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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,156 --> 00:00:02,324 (Birds chirp, cars rumble) 2 00:00:04,758 --> 00:00:07,327 Alexis, I just got an email from your school. 3 00:00:07,361 --> 00:00:08,828 Okay, in my defense, 4 00:00:08,863 --> 00:00:10,563 I did not know he was a substitute teacher, 5 00:00:10,598 --> 00:00:12,365 and basically, nothing happened. 6 00:00:12,399 --> 00:00:13,766 Okay, well, that's not it, 7 00:00:13,801 --> 00:00:16,429 and please don't go down that path again. 8 00:00:16,804 --> 00:00:19,138 Apparently there's a lice outbreak in your class. 9 00:00:19,173 --> 00:00:21,320 - Oh my God! - Ewww! 10 00:00:22,376 --> 00:00:25,144 Ugh, it's probably Kelsey, she's such a horse girl. 11 00:00:25,179 --> 00:00:27,491 Honestly Alexis, if you don't like the way somebody looks... 12 00:00:27,515 --> 00:00:29,182 Dad, that's so mean! 13 00:00:29,216 --> 00:00:31,710 She doesn't look like a horse, she just talks about them a lot. 14 00:00:31,735 --> 00:00:33,102 And smells a bit. 15 00:00:33,265 --> 00:00:35,688 (Gasps) You know, you keep scratching. 16 00:00:35,723 --> 00:00:37,117 Ewww! 17 00:00:37,691 --> 00:00:40,159 No, I'm just allergic to the down pillow. 18 00:00:40,194 --> 00:00:42,804 No, no, you probably have lice. 19 00:00:43,230 --> 00:00:46,032 You're scratching because you have lice! 20 00:00:46,066 --> 00:00:49,351 Wait a minute, we were in all the rooms changing the sheets! 21 00:00:49,648 --> 00:00:52,756 Okay, how-can lice jump? 22 00:00:52,781 --> 00:00:54,107 Because if I was sleeping in my bed, 23 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,209 could a lice jump from her bed to my bed? 24 00:00:56,243 --> 00:00:58,311 Can everyone stop saying lice please?! 25 00:00:58,345 --> 00:01:00,557 Now I've gotta go back and change all the sheets again. 26 00:01:00,581 --> 00:01:02,849 Okay, how do I know that she didn't give me her lice? 27 00:01:02,883 --> 00:01:04,284 David, you don't have lice. 28 00:01:04,318 --> 00:01:05,952 Nobody here has lice! 29 00:01:05,986 --> 00:01:07,654 No, no, you do! 30 00:01:07,688 --> 00:01:09,459 You-you have the lice! 31 00:01:09,484 --> 00:01:11,257 - Ah! - Ughhh! 32 00:01:11,292 --> 00:01:14,070 - Oh! Aah! - Alexis, you've gotta go to the store 33 00:01:14,094 --> 00:01:16,663 and get something to deal with that now! 34 00:01:16,697 --> 00:01:19,332 Okay, I've gotta go back and change all the sheets. 35 00:01:19,366 --> 00:01:22,669 Oh! This is the last time I take a pity selfie with Kelsey! 36 00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:23,848 - Get away from me! - Aah! 37 00:01:23,873 --> 00:01:27,918 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 38 00:01:30,144 --> 00:01:31,811 (Cart rattles) 39 00:01:35,506 --> 00:01:37,150 (Knocking) Housekeeping. 40 00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,623 - Hello! - Oh, hi. 41 00:01:38,648 --> 00:01:41,372 Uh, just here for the complimentary... 42 00:01:41,397 --> 00:01:43,098 sheet change. 43 00:01:43,123 --> 00:01:44,524 But the bed's already made up. 44 00:01:44,558 --> 00:01:47,493 Yes, yes, well some of our guests prefer 45 00:01:47,528 --> 00:01:49,562 morning and... evening sheets. 46 00:01:49,597 --> 00:01:52,031 Uh, these are a little heavier, 47 00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:53,399 for sleeping, right? 48 00:01:53,434 --> 00:01:55,335 So if you don't mind, I'll just get to it. 49 00:01:55,369 --> 00:01:57,003 I think we're good, I mean, 50 00:01:57,037 --> 00:01:58,838 we haven't even touched the sheets. 51 00:01:58,872 --> 00:02:00,974 Oh, good, good, good! 52 00:02:01,008 --> 00:02:02,342 Why is that good? 53 00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:04,811 Well, it just means you're having a busy day, 54 00:02:04,845 --> 00:02:06,512 you know, up and at 'em. 55 00:02:06,547 --> 00:02:07,561 - Oh. - Right. 56 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:08,670 (Laughs) Right. 57 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,334 And your hair's in a ponytail, 58 00:02:10,359 --> 00:02:12,294 that's fantastic. 59 00:02:12,612 --> 00:02:13,662 Yeah... 60 00:02:14,121 --> 00:02:16,756 And by that I mean it's very hot outside, 61 00:02:16,790 --> 00:02:19,559 and... gives the neck a chance to breathe, 62 00:02:19,593 --> 00:02:21,661 um... yeah. 63 00:02:21,695 --> 00:02:23,129 So... 64 00:02:23,163 --> 00:02:25,531 We're actually just on our way out so... 65 00:02:25,566 --> 00:02:27,709 Oh well, good timing then, huh? 66 00:02:27,734 --> 00:02:30,256 So why don't we follow you out, hmm? 67 00:02:30,904 --> 00:02:33,339 So that's a yes to changing the sheets? 68 00:02:33,374 --> 00:02:35,408 No, no, I think we're good. Thanks. 69 00:02:35,442 --> 00:02:36,909 After you. 70 00:02:36,944 --> 00:02:39,812 Oh, so leaving everything as is, then. 71 00:02:39,837 --> 00:02:41,204 Couple: Yeah! 72 00:02:47,498 --> 00:02:49,250 (Bell on door jingles) 73 00:02:50,162 --> 00:02:54,436 Hi, sorry I'm late, it's been a busy morning. 