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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,000 [Music playing] 2 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:23,500 [Soft music playing] 3 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:48,000 Iain Banks The Wasp Factory 4 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:27,790 The PHONE CALL 5 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,990 Man: Well, no. See, because you wouldn't need to do anything. 6 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,000 We could do that for you here. 7 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,000 Yeah, absolutely. 8 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,800 Yeah, that'd be lovely. 9 00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,600 Thank you. 10 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,990 Yeah, could you give me two seconds? Oops, sorry. 11 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:57,500 Just two seconds. There's a number for you. 12 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,800 Yep. 13 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:35,400 [Phone rings] [Exhales sharply] 14 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,600 [Phone rings] 15 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,790 Hello, crisis center. How can I help you? 16 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,190 The Man (On phone): [Breathing heavily] 17 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,390 Hello, there. My name's Heather. 18 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,000 Can I help at all? 19 00:02:56,500 --> 00:03:00,490 The Man (On phone): [Crying softly] 20 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:03,490 You know it can be very hard to speak... 21 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:07,200 ...when we're stressed or when we're unhappy. 22 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,390 The Man (On phone): [Crying softly] 23 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,900 It sounds to me as if you feeling very unhappy. 24 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,990 Do-- 25 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,000 Do you think you'd be up to share anything about yourself with me? 26 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,800 I'll try. 27 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,600 Good. 28 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:37,800 I'm Heather. Is it ok to ask what your name is? 29 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:40,500 Stanley. 30 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,090 Hello there, Stan. Is it all right if I call you Stan? 31 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:49,790 - Yeah, of course. - Good. 32 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:54,200 That's nice. We know each other's names now. - Yeah. 33 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,190 Stanley (On phone): [Breathing heavily] 34 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:03,000 There's no hurry, Stan. I'll be here all evening. 35 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,500 You just take your time. Ok? 36 00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:14,600 What is it that's making it so difficult at the moment, Stan? - I'm scared. 37 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,000 What's making you scared, Stan? 38 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:22,800 - I can't tell you. - Heather: Ok. 39 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,790 You know, sometimes... 40 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,890 ...when we're scared about something, and we can share it with someone else... 41 00:04:30,900 --> 00:04:34,490 ...it helps us feel a little bit less scared. - Uh, yes. I know that. I know that. 42 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,590 I just can't tell you. 43 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:41,390 Well, that's all right. You just take your time, all right? 44 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:45,990 Anyway. It's too late now. 45 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,500 It's-- uh, it's already done. 46 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,500 What's already done, Stan? 47 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:04,190 Has life been a bit difficult lately for you? 48 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,590 - Difficult? Yes. - Yeah? - Yes. Uh, yes it has. Yeah. 49 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,990 - Sorry to hear that. - It's been difficult... 50 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:16,500 ...for a long time, for two years. - Yeah? - Two years ago today. 51 00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,800 What happened two years ago, Stan? 52 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:27,790 Have you called us before, Stan? - No. 53 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:32,590 - Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure. - Ok. 54 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,590 Stanley (On phone): [Breathing heavily] 55 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,790 Stanley, just going back. You said it's already done. 56 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,490 What did you mean by it's already done? - I can't tell you. 57 00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:47,890 You'll trace the call and I don't want you to. I'll-- I'll just hang up. 58 00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:50,390 No, don't hang up, Stanley. Don't hang up. 59 00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,790 We don't trace calls ever. - Are you sure? - Yeah, I promise you. 60 00:05:54,800 --> 00:06:00,190 We don't do that here. We just offer support during difficult times. Ok? 61 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:04,090 - All right, all right. - I won't do anything you don't want me to. - Ok. - I swear. 62 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,890 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's-- What's your name? Heather? 63 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,990 - That's right. - Heather. - That's a good memory. - I'm sorry, Heather. 64 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,800 No need to apologize. 65 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,590 It sounds to me like it was very painful for you... 66 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,190 ...whatever happened two years ago. - Yes. Oh, yes. 67 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,900 It was very painful. 68 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,790 Stanley: [Crying] 69 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,590 - I... - It's all right.- I lost- 70 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,990 I lost Joan! 71 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:43,590 - And who was Joan exactly? - She was my wife. [Crying] 72 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:48,800 Oh, God. - It sounds like you're feeling a lot of pain. 73 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Thank you so much for sharing that with me, Stan. 74 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:59,590 Now, Stan, you said before that you were scared. 75 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,900 What exactly are you scared about, Stan? 76 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:10,800 I felt so-- so desperate. 