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(waves crash)
2
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(footsteps crunch)
3
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(insects buzz)
4
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:47,856
(birds chirp)
5
00:01:50,942 --> 00:01:53,359
(John pants)
6
00:02:10,977 --> 00:02:13,078
We routinely adjust our interpretation
7
00:02:13,079 --> 00:02:15,728
of events and our scientific theories
8
00:02:15,728 --> 00:02:19,896
to satisfy the dogmatic
requirements of our beliefs.
9
00:02:20,218 --> 00:02:22,056
Our beliefs set the boundaries
10
00:02:22,056 --> 00:02:26,223
and define the limits of our
science, they always have.
11
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True skepticism is open mindedness,
12
00:02:32,417 --> 00:02:36,584
the enemy of dogma. It's
not about your body,
13
00:02:36,754 --> 00:02:38,433
you're consciousness,
that is what you are.
14
00:02:38,435 --> 00:02:40,688
Your consciousness is
already out of your body,
15
00:02:40,689 --> 00:02:42,730
you don't, you don't need
to get out of your body,
16
00:02:42,731 --> 00:02:45,757
you just need to get
into your consciousness.
17
00:02:45,758 --> 00:02:47,688
What do the facts of your life,
18
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,643
the facts of your existence,
and your results say
19
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,199
about the quality of your consciousness,
20
00:02:53,484 --> 00:02:56,439
the effectiveness of your process,
21
00:02:56,441 --> 00:02:58,884
or the size of your picture?
22
00:02:58,885 --> 00:03:02,816
(slow orchestral music)
23
00:03:02,817 --> 00:03:05,317
(sirens wail)
24
00:03:07,846 --> 00:03:11,179
(slow orchestral music)
25
00:03:33,938 --> 00:03:36,438
(ice rattles)
26
00:03:40,313 --> 00:03:41,487
(liquid splashes)
27
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:44,471
(ice rattles)
28
00:03:44,472 --> 00:03:47,889
(espresso machine whirs)
29
00:03:51,229 --> 00:03:54,396
(overlapping chatter)
30
00:03:57,445 --> 00:04:00,028
(beans rattle)
31
00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:08,651
(dishes clink)
32
00:04:08,651 --> 00:04:11,760
[Therapist] So how is everything?
33
00:04:11,762 --> 00:04:15,929
[Ivan] As good as good can
get, given the circumstance.
34
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,399
[Therapist] Last time we talked a lot
35
00:04:18,399 --> 00:04:21,125
about you wanting to escape.
36
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:22,543
Yeah, it's like
37
00:04:23,606 --> 00:04:24,606
a heaviness,
38
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:26,932
a pressure
39
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:31,221
from people, just the noise.
40
00:04:32,286 --> 00:04:35,004
How's the Zyprexa treating you?
41
00:04:35,004 --> 00:04:36,279
Okay.
42
00:04:36,281 --> 00:04:38,784
[Therapist] Any weight gain?
43
00:04:38,786 --> 00:04:40,202
Yeah, a little.
44
00:04:41,488 --> 00:04:43,557
[Therapist] You look the same to me.
45
00:04:43,557 --> 00:04:46,088
I win I guess.
46
00:04:46,088 --> 00:04:47,740
[Therapist] I've been
meaning to ask you,
47
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,726
are you still smoking?
48
00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:50,935
Yeah.
49
00:04:50,935 --> 00:04:54,827
You know smoking's bad for you, right?
50
00:04:54,829 --> 00:04:58,509
Let me ask you this, and you
don't have to answer now,
51
00:04:58,509 --> 00:05:01,677
what are you most afraid
of in this moment?
52
00:05:01,678 --> 00:05:04,762
(slow ambient music)
53
00:05:05,598 --> 00:05:07,682
My mind going, I guess.
54
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,268
Forgetting who I am.
55
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,646
I just miss the time when
this didn't define me,
56
00:05:15,646 --> 00:05:16,646
or define my
57
00:05:17,798 --> 00:05:19,740
fate, I guess.
58
00:05:19,742 --> 00:05:21,564
That can't be easy.
59
00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:22,565
Yeah, but.
60
00:05:25,389 --> 00:05:28,915
You know, there are people
suffering all over the place,
61
00:05:28,915 --> 00:05:32,470
and people who have it a
lot worse than I do, so.
62
00:05:32,471 --> 00:05:36,303
Do you often think
about the pain of others?
63
00:05:38,014 --> 00:05:39,348
Yeah, I guess.
64
00:05:41,629 --> 00:05:45,129
But having something in common with people
65
00:05:46,192 --> 00:05:48,026
gives me some comfort.
66
00:05:49,423 --> 00:05:52,007
You know, even if that thing is
67
00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:54,629
suffering.
68
00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:59,360
Dead men.
69
00:06:01,471 --> 00:06:02,971
There's mountains.
70
00:06:04,245 --> 00:06:05,781
Europe has mountains.
71
00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,851
(coins clink)
72
00:06:07,853 --> 00:06:09,709
Birds, and flowers.
73
00:06:09,711 --> 00:06:12,536
(coins clink)
74
00:06:12,536 --> 00:06:15,536
We have military industrial complex,
75
00:06:17,629 --> 00:06:19,629
so it all goes to bombs.
76
00:06:21,079 --> 00:06:23,579
(coins clink)
77
00:06:25,488 --> 00:06:26,488
Lincoln.
78
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,404
Lincoln.
79
00:06:29,406 --> 00:06:30,572
Hey, Harold.
80
00:06:31,553 --> 00:06:32,449
How's it going?
81
00:06:32,451 --> 00:06:35,177
Oh, man, good to see you.
82
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,137
I'm really glad to have you here,
83
00:06:37,139 --> 00:06:38,632
you came all this way for me, man?
84
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,369
[Ivan] Yeah, not a problem.
85
00:06:40,370 --> 00:06:41,202
Thank you.
86
00:06:41,204 --> 00:06:43,112
You want a smoke, I got some.
87
00:06:43,113 --> 00:06:44,197
Yeah, yeah,
88
00:06:45,509 --> 00:06:46,908
yeah.
89
00:06:46,908 --> 00:06:47,908
Oh, yeah.
90
00:06:48,615 --> 00:06:49,946
These are the ones I've been talking
91
00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:52,425
to him about, man, I kept bringing it up
92
00:06:52,427 --> 00:06:55,473
and, oh, hell, you know how they can be.
93
00:06:55,473 --> 00:06:56,834
Yeah, I know how they can be.
94
00:06:56,836 --> 00:06:59,394
Yeah, it's hard, man, it's hard.
95
00:06:59,394 --> 00:07:02,141
It's, uh, nowadays, man, it's just,
96
00:07:02,141 --> 00:07:03,836
it's just hard to tell, right?
97
00:07:03,836 --> 00:07:05,083
I saw you counting your change,
98
00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:07,139
are you okay money wise?
99
00:07:07,141 --> 00:07:08,807
Yeah, yeah, no, I.
100
00:07:10,206 --> 00:07:13,538
It's paying the bills,
man, it's paying the bills.
101
00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:15,204
You know, I'm fixing up the house,
102
00:07:15,204 --> 00:07:17,122
I mean, my office, and,
103
00:07:18,331 --> 00:07:19,899
well, shit, you know, it's a lot of work,
104
00:07:19,899 --> 00:07:21,997
it's more shit than I can do, right?
105
00:07:21,997 --> 00:07:23,564
Yeah, yeah, oh, hey...
106
00:07:23,565 --> 00:07:24,838
What the fuck?
107
00:07:24,838 --> 00:07:26,976
They meant to tell you,
108
00:07:26,978 --> 00:07:30,310
they sent me your Christmas bonus early.
109
00:07:31,867 --> 00:07:34,048
No, that's gonna be a problem, man,
110
00:07:34,048 --> 00:07:37,362
that's not a good investment, no, no.
111
00:07:37,362 --> 00:07:39,696
Come on, you've earned it.
112
00:07:41,598 --> 00:07:43,235
Did they tell you that?
113
00:07:43,235 --> 00:07:44,832
Yeah.
114
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:48,103
Yeah, they tell you
this was tracked, man?
115
00:07:48,105 --> 00:07:48,937
What?
116
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:51,255
Yeah, yeah, they gotta
get their cut, man,
117
00:07:51,257 --> 00:07:54,637
and you bring a fucking tracked bill,
118
00:07:54,639 --> 00:07:57,245
no, no, it's okay, man.
119
00:07:57,245 --> 00:08:00,021
Yeah, you take it, it's okay.
120
00:08:00,023 --> 00:08:01,925
You had it before, man, it was no problem,
121
00:08:01,927 --> 00:08:04,093
okay, I just can't take
something like that, that's all.
122
00:08:04,095 --> 00:08:05,326
- Okay.
- Yeah.
123
00:08:05,327 --> 00:08:07,033
- I'll keep it.
- Yeah.
124
00:08:07,035 --> 00:08:09,701
Hey, what if, what if we just,
125
00:08:11,981 --> 00:08:13,980
that way they can't find us.
126
00:08:13,981 --> 00:08:16,975
(train crossing rings)
127
00:08:16,976 --> 00:08:18,726
You're one of them.
128
00:08:22,072 --> 00:08:24,213
You're one of them.
129
00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:26,798
(Harold cries)
130
00:08:28,526 --> 00:08:32,693
They're everywhere, man,
there's no stopping them now.
131
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,643
It's over.
132
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:35,936
It's over.
133
00:08:35,937 --> 00:08:38,860
(bottles clink)
134
00:08:38,861 --> 00:08:41,775
(dissonant orchestral music)
135
00:08:41,777 --> 00:08:43,475
All my work.
136
00:08:43,475 --> 00:08:47,400
(dissonant orchestral music)
137
00:08:47,402 --> 00:08:48,402
For nothing.
138
00:08:50,254 --> 00:08:51,432
For nothing.
139
00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:55,183
(dissonant orchestral music)
140
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,953
(lighter clicks)
141
00:09:27,928 --> 00:09:31,261
(slow rhythmic pulsing)
142
00:09:51,729 --> 00:09:55,479
(dissonant orchestral music)
143
00:10:25,806 --> 00:10:28,222
(Ivan gasps)
144
00:10:30,201 --> 00:10:31,201
(slow rhythmic pulsing)
145
00:10:39,269 --> 00:10:42,851
(Whispers)
146
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:50,556
[Woman] Ivan, hey man, you got this?
147
00:10:50,557 --> 00:10:52,355
Yeah, yeah, I got it.
148
00:10:52,356 --> 00:10:55,183
[Woman] Super small,
iced, leave room for cream.
149
00:10:55,184 --> 00:10:56,908
Mm, got it.
150
00:10:56,909 --> 00:11:00,325
(overlapping chatter)
151
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,753
(crickets chirp)
152
00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:06,504
(lighter clicks)
153
00:11:07,398 --> 00:11:09,860
(Ivan sighs)
154
00:11:09,861 --> 00:11:12,611
(crickets chirp)
155
00:11:18,173 --> 00:11:20,397
(Ivan sighs)
156
00:11:20,398 --> 00:11:23,148
(crickets chirp)
157
00:11:28,158 --> 00:11:29,408
[Emily] Ivan?
158
00:11:30,817 --> 00:11:32,399
Holy shit, Emily?
159
00:11:33,952 --> 00:11:35,365
Emily Fisher.
160
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:36,518
How are you?
161
00:11:36,519 --> 00:11:40,198
Not bad, just, yeah,
trying to keep from smoking,
162
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,866
which is hard, 'cause it's the
only thing that gives me joy.
163
00:11:43,868 --> 00:11:46,109
Okay, well, I had no
idea that you worked here,
164
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:47,341
I come here all the time.
165
00:11:47,341 --> 00:11:50,683
Oh, yeah, I work pretty late though, so.
166
00:11:50,684 --> 00:11:53,306
During the daylight I'm
trying to get my master's.
167
00:11:53,307 --> 00:11:54,139
Oh, yeah,
168
00:11:54,140 --> 00:11:56,748
I guess undergrad just doesn't
cut it like it used to.
169
00:11:56,749 --> 00:12:00,361
Exactly, well, Jesus, how about you?
170
00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:03,888
Well, I'm also no
stranger to the darkness.
171
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:07,120
That's perfect, that's perfect for you.
172
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,442
I guess, thank you, no, I'm
actually headed there now,
173
00:12:10,442 --> 00:12:13,211
so I wanted to get something
to help me keep my eyes open.
174
00:12:13,212 --> 00:12:14,769
Oh, yeah, don't let me hold you up.
175
00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:16,009
No, no, no, will you be here in like,
176
00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,981
three minutes, and I'll
catch you on my way out?
177
00:12:17,982 --> 00:12:18,995
Yeah, I'll be here.
178
00:12:18,995 --> 00:12:19,828
Okay.
179
00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:23,162
(slow electronic music)
180
00:12:37,113 --> 00:12:38,113
Hey,
181
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,527
so I'm off tomorrow, and.
182
00:12:43,165 --> 00:12:46,165
I know we're both tired and old-ish,
183
00:12:47,243 --> 00:12:51,409
would you maybe want to
grab a drink sometime?
184
00:12:51,427 --> 00:12:54,924
Not now, obviously, but at sometime soon?
185
00:12:54,926 --> 00:12:56,566
I, uh,
186
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,859
yeah,
187
00:12:57,860 --> 00:12:58,923
yes.
188
00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:00,336
Yes.
189
00:13:00,337 --> 00:13:01,750
Yeah.
190
00:13:01,751 --> 00:13:02,785
For sure.
191
00:13:02,787 --> 00:13:04,120
Alright, here.
192
00:13:06,330 --> 00:13:08,057
This is my number.
193
00:13:08,057 --> 00:13:10,703
(slow electronic music)
194
00:13:10,705 --> 00:13:13,504
How about you pick a place and a time
195
00:13:13,504 --> 00:13:15,788
and text me, and I'll meet you there?
196
00:13:15,789 --> 00:13:17,144
Yeah, I can do that.
197
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:19,552
(slow electronic music)
198
00:13:19,552 --> 00:13:21,725
Did I just ask you out?
