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1
00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:07,079
To make more cash, Sacred Heart
had started catering to rich folk.
2
00:00:07,367 --> 00:00:09,323
Hence, the swanky new suites.
3
00:00:09,953 --> 00:00:11,386
Turndown service, Mr Worthington?
4
00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:13,616
- No, not now.
- When's a good time?
5
00:00:13,999 --> 00:00:15,318
Never, he's in a coma.
6
00:00:16,793 --> 00:00:19,102
Not only were the new suites
super-expensive,
7
00:00:19,338 --> 00:00:22,011
they were absolutely ruining my figure.
8
00:00:25,594 --> 00:00:27,824
Turk and Carla had just brought
their new baby home.
9
00:00:28,055 --> 00:00:29,010
What's up, Isabella?
10
00:00:29,348 --> 00:00:33,864
For your 16th birthday,
your dad has made you a video tape.
11
00:00:39,983 --> 00:00:42,213
Now, I know future me
is probably really strict,
12
00:00:42,569 --> 00:00:45,367
so no dating, no makeup
and no spending spring break
13
00:00:45,614 --> 00:00:46,569
with your friends on Mars.
14
00:00:46,865 --> 00:00:49,140
The last thing I need to worry about
is my daughter getting eaten
15
00:00:49,368 --> 00:00:52,644
by a giant space slug.
You know what I'm saying?
16
00:00:52,913 --> 00:00:56,349
Anyway, for your 16th birthday,
my gift to you is to show you
17
00:00:56,625 --> 00:00:59,378
how happy your mom was
the day we brought you home.
18
00:01:00,420 --> 00:01:01,694
Baby?
19
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,273
I can't do this.
20
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,671
We have to take her back.
21
00:01:10,889 --> 00:01:13,961
Happy Birthday, sweetheart.
We'll talk later.
22
00:01:14,226 --> 00:01:16,615
As for me, my pregnant girlfriend
just moved away,
23
00:01:16,853 --> 00:01:18,650
but I was still keeping things spicy.
24
00:01:18,855 --> 00:01:20,447
Of course I miss you, baby.
25
00:01:20,649 --> 00:01:23,800
You want to see a picture of me
missing you? Hold on.
26
00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:27,553
Thanks.
27
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:30,776
Do you want to see a picture
of my rock-hard abs?
28
00:01:31,076 --> 00:01:32,475
Okay, hold on.
29
00:01:37,583 --> 00:01:39,460
No, no. I've always had an inny.
30
00:01:39,668 --> 00:01:41,260
Uh, okay.
31
00:01:41,461 --> 00:01:43,053
She wants to see a picture of my ass.
32
00:01:43,422 --> 00:01:46,573
- Oh, J.D. I don't want to...
- I am your superior!
33
00:01:48,927 --> 00:01:50,599
What the...
34
00:01:50,804 --> 00:01:52,999
Oh, hey, Elliot.
I'll have him back to you in one second.
35
00:01:54,016 --> 00:01:57,053
Kim, yeah, those pictures are of Keith,
okay? Read 'em and weep.
36
00:01:57,311 --> 00:01:58,824
Look, J.D. will call you back later.
37
00:01:59,271 --> 00:02:02,388
Keith, why do you keep letting
people take pictures of your body?
38
00:02:02,649 --> 00:02:04,685
I mean, this is exactly like that night
I caught you in the bathroom
39
00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:07,131
- at the bus station.
- Come on, this is nothing like that.
40
00:02:10,991 --> 00:02:12,060
What the hell are you doing?
41
00:02:12,951 --> 00:02:15,988
Oh, hey, Elliot.
I'll have him back to you in one second.
42
00:02:16,371 --> 00:02:18,965
I'm getting a little flare off the urinal.
43
00:02:19,625 --> 00:02:22,776
- Actually, Keith, it's a little like that.
- Little bit.
44
00:02:23,170 --> 00:02:25,320
One areola shot, real quick.
45
00:02:39,269 --> 00:02:41,578
Now that Elliot was private practise,
there were tons of perks.
