All language subtitles for Roseanne s03e23 Dances With Darlene.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,401 --> 00:00:02,736 [music] 2 00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:06,474 [theme music] 3 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,344 JACKIE: Well, yeah. 4 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,480 So this one's OK. 5 00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,614 No. 6 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,049 You don't want to get a used washer and dryer. 7 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,350 I can't afford a new one. 8 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,486 You're going to put clothes that touch your body 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,222 into somebody's filthy machine? 10 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,990 I do it here all the time. 11 00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,829 Here but our filth is family. 12 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,432 What's your problem? 13 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,933 I just think if you get a washer and dryer, 14 00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,203 you're not going to come around here no more. 15 00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,305 I'm still going to come over. 16 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,339 No, you won't. 17 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,675 Nobody comes here unless they have to. 18 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,576 I got to eat. 19 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,378 Don't I? - Yeah. 20 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,846 And you'll probably learn how to cook. 21 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,316 And then you'll start going off to the supermarket 22 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,118 with your fancy new washer and dryer. 23 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,051 OK, OK. 24 00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,220 I'll throw the paper away. 25 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,156 You're in no condition to discuss this now. 26 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,057 Mom, can I have the car on Saturday night? 27 00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,159 Yeah. 28 00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,793 Only if you promise to bring it back really 29 00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:03,797 dirty and totally out of gas. 30 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,166 Well, Mark's truck is in the shop. 31 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,435 So I'm driving us to the spring dance. 32 00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,902 Spring dance. 33 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:11,071 Boy, does that bring back memories. 34 00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:14,975 Yeah Waiting around for weeks for some cool guy to ask you. 35 00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:19,012 And then ending up going with some loser like Glen Dickerson. 36 00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:19,913 Why? 37 00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,982 Was he a geek or something? 38 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:22,883 Ask Jackie. 39 00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,717 It's her memory. 40 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,487 No. 41 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,855 He was not a geek. 42 00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,392 He was the only kid in 10th grade that carried a lunch box. 43 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,326 OK, champ. 44 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,528 Let's ice down that pitching arm. 45 00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:35,429 How was the game? 46 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,597 Oh, it was OK. 47 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,498 OK? 48 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,333 She was throwing BBs out there. 49 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,268 [phone rings] 50 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,101 BECKY: I'll get it. 51 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,639 11 strikeouts. No walks. 52 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,107 She made their best hitter cry. 53 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,008 Yeah. 54 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,109 I beaned her right in the neck. 55 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,278 Wow. 56 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,645 That was an accident, right? 57 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,682 Grow up. 58 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:55,683 It's for you, Darlene. 59 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,784 It's Barry. 60 00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,086 Yeah? 61 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,454 Hey, Barry. How are you doing? 62 00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,655 Hey. 63 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:02,756 Did Crystal drop anything off for me here today? 64 00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,691 There's an envelope there on the counter. 65 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,658 Yes. 66 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,560 Thanks to my well-connected father, 67 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,463 I now possess two tickets to the Bulls playoff 68 00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,864 game this Saturday night. 69 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,667 Well, don't expect me to go to a baseball game with you. 70 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,336 It's basketball, Roseanne. 71 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,570 Ah, get off my back. 72 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:19,373 The answer still no. 73 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,942 Damn, I guess I'll have to find somebody else then. 74 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,544 Hey, I like basketball. 75 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,445 Really. 76 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,346 How fascinating. 77 00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,348 But you know? 78 00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,651 I think I'm going to surprise Darlene with these. 79 00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,653 How bizarre. 80 00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:33,754 That was Barry. 81 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,123 And he just invited me to the spring dance. 82 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:40,060 Well, all right, Butch. 83 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,462 When is this thing, Darlene? 84 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,431 Oh, it's this Saturday night. 85 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,598 Saturday, huh? 86 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:45,499 Yeah. 87 00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,134 Can you drive us? 88 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,135 No problem. 89 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,036 Oh, 90 00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,438 Darlene. 91 00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,472 Congratulations. 92 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,374 It's your first formal dance. 