77 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:21,200 - You say you felt desperate, Stan? - Yes, yes, I did. I felt so- 78 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:27,090 I'm-- I'm much Cal-- much calmer now. 79 00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:30,600 What's made you feel calmer, Stan? 80 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:34,600 Stan? 81 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,090 I-- I can't say. 82 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:43,090 You know, sometimes when life gets bad we feel really desperate and... 83 00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:48,000 ...sometimes we do-- We do stupid things we wouldn't normally do. 84 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:52,790 I know. I know, but... 85 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:56,790 I can-- I can't go. 86 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:01,800 I couldn't go, not without Joan. 87 00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,500 Have you taken some pills, Stan? 88 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,590 Uh, yes. Yes, I have. 89 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:19,500 [Clock ticking] 90 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,200 Ok. 91 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,200 And what exactly did you take, Stan? 92 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,790 Uh. 93 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,490 Um-- 94 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:39,000 - Stan? - Antidepressants. - Yeah? - I got them from the doctor. - Ok. 95 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,490 Do you remember how many you took? - Oh, lots, lots. 96 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:47,390 No more than enough. - Ok. 97 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:52,000 And do you remember when you took them exactly? - Uh. 98 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,090 - Try to think. - Um... 99 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:59,990 I had some a half an hour ago, something like that. - Yeah? 100 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:05,790 And how do you feel about that now? - Calm. Quite- quite- 101 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,190 - Yeah. - Quite calm, I think. Um- - Ok. 102 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:12,590 I think they've started working now. 103 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:17,800 I'm quite-- I'm quite frightened. 104 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,900 Frightened you might have made a mistake? 105 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,690 No. Fri-- fright-- 106 00:09:28,700 --> 00:09:33,390 ...frightened of being on my own at the end. 107 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:38,490 Uh, can you just-- can you just, uh, stay there and talk to me? 108 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:41,490 Heather: Oh, yeah. Of course. I am here. I am here. 109 00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:43,390 Heather: Now, Stan... 110 00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,990 ...if you tell me your address, I can get an ambulance straight over to you. Yeah? 111 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,190 - No, no, no - And then you can receive treatment. - No. 112 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,490 - And then we can have a little chat again. - No, no, no. - Yeah? 113 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,290 And we can-- 114 00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:57,690 We can really help you to improve these horrible feelings you're having. 115 00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,790 - No, no, no. - We can do that. 116 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,890 No, it's not possible. Not without Joan, I told you. 117 00:10:03,900 --> 00:10:07,590 You sound very nice and thank you for caring. 118 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,190 But I know this is right for me. I've-- 119 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:17,190 I've-- I've been thinking about it for two years now. 120 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,990 And I've waited-- or I've thought about it. 121 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,800 And it's the only way. 122 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,600 It's the only way. 123 00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:32,500 Stan, do you have family at all? Any children? 124 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,390 Um, yes. 125 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,590 - Yeah? - A daughter. 126 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:44,390 - What's her name? - Molly. - Molly. 127 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:49,200 This was 25 years ago, she-- She was stillborn. 128 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:53,190 Joan's buried with her. 129 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:56,990 - Oh, that must be very hard for you. - I visit them and... 130 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,990 ...take them flowers every week. 131 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:04,900 We were unable to have any more pregnancies after that. 132 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,590 - It must have been very hard. - Yes, yes, it was. - Yeah? 133 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:13,000 - Stanley: It was much-- but it was much harder for Joan. - Of course. 134 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,190 - Heather: Um. - Much harder for her. 135 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:23,790 Will you tell me about Joan? What did you like doing to-- together? 136 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,990 Well, uh... 137 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,890 We were married for 31 years. 138 00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:33,390 We were devoted to each other. We just-- we just looked after each other. 139 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:39,000 I did jobs around the house, and did the roses... 140 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:45,200 ...and she worked part-time. She was a volunteer around the corner at the Boston. 141 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:53,590 She-- she sounds like a very lovely lady. Yeah? 142 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,990 She was. She was very lovely lady. She was wonderful. 143 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:01,590 She really cared about people. 144 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,990 It was just particularly difficult when we lost little Molly but... 145 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,990 ...we managed to get through that. 146 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,200 And she got breast cancer. 147 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,090 She had all the treatment... 148 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,090 ...the chemo, horrible, horrible, chemo. 149 00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:23,400 She suffered for three years. 150 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,900 I keep thinking she's going to go come home. 151 00:12:28,900 --> 00:12:32,190 Of course, she never does. 152 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,800 She never does. 153 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,500 Stan... 154 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,090 ...for only knowing so much about you, I feel like-- 155 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:54,200 I feel like you're my friend. 