46
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,532
For one, Dr Kelso
still refused to speak to her.
47
00:02:44,775 --> 00:02:45,890
Hey, Dr Kelso.
48
00:02:46,568 --> 00:02:49,538
Oh, if you're a doody-face,
don't say anything.
49
00:02:51,281 --> 00:02:54,159
Get used to that joke, people,
because I'm going to be doing it
50
00:02:54,409 --> 00:02:55,683
all the time.
51
00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,951
Still, the biggest perk is that at 5:00,
52
00:02:59,164 --> 00:03:02,201
she gets to dump her patients
on someone else and go home.
53
00:03:02,751 --> 00:03:05,185
Mr Sandville has HOCM.
I'm not using dysopyramide,
54
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,251
so just continue treating him
with beta-blockers.
55
00:03:07,464 --> 00:03:10,217
You're giving orders to me?
56
00:03:10,467 --> 00:03:14,221
O.M.G., Barboo,
you make me want to L.O.L.
57
00:03:15,597 --> 00:03:17,315
I just discovered text messaging.
58
00:03:17,516 --> 00:03:20,952
I know I'm a little late to the game, but
that doesn't mean that you're any less
59
00:03:21,228 --> 00:03:26,427
of a G.A.B.P.I.T.A.W.M.M.W.
number two, D.
60
00:03:27,901 --> 00:03:29,300
Giant Annoying Bangsy Pain in the Ass
61
00:03:29,486 --> 00:03:31,397
Who Makes Me Want to Die.
62
00:03:31,613 --> 00:03:34,764
Well, I'm just a little bit late
for my brow wax and my facial,
63
00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:38,150
so I'm just gonna
stick these orders to your lab coat
64
00:03:38,412 --> 00:03:39,891
so you don't forget them.
65
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,150
Enjoy doing my bidding while
a team of burly old Russian women
66
00:03:42,374 --> 00:03:43,648
make me beautiful.
67
00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,840
Fine, I don't want to go home, anyway.
68
00:03:47,212 --> 00:03:50,807
He said in a sarcastic tone
we've all come to know as "Coxian. "
69
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,158
I mean it. I don't want to go home.
70
00:03:54,386 --> 00:03:56,138
Ever since Jordan
entered her third trimester,
71
00:03:56,346 --> 00:03:58,337
she has become a needy,
bloated, behemoth
72
00:03:58,557 --> 00:04:00,673
with a temper as big
as her tree-trunk-sized cankles.
73
00:04:00,934 --> 00:04:02,925
And besides, even if I did go home
she'd probably just send me out
74
00:04:03,145 --> 00:04:06,023
on a food run to satiate
one of her insane cravings.
75
00:04:09,234 --> 00:04:11,589
Honey, I brought you some dinner.
76
00:04:12,988 --> 00:04:15,138
Come here, little cooty-coo...
77
00:04:20,954 --> 00:04:23,343
I wasn't finished!
78
00:04:23,582 --> 00:04:24,617
You're finished.
79
00:04:28,837 --> 00:04:30,714
Honey, postpartum depression's
really serious.
80
00:04:30,923 --> 00:04:33,517
True, but there are different levels.
81
00:04:33,759 --> 00:04:36,193
Yes, some women
leave their babies in the woods,
82
00:04:36,428 --> 00:04:39,500
but some women just get the weepies.
83
00:04:39,765 --> 00:04:42,996
- And this is just the weepies?
- Just the weepies, baby.
84
00:04:44,645 --> 00:04:48,160
Hi! Since you're African-American,
I was wondering if I can borrow
85
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:52,194
- some of your Marvin Gaye CDs?
- Sure, come on in, kid.
86
00:04:53,028 --> 00:04:54,256
Here you go.
87
00:04:54,905 --> 00:04:58,454
Thanks. Mazel tov on the baby.
88
00:04:59,451 --> 00:05:00,884
How did he know I had a baby?
89
00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:08,733
Great!
90
00:05:08,919 --> 00:05:11,433
I milked through my last clean T-shirt.
