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- Previously on Screen Queens...
- GRACE: Boone murdered 13 people.
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There were two babies.
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Twins... a boy
and a girl.
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GIGI: Your commitment to revenge
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00:00:09,658 --> 00:00:11,793
is clearly greater than your brother's was.
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I'll be going to the
Hamptons for Thanksgiving
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- with the Radwells.
- I'm pregnant!
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Okay, Chanel...
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Listen, I don't want you
to take this the wrong way,
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00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:32,714
but I don't think I can bone you right now.
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My wanger is way stressed out.
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I got a kid on the way with
a crazy neck-braced baby mama
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who I now gotta marry and be
miserable for the rest of my life.
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You don't have to marry
that psycho cow Hester,
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because you don't have a baby on the way...
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if you know what I mean.
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No, I-I don't know what you mean.
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I have killed for love, Chad.
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I've killed for our love.
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Wh... what?
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Chad, Hester was never pregnant.
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She just said that so you'd
invite her to Thanksgiving
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with your family in the Hamptons.
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But then
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she had a little accident
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on the stairs.
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A what?
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Wait, are-are you
saying you killed Hester?
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Gravity killed Hester.
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I just gave her a little push.
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Hester can't come between us anymore, Chad.
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You and I can pick up
right where we left off.
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You can bring me home for Thanksgiving
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and introduce me to my future in-laws.
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Hold on.
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What did you do with the body?
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Duh. I put it in the meat locker.
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It's where we've been
putting all the dead bodies.
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Oh, my God.
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(exhales)
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Chanel, that is so hot.
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I want to see it.
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I need to see the body.
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Look, we can have a three-way
with the body. What? No!
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Oh, come on, I need this!
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If you expect me to take our
relationship to the next level
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by taking you home to the
Hamptons for Thanksgiving,
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you're going to have to prove
to me you can meet my needs.
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Ugh, fine! I'll show you the body,
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but not so you can have sex with it.
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I'll show it to you
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so that you and I will
share a dangerous secret
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that will strengthen our relationship
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and bring us closer together.
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No frigging way. Where is she?
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I don't understand how
this keeps happening!
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Is this meat locker, like, a wormhole
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to an alternate universe or something?
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Okay, Chanel, you gotta relax.
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Believe me, no one's more disappointed
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that Hester's hot dead bod isn't in here.
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Listen.
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I'm not a detective or anything,
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but what if Hester was never dead
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and she just managed to escape?
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That's not possible!
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I watched her fall down the stairs!
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After she fell down the
stairs, did you check her pulse?
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No, Chad, because I'm not,
like, a registered nurse.
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Well, Chanel, it seems to me
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like you tried to kill
Hester and totally failed.
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So you should probably bring
a security detail with you
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to the Hamptons because...
the girl's insane.
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She'll probably stop at nothing until
she gets her revenge by murdering you.
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GIGI: No offense, but this is not
how I wanted to spend the holidays.
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I should be watching the Macy's parade
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and making decorative hand
turkeys with my boyfriend, Wes,
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instead of spending Thanksgiving all single
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and watching the dumb parade with you.
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Still, I do appreciate
you keeping me company.
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No one wants to spend
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a room service Thanksgiving alone.
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Are you going to talk at all?
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Look, I get it.
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You're bummed we had
to murder your brother.
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But honestly? (scoffs)
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You shouldn't be mad at me.
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Boone was out of control.
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I mean, between the three of us?
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We're the sane ones. (laughs)
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He just screwed up that entire operation.
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God...
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00:03:34,196 --> 00:03:35,396
(knocking at door)
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Oh. Room service Thanksgiving.
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Yes!
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Roasted quail and a side of stuffing
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and a cranberry juice.
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00:03:52,347 --> 00:03:55,349
Oh, I had asked for an
electric serrated carving knife.
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Just wouldn't be Thanksgiving
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without the whir of a small motor
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cutting through flesh!
Yeah.
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00:04:03,091 --> 00:04:04,458
Here you go.
Mmm.
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00:04:04,526 --> 00:04:06,193
Yeah.
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00:04:09,464 --> 00:04:13,067
Now, I know you've got other plans today,
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and for alibi's sake we
need to protect your cover,
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but I am not letting you leave
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on an empty stomach.
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I hope you're hungry, because I ordered
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the closest thing the menu had
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to a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.
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00:04:30,619 --> 00:04:32,053
Is that what quail is?
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I thought they were bigger.
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Oh!
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Nope.
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You know what I was picturing? Pheasant.
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Yeah.
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All right, little birdie!
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Time to slice off those breasts.
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Real quick:
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I just wanted to thank you
for spending this hour with me.
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I feel like this holiday is
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all about family,
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and, well, as you know,
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I gave up on my real
family a long time ago.
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00:05:03,151 --> 00:05:04,885
I mean, at this point,
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the closest thing I have to family is...
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00:05:07,122 --> 00:05:08,956
you.
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00:05:11,259 --> 00:05:14,695
So...
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00:05:14,763 --> 00:05:16,697
how about you do the honors?
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00:05:24,139 --> 00:05:26,073
(knife whirring)
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00:05:40,155 --> 00:05:42,123
CHANEL 3: I understand that Thanksgiving
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is supposed to be about
family and being together
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and thanking God that we
were born rich in America
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and not in Uganda or Venezuela
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00:05:47,763 --> 00:05:49,430
or any of those other African countries.
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00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:52,066
But modern Thanksgiving, at
least in the Swenson family,
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is basically a Tinder date.
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It looks so good at first.
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Inviting,
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the possibility of a real connection,
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00:06:00,809 --> 00:06:03,077
but when you actually arrive
at Swenson Thanksgiving's door,
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the whole thing is just fat
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00:06:05,180 --> 00:06:08,115
and upsetting and disappointing.
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00:06:08,183 --> 00:06:09,850
But since you came all this way,
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00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:11,419
you figure you might as
well go through with it,
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00:06:11,486 --> 00:06:12,953
even though you know when you're done,
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00:06:13,021 --> 00:06:14,088
you're probably going to hate yourself.
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00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,356
(gasps)
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00:06:15,424 --> 00:06:17,625
Hello! (laughs)
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00:06:17,693 --> 00:06:19,193
Hi, sweetheart!
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How you doing?
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00:06:22,097 --> 00:06:24,198
The whole serial killer thing is really...
Listen.
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00:06:24,266 --> 00:06:28,069
Your "dad" started in
drinking early this morning,
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00:06:28,136 --> 00:06:29,236
when he found out that Jay Cutler's
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starting for the Bears today.
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00:06:31,206 --> 00:06:33,240
So try not to make eye contact.
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00:06:33,308 --> 00:06:34,975
We don't want another
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Thanksgiving 2008 incident again.
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Freddy was the one who went
and got Grandpa's old pistols
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and challenged me to a duel.
I know, darling.
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But your father loves your brother
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much more than he loves you,
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so if we are gonna keep the peace,
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you're just gonna have
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00:06:46,455 --> 00:06:47,922
to take the blame for everything.
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00:06:47,989 --> 00:06:50,391
Now, come on, we're
just sitting down to eat.
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Look who's here!
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(laughing)
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00:06:54,129 --> 00:06:56,249
(sports announcer speaks
indistinctly over television)
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You're late. The game's
just about to start.
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00:07:01,703 --> 00:07:04,238
And now, you get to sit in
the back row with the help!
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00:07:04,306 --> 00:07:07,374
Screw you, Freddy. Daddy,
I want to sit with you.
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00:07:07,442 --> 00:07:09,043
We haven't seen each other in months.
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On every box of Swenson Frozen Food
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is a set of instructions.
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00:07:13,281 --> 00:07:15,416
It says how long you need to microwave
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00:07:15,484 --> 00:07:17,685
the Mega-Cheesy Mac
and Cheese Hearty Dinner
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00:07:17,753 --> 00:07:20,387
and the Italian Style Chicken Cacciatore.
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00:07:20,455 --> 00:07:22,056
What do you think would happen
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if those instructions were incorrect?
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The damn food
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would either still be frozen
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or completely overcooked.
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This family's fortune
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is built on being right on time.
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You're late!
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Sit your ass in the back with... Margarita.
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00:07:36,671 --> 00:07:39,240
191
00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:43,310
ANNOUNCER: three of their last four
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and could really use a
good save for Thanksgiving,
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which is all about family,
friendship and football.
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The three Fs of November.
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00:07:50,385 --> 00:07:52,253
ANNOUNCER 2: I couldn't agree more.
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There's nothing better than
sitting together as a family,
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watching the game.
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Laughing, smiling,
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just enjoying the warmth
of each other's company.
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00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:01,162
That's what it's all about today.
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00:08:01,229 --> 00:08:02,863
Togetherness.
202
00:08:02,931 --> 00:08:05,166
ANNOUNCER 1: Super, Brian.
Family and togetherness.
203
00:08:05,233 --> 00:08:07,201
ANNOUNCER 2: Speaking of togetherness,
it's still not coming together...
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I'm leaving!
205
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:11,205
Honey!
206
00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,940
But you didn't even touch your peas
207
00:08:13,008 --> 00:08:14,241
or your tiny carrot squares.
208
00:08:14,309 --> 00:08:15,543
Do you want me to defrost
209
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:18,112
some lasagna or Salisbury steak?
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00:08:18,180 --> 00:08:19,547
I don't want you to defrost anything.
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00:08:19,614 --> 00:08:21,715
I hate defrosted food.
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00:08:21,783 --> 00:08:26,086
Why is it called Italian
Style Chicken Cacciatore?
213
00:08:26,154 --> 00:08:28,556
All chicken cacciatore is Italian style.
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00:08:28,623 --> 00:08:29,957
(scoffs)
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00:08:30,025 --> 00:08:32,126
This is not what Thanksgiving
is supposed to be.
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00:08:32,194 --> 00:08:33,561
MR. SWENSON: Thanksgiving
is about tradition.
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00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:35,396
This is the Swenson tradition.
218
00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:36,703
That doesn't bother any of you?
219
00:08:36,731 --> 00:08:38,666
That our family tradition demands TV trays?
220
00:08:38,733 --> 00:08:41,101
There is a killer on the
loose in my sorority house.
221
00:08:41,169 --> 00:08:42,536
A bunch of my sort-of
friends have been killed
222
00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:43,938
and no one has asked me about it.
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00:08:44,005 --> 00:08:45,039
I-I've had it.
224
00:08:45,106 --> 00:08:46,807
I'm out, people.
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00:08:48,009 --> 00:08:49,210
Oh. And I'm starting
226
00:08:49,277 --> 00:08:50,544
a new family tradition.
227
00:08:50,612 --> 00:08:52,146
It involves me never coming
228
00:08:52,214 --> 00:08:54,148
to any family occasions ever again.
229
00:08:54,216 --> 00:08:57,117
Honey, where are you going?
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Home.
