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1
00:00:00,401 --> 00:00:02,736
[music]
2
00:00:02,770 --> 00:00:06,474
[theme music]
3
00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,344
JACKIE: Well, yeah.
4
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,480
So this one's OK.
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:13,614
No.
6
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,049
You don't want to get a
used washer and dryer.
7
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,350
I can't afford a new one.
8
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,486
You're going to put
clothes that touch your body
9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,222
into somebody's filthy machine?
10
00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,990
I do it here all the time.
11
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,829
Here but our filth is family.
12
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:31,432
What's your problem?
13
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:32,933
I just think if you
get a washer and dryer,
14
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,203
you're not going to come
around here no more.
15
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:37,305
I'm still going to come over.
16
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,339
No, you won't.
17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,675
Nobody comes here
unless they have to.
18
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,576
I got to eat.
19
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:44,378
Don't I?
- Yeah.
20
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,846
And you'll probably
learn how to cook.
21
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,316
And then you'll start going
off to the supermarket
22
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:50,118
with your fancy new
washer and dryer.
23
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,051
OK, OK.
24
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,220
I'll throw the paper away.
25
00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:55,156
You're in no condition
to discuss this now.
26
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:57,057
Mom, can I have the
car on Saturday night?
27
00:00:57,091 --> 00:00:58,159
Yeah.
28
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,793
Only if you promise to
bring it back really
29
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:03,797
dirty and totally out of gas.
30
00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:05,166
Well, Mark's truck
is in the shop.
31
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,435
So I'm driving us
to the spring dance.
32
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:08,902
Spring dance.
33
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:11,071
Boy, does that
bring back memories.
34
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:14,975
Yeah Waiting around for weeks
for some cool guy to ask you.
35
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:19,012
And then ending up going with
some loser like Glen Dickerson.
36
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:19,913
Why?
37
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:21,982
Was he a geek or something?
38
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:22,883
Ask Jackie.
39
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:23,717
It's her memory.
40
00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:26,487
No.
41
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,855
He was not a geek.
42
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:31,392
He was the only kid in 10th
grade that carried a lunch box.
43
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:32,326
OK, champ.
44
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,528
Let's ice down
that pitching arm.
45
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:35,429
How was the game?
46
00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:36,597
Oh, it was OK.
47
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,498
OK?
48
00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,333
She was throwing BBs out there.
49
00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:40,268
[phone rings]
50
00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,101
BECKY: I'll get it.
51
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,639
11 strikeouts.
No walks.
52
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,107
She made their best hitter cry.
53
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,008
Yeah.
54
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,109
I beaned her right in the neck.
55
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:50,278
Wow.
56
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,645
That was an accident, right?
57
00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,682
Grow up.
58
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:55,683
It's for you, Darlene.
59
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:56,784
It's Barry.
60
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,086
Yeah?
61
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,454
Hey, Barry.
How are you doing?
62
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,655
Hey.
63
00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:02,756
Did Crystal drop anything
off for me here today?
64
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:03,691
There's an envelope
there on the counter.
65
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:04,658
Yes.
66
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,560
Thanks to my
well-connected father,
67
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:09,463
I now possess two tickets
to the Bulls playoff
68
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:10,864
game this Saturday night.
69
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,667
Well, don't expect me to go
to a baseball game with you.
70
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,336
It's basketball, Roseanne.
71
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:16,570
Ah, get off my back.
72
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:19,373
The answer still no.
73
00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:21,942
Damn, I guess I'll have
to find somebody else then.
74
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,544
Hey, I like basketball.
75
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:24,445
Really.
76
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,346
How fascinating.
77
00:02:25,379 --> 00:02:27,348
But you know?
78
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:30,651
I think I'm going to
surprise Darlene with these.
79
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,653
How bizarre.
80
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:33,754
That was Barry.
81
00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:36,123
And he just invited me
to the spring dance.