93 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,943 God, you'll remember this for the rest of your life. 94 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,579 Honey, what are you going to wear? 95 00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,180 Well, I was thinking I'd go down to the mall-- 96 00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,081 Sh, sh, sh. 97 00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,182 I'm not talking to you. 98 00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:07,087 [theme music] 99 00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,264 [cackle] 100 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:53,667 [music playing] 101 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,139 OK. 102 00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:03,477 So whatever I decide that Darlene likes best, we'll keep. 103 00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:09,683 And what do you think of these shoes with that blue dress? 104 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,584 Oh, clash. 105 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,619 You know? 106 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,321 What about something with an open toe? 107 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,221 No. 108 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,524 Nobody wants to see her feet. 109 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,425 Ah, Roseanne. 110 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,826 And Bonnie. 111 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,193 Hi, Leon. 112 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:24,465 This is Linda Wagner from Rod Bell's company headquarters. 113 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,468 She's here to see how hard we're always working. 114 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,902 Oh cool. 115 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,804 Hey, Linda. 116 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,607 What do you think of these shoes with this dress? 117 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,442 I think they work. 118 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,848 Roseanne is sort of our restaurant cut up. 119 00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:41,882 Let's try this again. 120 00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,884 Shall we? 121 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,854 Miss Wagner is here to look over our store 122 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,458 and evaluate our employees. 123 00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,493 That doesn't mean I have to take a lie detector test, 124 00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,094 does it? 125 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,164 Because every time I take one of them, I get fired. 126 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,599 - Oh god. - No. 127 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,868 What I'd really like to do is just conduct a short interview 128 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,135 with each of you. 129 00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,371 Fantastic. OK. 130 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,472 Who would like to start? 131 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,273 Roseanne, I think I see your hand up there. 132 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,174 Perfect. 133 00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,442 All right, Bonnie. 134 00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,943 Why don't we just leave these two 135 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:15,182 alone to chat while we tidy up and serve our happy customers? 136 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,352 I promise this won't take long. 137 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,221 Well, now this ain't one of those "if I could be 138 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,892 any animal on earth, what animal would I be" kind of deals, 139 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,193 is it? 140 00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,661 No. 141 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,296 Let me start by asking you about your boss. 142 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,197 Oh. 143 00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,801 So it is an animal question. 144 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,769 I was wondering, is he single? 145 00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,004 Leon? 146 00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,273 Of course he's single. 147 00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,642 Well, I find him very attractive. 148 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,743 Don't you? 149 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,446 Well, OK. 150 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:49,116 I suppose that in kind of an off beat-- 151 00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,518 oh, what the hell? 152 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,220 Put me down for no. 153 00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,955 There's just something about him. 154 00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:58,225 He's got this mysterious charisma. 155 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,861 Uh huh. 156 00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,195 It's strange. 157 00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,498 The second I looked at him, this voice in my head said, 158 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:08,569 I want that man. 159 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,070 How long you've been on the road, Linda? 160 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,842 Almost six weeks. Why? 161 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,877 Time to go home. 162 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,480 [music playing] 163 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,918 Darlene, would you please come down here? 164 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,521 Jeez, where is she? I want to see some action. 165 00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,857 Oh, oh, you know this is so exciting. 166 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,625 Sometimes I wish my Lonny was a little girl 167 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,728 so I could get him all dolled up in a pretty dress. 168 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,299 I don't do that, of course. 169 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,138 Oh well, take my breath away. 170 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,574 This is exquisite. 171 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,310 Obviously a woman of taste. 172 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,278 You look weird. 173 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:54,014 You smell weird. 174 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,215 What? 175 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,851 Hm. 176 00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,521 Try on the blue one. 177 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,089 Why? 178 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,324 Because I really don't know how I feel about this 179 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,027 dress until I see you in the blue one. 180 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:07,995 Oh God. 181 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,767 Becky. 182 00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,768 Go with her. 183 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,237 Don't leave her alone with that dress. 184 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:21,174 [music playing] 185 00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,610 This is a joke, right? 186 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,511 No. 187 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,745 It's not bad. 188 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,846 Well, come on. 189 00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,080 I mean you've been to these things before. 190 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,682 Is this going to work? 191 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,518 Well, that depends on what you're going as. 192 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,418 Yeah. 193 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,521 Well, what are you wearing? 