74 00:02:54,461 --> 00:02:56,795 (Sighs) How are you? 75 00:02:57,798 --> 00:02:59,631 I'm fine, thank you. 76 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,936 It's nice to see you. 77 00:03:02,123 --> 00:03:04,537 Hm! Are you talking to me? 78 00:03:04,571 --> 00:03:07,774 I'm not used to that ah, level of kindness. 79 00:03:07,808 --> 00:03:09,809 Yes, we haven't seen each other in weeks, 80 00:03:09,843 --> 00:03:12,467 so I was just saying it's nice to see you. 81 00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:14,357 I'm going to ignore that passive aggression, 82 00:03:14,381 --> 00:03:16,282 and instead, lean in to the fact 83 00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,351 that we're both working professionals now, 84 00:03:18,385 --> 00:03:20,987 and Mama Oprah would be very proud of us. 85 00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:22,822 Okay, that's one way to look at it. 86 00:03:22,856 --> 00:03:25,115 Um, so you know what I think would be super fun, 87 00:03:25,230 --> 00:03:27,731 if we hung out at your place tonight. 88 00:03:27,789 --> 00:03:29,338 - My place? - Mhm. 89 00:03:29,363 --> 00:03:30,763 You've never been to my place. 90 00:03:30,798 --> 00:03:32,409 Yeah exactly, you were just saying that we haven't 91 00:03:32,433 --> 00:03:33,966 been spending as much time together, 92 00:03:34,001 --> 00:03:35,475 and that it's been really bothering you. 93 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,037 I don't remember saying that last part. 94 00:03:38,072 --> 00:03:39,472 Yeah, so I was just thinking like, 95 00:03:39,506 --> 00:03:40,873 what about a late night hang, 96 00:03:40,908 --> 00:03:43,709 or like, a platonic sleepover? 97 00:03:43,877 --> 00:03:46,212 Mm... what's on your head? 98 00:03:46,246 --> 00:03:47,814 Hm? A hat. 99 00:03:48,819 --> 00:03:51,139 That I'm test driving for the store. 100 00:03:52,086 --> 00:03:54,350 I mean, what's happening under the hat? 101 00:03:56,186 --> 00:03:57,757 - The other side. - Oh, I see. 102 00:03:57,791 --> 00:03:59,795 Yeah um, that would be a shower cap. 103 00:04:01,897 --> 00:04:04,697 So this would have nothing to do with... 104 00:04:04,732 --> 00:04:06,701 the lice outbreak at the motel? 105 00:04:08,357 --> 00:04:09,758 Your dad just called me. 106 00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,771 Mhm, um... 107 00:04:11,805 --> 00:04:13,973 so I might be taking preventative measures. 108 00:04:13,998 --> 00:04:17,710 I can't afford to have the store infested with lice. 109 00:04:17,978 --> 00:04:19,345 I don't think it works that way, 110 00:04:19,379 --> 00:04:20,980 but just so we're clear, 111 00:04:21,014 --> 00:04:23,716 you were wanting to have a platonic sleepover 112 00:04:23,751 --> 00:04:26,519 at my place would have nothing to do with the fact 113 00:04:26,553 --> 00:04:28,387 that your sister has lice? 114 00:04:28,422 --> 00:04:30,879 Yes, that is almost entirely correct. 115 00:04:30,976 --> 00:04:32,160 Oh... 116 00:04:32,890 --> 00:04:34,891 Moira: Good morning! 117 00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:38,895 Bob: Who's gonna be the one to tell her? 118 00:04:39,259 --> 00:04:40,943 I'll handle this. 119 00:04:40,968 --> 00:04:43,269 Have I been let go? Should I leave? 120 00:04:43,303 --> 00:04:45,238 - No. - I won't make a scene. 121 00:04:45,272 --> 00:04:47,673 You still have three and a half more years. 122 00:04:47,708 --> 00:04:49,106 But who's counting? 123 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:53,052 Roland: Moira, I know that town beautification 124 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,580 is kind of your thing, 125 00:04:54,615 --> 00:04:57,246 so I know you'll wanna know that um... 126 00:04:57,551 --> 00:04:59,645 we're gonna build a flower garden. 127 00:04:59,770 --> 00:05:01,788 And it gets better! 128 00:05:01,822 --> 00:05:03,389 I imagine it must. 129 00:05:03,423 --> 00:05:05,684 We're gonna name it after you. 130 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,662 Oh, and look at that right there, 131 00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,497 utter shock! 132 00:05:11,532 --> 00:05:13,566 Now, I'm flattered beyond all reason, 133 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,067 but I can't help but think 134 00:05:15,102 --> 00:05:17,503 the money could be better spent elsewhere, 135 00:05:17,538 --> 00:05:20,215 making much needed improvements to the roads, 136 00:05:20,474 --> 00:05:21,941 the streetlamps, the parks, 137 00:05:21,975 --> 00:05:23,543 the sidewalks, the traffic light... 