82
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:40,060
Well, all right, Butch.
83
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,462
When is this thing, Darlene?
84
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,431
Oh, it's this Saturday night.
85
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,598
Saturday, huh?
86
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:45,499
Yeah.
87
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:47,134
Can you drive us?
88
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,135
No problem.
89
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,036
Oh,
90
00:02:49,069 --> 00:02:50,438
Darlene.
91
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:51,472
Congratulations.
92
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,374
It's your first formal dance.
93
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,943
God, you'll remember this
for the rest of your life.
94
00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:58,579
Honey, what are
you going to wear?
95
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,180
Well, I was thinking
I'd go down to the mall--
96
00:03:00,214 --> 00:03:01,081
Sh, sh, sh.
97
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,182
I'm not talking to you.
98
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:07,087
[theme music]
99
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:50,264
[cackle]
100
00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:53,667
[music playing]
101
00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,139
OK.
102
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:03,477
So whatever I decide that
Darlene likes best, we'll keep.
103
00:04:03,511 --> 00:04:09,683
And what do you think of these
shoes with that blue dress?
104
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:10,584
Oh, clash.
105
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:11,619
You know?
106
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,321
What about something
with an open toe?
107
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,221
No.
108
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,524
Nobody wants to see her feet.
109
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:17,425
Ah, Roseanne.
110
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,826
And Bonnie.
111
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:20,193
Hi, Leon.
112
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:24,465
This is Linda Wagner from Rod
Bell's company headquarters.
113
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,468
She's here to see how
hard we're always working.
114
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,902
Oh cool.
115
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,804
Hey, Linda.
116
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:33,607
What do you think of these
shoes with this dress?
117
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,442
I think they work.
118
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:40,848
Roseanne is sort of
our restaurant cut up.
119
00:04:40,881 --> 00:04:41,882
Let's try this again.
120
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:43,884
Shall we?
121
00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,854
Miss Wagner is here
to look over our store
122
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:50,458
and evaluate our employees.
123
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,493
That doesn't mean I have
to take a lie detector test,
124
00:04:52,526 --> 00:04:54,094
does it?
125
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,164
Because every time I take
one of them, I get fired.
126
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:58,599
- Oh god.
- No.
127
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,868
What I'd really like to do is
just conduct a short interview
128
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,135
with each of you.
129
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,371
Fantastic.
OK.
130
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,472
Who would like to start?
131
00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,273
Roseanne, I think I
see your hand up there.
132
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,174
Perfect.
133
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,442
All right, Bonnie.
134
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,943
Why don't we just
leave these two
135
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:15,182
alone to chat while we tidy up
and serve our happy customers?
136
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:18,352
I promise this
won't take long.
137
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,221
Well, now this ain't one
of those "if I could be
138
00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:24,892
any animal on earth, what animal
would I be" kind of deals,
139
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,193
is it?
140
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,661
No.
141
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,296
Let me start by asking
you about your boss.
142
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,197
Oh.
143
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:33,801
So it is an animal question.
144
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,769
I was wondering, is he single?
145
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,004
Leon?
146
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:40,273
Of course he's single.
147
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:41,642
Well, I find him
very attractive.
148
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:42,743
Don't you?
149
00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,446
Well, OK.
150
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:49,116
I suppose that in
kind of an off beat--
151
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:50,518
oh, what the hell?
152
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,220
Put me down for no.
153
00:05:53,253 --> 00:05:54,955
There's just
something about him.
154
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:58,225
He's got this
mysterious charisma.
155
00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,861
Uh huh.
156
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:02,195
It's strange.
157
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,498
The second I looked at him,
this voice in my head said,
158
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:08,569
I want that man.
159
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,070
How long you've been
on the road, Linda?
160
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:14,842
Almost six weeks.
Why?
161
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,877
Time to go home.
162
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,480
[music playing]
163
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,918
Darlene, would you
please come down here?
164
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,521
Jeez, where is she?