199
00:13:21,725 --> 00:13:23,754
Yeah, it felt like it.
200
00:13:23,754 --> 00:13:25,070
Good.
201
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:28,403
(slow electronic music)
202
00:13:30,167 --> 00:13:31,591
Your drink.
203
00:13:31,592 --> 00:13:33,592
[Emily] Don't need it!
204
00:13:34,436 --> 00:13:37,186
(water splashes)
205
00:13:51,054 --> 00:13:53,638
Just go, just go, you got it.
206
00:13:55,951 --> 00:13:56,951
Go.
207
00:13:58,018 --> 00:13:59,067
Okay.
208
00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:02,235
(overlapping chatter)
209
00:14:03,875 --> 00:14:06,457
(radio blares)
210
00:14:13,572 --> 00:14:14,404
Boo.
211
00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:15,884
Ah, hey.
212
00:14:15,884 --> 00:14:17,717
Hey, how's it going?
213
00:14:18,797 --> 00:14:20,548
Good, you?
214
00:14:20,548 --> 00:14:22,107
Pretty good.
215
00:14:22,109 --> 00:14:23,356
Hey, what can I get you to drink?
216
00:14:23,357 --> 00:14:24,644
Is that good?
217
00:14:24,645 --> 00:14:26,711
Uh, yeah, I'm into it.
218
00:14:26,711 --> 00:14:27,924
[Emily] Can I have one of those, please?
219
00:14:27,926 --> 00:14:28,759
[Waitress] Sure.
220
00:14:28,759 --> 00:14:29,966
Thank you.
221
00:14:29,966 --> 00:14:31,900
This place is great.
222
00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:32,770
Is it too loud?
223
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,104
No, it's fine.
224
00:14:35,389 --> 00:14:36,389
So.
225
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,835
Spill it.
226
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:39,668
What?
227
00:14:39,669 --> 00:14:41,520
What have you been doing with your life?
228
00:14:41,522 --> 00:14:43,634
What are you getting your master's in?
229
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:46,614
It was physics before, but
then I got into consciousness,
230
00:14:46,615 --> 00:14:49,216
and I'm actually doing
this study right now,
231
00:14:49,216 --> 00:14:53,337
we're exploring out of body experiences.
232
00:14:53,338 --> 00:14:54,172
No kidding.
233
00:14:54,173 --> 00:14:56,572
Yeah, yeah, and I get to
be one of the guinea pigs
234
00:14:56,573 --> 00:14:58,546
that tries to have them.
235
00:14:58,547 --> 00:14:59,379
Dude, that's nuts.
236
00:14:59,380 --> 00:15:01,509
[Ivan] Yeah, right?
237
00:15:01,510 --> 00:15:03,244
Have you had one?
238
00:15:03,245 --> 00:15:06,859
It's, the other people
in the study for sure have.
239
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,076
We've had people in the hospital
240
00:15:08,077 --> 00:15:11,076
that say that they've left
their body during surgery.
241
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,461
When they're unconscious?
242
00:15:12,462 --> 00:15:15,960
Yeah, about two years ago
we had this woman who said
243
00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:17,772
that she saw her husband standing over her
244
00:15:17,773 --> 00:15:19,756
in the OR when she was
under, and this was for,
245
00:15:19,758 --> 00:15:21,662
like, I don't know,
relatively minor thing,
246
00:15:21,663 --> 00:15:24,645
like, she was fine, but her husband went
247
00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:27,807
into cardiac arrest and
died when he was sitting
248
00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:31,716
in the waiting room, and he
never entered the OR once,
249
00:15:31,717 --> 00:15:35,397
and she said that she saw him
standing there the whole time.
250
00:15:35,398 --> 00:15:36,533
[Ivan] That's incredible.
251
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:37,961
I know.
252
00:15:37,962 --> 00:15:40,709
Well, what do you make of it all?
253
00:15:40,826 --> 00:15:42,241
I don't know...
254
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,567
coincidence?
255
00:15:45,135 --> 00:15:47,835
Yeah, I'm the worst, I just, I don't know,
256
00:15:47,836 --> 00:15:48,836
I feel like
257
00:15:50,774 --> 00:15:53,111
people dream funny dreams when
they're on anesthetic drugs,
258
00:15:53,113 --> 00:15:55,634
I mean, maybe if they suddenly
spoke a different language
259
00:15:55,635 --> 00:15:57,538
or knew the cure for
cancer, I'd be convinced
260
00:15:57,539 --> 00:16:00,142
that their soul just somehow
magically left their body.
261
00:16:00,143 --> 00:16:02,873
That's a pretty high
bar to set for evidence.
262
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:07,041
Yeah, but I feel like
we set the bar pretty low
263
00:16:07,312 --> 00:16:10,836
when we want something to be true.
264
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:11,823
Yeah, I'll give you that.
265
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:14,342
(Emily laughs)
266
00:16:14,344 --> 00:16:17,605
So that must be tough, your job?
267
00:16:17,606 --> 00:16:21,230
Just physically, I mean,
helping people is the best,
268
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:24,942
and if I ever actually, if
I ever actually save a life,
269
00:16:24,942 --> 00:16:27,543
I mean, that's why we do it, right?
270
00:16:27,544 --> 00:16:28,888
(dishes crash)
271
00:16:28,889 --> 00:16:30,302
(people holler)
272
00:16:30,302 --> 00:16:31,302
Oops.
273
00:16:36,748 --> 00:16:37,831
Are you okay?
274
00:16:38,787 --> 00:16:42,172
Yeah, sorry, I just get
anxious in public spaces,
275
00:16:42,173 --> 00:16:43,173
it's dumb.
276
00:16:44,759 --> 00:16:48,369
(tinnitus ringing)
277
00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:49,645
Sorry, sorry, I hate that.
278
00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:52,147
Hey, it's okay, you're okay.
279
00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:55,067
You know what?
280
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:59,235
We can just get out of here,
I will not give a shit, okay?
281
00:17:00,017 --> 00:17:01,279
Okay.
282
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,384
Hey, can we get the check, please?
283
00:17:04,384 --> 00:17:05,438
[Waitress] Yeah, sure, no problem.
284
00:17:05,439 --> 00:17:06,439
Thank you.
285
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:08,583
Seriously.
286
00:17:10,244 --> 00:17:11,327
It's just me.
287
00:17:12,287 --> 00:17:13,287
No one else.
288
00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:15,902
You're okay.
289
00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:18,595
Okay.
290
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,400
Here you are, no rush.
291
00:17:22,401 --> 00:17:24,960
[Emily] Perfect timing.
292
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,747
Wow, that actually helped a bit.
293
00:17:27,748 --> 00:17:29,021
What are you, a hypnotist?
294
00:17:29,022 --> 00:17:30,605
Yeah, definitely.
295
00:17:33,413 --> 00:17:36,080
Do you want to see my apartment?
296
00:17:37,317 --> 00:17:39,817
(door creaks)
297
00:17:43,152 --> 00:17:45,318
Wow, your place is nice.
298
00:17:49,572 --> 00:17:52,538
(lighter clicks)
299
00:17:52,538 --> 00:17:54,955
You're a nurse in a hospital.
300
00:17:57,096 --> 00:17:59,288
[Emily] Want some?
301
00:17:59,288 --> 00:18:01,459
Yeah, but I probably shouldn't.
302
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:04,465
That's not the guy I remember.
303
00:18:04,467 --> 00:18:07,240
I get too paranoid these days.
304
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,407
Plus, I don't know it'll
affect that research thing.
305
00:18:13,356 --> 00:18:17,211
It helps me sleep,
takes my mind off shit.
306
00:18:17,212 --> 00:18:20,321
(slow electronic music)
307
00:18:20,323 --> 00:18:22,730
Until the fear starts to take hold.
308
00:18:22,731 --> 00:18:24,355
(Emily laughs)
309
00:18:24,356 --> 00:18:26,734
(Ivan growls)
310
00:18:26,736 --> 00:18:27,969
(Emily laughs)
311
00:18:27,970 --> 00:18:29,595
I've come for your soul.
312
00:18:29,596 --> 00:18:30,519
[Emily] Oh, shit.
313
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,262
[Ivan] Come for your, oh, give it to me,
314
00:18:33,263 --> 00:18:34,096
give me your skin.
315
00:18:34,097 --> 00:18:36,763
(Emily mumbles)
316
00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,450
Sorry.
317
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,032
(Emily laughs)
318
00:18:43,001 --> 00:18:45,585
I have to tell you something,
319
00:18:47,719 --> 00:18:49,719
and it's really bad, and.
320
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:56,750
I feel awful, and you're
probably gonna hate me.
321
00:18:57,711 --> 00:18:59,961
[Ivan] Jesus, what is it?
322
00:19:04,222 --> 00:19:05,222
I.
323
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,025
Come on.
324
00:19:08,026 --> 00:19:09,192
I'm engaged.
325
00:19:10,651 --> 00:19:13,237
Like, engaged engaged.
326
00:19:13,238 --> 00:19:16,320
(slow ambient music)
327
00:19:18,628 --> 00:19:22,796
I know it wasn't fair for
me not to say anything, but.
328
00:19:23,979 --> 00:19:25,229
I just saw you,
329
00:19:26,705 --> 00:19:28,123
and I wanted you.
330
00:19:29,605 --> 00:19:31,778
I wanted you for a long time,
331
00:19:31,778 --> 00:19:34,862
and it just felt like my last chance.
332
00:19:38,076 --> 00:19:42,243
And I just thought that if you
knew, you wouldn't do this.
333
00:19:42,290 --> 00:19:45,848
(slow ambient music)
334
00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:48,548
I have no problem with it.
335
00:19:48,549 --> 00:19:50,157
Okay.
336
00:19:50,159 --> 00:19:53,910
I mean, you didn't
promise me anything, right?
337
00:19:53,911 --> 00:19:54,993
Yeah, okay.
338
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,384
Are you sure?
339
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:02,759
(slow ambient music)
340
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,760
Okay, God, it feels good
to get it off my chest.
341
00:20:08,192 --> 00:20:09,192
Who is he?
342
00:20:10,471 --> 00:20:13,388
Oh, do you remember John Gardner?
343
00:20:16,205 --> 00:20:17,205
What?
344
00:20:18,954 --> 00:20:19,788
What is it?
345
00:20:19,788 --> 00:20:21,699
I didn't say anything.
346
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,267
Fucking face, what?
347
00:20:23,268 --> 00:20:26,556
No, no, he's a good guy, we were, like,
348
00:20:26,557 --> 00:20:28,586
roommates for a year.
349
00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:31,733
Fuck (sighs).
350
00:20:31,734 --> 00:20:33,723
I'm so fucking stupid.
351
00:20:33,724 --> 00:20:34,557
[Ivan] Stop.
352
00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:36,942
No, I just hate myself
so much right now.
353
00:20:36,942 --> 00:20:40,123
Look, I felt like if you
were really happy with him,
354
00:20:40,124 --> 00:20:42,998
you wouldn't have fucked
me, let's be honest.
355
00:20:42,999 --> 00:20:43,839
Shut up.
356
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,898
It's, no, I just, I feel like
I'm on this conveyor belt,
357
00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:49,221
and the path is set, and I cannot stray,
358
00:20:49,221 --> 00:20:52,395
even for a second if I wanted to.
359
00:20:52,396 --> 00:20:55,609
(slow ambient music)
360
00:20:55,611 --> 00:20:58,058
I heard this saying that a
person who won't leave a room
361
00:20:58,059 --> 00:21:01,277
because they don't know how,
or because they're too afraid
362
00:21:01,278 --> 00:21:05,227
to open the door, they're
trapped, just the same,
363
00:21:05,228 --> 00:21:08,060
whether or not the door is locked.
364
00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:11,178
I heard a saying once that people
365
00:21:11,179 --> 00:21:13,795
who say sayings are fucking douche bags.
366
00:21:13,796 --> 00:21:15,826
(both laugh)
367
00:21:15,826 --> 00:21:17,480
Yeah, yeah, I set
myself up for that one.
368
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,059
Oh, I'm sorry, you
know I'm joking, right?
369
00:21:19,060 --> 00:21:21,464
Yeah, no, I just won't
ever give you advice again.
370
00:21:21,465 --> 00:21:23,192
(both laugh)
371
00:21:23,192 --> 00:21:24,776
Oh, I don't know.
372
00:21:25,699 --> 00:21:29,574
John is fine, most of the time,
373
00:21:31,448 --> 00:21:33,115
but he drinks a lot,
374
00:21:33,951 --> 00:21:38,291
and he has cheated on me more than once.
375
00:21:40,563 --> 00:21:41,563
Well.
376
00:21:42,914 --> 00:21:44,833
Now I like him less.
377
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:48,079
(slow ambient music)
378
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,901
He's not gonna barge in here, is he?
379
00:21:49,902 --> 00:21:54,068
No, he's in Germany, or on
his way back from Germany.
380
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:56,615
Why Germany?
381
00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,009
'Cause he's in the army.
382
00:22:00,009 --> 00:22:00,944
Fuck.
383
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:01,999
Yeah.
384
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,651
Fuck.
385
00:22:03,652 --> 00:22:06,152
Oh, shit, what did we just do?
386
00:22:07,228 --> 00:22:08,357
I know.
387
00:22:08,358 --> 00:22:12,182
(slow ambient music)
388
00:22:12,182 --> 00:22:13,806
You know what?
389
00:22:13,807 --> 00:22:17,973
No, I feel like every chance
he's had to fuck around,
390
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:22,042
he has, and every time I stood by him,
391
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:24,969
so he can either
392
00:22:26,271 --> 00:22:27,439
forgive me, or
393
00:22:29,167 --> 00:22:30,817
leave.
394
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:34,151
I'd prefer if he never
found out about this.
395
00:22:34,152 --> 00:22:35,440
Yeah.
396
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:38,523
(slow ambient music)
397
00:22:40,268 --> 00:22:44,434
No matter what happens, I'm
really glad that we did this.