138 00:05:23,577 --> 00:05:25,645 Moira, I don't think you understand how rare it is 139 00:05:25,679 --> 00:05:28,581 for somebody to have something named for them in this town! 140 00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:31,793 I mean, yeah, the whole town is named after me, 141 00:05:31,885 --> 00:05:34,587 and Bob over here, he's got his bench. 142 00:05:34,621 --> 00:05:35,832 Bob's Bench. 143 00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,224 And Ronnie's got her rec center. 144 00:05:38,258 --> 00:05:39,959 It's an outdoor tennis court, 145 00:05:39,993 --> 00:05:42,562 and last year the net was stolen. 146 00:05:42,596 --> 00:05:44,363 Well, she's kind of under selling it there, 147 00:05:44,398 --> 00:05:47,834 the rec center is a major hook-up spot for the kids. 148 00:05:47,868 --> 00:05:50,169 - So is the bench. - Right. 149 00:05:50,204 --> 00:05:51,971 As much as I would love to contribute 150 00:05:52,005 --> 00:05:53,639 to the population growth of this town 151 00:05:53,674 --> 00:05:55,875 by way of teen pregnancies, 152 00:05:55,909 --> 00:05:57,343 I must decline. 153 00:05:57,377 --> 00:05:59,612 Honey, it's all about legacy! 154 00:05:59,646 --> 00:06:01,981 Your name will forever be associated 155 00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:03,445 with this town's name! 156 00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:05,818 I don't think you're helping. 157 00:06:05,853 --> 00:06:08,062 I truly appreciate the gesture. 158 00:06:08,148 --> 00:06:09,755 Well look, before you say no... 159 00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,351 - No. - Right. 160 00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:13,860 This is a really big deal, Moira. 161 00:06:14,905 --> 00:06:17,029 For us to be doing this for you. 162 00:06:17,064 --> 00:06:18,464 Okay. 163 00:06:20,452 --> 00:06:22,419 (Car rumbles) 164 00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,576 Ted: Alexis, I didn't think you were coming in today. 165 00:06:30,611 --> 00:06:33,379 Oh um, I hadn't planned to, 166 00:06:33,413 --> 00:06:35,191 but it was really bugging me that your cupboards 167 00:06:35,215 --> 00:06:37,183 were so... disorganized. 168 00:06:38,051 --> 00:06:39,952 It's Saturday. 169 00:06:39,987 --> 00:06:41,721 No, I know. Um... 170 00:06:41,755 --> 00:06:43,356 But the other reason is that 171 00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:45,458 I bumped into one of our clients, 172 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,238 and her dog has lice, 173 00:06:48,263 --> 00:06:50,996 and she's worried that she now has lice. 174 00:06:51,489 --> 00:06:52,889 Who was it? 175 00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:54,168 Umm... 176 00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:57,003 Meredith? Meredith! 177 00:06:57,037 --> 00:06:59,005 She's new-ish, you might not remember her, 178 00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:03,170 just kind of like, mid-length, wavy hair. 179 00:07:03,627 --> 00:07:07,063 - Does she want me to help her? - No. 180 00:07:07,247 --> 00:07:08,881 No, she is too embarrassed. 181 00:07:08,916 --> 00:07:11,170 And I was like... Mere-dith, 182 00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:14,387 Meredith, there's no reason to be embarrassed, 183 00:07:14,421 --> 00:07:15,988 you're still exceptionally attractive, 184 00:07:16,023 --> 00:07:17,857 it's just lice, just get the shampoo, 185 00:07:17,891 --> 00:07:19,154 and deal with it! 186 00:07:19,459 --> 00:07:21,761 Yeah okay um... the thing is, 187 00:07:21,795 --> 00:07:25,303 that you can't actually get lice from dogs. 188 00:07:25,483 --> 00:07:27,133 It's a different kind of lice. 189 00:07:27,167 --> 00:07:28,534 Okay, so what should she use? 190 00:07:28,568 --> 00:07:30,303 Should she use the flea stuff, or... 191 00:07:30,337 --> 00:07:32,872 Oh no, she's fine to use the lice shampoo, 192 00:07:32,906 --> 00:07:35,641 but it's really more about combing them out. 193 00:07:35,676 --> 00:07:37,576 - Ewww! - On the upside, 194 00:07:37,611 --> 00:07:39,412 you could tell her that... 195 00:07:39,446 --> 00:07:41,013 they're only attracted to clean scalps, 196 00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:43,100 and she shouldn't be too embarrassed. 197 00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:45,584 Also, I'm kind of a samurai 198 00:07:45,619 --> 00:07:47,295 when it comes to a metal comb, so... 199 00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:49,299 Okay, are you sure, because she didn't want to um, 200 00:07:49,323 --> 00:07:51,223 she didn't wanna bug you on a weekend. 201 00:07:51,258 --> 00:07:52,554 - Bug me. - (Sighs) 202 00:07:52,579 --> 00:07:53,912 I am sure. 203 00:07:53,937 --> 00:07:55,971 Okay, I will tell her. 204 00:07:57,195 --> 00:07:58,864 Um, you know that it's me, right? 