156 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,490 But I'm a little bit distressed about all those pills you've taken. 157 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:02,490 Can I call you an ambulance, please? - No, please, don't ask me that again. 158 00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:06,590 I will hang up. - No, don't hang up, Stanley. Don't hang up. Don't do that. 159 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:10,490 Can't you just stay and talk to me? 160 00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:14,590 Are you allowed to do that? Can you just stay there... 161 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:19,200 ...and talk, and hold my hand? Is that all right? 162 00:13:22,500 --> 00:13:24,800 Heather: Yeah. Yeah. 163 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:30,190 Of course I can, Stanley. I'm not going anywhere. 164 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,990 Yeah. I'm scared. 165 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,900 I know you are, sweetheart. 166 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,890 Will you tell me about Joan? - What? 167 00:13:40,900 --> 00:13:42,890 What did you like doing together? 168 00:13:42,900 --> 00:13:46,390 Oh, we liked lots of things. 169 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:52,200 We liked walks. - Yeah. - Walking, even in the winter we'd wrap up. 170 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:59,400 She loved music. - Did she? - I played in a band, you see? 171 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,590 Did you? What sort of-- 172 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,190 What sort of-- What sort of music did you play? 173 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,990 Uh, jazz. I played tenor sax. 174 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,800 - Really? - Yeah. 175 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:17,690 - I used to play a little bit of jazz on the piano. - Oh yeah? - Yeah. 176 00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:20,690 What sort of-- sort of-- What sort of stuff did you do? 177 00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,590 Glenn Miller. I-- 178 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:27,490 I was standing up to play solos and that "String of... moods-- 179 00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:31,790 "String of-- Glenn Miller, the whole performance. 180 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:36,800 Standing up to play solos and that "String of Pearls" "In the Mood." 181 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,190 - Yeah. I love Glenn Miller. - Yeah? - Heather: Mm. 182 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,200 It's a different world, isn't it? 183 00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:49,590 I once-- I once tried to play tenor sax but could only make it squeak. 184 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,890 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That can happen. 185 00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:57,390 It's all about lip control, "embouchure" they call it. 186 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,490 It's easy to learn. I could teach you. 187 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,790 - Heather: Yeah? Could you? - Stanley: Oh, yeah. 188 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,590 Yeah? I'd really like that. You sound-- 189 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:07,090 You sound very talented. 190 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:11,090 I-- I would have loved to have been a performer. - Why didn't you? 191 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,990 Too much of a scaredy-cat. 192 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:19,900 I always wanted to play Ronnie Scott's. - Oh, well, we played Ronnie Scott's. 193 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:24,200 - Really? - Yeah, quite a few times. 194 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:28,190 That's-- That's amazing, isn't it? 195 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,390 You did that. 196 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:35,590 Well, I used to love it there, I used to go all the time. 197 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,900 I haven't been there in ages. - Why not? 198 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,790 I don't know. I don't really go anymore. I'm too old. 199 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,590 Stanley (On phone): [Laughs] Oh, too old! 200 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,190 I'll tell you about old. [Heather, laughs] 201 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,800 A young girl like you. Go again. 202 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:59,500 Stan, I'm sorry, but I have to ask, you know? 203 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,600 Are you sure it's not too late? 204 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:09,800 [Clock ticking] 205 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:14,200 Uh, I'm afraid-- 206 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:20,990 I'm afraid it is too late. But you've been wonderful. 207 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:26,800 You've been a wonderful friend to me. Thank you. 208 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,390 I'm sorry, so sorry. 209 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:37,590 My name-- My real name is... 210 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,800 ...John. I did call you once. 211 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:46,590 - Did you? - I'm so sorry. - No. It's all right. 212 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:49,490 It's all right, Johnny. You just stay on the line. 213 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:52,590 You just stay with me, John. 214 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,190 John? John? Kee-- kee- Keep talking to me, John. 215 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,590 Heather: Please, stay on the line. 216 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:02,490 John, you keep speaking to me. Don't hang up. John, are you still there? 217 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:05,800 [Heather's voice fading out] 218 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:08,200 Hello? 219 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:13,590 Hello, my love. I'm home. - John: I'm through here, my love! 220 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,790 I was just having a little sleep. Where have you been? 221 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:20,000 I've been looking for you. 222 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:25,190 John: Well, you found me now. Come on, let me have a look at you. 223 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,590 [They kissing] 224 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,490 - John: I've missed you. - Joan: I've missed you, too. 225 00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:33,990 [They kissing again] John: [Chuckling] 226 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,800 [Music playing] # Carmen Phelan - Take This Dance # 18845