91
00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:16,707
- Baby, we should really get some help.
- No, I've been a nurse for 15 years.
92
00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:20,344
What are they going to tell us
that we don't already know?
93
00:05:20,597 --> 00:05:22,747
Now, now, who are we?
94
00:05:24,017 --> 00:05:26,247
- We're the Turks.
- And can the Turks get through this?
95
00:05:26,478 --> 00:05:28,116
Woman, the Turks
can handle anything!
96
00:05:28,313 --> 00:05:29,905
- Okay.
- Okay, now, give me a hug!
97
00:05:30,107 --> 00:05:31,142
- Okay.
- Wait, you know what,
98
00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:32,465
could you change first?
99
00:05:33,068 --> 00:05:35,263
'Cause I don't want to get
any booby juice on my new T-shirt.
100
00:05:35,821 --> 00:05:36,810
Okay.
101
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,715
To me, the best thing about Elliot
is all her extra cash.
102
00:05:44,329 --> 00:05:46,206
Hey, roomie! I went shopping.
103
00:05:46,915 --> 00:05:49,224
This couch reminded me
of my grandpa.
104
00:05:49,459 --> 00:05:51,415
He used to drive around
in a car just like it.
105
00:05:51,712 --> 00:05:54,624
You know, until he was killed
in that seven-car pileup.
106
00:05:55,048 --> 00:05:57,642
"Seven-Car Pileup" would be
a good name for a rock band.
107
00:05:57,884 --> 00:06:01,240
Yeah, you actually told me that
on the day that he died.
108
00:06:01,847 --> 00:06:03,485
- Oh.
- Anyhoo, I was thinking
109
00:06:03,682 --> 00:06:05,513
maybe we should put in
some new hardwood floors.
110
00:06:06,143 --> 00:06:08,293
Why stop at hardwood?
111
00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:11,800
Yeah! The new floors are in!
112
00:06:16,361 --> 00:06:20,639
Careful, trampoline floors
take some getting used to
113
00:06:22,326 --> 00:06:24,317
but I love them.
114
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:28,112
I like bouncing, but it is dangerous.
115
00:06:28,373 --> 00:06:31,365
I don't care if you don't like green.
JELL-O is JELL-O.
116
00:06:31,627 --> 00:06:35,461
Laverne, if I accidentally
backed my car over Barbie
117
00:06:35,756 --> 00:06:38,828
for sticking me with
the world's most annoying patient,
118
00:06:39,092 --> 00:06:41,925
what do you think
your boy Jesus would do?
119
00:06:42,179 --> 00:06:45,410
- Your wife is on the phone.
- He is not a merciful God, is he?
120
00:06:46,725 --> 00:06:47,714
Just tell her I'm still working,
121
00:06:47,893 --> 00:06:49,611
I have no idea what time
I'm going to get off
122
00:06:49,811 --> 00:06:51,722
and just go ahead
and eat the entire mattress.
123
00:06:51,939 --> 00:06:54,055
- I mean, for the love of God!
- He'll have to call you back.
124
00:06:54,274 --> 00:06:57,789
I spend the entire day with patients
and the entire night with her.
125
00:06:58,445 --> 00:06:59,924
I need a hideout.
126
00:07:00,113 --> 00:07:02,263
You're telling me.
I got this new landlady,
127
00:07:02,491 --> 00:07:03,924
boozy old broad,
keeps showing up at my door
128
00:07:04,117 --> 00:07:07,029
in an open robe and a bottle of gin.
I don't want to go home.
129
00:07:07,412 --> 00:07:09,528
Can you tell Dr Kelso
that Mr Worthington's family
130
00:07:09,748 --> 00:07:12,057
transferred him from the luxury suite
to a hospice, please?
131
00:07:15,879 --> 00:07:18,632
My God, this is beautiful.
132
00:07:19,049 --> 00:07:22,280
Gentlemen,
how's Mr Worthington doing?
133
00:07:23,303 --> 00:07:25,737
- He, he's in a coma, Bob.
- Great.