205 00:07:58,899 --> 00:08:01,000 - Yeah, caught on pretty quick. - Okay, thank you. 206 00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:02,868 You're the sweetest little vet I've ever met. 207 00:08:02,903 --> 00:08:04,270 I don't know about little, 208 00:08:04,304 --> 00:08:05,972 because I'm benching 225 right now, 209 00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:07,350 so it's not really something someone little... 210 00:08:07,374 --> 00:08:09,442 - Aaah, Ted! - Okay, yep. 211 00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:15,114 (Sighs) Okay, 212 00:08:15,148 --> 00:08:17,550 so if you wouldn't mind sorting these body milks by size, 213 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,185 that would be great. 214 00:08:21,579 --> 00:08:22,979 Can you drink these? 215 00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:25,691 Um, it's liquid moisturizer, 216 00:08:25,726 --> 00:08:27,927 for your body, so no, 217 00:08:27,961 --> 00:08:29,710 you can't drink them. 218 00:08:30,882 --> 00:08:32,468 Did you ask if you can drink it, too? 219 00:08:32,493 --> 00:08:35,890 Okay, it says body milk on the label! 220 00:08:36,194 --> 00:08:37,747 You know, I told David that the label 221 00:08:37,771 --> 00:08:40,006 was gonna be misleading, but he insisted. 222 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,374 What was it you said? 223 00:08:41,408 --> 00:08:43,242 "Anyone with a fiber of common sense 224 00:08:43,276 --> 00:08:45,511 would know that it's not actually milk." 225 00:08:45,545 --> 00:08:47,747 What do we think body milk is, 226 00:08:47,781 --> 00:08:50,639 if not milk... for your body?! 227 00:08:51,436 --> 00:08:53,352 - Exactly. - Stevie, right? 228 00:08:53,387 --> 00:08:55,053 - Yeah. - I'm Patrick. 229 00:08:55,078 --> 00:08:57,162 - I've heard a lot about you. - None of it is true. 230 00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:59,936 Oh well, anyone with a fiber of common sense would know that. 231 00:09:00,836 --> 00:09:02,662 I like him. 232 00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:04,663 I like you. 233 00:09:04,698 --> 00:09:06,075 Okay, is this how this is gonna go? 234 00:09:06,099 --> 00:09:07,710 Because we have way too much work to do today 235 00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,435 for me to feel attacked by way 236 00:09:09,469 --> 00:09:11,771 of an imbalanced social dynamic. 237 00:09:11,805 --> 00:09:13,918 Are-are you wearing a shower cap?! 238 00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:15,637 Alexis has lice, 239 00:09:15,842 --> 00:09:17,743 and I am taking preventative measures. 240 00:09:17,778 --> 00:09:20,762 By wearing one of our hats that we now can't sell. 241 00:09:20,787 --> 00:09:23,015 Oh, he doesn't have it, I checked his head. 242 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:25,951 I think the shower cap is more of a fashion choice 243 00:09:25,986 --> 00:09:28,220 - at this point. - Uh huh. 244 00:09:28,255 --> 00:09:30,823 But you're living with somebody who does have lice, 245 00:09:30,857 --> 00:09:32,235 so just 'cause you don't have it now, 246 00:09:32,259 --> 00:09:33,603 doesn't mean that you couldn't get it tonight, 247 00:09:33,627 --> 00:09:35,561 or tomorrow, or whenever. 248 00:09:35,595 --> 00:09:37,373 It's almost as if you want me to get the lice. 249 00:09:37,397 --> 00:09:38,798 I don't want you to get it, 250 00:09:38,832 --> 00:09:40,733 I just, I think you should be careful. 251 00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:43,196 You can crash at my place tonight if you need to. 252 00:09:43,970 --> 00:09:45,337 Thank you. 253 00:09:45,372 --> 00:09:47,291 But Stevie offered her place this morning. 254 00:09:47,316 --> 00:09:48,775 - Oh, - So... 255 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:51,541 - Can I crash at your place? - (Laughs) 256 00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:53,234 This is really fun for me. 257 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,626 I'm having a lot of fun. 258 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:06,392 I never thought I'd see the day, John. 259 00:10:06,426 --> 00:10:09,426 You've been domesticated beyond recognition. 260 00:10:09,451 --> 00:10:12,398 Moira, it's been a bit of a day here. 261 00:10:12,432 --> 00:10:13,776 Well, this might lift your spirits, 262 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,167 I just came from council, 263 00:10:15,202 --> 00:10:17,364 and they want to name a garden after me. 264 00:10:18,305 --> 00:10:19,871 A garden? 265 00:10:20,074 --> 00:10:22,541 Oh, that's flattering. 266 00:10:22,576 --> 00:10:24,668 Another feather in your cap, huh? 267 00:10:24,693 --> 00:10:27,113 Oh, I have enough legacies as it is, John. 268 00:10:27,147 --> 00:10:29,615 I've got that playhouse theater in Pasadena, 269 00:10:29,649 --> 00:10:32,090 My titular scholarship with Phoenix, 270 00:10:32,201 --> 00:10:33,568 David and Alexis. 