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1
00:00:00,621 --> 00:00:02,519
[moaning]
2
00:00:05,591 --> 00:00:06,489
- Showtime.
3
00:00:07,938 --> 00:00:10,079
When spreading the
word about STIs
4
00:00:10,079 --> 00:00:11,356
you have to mix
your tactics up a
5
00:00:11,356 --> 00:00:13,358
little and here's something
6
00:00:13,358 --> 00:00:16,292
no one else in history has
ever worked out before.
7
00:00:16,292 --> 00:00:19,812
Nothing controls the
general public like fear.
8
00:00:20,951 --> 00:00:22,470
Boo!
9
00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:25,956
Use a condom or you'll become
infected and end up like me!
10
00:00:27,199 --> 00:00:28,614
Arghh!
11
00:00:28,614 --> 00:00:30,858
Don't be laid low by
the curse of ignorance!
12
00:00:30,858 --> 00:00:32,066
Ooh!
13
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,379
- Oi!
14
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,138
- Abort mission!
15
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:39,211
You can't kill the undead!!
16
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:41,248
[screaming]
17
00:00:41,248 --> 00:00:44,941
[Titles: Metro Sexual music]
18
00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:06,031
- Isn't she beautiful?
19
00:01:06,031 --> 00:01:08,689
[birds singing]
20
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:13,003
Yes. The STI outbreak
is still ongoing
21
00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:14,729
and yes we haven't managed
22
00:01:14,729 --> 00:01:17,491
to make a single dent
in the numbers, yet.
23
00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:19,700
But, last week the
health department
24
00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,391
released an emergency fund
25
00:01:21,391 --> 00:01:24,498
to help clinics raise
sexual health awareness.
26
00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:28,226
This billboard was my pitch
for how to spend the money.
27
00:01:28,226 --> 00:01:29,813
And what do you know?
28
00:01:29,813 --> 00:01:31,850
It just so happens to be visible
29
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:34,956
from a certain
notorious car park.
30
00:01:35,957 --> 00:01:37,338
Let's see them ignore that.
31
00:01:46,209 --> 00:01:47,521
- That's funny.
32
00:01:47,521 --> 00:01:50,110
I've got a patient today
called Martha Bradbury.
33
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,733
- Oh, that is funny.
34
00:01:52,733 --> 00:01:53,768
- Martha Bradbury was the name
35
00:01:53,768 --> 00:01:56,323
of my imaginary friend as a kid.
36
00:01:56,323 --> 00:02:00,189
- You had an imaginary friend
called "Martha Bradbury"?
37
00:02:00,189 --> 00:02:01,500
- Yeah.
38
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:03,502
- That is the lamest
thing I've ever heard.
39
00:02:03,502 --> 00:02:05,849
What does she do? Work
at the boring factory?
40
00:02:05,849 --> 00:02:06,643
- No.
41
00:02:08,335 --> 00:02:09,577
She was an accountant.
42
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,132
- Oh my God.
43
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:15,135
Your actual imaginary
friend was an accountant?
44
00:02:16,343 --> 00:02:18,138
- It's not weird
for a kid to have
45
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,831
a 52 year old accountant
as an imaginary friend.
46
00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:25,731
Martha and I would have
the craziest adventures.
47
00:02:25,731 --> 00:02:28,320
Like, get this, one
time we calculated
48
00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:31,530
dad's capital gains tax using
the indexation method...
49
00:02:32,669 --> 00:02:37,467
Oh my God... she WAS lame.
50
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:46,787
- Morning. Did you get those
printouts Langdon was--
51
00:02:46,787 --> 00:02:48,340
Yeah. That'd be them.
52
00:02:48,340 --> 00:02:50,687
- Oh, Steve Goodwin called
about his test results.
53
00:02:50,687 --> 00:02:52,206
- Does he want us
to call him back?
54
00:02:56,486 --> 00:02:58,902
I have a great rapport
here with everyone.
55
00:03:00,421 --> 00:03:01,698
Everyone except Gwen.
56
00:03:03,148 --> 00:03:06,669
I don't know why, but we
just never quite hit it off.