134
00:07:26,431 --> 00:07:28,740
The man has the health insurance
of a Tahitian prince.
135
00:07:39,278 --> 00:07:40,996
Well, I've got to tell you, this is heaven.
136
00:07:41,655 --> 00:07:46,729
This gourmet trail mix is fantastic.
I'm tasting vanilla, cranberry,
137
00:07:47,077 --> 00:07:49,796
- a hint of pine.
- That's potpourri, genius.
138
00:07:51,081 --> 00:07:53,151
Is that hickory?
139
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:56,014
You should see
all the sweet new toys Elliot bought.
140
00:07:56,253 --> 00:07:58,369
It's awesome!
It's like that time in college
141
00:07:58,589 --> 00:08:00,102
when we got to split
all of Chugski's stuff
142
00:08:00,299 --> 00:08:01,812
when he drank himself to death.
143
00:08:02,009 --> 00:08:04,159
I miss you, you crazy Polish bastard.
144
00:08:04,636 --> 00:08:06,149
Pour some out for one's homies.
145
00:08:09,725 --> 00:08:12,478
- So, how are things at the homestead?
- Oh, no worries.
146
00:08:13,979 --> 00:08:16,971
I can't feed my own baby.
147
00:08:19,776 --> 00:08:21,971
See, baby, the great thing
about working at a hospital
148
00:08:22,195 --> 00:08:25,232
is that we have access
to all types of medical care.
149
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:29,722
Having trouble feeding your baby?
Say hello to your lactation specialists.
150
00:08:30,037 --> 00:08:32,028
- Hi.
- Try tickling her lip with the nipple
151
00:08:32,247 --> 00:08:33,600
to let her know it's time to eat.
152
00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:36,782
Then just use your breast
to lower her bottom lip.
153
00:08:37,044 --> 00:08:38,193
I can't see the nipple.
154
00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:39,815
Todd, get the hell out of here!
155
00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,323
It's freezing in here.
156
00:08:48,513 --> 00:08:50,151
If you'd put on a pair of pants,
you'd be fine.
157
00:08:50,349 --> 00:08:53,147
Hey, in my house,
it's no pants, no problem.
158
00:08:53,393 --> 00:08:54,951
I'm putting in a video tape.
159
00:08:58,565 --> 00:09:01,284
- Now, what the hell is this?
- It's a security camera tape.
160
00:09:01,526 --> 00:09:03,721
I like to count the times that
Colonel Doctor goes to the bathroom
161
00:09:03,946 --> 00:09:07,097
during the day and then freak him out
by guessing the exact number.
162
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,765
And there's one.
163
00:09:09,743 --> 00:09:12,382
- Hey!
- Look, this clearly isn't working out.
164
00:09:12,621 --> 00:09:15,772
Well, I found this room,
so you should go.
165
00:09:16,041 --> 00:09:18,271
Oh, okay, okay.
166
00:09:18,502 --> 00:09:20,458
You know,
that's just about enough, Shrek.
167
00:09:23,548 --> 00:09:25,857
- What?
- I specifically told you
168
00:09:26,093 --> 00:09:29,403
not to give Mr Sandville dysopyramide.
Why would you change my orders?
169
00:09:29,680 --> 00:09:31,591
Well, there were two treatment options
and when in doubt,
170
00:09:31,807 --> 00:09:35,038
I always go
in the opposite direction of you.
171
00:09:35,477 --> 00:09:39,390
- Don't do it again.
- So, do it again?
172
00:09:40,274 --> 00:09:44,313
Look, Barbie, what you're missing here
is that you're private practise now.
173
00:09:44,611 --> 00:09:48,081
That means you're the enemy
and I know, as a doctor,
174
00:09:48,365 --> 00:09:50,162
disease is supposed to be the enemy,
175
00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:53,279
but I'm giving hepatitis and his band
of infectious buddies a pass
176
00:09:53,537 --> 00:09:54,856
and I'm coming after you today.
177
00:09:55,038 --> 00:09:57,154
Because the bottom line is
you'd rather clock out of here early
178
00:09:57,374 --> 00:10:01,686
than run the extra mile for your patients
and, Barbie, that makes you a sellout.