231
00:09:12,167 --> 00:09:13,400
(loud metallic clang)
232
00:09:15,537 --> 00:09:16,804
(loud metallic clang)
233
00:09:21,743 --> 00:09:23,043
(clang)
234
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,547
(clang)
235
00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:30,451
(clang)
236
00:09:32,087 --> 00:09:33,354
(clang)
237
00:09:37,926 --> 00:09:39,560
(screams)
238
00:09:39,628 --> 00:09:41,195
(screams) Oh, my God.
239
00:09:41,263 --> 00:09:44,798
Would you stop with the screaming?
240
00:09:47,135 --> 00:09:48,669
What are you doing here?
241
00:09:48,737 --> 00:09:50,237
I came to slaughter old Tiburon.
242
00:09:50,305 --> 00:09:52,506
Wait, isn't that the turkey you
pardoned on the quad yesterday?
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00:09:52,574 --> 00:09:54,074
Yes. Good old Tiburon.
244
00:09:54,142 --> 00:09:55,910
You don't think we would actually
245
00:09:55,977 --> 00:09:57,278
pardon a turkey, do you?
246
00:09:57,345 --> 00:09:59,013
It's more like a stay of execution
247
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,781
until no one is looking.
248
00:10:00,849 --> 00:10:02,549
But why here?
249
00:10:02,617 --> 00:10:05,052
Ah. Well, I was disinvited
250
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,588
to Thanksgiving at my in-laws'
251
00:10:07,656 --> 00:10:09,957
because they still think
that I killed their son,
252
00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:11,558
my jerk-off
ex-husband,
253
00:10:11,626 --> 00:10:13,227
so I'm kind of on my own.
254
00:10:13,295 --> 00:10:14,461
Plus, you girls have
255
00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:16,063
the best cooking facilities on campus,
256
00:10:16,131 --> 00:10:17,765
although it doesn't look
like you ever use them.
257
00:10:17,832 --> 00:10:19,066
Why are you here?
258
00:10:19,134 --> 00:10:21,268
My family Thanksgiving
sucked, so I came here.
259
00:10:21,336 --> 00:10:22,937
Mmm.
Hey...
260
00:10:23,004 --> 00:10:25,472
since you already have a turkey,
why don't we just cook here?
261
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,441
I've never cooked before,
but that should be fine,
262
00:10:27,509 --> 00:10:28,949
since I usually just pretend to eat.
263
00:10:29,010 --> 00:10:31,679
Well, I can cook and eat
264
00:10:31,746 --> 00:10:33,814
for the both of us.
265
00:10:33,882 --> 00:10:37,441
- But I demand that after we eat, we play charades.
- Deal.
266
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,614
(phone ringing)
267
00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:58,355
(sighs)
268
00:10:58,389 --> 00:10:59,656
Hi, Dad.
269
00:10:59,724 --> 00:11:01,224
Hey, where are you?
270
00:11:01,292 --> 00:11:02,559
You promised me you'd at least come by here
271
00:11:02,626 --> 00:11:03,927
before you flew to Oakland with Zayday.
272
00:11:03,995 --> 00:11:05,762
Yeah, we decided not to go.
273
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,230
You're in town? Where are you?
274
00:11:07,298 --> 00:11:08,565
We're at Kappa.
275
00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:10,066
We felt weird leaving the house all alone.
276
00:11:10,134 --> 00:11:13,069
Besides, Dean Munsch
and Chanel #3 are here.
277
00:11:13,137 --> 00:11:14,738
So we've decided to have
an orphans Thanksgiving
278
00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:15,739
all together.
279
00:11:15,806 --> 00:11:17,307
But you're not an orphan.
280
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:18,975
Your dad is ten minutes away.
281
00:11:19,043 --> 00:11:20,310
Thanksgiving?
282
00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:23,079
Honey, it's kind of like our cranberry jam.
283
00:11:23,147 --> 00:11:24,447
Where's Gigi?
284
00:11:24,515 --> 00:11:26,549
I don't know.
285
00:11:26,617 --> 00:11:28,551
She just didn't show up.
286
00:11:28,619 --> 00:11:30,720
Oh, no, no, Number Three.
287
00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:33,056
You pull the feathers the
way they lay on the bird.
288
00:11:33,124 --> 00:11:35,392
And don't pull too many
or you'll tear the skin.
289
00:11:35,459 --> 00:11:38,795
I mean, I guess you could come over here
290
00:11:38,863 --> 00:11:40,130
if you wanted.
291
00:11:40,197 --> 00:11:43,066
Okay, um, only if it's okay with you.
292
00:11:43,134 --> 00:11:44,300
Yeah, I mean, it's fine.
293
00:11:44,368 --> 00:11:45,735
I'll see you soon.
294
00:11:45,803 --> 00:11:47,570
Yes, I'll see you.
295
00:11:47,638 --> 00:11:50,240
(dinging)
296
00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:55,245
MRS. RADWELL: Welcome, everyone.
297
00:11:55,312 --> 00:11:56,579
It is so nice you could all make it home
298
00:11:56,647 --> 00:11:59,249
for another Radwell family Thanksgiving.
299
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:01,951
We have a newcomer this year.
300
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,454
So, let's all give a round
301
00:12:04,522 --> 00:12:06,523
of tolerant Radwell applause
302
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:08,525
to our newcomer
303
00:12:08,592 --> 00:12:11,961
Chanel... Oberlin.
304
00:12:14,098 --> 00:12:17,300
Yes, welcome, Chanel.
305
00:12:17,368 --> 00:12:19,569
Chad hasn't mentioned you... ever.
306
00:12:19,637 --> 00:12:22,739
Before we, uh, dig into
this delicious feast
307
00:12:22,807 --> 00:12:25,909
that Mrs. Radwell has
spent all day overseeing,
308
00:12:25,976 --> 00:12:27,977
let us honor the timeworn,
309
00:12:28,045 --> 00:12:30,146
age-old Radwell tradition
310
00:12:30,214 --> 00:12:32,215
of standing up, stating our names
311
00:12:32,283 --> 00:12:35,185
and saying what we're
thankful for this year.
312
00:12:35,252 --> 00:12:38,188
I'm Tad Radwell and I am thankful
313
00:12:38,255 --> 00:12:40,190
that the turmoil in the Fertile Crescent
314
00:12:40,257 --> 00:12:42,959
has not impacted this family's wealth.
315
00:12:46,197 --> 00:12:49,065
I am Bunny Radwell
316
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:51,401
and I'm thankful that
the Radwell family name
317
00:12:51,469 --> 00:12:53,570
continues to be one of
the oldest bloodlines
318
00:12:53,637 --> 00:12:55,572
in America.
319
00:12:56,707 --> 00:12:57,740
Who exactly
320
00:12:57,808 --> 00:13:00,243
are the Oberlins, Chanel?
321
00:13:00,311 --> 00:13:03,513
Mrs. Radwell, I am happy to
report that the Oberlin family
322
00:13:03,581 --> 00:13:06,716
is a well-established American dynasty.
323
00:13:06,784 --> 00:13:09,119
A little known fact
is that my great-great-
324
00:13:09,186 --> 00:13:11,421
great-great grandfather
Ichabod Oberlin actually
325
00:13:11,489 --> 00:13:14,090
signed the Declaration of Independence.
326
00:13:14,158 --> 00:13:16,059
It's only "little known" because he was
327
00:13:16,127 --> 00:13:17,460
the last one to sign it,
so there was no more room
328
00:13:17,528 --> 00:13:19,229
for him to put his name on the front,
329
00:13:19,296 --> 00:13:21,564
so he had to flip it over
and put his name on the back.
330
00:13:21,632 --> 00:13:24,634
Oh, also the Oberlins
came over on the Mayflower.
331
00:13:24,702 --> 00:13:26,269
Oh, well,
332
00:13:26,337 --> 00:13:28,872
the Radwells came over on a ship
333
00:13:28,939 --> 00:13:31,241
that arrived 30 years before the Mayflower.
334
00:13:31,308 --> 00:13:33,543
So...
335
00:13:33,611 --> 00:13:36,913
(clears throat) I'm Thad Radwell.
336
00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:39,582
And this year I'm so thankful for the lax
337
00:13:39,650 --> 00:13:41,484
indecency laws in Eastern Europe
338
00:13:41,552 --> 00:13:45,088
that inundate our Internet
with millions of hours
339
00:13:45,156 --> 00:13:48,258
of hard-core porn.
340
00:13:48,325 --> 00:13:50,760
Which helps to just generally raise the bar
341
00:13:50,828 --> 00:13:52,428
on the stuff that chicks
feel like they have to do now.
342
00:13:52,496 --> 00:13:54,264
I mean, am I right?
343
00:13:56,233 --> 00:13:58,101
Come on, let's go, Blue!
344
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,371
Hello.
345
00:14:01,438 --> 00:14:03,740
I'm Muffy St. Pierre-Radwell.
346
00:14:03,807 --> 00:14:06,709
And I am so, so thankful
347
00:14:06,777 --> 00:14:09,145
for my husband Brad.
348
00:14:09,213 --> 00:14:11,047
And also that I'm starting
my very own new clothing line,
349
00:14:11,115 --> 00:14:12,649
and it's gonna be so... Hey, everyone.
350
00:14:12,716 --> 00:14:14,851
I'm Brad Radwell.
351
00:14:14,919 --> 00:14:16,352
And for the third year in a row,
352
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,687
I am thankful that I work
353
00:14:17,755 --> 00:14:19,923
at L.A.'s hottest talent agency,
354
00:14:19,990 --> 00:14:22,192
Accentuated Artists, huh?
355
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:24,194
Up high...
Boom! - Boom!
356
00:14:24,261 --> 00:14:25,929
You know, ever since I was a little boy,
357
00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,198
I knew what God wanted me
to do and that was make money
358
00:14:28,265 --> 00:14:30,700
off the backs of creative people.
359
00:14:31,835 --> 00:14:34,204
(grunts)
360
00:14:34,271 --> 00:14:36,472
Hello, I'm Chad Radwell.
361
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:37,707
This year I'm thankful
362
00:14:37,775 --> 00:14:39,142
for someone
363
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:41,144
who's very special to me.
364
00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:45,048
Without this person, I wouldn't
be the man I am right now.
365
00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:47,917
In fact, I wouldn't be here at all.
366
00:14:47,985 --> 00:14:50,720
I am, of course, referring
to the serial killer
367
00:14:50,788 --> 00:14:53,089
who's stalking the campus
of Wallace University.
368
00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:55,391
I am so thankful that
he, for whatever reason,
369
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:56,893
has not murdered me yet.
370
00:14:56,961 --> 00:14:59,395
I am so, so grateful.
371
00:15:01,265 --> 00:15:02,832
I'm also thankful to that serial killer
372
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:05,501
for not killing you, Chad.
373
00:15:05,569 --> 00:15:09,005
And that you will have
a long, long, long life.
374
00:15:09,073 --> 00:15:12,008
You have such a vast future ahead of you.