398
00:22:44,593 --> 00:22:47,242
(slow ambient music)
399
00:22:47,243 --> 00:22:48,144
Same.
400
00:22:48,144 --> 00:22:50,770
(slow ambient music)
401
00:22:50,771 --> 00:22:53,271
(birds chirp)
402
00:22:59,679 --> 00:23:02,761
(slow ambient music)
403
00:23:03,689 --> 00:23:06,189
(pen scrawls)
404
00:23:10,051 --> 00:23:13,134
(ambient whispering)
405
00:23:17,442 --> 00:23:19,090
Don't do that.
406
00:23:19,092 --> 00:23:22,174
(slow ambient music)
407
00:23:30,218 --> 00:23:32,718
(birds chirp)
408
00:23:34,808 --> 00:23:37,558
(lighter clicks)
409
00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:44,290
(slow ambient music)
410
00:23:46,807 --> 00:23:49,449
(Ivan sighs)
411
00:23:49,450 --> 00:23:52,532
(slow ambient music)
412
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:09,571
(slow rhythmic pulses)
413
00:24:24,843 --> 00:24:27,593
(phone vibrates)
414
00:24:38,900 --> 00:24:39,826
Hey.
415
00:24:39,826 --> 00:24:40,992
[Emily] Hey.
416
00:24:42,919 --> 00:24:44,169
How's it going?
417
00:24:45,904 --> 00:24:47,269
Good, great.
418
00:24:47,269 --> 00:24:50,080
[Emily] It was nice
seeing you the other day.
419
00:24:50,082 --> 00:24:51,914
Yeah, yeah, you too.
420
00:24:53,374 --> 00:24:57,457
[Emily] Hey, listen,
John wants to talk to you.
421
00:24:59,653 --> 00:25:00,653
Yeah?
422
00:25:04,281 --> 00:25:06,269
[John] Hey, brother, long time no see.
423
00:25:06,269 --> 00:25:09,675
Hey, yeah, yeah, it's been awhile.
424
00:25:09,676 --> 00:25:10,943
[John] How's everything?
425
00:25:10,944 --> 00:25:13,161
Emily told me she ran into you.
426
00:25:13,162 --> 00:25:16,496
Yeah, yeah, that, that happened.
427
00:25:16,497 --> 00:25:20,359
(slow orchestral music)
428
00:25:20,361 --> 00:25:22,641
So you two are getting hitched, huh?
429
00:25:22,642 --> 00:25:26,143
[John] Yeah, bet you never
thought you'd see the day.
430
00:25:26,144 --> 00:25:29,305
Just got back and got
tons of planning to do,
431
00:25:29,306 --> 00:25:32,398
I think today we're doing
the cake tasting thing,
432
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,945
I don't know, but it's not all bad.
433
00:25:34,947 --> 00:25:38,501
Yeah, who doesn't like cake, so.
434
00:25:38,502 --> 00:25:41,319
Emily told me you were in the army,
435
00:25:41,320 --> 00:25:43,557
and I was like, how did
I not hear about this?
436
00:25:43,558 --> 00:25:47,726
[John] Yeah, man, we
haven't spoken in forever.
437
00:25:47,788 --> 00:25:49,646
Long enough for me to go to hell and back.
438
00:25:49,647 --> 00:25:50,480
When did you get back?
439
00:25:50,481 --> 00:25:54,647
[John] Hey, man, you wanna
come over for a drink tomorrow?
440
00:25:57,465 --> 00:25:59,883
I'd love to swap war stories.
441
00:26:01,798 --> 00:26:04,298
Uh, yeah, that should work for me.
442
00:26:04,299 --> 00:26:05,467
[John] Yeah?
443
00:26:07,391 --> 00:26:09,973
Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.
444
00:26:11,089 --> 00:26:12,744
[John] We can text you the address.
445
00:26:12,746 --> 00:26:15,573
Awesome, alright, I'll see
you then, peace, brother.
446
00:26:15,574 --> 00:26:17,238
Yeah.
447
00:26:17,239 --> 00:26:20,321
(slow ambient music)
448
00:26:37,734 --> 00:26:40,484
(phone vibrates)
449
00:26:57,298 --> 00:26:58,445
(door creaks)
450
00:26:58,703 --> 00:26:59,537
Hey.
451
00:26:59,546 --> 00:27:00,378
[Ivan] Hey.
452
00:27:00,378 --> 00:27:01,378
What's up, dude?
453
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:03,328
Get ready, I'm bringing it in close.
454
00:27:03,329 --> 00:27:04,163
[Ivan] Hey, John.
455
00:27:04,163 --> 00:27:05,934
Hey, how's it going?
456
00:27:05,935 --> 00:27:06,769
[Ivan] Good, good.
457
00:27:06,769 --> 00:27:07,602
Good seeing you man.
458
00:27:07,602 --> 00:27:08,434
[Ivan] You too.
459
00:27:08,435 --> 00:27:09,571
Come on in, let's do this.
460
00:27:09,573 --> 00:27:12,567
(door creaks)
461
00:27:12,567 --> 00:27:13,401
You ate, right?
462
00:27:13,402 --> 00:27:15,397
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
463
00:27:15,398 --> 00:27:19,566
[Emily] Good, 'cause this is all we got.
464
00:27:19,624 --> 00:27:21,678
I'm gonna make such a mess (laughs).
465
00:27:21,679 --> 00:27:22,743
What's new with you?
466
00:27:22,744 --> 00:27:24,759
Em says you're back in school.
467
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,703
I told you, he's
literally soul searching.
468
00:27:28,704 --> 00:27:31,328
Yeah, yeah, neuroscience, close enough.
469
00:27:31,329 --> 00:27:34,061
Yeah, she said you were a
lab rat, what's that about?
470
00:27:34,063 --> 00:27:35,063
Um, yeah.
471
00:27:36,903 --> 00:27:38,433
I'll just start from the beginning,
472
00:27:38,434 --> 00:27:42,502
a few years back, I saw this
talk at the university given
473
00:27:42,503 --> 00:27:44,545
by this wizard looking dude...
474
00:27:44,546 --> 00:27:46,072
Like a Gandalf wizard?
475
00:27:46,073 --> 00:27:49,502
Exactly, total Gandalf, so the talk was
476
00:27:49,503 --> 00:27:52,579
about consciousness and the idea
477
00:27:52,580 --> 00:27:55,980
that reality is all an illusion,
478
00:27:55,981 --> 00:27:59,150
and underneath it all is
this consciousness system
479
00:27:59,151 --> 00:28:00,688
that we're all a part of.
480
00:28:00,689 --> 00:28:04,733
And according to him,
with enough practice,
481
00:28:04,734 --> 00:28:08,902
we can all access this system
through advanced meditation,
482
00:28:09,747 --> 00:28:12,871
so when you hear about
out of body experiences
483
00:28:12,872 --> 00:28:15,934
or astral projection,
it's actually these people
484
00:28:15,935 --> 00:28:18,303
just breaking the
boundaries of the illusion.
485
00:28:18,304 --> 00:28:19,686
So it's bullshit.
486
00:28:19,688 --> 00:28:20,948
Maybe.
487
00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:24,012
Or maybe it's hard to
imagine the world is round
488
00:28:24,013 --> 00:28:27,454
if you always thought it was flat.
489
00:28:27,455 --> 00:28:28,455
Fair.
490
00:28:29,587 --> 00:28:33,755
So, yeah, now I'm
Gandalf's research buddy.
491
00:28:33,941 --> 00:28:35,425
I'm so curious to see what you find out,
492
00:28:35,426 --> 00:28:37,438
I mean, this is not my area at all,
493
00:28:37,439 --> 00:28:41,221
but based on my ridiculously
limited background
494
00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:43,753
in medical research, I'm qualified enough
495
00:28:43,755 --> 00:28:45,140
to say that we know almost nothing
496
00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:45,973
about how the brain works.
497
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:48,829
No, right, exactly,
and this is weird, too,
498
00:28:48,830 --> 00:28:50,636
there's some evidence that observation
499
00:28:50,637 --> 00:28:54,205
alone can affect things
outside of our mind.
500
00:28:54,207 --> 00:28:55,760
You've heard of the double
slit experiment, right?
501
00:28:55,761 --> 00:28:56,761
I have.
502
00:28:57,651 --> 00:28:59,498
No, I haven't.
503
00:28:59,499 --> 00:29:01,249
[Emily] Ignore him.
504
00:29:02,376 --> 00:29:03,343
Please, educate.
505
00:29:03,344 --> 00:29:05,737
Okay, the double slit experiment is one
506
00:29:05,738 --> 00:29:08,898
of the most replicated
experiments in physics
507
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:11,713
because it is so fucking weird.
508
00:29:11,714 --> 00:29:15,720
So you have these two slits,
and behind that is a censor,
509
00:29:15,721 --> 00:29:19,258
like a wall, and if you blast
light through the slits,
510
00:29:19,259 --> 00:29:22,058
a wave pattern is created on the sensor,
511
00:29:22,059 --> 00:29:22,968
which makes sense, right,
512
00:29:22,969 --> 00:29:25,968
because light is like a wave, right?
513
00:29:26,988 --> 00:29:28,792
Okay, so later they figure out how
514
00:29:28,794 --> 00:29:31,544
to fire photons, light particles,
515
00:29:32,420 --> 00:29:34,251
one at a time through the slits,
516
00:29:34,252 --> 00:29:37,170
and they still make a wave pattern.
517
00:29:38,019 --> 00:29:39,009
Okay.
518
00:29:39,010 --> 00:29:42,593
Okay, okay, so blast
light, wave pattern,
519
00:29:44,119 --> 00:29:48,287
blast individual photon
particles, still a wave pattern.
520
00:29:49,766 --> 00:29:51,052
It's weird because you'd think
521
00:29:51,054 --> 00:29:55,221
that individual particles
would arrive kind of randomly,
522
00:29:55,309 --> 00:29:58,585
it wouldn't be able to create
the wave pattern one particle
523
00:29:58,586 --> 00:30:01,808
at a time, right, it
just doesn't make sense.
524
00:30:01,809 --> 00:30:04,816
None of this shit makes any sense.
525
00:30:04,817 --> 00:30:05,650
Shut up.
526
00:30:05,651 --> 00:30:09,817
Okay, here's where it
actually gets interesting.
527
00:30:09,917 --> 00:30:11,612
To find out how individual particles
528
00:30:11,613 --> 00:30:15,140
could make wave patterns, they
set up these little detectors
529
00:30:15,141 --> 00:30:17,634
to see the particles
pass through the slits,
530
00:30:17,634 --> 00:30:21,801
and the particles totally
changed their behavior.
531
00:30:21,957 --> 00:30:23,891
The pattern on the sensor just looked
532
00:30:23,892 --> 00:30:26,201
like the particles shot
straight through the slits
533
00:30:26,202 --> 00:30:29,826
in a perfectly straight
line, no more wave pattern.
534
00:30:29,827 --> 00:30:31,409
They thought maybe the placement
535
00:30:31,410 --> 00:30:33,900
of the detectors interfered
with the particles somehow,
536
00:30:33,901 --> 00:30:38,067
so they turned them off,
but kept them in place,
537
00:30:38,298 --> 00:30:42,105
and the particles made
a wave pattern again.
538
00:30:42,106 --> 00:30:44,916
Detectors on, double slit pattern,
539
00:30:44,917 --> 00:30:47,250
detectors off, wave pattern.
540
00:30:49,326 --> 00:30:53,146
So the behavior of the particles depended
541
00:30:53,147 --> 00:30:57,315
on whether or not they were
actually being observed.
542
00:30:58,128 --> 00:30:59,128
Spooky.
543
00:31:00,348 --> 00:31:01,182
Wha?
544
00:31:01,182 --> 00:31:03,048
(Emily laughs)
545
00:31:03,049 --> 00:31:05,221
I swear, every time I see
you I learn something new
546
00:31:05,221 --> 00:31:06,554
and awesome.
547
00:31:06,555 --> 00:31:10,027
So John, you're a military man now, huh?
548
00:31:10,028 --> 00:31:12,868
How the hell did that happen?
549
00:31:12,869 --> 00:31:13,869
Yeah.
550
00:31:15,392 --> 00:31:18,748
Sorry, yeah, it never used to
be this hard to talk about.
551
00:31:18,749 --> 00:31:20,415
You don't have to.
552
00:31:21,781 --> 00:31:23,281
I will say this.
553
00:31:26,093 --> 00:31:28,971
Being over there really shows
you what we take for granted,
554
00:31:28,971 --> 00:31:30,949
and I feel a lot of guilt about that.
555
00:31:30,950 --> 00:31:32,292
I get that.
556
00:31:32,294 --> 00:31:34,141
Seems like our days of
being spoiled are numbered,
557
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:37,710
though, things aren't
what they used to be.
558
00:31:37,711 --> 00:31:40,988
I mean, there's a lot more
shared poverty nowadays.
559
00:31:40,989 --> 00:31:43,755
Our system feeds on
poverty, it needs it.
560
00:31:43,756 --> 00:31:47,048
Yeah, but on the other
hand, I mean, this wine.
561
00:31:47,048 --> 00:31:50,061
There's a heater in
here and a refrigerator.
562
00:31:50,063 --> 00:31:52,442
And you got that beast of
an internet porn collection,
563
00:31:52,442 --> 00:31:53,633
so there's always that.
564
00:31:53,634 --> 00:31:54,557
Yes.
565
00:31:54,558 --> 00:31:56,642
Seriously, it's like a fucking terabyte.
566
00:31:56,643 --> 00:31:57,476
On that hard drive.
567
00:31:57,477 --> 00:31:58,691
I'm just saying, ugh.
568
00:31:58,692 --> 00:32:00,439
Why don't you just stream
it like a normal person?
569
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,381
What, I am storing
up for the apocalypse.
570
00:32:03,382 --> 00:32:06,548
Got my vintage VHS '90s porn classics.
571
00:32:08,001 --> 00:32:08,954
What, like Barbara's Bush?
572
00:32:08,955 --> 00:32:10,550
(overlapping chatter)
573
00:32:10,551 --> 00:32:12,384
And Ghost Thrusters.