57
00:03:06,669 --> 00:03:11,260
- If you could have either
a million bucks cash
58
00:03:11,260 --> 00:03:14,055
or a lifetime supply
of Filet-O-Fish?
59
00:03:14,055 --> 00:03:15,540
- Oh, it's a tough one.
60
00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:17,162
But seeing as I
hate Filet-O-Fish,
61
00:03:17,162 --> 00:03:19,060
maybe the million bucks
would be good. Yeah.
62
00:03:19,060 --> 00:03:19,958
- Yeah? Good choice.
63
00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:20,786
- What about you?
64
00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:22,202
- Filet-O-Fish.
65
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,824
- Yeah, a lifetime
supply. Absolutely.
66
00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:26,654
- Got to go.
67
00:03:26,654 --> 00:03:29,036
- Yeah I'll... catch ya later.
68
00:03:33,178 --> 00:03:35,870
- Greg, you know
Gwen pretty well.
69
00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:37,838
- Me? You reckon I know Gwen?
70
00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:39,253
[laughs]
71
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,530
I wouldn't say I
know her, but, yeah.
72
00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:43,568
- Right well whatever.
You talk to her a lot.
73
00:03:43,568 --> 00:03:44,741
Does she ever mention me?
74
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:48,262
- Yeah, nah, no no no... what?
75
00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:49,781
- Well it's just sometimes
I get the feeling
76
00:03:49,781 --> 00:03:50,678
she doesn't like me.
77
00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:52,128
- Doesn't like ya?
78
00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:53,163
[laughs]
79
00:03:53,163 --> 00:03:54,337
Doesn't like ya?
80
00:03:54,337 --> 00:03:55,165
[laughs]
81
00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:56,408
You're on crack Yasso.
82
00:03:56,408 --> 00:03:57,892
You're a great gaff.
83
00:03:57,892 --> 00:04:00,067
- Yeah. I am great.
84
00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:02,069
But what kind of
stuff does Gwen like?
85
00:04:02,069 --> 00:04:03,346
You know to like break the ice?
86
00:04:03,346 --> 00:04:04,485
What do you guys talk about?
87
00:04:04,485 --> 00:04:07,281
- Oh, ummmmm....
88
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,179
I'd say 85% of what
we talk about is
89
00:04:09,179 --> 00:04:10,560
how much Gwen hates Yasso.
90
00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,942
Without that we'd
have like [grunts]
91
00:04:12,942 --> 00:04:15,841
85% less stuff to talk about.
92
00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:19,086
We really need to find
some more things in common.
93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,161
- Okay next up we
have, oh - it's Martha.
94
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,991
- Good morning
Doctor Huddleston.
95
00:04:31,132 --> 00:04:34,135
- This is a drawing I did
when I was five years old.
96
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:40,072
That's just a
coincidence, right?
97
00:04:42,385 --> 00:04:44,767
Hello Martha Bradbury.
98
00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:46,631
It's me Steph-anie.
99
00:04:49,565 --> 00:04:50,911
How are you?
100
00:04:52,568 --> 00:04:54,811
- Very well now, thank you.
101
00:05:04,994 --> 00:05:07,168
- So Joseph we will get
this sample off to the lab
102
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:08,100
and go from there.
103
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:10,413
- [Gwen] [phone
message] Langdon,
104
00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:11,380
police on the line for you.
105
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:17,178
- Look at it.
106
00:05:17,178 --> 00:05:19,146
A complete eyesore.
107
00:05:19,146 --> 00:05:23,253
- Yes. I have to say this
is the first time that
108
00:05:23,253 --> 00:05:28,224
graffiti has resulted in
less penises on a billboard.
109
00:05:29,674 --> 00:05:30,640
- So how are you going to find
the hooligans who did this?
110
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,746
Fingerprints? Stake out?
111
00:05:32,746 --> 00:05:35,438
- No. We can check CCTV footage,
112
00:05:35,438 --> 00:05:37,233
but I wouldn't hold your breath.
113
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,961
- That's it? It's going
to cost me the rest of the
114
00:05:40,961 --> 00:05:43,584
emergency fund to get that
monstrosity cleaned off.