375
00:15:12,076 --> 00:15:14,510
You'll meet so many
new and different women.
376
00:15:14,578 --> 00:15:17,213
So many wonderful women to go out with
377
00:15:17,281 --> 00:15:20,049
and break up with
378
00:15:20,117 --> 00:15:21,417
and move on from.
379
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,386
You should be thankful that this table is
380
00:15:23,454 --> 00:15:26,089
too long for me to reach
across and strangle you, bitch!
381
00:15:26,156 --> 00:15:27,991
(gasps) Excuse me,
382
00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:29,425
but another guest has arrived.
383
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,028
A lady by the name of... Hester.
384
00:15:32,096 --> 00:15:34,430
Oh, God, no, no, no, no!
385
00:15:34,498 --> 00:15:35,698
(gasps)
386
00:15:35,766 --> 00:15:37,600
Happy Thanksgiving, Radwells.
387
00:15:37,668 --> 00:15:39,202
I'm sorry I'm late.
388
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:40,036
Oh, God.
389
00:15:40,104 --> 00:15:41,537
What did I miss?
390
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:48,835
I hope I haven't kept you waiting.
391
00:15:48,891 --> 00:15:52,272
- I'm famished.
- I beg your pardon.
392
00:15:52,340 --> 00:15:53,807
But who are you?
393
00:15:53,875 --> 00:15:55,442
Uh, she is
394
00:15:55,510 --> 00:15:57,077
my-my sober coach.
395
00:15:57,145 --> 00:15:58,645
What?
396
00:15:58,713 --> 00:16:00,414
Chad, I didn't know you
had a drinking problem.
397
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:01,848
Neither did I.
398
00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:03,917
That is how insidious alcoholism is, Dad.
399
00:16:04,953 --> 00:16:05,953
That's true.
400
00:16:05,987 --> 00:16:07,421
Let me help you put this on your lap.
401
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:10,057
What are you doing here? How are you alive?
402
00:16:10,124 --> 00:16:11,858
Good thing I was wearing this
neck brace when you pushed me
403
00:16:11,926 --> 00:16:13,694
down the stairs, because it saved my life.
404
00:16:13,761 --> 00:16:15,495
And laying me on the
ground in the meat locker
405
00:16:15,563 --> 00:16:16,997
was the perfect thing to do.
406
00:16:17,065 --> 00:16:18,665
The hard slab of the cold steel
407
00:16:18,733 --> 00:16:20,233
curbed the swelling in my spinal column.
408
00:16:20,301 --> 00:16:21,868
When I woke up and regained consciousness,
409
00:16:21,936 --> 00:16:23,704
I felt better than ever.
410
00:16:23,771 --> 00:16:25,038
Really, I should be thanking you right now.
411
00:16:25,106 --> 00:16:26,673
That fall?
412
00:16:26,741 --> 00:16:28,208
It might have cured me
of my severe scoliosis.
413
00:16:28,276 --> 00:16:30,777
Dinner is served.
414
00:16:30,845 --> 00:16:33,380
Radwells?
415
00:16:33,448 --> 00:16:35,115
I have an announcement to make.
416
00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:38,251
This is a blessed occasion.
417
00:16:38,319 --> 00:16:40,587
Because I am carrying
418
00:16:40,655 --> 00:16:43,123
a little bit of each one of you
419
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:45,392
inside of me.
420
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:48,261
I have a little Radwell
421
00:16:48,329 --> 00:16:49,563
inside of me.
422
00:16:49,631 --> 00:16:52,232
I'm having Chad's baby!
423
00:16:52,300 --> 00:16:53,767
(groaning)
424
00:16:53,835 --> 00:16:55,669
- We're so happy.
- CHANEL: That's a lie!
425
00:16:55,737 --> 00:16:58,338
I saw her eat sushi, soft cheese and booze!
426
00:16:58,406 --> 00:17:00,374
Enough!
427
00:17:00,441 --> 00:17:03,877
Chad, I have never been so ashamed!
428
00:17:03,945 --> 00:17:06,813
You have besmirched the
Radwell family Thanksgiving
429
00:17:06,881 --> 00:17:09,716
by bringing home not one
430
00:17:09,784 --> 00:17:12,719
but two gold-digging hoochies!
431
00:17:12,787 --> 00:17:13,987
I'm sorry, but maybe you didn't hear me.
432
00:17:14,055 --> 00:17:16,757
I'm carrying your future grandchild!
433
00:17:16,824 --> 00:17:19,326
You listen to me, you swarthy little runt.
434
00:17:19,394 --> 00:17:20,994
We have an entire legal team
435
00:17:21,062 --> 00:17:22,829
at Bender, Bender & Stanwyk on retainer
436
00:17:22,897 --> 00:17:24,998
just to make spurious paternity claims
437
00:17:25,066 --> 00:17:28,735
like yours simply go away.
438
00:17:28,803 --> 00:17:30,771
(crying): But I'm carrying your son's seed.
439
00:17:30,838 --> 00:17:32,439
The only thing you're
carrying is water weight,
440
00:17:32,507 --> 00:17:35,275
you bloated little tramp.
441
00:17:35,343 --> 00:17:37,110
That's not a baby bump.
442
00:17:37,178 --> 00:17:39,012
That's a poo belly.
443
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,014
(echoing): Poo belly, poo belly,
444
00:17:41,082 --> 00:17:43,350
poo belly, poo belly...
445
00:17:43,418 --> 00:17:44,718
Now,
446
00:17:44,786 --> 00:17:46,019
would someone please
447
00:17:46,087 --> 00:17:48,355
pass me the stuffing?
448
00:17:48,423 --> 00:17:50,023
(all sigh)
449
00:17:50,091 --> 00:17:52,693
Wow, who knew it took
so long to cook a turkey?
450
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,529
All right, ladies, Weston,
let's head into the dining room,
451
00:17:55,596 --> 00:17:58,699
where we fill up on Peking
ravioli and charcuterie.
452
00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:00,867
I have a little game to play
453
00:18:00,935 --> 00:18:02,903
that's gonna make the time fly right by.
454
00:18:02,970 --> 00:18:04,838
Hmm.
455
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:07,374
Yes, it's simple.
456
00:18:07,442 --> 00:18:09,710
We're gonna go around,
and each of us is gonna
457
00:18:09,777 --> 00:18:13,213
make our case as to who we
think the Red Devil Killer is.
458
00:18:13,281 --> 00:18:14,715
I'll go first.
459
00:18:14,782 --> 00:18:16,683
I think we can all agree that
460
00:18:16,751 --> 00:18:17,984
one of the Red Devil Killers is Boone.
461
00:18:18,052 --> 00:18:19,486
I propose
462
00:18:19,554 --> 00:18:23,356
that the other Red Devil Killer is...
463
00:18:23,424 --> 00:18:24,858
Chanel 3.
464
00:18:24,926 --> 00:18:25,992
What?
465
00:18:26,060 --> 00:18:27,994
No, I've never killed anyone
466
00:18:28,062 --> 00:18:29,329
as far as I know.
467
00:18:29,397 --> 00:18:32,833
But your real daddy has, Baby Manson.
468
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,835
GRACE: Okay, there is no evidence at all
469
00:18:34,902 --> 00:18:37,370
that mass murder is genetic. Wait, her dad
470
00:18:37,438 --> 00:18:39,506
is Charles Manson...
How do I not know this?
471
00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:40,941
MUNSCH: I'm not saying it's anything more
472
00:18:41,008 --> 00:18:42,876
than pepper in the soup,
473
00:18:42,944 --> 00:18:45,879
seasoning for a big fat dish
474
00:18:45,947 --> 00:18:48,548
of well-cooked evidence. Such as?
475
00:18:48,616 --> 00:18:51,384
Item one... the chain
saw attack at Kappa.
476
00:18:51,452 --> 00:18:53,153
(screaming)
477
00:18:56,023 --> 00:18:58,525
I was probably the last one to wake up
478
00:18:58,593 --> 00:19:01,962
and come downstairs that night.
479
00:19:02,029 --> 00:19:04,297
I saw Chanel #3
480
00:19:04,365 --> 00:19:05,832
running up the back stairway,
481
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:07,701
face glowing with perspiration,
482
00:19:07,769 --> 00:19:10,804
trying to sneak into her room undetected.
483
00:19:10,872 --> 00:19:14,241
I would say that is more
than a little suspicious.
484
00:19:14,308 --> 00:19:15,842
I have bathroom shame issues.
485
00:19:15,910 --> 00:19:18,545
I always wait until everyone
is asleep and then I sneak
486
00:19:18,613 --> 00:19:20,573
down to poop in the little
powder room downstairs.
487
00:19:20,615 --> 00:19:22,749
That way, no one will disturb me.
488
00:19:22,817 --> 00:19:24,351
I usually wait a week
or so between movements,
489
00:19:24,418 --> 00:19:26,920
so it can be kind of an
intense workout... I sweat a lot.
490
00:19:26,988 --> 00:19:27,921
(coughs): Yeah, right.
491
00:19:27,989 --> 00:19:29,356
Um, okay, even still,
492
00:19:29,423 --> 00:19:30,724
how could she possibly be
493
00:19:30,792 --> 00:19:31,925
Charles Manson's daughter
494
00:19:31,993 --> 00:19:34,027
and one of the babies in the bathtub?
495
00:19:34,095 --> 00:19:35,929
I mean, don't we all agree that
those babies are the killers?
496
00:19:35,997 --> 00:19:37,364
Do we even have any evidence
497
00:19:37,431 --> 00:19:40,233
that this Manson story is true?
498
00:19:40,301 --> 00:19:43,804
How do we know she didn't just invent it
499
00:19:43,871 --> 00:19:47,307
just so we wouldn't
think she was the killer?
500
00:19:48,576 --> 00:19:50,577
Goose.
501
00:19:50,645 --> 00:19:52,946
That seems like an unnecessarily
complicated cover story.
502
00:19:53,014 --> 00:19:55,916
Yes, but aren't those the best kind?
503
00:19:55,983 --> 00:19:58,852
I think we have plenty here
504
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,187
to go to the police.
505
00:20:00,254 --> 00:20:02,622
Let's see how innocent Chanel 3 looks
506
00:20:02,690 --> 00:20:04,090
when they start to dig a little.
507
00:20:04,158 --> 00:20:05,025
Hold the phone, Dean Munsch.
508
00:20:05,092 --> 00:20:06,927
I'd like to play, too.
509
00:20:06,994 --> 00:20:08,295
And the person I think it is
510
00:20:08,362 --> 00:20:10,030
is you.
511
00:20:11,098 --> 00:20:12,199
(door closes)
512
00:20:12,266 --> 00:20:13,934
CHANEL: Hello, Mother, it's me.
513
00:20:14,001 --> 00:20:15,702
Chanel Oberlin!
514
00:20:15,770 --> 00:20:17,204
Your daughter?
515
00:20:17,271 --> 00:20:18,772
What, are you drunk?