574
00:32:13,411 --> 00:32:14,243
Cliff Banger.
575
00:32:14,244 --> 00:32:17,463
(group laughs)
576
00:32:17,464 --> 00:32:18,638
Forrest Hump.
577
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:22,046
(group laughs)
578
00:32:22,047 --> 00:32:23,463
That's good shit.
579
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:29,167
Ivan, in a couple weeks I'm
taking this hiking trip,
580
00:32:30,461 --> 00:32:34,628
kind of a last hurrah
before Em and I are trapped
581
00:32:34,797 --> 00:32:38,032
in a boring marriage for
the rest of our lives.
582
00:32:38,034 --> 00:32:40,450
John wants to go on a vision quest.
583
00:32:40,451 --> 00:32:44,233
I just want to set
up a tent on the beach
584
00:32:44,234 --> 00:32:46,234
and just feel the quiet.
585
00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:50,028
I keep telling him that
even after we're married,
586
00:32:50,028 --> 00:32:52,827
he can still go off on a lonely pilgrimage
587
00:32:52,828 --> 00:32:55,699
to the middle of the
woods, but he doesn't get
588
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:58,596
that I'm not a fucking prison guard, so.
589
00:32:58,596 --> 00:33:00,930
It's not the same, I just,
590
00:33:02,084 --> 00:33:06,250
I could use a spiritual
guide on my vision quest.
591
00:33:06,728 --> 00:33:08,032
Oh, wow, man, uh.
592
00:33:08,034 --> 00:33:09,601
Oh, sorry, I didn't
mean to freak you out,
593
00:33:09,602 --> 00:33:11,682
I know it's, we haven seen
each other in forever,
594
00:33:11,682 --> 00:33:15,298
and, I don't know, I'm
digging the vibe here tonight.
595
00:33:15,299 --> 00:33:16,867
Um,
596
00:33:16,868 --> 00:33:17,826
yeah.
597
00:33:17,826 --> 00:33:19,391
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
598
00:33:19,392 --> 00:33:20,224
Seriously?
599
00:33:20,224 --> 00:33:21,057
[Ivan] Yeah, yeah.
600
00:33:21,057 --> 00:33:21,891
I mean, it's short notice,
601
00:33:21,892 --> 00:33:23,109
Gandalf's not gonna be pissed, is he?
602
00:33:23,111 --> 00:33:24,430
No, that's, no, it's fine,
603
00:33:24,431 --> 00:33:26,263
I think that'll actually
be a good place for me
604
00:33:26,265 --> 00:33:29,916
to just unplug and practice
all this voodoo shit.
605
00:33:29,917 --> 00:33:32,593
Yes, awesome, this is great.
606
00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:35,083
Look, I'll tell you all
about it after I pee,
607
00:33:35,084 --> 00:33:36,903
I'll be right back.
608
00:33:36,904 --> 00:33:40,404
(dissonant ambient music)
609
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,417
(wind blows)
610
00:33:50,109 --> 00:33:53,677
(train clatters)
611
00:33:53,679 --> 00:33:56,761
(slow ambient music)
612
00:33:59,088 --> 00:34:02,317
(traffic roars)
613
00:34:02,318 --> 00:34:05,402
(slow ambient music)
614
00:34:19,373 --> 00:34:22,364
(pen scrawls)
615
00:34:22,365 --> 00:34:25,449
(slow ambient music)
616
00:34:47,525 --> 00:34:51,431
(slow rhythmic pulses)
617
00:34:51,431 --> 00:34:54,514
(slow ambient music)
618
00:35:12,179 --> 00:35:16,346
(moves into slow orchestral music)
619
00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:35,581
(slow ambient music)
620
00:35:49,088 --> 00:35:51,922
(spider skitters)
621
00:35:54,675 --> 00:35:58,697
(dissonant orchestral music)
622
00:35:58,699 --> 00:36:01,771
(spider skitters)
623
00:36:01,773 --> 00:36:05,586
(dissonant orchestral music)
624
00:36:05,588 --> 00:36:08,601
(spider skitters)
625
00:36:08,601 --> 00:36:12,351
(dissonant orchestral music)
626
00:36:21,315 --> 00:36:23,815
(birds chirp)
627
00:36:33,237 --> 00:36:35,820
(pages rustle)
628
00:36:38,389 --> 00:36:40,889
(pen scrawls)
629
00:36:42,784 --> 00:36:45,284
(birds chirp)
630
00:36:57,146 --> 00:36:58,896
[Television] Rain around
the Chicago area today
631
00:36:58,896 --> 00:37:00,237
temperatures are holding at...
632
00:37:00,237 --> 00:37:01,315
[Ivan] Hey, Mom.
633
00:37:01,317 --> 00:37:04,195
Hey, where have you been hiding?
634
00:37:04,195 --> 00:37:05,811
I haven't seen you for awhile.
635
00:37:05,811 --> 00:37:07,108
[Ivan] Yeah, there was no hiding,
636
00:37:07,108 --> 00:37:09,829
I was just at a friend's
place, having a drink.
637
00:37:09,829 --> 00:37:12,682
You have an appointment
this morning, right?
638
00:37:12,684 --> 00:37:14,351
[Ivan] Yeah, I do.
639
00:37:15,847 --> 00:37:19,440
Are you still not taking your pills?
640
00:37:19,442 --> 00:37:22,244
(door slams)
641
00:37:22,244 --> 00:37:25,139
I can't, I can't handle that stuff.
642
00:37:25,141 --> 00:37:26,668
I know you don't want to hear this,
643
00:37:26,670 --> 00:37:29,510
but I think that's a bad
idea, your doctor said
644
00:37:29,510 --> 00:37:31,686
that the side effects might
improve it if you just...
645
00:37:31,688 --> 00:37:33,393
No, Mom, I don't know how
many ways I can tell you
646
00:37:33,393 --> 00:37:36,682
that that stuff makes
me want to kill myself.
647
00:37:36,684 --> 00:37:38,614
Look, I'm honestly
saying I'd rather be dead
648
00:37:38,615 --> 00:37:41,416
than spend the rest of
my life on that shit.
649
00:37:41,416 --> 00:37:45,152
I'd rather be crazy, for that matter.
650
00:37:45,153 --> 00:37:48,960
Look, it's not an easy situation, okay?
651
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,128
But that's just how it is.
652
00:37:53,690 --> 00:37:56,688
I just don't want to lose my son,
653
00:37:56,688 --> 00:37:58,704
does that make me a crazy person?
654
00:37:58,704 --> 00:38:02,664
I know you don't, Mom,
but you want your son
655
00:38:02,666 --> 00:38:04,666
to like his life, right?
656
00:38:08,922 --> 00:38:09,922
Come here.
657
00:38:13,407 --> 00:38:14,407
I do.
658
00:38:15,833 --> 00:38:18,001
I do want you to be happy.
659
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:20,840
Thank you.
660
00:38:22,420 --> 00:38:25,204
(door creaks)
661
00:38:25,204 --> 00:38:28,288
(slow ambient music)
662
00:38:31,608 --> 00:38:32,690
Are you okay?
663
00:38:35,561 --> 00:38:37,641
Seriously, are you okay?
664
00:38:37,641 --> 00:38:40,724
(slow ambient music)
665
00:38:42,961 --> 00:38:45,757
I'm gonna break it off with him.
666
00:38:45,759 --> 00:38:46,697
I think.
667
00:38:46,699 --> 00:38:49,605
(slow ambient music)
668
00:38:49,606 --> 00:38:51,248
[Ivan] What happened?
669
00:38:51,248 --> 00:38:52,313
You know what happened.
670
00:38:52,313 --> 00:38:54,731
(door shuts)
671
00:38:57,621 --> 00:38:59,204
What are you doing?
672
00:39:00,411 --> 00:39:02,034
You, you invited me over.
673
00:39:02,036 --> 00:39:06,202
No, you idiot, why
are you going with him?
674
00:39:06,463 --> 00:39:09,530
Look, I know it's weird,
I know how it looks,
675
00:39:09,532 --> 00:39:11,039
it's fucking weird.
676
00:39:11,039 --> 00:39:12,206
Yeah, it is.
677
00:39:15,313 --> 00:39:17,231
I have some problems.
678
00:39:18,896 --> 00:39:19,914
Some health problems,
679
00:39:19,914 --> 00:39:23,610
and I think it's a
really good idea if I go.
680
00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:24,844
What's wrong?
681
00:39:24,844 --> 00:39:26,523
You're sick?
682
00:39:26,523 --> 00:39:28,023
It's just, it's,
683
00:39:29,547 --> 00:39:31,769
it's just kind of hard to talk about, so.
684
00:39:31,771 --> 00:39:33,271
I, sometimes it's,
685
00:39:36,731 --> 00:39:38,027
can you do me a favor, could we wait
686
00:39:38,028 --> 00:39:40,945
to talk about this when I get back?
687
00:39:41,909 --> 00:39:44,081
I know it's a lot and it's kind
688
00:39:44,081 --> 00:39:46,664
of fucked up for me to do, but.
689
00:39:48,809 --> 00:39:51,708
But I hope you believe me, Emily,
690
00:39:51,708 --> 00:39:55,643
when I say I like you a lot, 'cause I do,
691
00:39:55,643 --> 00:39:59,634
and this trip isn't gonna change that,
692
00:39:59,635 --> 00:40:03,802
and I hope someday you can
understand why I'm going
693
00:40:05,137 --> 00:40:08,639
and maybe forgive me for
fucking you up in the process.
694
00:40:08,641 --> 00:40:11,974
(slow electronic music)
695
00:40:12,896 --> 00:40:15,396
So is this thing contagious?
696
00:40:16,684 --> 00:40:18,018
No.
697
00:40:18,019 --> 00:40:21,353
(slow electronic music)
698
00:40:26,016 --> 00:40:28,932
(jet engines roar)
699
00:40:34,559 --> 00:40:38,309
(dissonant orchestral music)
700
00:41:02,364 --> 00:41:04,885
[John] Oh, one bed, well,
701
00:41:04,885 --> 00:41:08,077
at least it's big enough for both of us.
702
00:41:08,077 --> 00:41:09,318
[Ivan] I'll take the floor.
703
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:13,487
Why, I need to cuddle
and be warm with my baby.
704
00:41:14,014 --> 00:41:15,474
- No, that's fine.
- Gonna snuggle.
705
00:41:15,476 --> 00:41:16,681
John, John, it's fine, it's fine.
706
00:41:16,682 --> 00:41:18,449
Alright, no, I got the floor, I insist.
707
00:41:18,449 --> 00:41:20,954
No, no, no, no, you
brought me out here, so.
708
00:41:20,954 --> 00:41:22,621
Alright, whatever.
709
00:41:24,271 --> 00:41:27,800
This is great, man, thanks
for coming out with me.
710
00:41:27,802 --> 00:41:29,302
Yeah, of course.
711
00:41:30,152 --> 00:41:31,485
You tired yet?
712
00:41:32,559 --> 00:41:33,643
Not really.
713
00:41:50,972 --> 00:41:54,666
Look, I don't know where
you got this idea from,
714
00:41:54,668 --> 00:41:57,335
no, she's just, she found me, I,
715
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,188
I would never do that, Emily, no.
716
00:42:02,188 --> 00:42:03,364
No, I didn't fuck her.
717
00:42:03,365 --> 00:42:04,447
Ivan.
718
00:42:04,449 --> 00:42:05,282
[Ivan] No.
719
00:42:05,282 --> 00:42:06,208
Ivan.
720
00:42:06,210 --> 00:42:08,000
[Ivan] Look, I agree, you're a good guy.
721
00:42:08,001 --> 00:42:08,833
Ivan.
722
00:42:08,835 --> 00:42:09,864
Yeah, yes?
723
00:42:09,864 --> 00:42:13,434
[John] You're talking in your sleep.
724
00:42:13,436 --> 00:42:14,436
Really?
725
00:42:15,666 --> 00:42:19,833
Yeah, you just said you
didn't fuck my fiance.
726
00:42:20,172 --> 00:42:21,965
I must have, um.
727
00:42:21,965 --> 00:42:26,132
You dreaming I was
interrogating your or something?
728
00:42:26,532 --> 00:42:28,614
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
729
00:42:30,574 --> 00:42:32,452
That really didn't just happen?
730
00:42:32,452 --> 00:42:36,619
No, I've been asleep for
like, an hour and a half.
731
00:42:37,572 --> 00:42:40,668
Look, I'm sorry, I'm out of it,
732
00:42:40,670 --> 00:42:43,764
I haven't drank that much in awhile.
733
00:42:43,764 --> 00:42:45,514
It's all good, man.
734
00:42:52,108 --> 00:42:53,108
Dumbass.
735
00:42:56,364 --> 00:42:58,476
You've been to this spot before?
736
00:42:58,478 --> 00:43:01,791
Not this exact spot, but
I've heard good things.
737
00:43:01,793 --> 00:43:03,768
Private beach?
738
00:43:03,769 --> 00:43:06,496
Not exactly, it's pretty far in,
739
00:43:06,496 --> 00:43:08,820
most people don't hike all the way in.
740
00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:09,820
Awesome.
741
00:43:11,945 --> 00:43:13,778
Thank you very much.
742
00:43:19,141 --> 00:43:20,552
What?
743
00:43:20,552 --> 00:43:21,664
What the fuck was that?
744
00:43:21,664 --> 00:43:22,498
[John] What?
745
00:43:22,498 --> 00:43:24,721
That shit eating grin.
746
00:43:24,722 --> 00:43:26,088
Politeness?
747
00:43:26,088 --> 00:43:27,088
Right.
748
00:43:28,030 --> 00:43:32,197
Plus I'm not married yet (chuckles).
749
00:43:32,402 --> 00:43:33,744
What, Jiminy Cricket, what?
750
00:43:33,744 --> 00:43:35,565
It's just douchey,
man, we used to make fun
751
00:43:35,565 --> 00:43:39,076
of assholes that did shit like that.
752
00:43:39,077 --> 00:43:42,300
How long have you had a thing for Emily?