194 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,688 Oh I decided not to go. 195 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,289 These things are so immature. 196 00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,157 Mark bailed. 197 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,726 Huh? 198 00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,427 Well, it was kind of awkward for him. 199 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,730 I mean, the Spanish teacher he was dating in 11th grade 200 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,432 is going to be chaperone. 201 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,333 OK. 202 00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,568 You want to look in the mirror? 203 00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,401 Sure. 204 00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,774 Oh, why did I do that? 205 00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,675 OK. 206 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:55,776 She wants to see the blue dress. 207 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,144 Let's show her the blue dress. 208 00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,087 It's too blue. 209 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,292 Looked better on the hanger. 210 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,397 Rhubarb with hair. 211 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:25,305 Makes too much noise when I walk. 212 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,306 Makes me look lopsided. 213 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,313 Well, you do look like Judy Jetson. 214 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:38,085 [music playing] 215 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:38,986 ROSEANNE: Oh, yeah. 216 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:39,887 Yeah. 217 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,388 Yeah. 218 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,324 This is definitely it. 219 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,126 Mhm. 220 00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,461 Mom, this is the first one that I had on. 221 00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,362 I know that. 222 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,463 But these shoes. 223 00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,665 You see, they totally make the difference. 224 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,733 They make the outfit. 225 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,901 Am I right? - Oh yeah. 226 00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:54,802 Nice shoes. 227 00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:55,703 Yeah. 228 00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,938 The shoes, definitely. 229 00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,840 See, but now you're going to have to start shaving 230 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,109 your legs below the sock line. 231 00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,745 Those aren't socks. 232 00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,213 Oh, Dan. 233 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,449 Come on in here and meet your beautiful, young daughter. 234 00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,350 Wow. 235 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,451 You look incredible. 236 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,920 DARLENE: Thanks. 237 00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,888 ROSEANNE: Maybe you ought to see her in the yellow one. 238 00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,256 - Mom. - No, no, no, no. 239 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,490 This is perfect. 240 00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,826 Besides, I have the first dance. 241 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:19,960 May I? 242 00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,494 Oh, just shoot me now. 243 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,639 You really do look nice, you know. 244 00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,740 Thanks. 245 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,207 And you dance divinely. 246 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,576 I'm stepping all over your feet. 247 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,378 I happen to enjoy that. 248 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,546 I hate slow dancing. 249 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,681 Well, listen. 250 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,916 If this Barry guy tries to hold you too close, 251 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,618 just tell him you're going to throw up. 252 00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,586 Oh I thought I'd save that for when he wants to have sex. 253 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:52,826 Gotta go. 254 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,762 Mom, I'm going to go change into human clothes. 255 00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,129 Oh no. No. 256 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,799 We've got to decide what we're going to do about your hair. 257 00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,933 Stop it. 258 00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:00,834 No. 259 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,035 I like my hair the way it is. 260 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:02,970 I know what we'll do. 261 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,537 We'll go and get a makeover. 262 00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,239 We'll all go together Saturday before the dance. 263 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,140 No. 264 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,041 Forget it. 265 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,242 Come on, Darlene. 266 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,711 This is something I always wanted to do with you. 267 00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,781 It'd be like a girl thing. 268 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,749 Mom, I have practice on Saturday. 269 00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,850 Well, you can just miss it. 270 00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,251 No, I can't. 271 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,853 If I miss practice, I might not get to start in the next game. 272 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:20,954 Well, gee. 273 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,255 Darlene, this is your first formal dance. 274 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,657 It's way more important. 275 00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,557 Yeah? 276 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,059 Well, then why don't you go? 277 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,527 Because I have nothing to wear. 278 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,702 [door slam] 279 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,540 Well you better go practice. 280 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,642 You missed me by a mile. 281 00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,543 Hey, hey. 282 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,578 That's not paid for yet. 283 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,479 Take it back. 284 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,380 Take them all back. 285 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,716 I'll get my own dress. 286 00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:49,883 You pick it up. 287 00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:50,918 No. 288 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,385 Pick it up, Darlene. 289 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,386 Why? 290 00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,822 So you can play Barbie doll some more? 291 00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:55,723 Forget it. 292 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:56,924 What are you talking about? 