271 00:10:33,593 --> 00:10:36,161 Yeah, but still, a garden is nice. 272 00:10:36,323 --> 00:10:38,424 You'd have to think twice about turning that down. 273 00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:40,355 Oh, I've already turned it down. 274 00:10:41,027 --> 00:10:42,103 Oh. 275 00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:44,048 Okay. 276 00:10:45,052 --> 00:10:46,519 Well, it's just... 277 00:10:47,579 --> 00:10:50,470 about a month ago I heard from the 278 00:10:50,495 --> 00:10:53,314 Lucy Albion Studio Theater in Pasadena. 279 00:10:53,339 --> 00:10:55,073 I don't know what that is. 280 00:10:55,098 --> 00:10:57,776 It... used to be called the Moira Rose... 281 00:10:57,811 --> 00:10:59,845 No, no! Don't say it! 282 00:11:01,214 --> 00:11:03,110 They've stripped the playhouse of my name? 283 00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:04,950 Who the (Bleep) is Lucy Albion?! 284 00:11:04,985 --> 00:11:07,547 A volunteer usher who died last year. 285 00:11:08,821 --> 00:11:11,901 And when were you planning on telling me this, John?! 286 00:11:11,925 --> 00:11:13,803 Well Moira, it's not like you haven't overreacted 287 00:11:13,827 --> 00:11:15,743 to bad news in the past. 288 00:11:15,768 --> 00:11:18,264 I just thought it might sit better with you 289 00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:20,417 once you'd heard about the garden. 290 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,819 No, I just told you about the garden. 291 00:11:25,094 --> 00:11:26,440 Uh-huh. 292 00:11:27,707 --> 00:11:30,342 John, did you ask Roland and Bob 293 00:11:30,377 --> 00:11:32,440 to name a garden after me? 294 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:34,713 No, no! 295 00:11:34,748 --> 00:11:37,776 They wanted to name the garden after you, Moira. 296 00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:40,853 After I offered to pay for the plaque, 297 00:11:40,887 --> 00:11:43,022 and a good chunk of the upkeep. 298 00:11:43,056 --> 00:11:44,590 I don't believe this. 299 00:11:44,624 --> 00:11:47,059 Sweetheart, I just thought having your own garden in town 300 00:11:47,093 --> 00:11:49,628 would make losing the theater less painful! 301 00:11:49,663 --> 00:11:51,143 Oh, I won't be pitied, John! 302 00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:54,033 Or fed your pacifying pablum like some kind of... 303 00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:55,801 soft-headed infant! 304 00:11:55,835 --> 00:11:57,024 Well, I thought it was a nice gesture. 305 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:58,748 Oh no, no, now I just wonder what else 306 00:11:58,772 --> 00:11:59,954 you're keeping from me. 307 00:11:59,979 --> 00:12:01,610 Nothing! 308 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,977 - Well, Alexis has lice. - What?! 309 00:12:06,177 --> 00:12:07,544 Ewwww! 310 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,969 Ewwwww! 311 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,876 I assume you shaved her head! 312 00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:13,602 And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! 313 00:12:13,627 --> 00:12:15,854 These have to be boxed now! 314 00:12:15,889 --> 00:12:18,224 Moira, I've got it all taken care of. 315 00:12:18,258 --> 00:12:20,459 And I'd think twice about that garden. 316 00:12:20,493 --> 00:12:22,271 Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden 317 00:12:22,295 --> 00:12:25,130 is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp! 318 00:12:25,165 --> 00:12:27,066 And I was worried about you overreacting. 319 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:28,706 (Screams) 320 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:36,743 What are you doing in here? 321 00:12:36,778 --> 00:12:38,478 Well, you said to change the sheets. 322 00:12:38,513 --> 00:12:40,414 No, we said not to change the sheets. 323 00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:43,850 Oh, you said not to change the sheets! 324 00:12:43,885 --> 00:12:47,532 I could've sworn I heard you say change the sheets. 325 00:12:47,557 --> 00:12:51,510 - Well, while I'm here, I may as well... - Please, just leave the bed. 326 00:12:51,885 --> 00:12:53,794 - Sure. - What's going on? 327 00:12:53,828 --> 00:12:55,596 What's going on? 328 00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:58,131 Well, my... okay. 329 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:02,243 My daughter and I were setting up the room earlier, 330 00:13:02,268 --> 00:13:05,182 and it turns out she has lice. 331 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,176 I was changing the sheets because you know, I didn't wanna take a chance. 332 00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:10,300 Been there. 333 00:13:10,325 --> 00:13:12,389 Yeah, our six year old daughter had lice last year. 334 00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:14,230 - How old's yours? - 28. 