179
00:10:05,257 --> 00:10:09,569
You went 14 times total,
four false alarms and one emergency.
180
00:10:10,804 --> 00:10:11,839
Uncanny.
181
00:10:13,390 --> 00:10:16,541
I'm exhausted. Pick me up a latte.
182
00:10:18,604 --> 00:10:21,641
She's still not eating.
None of this stuff is working.
183
00:10:21,899 --> 00:10:23,127
We're the Turks, remember?
184
00:10:23,317 --> 00:10:25,672
Now, if you ask me,
Isabella is placing calls
185
00:10:25,903 --> 00:10:28,656
but no one's responding
in the areola code.
186
00:10:29,031 --> 00:10:31,147
- What?
- Those two little turkey timers
187
00:10:31,366 --> 00:10:33,516
you got there are telling me that
that birdie's not done.
188
00:10:34,161 --> 00:10:36,231
And this place is too public
for me to arouse them
189
00:10:36,455 --> 00:10:38,685
"freaky-deaky-styley,"
so I'm going to have to go
190
00:10:38,916 --> 00:10:40,144
an alternate route.
191
00:10:41,293 --> 00:10:45,411
Your dead momma had
one of the fattest asses I ever seen!
192
00:10:45,714 --> 00:10:49,150
- What?
- Turkey's done!
193
00:10:49,426 --> 00:10:52,259
She's latching. She's latching!
194
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:55,796
Dr Cox is such a jerk.
I'm so sick of hearing him
195
00:10:56,016 --> 00:10:58,166
get all righteous
about private practise doctors.
196
00:10:58,393 --> 00:10:59,951
We're the Turks! What?
We're the Turks!
197
00:11:00,228 --> 00:11:01,980
We're the Turks! What?
We're the Turks!
198
00:11:02,189 --> 00:11:03,747
- We're the Turks! What?
- You're the Turks!
199
00:11:03,941 --> 00:11:06,853
That's right! We're the Turks! What?
We're the Turks!
200
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:08,941
I mean, seriously,
since when does working at a hospital
201
00:11:09,154 --> 00:11:11,463
suddenly make you a better person?
It's such a load of crap.
202
00:11:11,698 --> 00:11:14,534
I don't know if it's really a load of crap,
it's just how you feel.
203
00:11:14,701 --> 00:11:17,420
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
Could you say that a little bit louder?
204
00:11:17,663 --> 00:11:20,302
I just don't need the money,
you know, like a sellout. So...
205
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:22,690
Wait, do you actually agree
with Dr Cox?
206
00:11:23,043 --> 00:11:26,399
It doesn't take too much to send
two people down a bad road.
207
00:11:26,672 --> 00:11:28,230
It could be a few simple words...
208
00:11:28,423 --> 00:11:29,822
I guess I do.
209
00:11:31,468 --> 00:11:34,028
...or even just a little surprise
waiting at home.
210
00:11:34,263 --> 00:11:36,094
We're the Turks! What?
We're the Turks!
211
00:11:36,306 --> 00:11:37,580
We're the Turks! What?
212
00:11:39,726 --> 00:11:41,762
Why are you watching my baby
and where's my wife?
213
00:11:42,521 --> 00:11:44,079
She said she'd be back later.
214
00:11:50,612 --> 00:11:54,048
- J.D., have you seen Carla?
- Sorry, Brown Bear.
215
00:11:54,324 --> 00:11:55,518
Hey, Mocha Cub.
216
00:11:57,119 --> 00:12:00,077
Carla just called to tell you nothing fit,
so she went to the mall.
217
00:12:00,581 --> 00:12:01,775
Watch her.
218
00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:06,622
Hey, Chuckles, if you're a doody-face,
just keep walking.
219
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:09,718
It gets funnier every time, people.
Hey, J.D.
220
00:12:10,424 --> 00:12:11,982
Hey, Elliot.