293 00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:00,660 I bought you a beautiful dress for the dance. 294 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,795 Oh, give me a break. 295 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,130 Why don't you give me this kind of attention 296 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,865 when I do real stuff like striking out 11 297 00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,301 guys without walking anybody? 298 00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,402 OK. 299 00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,237 Way to go. 300 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,605 Yeah. 301 00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,107 You ever brag about that to Jackie and Crystal? 302 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,475 No. 303 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,477 But all of a sudden, some guy asked me to some lame dance 304 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,146 and I'm a big deal. 305 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,981 That's so sick. 306 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,383 Well, how come you never said anything about this before now? 307 00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,985 Oh why bother? 308 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,253 No. You come here. 309 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,654 I want to talk about this some more. 310 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,555 Fine. 311 00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,823 Go ahead. 312 00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:30,791 Man. 313 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,860 You are such a spoiled brat-- 314 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:37,197 [music playing] 315 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,709 Roseanne? 316 00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,712 I told you I wanted every customer to have a flower. 317 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:53,781 Oh, not now, Leon. 318 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,716 I ain't in the mood. 319 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,752 Roseanne, this customer does not have a flower. 320 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,687 So find a vase and give him one. 321 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,965 Well, someone forgot to take her polite pill this morning. 322 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,666 Huh? 323 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,835 Leon, why don't you lay off? 324 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,804 She's having a bad day. 325 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,505 Good afternoon, everybody. 326 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,107 Ms. Wagner. 327 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,208 For you. 328 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,543 A freshly cut spring flower. 329 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,612 How sweet. 330 00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:26,713 Hey, Leon. 331 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,981 I've got to get out of here early 332 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,282 so I can go to my kid's baseball game. 333 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,183 No. 334 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,284 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 335 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,786 This is our evaluation day. 336 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,621 Remember? 337 00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:38,158 Now, please have a seat. 338 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:43,563 And observe your well-oiled Rod Bell's machine in action. 339 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,903 I have a better idea. 340 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,639 Shoot. 341 00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,876 Why don't the two of us find a nice little Italian restaurant, 342 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:59,679 order a bottle of Chianti, and get to know each other? 343 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,580 Whoa. 344 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,315 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 345 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,284 Way too much information in that sentence. 346 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,124 These evaluations are just so dull. 347 00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,727 I thought we could find something more exciting to do. 348 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:22,369 You're coming on to me here, right? 349 00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,172 I'm trying. 350 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:28,375 Well, I would like a cup of coffee. 351 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,977 Would you like a cup of coffee? 352 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:30,810 Sure. 353 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,482 Go for it, stud. 354 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,584 No way. 355 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:38,651 Come on, Leon. 356 00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,020 Where else are you going to find a woman 357 00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:43,790 that good-looking and that desperate? 358 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,724 Nope. 359 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,359 Not interested. 360 00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,261 Well, go on over there. 361 00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,297 You know, if you take her out, I can leave. 362 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,600 So stop acting like you've got some integrity and go do it. 363 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,734 No. 364 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,204 I'm not looking for this kind of relationship. 365 00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,972 Oh, she don't want no relationship. 366 00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:03,010 She just wants a little slap and tickle. 367 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,912 Think of it as a career move, Leon. 368 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,246 Yeah, Leon. 369 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,948 Maybe you'll get promoted to some restaurant where, like, 370 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,650 the employees respect you. 371 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,219 Look, I'm not sleeping with her 372 00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,821 just so you can go home early. 373 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,756 Jeez, ask you for one little favor. 374 00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:26,699 Linda, I really appreciate your offer. 375 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,936 It's very flattering. 376 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:32,439 But I'm already seeing somebody else. 377 00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,406 You are not. 378 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,241 Am too. 379 00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,078 Leon, don't worry. 380 00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,647 It's OK. 381 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,849 But it could have been fun. 382 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,750 OK. 383 00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,953 Let's talk about this restaurant. 