I want to see some action.
165
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,857
Oh, oh, you know
this is so exciting.
166
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,625
Sometimes I wish my
Lonny was a little girl
167
00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,728
so I could get him all
dolled up in a pretty dress.
168
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,299
I don't do that, of course.
169
00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:45,138
Oh well, take my breath away.
170
00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,574
This is exquisite.
171
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,310
Obviously a woman of taste.
172
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,278
You look weird.
173
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:54,014
You smell weird.
174
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:55,215
What?
175
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,851
Hm.
176
00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,521
Try on the blue one.
177
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,089
Why?
178
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,324
Because I really don't
know how I feel about this
179
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,027
dress until I see
you in the blue one.
180
00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:07,995
Oh God.
181
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,767
Becky.
182
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,768
Go with her.
183
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,237
Don't leave her alone
with that dress.
184
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:21,174
[music playing]
185
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:22,610
This is a joke, right?
186
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,511
No.
187
00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:24,745
It's not bad.
188
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,846
Well, come on.
189
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:27,080
I mean you've been to
these things before.
190
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,682
Is this going to work?
191
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,518
Well, that depends on
what you're going as.
192
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:31,418
Yeah.
193
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,521
Well, what are you wearing?
194
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,688
Oh I decided not to go.
195
00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:36,289
These things are so immature.
196
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:37,157
Mark bailed.
197
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,726
Huh?
198
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,427
Well, it was kind
of awkward for him.
199
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,730
I mean, the Spanish teacher
he was dating in 11th grade
200
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,432
is going to be chaperone.
201
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,333
OK.
202
00:07:46,366 --> 00:07:47,568
You want to look in the mirror?
203
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,401
Sure.
204
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:53,774
Oh, why did I do that?
205
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:54,675
OK.
206
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:55,776
She wants to see the blue dress.
207
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,144
Let's show her the blue dress.
208
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,087
It's too blue.
209
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,292
Looked better on the hanger.
210
00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,397
Rhubarb with hair.
211
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:25,305
Makes too much
noise when I walk.
212
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,306
Makes me look lopsided.
213
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:33,313
Well, you do look
like Judy Jetson.
214
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:38,085
[music playing]
215
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:38,986
ROSEANNE: Oh, yeah.
216
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:39,887
Yeah.
217
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,388
Yeah.
218
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:44,324
This is definitely it.
219
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,126
Mhm.
220
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,461
Mom, this is the
first one that I had on.
221
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:49,362
I know that.
222
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,463
But these shoes.
223
00:08:50,497 --> 00:08:51,665
You see, they totally
make the difference.
224
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,733
They make the outfit.
225
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,901
Am I right?
- Oh yeah.
226
00:08:53,934 --> 00:08:54,802
Nice shoes.
227
00:08:54,835 --> 00:08:55,703
Yeah.
228
00:08:55,736 --> 00:08:57,938
The shoes, definitely.
229
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,840
See, but now you're going
to have to start shaving
230
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,109
your legs below the sock line.
231
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:04,745
Those aren't socks.
232
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,213
Oh, Dan.
233
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:09,449
Come on in here and meet your
beautiful, young daughter.
234
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:10,350
Wow.
235
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,451
You look incredible.
236
00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:12,920
DARLENE: Thanks.
237
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:14,888
ROSEANNE: Maybe you ought to
see her in the yellow one.
238
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,256
- Mom.
- No, no, no, no.
239
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,490
This is perfect.
240
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:18,826
Besides, I have the first dance.
241
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:19,960
May I?
242
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,494
Oh, just shoot me now.
243
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,639
You really do
look nice, you know.
244
00:09:31,672 --> 00:09:32,740
Thanks.
245
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,207
And you dance divinely.
246
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,576
I'm stepping all
over your feet.
247
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,378
I happen to enjoy that.
248
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,546
I hate slow dancing.
249
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,681
Well, listen.