335 00:13:16,113 --> 00:13:18,739 Oh, and I checked your hairbrush and it is fine. 336 00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,737 You checked my hairbrush?! 337 00:13:21,553 --> 00:13:24,054 It's a complimentary service. 338 00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:27,828 Ted: Why didn't you just tell me that you had lice? 339 00:13:27,862 --> 00:13:29,863 Ted, a bug literally fell out of my head, 340 00:13:29,897 --> 00:13:32,032 onto my textbook this morning. 341 00:13:32,066 --> 00:13:33,800 It was so disgusting. 342 00:13:33,835 --> 00:13:35,235 Plus I didn't want you to picture me 343 00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:37,704 like some well-toned bug woman. 344 00:13:37,739 --> 00:13:39,906 Well, I've seen worse. 345 00:13:39,941 --> 00:13:43,019 Fleas, ticks, worms. 346 00:13:43,044 --> 00:13:45,812 Granted, all of those were on house pets. 347 00:13:45,847 --> 00:13:48,424 - Ted! - I'm just saying, 348 00:13:48,449 --> 00:13:50,668 that you know, it could've been worse. 349 00:13:50,693 --> 00:13:52,754 I could be shearing you with trimmers right now. 350 00:13:54,622 --> 00:13:56,387 You're really good at this. 351 00:13:56,575 --> 00:13:58,466 It reminds me of when I was in Bangkok. 352 00:13:58,493 --> 00:14:00,706 There was this amazing little Resto-Lounge 353 00:14:00,731 --> 00:14:02,663 that specialized in Tahitian food, 354 00:14:02,697 --> 00:14:04,698 and scalp massages. 355 00:14:04,919 --> 00:14:06,867 I'm not sure what's more disgusting, 356 00:14:06,901 --> 00:14:08,235 what I'm doing right now, 357 00:14:08,269 --> 00:14:10,904 or the concept for that restaurant. 358 00:14:10,938 --> 00:14:12,406 It was a Resto-Lounge. 359 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:13,974 Speaking of Thailand, 360 00:14:14,459 --> 00:14:16,243 I think is probably the most intimate thing 361 00:14:16,277 --> 00:14:18,248 I've ever done with an employee. 362 00:14:18,842 --> 00:14:21,114 Speaking of Thailand, 363 00:14:21,149 --> 00:14:22,726 I think we've done a few more intimate things than this. 364 00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:26,219 I meant while they were an employee. 365 00:14:26,498 --> 00:14:28,912 Not that I'd do this for anyone else. 366 00:14:29,290 --> 00:14:30,624 Well, thank you. 367 00:14:30,658 --> 00:14:32,159 Because it's actually pretty gross. 368 00:14:32,193 --> 00:14:33,593 You said it wasn't that bad. 369 00:14:33,628 --> 00:14:35,495 Well, there are some big ones in here. 370 00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:38,141 - Ewww! - I'm joking, I'm joking. 371 00:14:38,433 --> 00:14:39,933 Oh, maybe not. 372 00:14:39,967 --> 00:14:41,335 - Eww! - Nope, it's fine. 373 00:14:41,369 --> 00:14:42,736 It is fine, it's fine. 374 00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:45,005 Just-just the mama, we got her. 375 00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:47,774 (Knocking) 376 00:14:50,144 --> 00:14:53,046 Hi, I can't thank you enough for inviting me. 377 00:14:53,081 --> 00:14:55,349 Really you should be thanking yourself for that. 378 00:14:55,383 --> 00:14:57,117 (Gasps) 379 00:14:57,151 --> 00:14:58,785 This is a lot nicer than I expected. 380 00:14:58,820 --> 00:15:01,054 For some reason I pictured you living underground. 381 00:15:01,089 --> 00:15:02,489 In like, a bomb shelter? 382 00:15:02,523 --> 00:15:03,857 Yeah like, bomb shelter aspects. 383 00:15:03,891 --> 00:15:05,759 Look at what you've done to this place! 384 00:15:05,793 --> 00:15:07,627 Look at all this stuff! 385 00:15:07,662 --> 00:15:10,864 Look at that... frame on the wall that you put there. 386 00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:12,966 Look at that Sarah McLachlan poster! 387 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,368 Don't be dissing Sarah McLachlan. 388 00:15:14,402 --> 00:15:15,802 Who's dissing Sarah McLachlan? 389 00:15:15,837 --> 00:15:17,488 I followed Lilith Fair for two summers. 390 00:15:17,839 --> 00:15:20,817 - (Sighs) - So... 391 00:15:20,842 --> 00:15:22,976 Uh oh! 392 00:15:23,151 --> 00:15:25,412 Two toothbrushes? Hello! 393 00:15:25,446 --> 00:15:28,087 No, you see, this is exactly why I shouldn'tve let you 394 00:15:28,112 --> 00:15:31,284 bully me into allowing you to stay here! 395 00:15:31,319 --> 00:15:33,453 Do you require two toothbrushes? 396 00:15:33,488 --> 00:15:35,906 Yes, I do. 397 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:39,953 Ahhh... 398 00:15:42,703 --> 00:15:45,147 So maybe I was seeing somebody a while ago, 399 00:15:45,172 --> 00:15:48,108 and I forgot to throw out his toothbrush. 400 00:15:49,036 --> 00:15:50,437 I don't recall you ever telling me 401 00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,005 about that chapter of your life. 402 00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:53,384 Well, I'm sure I would've told you, 403 00:15:53,408 --> 00:15:55,149 if you weren't so busy with the store. 