115
00:05:43,584 --> 00:05:46,553
- Frankly I suggest
just leaving it be.
116
00:05:46,553 --> 00:05:48,796
That diseased penis
had a lot of us
117
00:05:48,796 --> 00:05:51,247
on patrol feeling a
little bit queasy.
118
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:53,283
And we deal with
homicides for a living.
119
00:05:53,283 --> 00:05:56,217
- Well if you're not going
to take the case then
120
00:05:56,217 --> 00:05:57,495
I guess I'll just have to.
121
00:05:57,495 --> 00:05:59,048
- There is no case.
122
00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:01,844
And you're not going to take
the law into your own hands.
123
00:06:01,844 --> 00:06:02,707
- Oh no, I won't.
124
00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:08,022
- Why are you winking at me?
125
00:06:08,022 --> 00:06:08,954
- I'm not winking.
126
00:06:11,509 --> 00:06:13,027
- Stop winking.
127
00:06:13,027 --> 00:06:13,821
- I'll stop.
128
00:06:15,996 --> 00:06:17,204
- That was another wink.
129
00:06:24,522 --> 00:06:26,938
- So, Martha Bradbury...
130
00:06:26,938 --> 00:06:29,906
Been up to much today,
Martha Bradbury?
131
00:06:31,114 --> 00:06:33,565
- Not really. Just work.
132
00:06:33,565 --> 00:06:35,567
- Ah yeah? What's work?
133
00:06:36,948 --> 00:06:38,846
- I'm with an accountancy
firm in the city.
134
00:06:40,848 --> 00:06:42,022
- You're an accountant?
135
00:06:44,196 --> 00:06:46,406
- M'hm. Have been for 36 years.
136
00:06:48,822 --> 00:06:53,378
- Really. Well
that's interesting.
137
00:06:54,724 --> 00:06:58,003
Um, tell me what's
your favourite way
138
00:06:59,522 --> 00:07:02,042
to calculate say
capital gains tax?
139
00:07:02,042 --> 00:07:05,563
- Indexation method.
Unquestionably.
140
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:09,774
Stephanie?
141
00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:11,741
- How did you know my
name Martha Bradbury?
142
00:07:13,363 --> 00:07:15,158
- You told me on the way in.
143
00:07:17,057 --> 00:07:18,230
You all right?
144
00:07:20,578 --> 00:07:21,786
- I don't know.
145
00:07:34,074 --> 00:07:35,903
- What? I'm busy.
146
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:38,837
- Well I couldn't
help but notice you're
listening to music.
147
00:07:38,837 --> 00:07:40,563
What are you into?
148
00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:41,633
- I hate music.
149
00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:46,017
- What about
instruments? Do you play?
150
00:07:46,017 --> 00:07:47,570
- Maybe.
151
00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:48,502
- Really? Me too.
What do you play?
152
00:07:48,502 --> 00:07:50,918
- What do you play?
153
00:07:50,918 --> 00:07:53,369
- Piano, violin, french horn.
154
00:07:53,369 --> 00:07:54,715
- Do you play guitar?
155
00:07:54,715 --> 00:07:55,682
- No.
156
00:07:55,682 --> 00:07:56,924
- Good. I play guitar.
157
00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:06,589
- Hey, psst. Did Gwen
just say she likes to
158
00:08:06,589 --> 00:08:07,556
play the sitar?
159
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,730
- Yeah Greg.
160
00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:10,593
- Yeah?
161
00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:11,939
- Gwen plays the sitar.
162
00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:13,216
- Ah the sitar.
163
00:08:15,253 --> 00:08:19,050
Maybe we will have something
in common after all.
164
00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:21,121
[laughs]
165
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:28,024
Yes is that Marco?
166
00:08:28,024 --> 00:08:29,923
I saw your Gumtree post mate.
167
00:08:31,096 --> 00:08:35,791
Hey is the s-i-t-a-r
still available?
168
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,449
Great, what's the address?
169
00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:44,385
- Greg! I need your help taking
the law into my own hands.
170
00:08:44,385 --> 00:08:46,077
- I'll call you back.
171
00:08:46,077 --> 00:08:47,388
You just tell me
where to go Doc.