250
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,916
If this Barry guy tries
to hold you too close,
251
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:44,618
just tell him you're
going to throw up.
252
00:09:44,652 --> 00:09:46,586
Oh I thought I'd save that
for when he wants to have sex.
253
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:52,826
Gotta go.
254
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:54,762
Mom, I'm going to go
change into human clothes.
255
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,129
Oh no.
No.
256
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,799
We've got to decide what we're
going to do about your hair.
257
00:09:58,832 --> 00:09:59,933
Stop it.
258
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:00,834
No.
259
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,035
I like my hair the way it is.
260
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:02,970
I know what we'll do.
261
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,537
We'll go and get a makeover.
262
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,239
We'll all go together
Saturday before the dance.
263
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,140
No.
264
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,041
Forget it.
265
00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,242
Come on, Darlene.
266
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,711
This is something I always
wanted to do with you.
267
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:13,781
It'd be like a girl thing.
268
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:15,749
Mom, I have
practice on Saturday.
269
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:16,850
Well, you can just miss it.
270
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:18,251
No, I can't.
271
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,853
If I miss practice, I might not
get to start in the next game.
272
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:20,954
Well, gee.
273
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:22,255
Darlene, this is your
first formal dance.
274
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,657
It's way more important.
275
00:10:23,691 --> 00:10:24,557
Yeah?
276
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,059
Well, then why don't you go?
277
00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,527
Because I have
nothing to wear.
278
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,702
[door slam]
279
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,540
Well you better go practice.
280
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,642
You missed me by a mile.
281
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,543
Hey, hey.
282
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,578
That's not paid for yet.
283
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,479
Take it back.
284
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,380
Take them all back.
285
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,716
I'll get my own dress.
286
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:49,883
You pick it up.
287
00:10:49,917 --> 00:10:50,918
No.
288
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,385
Pick it up, Darlene.
289
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,386
Why?
290
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,822
So you can play
Barbie doll some more?
291
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:55,723
Forget it.
292
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:56,924
What are you talking about?
293
00:10:56,957 --> 00:11:00,660
I bought you a beautiful
dress for the dance.
294
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,795
Oh, give me a break.
295
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,130
Why don't you give me
this kind of attention
296
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,865
when I do real stuff
like striking out 11
297
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,301
guys without walking anybody?
298
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,402
OK.
299
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:10,237
Way to go.
300
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,605
Yeah.
301
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,107
You ever brag about that
to Jackie and Crystal?
302
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,475
No.
303
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,477
But all of a sudden, some guy
asked me to some lame dance
304
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,146
and I'm a big deal.
305
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,981
That's so sick.
306
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,383
Well, how come you never said
anything about this before now?
307
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,985
Oh why bother?
308
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,253
No.
You come here.
309
00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:27,654
I want to talk about
this some more.
310
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,555
Fine.
311
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,823
Go ahead.
312
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:30,791
Man.
313
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:32,860
You are such a spoiled brat--
314
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:37,197
[music playing]
315
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,709
Roseanne?
316
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:52,712
I told you I wanted every
customer to have a flower.
317
00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:53,781
Oh, not now, Leon.
318
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:56,716
I ain't in the mood.
319
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,752
Roseanne, this customer
does not have a flower.
320
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,687
So find a vase and give him one.
321
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,965
Well, someone forgot to take
her polite pill this morning.
322
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:13,666
Huh?
323
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,835
Leon, why don't you lay off?
324
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,804
She's having a bad day.
325
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,505
Good afternoon, everybody.
326
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,107
Ms. Wagner.
327
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,208
For you.
328
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,543
A freshly cut spring flower.
329
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,612
How sweet.
330
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:26,713
Hey, Leon.
331
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:27,981
I've got to get
out of here early
332
00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:29,282
so I can go to my
kid's baseball game.
333
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:30,183
No.
334
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,284
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
335
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:32,786
This is our evaluation day.