404 00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,577 I'm sorry, is that a soft, 405 00:15:57,612 --> 00:16:00,657 yet affirmative indication that you miss me? 406 00:16:00,948 --> 00:16:02,816 No, it is not. 407 00:16:02,850 --> 00:16:04,785 Because I agree, our social predicament 408 00:16:04,819 --> 00:16:06,586 is not ideal, 409 00:16:06,805 --> 00:16:09,757 but we are both thriving professionally, 410 00:16:09,782 --> 00:16:12,016 and I feel like that needs to be celebrated. 411 00:16:13,361 --> 00:16:15,429 Speaking of, where are the drinks? 412 00:16:15,463 --> 00:16:18,031 - In this thing? - The fridge. 413 00:16:18,065 --> 00:16:21,444 - Is this... okay. - Just... 414 00:16:21,469 --> 00:16:23,437 Okay, I just see two de-shelled hard-boiled eggs 415 00:16:23,471 --> 00:16:25,472 in a bag, should I be scared for you? 416 00:16:25,506 --> 00:16:26,907 The vodka's in the freezer. 417 00:16:26,941 --> 00:16:29,309 Oh, in the freezer, okay. 418 00:16:29,343 --> 00:16:31,657 (Gasps) There she is! 419 00:16:31,682 --> 00:16:34,617 Look at that, look at her, go. 420 00:16:35,883 --> 00:16:37,517 What a gift. 421 00:16:37,552 --> 00:16:39,886 (Music plays softly) 422 00:16:41,756 --> 00:16:43,924 - Moira! - Oh, hi. 423 00:16:43,958 --> 00:16:45,335 I just wanted to say congratulations 424 00:16:45,359 --> 00:16:46,927 about the garden. 425 00:16:46,961 --> 00:16:49,830 Oh well, you're very kind, but I've declined the offer. 426 00:16:49,864 --> 00:16:51,264 - Oh, really? - Yes. 427 00:16:51,299 --> 00:16:52,666 As much as I love the spotlight, 428 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:55,302 sometimes it's best to just step aside. 429 00:16:55,303 --> 00:16:56,524 That's surprising. 430 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,010 I know when they told me that they were gonna put my name 431 00:16:59,035 --> 00:17:01,218 on the new low-impact play center at the school, 432 00:17:01,242 --> 00:17:03,043 I was thrilled! 433 00:17:03,077 --> 00:17:04,478 Yes, it can be very exciting 434 00:17:04,512 --> 00:17:06,980 when the tribute matches the contribution. 435 00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:10,526 My name graced a theater, 436 00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:13,620 a country club ladies' locker room, 437 00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:15,021 a roadway. 438 00:17:15,056 --> 00:17:16,456 A whole road? 439 00:17:16,491 --> 00:17:18,291 Oh, not just any road. 440 00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:20,527 This was a lifesaving road, 441 00:17:20,893 --> 00:17:23,276 dedicated to emergency vehicles. 442 00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:25,899 Like a fire route? 443 00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:29,536 Technically it was referred to as Evacuation Route 14, 444 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,372 but those of us in the know affectionately called it... 445 00:17:32,406 --> 00:17:35,041 "Moira Rose Boulevard." 446 00:17:35,276 --> 00:17:36,643 You know, Moira, 447 00:17:36,677 --> 00:17:38,812 having your name on a small, local garden 448 00:17:38,846 --> 00:17:40,247 wouldn't take away from 449 00:17:40,281 --> 00:17:42,849 any of those other amazing achievements. 450 00:17:42,884 --> 00:17:44,251 You might think, 451 00:17:44,285 --> 00:17:46,486 but this little particular little tribute 452 00:17:46,521 --> 00:17:49,575 was bought by my husband, 453 00:17:49,868 --> 00:17:52,737 in an attempt to assuage my ego! 454 00:17:53,122 --> 00:17:57,440 And that would be different from the other times because... 455 00:17:57,465 --> 00:17:59,366 Well, I mean, of course philanthropy 456 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,903 and recognition always go hand in hand, but... 457 00:18:02,937 --> 00:18:04,192 Listen. 458 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,684 I know this isn't what you wanted, 459 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,908 But I think it would make Johnny really happy 460 00:18:07,942 --> 00:18:09,645 to make you happy. 461 00:18:10,534 --> 00:18:11,901 I mean, take Roland. 462 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,414 Every year he buys me coconut macaroons, 463 00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:15,826 and I just don't have the heart to tell him 464 00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:18,286 I am really allergic to coconut. 465 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:21,321 Yeah, every Valentine's Day I just rash right up. 466 00:18:21,355 --> 00:18:22,722 (Laughs) 467 00:18:22,757 --> 00:18:25,027 Last year my throat almost completely shut. 468 00:18:27,161 --> 00:18:28,762 (Crickets chirp) 469 00:18:31,566 --> 00:18:33,715 I shouldn'tve eaten those eggs. 470 00:18:34,101 --> 00:18:35,712 I can't believe I'm trapped under a blanket with you 471 00:18:35,736 --> 00:18:38,138 knowing you ate those eggs. 472 00:18:38,172 --> 00:18:39,539 (Sighs) 473 00:18:39,574 --> 00:18:42,168 I bet Patrick's fridge is fully stocked. 