172
00:08:47,388 --> 00:08:50,219
I bloody love taking the
law into my own hands.
173
00:08:50,219 --> 00:08:52,186
- What about your patients?
174
00:08:53,912 --> 00:08:57,053
- Y'know what, you have
been doing such a great job,
175
00:08:57,053 --> 00:08:59,884
I think you are ready
to start taking patients
176
00:08:59,884 --> 00:09:01,817
on a more permanent basis.
177
00:09:01,817 --> 00:09:03,681
Specifically my patients.
178
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:05,372
Think you can handle it?
179
00:09:05,372 --> 00:09:09,169
- Oh, of course. I
am so ready for this.
180
00:09:11,516 --> 00:09:13,069
[screaming]
181
00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:14,554
- My Mooncup is stuck!
182
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,763
My Mooncup is stuck!
183
00:09:16,763 --> 00:09:20,318
Put the gloves on and
get in my vagina now!
184
00:09:35,057 --> 00:09:36,472
- I know.
185
00:09:36,472 --> 00:09:39,061
All right, the cleaners
arrive in a hour.
186
00:09:39,061 --> 00:09:40,545
There's two gates into the park
187
00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:42,720
so we will have to
monitor one each.
188
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,376
- Bloody love me
a good stake out.
189
00:09:44,376 --> 00:09:46,516
So right, when
this dickhead comes
190
00:09:46,516 --> 00:09:48,933
we terminate with
extreme prejudice yeah?
191
00:09:49,865 --> 00:09:51,867
- No. Don't hurt him.
192
00:09:51,867 --> 00:09:54,283
Just restrain him until
the police arrive.
193
00:09:55,180 --> 00:09:56,665
- Okay.
194
00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:58,701
- No one touches my penis
and gets away with it.
195
00:10:00,703 --> 00:10:01,531
- Right.
196
00:10:03,050 --> 00:10:04,534
[Martha] Thank you very much.
197
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,403
[Stephanie] Tell
me you can see her?
198
00:10:12,784 --> 00:10:15,235
- Yeah, she's even more boring
than I thought she'd be.
199
00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:16,719
Why are you so freaked out?
200
00:10:16,719 --> 00:10:18,134
- You don't understand.
201
00:10:18,134 --> 00:10:21,034
That woman isn't just similar
to my imaginary friend,
202
00:10:21,034 --> 00:10:23,692
that IS Martha Bradbury.
203
00:10:23,692 --> 00:10:24,762
- That's great.
204
00:10:24,762 --> 00:10:25,970
You can be lame friends again
205
00:10:25,970 --> 00:10:28,075
and go play in the
boring factory together.
206
00:10:28,075 --> 00:10:31,113
- Yeah but there's something
I haven't told you.
207
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,252
Something important.
208
00:10:34,012 --> 00:10:36,636
Martha wasn't just a
52 year old accountant.
209
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,189
That was just a cover.
210
00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:40,122
- For what?
211
00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:42,987
- Martha Bradbury...
212
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:48,061
was Australia's
deadliest serial killer.
213
00:10:58,519 --> 00:10:59,900
[playing sitar]
214
00:10:59,900 --> 00:11:02,282
♪ I really like you.
I really like you. ♪
215
00:11:02,282 --> 00:11:06,010
♪ I really like you Gweno.
216
00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:08,288
- [ Langdon over walkie-talkie]
Come in Leather Eagle.
217
00:11:08,288 --> 00:11:09,289
Still awake?
218
00:11:12,326 --> 00:11:13,603
- Yeah mate, I'm still awake.
219
00:11:13,603 --> 00:11:14,466
Nothing yet.
220
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,193
- Alright keep me posted.
221
00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:23,199
[knocking on window]
222
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:27,272
- Ah-hah! Jimmy
Brings! Yes he does.
223
00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:29,689
The secret to any
successful stake out
224
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,243
is to ingest your
own weight in sugar.
225
00:11:32,243 --> 00:11:34,245
Now as long as I
don't suddenly crash
226
00:11:34,245 --> 00:11:37,869
I'll be able to
stay up aaalllllll-
227
00:11:37,869 --> 00:11:40,044
[snoring]
228
00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:55,853
- Hello hello. Who is this then?
