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1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:04,095
Hello. If it's all right with everyone,
2
00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:07,595
I'd like to begin this morning's rounds
with a joke. Denise.
3
00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,107
Mmm, I don't really have one.
4
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:11,702
No, I meant that you were the joke.
5
00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:12,905
Good one.
6
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,278
Thanks. I thought of it this morning
while I was watching you
7
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:17,613
try to jam a catheter into Mr. Hazleton.
8
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:18,674
Yeah. He was a screamer.
9
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,644
Ya, ya.
10
00:00:21,688 --> 00:00:22,746
What's your name?
11
00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:25,223
I'm Sonja,
but everybody calls me Sunny.
12
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:28,455
Is it because of your haunting
resemblance to Sonny Bono?
13
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:30,861
- Who's that?
- Moving on to our next patient.
14
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:34,424
Mr. Francone has been in a coma
for well over a year.
15
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His organs are starting to fail
16
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:38,527
and he probably won't be with us
very much longer.
17
00:00:38,571 --> 00:00:43,099
The most important thing to remember
during his final hours here on Earth is,
18
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,408
do not ever come to me
and ask me questions
19
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:49,609
about how to treat him. He's a potato.
20
00:00:49,649 --> 00:00:53,415
If you do,
my answer will always be the same.
21
00:00:53,453 --> 00:00:56,445
Sour cream, chives, and,
if I haven't had any protein that day,
22
00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:59,856
maybe just a sprinkling
of some of those bacon bits.
23
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:03,329
Oh, my God. His hand, it moved!
24
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,830
Kidding.
25
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:08,627
The man's a potato.
26
00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:14,369
Dr. Reid, no offense,
but have you been drinking?
27
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,467
Oh, no. I read that shampooing
with beer is good for your hair.
28
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:19,842
So, I'm all sudsed up
in the shower this morning
29
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:21,005
and the hot water dies.
30
00:01:21,047 --> 00:01:23,072
So, now I've got to spend the entire day
smelling like a brewery
31
00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:25,607
because there's no way that
I'm going to rinse off with ice water.
32
00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:27,176
See, this dress
only works without a bra,
33
00:01:27,220 --> 00:01:30,621
so if I get cold,
it looks like I'm smuggling candy corns.
34
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:33,285
Hi, Peggy. This is Dr. Mahoney.
35
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:35,089
She's going to help me
take care of you.
36
00:01:35,128 --> 00:01:37,961
- What's that smell?
- It's my hair, okay?
37
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:40,659
Peggy's got a touch of pneumonia,
but she's gonna pull through.
38
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:44,898
I wish my husband was here.
He passed away several months ago.
39
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,429
- That sucks.
- It totally sucks.
40
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:50,307
We were together for 53 years.
41
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,576
I'm sorry, Peggy, is it cold in here?
'Cause it just feels a little freezing.
42
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,912
I'm just gonna get a sweatshirt.
43
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,416
I don't know, just hearing about
how much that old patient
44
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,785
missed her husband
made me think of you.
45
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:07,116
And a deep, wet tongue-kiss
right back at you.
46
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,527
- Was that J. D?
- No, it's my dad.
47
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:15,257
- Of course it was J.D.
- Oh, that's good.
48
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,236
That old broad and her dead husband
got my engine revving, too.
49
00:02:18,271 --> 00:02:19,738
I need some action.
50
00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:23,173
Luckily, Cheeseburger Day at the caf
really brings out the fatties.
51
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:24,403
Denise likes the big fellas.
52
00:02:24,444 --> 00:02:27,675
Oh, check out the ripples
on that gentleman.
53
00:02:27,714 --> 00:02:30,308
Oh, it's like somebody
threw a boulder in a pond.
54
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:31,578
Fat dudes rule.
55
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:34,678
They never expect commitment
and they try so hard in the sack.
56
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,746
Plus, they're just so grateful afterwards.
57
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:39,758
Hmm. Well, I'm just gonna
put this out here for bait
58
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:43,091
and see what ambles out of the forest.
59
00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:46,860
Gooch! I forgot to tell you
I have a girlfriend now.
60
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:49,791
Stephanie Gooch, this is Elliot.
61
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:53,363
And this is some girl who digs fat guys.
62
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,232
Come on, Gooch.
63
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:58,005
There's like 75 other people
you haven't met
64
00:02:58,044 --> 00:03:00,205
who don't believe you exist.