753
00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:44,034
Just curious, no big deal.
754
00:43:44,036 --> 00:43:45,043
That's not what this is.
755
00:43:45,043 --> 00:43:48,054
Right, you're talking in your sleep,
756
00:43:48,054 --> 00:43:50,619
this weird protection of her,
757
00:43:50,619 --> 00:43:53,094
I get it, it's way fucking obvious.
758
00:43:53,094 --> 00:43:55,809
Look, I don't want
there to be any bad blood,
759
00:43:55,809 --> 00:43:58,594
there's nothing going on.
760
00:43:58,594 --> 00:43:59,594
Okay.
761
00:44:04,407 --> 00:44:06,342
Here, show me on this thing
again where we're going?
762
00:44:06,342 --> 00:44:07,342
Alright.
763
00:44:09,139 --> 00:44:11,650
So we're gonna, here we are,
764
00:44:11,650 --> 00:44:15,697
follow this ridge down to this area here,
765
00:44:15,697 --> 00:44:18,440
it's pretty steep, we won't
exactly have to rappel
766
00:44:18,442 --> 00:44:20,751
or anything, but it'll be hairy,
767
00:44:20,753 --> 00:44:24,362
then we'll cut over here
about two and a half hours,
768
00:44:24,362 --> 00:44:26,239
and then we'll be at
our home away from home
769
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:27,751
for the next two weeks.
770
00:44:27,753 --> 00:44:29,289
Anything out there that can kill us?
771
00:44:29,291 --> 00:44:32,018
Yeah, being stupid, falling off a cliff.
772
00:44:32,019 --> 00:44:34,304
What about, like, snakes, or?
773
00:44:34,304 --> 00:44:37,257
It's bear country, mountain lions,
774
00:44:37,257 --> 00:44:38,447
but if you're loud enough on the trail,
775
00:44:38,449 --> 00:44:39,949
they'll stay away.
776
00:44:41,876 --> 00:44:44,271
The land, though, is
owned by the government,
777
00:44:44,273 --> 00:44:47,106
so if anyone asks, just play dumb.
778
00:44:50,516 --> 00:44:51,773
That would have been a lot easier
779
00:44:51,775 --> 00:44:54,461
to do before you said anything.
780
00:44:54,463 --> 00:44:55,791
Sorry.
781
00:44:55,791 --> 00:44:58,331
(Ivan chuckles)
782
00:44:58,333 --> 00:45:02,250
(avant-garde orchestral music)
783
00:45:30,099 --> 00:45:32,186
So if we keep heading west,
784
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:35,021
we should be in pretty good shape.
785
00:45:36,028 --> 00:45:40,195
Worse comes to worse, my
cellphone's mostly charged.
786
00:45:40,510 --> 00:45:42,072
(Ivan laughs)
787
00:45:42,072 --> 00:45:45,989
(avant-garde orchestral music)
788
00:46:02,349 --> 00:46:05,849
(water trickles)
789
00:46:05,849 --> 00:46:09,766
(avant-garde orchestral music)
790
00:47:01,588 --> 00:47:04,215
(waves crash)
791
00:47:04,217 --> 00:47:06,884
(sand crunches)
792
00:47:16,858 --> 00:47:19,079
What do you think?
793
00:47:19,079 --> 00:47:21,579
(waves crash)
794
00:47:26,509 --> 00:47:27,509
Awesome.
795
00:47:30,070 --> 00:47:33,987
(avant-garde orchestral music)
796
00:48:04,201 --> 00:48:06,440
I'm gonna pass out.
797
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:10,608
(avant-garde orchestral music)
798
00:48:10,782 --> 00:48:13,902
[Ivan] I need a little more this way.
799
00:48:13,903 --> 00:48:17,820
(avant-garde orchestral music)
800
00:48:26,025 --> 00:48:28,152
[John] Can't believe how many stars.
801
00:48:28,153 --> 00:48:30,820
(fire crackles)
802
00:48:31,905 --> 00:48:36,072
And this is why the city sucks (laughs).
803
00:48:36,512 --> 00:48:39,846
Yeah, wish I knew more constellations.
804
00:48:41,594 --> 00:48:44,344
(lighter clicks)
805
00:48:45,219 --> 00:48:47,552
You're an aliens guy, right?
806
00:48:48,929 --> 00:48:51,650
I feel like I remember that.
807
00:48:51,650 --> 00:48:55,793
We're not alone in the
universe, according to Ivan.
808
00:48:55,795 --> 00:48:56,795
No.
809
00:48:57,643 --> 00:49:00,860
No, I'd say we're the only planet
810
00:49:00,860 --> 00:49:02,427
in the whole universe comprised
811
00:49:02,429 --> 00:49:05,802
of over a billion galaxies
that has life on it,
812
00:49:05,804 --> 00:49:09,036
I mean, that's obvious, right?
813
00:49:09,036 --> 00:49:11,344
Forget the fact that we've discovered
814
00:49:11,344 --> 00:49:13,817
over 2,000 exoplanets,
815
00:49:13,818 --> 00:49:16,900
30 of which are in the habitable zone
816
00:49:18,827 --> 00:49:20,351
that we know of, so.
817
00:49:20,351 --> 00:49:21,894
Sorry I asked.
818
00:49:21,896 --> 00:49:26,063
I mean, it's ridiculous
to think that we're alone.
819
00:49:28,250 --> 00:49:30,028
I don't know, I agree with that,
820
00:49:30,030 --> 00:49:34,197
I guess, but I just, I don't
know, what about the farmers,
821
00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:38,387
talking about their
cows getting probed, or.
822
00:49:38,387 --> 00:49:40,181
[Ivan] Jesus.
823
00:49:40,182 --> 00:49:42,432
Spacecraft crashing, and.
824
00:49:44,215 --> 00:49:47,248
Do you think we've got
ET locked up somewhere?
825
00:49:47,250 --> 00:49:50,000
Maybe, maybe life as we know it
826
00:49:51,688 --> 00:49:54,585
travels through the universe on a comet,
827
00:49:54,585 --> 00:49:56,835
or meteor, or spacecraft.
828
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:00,166
[John] Huh.
829
00:50:01,146 --> 00:50:04,063
Maybe life has always been around
830
00:50:05,208 --> 00:50:07,125
in one form or another.
831
00:50:08,449 --> 00:50:10,782
The important question is,
832
00:50:12,809 --> 00:50:16,016
has anybody ever fucked an alien?
833
00:50:16,016 --> 00:50:18,684
(fire crackles)
834
00:50:19,965 --> 00:50:21,951
God, I hope so.
835
00:50:21,952 --> 00:50:24,947
(both laugh)
836
00:50:24,949 --> 00:50:25,949
Me too.
837
00:50:26,894 --> 00:50:31,061
I bet they've got way more holes (laughs).
838
00:50:32,536 --> 00:50:33,976
Like a flute.
839
00:50:33,976 --> 00:50:35,731
(both laugh)
840
00:50:35,731 --> 00:50:38,990
Wait, (mumbles), under a flute,
841
00:50:38,992 --> 00:50:42,876
they're all, those are all holes.
842
00:50:42,878 --> 00:50:44,516
[John] It plays music.
843
00:50:44,516 --> 00:50:45,349
(John sings)
844
00:50:45,351 --> 00:50:47,344
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, that's exactly it.
845
00:50:47,346 --> 00:50:48,690
[John] We're both thinking it.
846
00:50:48,690 --> 00:50:51,976
[Ivan] That's exactly
what I was thinking.
847
00:50:51,976 --> 00:50:53,920
[John] Oh, God.
848
00:50:53,922 --> 00:50:55,617
(Ivan sings)
849
00:50:55,619 --> 00:50:57,085
No, not, not right there.
850
00:50:57,086 --> 00:50:58,784
(Ivan sings)
851
00:50:58,786 --> 00:50:59,619
Yeah, you hit it.
852
00:50:59,619 --> 00:51:00,588
(John sings)
853
00:51:00,588 --> 00:51:03,670
You hit it (laughs).
854
00:51:04,563 --> 00:51:07,813
[John] That's the dumbest thing ever.
855
00:51:11,996 --> 00:51:15,329
(slow electronic music)
856
00:51:16,588 --> 00:51:19,646
(waves crash)
857
00:51:19,648 --> 00:51:22,981
(slow electronic music)
858
00:51:39,503 --> 00:51:41,559
♪ Welcome to the jungle, baby ♪
859
00:51:41,559 --> 00:51:43,367
♪ We got fun and games ♪
860
00:51:43,367 --> 00:51:45,548
♪ Like Skee-ball and pop a shot ♪
861
00:51:45,550 --> 00:51:48,085
♪ And pizza night is Thursday night ♪
862
00:51:48,086 --> 00:51:49,972
♪ So why not stay and play ♪
863
00:51:49,974 --> 00:51:51,639
♪ We got prices that will bring you ♪
864
00:51:51,641 --> 00:51:52,730
♪ To your ♪
865
00:51:52,731 --> 00:51:54,228
♪ Sha na na na na na na ♪
866
00:51:54,230 --> 00:51:56,034
♪ Knees, knees ♪
867
00:51:56,036 --> 00:51:56,869
(Ivan laughs)
868
00:51:56,869 --> 00:51:57,898
So dumb.
869
00:51:57,900 --> 00:52:01,146
Oh, man, if I never
seen another billboard
870
00:52:01,148 --> 00:52:04,534
or hear another commercial
again, I'm all set.
871
00:52:04,536 --> 00:52:06,079
Amen.
872
00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:08,581
(waves crash)
873
00:52:10,650 --> 00:52:12,664
So what next?
874
00:52:12,666 --> 00:52:16,583
(avant-garde orchestral music)
875
00:52:17,702 --> 00:52:19,188
You see that big one?
876
00:52:19,190 --> 00:52:20,686
Right by the dead tree?
877
00:52:20,688 --> 00:52:22,105
Yeah, I see it.
878
00:52:24,929 --> 00:52:25,929
Now.
879
00:52:26,639 --> 00:52:29,139
(waves crash)
880
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:44,989
You know, when I first
came up with this idea,
881
00:52:44,990 --> 00:52:48,317
I thought about coming by myself,
882
00:52:48,318 --> 00:52:49,748
and then Em mentioned your name,
883
00:52:49,750 --> 00:52:53,916
and I was like, fuck,
yeah, Ivan, of course!
884
00:52:54,023 --> 00:52:57,900
It's a tragedy that you and
I haven't seen each other
885
00:52:57,902 --> 00:53:00,235
in as long as it's been, so.
886
00:53:02,126 --> 00:53:04,579
It's good to have you here.
887
00:53:04,581 --> 00:53:05,463
Thanks.
888
00:53:05,463 --> 00:53:06,463
And
889
00:53:07,277 --> 00:53:10,195
being around people that you trust.
890
00:53:13,494 --> 00:53:15,128
That's all there is.
891
00:53:15,130 --> 00:53:17,047
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
892
00:53:17,996 --> 00:53:20,746
(crickets chirp)
893
00:53:23,503 --> 00:53:26,085
Why didn't you bring her along?
894
00:53:29,858 --> 00:53:31,840
Em and I are fine.
895
00:53:31,842 --> 00:53:34,713
(slow electronic music)
896
00:53:34,715 --> 00:53:35,715
But
897
00:53:39,021 --> 00:53:43,188
sometimes I think about
all the years ahead of us,
898
00:53:44,925 --> 00:53:47,425
just sitting in the same room,
899
00:53:49,463 --> 00:53:51,523
watching each other lose our minds,
900
00:53:51,525 --> 00:53:53,942
you know, the great collapse.
901
00:53:56,983 --> 00:53:59,894
I think about cleaning up
after our would be kids,
902
00:53:59,896 --> 00:54:03,896
and all the shit that
goes along with that, and.
903
00:54:08,219 --> 00:54:12,052
It just feels like it
could be so suffocating.
904
00:54:13,304 --> 00:54:17,213
So I want to extend the chapter preceding.
905
00:54:17,213 --> 00:54:20,547
(slow electronic music)
906
00:54:23,757 --> 00:54:26,090
I doubt it'll be that bad.
907
00:54:27,159 --> 00:54:29,927
(slow electronic music)
908
00:54:29,929 --> 00:54:32,702
Yeah, you're probably right.
909
00:54:32,702 --> 00:54:35,452
(crickets chirp)
910
00:54:39,001 --> 00:54:40,501
Hope you're right.
911
00:54:48,509 --> 00:54:51,360
(birds chirp)
912
00:54:51,362 --> 00:54:55,112
(dissonant orchestral music)
913
00:54:57,851 --> 00:55:00,351
(birds chirp)
914
00:55:01,548 --> 00:55:05,298
(dissonant orchestral music)
915
00:55:15,559 --> 00:55:18,688
(Ivan screams)
916
00:55:18,688 --> 00:55:21,289
(dissonant orchestral music)
917
00:55:21,291 --> 00:55:24,048
(Ivan screams)
918
00:55:24,050 --> 00:55:27,969
(dissonant orchestral music)
919
00:55:27,969 --> 00:55:28,969
Ivan, hey.
920
00:55:30,266 --> 00:55:31,608
Ivan.
921
00:55:31,610 --> 00:55:32,757
Fuck.
922
00:55:32,759 --> 00:55:33,592
You okay?
923
00:55:33,592 --> 00:55:34,949
I'm coming in.
924
00:55:34,951 --> 00:55:37,485
(dissonant orchestral music)
925
00:55:37,485 --> 00:55:38,759
[Ivan] It's not my fault.
926
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:40,760
What's not your fault?
927
00:55:41,601 --> 00:55:43,601
What's not your fault?
928
00:55:43,601 --> 00:55:46,838
Hey, hey, hey, shh, shh, shh, shh.
929
00:55:46,838 --> 00:55:48,168
Hey, it's okay.
930
00:55:48,170 --> 00:55:49,172
(Ivan coughs)
931
00:55:49,173 --> 00:55:52,045
Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
932
00:55:52,045 --> 00:55:52,878
We're all good.
933
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:54,681
I'm sorry.
934
00:55:54,681 --> 00:55:55,547
I'm sorry.