229
00:11:57,302 --> 00:11:58,959
The old 'flashy flashy' hey.
230
00:12:00,512 --> 00:12:02,583
[laughs]
231
00:12:04,827 --> 00:12:05,863
That's great.
232
00:12:08,486 --> 00:12:10,660
[singing]
233
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:15,355
Er you all right love?
234
00:12:15,355 --> 00:12:17,529
What are you doing?
235
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:18,634
What's going on?
236
00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:20,084
- Grrrr
237
00:12:20,084 --> 00:12:22,155
- Hands of the leather.
Hands of the [bleep] leather.
238
00:12:22,155 --> 00:12:23,397
[police siren]
239
00:12:23,397 --> 00:12:24,605
Oh no that's never good.
240
00:12:32,924 --> 00:12:35,133
[Car horn]
241
00:12:38,861 --> 00:12:39,689
- No!
242
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:42,313
Damn it!
243
00:12:42,313 --> 00:12:44,108
Leather Eagle! Come in!
244
00:12:50,735 --> 00:12:51,563
Hey!
245
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:52,702
Stop!
246
00:12:52,702 --> 00:12:53,496
Stop!
247
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:57,293
Citizens arrest!
248
00:12:57,293 --> 00:12:58,087
Citizen's arrest!
249
00:13:01,642 --> 00:13:02,471
- Get off me!
250
00:13:16,692 --> 00:13:20,006
- Wow, you look terrible.
251
00:13:20,006 --> 00:13:23,043
- I haven't slept.
Martha's results came in.
252
00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:23,975
She's got Hep B.
253
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:28,462
- How's she going to do it?
254
00:13:28,462 --> 00:13:29,325
- What?
255
00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:30,292
- When she kills you?
256
00:13:30,292 --> 00:13:32,604
- She's not going to kill me.
257
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,469
That Martha is not
the same person.
258
00:13:35,469 --> 00:13:38,783
Despite the fact that
she is exactly the same
259
00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:42,028
in every single other way.
260
00:13:42,028 --> 00:13:44,720
- But like what if she was?
261
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,551
- Well... she'd snap my neck.
262
00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:50,381
That's how Martha always did it.
263
00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:52,072
She'd stand behind you and
264
00:13:52,072 --> 00:13:53,867
[Clicks fingers]
265
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:54,868
- Oh.
266
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,628
- But she won't do that to me.
267
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,630
Why would she hurt me?
268
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,632
- Yeah, it's not like you have
269
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,911
any bad news for
her or anything.
270
00:14:02,911 --> 00:14:04,705
Mmm good luck.
271
00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:06,846
[humming]
272
00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:09,918
- Citizen's arrest
273
00:14:09,918 --> 00:14:11,057
Citizen's arrest
274
00:14:11,057 --> 00:14:12,713
Citizen's arrest
275
00:14:12,713 --> 00:14:15,164
This is still a
citizen's arrest!
276
00:14:17,097 --> 00:14:18,305
I want answers!
277
00:14:18,305 --> 00:14:20,100
Why are you covering
up my penis?
278
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,343
- That's your penis?
279
00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:23,966
- No it's not my, just
answer the question.
280
00:14:23,966 --> 00:14:26,796
Why are you trying to stop me
from advertising my clinic?
281
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:31,905
Alright then.
282
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:32,768
Police it is.
283
00:14:46,299 --> 00:14:49,095
- You can just palm
her off on Yasmin.
284
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:51,821
No one will care if
Yasmin gets murdered.
285
00:14:51,821 --> 00:14:52,615
- No.
286
00:14:54,548 --> 00:14:56,447
She's my responsibility Gwen.
287
00:15:04,213 --> 00:15:05,042
Martha?
288
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:09,943
- Stephanie. I've
just been dying to get
289
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,324
those test results.
290
00:15:12,325 --> 00:15:14,051
As I'm sure you have been too.
291
00:15:22,991 --> 00:15:25,200
Are you all right Stephanie?
292
00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,064
I've never seen you this tense.