65
00:03:00,246 --> 00:03:05,912
Hey, Miguel, this is the girlfriend
and she is real. In your face.
66
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:09,745
Baby. Baby. Baby.
67
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,349
Baby, I was pulling
some dude's spleen out today,
68
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,020
and check it,
the blood splashed on my scrubs,
69
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,153
looks like a tiger.
70
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,222
Why is that part a different color?
71
00:03:19,265 --> 00:03:21,631
I might have used chocolate pudding
to do the tail.
72
00:03:21,668 --> 00:03:24,398
That's awesome, Turk,
but I have to tell you something.
73
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,462
- What's that?
- I'm pregnant.
74
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:27,905
What? I knew it!
75
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,672
Because these past couple of months,
your butt's been like, pow!
76
00:03:31,711 --> 00:03:33,303
It's only been two weeks.
77
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:36,509
Baby, this is big news,
and I want to talk to you about it. I do.
78
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,811
First, I've got to go to the bathroom.
79
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:40,080
It's too soon, so don't tell anyone.
80
00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:42,849
Why would you even think
I would do something like that?
81
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:45,551
J. D! I've got news!
82
00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:48,794
J. D! Where are you, friend?
83
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,562
- You seen J. D?
- No. I have not.
84
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:56,228
Would you like to know why?
He isn't coming in today.
85
00:03:56,269 --> 00:03:59,796
He's on a mini-vacation.
And it isn't just today,
86
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:02,740
he's not coming in tomorrow.
Which, by the way, is my day off.
87
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:04,675
But not anymore.
88
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:08,477
I'm coming in early and I'm staying late
because life is too darn short
89
00:04:08,514 --> 00:04:10,709
to spend the day
bonding with my family
90
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,651
when I could be roaming the halls
of this hospital
91
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:17,178
without the possibility of running into
that bearded hug-monster
92
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:18,815
you call a best friend.
93
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,264
Sorry I took so long, honey.
The line was long.
94
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:30,664
Uh-huh.
95
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:33,331
- How'd J.D. Take the news?
- He's not here today.
96
00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:35,534
I can't believe you.
97
00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,668
Yeah, right.
Like you weren't just telling Elliot.
98
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:40,611
Well, I wasn't. Because when I say
something is between us as a couple,
99
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:41,978
it stays between us.
100
00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:44,108
I'm sorry.
101
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,419
I gotta go. Congratulations.
102
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,050
All right.
103
00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,996
- Have the internal...
- Test results... The bleeding and...
104
00:04:59,032 --> 00:05:01,694
Yeah, I know. I know. Yeah.
105
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,725
Yay! Yay! Yay!
106
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:07,365
I can't do this all on my own
107
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:08,931
No, I know
108
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,943
I'm no Superman
109
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,876
I'm no Superman
110
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:18,142
Baby, it's not fair.
111
00:05:18,184 --> 00:05:20,618
You told Elliot
and got that huge, excited reaction.
112
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,621
I deserve to get that from someone, too.
113
00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,486
- One person.
- One person. Thank you.
114
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,853
Hey, Elliot, let me tell J.D.
About the baby.
115
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:29,122
Already did it.
116
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,892
J.D.: Anyway, tell Turk that'sgreat news about his baby.
117
00:05:31,931 --> 00:05:32,955
That's it?
118
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,399
J.D.: Elliot, why would you put meon speaker without telling me?
119
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:37,335
- You...
- J.D.: Turk! I'm so excited for you.
120
00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:40,066
- Too little too late, buddy!
- J.D.: Turk!
121
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,767
I don't want to talk to you, J.D.
122
00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:43,002
- J.D.: Turk!
- No.
123
00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:44,304
- J.D.: Turk!
- Not here.
124
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,141
J.D.: Elliot. Is Turk still there?
125
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:48,771
No. He's gone.
126
00:05:48,815 --> 00:05:50,840
J.D.: Good, because let's face it,everybody's having babies.
127
00:05:50,883 --> 00:05:52,976
- It's getting a little boring.
- Dude.
128
00:05:53,019 --> 00:05:55,010
J.D.: Elliot! Take me off speaker!
129
00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:56,783
I'm trying.
130
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:58,484
Stupid technology.
131
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:00,619
See you soon.