935
00:55:55,547 --> 00:55:56,547
Fuck.
936
00:55:57,434 --> 00:56:01,184
(dissonant orchestral music)
937
00:56:05,012 --> 00:56:07,512
(waves crash)
938
00:56:17,597 --> 00:56:19,083
It's all you.
939
00:56:19,083 --> 00:56:21,583
(waves crash)
940
00:56:22,822 --> 00:56:23,822
Thanks.
941
00:56:26,661 --> 00:56:29,655
Before we head in,
you sure you don't want
942
00:56:29,655 --> 00:56:32,413
to get a return ticket, get out of here?
943
00:56:32,414 --> 00:56:34,724
I've got no problem doing that for you.
944
00:56:34,724 --> 00:56:36,057
No, it's fine.
945
00:56:38,143 --> 00:56:42,010
I just feel terrible,
I should have told you.
946
00:56:42,012 --> 00:56:43,280
It's cool, man, I just need
947
00:56:43,282 --> 00:56:46,268
to know you're going to be okay.
948
00:56:46,268 --> 00:56:48,686
It's not usually like that.
949
00:56:50,764 --> 00:56:52,347
That was different.
950
00:56:54,586 --> 00:56:58,643
It must be the booze, or
me being off my routine,
951
00:56:58,644 --> 00:57:01,809
or something, it's fucking with me.
952
00:57:01,811 --> 00:57:02,893
What is it?
953
00:57:04,804 --> 00:57:08,054
Schizoaffective disorder, they think.
954
00:57:10,152 --> 00:57:13,820
I get paranoid and sometimes hallucinate.
955
00:57:13,822 --> 00:57:16,322
(waves crash)
956
00:57:19,615 --> 00:57:22,612
Yeah, that's how I looked
when they first diagnosed me.
957
00:57:22,614 --> 00:57:25,697
What do they do, how do you fix it?
958
00:57:27,668 --> 00:57:30,550
I'm supposed to be on meds.
959
00:57:30,550 --> 00:57:33,795
But the last time I took
those longer than a week,
960
00:57:33,797 --> 00:57:37,831
I couldn't stop dreaming
up ways to kill myself.
961
00:57:37,831 --> 00:57:40,248
And if you don't take them?
962
00:57:41,288 --> 00:57:44,490
Then down the rabbit hole I go.
963
00:57:44,492 --> 00:57:47,824
(slow orchestral music)
964
00:57:51,981 --> 00:57:55,735
Alright, I think I'm gonna
go do my meditation thing,
965
00:57:55,735 --> 00:57:57,974
it helps calm the nerves.
966
00:57:57,976 --> 00:58:00,398
Hey, I don't want to mess
with your mojo or whatever,
967
00:58:00,398 --> 00:58:04,262
but do you mind teaching me how you do it?
968
00:58:04,262 --> 00:58:06,762
(waves crash)
969
00:58:11,728 --> 00:58:14,222
The goal is to remain
present without a bombardment
970
00:58:14,222 --> 00:58:17,056
of thoughts, just clear your mind.
971
00:58:18,547 --> 00:58:22,713
No thoughts, that should
be easy for an idiot like me.
972
00:58:22,847 --> 00:58:25,701
It's a lot harder than it seems,
973
00:58:25,702 --> 00:58:29,409
you're thinking without even realizing it.
974
00:58:29,411 --> 00:58:31,077
Just close your eyes
975
00:58:32,728 --> 00:58:33,896
and breathe in
976
00:58:35,851 --> 00:58:39,184
and feel your weight sink into the sand.
977
00:58:41,114 --> 00:58:44,313
You hear the waves in the distance?
978
00:58:44,313 --> 00:58:45,313
Yeah.
979
00:58:46,003 --> 00:58:48,914
Just focus on that,
just focus on that sound
980
00:58:48,914 --> 00:58:50,581
and that sound only.
981
00:58:52,021 --> 00:58:53,463
If a thought enters your mind,
982
00:58:53,465 --> 00:58:57,382
just let it float out to
sea with the next wave
983
00:58:59,021 --> 00:59:00,353
and the next one
984
00:59:03,108 --> 00:59:04,442
and the next one
985
00:59:06,327 --> 00:59:07,951
and so on.
986
00:59:07,952 --> 00:59:10,452
(waves crash)
987
00:59:21,869 --> 00:59:24,047
My leg's asleep.
988
00:59:24,048 --> 00:59:26,548
(waves crash)
989
00:59:29,335 --> 00:59:30,918
This is impossible.
990
00:59:33,266 --> 00:59:35,934
It's impossible not to think.
991
00:59:35,934 --> 00:59:38,434
(waves crash)
992
00:59:39,702 --> 00:59:40,702
Hey.
993
00:59:42,152 --> 00:59:43,152
Hey!
994
00:59:46,251 --> 00:59:48,313
I'm gonna head down the
beach, take a look around.
995
00:59:48,315 --> 00:59:52,150
Feel free to join me when
you're done pretending.
996
00:59:52,150 --> 00:59:54,650
(waves crash)
997
01:00:06,452 --> 01:00:09,034
(insects buzz)
998
01:00:11,728 --> 01:00:14,228
(stick snaps)
999
01:00:16,347 --> 01:00:18,931
(insects buzz)
1000
01:00:22,802 --> 01:00:26,969
Jesus, fuck, you scared
the shit out of me, dude.
1001
01:00:27,634 --> 01:00:30,458
You've been gone for like, 10 hours.
1002
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:33,692
The sun's going down, so we'll
have to go to town tomorrow.
1003
01:00:33,693 --> 01:00:37,164
Sorry, when I'm in, I'm in deep.
1004
01:00:37,164 --> 01:00:38,228
Gross.
1005
01:00:38,228 --> 01:00:39,561
(both laugh)
1006
01:00:39,561 --> 01:00:41,994
Hey, help me find some
more shit to burn, huh?
1007
01:00:41,996 --> 01:00:43,369
Sure.
1008
01:00:43,369 --> 01:00:45,952
(insects buzz)
1009
01:00:48,532 --> 01:00:50,532
So I've been thinking.
1010
01:00:52,858 --> 01:00:54,275
And is that whole
1011
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:57,574
scientist wizard
1012
01:00:59,612 --> 01:01:02,030
out of body study thing real?
1013
01:01:04,938 --> 01:01:05,938
What?
1014
01:01:06,911 --> 01:01:07,744
Yeah, it's...
1015
01:01:07,744 --> 01:01:08,577
[John] They work with a lot
1016
01:01:08,577 --> 01:01:11,077
of Schizoaffective people, or?
1017
01:01:13,298 --> 01:01:15,237
Yeah, I mean, it's just...
1018
01:01:15,239 --> 01:01:16,905
Do they even know?
1019
01:01:19,034 --> 01:01:23,201
Look, I get it, and you're
right to be skeptical,
1020
01:01:26,471 --> 01:01:27,471
it's.
1021
01:01:28,713 --> 01:01:32,278
I'm not judging at
all, I'm just curious.
1022
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,947
(fire crackles)
1023
01:01:39,478 --> 01:01:41,335
It's mostly true.
1024
01:01:41,336 --> 01:01:44,003
(fire crackles)
1025
01:01:46,742 --> 01:01:48,434
Which parts?
1026
01:01:48,436 --> 01:01:51,518
(slow ambient music)
1027
01:01:54,844 --> 01:01:56,226
The scientist guy's a real guy,
1028
01:01:56,226 --> 01:01:58,893
but I don't know him personally.
1029
01:02:01,342 --> 01:02:04,581
I follow his writings, but
I'm not part of the study,
1030
01:02:04,583 --> 01:02:06,641
there is no study.
1031
01:02:06,641 --> 01:02:09,360
(fire crackles)
1032
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,860
I just thought his
teachings would be something
1033
01:02:11,860 --> 01:02:14,152
to help my situation.
1034
01:02:14,153 --> 01:02:17,891
(slow ambient music)
1035
01:02:17,893 --> 01:02:20,257
Are you in school, is that even true?
1036
01:02:20,257 --> 01:02:22,400
Yeah, part time.
1037
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,068
(fire crackles)
1038
01:02:27,079 --> 01:02:29,079
Look, what would you do?
1039
01:02:32,286 --> 01:02:35,204
I'm losing time, and I'm losing it.
1040
01:02:36,918 --> 01:02:39,789
I just don't want to
see a friend get hurt
1041
01:02:39,791 --> 01:02:43,958
studying the writings of
some bullshit, new age guru.
1042
01:02:45,657 --> 01:02:46,690
Too late.
1043
01:02:46,692 --> 01:02:49,358
(fire crackles)
1044
01:02:54,239 --> 01:02:56,800
And I don't think meditation
is the leading cause
1045
01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:58,300
of death anywhere.
1046
01:02:59,389 --> 01:03:01,168
It's not the meditation
I'm worried about,
1047
01:03:01,168 --> 01:03:04,751
it's what you're not doing medically.
1048
01:03:04,751 --> 01:03:08,195
(fire crackles)
1049
01:03:08,197 --> 01:03:10,646
What is it you're trying
to achieve, anyway?
1050
01:03:10,646 --> 01:03:12,813
Just a little more time.
1051
01:03:14,789 --> 01:03:18,230
Just more time, as a clear-headed person
1052
01:03:18,231 --> 01:03:21,195
that's not a burden on anyone.
1053
01:03:21,197 --> 01:03:23,864
(fire crackles)
1054
01:03:24,769 --> 01:03:27,853
(slow ambient music)
1055
01:03:33,405 --> 01:03:35,905
(birds chirp)
1056
01:03:47,836 --> 01:03:51,586
(dissonant orchestral music)
1057
01:03:52,655 --> 01:03:55,155
(birds chirp)
1058
01:03:57,884 --> 01:04:01,634
(dissonant orchestral music)
1059
01:04:04,867 --> 01:04:07,367
(birds chirp)
1060
01:04:09,567 --> 01:04:13,317
(dissonant orchestral music)
1061
01:04:28,802 --> 01:04:31,302
(birds chirp)
1062
01:04:43,784 --> 01:04:46,284
(pen scrawls)
1063
01:04:49,617 --> 01:04:52,117
(paper tears)
1064
01:04:58,059 --> 01:05:00,559
(birds chirp)
1065
01:05:06,322 --> 01:05:08,739
(wind blows)
1066
01:05:14,273 --> 01:05:16,940
(paper rustles)
1067
01:05:22,251 --> 01:05:23,699
(zipper zips)
1068
01:05:23,701 --> 01:05:27,617
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1069
01:05:55,072 --> 01:05:57,923
(John hollers)
1070
01:05:57,925 --> 01:06:01,842
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1071
01:06:08,016 --> 01:06:10,516
(birds chirp)
1072
01:06:13,181 --> 01:06:16,931
(dissonant orchestral music)
1073
01:06:18,202 --> 01:06:21,119
(foliage crumples)
1074
01:06:23,998 --> 01:06:27,748
(dissonant orchestral music)
1075
01:07:11,364 --> 01:07:12,364
Hi.
1076
01:07:15,536 --> 01:07:17,952
(John chews)
1077
01:07:20,556 --> 01:07:24,306
(dissonant orchestral music)
1078
01:07:25,324 --> 01:07:27,634
(plastic crinkles)
1079
01:07:27,635 --> 01:07:30,385
(phone vibrates)
1080
01:07:34,420 --> 01:07:37,338
(plastic crinkles)
1081
01:07:39,451 --> 01:07:43,201
(dissonant orchestral music)
1082
01:07:53,552 --> 01:07:54,885
What the fuck?
1083
01:07:57,898 --> 01:08:00,836
(dissonant orchestral music)
1084
01:08:00,838 --> 01:08:01,838
Fuck.
1085
01:08:04,163 --> 01:08:07,472
(dissonant orchestral music)
1086
01:08:07,472 --> 01:08:08,472
Fuck.
1087
01:08:10,840 --> 01:08:14,672
(dissonant orchestral music)
1088
01:09:25,202 --> 01:09:28,118
(foliage crumples)
1089
01:09:31,028 --> 01:09:34,778
(dissonant orchestral music)
1090
01:09:55,239 --> 01:09:57,739
(waves crash)
1091
01:10:00,251 --> 01:10:04,001
(dissonant orchestral music)
1092
01:10:05,654 --> 01:10:08,404
(zipper squeaks)
1093
01:10:10,498 --> 01:10:14,248
(dissonant orchestral music)
1094
01:10:21,390 --> 01:10:23,082
You alright?
1095
01:10:23,083 --> 01:10:24,204
Yep.
1096
01:10:24,206 --> 01:10:25,619
Where'd you go off to?
1097
01:10:25,621 --> 01:10:28,881
Oh, I'd, uh, I thought
I'd go try meditating
1098
01:10:28,882 --> 01:10:31,466
on top of that hill over there.
1099
01:10:32,368 --> 01:10:34,818
See anything interesting?
1100
01:10:34,819 --> 01:10:36,319
Only in my mind.
1101
01:10:40,179 --> 01:10:41,512
What's up?
1102
01:10:41,514 --> 01:10:42,505
I'm gonna head into town
1103
01:10:42,506 --> 01:10:45,505
and pick up some beverages and shit.
1104
01:10:46,364 --> 01:10:47,256
[Ivan] Okay.
1105
01:10:47,256 --> 01:10:48,922
[John] You coming?
1106
01:10:49,846 --> 01:10:51,014
[Ivan] Sure.
1107
01:10:52,143 --> 01:10:55,893
(dissonant orchestral music)
1108
01:11:11,340 --> 01:11:12,340
What?
1109
01:11:14,850 --> 01:11:19,016
(dissonant orchestral music)
1110
01:11:19,382 --> 01:11:21,288
What are you talking about?
1111
01:11:21,289 --> 01:11:22,289
How?
1112
01:11:23,457 --> 01:11:26,039
(John mumbles)
1113
01:11:28,091 --> 01:11:32,007
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1114
01:11:48,622 --> 01:11:51,418
(fire crackles)
1115
01:11:51,420 --> 01:11:53,920
(waves crash)
1116
01:11:55,118 --> 01:11:56,118
Poker?