384 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,055 Thank you. 385 00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,722 Rosie, am I missing something here? 386 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,059 I mean, what does she see in him? 387 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,793 Oh. 388 00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,295 I mean if you were single, would you even-- 389 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,229 No. 390 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,464 Well, what if he was, like, rich? 391 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,365 No. 392 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,366 Or like a movie star? 393 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,567 - No. - Royalty or something? 394 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,468 Uh huh, no. 395 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,402 Uh huh. 396 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,670 If he were the last man on earth? 397 00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,805 I'd demand a recount. 398 00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,608 [music playing] 399 00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,945 DAN: I didn't think I could use the tickets 400 00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,281 so I gave them to a friend. 401 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,482 Yeah, Dad. 402 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,750 I know how hard it was for you to get the tickets. 403 00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:21,621 But well, now Darlene is not going to dance. 404 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,891 So OK. 405 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,094 How many coffee filters would you have to sell for me 406 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,396 to get two more tickets? 407 00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,297 OK. 408 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,033 Put me down for 25,000. 409 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:33,933 Yeah, Dad. 410 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:34,801 See what you could do. 411 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,603 Thanks. 412 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,505 Honey, the kids are going to have to start drinking coffee. 413 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,310 What's this about Darlene's not going to the dance? 414 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,013 Yeah. She called Barry and backed out. 415 00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:46,913 Damn it. 416 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,648 I knew that was going to happen. 417 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:52,152 Now I have to go talk to her. 418 00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,622 The thing is, Dan, this is all my fault. 419 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,158 Imagine that. 420 00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,593 I mean, you spend all your life trying to teach your kids 421 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,529 that they are always wrong and then something like this 422 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,496 has to go and happen. 423 00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:07,734 Darlene. 424 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,240 Hi. 425 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,407 Hey. 426 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,243 Can I come in? 427 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,412 I guess so. 428 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,148 Well, I tried to get off early from work today 429 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,982 so I could go to your practice. 430 00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:23,950 Yeah. 431 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,186 Well, we don't practice on Fridays. 432 00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,354 Oh well, good. 433 00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,822 Then I didn't miss anything. 434 00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:30,990 When's the next game? 435 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:31,891 It's all right, Mom. 436 00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,959 You don't have to come. 437 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,027 No. 438 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,262 Next time you bean somebody in the neck, 439 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,564 I want to be there cheering you on. 440 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,865 Fine. 441 00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,768 Then you'd just better know that when I pitch, I spit. 442 00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,635 So? 443 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,106 When I dust, I spit. 444 00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,407 I've got a great idea. 445 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,341 I just thought of this. 446 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,976 Hey. 447 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,645 You ought to call up Barry and tell him that you 448 00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,846 will go to the dance, you know? 449 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,416 And just wear whatever you want and have your hair 450 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,551 how ever you want it. 451 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,853 No. 452 00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:01,954 Come on, Darlene. 453 00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,690 Don't miss out on this just to get back at me. 454 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,058 There's better ways to get back at me. 455 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,194 Maybe Becky's boyfriend has a little brother. 456 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,365 Mom, I didn't blow the dance because of you. 457 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,501 I mean, it was a lot of things. 458 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,336 Like every time I would put on those dresses, 459 00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,505 everybody would start treating me weird. 460 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,873 I just didn't feel like the same person anymore. 461 00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:26,679 Well, you know, you kind of are not quite like same person 462 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,580 anymore. 463 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:28,415 You know? 464 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,922 Well. 465 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,258 Sorry, I guess I shouldn't do that. 466 00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,027 That's OK. 467 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,932 Look, I just may never get into proms and stuff. 468 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,767 I mean I like dating and boys and everything. 469 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,102 It's just that I don't think you should 470 00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:53,640 have to go through all the crap to get to the good stuff. 471 00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,542 You've been hanging out with Aunt Jackie too much. 472 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,412 Look. 473 00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,248 I'm sorry that I threw that dress on the floor. 474 00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,249 It's OK. 475 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,251 They took it back. 476 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,219 Hey, I did buy you these shoes, though, that I think 477 00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,120 you'll really, really like. 478 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,121 Here. 479 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,956 Mom, I can't wear those high heels. 480 00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,891 Now just open the box. 481 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,725 Oh man. 482 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:18,765 Golf shoes? 