132
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,287
Dr. Cox! Two quick things.
133
00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:03,989
First off, I looked up
a picture of Sonny Bono
134
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,224
and my feelings are very, very hurt.
135
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,891
- Noted.
- Apology accepted.
136
00:06:06,933 --> 00:06:09,163
Second, I know we aren't supposed to
ask you about Mr. Francone...
137
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,794
- Huh?
- The potato.
138
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:11,895
Right.
139
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:13,769
See, the thing is,
his sister just called from London,
140
00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:17,105
and she was hoping we could keep
Mr. Francone, the potato,
141
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,668
alive until she got here.
Can you please help?
142
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,145
Let me see his chart.
143
00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:23,740
I'll tell you what to do first.
Go ahead and write this down.
144
00:06:23,783 --> 00:06:24,807
Okay.
145
00:06:24,851 --> 00:06:27,251
Wrap him in foil
and poke holes in him with a fork
146
00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:29,720
- so he cooks all the way through.
- Come on.
147
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:32,020
Sunshine, I have neither the inclination
nor the time
148
00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:34,151
to care about people who I cannot help.
149
00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:38,289
If you're looking for someone
whose heartstrings you can tug, well...
150
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,425
There's your gal. She cares.
151
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,298
In fact, it's her only real fault.
152
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,327
Look at her over there.
She's caring right now.
153
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,134
Go. Go. Go. Go.
154
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,204
Actually, yeah, Dr. Cox is here.
155
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:54,645
J.D.: God help me, I could sense it.Put me in his pocket.
156
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,308
- J.D. I'm...
- Elliot, please, I want this.
157
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:05,989
I miss my boyfriend so much.
158
00:07:06,025 --> 00:07:08,357
If he were here,
I might actually lick his face.
159
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:10,419
Thank you, Dr. Appropriate.
160
00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:13,660
Peggy, I'm going to have a quick chat
with these two, okay, sweetie?
161
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:14,825
Thanks, Bob.
162
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:17,869
Send Peggy for an ABG and a chest CT.
163
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:20,702
And, when you're done,
send her sputum for atypicals.
164
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,265
Dr. Kelso, you do realize
that you don't work here anymore?
165
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,334
Look, her husband was an old friend.
166
00:07:25,378 --> 00:07:28,506
Plus, I have forgotten
more about medicine
167
00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:30,573
than you two will ever know.
168
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:34,642
I don't know you, but I assume
I have you beat because you're blonde
169
00:07:34,687 --> 00:07:37,520
and you're rolling
with Dr. Reeks-of-Beer.
170
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:39,184
It's my hair, okay?
171
00:07:39,225 --> 00:07:40,817
Yeah, and watch the lip, grandpa.
172
00:07:40,860 --> 00:07:42,919
'Cause you wouldn't be
the first old man I ever beat up.
173
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:46,728
I like her.
She's got girl balls.
174
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:52,167
J.D.: Ah, I love listening to you work.
175
00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:56,398
Come on, admit it.You miss me as much as I miss you.
176
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,469
There you go, Dorian,
that's what I think of you as a person.
177
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,845
I hope you enjoyed it. Here, you.
178
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,874
I didn't hear it all,
but that sounded harsh.
179
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,509
- Are you okay?
- J.D.: No.
180
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,250
Hey, Teddy.
181
00:08:08,287 --> 00:08:12,485
Carla said I could tell something
to just one person, so here goes.
182
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:14,493
Carla and I are having a baby!
183
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,789
- Oh, great.
- What were you doing?
184
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,261
What the hell is the matter
with you people?
185
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:19,025
Carla and I are having a baby!
186
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,693
No, you're having a second baby.
187
00:08:22,134 --> 00:08:23,726
It's not that big a deal.
188
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,237
When we had ours,
we barely told anybody.
189
00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:27,762
You had a second kid?
190
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,832
Little girl. You held her in your arms.
191
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:31,309
Mazel tov to you both.
192
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:33,702
Can't a brother get
at least a mazel tov?
193
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:36,078
Gooch and I are going to hold off
on the babies.
194
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,912
We've only known each other a week.
195
00:08:37,950 --> 00:08:39,713
Plus, with all the cycling,
196
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:42,983
apparently I've done
a real number on my sperm.
197
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,286
Mine don't have any tails.
198
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:48,760
They're just kind of blobs
that roll from place to place.