474 00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:43,743 What does that mean?! 475 00:18:43,778 --> 00:18:45,668 It means he's got his life together. 476 00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:48,504 He's a pretty eligible bachelor. 477 00:18:48,950 --> 00:18:50,450 Patrick. 478 00:18:50,928 --> 00:18:52,762 I suppose. 479 00:18:55,856 --> 00:18:58,291 What? He's my business partner. 480 00:18:58,326 --> 00:19:00,560 Oh, aren't they all. 481 00:19:00,595 --> 00:19:02,228 What are you doing? 482 00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:05,569 What, you guys just seem to really get along well. 483 00:19:06,429 --> 00:19:08,435 Yeah, because we're in business together, 484 00:19:08,469 --> 00:19:10,670 and compliment each other professionally. 485 00:19:10,937 --> 00:19:14,632 Hm, but he offered for you to stay over at his place. 486 00:19:15,009 --> 00:19:17,177 Yes, because unlike you and I, 487 00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,179 he's extremely generous, 488 00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:21,941 and has absolutely no ulterior motive. 489 00:19:22,276 --> 00:19:24,050 Then why are you here and not there? 490 00:19:24,285 --> 00:19:26,052 Because you asked me first. 491 00:19:26,087 --> 00:19:27,527 I didn't, though. 492 00:19:28,022 --> 00:19:29,422 And it would be weird. 493 00:19:29,457 --> 00:19:31,667 Well, if nothing's going on, why would it be weird? 494 00:19:31,926 --> 00:19:34,322 Because we're in business together, 495 00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:37,097 and I don't know what his preferences are. 496 00:19:37,131 --> 00:19:38,531 Well, you're not gonna find out 497 00:19:38,566 --> 00:19:40,533 what his preferences are on a sleepover with me. 498 00:19:40,568 --> 00:19:42,279 Well, I wouldn't be sharing a bed with him, 499 00:19:42,303 --> 00:19:44,270 I'd be in some guest bedroom. 500 00:19:44,438 --> 00:19:46,575 Guest bedroom, what is he, Bill Gates? 501 00:19:46,882 --> 00:19:49,250 Yes, he's Bill Gates. 502 00:19:50,403 --> 00:19:51,804 I like this for you. 503 00:19:51,829 --> 00:19:53,419 Like what? There's nothing to like. 504 00:19:53,466 --> 00:19:54,848 You seem flustered. 505 00:19:54,882 --> 00:19:56,216 I'm not flus... 506 00:19:56,367 --> 00:19:58,201 Maybe it's the eggs. 507 00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:00,954 Both: Ughh! 508 00:20:03,107 --> 00:20:05,107 Um, am I reading this right? 509 00:20:05,132 --> 00:20:08,268 "The Moira's Rose's Garden." 510 00:20:08,302 --> 00:20:10,013 Okay look, I went back and forth on the name 511 00:20:10,037 --> 00:20:11,971 a couple of times, and I may have... 512 00:20:12,006 --> 00:20:14,036 confused the engraver. 513 00:20:14,508 --> 00:20:17,841 The Moira's Rose's Garden. 514 00:20:17,866 --> 00:20:23,170 So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns? 515 00:20:24,475 --> 00:20:26,619 I don't think that there are enough apostrophes. 516 00:20:26,654 --> 00:20:29,350 I don't even see a rose in the garden. 517 00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:30,757 Because there aren't any roses. 518 00:20:30,791 --> 00:20:32,158 Or are we the Roses? 519 00:20:32,193 --> 00:20:34,208 Okay, I'm getting roses for the garden, 520 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,967 I'm-I'm getting roses. 521 00:20:35,995 --> 00:20:37,623 Oh... okay. 522 00:20:37,648 --> 00:20:39,864 And what are these numbers for? 523 00:20:39,899 --> 00:20:41,266 That's mom's birthday, David. 524 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:42,667 Those are the last four digits 525 00:20:42,702 --> 00:20:44,402 of your father's credit card. 526 00:20:44,437 --> 00:20:46,319 It was a complicated order form, all right? 527 00:20:46,344 --> 00:20:48,920 There were a lot of fields to fill in. 528 00:20:49,775 --> 00:20:52,460 Um, I hope you got a really good deal on this. 529 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,493 It's by the letter, so he paid extra 530 00:20:54,518 --> 00:20:56,019 for those apostrophe "s's." 531 00:20:56,148 --> 00:20:57,615 Okay, enough, enough. 532 00:20:57,650 --> 00:21:00,118 This is still a very big honor for your mother. 533 00:21:00,143 --> 00:21:01,577 Is it not? 534 00:21:02,373 --> 00:21:04,007 - Mhm... - Yes? 535 00:21:04,369 --> 00:21:06,103 Mhm. 536 00:21:07,797 --> 00:21:09,330 So when we die, 537 00:21:09,355 --> 00:21:11,418 are we all gonna be buried here? 538 00:21:12,331 --> 00:21:16,637 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 539 00:21:16,687 --> 00:21:21,237 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38761

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