516
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,642
Okay, drunk on wine is still drunk, Mother.
517
00:20:22,710 --> 00:20:24,911
You know what, never mind.
518
00:20:24,979 --> 00:20:27,747
You know, the one time I
call you for a little advice,
519
00:20:27,815 --> 00:20:30,984
you're hammered.
520
00:20:31,052 --> 00:20:33,220
Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.
521
00:20:38,993 --> 00:20:42,762
I suppose we should discuss
the matter of payment.
522
00:20:42,830 --> 00:20:43,910
What are you talking about?
523
00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,333
I'm asking you to name your price.
524
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,734
My price?
525
00:20:47,802 --> 00:20:49,903
Are you propositioning me?
526
00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:52,105
No, I'm asking how much money it'll take
527
00:20:52,173 --> 00:20:54,474
to make you go away.
528
00:20:54,542 --> 00:20:55,876
You seem to be unaware, sir,
529
00:20:55,943 --> 00:20:57,611
that an Oberlin cannot be bought.
530
00:20:57,678 --> 00:20:59,613
My family is super-gross rich.
531
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,114
(laughs)
532
00:21:01,182 --> 00:21:02,682
Look at how you've chosen to dress.
533
00:21:02,750 --> 00:21:05,018
That outfit screams desperation.
534
00:21:07,088 --> 00:21:08,688
You're trash, Chanel.
535
00:21:08,756 --> 00:21:10,857
Which means your family's trash, too.
536
00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:13,360
And I'll tell you one thing
right now, you will never
537
00:21:13,427 --> 00:21:15,395
get your hands on the Radwell fortune.
538
00:21:15,463 --> 00:21:17,364
I am, however,
539
00:21:17,431 --> 00:21:19,199
willing to write you a check
540
00:21:19,267 --> 00:21:21,568
for $50,000
541
00:21:21,636 --> 00:21:24,037
if you will leave now and never come back.
542
00:21:24,105 --> 00:21:25,772
(scoffs)
543
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:27,040
It's a lot of money
for a family like yours.
544
00:21:27,108 --> 00:21:28,909
They could use it to
buy another Olive Garden
545
00:21:28,976 --> 00:21:31,411
or whatever it is they do.
546
00:21:31,479 --> 00:21:33,914
(laughs)
547
00:21:36,651 --> 00:21:39,419
Oh, let me ask you a question.
548
00:21:39,487 --> 00:21:42,088
What is the best part about Thanksgiving?
549
00:21:42,156 --> 00:21:43,757
The leftovers.
550
00:21:43,824 --> 00:21:45,458
What do you do if you can't
wait till the next morning
551
00:21:45,526 --> 00:21:47,060
to eat those leftovers?
552
00:21:47,128 --> 00:21:49,562
You turn those leftovers into dessert.
553
00:21:49,630 --> 00:21:52,299
What about the pumpkin pie?
554
00:21:52,366 --> 00:21:55,969
Uh, okay, once you've had Savory
Leftover Aspic ? la Radwell,
555
00:21:56,037 --> 00:21:58,905
you'll never want pumpkin pie ever again.
556
00:21:58,973 --> 00:22:02,375
Tastes like Henry VIII
just barfed in my mouth.
557
00:22:02,443 --> 00:22:03,376
CHANEL: Chad!
558
00:22:03,444 --> 00:22:04,544
Your father
559
00:22:04,612 --> 00:22:06,046
just offered me $50,000
560
00:22:06,113 --> 00:22:07,280
to leave the house and never come back.
561
00:22:07,348 --> 00:22:09,549
Well, I don't want to
sound like a dick here,
562
00:22:09,617 --> 00:22:12,085
but have you ever considered
maybe you should leave?
563
00:22:12,153 --> 00:22:14,120
I mean, with you and Hester
here, this Thanksgiving,
564
00:22:14,188 --> 00:22:15,922
it's spiraling out of control.
565
00:22:15,990 --> 00:22:17,390
And later tonight, we're
about to get together
566
00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:18,925
and play Pictionary, and as it stands now,
567
00:22:18,993 --> 00:22:20,794
that game of Pictionary
is gonna be super awkward.
568
00:22:20,861 --> 00:22:22,295
You can't be serious.
569
00:22:22,363 --> 00:22:24,464
I am serious, Chanel, and uberconfused.
570
00:22:24,532 --> 00:22:25,899
Hester here, who is super weird
571
00:22:25,967 --> 00:22:27,667
and an obvious psychopath,
572
00:22:27,735 --> 00:22:28,835
she says she's pregnant.
573
00:22:28,903 --> 00:22:30,023
You said she's not pregnant.
574
00:22:30,071 --> 00:22:31,104
You said she was dead,
575
00:22:31,172 --> 00:22:32,505
she says she's not dead.
576
00:22:32,573 --> 00:22:33,840
I'm kind of inclined to believe her.
577
00:22:33,908 --> 00:22:35,375
Plus, are you gonna make, like, a habit
578
00:22:35,443 --> 00:22:36,977
of just, like, pushing
people down the stairs?
579
00:22:37,044 --> 00:22:38,478
'Cause I think we can agree,
580
00:22:38,546 --> 00:22:41,114
not the most adult form of
conflict resolution, Chanel.
581
00:22:41,182 --> 00:22:42,215
(clears throat)
582
00:22:42,283 --> 00:22:43,483
Ladies and gentlemen,
583
00:22:43,551 --> 00:22:45,719
dessert is served.
584
00:22:45,786 --> 00:22:46,886
Oh.
585
00:22:46,954 --> 00:22:48,555
Mom, Dad!
586
00:22:48,622 --> 00:22:50,123
Thad, Brad!
587
00:22:50,191 --> 00:22:52,559
I'm trying to get my aspic on!
588
00:22:53,794 --> 00:22:56,329
Now that I have my snacks,
589
00:22:56,397 --> 00:22:58,565
you may begin with your
clearly desperate attempt
590
00:22:58,632 --> 00:23:00,333
to prove I'm a killer.
591
00:23:00,401 --> 00:23:02,002
Oh, wait.
592
00:23:02,069 --> 00:23:05,171
Weston, would you mind opening
a bottle of red for mama?
593
00:23:05,239 --> 00:23:06,573
(sighs)
594
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:07,974
CHANEL 5: Hey, all!
595
00:23:08,042 --> 00:23:10,110
I brought some of my famous
596
00:23:10,177 --> 00:23:11,845
eight-meat stuffing.
597
00:23:11,912 --> 00:23:14,381
It's beef, venison,
alligator, buffalo, rabbit,
598
00:23:14,448 --> 00:23:16,683
goat, rattlesnake and Spam.
599
00:23:16,751 --> 00:23:17,851
I cut all of the meats
600
00:23:17,918 --> 00:23:19,019
super thin,
601
00:23:19,086 --> 00:23:20,453
so that you're guaranteed
602
00:23:20,521 --> 00:23:21,955
every meat in every bite.
603
00:23:22,023 --> 00:23:23,263
When'd you get here, Chanel #5?
604
00:23:23,290 --> 00:23:24,791
I thought you said
605
00:23:24,859 --> 00:23:26,559
you were leaving forever
or something like that?
606
00:23:26,627 --> 00:23:28,728
She says stuff like that but
never really follows through.
607
00:23:28,796 --> 00:23:31,865
Well, I, um, I actually did go home,
608
00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:33,466
but apparently my family forgot to tell me
609
00:23:33,534 --> 00:23:35,735
that they were going to
the Maldives this year
610
00:23:35,803 --> 00:23:36,903
for Thanksgiving, so...
611
00:23:39,106 --> 00:23:40,240
I'm fine.
612
00:23:40,307 --> 00:23:41,408
CHANEL 3: Sure, whatever.
613
00:23:41,475 --> 00:23:43,243
You came just in time
614
00:23:43,310 --> 00:23:45,578
for me to tell everyone
why I know that Dean Munsch
615
00:23:45,646 --> 00:23:47,080
is the killer.
616
00:23:47,148 --> 00:23:48,715
Who is the only person we know
617
00:23:48,783 --> 00:23:50,950
who has a more clear and
obvious motive for killing Kappas
618
00:23:51,018 --> 00:23:52,786
"then" Dean Munsch?
619
00:23:52,853 --> 00:23:54,554
Than Dean Munsch.
620
00:23:54,622 --> 00:23:55,422
Than.
621
00:23:55,489 --> 00:23:57,223
Not then...
Than.
622
00:23:57,291 --> 00:23:58,458
Have you ever
623
00:23:58,526 --> 00:24:00,226
even cracked open a book?
624
00:24:00,294 --> 00:24:01,828
Or attended a class?
625
00:24:01,896 --> 00:24:03,997
(chuckles) God.
626
00:24:04,065 --> 00:24:05,198
I hate you people.
627
00:24:05,266 --> 00:24:06,900
Exactly. You hate sororities
628
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,368
and you hate Kappa Kappa Tau,
629
00:24:08,436 --> 00:24:09,836
and when you couldn't
just kick us off campus,
630
00:24:09,904 --> 00:24:11,671
you made sure no one pledged but losers,
631
00:24:11,739 --> 00:24:13,840
and then started removing us from school
632
00:24:13,908 --> 00:24:17,043
the only way you could: murder.
633
00:24:17,111 --> 00:24:19,112
She has a point, Dean Munsch.
634
00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:20,447
You were there that night
635
00:24:20,514 --> 00:24:22,082
in Kappa 20 years ago,
636
00:24:22,149 --> 00:24:23,450
and no one knows what happened
637
00:24:23,517 --> 00:24:25,051
to the babies.
638
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,087
It makes sense that you
could have taken them
639
00:24:27,154 --> 00:24:28,721
and raised them as your killer pawns
640
00:24:28,789 --> 00:24:30,590
in service of getting revenge on a place
641
00:24:30,658 --> 00:24:32,859
that you consider to be evil.
642
00:24:32,927 --> 00:24:34,360
Really, that's quite a reach.
643
00:24:34,428 --> 00:24:35,695
Not really.
644
00:24:35,763 --> 00:24:36,863
You did say
645
00:24:36,931 --> 00:24:37,864
just the other day
646
00:24:37,932 --> 00:24:39,065
that the only way to live
647
00:24:39,133 --> 00:24:40,600
is to play the long game.
648
00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:42,368
Spending 20 years plotting for payback
649
00:24:42,436 --> 00:24:44,437
on a crime you consider to be horrible
650
00:24:44,505 --> 00:24:46,272
is exactly the kind of thing
651
00:24:46,340 --> 00:24:47,874
that you would do.
652
00:24:47,942 --> 00:24:49,275
And of course you would wait
653
00:24:49,343 --> 00:24:51,144
until the daughter of the
ringleader of that crime
654
00:24:51,212 --> 00:24:52,946
arrived on campus.
655
00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:54,581
I really hope
656
00:24:54,648 --> 00:24:57,083
you can come up with
something better than that.