336
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,621
Remember?
337
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:38,158
Now, please have a seat.
338
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:43,563
And observe your well-oiled
Rod Bell's machine in action.
339
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,903
I have a better idea.
340
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:52,639
Shoot.
341
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,876
Why don't the two of us find a
nice little Italian restaurant,
342
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:59,679
order a bottle of Chianti,
and get to know each other?
343
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:00,580
Whoa.
344
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,315
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
345
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,284
Way too much information
in that sentence.
346
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,124
These evaluations
are just so dull.
347
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:14,727
I thought we could find
something more exciting to do.
348
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:22,369
You're coming on
to me here, right?
349
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,172
I'm trying.
350
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:28,375
Well, I would like
a cup of coffee.
351
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,977
Would you like a cup of coffee?
352
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:30,810
Sure.
353
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,482
Go for it, stud.
354
00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,584
No way.
355
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:38,651
Come on, Leon.
356
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,020
Where else are you
going to find a woman
357
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:43,790
that good-looking
and that desperate?
358
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:44,724
Nope.
359
00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,359
Not interested.
360
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,261
Well, go on over there.
361
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:50,297
You know, if you take
her out, I can leave.
362
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:53,600
So stop acting like you've got
some integrity and go do it.
363
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:54,734
No.
364
00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:57,204
I'm not looking for this
kind of relationship.
365
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:58,972
Oh, she don't want
no relationship.
366
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:03,010
She just wants a
little slap and tickle.
367
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,912
Think of it as a
career move, Leon.
368
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:06,246
Yeah, Leon.
369
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,948
Maybe you'll get promoted to
some restaurant where, like,
370
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,650
the employees respect you.
371
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,219
Look, I'm not
sleeping with her
372
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,821
just so you can go home early.
373
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,756
Jeez, ask you for
one little favor.
374
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:26,699
Linda, I really
appreciate your offer.
375
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,936
It's very flattering.
376
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:32,439
But I'm already
seeing somebody else.
377
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:33,406
You are not.
378
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:34,241
Am too.
379
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,078
Leon, don't worry.
380
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,647
It's OK.
381
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,849
But it could have been fun.
382
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:43,750
OK.
383
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,953
Let's talk about
this restaurant.
384
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,055
Thank you.
385
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,722
Rosie, am I missing
something here?
386
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:52,059
I mean, what does
she see in him?
387
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,793
Oh.
388
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,295
I mean if you were
single, would you even--
389
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,229
No.
390
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,464
Well, what if he
was, like, rich?
391
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,365
No.
392
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,366
Or like a movie star?
393
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,567
- No.
- Royalty or something?
394
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:01,468
Uh huh, no.
395
00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:02,402
Uh huh.
396
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:03,670
If he were the
last man on earth?
397
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:05,805
I'd demand a recount.
398
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:08,608
[music playing]
399
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:11,945
DAN: I didn't think I
could use the tickets
400
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,281
so I gave them to a friend.
401
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,482
Yeah, Dad.
402
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,750
I know how hard it was for
you to get the tickets.
403
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:21,621
But well, now Darlene
is not going to dance.
404
00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,891
So OK.
405
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,094
How many coffee filters
would you have to sell for me
406
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,396
to get two more tickets?
407
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,297
OK.
408
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,033
Put me down for 25,000.
409
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:33,933
Yeah, Dad.
410
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:34,801
See what you could do.
411
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,603
Thanks.
412
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,505
Honey, the kids are going to
have to start drinking coffee.
413
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,310
What's this about Darlene's
not going to the dance?
414
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,013
Yeah.
She called Barry and backed out.
415
00:15:46,046 --> 00:15:46,913
Damn it.
416
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,648
I knew that was going to happen.
417
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:52,152
Now I have to go talk to her.
418
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,622
The thing is, Dan,
this is all my fault.
419
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,158
Imagine that.