Look, I know you're probably mad
221
00:12:12,175 --> 00:12:14,484
- about what I said yesterday, and...
- I'm not mad.
222
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,109
Well, I mean, at first I was a little mad,
so I started power-walking
223
00:12:17,347 --> 00:12:19,178
down Fourth Avenue.
But right when I got to the place
224
00:12:19,391 --> 00:12:23,100
where it starts to get a little ghetto,
I realised you're just jealous.
225
00:12:23,645 --> 00:12:26,478
- I am not jealous.
- Oh, please, J.D., I know you.
226
00:12:26,732 --> 00:12:29,007
Whenever you're jealous,
you run your hands through your hair
227
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:30,189
and then you smell them.
228
00:12:31,153 --> 00:12:32,222
I do not.
229
00:12:32,404 --> 00:12:35,043
Okay, resist smelling
that coconut goodness
230
00:12:35,282 --> 00:12:38,080
that caresses your tresses. Don't do it.
231
00:12:38,827 --> 00:12:40,340
Whatever.
232
00:12:44,124 --> 00:12:45,603
Pina colada!
233
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:50,525
I think these would go great
with that shirt.
234
00:12:50,756 --> 00:12:52,633
Why don't you go try them on?
235
00:12:53,425 --> 00:12:54,904
Why were you just helping that guy?
236
00:12:55,093 --> 00:12:57,527
These pants and this shirt
are the only things I have left that fit me
237
00:12:57,763 --> 00:12:59,674
and everyone keeps mistaking me
for an employee.
238
00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:02,882
Anyway, I was helping Phil
with his whole new denim look.
239
00:13:03,143 --> 00:13:05,213
- Hey, could you also get me...
- Go away, Phil.
240
00:13:05,437 --> 00:13:07,155
Baby, let's go see the doctor.
241
00:13:07,356 --> 00:13:09,631
No. I'm not going to have
people laugh at me
242
00:13:09,858 --> 00:13:11,655
because I can't care for my own child.
243
00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:14,613
No doctors.
Not now, not ever, understand?
244
00:13:14,863 --> 00:13:15,898
We're the Turks!
245
00:13:22,746 --> 00:13:23,701
Put that down.
246
00:13:24,414 --> 00:13:26,211
Elliot said that
until you admit you're jealous,
247
00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:27,769
you can't use any of her things.
248
00:13:28,085 --> 00:13:30,679
Well, Elliot's not here, Keith.
What are you going to do about it?
249
00:13:32,673 --> 00:13:34,789
Nice singlet. Does it come in hetero?
250
00:13:35,676 --> 00:13:36,950
Do not turn on that TV.
251
00:13:50,691 --> 00:13:51,919
He wrestled you, didn't he?
252
00:13:52,526 --> 00:13:54,005
See, Keith found
his old high school uniform,
253
00:13:54,194 --> 00:13:56,344
so we've actually
incorporated it into our love play.
254
00:13:56,572 --> 00:13:58,164
I'm the lesbian coach
and he's the captain
255
00:13:58,365 --> 00:14:01,482
of the wrestling team and he turns me.
256
00:14:01,743 --> 00:14:04,382
So, have you decided to admit
that you're jealous?
257
00:14:04,621 --> 00:14:06,100
No, never, okay?
258
00:14:06,290 --> 00:14:08,884
And thanks a lot because the one hour
that Kim and I had to actually talk,
259
00:14:09,126 --> 00:14:11,162
I was stuck
in your stupid boyfriend's scissor hold.
260
00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:15,326
Don't you just love the way
his thighs feel against your ears?
261
00:14:16,091 --> 00:14:18,480
No, not particularly.
262
00:14:24,349 --> 00:14:26,863
- Dr Cox, I need your help.
- Not now, Gandhi.
263
00:14:27,102 --> 00:14:30,697
Darn it all, I could have sworn
there was a room right here...
264
00:14:33,734 --> 00:14:35,008
Do you hear something?
265
00:14:46,622 --> 00:14:49,580
Look, Carla's gone all
postpartum depression-y on me
266
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,592
and she won't let me
take her to see a doctor.