657
00:24:57,151 --> 00:24:58,785
Oh, I can.
658
00:24:58,853 --> 00:25:00,753
I can prove that you're
the only person in this room
659
00:25:00,821 --> 00:25:02,388
we know for a fact is a murderer.
660
00:25:02,456 --> 00:25:04,390
I saw you in the coffee shop the other day,
661
00:25:04,458 --> 00:25:07,260
reading one of your old Playgirl magazines.
662
00:25:07,328 --> 00:25:08,561
I didn't look that closely,
663
00:25:08,629 --> 00:25:10,396
but what I did see was your meal.
664
00:25:10,464 --> 00:25:11,865
Baked Lays,
665
00:25:11,932 --> 00:25:13,967
a pickle wedge, a Blondie,
666
00:25:14,034 --> 00:25:16,136
and a half-eaten bologna sandwich.
667
00:25:16,203 --> 00:25:17,537
Wait.
668
00:25:17,605 --> 00:25:18,905
You are allergic to bologna.
669
00:25:18,973 --> 00:25:20,306
That's the whole reason they knew
670
00:25:20,374 --> 00:25:21,908
you didn't kill your ex-husband.
671
00:25:21,976 --> 00:25:23,776
No, you can't be allergic to bologna
672
00:25:23,844 --> 00:25:25,078
or any other lunch meat.
673
00:25:25,146 --> 00:25:26,346
People who are allergic to those things
674
00:25:26,413 --> 00:25:28,081
are affected by the sulfites in them,
675
00:25:28,149 --> 00:25:29,582
which are plentiful
676
00:25:29,650 --> 00:25:31,784
in the Spam that's in my stuffing
677
00:25:31,852 --> 00:25:34,020
that you're eating right now.
678
00:25:34,088 --> 00:25:36,122
And in the red wine you're
washing it down with.
679
00:25:36,190 --> 00:25:38,024
Feel free to call the
police now, Dean Munsch,
680
00:25:38,092 --> 00:25:40,860
or I'd be perfectly happy to do it for you.
681
00:25:40,928 --> 00:25:41,928
Wait.
682
00:25:47,101 --> 00:25:49,035
There's something I need to say first.
683
00:25:49,103 --> 00:25:50,803
Something that's been...
684
00:25:50,871 --> 00:25:53,173
eating at me for the longest time.
685
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,008
Now, I'm not saying
686
00:25:55,075 --> 00:25:56,809
I know who the killer is,
687
00:25:56,877 --> 00:25:59,379
but I just-just want to talk it through.
688
00:25:59,446 --> 00:26:03,483
What? Dad, who do you think the killer is?
689
00:26:03,551 --> 00:26:06,753
I'm sorry, Gracie,
690
00:26:06,820 --> 00:26:09,756
but I think the killer might be...
691
00:26:09,823 --> 00:26:11,758
you.
692
00:26:26,425 --> 00:26:28,933
Dad, could you honestly think
that I'm the killer?
693
00:26:28,956 --> 00:26:30,824
Look, I don't want you to be, honey.
694
00:26:30,892 --> 00:26:32,893
Okay, look, there's just some stuff
695
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,561
that doesn't add up.
696
00:26:34,629 --> 00:26:36,363
Look, I've gone through
all the suspects in my mind,
697
00:26:36,430 --> 00:26:38,031
and I can explain away all my suspicions
698
00:26:38,099 --> 00:26:39,566
for everyone except you.
699
00:26:39,634 --> 00:26:41,201
Can we just talk this out,
700
00:26:41,269 --> 00:26:44,037
so you can help me see that I'm wrong?
701
00:26:44,105 --> 00:26:45,572
Turkey isn't ready yet.
702
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:46,373
(scoffs)
703
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,041
Actually,
704
00:26:48,109 --> 00:26:49,709
I kind of think that she's the killer, too.
705
00:26:49,777 --> 00:26:51,378
I mean, it would fit in with your whole
706
00:26:51,445 --> 00:26:53,380
hard worker, let's find out the truth,
707
00:26:53,447 --> 00:26:56,950
never take no for an
answer, awful personality.
708
00:26:57,018 --> 00:26:59,052
Do you expect us to believe
that when your dad told you
709
00:26:59,120 --> 00:27:00,420
that your mom died in a fire,
710
00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:01,821
you would just accept it
711
00:27:01,889 --> 00:27:03,056
and move on with your life?
712
00:27:03,124 --> 00:27:04,724
CHANEL 3: This does raise some questions.
713
00:27:04,792 --> 00:27:06,526
You are kind of obsessed with your mom.
714
00:27:06,594 --> 00:27:08,261
You drone on about it endlessly.
715
00:27:08,329 --> 00:27:09,696
CHANEL 5: You know what I think?
716
00:27:09,764 --> 00:27:11,932
I think you did find out who your mom was
717
00:27:11,999 --> 00:27:13,733
and that she was awful and responsible
718
00:27:13,801 --> 00:27:15,068
for Kappa's greatest shame,
719
00:27:15,136 --> 00:27:17,003
the death of the girl in the bathtub.
720
00:27:17,071 --> 00:27:18,405
And that you hated the fact
721
00:27:18,472 --> 00:27:19,906
that the face of Kappa's evil
722
00:27:19,974 --> 00:27:21,675
was this woman who you idolized.
723
00:27:21,742 --> 00:27:23,410
So you swore to come to Wallace
724
00:27:23,477 --> 00:27:26,012
and create an even
bigger, even worse bogeyman
725
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,847
to represent Kappa,
726
00:27:27,915 --> 00:27:29,049
the Red Devil.
727
00:27:29,116 --> 00:27:30,417
Anything to redeem
728
00:27:30,484 --> 00:27:32,085
your beloved dead mother.
729
00:27:32,153 --> 00:27:34,888
Hmm, makes a lot of sense
that that is your theory,
730
00:27:34,956 --> 00:27:36,276
Number Five, because it's insane.
731
00:27:36,324 --> 00:27:37,724
That makes no sense.
732
00:27:37,792 --> 00:27:39,226
GRACE: Pete?
733
00:27:39,293 --> 00:27:41,094
I thought you were with your family.
734
00:27:41,162 --> 00:27:42,729
I can't rest when the
killer's still out there,
735
00:27:42,797 --> 00:27:44,097
so I stayed behind to
do some more research.
736
00:27:44,165 --> 00:27:45,732
But how did you know we were here?
737
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:47,234
Zayday has been
live-tweeting the whole night,
738
00:27:47,301 --> 00:27:49,135
and I know everything you
guys have been talking about,
739
00:27:49,203 --> 00:27:50,437
and you're all wrong.
740
00:27:50,504 --> 00:27:51,771
I know who the killer is,
741
00:27:51,839 --> 00:27:52,973
and it's not Grace.
742
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:54,107
Hey, get in line, okay?
743
00:27:55,176 --> 00:27:56,409
I'm going first.
744
00:27:56,477 --> 00:27:58,111
Okay, fine, Dad, you go first,
745
00:27:58,179 --> 00:27:59,279
then Pete can go.
746
00:27:59,347 --> 00:28:00,947
All right, here's what I have.
747
00:28:01,015 --> 00:28:02,282
Grace, you were the only pledge
748
00:28:02,350 --> 00:28:03,850
that wasn't buried up to her neck
749
00:28:03,918 --> 00:28:06,052
the night the deaf Taylor
Swift was decapitated.
750
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,687
And you know that girl, Mandy,
751
00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:09,322
who was there that night in the bathtub
752
00:28:09,390 --> 00:28:11,391
and then ended up dead
at Zayday's haunted house?
753
00:28:11,459 --> 00:28:13,059
Well, no one knew anything about her
754
00:28:13,127 --> 00:28:15,328
or where she was for 20 years.
755
00:28:15,396 --> 00:28:16,997
And then when you saw her that night,
756
00:28:17,064 --> 00:28:19,899
well, she ended up stabbed to death.
757
00:28:19,967 --> 00:28:23,003
Pete was there, too, and he also
wasn't buried with the pledges.
758
00:28:23,070 --> 00:28:24,004
Yes, I know.
759
00:28:24,071 --> 00:28:26,406
Which is why I find this stuff
760
00:28:26,474 --> 00:28:27,674
just interesting.
761
00:28:27,742 --> 00:28:28,842
But what's worrisome to me
762
00:28:28,909 --> 00:28:30,010
is that
763
00:28:30,077 --> 00:28:31,511
I checked the calendar to see
764
00:28:31,579 --> 00:28:32,846
which days you did your class visit
765
00:28:32,913 --> 00:28:34,114
to Wallace last year.
766
00:28:34,181 --> 00:28:36,516
It was March 24 to the 26th.
767
00:28:36,584 --> 00:28:39,152
Wait a minute, March 25, I know that date.
768
00:28:39,220 --> 00:28:40,987
That's the date that Melanie Dorkus,
769
00:28:41,055 --> 00:28:42,188
the former president
770
00:28:42,256 --> 00:28:44,858
of Kappa Kappa Tau,
was horribly disfigured,
771
00:28:44,925 --> 00:28:47,861
when someone put acid in her spray tan.
772
00:28:47,928 --> 00:28:50,130
And right before she
passed out from the pain,
773
00:28:50,197 --> 00:28:53,300
she said that she saw
someone in a Red Devil costume
774
00:28:53,367 --> 00:28:54,534
standing over her.
775
00:28:54,602 --> 00:28:57,137
Wait, we saw you there that day.
776
00:28:57,204 --> 00:28:59,306
Oh, I remember now.
777
00:28:59,373 --> 00:29:01,207
CHANEL: No, please don't do this to me.
778
00:29:01,275 --> 00:29:02,976
Don't you want me to spray-tan you?
779
00:29:03,044 --> 00:29:03,977
I have it all ready.
780
00:29:04,045 --> 00:29:06,146
MELANIE: No, Chanel, I would honestly
781
00:29:06,213 --> 00:29:07,247
rather not have you around.
782
00:29:07,315 --> 00:29:09,249
(door slams)
783
00:29:17,758 --> 00:29:19,758
CHANEL 5: Who are you and
what are you doing here?
784
00:29:19,794 --> 00:29:21,494
Hi.
785
00:29:21,562 --> 00:29:23,396
Wow, are you guys sisters here?
786
00:29:23,464 --> 00:29:24,998
That is so cool.
787
00:29:25,066 --> 00:29:26,099
I'm an incoming freshman,
788
00:29:26,167 --> 00:29:27,867
and I was just checking out the campus,
789
00:29:27,935 --> 00:29:29,369
and I was desperate to see
the inside of this place.
790
00:29:29,437 --> 00:29:31,338
I'm hoping to pledge when I matriculate.
791
00:29:31,405 --> 00:29:33,006
You're skinny and pretty, so that's a plus,
792
00:29:33,074 --> 00:29:35,675
but it's highly competitive,
so you'd better be rich, too.
793
00:29:35,743 --> 00:29:37,010
Then you guys kicked me out.