420
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:00,593
I mean, you spend all your
life trying to teach your kids
421
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,529
that they are always wrong
and then something like this
422
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:03,496
has to go and happen.
423
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:07,734
Darlene.
424
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,240
Hi.
425
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,407
Hey.
426
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,243
Can I come in?
427
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,412
I guess so.
428
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:21,148
Well, I tried to get
off early from work today
429
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,982
so I could go to your practice.
430
00:16:23,016 --> 00:16:23,950
Yeah.
431
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,186
Well, we don't
practice on Fridays.
432
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,354
Oh well, good.
433
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:29,822
Then I didn't miss anything.
434
00:16:29,856 --> 00:16:30,990
When's the next game?
435
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:31,891
It's all right, Mom.
436
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:32,959
You don't have to come.
437
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,027
No.
438
00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:35,262
Next time you bean
somebody in the neck,
439
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,564
I want to be there
cheering you on.
440
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:38,865
Fine.
441
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:41,768
Then you'd just better know
that when I pitch, I spit.
442
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:42,635
So?
443
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:46,106
When I dust, I spit.
444
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,407
I've got a great idea.
445
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:48,341
I just thought of this.
446
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:49,976
Hey.
447
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,645
You ought to call up Barry
and tell him that you
448
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:53,846
will go to the dance, you know?
449
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,416
And just wear whatever you
want and have your hair
450
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,551
how ever you want it.
451
00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,853
No.
452
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:01,954
Come on, Darlene.
453
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,690
Don't miss out on this
just to get back at me.
454
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,058
There's better ways
to get back at me.
455
00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:07,194
Maybe Becky's boyfriend
has a little brother.
456
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:12,365
Mom, I didn't blow the
dance because of you.
457
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,501
I mean, it was a lot of things.
458
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,336
Like every time I would
put on those dresses,
459
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:18,505
everybody would start
treating me weird.
460
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,873
I just didn't feel like
the same person anymore.
461
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:26,679
Well, you know, you kind of
are not quite like same person
462
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,580
anymore.
463
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:28,415
You know?
464
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,922
Well.
465
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:38,258
Sorry, I guess I
shouldn't do that.
466
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:41,027
That's OK.
467
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,932
Look, I just may never
get into proms and stuff.
468
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:47,767
I mean I like dating
and boys and everything.
469
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,102
It's just that I
don't think you should
470
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:53,640
have to go through all the
crap to get to the good stuff.
471
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:55,542
You've been hanging out
with Aunt Jackie too much.
472
00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,412
Look.
473
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:01,248
I'm sorry that I threw
that dress on the floor.
474
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:02,249
It's OK.
475
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,251
They took it back.
476
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,219
Hey, I did buy you these
shoes, though, that I think
477
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:07,120
you'll really, really like.
478
00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:08,121
Here.
479
00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,956
Mom, I can't wear
those high heels.
480
00:18:09,989 --> 00:18:11,891
Now just open the box.
481
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:12,725
Oh man.
482
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:18,765
Golf shoes?
483
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:25,572
Mom, you got me golf shoes?
484
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:26,539
Oh.
485
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:30,310
You mean they're
not baseball shoes?
486
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,212
I should have listened
to the sales guy.
487
00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,714
I just thought these
were way cuter.
488
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:37,584
[music playing]
489
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,287
Let's go, Dad.
490
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,721
It's almost time for tip off.
491
00:18:41,754 --> 00:18:45,658
I had to change
into my lucky sweats.
492
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:49,529
Man, this is going to be way
better than some stupid dance.
493
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:51,698
Hey, I'll bet you $5 Jordan
pulls a triple double.
494
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,599
What are you?
495
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:53,666
Nuts?
496
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:55,001
You'd have to be crazy
to take that bet.
497
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,436
Well, I'll give you the odds.
498
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,606
No way.
499
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,208
So where'd Mom run
off to hide this time?
500
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:02,375
Jackie's.