483 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,572 Mom, you got me golf shoes? 484 00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,539 Oh. 485 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:30,310 You mean they're not baseball shoes? 486 00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,212 I should have listened to the sales guy. 487 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,714 I just thought these were way cuter. 488 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,584 [music playing] 489 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,287 Let's go, Dad. 490 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,721 It's almost time for tip off. 491 00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:45,658 I had to change into my lucky sweats. 492 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:49,529 Man, this is going to be way better than some stupid dance. 493 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,698 Hey, I'll bet you $5 Jordan pulls a triple double. 494 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,599 What are you? 495 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,666 Nuts? 496 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,001 You'd have to be crazy to take that bet. 497 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,436 Well, I'll give you the odds. 498 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,606 No way. 499 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,208 So where'd Mom run off to hide this time? 500 00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,375 Jackie's. 501 00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,011 Oh, you know she's coming to your game Monday. 502 00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,646 Yeah, I know. 503 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,980 Hey, you don't think if it's, like, cold 504 00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,048 out, she'll run out to the pitcher's 505 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,082 mound to give me my sweater? 506 00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,150 Do you? 507 00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,052 I think you can pretty much count on it. 508 00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,221 As a matter of fact, she's probably 509 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,688 sewing your baseball mitt onto the sleeve 510 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,725 of your uniform right now. 511 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,059 Oh here they come. 512 00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:24,697 Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls. 513 00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:25,598 Aw, man. 514 00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,533 Let it ring. 515 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,434 That's all right. 516 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,968 I'll get it. Come on, man. 517 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:29,769 Put it up. Put it up. 518 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,037 Foul, foul. 519 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,639 Get in the game. 520 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,174 Speak. 521 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,043 Barry, hey. 522 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:37,944 No. 523 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679 I'm not mad at you. 524 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,482 No, I thought you were mad at me. 525 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,251 Pizza? 526 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,386 Now? 527 00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,789 Well, I'm kind of watching the game with my dad. 528 00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,023 Well, I don't know. 529 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,828 Sure I can ditch him. 530 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:56,729 Yeah. 531 00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,631 I'll see you in like 10. 532 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,568 OK, bye. 533 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:02,735 Sorry, Dad. 534 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,571 Try to be back by dawn. 535 00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,472 Yeah. 536 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,406 We'll play it by ear. 537 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,245 What are you up to, Filbert? 538 00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,814 Nothing. 539 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,284 Hey, Deej. 540 00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:20,119 Who do you like in the playoff? 541 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,521 What's a playoff? 542 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,489 Ho-ho-ho. 543 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,123 Park it right here, bud. 544 00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:27,193 I'll tell you all about it. 545 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,695 You got any money? 546 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,564 [music] 547 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,808 Well, another day, another dollar. 548 00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:42,909 Huh, ladies? 549 00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,144 Well, I haven't exactly counted my tips yet. 550 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,245 But that sounds about right. 551 00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,449 Hey, Leon. 552 00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,551 How'd we do on that evaluation? 553 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,086 Well, somehow we did very well. 554 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,455 Well, then it was probably a good thing 555 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,923 that you didn't sleep with her. 556 00:20:56,956 --> 00:21:00,159 Because, you know, we might have all got fired. 557 00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,294 Hello, Leon. 558 00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:02,194 You ready? 559 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,095 Yeah. 560 00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,298 Almost. 561 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:06,899 Oh, there's my blue shirt. 562 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,335 I was looking all over for that this morning. 563 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,005 Sorry. 564 00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,708 Roseanne, Bonnie, this is my friend, Jerry Gimble. 565 00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,109 - Oh hi. - It's nice to meet you. 566 00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,210 How do you do? - Nice to meet you, too. 567 00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,312 Hi. 568 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:22,815 Leon had told me so much about both of you. 569 00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:25,618 So Leon, we do have 7 o'clock dinner reservations. 570 00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,420 And I'm sure that Phil and Tom are already there. 571 00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,455 So perhaps-- - OK. 572 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,288 OK. 573 00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,726 Do it all again tomorrow, shall we? 574 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,161 ROSEANNE: Definitely. All righty. 575 00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,963 - Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you, too. 576 00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:37,497 Bye. - See you. 577 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:45,638 Oh. 578 00:21:45,688 --> 00:21:50,238 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37620

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.