794
00:29:37,078 --> 00:29:38,745
Yeah.
Good times.
795
00:29:38,813 --> 00:29:40,046
WES: There is one other thing.
796
00:29:40,114 --> 00:29:42,215
You know how at the beginning of the year,
797
00:29:42,283 --> 00:29:44,017
I was always secretly following you
798
00:29:44,085 --> 00:29:45,518
so I could just keep an eye on you,
799
00:29:45,586 --> 00:29:46,586
make sure you were safe?
800
00:29:46,654 --> 00:29:48,188
Stalker.
801
00:29:48,255 --> 00:29:51,424
Well, one night I was #Being a Good Father,
802
00:29:51,492 --> 00:29:53,126
and I was looking out for you.
803
00:29:55,496 --> 00:29:58,064
I heard you talking to someone,
804
00:29:58,132 --> 00:30:00,300
but I couldn't hear what it was about.
805
00:30:00,368 --> 00:30:03,203
And when I peeked around that wall,
806
00:30:03,270 --> 00:30:06,039
I almost fainted from what I saw.
807
00:30:06,107 --> 00:30:08,708
Oh, no, Dad, that was
Pete. Yeah, that was me.
808
00:30:08,776 --> 00:30:10,076
What?
809
00:30:10,144 --> 00:30:12,212
Okay, we had plans to hand out flyers
810
00:30:12,279 --> 00:30:13,279
to see if anyone had
811
00:30:13,347 --> 00:30:14,614
any information about the Red Devil,
812
00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:16,049
and since Pete already had the costume,
813
00:30:16,117 --> 00:30:17,150
we thought it would be a good idea
814
00:30:17,218 --> 00:30:18,918
for people to see what he looked like.
815
00:30:18,986 --> 00:30:20,086
Yeah, but we didn't carry
through with the plan.
816
00:30:20,154 --> 00:30:22,756
Oh, thick as thieves, you two.
817
00:30:22,823 --> 00:30:24,157
It's amazing
818
00:30:24,225 --> 00:30:25,625
how he's Grace's alibi
819
00:30:25,693 --> 00:30:26,826
for so many of the horrible murders.
820
00:30:26,894 --> 00:30:29,095
Okay, I-I am now convinced
821
00:30:29,163 --> 00:30:30,930
that the murderer is not
822
00:30:30,998 --> 00:30:32,132
Nut Bag 3
823
00:30:32,199 --> 00:30:34,334
but is indeed Grace.
824
00:30:34,402 --> 00:30:36,136
No, I am not.
825
00:30:36,203 --> 00:30:37,604
No, no, she's not.
826
00:30:37,671 --> 00:30:40,106
And now I'm sure of it.
827
00:30:40,174 --> 00:30:42,308
Thank you for letting me talk about this,
828
00:30:42,376 --> 00:30:44,310
talk this out, and hear
your side of the story.
829
00:30:44,378 --> 00:30:46,212
I'm so relieved. Don't talk to me.
830
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,047
Of course she's not
the killer, Mr. Gardner,
831
00:30:48,115 --> 00:30:50,817
and look, I know this is kind of awkward,
832
00:30:50,885 --> 00:30:52,245
because I am dating your daughter,
833
00:30:52,286 --> 00:30:53,720
and I would really love
834
00:30:53,788 --> 00:30:55,221
to get your approval on this,
835
00:30:55,289 --> 00:30:58,057
but you, sir, are the Red Devil Killer.
836
00:31:00,928 --> 00:31:02,128
Chanel, Hester,
837
00:31:02,196 --> 00:31:03,596
I'm really sorry about this.
838
00:31:03,664 --> 00:31:05,098
I personally don't think
these teams are fair,
839
00:31:05,166 --> 00:31:06,533
but honestly, I did warn you,
840
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:08,802
so if this gets super awkward, it's on you.
841
00:31:08,869 --> 00:31:09,936
Good luck.
842
00:31:10,004 --> 00:31:11,104
When next we speak,
843
00:31:11,172 --> 00:31:13,106
it will be as adversaries.
844
00:31:15,276 --> 00:31:18,711
Well, just a quick overview of the rules.
845
00:31:18,779 --> 00:31:20,213
You pick a card
846
00:31:20,281 --> 00:31:21,548
and then you draw the word on the board
847
00:31:21,615 --> 00:31:22,816
using little pictures.
848
00:31:22,883 --> 00:31:25,018
No talking or gesturing,
849
00:31:25,085 --> 00:31:27,887
and your team has to guess
it before the time runs out.
850
00:31:27,955 --> 00:31:30,089
Brad, why don't you start us off?
851
00:31:30,157 --> 00:31:31,491
Come on, Brad! Come on, Brad!
852
00:31:31,559 --> 00:31:32,992
(cheering, whooping)
853
00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:35,228
Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad! Brad!
854
00:31:35,296 --> 00:31:36,396
Come on! You can do this!
855
00:31:37,832 --> 00:31:40,166
(whooping continues)
856
00:31:47,641 --> 00:31:48,575
And...
857
00:31:48,642 --> 00:31:50,176
go.
858
00:31:51,245 --> 00:31:52,745
CHAD: Uh...
859
00:31:52,813 --> 00:31:53,580
Hester.
860
00:31:53,647 --> 00:31:55,114
Um, homely, ugly.
861
00:31:55,182 --> 00:31:56,749
Gold digger! Not welcome.
862
00:31:56,817 --> 00:31:58,852
Oh, unattractive short person.
863
00:31:58,919 --> 00:32:01,254
Poo belly. Is it poo belly?
864
00:32:01,322 --> 00:32:02,956
I thought you couldn't gesture?
865
00:32:03,023 --> 00:32:04,503
He wasn't gesturing, he was pointing.
866
00:32:05,426 --> 00:32:07,060
Uh, doesn't belong here.
867
00:32:07,127 --> 00:32:08,394
Should have left hours ago.
868
00:32:08,462 --> 00:32:11,598
Um, uh, bird. Turkey.
869
00:32:11,665 --> 00:32:13,032
BUNNY: Turkey neck! Neck waddle.
870
00:32:13,100 --> 00:32:14,767
Uh, girl
871
00:32:14,835 --> 00:32:15,602
with a weird, big neck.
872
00:32:15,669 --> 00:32:16,736
CHAD: Oh, no, um, uh,
873
00:32:16,804 --> 00:32:18,238
neck brace! Neck brace!
874
00:32:18,305 --> 00:32:20,206
Ah!
Yes!
875
00:32:20,274 --> 00:32:21,207
TAD: Second word, second word.
876
00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:23,243
BUNNY: Sounds like...
877
00:32:23,310 --> 00:32:24,377
That's a gesture.
878
00:32:24,445 --> 00:32:26,546
That is a gesture. Oh, shh.
879
00:32:26,614 --> 00:32:28,214
CHAD: Bed, bed, uh, bed, bed.
880
00:32:28,282 --> 00:32:29,382
Sounds like bed, uh, sleep.
881
00:32:29,450 --> 00:32:30,583
Uh, dead!
882
00:32:30,651 --> 00:32:31,718
Dead neck brace girl.
883
00:32:31,785 --> 00:32:33,052
Overfed!
884
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,255
Overfed girl with a neck brace.
885
00:32:35,322 --> 00:32:37,457
No, no, too chunky to wear that outfit.
886
00:32:37,525 --> 00:32:38,258
CHAD: Uh, uh...
887
00:32:38,325 --> 00:32:39,092
Yeah?
888
00:32:39,159 --> 00:32:39,826
No, no.
889
00:32:39,894 --> 00:32:41,261
Sleeping.
890
00:32:41,328 --> 00:32:42,262
Uh, snore.
891
00:32:42,329 --> 00:32:43,429
Snore, uh, uh,
892
00:32:43,497 --> 00:32:44,297
um, um,
893
00:32:44,365 --> 00:32:45,665
whore!
894
00:32:45,733 --> 00:32:47,066
Neck brace whore!
895
00:32:47,134 --> 00:32:48,234
(cheering)
896
00:32:51,138 --> 00:32:52,238
Neck brace whore!
897
00:32:55,042 --> 00:32:57,076
I'm sorry, but someone needs to contact
898
00:32:57,144 --> 00:32:59,913
the good people at Hasbro,
because the odds of you picking
899
00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:01,080
neck brace whore
900
00:33:01,148 --> 00:33:02,181
are astronomical.
901
00:33:02,249 --> 00:33:03,917
I'm fairly certain
902
00:33:03,984 --> 00:33:05,852
this board game's been tampered with.
903
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:07,020
Chanel, I don't want to
be, like, a rules stickler,
904
00:33:07,087 --> 00:33:08,354
but teams are not really
905
00:33:08,422 --> 00:33:10,062
supposed to be conversing between rounds.
906
00:33:10,124 --> 00:33:12,225
You will not shut me up this time, Chad.
907
00:33:12,293 --> 00:33:13,293
I have something to say.
908
00:33:14,361 --> 00:33:16,129
Hester,
909
00:33:16,196 --> 00:33:17,430
I owe you an apology.
910
00:33:17,498 --> 00:33:19,732
Yes, I did push you down the stairs
911
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,635
in an attempt to murder you
and your fake unborn baby.
912
00:33:22,703 --> 00:33:23,970
And while my motivations
913
00:33:24,038 --> 00:33:25,772
were airtight and my conscience clear,
914
00:33:25,839 --> 00:33:27,774
still, I'm sorry.
915
00:33:27,841 --> 00:33:30,410
You, Chanel #6, are my sister,
916
00:33:30,477 --> 00:33:32,078
and that bond is stronger
917
00:33:32,146 --> 00:33:34,080
than some silly little
attempt on your life.
918
00:33:34,148 --> 00:33:35,915
Thank you.
919
00:33:35,983 --> 00:33:38,017
And furthermore, I'm
sorry that you had to sit
920
00:33:38,085 --> 00:33:41,120
through the most mean-spirited
game of Pictionary
921
00:33:41,188 --> 00:33:43,089
in the history of Pictionary.
922
00:33:43,157 --> 00:33:45,058
I mean, no one deserves
to be spoken to like that,
923
00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:47,660
particularly not by
what is, without a doubt,
924
00:33:47,728 --> 00:33:49,896
the most awful family in America.
925
00:33:49,964 --> 00:33:51,297
Chad,
926
00:33:51,365 --> 00:33:53,466
your leathery excuse for a mother
927
00:33:53,534 --> 00:33:56,135
looks like an ostrich-hide
clutch from last season
928
00:33:56,203 --> 00:33:57,570
that somehow learned to talk.
929
00:33:57,638 --> 00:33:59,138
And, Mr. Radwell,
930
00:33:59,206 --> 00:34:01,574
I have never seen anyone
spend so much money
931
00:34:01,642 --> 00:34:03,343
to make a house look this tacky.
932
00:34:03,410 --> 00:34:06,112
I've honestly seen more
tasteful decor at a Sizzler.