1117
01:11:57,537 --> 01:11:59,100
(waves crash)
1118
01:11:59,101 --> 01:12:01,300
No, I suck at it.
1119
01:12:01,301 --> 01:12:03,806
(waves crash)
1120
01:12:03,807 --> 01:12:05,390
Who gives a shit?
1121
01:12:10,627 --> 01:12:12,069
I'm good.
1122
01:12:12,069 --> 01:12:13,487
Come on, bitch.
1123
01:12:16,033 --> 01:12:19,194
(waves crash)
1124
01:12:19,194 --> 01:12:22,416
(John laughs)
1125
01:12:22,417 --> 01:12:24,000
Yeah, there you go.
1126
01:12:26,322 --> 01:12:28,463
You should eat something.
1127
01:12:28,465 --> 01:12:32,631
Not hungry, I haven't
been hungry all fucking day.
1128
01:12:35,945 --> 01:12:38,252
So why can't you drink?
1129
01:12:38,252 --> 01:12:41,086
What's it do to your busted brain?
1130
01:12:41,979 --> 01:12:43,395
I get confused.
1131
01:12:46,979 --> 01:12:48,801
(John spits)
1132
01:12:48,802 --> 01:12:51,802
That little sip make you confused?
1133
01:12:53,466 --> 01:12:55,132
Not right now, no.
1134
01:12:57,162 --> 01:12:59,578
Come on, man, get confused.
1135
01:13:00,845 --> 01:13:02,677
Don't be such a pussy.
1136
01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:06,010
So what are the stakes?
1137
01:13:06,011 --> 01:13:08,511
(John laughs)
1138
01:13:09,890 --> 01:13:12,715
[John] Oh, fucking, perfect.
1139
01:13:12,716 --> 01:13:14,328
What?
1140
01:13:14,328 --> 01:13:16,828
(waves crash)
1141
01:13:18,569 --> 01:13:20,569
You're a fucking liar.
1142
01:13:23,029 --> 01:13:26,287
(waves crash)
1143
01:13:26,287 --> 01:13:27,537
I gotta go pee.
1144
01:13:31,612 --> 01:13:35,362
(dissonant orchestral music)
1145
01:13:38,844 --> 01:13:41,344
(waves crash)
1146
01:14:50,140 --> 01:14:51,395
(footsteps crunch)
1147
01:14:51,395 --> 01:14:52,997
[Ivan] Whoa.
1148
01:14:52,998 --> 01:14:56,746
(dissonant orchestral music)
1149
01:14:56,747 --> 01:14:58,654
Get up, get up,
1150
01:14:58,654 --> 01:15:00,622
you piece of shit.
1151
01:15:00,623 --> 01:15:04,791
(dissonant orchestral music)
1152
01:15:05,194 --> 01:15:07,027
Woo, it's a good idea,
1153
01:15:08,203 --> 01:15:09,203
ah.
1154
01:15:11,994 --> 01:15:12,994
Fuck.
1155
01:15:13,976 --> 01:15:16,476
(waves crash)
1156
01:15:25,485 --> 01:15:27,903
(John pants)
1157
01:15:30,287 --> 01:15:32,954
(fire crackles)
1158
01:15:48,524 --> 01:15:51,024
(waves crash)
1159
01:16:34,891 --> 01:16:37,809
(footsteps crunch)
1160
01:16:40,614 --> 01:16:43,114
(waves crash)
1161
01:16:48,399 --> 01:16:52,149
(dissonant orchestral music)
1162
01:16:54,886 --> 01:16:57,469
(insects buzz)
1163
01:17:00,653 --> 01:17:03,153
(birds chirp)
1164
01:17:05,103 --> 01:17:07,520
(John pants)
1165
01:17:11,670 --> 01:17:14,252
(insects buzz)
1166
01:17:17,591 --> 01:17:20,007
(John pants)
1167
01:17:23,079 --> 01:17:26,829
(dissonant orchestral music)
1168
01:17:32,082 --> 01:17:34,832
(John cries out)
1169
01:17:37,447 --> 01:17:41,197
(dissonant orchestral music)
1170
01:18:05,182 --> 01:18:06,182
Fuck.
1171
01:18:07,238 --> 01:18:11,155
(avant-garde orchestral music)
1172
01:18:20,447 --> 01:18:23,447
(tent poles rattle)
1173
01:18:31,604 --> 01:18:35,771
(dissonant orchestral music)
1174
01:18:36,088 --> 01:18:39,006
(footsteps crunch)
1175
01:18:41,255 --> 01:18:45,005
(dissonant orchestral music)
1176
01:19:19,614 --> 01:19:22,364
(water splashes)
1177
01:19:25,286 --> 01:19:29,036
(dissonant orchestral music)
1178
01:19:33,698 --> 01:19:36,530
(thunder rumbles)
1179
01:19:38,980 --> 01:19:43,148
(dissonant orchestral music)
1180
01:19:43,378 --> 01:19:46,046
(nylon rustles)
1181
01:19:56,274 --> 01:20:00,440
My friend is missing, we've
been camping on the beach,
1182
01:20:01,792 --> 01:20:02,792
and, uh,
1183
01:20:03,969 --> 01:20:05,951
I woke up this morning,
1184
01:20:05,952 --> 01:20:10,118
he was just gone, I'm afraid
he might have drowned.
1185
01:20:13,025 --> 01:20:14,025
Yeah.
1186
01:20:15,337 --> 01:20:16,587
Yes, thank you.
1187
01:20:19,087 --> 01:20:20,087
Thank you.
1188
01:20:21,938 --> 01:20:25,688
(dissonant orchestral music)
1189
01:20:27,324 --> 01:20:30,658
(police radio chatters)
1190
01:20:36,771 --> 01:20:39,271
(clock ticks)
1191
01:20:41,409 --> 01:20:44,582
So when was the last
time you saw your friend?
1192
01:20:44,582 --> 01:20:48,750
Last night, he was there
when I went to sleep.
1193
01:20:48,894 --> 01:20:50,966
[David] Did he make or
receive any phone calls
1194
01:20:50,966 --> 01:20:53,306
or text messages before he disappeared
1195
01:20:53,307 --> 01:20:55,057
that you're aware of?
1196
01:20:56,192 --> 01:20:58,109
I don't think so, no.
1197
01:20:59,341 --> 01:21:01,507
Can I ask what happened?
1198
01:21:02,460 --> 01:21:06,627
Yeah, night before last
I slipped down this cliff,
1199
01:21:07,364 --> 01:21:11,532
and Ivan stopped my fall by
stomping on this hand hard.
1200
01:21:14,349 --> 01:21:16,432
Lucky to be alive, really.
1201
01:21:16,434 --> 01:21:19,037
I would say so, you fellas
sure got the rough end
1202
01:21:19,038 --> 01:21:21,372
of it out there, didn't you?
1203
01:21:22,358 --> 01:21:23,351
Was there any indication
1204
01:21:23,353 --> 01:21:25,895
that he would want to leave the camp?
1205
01:21:25,896 --> 01:21:28,390
Did you have any arguments with Ivan,
1206
01:21:28,391 --> 01:21:30,572
any disagreements that caused him
1207
01:21:30,573 --> 01:21:32,905
to run off or head for home?
1208
01:21:34,663 --> 01:21:38,149
I mean, we had a little disagreement,
1209
01:21:38,150 --> 01:21:40,512
I thought he was drinking
a little too much,
1210
01:21:40,514 --> 01:21:44,403
but he eventually cooled
off and we made our peace,
1211
01:21:44,404 --> 01:21:47,662
he thanked me, I thought it was okay,
1212
01:21:47,662 --> 01:21:49,943
can't imagine that would
make him want to run off.
1213
01:21:49,944 --> 01:21:53,399
How about you, did you
have a lot to drink as well?
1214
01:21:53,400 --> 01:21:55,878
A little later in the evening.
1215
01:21:55,880 --> 01:21:57,208
On the beach?
1216
01:21:57,210 --> 01:21:59,404
Yeah, on the beach.
1217
01:21:59,404 --> 01:22:01,212
You know it's illegal to
have alcoholic beverages
1218
01:22:01,212 --> 01:22:03,046
on protected property?
1219
01:22:06,868 --> 01:22:08,530
Okay.
1220
01:22:08,532 --> 01:22:11,085
So, bigger fish to fry,
1221
01:22:11,086 --> 01:22:14,886
what else can you tell
me about Ivan Marshall?
1222
01:22:14,887 --> 01:22:17,307
A couple days ago I found out he has.
1223
01:22:17,309 --> 01:22:19,391
Schizoaffective disorder.
1224
01:22:22,618 --> 01:22:24,980
I don't think that would,
1225
01:22:24,981 --> 01:22:29,149
has anything to do with him
disappearing, but, you know.
1226
01:22:29,533 --> 01:22:31,493
And you found this out after you decided
1227
01:22:31,493 --> 01:22:35,484
to travel 2,000 miles
away from home with him?
1228
01:22:35,484 --> 01:22:36,858
We were college roommates,
1229
01:22:36,859 --> 01:22:39,859
we knew each other better back then.
1230
01:22:41,179 --> 01:22:45,345
He had what I would
describe as like, a flare up
1231
01:22:45,728 --> 01:22:48,556
or an outburst or something,
I woke up one morning
1232
01:22:48,557 --> 01:22:51,640
and he was having a paranoid episode.
1233
01:22:54,551 --> 01:22:57,234
He sort of snapped out of it
1234
01:22:57,235 --> 01:22:59,980
and that's when I got the story.
1235
01:22:59,981 --> 01:23:04,149
Look, John, this doesn't
sound good, to be blunt.
1236
01:23:05,189 --> 01:23:06,543
There's a lot of rough terrain out there,
1237
01:23:06,545 --> 01:23:08,157
and a lot of things can happen,
1238
01:23:08,158 --> 01:23:11,136
and they do happen, as you know.
1239
01:23:11,136 --> 01:23:14,396
Now, would it be too much
trouble for you to stick
1240
01:23:14,398 --> 01:23:18,564
around town for a few days
while we conduct a search?
1241
01:23:18,655 --> 01:23:19,738
Not at all.
1242
01:23:20,725 --> 01:23:22,460
Do you have any contact information
1243
01:23:22,461 --> 01:23:25,628
for his next of kin, or who that would be?
1244
01:23:25,630 --> 01:23:29,445
He lived with his mom,
I don't have her info,
1245
01:23:29,447 --> 01:23:31,779
but her name's Anna Marshall.
1246
01:23:32,725 --> 01:23:33,725
Okay.
1247
01:23:35,064 --> 01:23:37,166
I'll make some calls and I'll get in touch
1248
01:23:37,167 --> 01:23:40,667
with her and let her know what's going on.
1249
01:23:59,439 --> 01:24:02,189
(water splashes)
1250
01:24:10,346 --> 01:24:13,096
(mirror squeaks)
1251
01:24:35,320 --> 01:24:36,796
(slow ambient music)
1252
01:24:36,797 --> 01:24:39,215
(John sighs)
1253
01:24:41,460 --> 01:24:44,542
(slow ambient music)
1254
01:24:45,506 --> 01:24:47,922
(John sighs)
1255
01:24:49,817 --> 01:24:52,899
(slow ambient music)
1256
01:25:08,466 --> 01:25:10,882
(John sighs)
1257
01:25:20,292 --> 01:25:21,292
Yes.
1258
01:25:24,466 --> 01:25:27,630
(slow ambient music)
1259
01:25:27,631 --> 01:25:30,131
(phone rings)
1260
01:25:32,840 --> 01:25:34,212
[Emily] John?
1261
01:25:34,213 --> 01:25:35,213
Hi.
1262
01:25:40,627 --> 01:25:43,377
(phone vibrates)
1263
01:25:52,274 --> 01:25:54,065
This is John.
1264
01:25:54,067 --> 01:25:57,287
[David] Yeah, John, this
is detective Martinez.
1265
01:25:57,288 --> 01:26:00,466
[John] Yes, yeah, good to hear from you.
1266
01:26:00,467 --> 01:26:01,301
[David] Do you mind heading down
1267
01:26:01,301 --> 01:26:03,717
to the station in 30 minutes?
1268
01:26:06,179 --> 01:26:09,072
[John] Yeah, absolutely,
everything okay?
1269
01:26:09,073 --> 01:26:11,847
[David] I'd rather chat
in person if you don't mind,
1270
01:26:11,849 --> 01:26:15,585
just head to the station,
we'll get it all sorted out.
1271
01:26:15,586 --> 01:26:16,418
[John] Okay.
1272
01:26:16,420 --> 01:26:17,863
[David] See you soon.
1273
01:26:17,863 --> 01:26:19,893
[John] Thank you.
1274
01:26:19,894 --> 01:26:23,644
(dissonant orchestral music)
1275
01:26:26,935 --> 01:26:28,685
Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say
1276
01:26:28,686 --> 01:26:32,493
that we haven't found any trace of Ivan.
1277
01:26:32,493 --> 01:26:35,293
We did find a corpse up in the hills
1278
01:26:35,295 --> 01:26:37,782
about a quarter mile from your campsite,
1279
01:26:37,783 --> 01:26:39,520
but the level of decomposition suggests
1280
01:26:39,520 --> 01:26:42,207
that it couldn't possibly be our guy,
1281
01:26:42,207 --> 01:26:45,273
he was up there for at
least a year, maybe more.
1282
01:26:45,274 --> 01:26:47,625
Apparent suicide, you
just never know sometimes
1283
01:26:47,626 --> 01:26:49,332
what you'll find up there.
1284
01:26:49,332 --> 01:26:51,099
That's insane.
1285
01:26:51,100 --> 01:26:52,211
And other than some litter that we found
1286
01:26:52,212 --> 01:26:55,134
around the campsite,
there were really no clues
1287
01:26:55,135 --> 01:26:58,033
that were helping us out.