199
00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:53,197
Oh, hey, everybody, I'll tell you someone
who just did have their first baby.
200
00:08:53,232 --> 00:08:54,790
Witman, up in Radiology.
201
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,358
- Come on!
- I love Witman.
202
00:08:56,402 --> 00:08:58,927
No. Witman's not even here.
203
00:08:59,839 --> 00:09:02,706
Hey, Nurse Espinosa, Carla.
Look, I know you're not working tonight,
204
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,142
but I was hoping you could stay and
help me keep my coma patient alive
205
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:06,644
until his sister gets here.
206
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,704
What do you say,
a little coffee and girl talk?
207
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,443
- It might be fun.
- Hmm.
208
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,883
Anyway, Dr. Cox said
that you were the one I should ask.
209
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:14,580
He did, did he?
210
00:09:15,955 --> 00:09:16,979
Hi.
211
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,422
Oh.
212
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:21,516
So.
Can you stay and help me out tonight?
213
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,495
I'll see what I can do.
214
00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:24,757
Yay!
215
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:25,957
Dial it down.
216
00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,124
Yay!
217
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,071
You eating lunch?
218
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:35,664
What gave it away?
219
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:37,699
J.D. And I usually eat lunch together.
220
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,768
Oh, God, here it comes.
221
00:09:39,812 --> 00:09:42,940
J.D. Was sitting in that exact chair
when we had our third kiss.
222
00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,449
Oh, that's very romantic.
223
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:47,316
I will try not to
drill any more farts into it.
224
00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:50,789
I just feel like something's been
weighing me down all day.
225
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:53,383
I mean, sure, I was in the x-ray room
a couple of hours ago
226
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:55,758
and when I left I totally forgot
to take off the lead vest,
227
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:59,526
but it's off now
and the weight's still there.
228
00:09:59,565 --> 00:10:02,261
I mean, it's not as bad,
but it's pretty bad.
229
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,098
It just sucks, you know?
230
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,133
I don't see how it could get any worse.
231
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:11,642
I don't understand how this happened.
She just went like that.
232
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,606
Hey, Dr. Turk.
What are you working on?
233
00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:19,117
I'm signing a death certificate
for a kid who passed away...
234
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,812
Good for you.
235
00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:24,414
Hey, listen, were you one of the people
who didn't believe I had a girlfriend?
236
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,891
Because, bam! There she is.
237
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,394
Wow. She's too cute for you, Ted.
238
00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:33,091
Right? Spread the word.
Stephanie, this is Dr. Turk.
239
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,565
- Hey.
- How's it going?
240
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,569
It's pretty good.
I'm having a baby, you know?
241
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,332
Is this your first?
242
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,132
Why, yes, it is.
243
00:10:42,174 --> 00:10:44,665
That is so awesome! Congratulations.
244
00:10:44,710 --> 00:10:46,473
That's what I was looking for! Wow.
245
00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:49,106
I want to know everything.
Do you want to talk about it?
246
00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:52,174
Gooch, let's go talk about it!
See, how it happened was...
247
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:56,452
Good night, Dr. Cox.
248
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,081
Isn't Carla staying to help you out?
249
00:10:58,124 --> 00:10:59,648
She said she had things to do.
250
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,660
But that's okay,
I know I haven't been a doctor long,
251
00:11:01,694 --> 00:11:04,891
but I'm great at placing IVs and,
you know, giving pills to people,
252
00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:06,591
so I should be fine.
253
00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:08,123
Oh.
254
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:10,467
Oh, good. You're gone, too.
255
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,737
Peggy was a sweet old bird.
256
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:18,475
She only had pneumonia.
257
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,412
She and her husband were together
for 50 years.
258
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:25,641
Sometimes, in those cases,
it's not the illness that gets you.
259
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:30,418
I mean, your soul mate's gone,
and your body just gives up.
260
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:33,518
I actually think it's kind of sweet.
261
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,885
I don't know, if I ever get married
262
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,862
and my husband dies before me...
263
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:43,530
I'm sure that I'll have enough
going on in my own life
264
00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:45,969
that I'll want to keep on living,
you know?
265
00:11:46,005 --> 00:11:49,304
Well, that's just some quality crap
you're spewing there.
266
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:50,774
You've been moping around here
all day
267
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:54,302
just because Dorian's been gone,
what, 12 hours?