933
00:34:06,180 --> 00:34:08,181
And you, Thad,
934
00:34:08,248 --> 00:34:09,682
have a bright future ahead of you
935
00:34:09,750 --> 00:34:12,251
in the sex offender wing
of a supermax prison.
936
00:34:12,319 --> 00:34:14,087
And you, sir,
937
00:34:14,154 --> 00:34:15,588
give the kind,
938
00:34:15,656 --> 00:34:17,190
hard-working, deeply moral people
939
00:34:17,257 --> 00:34:18,791
who work in such a wonderful industry
940
00:34:18,859 --> 00:34:20,193
as Hollywood a bad name.
941
00:34:21,261 --> 00:34:22,795
And, Chad Radwell,
942
00:34:22,863 --> 00:34:24,564
whatever we had between us
943
00:34:24,632 --> 00:34:26,199
is over.
944
00:34:26,266 --> 00:34:27,867
I am walking out that door
945
00:34:27,935 --> 00:34:29,736
and never speaking to you again.
946
00:34:29,803 --> 00:34:32,038
You know you say that a lot, right?
947
00:34:32,106 --> 00:34:34,207
Well, consider this coming to my senses,
948
00:34:34,274 --> 00:34:36,042
because no woman in her right mind
949
00:34:36,110 --> 00:34:38,211
would want anything to do with this family.
950
00:34:39,446 --> 00:34:41,047
So good-bye, Chad.
Good-bye forever.
951
00:34:45,219 --> 00:34:47,053
Chanel, wait.
952
00:34:47,121 --> 00:34:48,554
I'm coming with you.
953
00:34:49,490 --> 00:34:50,757
Really?
Yes, yes, yes,
954
00:34:50,824 --> 00:34:51,958
all I've ever wanted
955
00:34:52,026 --> 00:34:53,126
is to be your sister.
956
00:34:53,193 --> 00:34:54,227
Fine.
957
00:34:54,294 --> 00:34:56,295
Let's hit the road, Number Six.
958
00:34:56,363 --> 00:34:57,730
We're going home.
959
00:35:03,376 --> 00:35:04,690
Tiburon looks good.
960
00:35:04,715 --> 00:35:06,525
Just another ten minutes or so, I think.
961
00:35:06,556 --> 00:35:07,459
What'd I miss?
962
00:35:07,503 --> 00:35:09,757
Pete was just about to ruin
any chances of marrying Grace
963
00:35:09,825 --> 00:35:11,092
by explaining why he thinks
her dad is the killer.
964
00:35:11,159 --> 00:35:12,159
PETE: Grace,
965
00:35:12,227 --> 00:35:13,928
this is really hard for me,
966
00:35:13,996 --> 00:35:15,763
but I'm an investigative journalist.
967
00:35:15,831 --> 00:35:16,931
So, like everyone else,
968
00:35:16,999 --> 00:35:18,332
I started with a motive.
969
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,001
Yours was easy, sir, 'cause you just
970
00:35:20,068 --> 00:35:22,003
keep on repeating it over and over again.
971
00:35:22,070 --> 00:35:23,638
More than anything, you
want to keep Grace safe,
972
00:35:23,705 --> 00:35:25,373
and as far as you're concerned,
the most dangerous thing
973
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,309
in her life is Kappa Kappa Tau.
974
00:35:28,377 --> 00:35:30,511
Now, you begged her not to join,
975
00:35:30,579 --> 00:35:32,480
but she didn't listen,
976
00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:33,981
so you had to find another way
977
00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:35,616
to keep her from becoming a sister,
978
00:35:35,684 --> 00:35:39,287
and what was the best way to do that? Hmm.
979
00:35:39,354 --> 00:35:41,956
To get Dean Munsch to shut down the house.
980
00:35:42,024 --> 00:35:43,124
And so you started killing sisters
981
00:35:43,191 --> 00:35:44,292
left and right until she did,
982
00:35:44,359 --> 00:35:46,460
but... you didn't count on the small fact
983
00:35:46,528 --> 00:35:48,496
that Dean Munsch over here
is such a coldhearted bitch.
984
00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:49,363
(chuckling)
985
00:35:49,431 --> 00:35:50,364
Sorry I'm not sorry.
986
00:35:50,432 --> 00:35:51,632
And the body count
987
00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:52,967
just kept rising and rising
988
00:35:53,035 --> 00:35:55,169
until you finally got her to surrender
989
00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:57,004
and shut the place down.
990
00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:59,006
But I could have just
pulled her out of school
991
00:35:59,074 --> 00:36:01,342
or, hell, even burned the house down
992
00:36:01,410 --> 00:36:03,477
before I would even
consider killing people.
993
00:36:03,545 --> 00:36:05,112
Well, you certainly had
the inside information
994
00:36:05,180 --> 00:36:06,614
to pull it off,
995
00:36:06,682 --> 00:36:09,116
at least when it came to Roger and Sam.
996
00:36:09,184 --> 00:36:12,119
See, uh, I was looking over
some of Kappa's yearbooks
997
00:36:12,187 --> 00:36:13,988
from the time of the bathtub incident,
998
00:36:14,056 --> 00:36:17,224
and I came across
something both interesting
999
00:36:17,292 --> 00:36:18,893
and deeply disturbing.
1000
00:36:18,961 --> 00:36:20,895
Your freshman year, Mr. Gardner,
1001
00:36:20,963 --> 00:36:21,963
Kappa had
1002
00:36:22,030 --> 00:36:23,731
a special night called
1003
00:36:23,799 --> 00:36:25,466
the Secret Kappa Tunnel Rager,
1004
00:36:25,534 --> 00:36:28,402
in which they brought down kegs
into the secret Kappa tunnels
1005
00:36:28,470 --> 00:36:30,137
and they did a huge party.
1006
00:36:30,205 --> 00:36:32,773
Well, there's pictures from
that night and the party.
1007
00:36:32,841 --> 00:36:34,709
Please take a look at who was there.
1008
00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:35,876
(gasps)
1009
00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:37,445
Oh, wow.
1010
00:36:37,512 --> 00:36:39,013
How could such a stud
1011
00:36:39,081 --> 00:36:40,614
evolve from a boy
1012
00:36:40,682 --> 00:36:42,183
who was so clearly a douche.
1013
00:36:42,250 --> 00:36:44,118
So you're saying if he
knew about the tunnel,
1014
00:36:44,186 --> 00:36:45,286
then he could've snuck into the house
1015
00:36:45,354 --> 00:36:47,021
the night we were all locked in.
1016
00:36:47,089 --> 00:36:48,889
Yeah.
1017
00:36:48,957 --> 00:36:52,626
Oh, please, look, I-I was
so bombed at that party.
1018
00:36:52,694 --> 00:36:54,462
I mean, I remember I puked
1019
00:36:54,529 --> 00:36:55,863
while I was making out
1020
00:36:55,931 --> 00:36:56,964
with some girl, but there is no way
1021
00:36:57,032 --> 00:36:58,199
that I could've found my way
1022
00:36:58,266 --> 00:36:59,700
back down there
1023
00:36:59,768 --> 00:37:01,435
20 minutes later, let alone 20 years.
1024
00:37:02,871 --> 00:37:03,904
That wasn't enough for me, either.
1025
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:04,905
So I kept on digging.
1026
00:37:04,973 --> 00:37:06,073
See, I couldn't
1027
00:37:06,141 --> 00:37:07,675
figure out how the bodies
1028
00:37:07,743 --> 00:37:08,743
in the meat locker
1029
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:10,244
just kept disappearing.
1030
00:37:10,312 --> 00:37:12,513
So I tapped into the secret cameras
1031
00:37:12,581 --> 00:37:14,281
Chanel had installed all over the house.
1032
00:37:14,349 --> 00:37:16,017
And you, sir,
1033
00:37:16,084 --> 00:37:18,252
are in the footage.
1034
00:37:20,188 --> 00:37:21,589
GRACE: Dad,
1035
00:37:21,656 --> 00:37:23,290
why would you do that?
1036
00:37:23,358 --> 00:37:26,093
This is really embarrassing,
1037
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:28,129
um, but I started the paleo diet,
1038
00:37:28,196 --> 00:37:29,930
because I'm back on the dating scene now,
1039
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:32,099
and I-I wanted to lose some weight.
1040
00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,934
But I'm on a teacher's salary,
and I can't afford meat,
1041
00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:35,102
and that freezer,
1042
00:37:35,170 --> 00:37:36,103
it's got chicken,
1043
00:37:36,171 --> 00:37:37,271
burgers, ribs,
1044
00:37:37,339 --> 00:37:38,939
there's whole sides of beef
1045
00:37:39,007 --> 00:37:40,775
just hanging on hooks, and
you girls don't even eat.
1046
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:41,976
So I figured I'd just make sure
1047
00:37:42,044 --> 00:37:43,277
that none of it went to waste.
1048
00:37:43,345 --> 00:37:46,447
So yes, I borrowed some meat.
1049
00:37:46,515 --> 00:37:48,115
I'll return it.
1050
00:37:48,183 --> 00:37:51,619
I never saw a body down there.
1051
00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:53,654
I actually have noticed
you leaning out a bit.
1052
00:37:53,722 --> 00:37:54,855
You look good.
1053
00:37:55,857 --> 00:37:57,124
Paleo diet. It works.
1054
00:37:57,192 --> 00:37:58,125
Paleo.
1055
00:37:58,193 --> 00:37:59,126
None of that
1056
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:00,461
prepared me
1057
00:38:00,529 --> 00:38:02,129
for what I discovered next.
1058
00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:03,464
See, uh,
1059
00:38:03,532 --> 00:38:04,972
I'm buddies with the county coroner.
1060
00:38:05,033 --> 00:38:06,567
Him and my brother used to sell
1061
00:38:06,635 --> 00:38:08,102
illegal fireworks in high school.
1062
00:38:08,170 --> 00:38:09,410
I bribed him with a bag of weed
1063
00:38:09,471 --> 00:38:11,739
to get some of Boone's hair.
1064
00:38:12,841 --> 00:38:13,941
This is the part
1065
00:38:14,009 --> 00:38:15,142
I'm kind of ashamed of.
1066
00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:16,977
MUNSCH: Wait a minute, there's a part
1067
00:38:17,045 --> 00:38:18,746
other than bribing a
government official with drugs
1068
00:38:18,814 --> 00:38:20,781
so that you can steal
the hair of a dead man
1069
00:38:20,849 --> 00:38:22,083
that you're ashamed of?
1070
00:38:22,150 --> 00:38:23,751
Well, I-I kind of
1071
00:38:23,819 --> 00:38:25,319
snuck into Mr. Gardner's apartment
1072
00:38:25,387 --> 00:38:27,822
to get some hair from his brush,
1073
00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:29,090
and I have a friend
1074
00:38:29,157 --> 00:38:30,277
who works at The Maury Show,
1075
00:38:30,325 --> 00:38:32,326
and I got him to run a quickie DNA test,
1076
00:38:32,394 --> 00:38:33,594
and...