293
00:15:27,064 --> 00:15:30,722
- You've only seen me
once before, haven't you?
294
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:34,830
- Yes and you
weren't this tense.
295
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,213
- It's because
296
00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:44,909
I'm afraid I've
got some bad news.
297
00:15:44,909 --> 00:15:46,669
- Oh dear me.
298
00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:49,741
Those shoulders.
299
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,398
- Sorry?
300
00:15:51,398 --> 00:15:54,332
- I can see the knots
in them from here.
301
00:15:54,332 --> 00:15:56,541
You need those seen to.
302
00:15:56,541 --> 00:15:57,370
- Okay.
303
00:15:58,405 --> 00:16:00,580
- In fact, let me.
304
00:16:01,788 --> 00:16:05,688
I've been told I have
deadly massaging hands.
305
00:16:05,688 --> 00:16:08,691
- Oh, oh no that won't be
necessary Martha Bradbury.
306
00:16:08,691 --> 00:16:10,728
- Don't be silly, Stephanie.
307
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:15,008
This won't hurt
anymore than it has to.
308
00:16:16,906 --> 00:16:21,877
Now, you were saying
something about test results.
309
00:16:24,362 --> 00:16:25,881
[whimpering]
310
00:16:25,881 --> 00:16:27,917
- Do you hate me because
you ate some of that
311
00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:29,091
torshi I brought you
from home one time?
312
00:16:29,091 --> 00:16:30,368
- No.
313
00:16:30,368 --> 00:16:31,887
- Do you hate me because
I left that urine sample
314
00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:33,751
in the staff room and you
thought it was apple juice?
315
00:16:33,751 --> 00:16:35,028
- Yes. But it's not that.
316
00:16:36,685 --> 00:16:37,927
- Do you hate me because-
317
00:16:37,927 --> 00:16:38,928
- Ugh, I don't hate
you because of anything
318
00:16:38,928 --> 00:16:40,792
you did wrong okay??
319
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,209
You're just good at
everything. You suck.
320
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:47,316
- SHE'S GONNA KILL MEEEE!
321
00:16:47,316 --> 00:16:49,629
[screaming]
322
00:16:56,325 --> 00:16:58,155
- I hope you are
happy with yourself.
323
00:16:59,121 --> 00:17:02,021
Tell me, do you have children?
324
00:17:03,539 --> 00:17:06,370
'Cause like it or not, your
kids are going to have sex.
325
00:17:06,370 --> 00:17:08,234
And if we're not
there to inform them
326
00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:11,685
what will happen if
they're all willy nilly
327
00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:14,274
with their willies,
then their genitals
328
00:17:14,274 --> 00:17:16,069
will end up like the one
you keep vandalising.
329
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,553
- Inform them.
330
00:17:17,553 --> 00:17:18,899
- Yes. Inform them.
331
00:17:20,108 --> 00:17:22,110
- That billboard is
directly outside my
332
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:25,734
12-year-old son's bedroom
window. He's been having
333
00:17:25,734 --> 00:17:29,048
nightmares about diseased
genitals ever since it went up.
334
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:31,464
There's a sex ed class at school
335
00:17:31,464 --> 00:17:32,982
and half way through the lesson
336
00:17:32,982 --> 00:17:34,950
he had a full
blown panic attack.
337
00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:39,230
- That's just wrong. He
shouldn't be scared of sex.
338
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:40,680
- Well he is.
339
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,856
- That's why you hid my penis...
340
00:17:54,901 --> 00:17:55,729
- There you are.
341
00:17:57,283 --> 00:17:59,492
- Yeah, sorry.
342
00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:01,149
Is Martha still here?
343
00:18:01,149 --> 00:18:02,322
- You just missed her.
344
00:18:04,048 --> 00:18:05,739
She's pretty bummed
about that time
345
00:18:05,739 --> 00:18:07,983
that you ran out of
your office screaming.
346
00:18:10,744 --> 00:18:13,678
Yeah.
347
00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,372
[car starting]
348
00:18:18,442 --> 00:18:20,996
- Oh, hey, can we talk please?
349
00:18:22,963 --> 00:18:23,826
Please?