268
00:11:54,346 --> 00:11:56,507
And I'm guessing you didn't hear
a word I just said
269
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,244
because you're busy
looking at your telephone
270
00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:02,311
to see if he has texted you
in the last five minutes. Did he?
271
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,824
Yes. "Thinking of you." See?
272
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:10,253
There's the smile, you see?
273
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:12,264
You're no different from Peggy.
274
00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,165
What are you saying? That if J.D. Died,
I would just die right afterwards?
275
00:12:15,201 --> 00:12:17,294
Well, I could only hope.
276
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,099
But my point is,
277
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,606
don't stand there
being judgmental about her
278
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,608
when you're no different.
279
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:32,582
What are you doing here?
280
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:35,052
Well, I think the better question is
what are you doing here?
281
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:36,486
I live here.
282
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:39,184
That's not the better question.
It's the worse question.
283
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:42,251
Why aren't you at the hospital
helping cheery, annoying intern?
284
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,194
I had stuff to do.
285
00:12:44,230 --> 00:12:45,822
What gives you the right
to give me a hard time?
286
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:48,060
Why aren't you at the hospital
helping Sunny?
287
00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:52,002
Because I don't give a damn
about terminal coma patients or interns.
288
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,733
I get to not give a damn
because I know that you always will.
289
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:55,832
I mean, give me a break, Carla.
290
00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,708
Tell me the last time
that you ever walked off on a patient.
291
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,714
The guy's been in a coma for a year!
Okay? He's an eggplant.
292
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:06,013
Okay, first of all, he's not an eggplant.
He's a potato.
293
00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:08,952
And secondly,
that's something I would say, not you.
294
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:11,422
You used to care so much
about this stuff.
295
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,357
Remember? What happened to you?
296
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,724
Oh.
297
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:21,094
It's always good to slam a door
right about now.
298
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,637
Hey, Sunny, how did it go last night?
299
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,508
- Great!
- Thank God.
300
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,973
I mean, he crashed a few times,
but I brought him back.
301
00:13:37,016 --> 00:13:38,483
I mean, really,
the only scary moment was
302
00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:41,213
when he seized while I was
injecting him with dopamine.
303
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:43,813
The needle slipped and
I accidentally stabbed myself with it.
304
00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,824
But I only freaked out for a second
until I remembered
305
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,725
that comas aren't contagious,
and then the dopamine kicked in,
306
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:50,854
which actually made
the whole night more enjoyable.
307
00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:54,457
But now I'm sort of jonesing
for another hit. Is that bad?
308
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,333
Let's go downstairs
and get you some juice.
309
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:00,738
Kelso's right.
J.D.'s gone and I'm miserable.
310
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:03,241
I used to be such a strong,
independent woman.
311
00:14:03,275 --> 00:14:06,005
Did you know, once I actually changed
the oil in my car all by myself?
312
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:08,570
- Saved thirty bucks.
- Cool.
313
00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:11,549
Yeah. Unfortunately, I dumped
the dirty old oil into a storm drain.
314
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,018
The Department of Fish and Wildlife
fined me 1,400 bucks
315
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,953
and declared me
an "enemy of the ocean,"
316
00:14:15,988 --> 00:14:17,250
whatever the hell that means.
317
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:21,084
Hey, I know I usually write songs
for kids,
318
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,617
but I wrote a song for you.
Do you want to hear it?
319
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:25,493
- Yeah.
- Okay.
320
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,123
You knocked up your lady
321
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:28,758
Now you're having a baby
322
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:31,463
'Cause you're going to bea first-time dad
323
00:14:31,503 --> 00:14:34,597
People used to tell youthat your life was meant to
324
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,074
procreate a family of your own
325
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:39,367
Then you went and did it
326
00:14:39,411 --> 00:14:40,935
'Cause you finally did it
327
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:43,642
Now you're going to haveyour own Turk clone
328
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:47,149
There's a little babyin your lady's soft womb
329
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,746
So just sit tightand don't get out the vacuum
330
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:52,985
It's time to realizethat your life is gonna change soon
331
00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:55,084
You'll be a dadFirst time, first time!
332
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:56,890
You're a dadFirst time, first time!
333
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,726
And remember
334
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,667
Did you tell her it was our first baby?
335
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:05,670
It's not your first?