267
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:53,704
She's never going to listen to you.
268
00:14:53,921 --> 00:14:57,231
You're a guy, you have no idea
what she's going through.
269
00:14:57,507 --> 00:14:59,418
The fact is, the only person
she will listen to
270
00:14:59,635 --> 00:15:01,273
is someone who has
gone through it themselves.
271
00:15:01,929 --> 00:15:03,487
Fine, who?
272
00:15:04,348 --> 00:15:06,862
I cannot believe I am doing this.
273
00:15:27,079 --> 00:15:28,956
- I'm scared.
- Me too, Gandhi.
274
00:15:35,045 --> 00:15:36,034
What?
275
00:15:36,755 --> 00:15:38,791
- You look pretty, dear.
- So pretty.
276
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:46,109
Keekers?
277
00:15:46,348 --> 00:15:48,145
Nice.
278
00:15:51,478 --> 00:15:53,469
Hi, J.D.
279
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:56,249
Relax, I'm at the hospital.
This is just a web-cam.
280
00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:58,678
What's the matter, your Aryan
boyfriend had to go to a rally
281
00:15:58,902 --> 00:16:00,096
so now you have to watch me?
282
00:16:00,279 --> 00:16:02,474
Look, you don't have to admit
that you're jealous.
283
00:16:02,698 --> 00:16:04,928
I was thinking, Kim's not around
284
00:16:05,158 --> 00:16:06,671
and I can't even imagine
how much that sucks.
285
00:16:06,868 --> 00:16:08,938
So, I sent her a web-cam
just like this one
286
00:16:09,162 --> 00:16:10,880
and you guys can video chat
whenever you want.
287
00:16:11,081 --> 00:16:13,276
Anything to make
the long distance easier, right?
288
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:15,809
Anyway, I hope you like it. See you.
289
00:16:22,050 --> 00:16:23,927
I love the Inter-highway.
290
00:16:46,116 --> 00:16:47,629
I've been expecting you.
291
00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:50,954
You know, Jumpsuit,
as I was scaling the hospital,
292
00:16:51,204 --> 00:16:52,717
I had an epiphany.
293
00:16:52,915 --> 00:16:57,147
This back and forth between you and I
is just going to get worse and worse.
294
00:16:57,461 --> 00:16:59,850
I mean, the only thing
I could think about was retaliation
295
00:17:00,088 --> 00:17:01,806
and I'm relatively certain
296
00:17:02,007 --> 00:17:04,646
that you've got a couple of tricks
up your sleeve, too.
297
00:17:05,135 --> 00:17:07,012
I do have a friend,
he works on Wall Street.
298
00:17:07,220 --> 00:17:09,131
He and I got a good look
at your personal finances
299
00:17:09,348 --> 00:17:11,816
and he agreed to fly into town
and bash your head in.
300
00:17:12,684 --> 00:17:15,278
Right, that would roughly be
what I'm referring to.
301
00:17:16,104 --> 00:17:17,059
Then, yes.
302
00:17:17,272 --> 00:17:19,740
There really is
only one way to end this.
303
00:17:20,234 --> 00:17:23,943
We each ingest a cyanide capsule.
On three. One, two, three.
304
00:17:24,571 --> 00:17:25,526
No, what are you doing?
305
00:17:26,281 --> 00:17:27,873
- Mine's a Skittle.
- Mine, too?
306
00:17:28,492 --> 00:17:29,447
Sure.
307
00:17:29,952 --> 00:17:30,907
Get out of here.
308
00:17:31,453 --> 00:17:36,607
Look, there really is only one way to
end this so that we both come out alive.
309
00:17:36,959 --> 00:17:38,711
We've got to page him.
310
00:17:58,021 --> 00:17:58,976
You.
311
00:17:59,898 --> 00:18:01,650
Get the hell out of here
before I charge you
312
00:18:01,858 --> 00:18:04,292
for every cashew
you pilfered from the minibar.
313
00:18:04,861 --> 00:18:08,297
And you, stop eating the potpourri
and get back to work.