350
00:18:26,588 --> 00:18:28,037
I shouldn't have freaked out.
351
00:18:29,832 --> 00:18:34,182
You remind me of someone
that I knew a long time ago.
352
00:18:34,182 --> 00:18:36,287
- And that made you
run away screaming?
353
00:18:37,737 --> 00:18:40,602
- It's... it's kind
of complicated.
354
00:18:42,673 --> 00:18:45,158
- I shouldn't have tried
giving you a massage.
355
00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:48,748
I think I was just trying
to put off the bad news
356
00:18:48,748 --> 00:18:51,371
as long as possible.
357
00:18:54,340 --> 00:18:58,930
Okay, you see, my husband and I,
358
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,760
we separated recently
359
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:05,178
and last week I went
on my first date
360
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:06,248
in 20 years.
361
00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:15,878
I don't know, being my age
and catching something...
362
00:19:15,878 --> 00:19:18,226
- You should never feel ashamed.
363
00:19:18,226 --> 00:19:20,435
I couldn't live with myself
364
00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:22,782
if I'd let you go
home feeling that way.
365
00:19:25,716 --> 00:19:27,476
Should we head back
inside and talk?
366
00:19:29,789 --> 00:19:32,447
- I may have jumped
to some conclusions.
367
00:19:32,447 --> 00:19:36,140
Turns out that giant
coincidences do happen.
368
00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:39,108
And lo and behold,
if you behave rashly
369
00:19:39,108 --> 00:19:42,836
then sometimes you end up
looking like a giant dildo.
370
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,842
- Officer Paul! There you are.
371
00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:51,673
- Doctor Marsh.
372
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:53,985
I hear you have been taking
the law into your own hands
373
00:19:53,985 --> 00:19:56,125
after I explicitly
told you not to.
374
00:19:57,575 --> 00:20:00,613
- You can't say it didn't
yield results, now can you?
375
00:20:00,613 --> 00:20:02,891
- Where's this
vandal of yours then?
376
00:20:02,891 --> 00:20:05,376
- The vandal is right...
377
00:20:08,517 --> 00:20:11,002
Not here. I was wrong.
378
00:20:12,418 --> 00:20:14,454
Looks like taking the law
into my own hands didn't work.
379
00:20:14,454 --> 00:20:15,904
So, fine me.
380
00:20:17,077 --> 00:20:20,115
- All right I will -
for wasting police time.
381
00:20:20,115 --> 00:20:22,324
- What?! I mean-
382
00:20:22,324 --> 00:20:25,051
- What he means to say is
he didn't find the vandal
383
00:20:25,051 --> 00:20:27,916
but he found me. My house
is right next to the park
384
00:20:27,916 --> 00:20:29,297
so I saw who did it.
385
00:20:31,747 --> 00:20:33,887
- Alright. If you'd
like to come down to the
386
00:20:33,887 --> 00:20:37,097
station with me ma'am,
we'll take your statement.
387
00:20:37,097 --> 00:20:38,823
- Great. Great!
388
00:20:38,823 --> 00:20:41,447
Thank you again for
coming forward Fiona.
389
00:20:41,447 --> 00:20:43,069
As a witness.
390
00:20:43,069 --> 00:20:44,829
- Not a problem doctor.
391
00:20:44,829 --> 00:20:47,694
- Oh, and even if you
do find the vandal,
392
00:20:47,694 --> 00:20:49,420
which we probably never will,
393
00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:51,871
I think I will take the
billboard down anyway.
394
00:20:51,871 --> 00:20:54,563
No one should be
frightened of sex.
395
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:58,084
- Sure. Doesn't
really matter to me.
396
00:21:10,890 --> 00:21:12,512
- [Gwen] [phone
message] Langdon,
397
00:21:12,512 --> 00:21:14,894
Graft on the line for you.
398
00:21:14,894 --> 00:21:16,620
- So I had the
billboard taken down.
399
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:18,484
I used up the whole
emergency fund
400
00:21:18,484 --> 00:21:21,314
so Graft's pretty mad with me.
401
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,730
But I had a new idea.
402
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:25,905
We shouldn't be scaring
people with sex.