1288
01:26:58,034 --> 01:26:59,333
I'd say the next thing for you to do is
1289
01:26:59,335 --> 01:27:03,502
to head back home, I know you
have a life to get back to,
1290
01:27:04,572 --> 01:27:06,136
but we'll continue our search here,
1291
01:27:06,137 --> 01:27:10,225
and I will personally keep you up to date.
1292
01:27:10,225 --> 01:27:13,502
I'm really sorry, John, and at
the risk of sounding cliche,
1293
01:27:13,502 --> 01:27:15,813
I want to let you know that
we really are doing everything
1294
01:27:15,814 --> 01:27:18,146
that we can at our disposal.
1295
01:27:19,006 --> 01:27:21,226
I appreciate it, thanks.
1296
01:27:21,228 --> 01:27:23,216
You have my number, please call me
1297
01:27:23,217 --> 01:27:25,894
if you remember anything, I mean it.
1298
01:27:25,895 --> 01:27:27,349
You got it.
1299
01:27:27,350 --> 01:27:29,850
Have a safe trip, my friend.
1300
01:27:35,514 --> 01:27:39,264
(dissonant orchestral music)
1301
01:27:45,244 --> 01:27:47,828
(door rattles)
1302
01:27:52,734 --> 01:27:54,234
[John] I'm home.
1303
01:27:55,216 --> 01:27:56,216
You are.
1304
01:27:58,791 --> 01:28:02,957
[John] Em, I'm so sorry for
every goddamned, dumb thing...
1305
01:28:03,453 --> 01:28:05,371
I know, I know, John.
1306
01:28:07,244 --> 01:28:08,244
It's okay,
1307
01:28:10,117 --> 01:28:12,207
you're home now.
1308
01:28:12,207 --> 01:28:16,099
(slow ambient music)
1309
01:28:16,100 --> 01:28:17,100
It's okay.
1310
01:28:19,622 --> 01:28:22,706
(slow ambient music)
1311
01:28:34,537 --> 01:28:36,204
[John] I love you.
1312
01:28:41,128 --> 01:28:42,128
So.
1313
01:28:43,832 --> 01:28:44,832
Fucking
1314
01:28:45,636 --> 01:28:46,636
much.
1315
01:28:47,305 --> 01:28:50,389
(slow ambient music)
1316
01:28:53,434 --> 01:28:54,934
I love you, too.
1317
01:29:08,646 --> 01:29:11,314
(traffic roars)
1318
01:29:15,011 --> 01:29:18,095
(police siren wails)
1319
01:29:20,092 --> 01:29:22,510
(John gasps)
1320
01:29:25,287 --> 01:29:28,314
[Emily] Hey, whoa, John, wake up.
1321
01:29:28,314 --> 01:29:29,148
(John chokes)
1322
01:29:29,148 --> 01:29:30,148
Hey, John.
1323
01:29:31,115 --> 01:29:32,448
You're dreaming.
1324
01:29:32,449 --> 01:29:33,289
(John gasps)
1325
01:29:33,291 --> 01:29:34,944
[John] What, Em?
1326
01:29:34,944 --> 01:29:36,104
Yeah.
1327
01:29:36,105 --> 01:29:36,939
[John] Emily.
1328
01:29:36,939 --> 01:29:37,771
It's okay.
1329
01:29:37,773 --> 01:29:41,939
[John] What, I can't,
I don't want to go back.
1330
01:29:42,311 --> 01:29:45,614
No, it's okay, you're just dreaming.
1331
01:29:45,615 --> 01:29:48,115
(John groans)
1332
01:29:54,601 --> 01:29:55,601
John?
1333
01:29:58,117 --> 01:29:59,117
John?
1334
01:30:03,087 --> 01:30:04,087
Jesus.
1335
01:30:10,208 --> 01:30:13,292
(wind chimes tinkle)
1336
01:30:17,185 --> 01:30:19,685
Ivan is his own man, I mean,
1337
01:30:20,617 --> 01:30:24,225
sometimes he would disappear for weeks,
1338
01:30:24,226 --> 01:30:25,850
weeks, and I wouldn't know where he was.
1339
01:30:25,850 --> 01:30:27,850
I didn't know if he was dead,
1340
01:30:27,850 --> 01:30:30,434
or off in some alley somewhere.
1341
01:30:32,192 --> 01:30:34,252
He just wanted to live,
1342
01:30:34,252 --> 01:30:36,658
and I always tried to protect him,
1343
01:30:36,658 --> 01:30:40,826
but I know how important it
was for him to see things
1344
01:30:41,081 --> 01:30:45,247
and experience things,
and he just never wanted
1345
01:30:45,551 --> 01:30:49,717
to slow down until the
disease finally made him stop.
1346
01:30:51,121 --> 01:30:54,832
(wind chimes tinkle)
1347
01:30:54,832 --> 01:30:57,166
(Anna sobs)
1348
01:31:03,703 --> 01:31:06,371
(train rattles)
1349
01:31:08,104 --> 01:31:11,086
(slow ambient music)
1350
01:31:11,087 --> 01:31:14,006
(dogs bark)
1351
01:31:14,007 --> 01:31:16,507
(bells chime)
1352
01:31:20,399 --> 01:31:23,895
(train rattles)
1353
01:31:23,896 --> 01:31:26,087
(slow ambient music)
1354
01:31:26,087 --> 01:31:28,505
(John sighs)
1355
01:31:30,979 --> 01:31:34,061
(slow ambient music)
1356
01:31:36,340 --> 01:31:38,840
(door creaks)
1357
01:31:42,195 --> 01:31:45,279
(slow ambient music)
1358
01:31:46,485 --> 01:31:48,403
Hey, giving it a try?
1359
01:31:50,467 --> 01:31:54,118
[John] Yeah, um, can
we talk for a second?
1360
01:31:54,119 --> 01:31:55,661
Can we sit?
1361
01:31:55,662 --> 01:31:56,662
Sure.
1362
01:31:57,577 --> 01:31:58,577
What's up?
1363
01:32:00,210 --> 01:32:01,210
Um.
1364
01:32:03,010 --> 01:32:07,176
This is, it's going to be
really hard for me to say.
1365
01:32:11,729 --> 01:32:14,654
I can't keep it in anymore.
1366
01:32:14,655 --> 01:32:18,703
No matter what I say, or
however long it takes,
1367
01:32:18,704 --> 01:32:21,000
just let me get it all out.
1368
01:32:21,001 --> 01:32:22,001
Okay.
1369
01:32:24,712 --> 01:32:25,712
Okay.
1370
01:32:27,020 --> 01:32:30,100
I know you slept with Ivan.
1371
01:32:30,100 --> 01:32:32,675
I know you did it more than once,
1372
01:32:32,676 --> 01:32:36,842
and I know that you wanted
to leave me for him.
1373
01:32:37,422 --> 01:32:40,506
(slow ambient music)
1374
01:32:43,079 --> 01:32:44,247
He told you.
1375
01:32:45,514 --> 01:32:47,180
He didn't have to.
1376
01:32:49,826 --> 01:32:50,826
Look.
1377
01:32:52,296 --> 01:32:53,796
I need you to know
1378
01:32:55,454 --> 01:32:58,122
that I understand why you would,
1379
01:32:59,725 --> 01:33:03,475
why you did it, and I
completely forgive you.
1380
01:33:05,605 --> 01:33:06,605
God.
1381
01:33:08,395 --> 01:33:12,478
[John] It's okay, look,
if we're gonna do this,
1382
01:33:13,404 --> 01:33:16,402
we just need to put it all on the table.
1383
01:33:16,403 --> 01:33:17,235
I can't.
1384
01:33:17,237 --> 01:33:18,403
[John] What?
1385
01:33:19,314 --> 01:33:20,684
I said I can't do this.
1386
01:33:20,685 --> 01:33:23,601
[John] Can't do what, which part?
1387
01:33:24,471 --> 01:33:27,805
All of it, I can't marry you, I won't.
1388
01:33:29,048 --> 01:33:33,216
[John] I'm saying it
doesn't matter, it's okay.
1389
01:33:33,271 --> 01:33:35,939
No, it's not okay, I feel like.
1390
01:33:39,703 --> 01:33:41,787
I know that you know, and
1391
01:33:43,623 --> 01:33:45,975
every time I look at you,
it'll be this mirror,
1392
01:33:45,975 --> 01:33:49,122
reminding me of what I
did, and then I'll think
1393
01:33:49,123 --> 01:33:51,407
of all the fucked up stuff that you did.
1394
01:33:51,408 --> 01:33:53,184
[John] You know I'm
sorry for all of that,
1395
01:33:53,185 --> 01:33:55,851
how badly I feel for everything.
1396
01:33:56,712 --> 01:33:58,000
Please.
1397
01:33:58,001 --> 01:33:59,751
It's not just that.
1398
01:34:02,454 --> 01:34:06,622
I haven't been happy for a long time now,
1399
01:34:06,625 --> 01:34:08,990
I don't, I don't want to be in a place
1400
01:34:08,992 --> 01:34:11,100
where we keep having to apologize
1401
01:34:11,101 --> 01:34:15,269
and forgive each other
over and over again.
1402
01:34:15,324 --> 01:34:16,324
But
1403
01:34:18,288 --> 01:34:19,622
that's marriage.
1404
01:34:22,488 --> 01:34:24,238
Not, not to me, no.
1405
01:34:25,445 --> 01:34:26,445
Goddammit.
1406
01:34:28,145 --> 01:34:29,645
Oh, what the fuck?
1407
01:34:31,381 --> 01:34:34,069
What did you do, why the
hell did you do, please?
1408
01:34:34,069 --> 01:34:35,069
Please.
1409
01:34:38,889 --> 01:34:40,990
I should have ended this a lot sooner.
1410
01:34:40,992 --> 01:34:41,824
[John] No.
1411
01:34:41,826 --> 01:34:45,614
I was an idiot for dragging it out.
1412
01:34:45,615 --> 01:34:46,448
[John] No.
1413
01:34:46,449 --> 01:34:48,149
It's over.
1414
01:34:48,150 --> 01:34:48,988
(dissonant orchestral music)
1415
01:34:48,989 --> 01:34:51,123
I just need to be by myself.
1416
01:34:51,125 --> 01:34:52,125
Mm-mm.
1417
01:34:53,314 --> 01:34:55,328
Please don't do this, please don't,
1418
01:34:55,328 --> 01:34:59,328
please don't do this,
look, you're not an idiot.
1419
01:35:00,329 --> 01:35:01,579
You're right.
1420
01:35:02,695 --> 01:35:06,863
I'm weak, and that's why I
couldn't end this sooner.
1421
01:35:08,591 --> 01:35:11,509
(tinnitus ringing)
1422
01:35:14,565 --> 01:35:15,856
[John] Oh, fucking fuck.
1423
01:35:15,858 --> 01:35:16,690
Hey.
1424
01:35:16,692 --> 01:35:18,440
No, fuck you, fuck.
1425
01:35:20,288 --> 01:35:21,360
Em.
1426
01:35:21,362 --> 01:35:24,117
(dissonant orchestral music)
1427
01:35:24,118 --> 01:35:25,503
No.
1428
01:35:25,505 --> 01:35:26,649
Em.
1429
01:35:26,649 --> 01:35:30,399
(dissonant orchestral music)
1430
01:35:33,195 --> 01:35:34,695
I'm sorry, please.
1431
01:35:36,951 --> 01:35:38,810
(door handle shakes)
1432
01:35:38,810 --> 01:35:42,560
(dissonant orchestral music)
1433
01:35:47,533 --> 01:35:48,461
(door bangs)
1434
01:35:48,461 --> 01:35:49,461
John.
1435
01:35:51,750 --> 01:35:55,149
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.
1436
01:35:55,150 --> 01:35:58,900
(dissonant orchestral music)
1437
01:36:03,567 --> 01:36:06,317
[Emily] Take whatever you need,
1438
01:36:07,542 --> 01:36:09,475
whatever is yours.
1439
01:36:09,476 --> 01:36:13,226
(dissonant orchestral music)
1440
01:36:39,760 --> 01:36:42,171
(door creaks)
1441
01:36:42,172 --> 01:36:44,865
(Emily cries)
1442
01:36:44,867 --> 01:36:46,646
(door slams)
1443
01:36:46,648 --> 01:36:49,148
(Emily cries)
1444
01:37:00,439 --> 01:37:03,356
(footsteps crunch)
1445
01:37:06,889 --> 01:37:09,305
(horn honks)
1446
01:37:19,417 --> 01:37:21,917
(birds chirp)
1447
01:37:29,734 --> 01:37:32,318
(Ivan screams)
1448
01:37:37,328 --> 01:37:39,744
(John gasps)
1449
01:37:43,655 --> 01:37:46,323
(traffic roars)
1450
01:38:09,878 --> 01:38:14,046
You are a creator that uses
and manipulates the evolution
1451
01:38:14,302 --> 01:38:18,210
of consciousness, and you are the result
1452
01:38:18,211 --> 01:38:21,177
of that same process,
at both the non-physical
1453
01:38:21,179 --> 01:38:23,179
and the physical levels.
1454
01:38:24,300 --> 01:38:28,122
What is it they say, with
great power comes great sex?
1455
01:38:28,122 --> 01:38:29,506
(audience laughs)
1456
01:38:29,507 --> 01:38:30,570
Money?
1457
01:38:30,572 --> 01:38:32,193
(audience laughs)
1458
01:38:32,194 --> 01:38:33,194
Whatever.
1459
01:38:34,604 --> 01:38:36,423
So what does all of this mean?
1460
01:38:36,425 --> 01:38:38,920
It means that you are the one in control,
1461
01:38:38,921 --> 01:38:42,023
you ultimately choose the
path that's right for you,
1462
01:38:42,024 --> 01:38:44,606
and all of this will take time,
1463
01:38:45,685 --> 01:38:48,047
but your skillset will improve,
1464
01:38:48,048 --> 01:38:51,364
if that's the path you choose.
1465
01:38:51,365 --> 01:38:55,115
(dissonant orchestral music)
1466
01:40:33,020 --> 01:40:37,188
(moves into slow orchestral music)
1467
01:42:24,693 --> 01:42:28,859
(moves into slow electronic music)
98225
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