336
00:15:05,704 --> 00:15:07,934
Um, it's our first since our first.
337
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:09,736
Hey, Carla,
were you one of those people
338
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:11,606
who didn't believe I had a girlfriend?
339
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:13,111
Not now, Ted.
340
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,506
When Izzy's 15
and she's trying to decide
341
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:18,846
which one of us she likes better,
I'm so gonna use this.
342
00:15:26,191 --> 00:15:27,317
What is your problem?
343
00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,419
My husband's telling everybody
that I'm pregnant with our first child.
344
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:31,861
Carla, if you're going to get upset
345
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:34,024
every time your husband
does something stupid,
346
00:15:34,066 --> 00:15:36,330
then you're going to be upset
every second of every minute,
347
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,802
every minute of every hour,
every hour of every day, every day...
348
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:39,929
Stop.
349
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:43,965
I was prepared to go to century.
But that's not why I'm here.
350
00:15:44,009 --> 00:15:46,443
I know.
I left the poor intern alone last night.
351
00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:47,706
I can't believe I did that.
352
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:50,010
I mean, don't get me wrong,
she did a great job.
353
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:52,449
Although, once she had a nightmare
that the coma patient woke up
354
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:54,475
and stabbed her,
she actually tied the patient to the bed,
355
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,612
which she probably
shouldn't have done.
356
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:58,020
But that's on me.
So go ahead, rub it in my face.
357
00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,992
As much as I'm a huge fan of
a good old-fashioned face-rubbing,
358
00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:03,790
I'm here to apologize.
359
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:06,690
J.D.: Apologize for what?Elliot, slow down!
360
00:16:06,732 --> 00:16:08,723
No, J.D., you're talking to me.
361
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:11,827
J.D.: Fine. You sound upset.What's wrong?
362
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,398
I don't want to get into it.
363
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,465
J.D.: You know what I dowhen I need to clear my head?
364
00:16:16,508 --> 00:16:19,477
I just let my mind driftand fantasize about stuff.
365
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,376
Yeah, I've noticed.
366
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,244
J. D?
367
00:16:23,282 --> 00:16:25,045
J. D! You're fantasizing right now,
aren't you?
368
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:27,382
J.D.: That's whyyou should never trust a camel.
369
00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:33,318
Hey, man, I wanted to warn you.
Stay clear of my girlfriend.
370
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,793
The Gooch does not like being lied to!
371
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,591
I'm pretty sure I can handle it, Ted.
372
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:40,427
Why did you lie
about that being your first kid, anyway?
373
00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,559
'Cause when Carla told me
about the new baby,
374
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,626
I didn't get
that crazy excited feeling I got
375
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:47,366
when I heard about Izzy. I'm an idiot.
376
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:50,000
Nah, it's just your second kid.
377
00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:52,071
Look, I don't know if you noticed,
378
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:55,638
but I've been kind of jazzed
about this being my first girlfriend.
379
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,172
You know, it's new and exciting.
380
00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:00,082
But, when she dumps me,
and, believe me,
381
00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:03,748
it's coming like a freight train,
I'll try to find a new gal.
382
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,848
And if I do, it probably won't have
383
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:09,258
that initial excitement
that the first one did,
384
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,660
but that doesn't mean
it wouldn't be great.
385
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,861
'Cause, I mean, I'd be having
a second girlfriend. Yeah.
386
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,727
Does this have anything to do
with your situation?
387
00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:21,967
- Kind of.
- Hey!
388
00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:24,635
I know. We had a great ride.
Still friends?
389
00:17:24,676 --> 00:17:27,770
- Not you, Ted.
- Still alive!
390
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,713
So help me, if you ever make me
look like a fool again,
391
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:33,707
I will bash your face in with this thing
until it is a million pieces. Are we clear?
392
00:17:33,752 --> 00:17:35,276
- Crystal.
- Good.
393
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,858
Nope.
394
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,760
The Gooch does not like being lied to.
395
00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:47,564
Whose room is this?
396
00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:49,294
Kelso's dead friend.
397
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,800
Oh, yeah, that old biddy.
398
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:56,035
You see,
I never used to say stuff like that!
399
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,942
You know, death doesn't bother me
unless it's someone I know.
400
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:03,107
And even then, if it happens
in a funny way, like my cousin, who,
401
00:18:03,148 --> 00:18:06,117
honest to God,
was flattened by a steam roller,
402
00:18:06,151 --> 00:18:08,016
I still actually enjoy it.