403
00:21:25,905 --> 00:21:27,734
We should be celebrating it
404
00:21:27,734 --> 00:21:30,944
and protecting those bits
that bring so much joy.
405
00:21:33,602 --> 00:21:35,397
Oh, before you go Joe
406
00:21:35,397 --> 00:21:36,847
I don't suppose you'd
mind doing a little
407
00:21:36,847 --> 00:21:38,780
vox pop for us?
408
00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:40,713
Yasmin!
409
00:21:43,267 --> 00:21:44,820
- Yeah.
410
00:21:44,820 --> 00:21:47,306
I don't like Yasmin because
she is so good at everything.
411
00:21:48,790 --> 00:21:51,379
But I guess who I'm really
annoyed at is myself.
412
00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:54,554
I think it's time I started
to do what I want to do.
413
00:21:54,554 --> 00:21:57,108
Now I just have to
work out what that is.
414
00:22:00,767 --> 00:22:02,976
- [TV] Yeah you
know, it was... fine.
415
00:22:02,976 --> 00:22:04,495
- [Langdon voiceover] And that's
416
00:22:04,495 --> 00:22:06,635
what makes Metropolitan
Sexual Health
417
00:22:06,635 --> 00:22:08,465
a safe and fun
place for everyone.
418
00:22:09,431 --> 00:22:10,812
[sitar clanging]
419
00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:13,055
- Ew, what's that noise?!
420
00:22:13,055 --> 00:22:13,987
- Oh, that's Gr-
421
00:22:13,987 --> 00:22:16,024
- Yeah what is that racket doc?
422
00:22:16,024 --> 00:22:16,852
Bloody oath.
423
00:22:22,927 --> 00:22:24,412
- Good job mate.
424
00:22:24,412 --> 00:22:25,413
- Yeah.
425
00:22:25,413 --> 00:22:26,414
- Thanks Steph.
426
00:22:26,414 --> 00:22:27,415
- Very good.
427
00:22:27,415 --> 00:22:28,416
- Well done man.
428
00:22:28,416 --> 00:22:29,658
- All good.
429
00:22:29,658 --> 00:22:31,315
- Team effort!
430
00:22:31,315 --> 00:22:32,592
[broadcasting]
431
00:22:32,592 --> 00:22:34,387
- This week... she
snapped the necks
432
00:22:34,387 --> 00:22:35,664
of doctors all around Australia.
433
00:22:35,664 --> 00:22:37,804
But will she bend the
law to breaking point?
434
00:22:37,804 --> 00:22:39,496
Martha Bradbury is up next
435
00:22:39,496 --> 00:22:42,430
on "Psychopathic
Killers Uncovered."
436
00:22:43,914 --> 00:22:44,984
[WOMAN ON TV] Martha,
what are you doing?
437
00:22:44,984 --> 00:22:46,123
[WOMAN ON TV] Martha?
438
00:22:46,123 --> 00:22:47,504
No! [SOUND OF NECK SNAPPING]
439
00:22:47,504 --> 00:22:48,332
[theme music]
440
00:22:52,543 --> 00:22:54,718
- If your vagina is itchy, sore,
441
00:22:54,718 --> 00:22:57,168
smelly or producing
abnormal discharge
442
00:22:57,168 --> 00:22:59,688
then it might not
necessarily be an STI.
443
00:22:59,688 --> 00:23:01,310
- So don't panic too soon.
444
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:03,312
There are several
infections that are simply
445
00:23:03,312 --> 00:23:05,314
the result of imbalances
in the natural
446
00:23:05,314 --> 00:23:07,075
flora of your genitals.
447
00:23:07,075 --> 00:23:09,111
- The important thing
is that these conditions
448
00:23:09,111 --> 00:23:11,424
rarely cause long
term health issues
449
00:23:11,424 --> 00:23:13,771
so before you panic,
visit your doctor
450
00:23:13,771 --> 00:23:16,498
and find out exactly
what's up down there.
451
00:23:16,498 --> 00:23:21,192
- Yeah there's no need
to THRUSH to conclusions.
452
00:23:21,192 --> 00:23:24,195
[end credits music]
31376
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