501
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:05,011
Oh, you know she's coming
to your game Monday.
502
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:06,646
Yeah, I know.
503
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:07,980
Hey, you don't think
if it's, like, cold
504
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,048
out, she'll run out
to the pitcher's
505
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,082
mound to give me my sweater?
506
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,150
Do you?
507
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,052
I think you can
pretty much count on it.
508
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:14,221
As a matter of
fact, she's probably
509
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,688
sewing your baseball
mitt onto the sleeve
510
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,725
of your uniform right now.
511
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,059
Oh here they come.
512
00:19:20,092 --> 00:19:24,697
Bulls, Bulls, Bulls,
Bulls, Bulls, Bulls, Bulls.
513
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:25,598
Aw, man.
514
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:26,533
Let it ring.
515
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:27,434
That's all right.
516
00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:28,968
I'll get it.
Come on, man.
517
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:29,769
Put it up.
Put it up.
518
00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:31,037
Foul, foul.
519
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,639
Get in the game.
520
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,174
Speak.
521
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,043
Barry, hey.
522
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:37,944
No.
523
00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,679
I'm not mad at you.
524
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,482
No, I thought you
were mad at me.
525
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:44,251
Pizza?
526
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,386
Now?
527
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,789
Well, I'm kind of watching
the game with my dad.
528
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,023
Well, I don't know.
529
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,828
Sure I can ditch him.
530
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:56,729
Yeah.
531
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:58,631
I'll see you in like 10.
532
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:01,568
OK, bye.
533
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:02,735
Sorry, Dad.
534
00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:04,571
Try to be back by dawn.
535
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,472
Yeah.
536
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:06,406
We'll play it by ear.
537
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:12,245
What are you up to, Filbert?
538
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:14,814
Nothing.
539
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,284
Hey, Deej.
540
00:20:17,317 --> 00:20:20,119
Who do you like in the playoff?
541
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,521
What's a playoff?
542
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:22,489
Ho-ho-ho.
543
00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:24,123
Park it right here, bud.
544
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:27,193
I'll tell you all about it.
545
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:28,695
You got any money?
546
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,564
[music]
547
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:41,808
Well, another
day, another dollar.
548
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:42,909
Huh, ladies?
549
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,144
Well, I haven't exactly
counted my tips yet.
550
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,245
But that sounds about right.
551
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,449
Hey, Leon.
552
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,551
How'd we do on that evaluation?
553
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,086
Well, somehow
we did very well.
554
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,455
Well, then it was
probably a good thing
555
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,923
that you didn't sleep with her.
556
00:20:56,956 --> 00:21:00,159
Because, you know, we
might have all got fired.
557
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:01,294
Hello, Leon.
558
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:02,194
You ready?
559
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:03,095
Yeah.
560
00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:05,298
Almost.
561
00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:06,899
Oh, there's my blue shirt.
562
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,335
I was looking all over
for that this morning.
563
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,005
Sorry.
564
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,708
Roseanne, Bonnie, this is
my friend, Jerry Gimble.
565
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,109
- Oh hi.
- It's nice to meet you.
566
00:21:17,143 --> 00:21:18,210
How do you do?
- Nice to meet you, too.
567
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:19,312
Hi.
568
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:22,815
Leon had told me so
much about both of you.
569
00:21:22,849 --> 00:21:25,618
So Leon, we do have 7
o'clock dinner reservations.
570
00:21:25,652 --> 00:21:27,420
And I'm sure that Phil
and Tom are already there.
571
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:28,455
So perhaps--
- OK.
572
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,288
OK.
573
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:33,726
Do it all again
tomorrow, shall we?
574
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,161
ROSEANNE: Definitely.
All righty.
575
00:21:35,194 --> 00:21:36,963
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
576
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:37,497
Bye.
- See you.
577
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:45,638
Oh.
578
00:21:45,688 --> 00:21:50,238
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