1077
00:38:35,030 --> 00:38:36,931
I'm sorry to say, Mr. Gardner,
1078
00:38:36,998 --> 00:38:39,934
but you are the father.
1079
00:38:40,001 --> 00:38:41,335
GRACE: What? I'm-I'm sorry.
1080
00:38:41,403 --> 00:38:44,038
My dad is Boone's father?
1081
00:38:44,106 --> 00:38:45,806
Oh, my God. Dad?
1082
00:38:45,874 --> 00:38:47,475
Honey, Grace, I swear I had...
1083
00:38:47,542 --> 00:38:48,676
I had no idea.
1084
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:49,877
I mean,
1085
00:38:49,945 --> 00:38:51,212
it's not out of the question.
1086
00:38:51,279 --> 00:38:53,314
I-I was a bit of a man
slut back in the day,
1087
00:38:53,381 --> 00:38:55,049
and it was the '90s,
so nobody wore condoms.
1088
00:38:55,117 --> 00:38:56,016
(scoffs) Trust me.
1089
00:38:56,084 --> 00:38:57,318
(whimpers)
1090
00:38:57,385 --> 00:38:59,019
Which probably means
1091
00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:01,287
you're also the father of
the other baby in the bathtub.
1092
00:39:01,323 --> 00:39:02,857
I'm sorry, Mr. Gardner,
1093
00:39:02,924 --> 00:39:05,459
but this is what they
call an orgy of evidence.
1094
00:39:07,095 --> 00:39:09,196
I'm obligated to take it to the police.
1095
00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:11,465
Oh, my God.
1096
00:39:31,179 --> 00:39:32,580
I didn't know.
1097
00:39:32,647 --> 00:39:34,849
I swear.
1098
00:39:34,916 --> 00:39:37,351
And if I had, I would've
taken responsibility.
1099
00:39:37,419 --> 00:39:40,020
Of course you would have.
1100
00:39:40,088 --> 00:39:41,689
(sighs)
1101
00:39:41,756 --> 00:39:43,858
Pete's not gonna call the police.
1102
00:39:43,925 --> 00:39:45,192
I told him that you're my dad
1103
00:39:45,260 --> 00:39:48,329
and I know you.
1104
00:39:48,396 --> 00:39:50,331
I mean, those are my kids out there,
1105
00:39:50,398 --> 00:39:51,699
killing all those people.
1106
00:39:51,766 --> 00:39:53,367
Which is why we, more than anyone,
1107
00:39:53,435 --> 00:39:56,370
have to do everything we can
to find them and stop them.
1108
00:39:56,438 --> 00:39:59,073
You think you could do
it in the moment? Hmm?
1109
00:40:00,308 --> 00:40:01,709
Send your brother or your sister
1110
00:40:01,776 --> 00:40:03,210
off to the chair?
1111
00:40:03,278 --> 00:40:04,712
Maybe even kill them yourself?
1112
00:40:04,779 --> 00:40:07,481
To save my friends or you,
1113
00:40:07,549 --> 00:40:09,049
yes.
1114
00:40:10,385 --> 00:40:12,386
They are my blood,
1115
00:40:12,454 --> 00:40:15,055
but you and Zayday and even the Chanels,
1116
00:40:15,123 --> 00:40:16,557
all of the people
1117
00:40:16,625 --> 00:40:18,559
who I have suffered
through all of this with,
1118
00:40:18,627 --> 00:40:21,328
you are my family.
1119
00:40:21,396 --> 00:40:23,030
A highly dysfunctional family,
1120
00:40:23,098 --> 00:40:26,467
but... still.
1121
00:40:26,535 --> 00:40:27,735
(chuckles)
1122
00:40:27,802 --> 00:40:29,770
Come here.
1123
00:40:31,139 --> 00:40:33,474
(sighs)
1124
00:40:33,542 --> 00:40:35,409
(sighs)
1125
00:40:35,477 --> 00:40:37,244
What about everyone else?
1126
00:40:37,312 --> 00:40:39,146
I mean, there are some pretty
compelling cases being made
1127
00:40:39,214 --> 00:40:40,915
that someone down there is the killer.
1128
00:40:40,982 --> 00:40:44,318
Which is why no one is going
to the police about any of it.
1129
00:40:44,386 --> 00:40:46,921
And all tonight did was
prove that at this point,
1130
00:40:46,988 --> 00:40:48,422
it could be anyone,
1131
00:40:48,490 --> 00:40:49,823
except you and me, of course.
1132
00:40:49,891 --> 00:40:51,792
Oh, no, totally, totally. Yeah.
1133
00:40:51,860 --> 00:40:53,627
Five minutes to turkey time.
1134
00:40:53,695 --> 00:40:55,763
I just checked the timer personally.
1135
00:40:55,830 --> 00:40:57,431
Good.
1136
00:40:57,499 --> 00:41:00,467
And then Chad's dad offered me $50,000
1137
00:41:00,535 --> 00:41:02,136
to leave and never come back.
1138
00:41:02,204 --> 00:41:03,404
That's amazing.
1139
00:41:03,471 --> 00:41:04,572
What are you gonna do with the money?
1140
00:41:04,639 --> 00:41:06,574
I didn't take the money, idiot.
1141
00:41:06,641 --> 00:41:08,242
Um, okay, well,
1142
00:41:08,310 --> 00:41:10,077
you already left, so, basically,
1143
00:41:10,145 --> 00:41:12,213
you're out $50,000 for no reason.
1144
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:15,216
Chanel #3 and I are thrilled to announce
1145
00:41:15,283 --> 00:41:17,384
that Tiburon is ready to be served.
1146
00:41:17,452 --> 00:41:19,954
Uh, Chanel, would you at least
1147
00:41:20,021 --> 00:41:22,590
please give the illusion of trying to help?
1148
00:41:22,657 --> 00:41:24,225
Okay, first of all, I experienced
1149
00:41:24,292 --> 00:41:26,627
extreme emotional trauma this evening,
1150
00:41:26,695 --> 00:41:27,795
and second,
1151
00:41:27,862 --> 00:41:29,063
I'm the one delegating tasks,
1152
00:41:29,130 --> 00:41:30,798
thank you very much.
1153
00:41:30,865 --> 00:41:32,433
It's the most important job there is.
1154
00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:34,335
Plus, I'm saving my energy
1155
00:41:34,402 --> 00:41:36,270
for Black Friday
doorbusters tomorrow morning.
1156
00:41:36,338 --> 00:41:37,771
Um, ladies, excuse me, please.
1157
00:41:37,839 --> 00:41:39,773
I'm gonna go freshen up.
1158
00:41:39,841 --> 00:41:42,109
What took you so long?
1159
00:41:42,177 --> 00:41:43,944
I couldn't find any matches.
1160
00:41:44,012 --> 00:41:45,613
I thought there'd be
some in Jennifer's room,
1161
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,215
but I ended up finding this
in the downstairs bathroom.
1162
00:41:48,283 --> 00:41:50,050
And what happened to you?
1163
00:41:50,118 --> 00:41:51,552
I was sharpening this knife.
1164
00:41:51,620 --> 00:41:53,220
I couldn't find Ms. Bean's carver,
1165
00:41:53,288 --> 00:41:54,388
but this one is definitely sharp enough
1166
00:41:54,456 --> 00:41:56,557
to glide easily through roasted flesh.
1167
00:41:56,625 --> 00:41:58,726
What a weird way to put that.
1168
00:41:58,793 --> 00:42:00,394
CHANEL: Oh, great, it's you two.
1169
00:42:00,462 --> 00:42:02,296
You're gonna make fabulous dinner guests
1170
00:42:02,364 --> 00:42:03,230
now that you found out
1171
00:42:03,298 --> 00:42:04,498
you fathered a bastard murderer,
1172
00:42:04,566 --> 00:42:06,133
who's your sibling.
1173
00:42:06,201 --> 00:42:07,635
As you can imagine,
1174
00:42:07,702 --> 00:42:09,536
it's been sort of a heavy day for me.
1175
00:42:09,604 --> 00:42:10,938
So if you wouldn't mind,
1176
00:42:11,006 --> 00:42:12,973
I would love for us all to have a quiet,
1177
00:42:13,041 --> 00:42:15,209
uneventful Thanksgiving. Thank you.
1178
00:42:15,277 --> 00:42:16,877
(sighs)
1179
00:42:16,945 --> 00:42:18,712
Come on, let's bring in Tiburon.
1180
00:42:20,382 --> 00:42:21,715
Oh, Weston,
1181
00:42:21,783 --> 00:42:23,183
is your crazy girlfriend attending?
1182
00:42:23,218 --> 00:42:25,319
Because if so, I need
to set a place for her.
1183
00:42:25,387 --> 00:42:28,389
No, no, because I have
no idea where Gigi is.
1184
00:42:29,291 --> 00:42:30,691
(gasps)
1185
00:42:30,759 --> 00:42:32,726
Chad?
1186
00:42:32,794 --> 00:42:34,228
You haven't eaten yet, have you? I knew it!
1187
00:42:34,296 --> 00:42:36,196
You've come back. You've chosen me
1188
00:42:36,264 --> 00:42:37,698
over your awful family.
1189
00:42:37,766 --> 00:42:40,167
Hold up.
1190
00:42:40,235 --> 00:42:42,336
First of all, my family
is awesome. How dare you?
1191
00:42:42,404 --> 00:42:44,738
And second, yeah, I did come
back, but it's only because
1192
00:42:44,806 --> 00:42:46,407
I knew you'd have turkey here,
1193
00:42:46,474 --> 00:42:48,194
so I thought I'd get my turkey on with you.
1194
00:42:48,810 --> 00:42:49,810
I'm sorry I said that.
1195
00:42:53,748 --> 00:42:55,349
What's up, guys?
1196
00:42:57,652 --> 00:42:58,952
You know, I really thought this bird
1197
00:42:59,020 --> 00:43:00,754
would be a lot heavier.
1198
00:43:00,822 --> 00:43:03,357
Dean Munsch, you must have
really overcooked the turkey.
1199
00:43:03,425 --> 00:43:04,358
(scoffs) Oh, that's nonsense.
1200
00:43:04,426 --> 00:43:06,860
Tiburon is perfectly cooked.
1201
00:43:06,928 --> 00:43:08,562
Okay, I hope everyone's hungry
1202
00:43:08,630 --> 00:43:11,932
because I, for one, am overjoyed at this.
1203
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,535
I mean, look, it's our
first Kappa Thanksgiving.
1204
00:43:14,602 --> 00:43:16,537
So, without further ado,
1205
00:43:16,604 --> 00:43:19,106
dinner is served.
1206
00:43:20,675 --> 00:43:22,376
(screaming)
1207
00:43:31,635 --> 00:43:36,635
1208
00:43:36,685 --> 00:43:41,235
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