314
00:18:14,538 --> 00:18:18,133
- So, you have postpartum depression.
- No, I have the weepies.
315
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,647
- No, baby, you got...
- You have no lines in this play.
316
00:18:21,003 --> 00:18:24,075
- Okay.
- Jordan, I can handle it.
317
00:18:24,381 --> 00:18:26,099
Really? What do you got there
in your hand?
318
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,314
A job application for The Gap.
319
00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:31,114
Oh, that's a good career move.
320
00:18:32,014 --> 00:18:37,247
Look, all I ever wanted
was to be a mother
321
00:18:37,603 --> 00:18:41,482
and now that I am one
I feel like I'm not cut out for it.
322
00:18:41,899 --> 00:18:43,173
And you're ashamed of that?
323
00:18:43,358 --> 00:18:45,553
Well, wouldn't you be?
324
00:18:46,028 --> 00:18:47,222
Yeah. I was.
325
00:18:48,697 --> 00:18:50,972
What's the worst feeling
you've had since you've had the baby?
326
00:18:52,451 --> 00:18:54,760
- I don't know.
- When Jack wouldn't stop crying
327
00:18:54,995 --> 00:18:56,553
I wanted to throw
that bastard out the window.
328
00:18:56,997 --> 00:19:01,275
Really? I wanted to throw Isabella
out the window.
329
00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:04,399
Yeah, but we just had
our apartment repainted
330
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:06,541
and all the windows were sealed shut.
331
00:19:06,757 --> 00:19:09,271
So, I just wanted
to drop her off the roof.
332
00:19:09,718 --> 00:19:11,276
Oh, my God!
333
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:15,179
Listen, you can't get rid of this
by sheer force of will
334
00:19:15,474 --> 00:19:18,830
or positive thinking or taking advice
from a big Hollywood movie star
335
00:19:19,102 --> 00:19:21,297
and the dead science fiction writer
he worships.
336
00:19:24,191 --> 00:19:25,749
You need to get some help.
337
00:19:27,986 --> 00:19:29,897
- Okay.
- That's what I've been trying...
338
00:19:30,113 --> 00:19:32,069
If you talk again, I'm going to eat you.
339
00:19:39,289 --> 00:19:41,519
- Night, everybody.
- Looky here, Newbie,
340
00:19:41,750 --> 00:19:44,025
Private Practise Barbie is clocking out.
341
00:19:44,253 --> 00:19:46,528
Now if we could just get cancer
to go home at 5:00, we'd be all set.
342
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,313
Come on, you're just jealous.
343
00:19:50,425 --> 00:19:51,414
I know I am.
344
00:19:51,593 --> 00:19:55,381
The first step of solving any problem
is admitting that you have one.
345
00:19:55,681 --> 00:19:59,515
After that, you can start to work
on feeling like your old self again.
346
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:01,004
All right, Izzy,
347
00:20:01,186 --> 00:20:04,258
this is what your mom
looks like on anti-depressants.
348
00:20:04,523 --> 00:20:06,878
- Oh, we're sharing secrets now?
- Yeah.
349
00:20:07,109 --> 00:20:10,021
Oh, because, Izzy, look.
This is what your daddy looks like
350
00:20:10,279 --> 00:20:13,077
the last time he tried
to grow out his hair. How sad.
351
00:20:18,537 --> 00:20:20,255
That's cold, baby.
352
00:20:27,588 --> 00:20:28,543
Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
353
00:20:30,674 --> 00:20:32,471
That is so not why I bought you that.
354
00:20:32,676 --> 00:20:35,748
Elliot, relax. We heard you coming.
355
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:40,559
Whatever. Kim, your boobies
look great up there.
356
00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:43,698
I didn't hear her coming.
357
00:20:44,563 --> 00:20:47,441
Me, neither.
All right, now get back in there, stud.
358
00:20:47,941 --> 00:20:49,135
In a sec.
359
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:51,877
I really miss you.
360
00:20:54,489 --> 00:20:56,081
Yeah, I miss you, too.
29776
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