403
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:11,045
I abandoned an intern who was just
trying to keep her patient alive
404
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,921
so his sister could say goodbye.
405
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:16,052
Look, sooner or later,
everybody in this place
406
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,963
stops caring about hopeless,
terminally-ill, brain-dead coma patients
407
00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,865
and interns who want to save the world.
408
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:27,304
You somehow managed to hang on
quite a bit longer than the rest of us.
409
00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:31,740
Carla, you are a wonderful nurse.
410
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:35,975
You got a husband. Plus you got a kid.
Plus you got another kid coming.
411
00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:39,541
It was completely unfair of me
to expect more of you
412
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,883
than anyone else in this dump.
413
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,218
Now brace yourself,
because here it comes.
414
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:50,990
I, Percival Ulysses Cox, am sorry.
415
00:18:51,930 --> 00:18:53,261
Ulysses?
416
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:58,335
Write your name and put it on my cast
417
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,168
So just call him already.
You know you want to.
418
00:19:01,206 --> 00:19:03,140
No.
I don't want to end up being an old lady
419
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:06,008
who's so dependent on her partner
that she just croaks right after he does.
420
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,535
I wish I was emotionally healthy enough
to love someone so much
421
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:12,846
that I died after they did.
I was with that dude last night.
422
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,079
The only way I'm gonna die after him is
423
00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,917
if he had a heart attack
while he was on top of me.
424
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:20,322
Crap, I just turned myself on. Rudy.
425
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,325
Upstairs.
426
00:19:23,362 --> 00:19:25,990
God help me, I like that crazy bitch.
427
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:28,733
I thought it would be different
this time with J.D.
428
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,997
I didn't think
I'd let myself get so vulnerable.
429
00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,731
Well, that's dumb.
430
00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,666
Relationships are about taking
a leap of faith.
431
00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,404
That's why it's called "jumping in."
432
00:19:39,444 --> 00:19:43,642
Now, Dorian seems to make you happy,
God knows why. Isn't that enough?
433
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:47,049
You found another wayto get it back instead
434
00:19:47,085 --> 00:19:48,279
J.D.: Hello?
435
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,016
Hey, I miss you.
436
00:19:54,159 --> 00:19:56,059
J.D.: I get why it wigged you out.
437
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,756
At the end of the day,relationships are tricky.
438
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:02,426
Please don't do that whole
philosophical, pontificating thing.
439
00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:03,661
J.D.: Okay.
440
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:05,836
Fine, go ahead.
441
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:09,068
J.D.: Thanks. Things are alwaysdifferent the second time around.
442
00:20:09,107 --> 00:20:13,976
You are about to be a big sister, Izzy.
Yes, you are. Huh?
443
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,441
J.D.: You just have to remember that
444
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,243
even if things are changingall around you,
445
00:20:17,282 --> 00:20:19,682
deep down,you're still the same person.
446
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:21,049
I guess.
447
00:20:22,020 --> 00:20:24,853
Hey, Carla.
Can I talk to you for a second?
448
00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:29,252
You know you're not supposed to be
working tonight, right?
449
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,727
Yeah, I know.
450
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:34,129
Sunny said the sister would be here
in about six hours, and
451
00:20:35,267 --> 00:20:39,397
I'm not ready to let go
of that part of myself yet, you know?
452
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:40,898
Yes.
453
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,234
- Do you want to stay and help?
- No, I do not.
454
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:47,000
Goodnight, Ulysses.
455
00:20:47,713 --> 00:20:49,874
If I believe it
456
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,077
Okay...
457
00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,045
I will leave it
458
00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,622
J.D.: Hi, Perry.
459
00:21:00,626 --> 00:21:03,857
Probably checking your pocketsright now, but I'm not there.
460
00:21:03,895 --> 00:21:07,353
See, I had Elliot hide mesomewhere in your office.
461
00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:08,627
Now, while I've got you,
462
00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:11,295
I thought we could discussour relationship.
463
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:14,134
It's had some upsand it's had some downs.
464
00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,766
I'm going to startby passing out some gold stars.
465
00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:19,709
The first one goes to you,for your passion.
466
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:24,308
The next one goes to me,for my compassion.
467
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:27,648
What I think we should do istake passion and compassion...38033
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