:41:36,308
and I deserve everything I get.
884
00:41:36,376 --> 00:41:38,310
Chanel #3 is my Gayle King.
885
00:41:38,378 --> 00:41:41,247
She executive produces the
show, whatever that means.
886
00:41:41,314 --> 00:41:44,783
Hi, everybody, and
welcome to Lovin' the C.
887
00:41:44,851 --> 00:41:47,253
I'm the C, Dr. Chanel Oberlin,
888
00:41:47,320 --> 00:41:50,256
and today on the show we'll
be discussing death panels.
889
00:41:50,323 --> 00:41:52,258
How can we make them a real thing
890
00:41:52,325 --> 00:41:55,261
for rich people who want
their inheritances sooner?
891
00:41:57,264 --> 00:41:59,598
If I may be obliged
892
00:41:59,666 --> 00:42:01,667
a personal moment...
893
00:42:01,735 --> 00:42:04,436
I've learned a lot in
the past few years,
894
00:42:04,504 --> 00:42:06,472
and most importantly of all,
895
00:42:06,540 --> 00:42:09,842
I've learned that you
just have to be yourself.
896
00:42:09,910 --> 00:42:13,012
And that consequences and responsibility
897
00:42:13,079 --> 00:42:16,649
are burdens for people who
choose to feel shame.
898
00:42:16,716 --> 00:42:18,918
So, you be you, America.
899
00:42:18,985 --> 00:42:22,321
Because Chanel Oberlin
is gonna keep being me.
900
00:42:31,514 --> 00:42:34,116
_
901
00:42:35,305 --> 00:42:41,277
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902
00:42:41,327 --> 00:42:45,877
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